04x22 - Westland

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

[IRON MAN NARRATING] An alien named
the Beyonder took pieces of worlds,

then mashed them together
to build Battleworld.

[CAPTAIN AMERICA NARRATING] The people
from those places, including the Avengers,

were brought to this world.

The Beyonder calls this his experiment.

We call it twisted and dangerous.

Now, with Loki on our side,

we're rebuilding a new Bifrost

so we can undo Battleworld

and end the Beyonder's experiment
and send everyone home.

We've got what we need
to build a new Bifrost,

including the sword of Heimdall.

But without Heimdall himself,

there's only one other person
who can use the sword

without ripping a hole in the cosmos...

Dr. Stephen Strange,

the Sorcerer Supreme.

Someone matching his description

was spotted in the old Westland.

But we have to watch our step.

Like all of Battleworld,

Westland is a little rough

and a lot unpredictable.

[HAWKEYE] This is the worst.

[WASP] Come on, Hawkeye.

Beats being cooped up in the Tower.

I've been itchin' for some action.

Let's just do this fast, get back,

and get off this stupid planet.

Huh?

[GROWLING]

Domesticated dinosaurs.
Amazing.

[SNARLS]

[WASP] Careful, Vision.

♪♪ [PIANO]

Follow my lead.
I got this.

[BOTH] Hmm.

Howdy, there, uh, pard.

[CHUCKLES, CLEARS THROAT]

Me and my, uh, posse are
looking for a tall guy...

got a tiny beard situation, red cape.
[SIGHS]

Maybe does magic?

They appear to be looking at
something in our immediate vicinity.

That one there's a robot.

Get it!

Get that bot before it gets us!

Hyah! Whaah!

Uhh-aah!

[GRUNTS]

Why are they angry at Vision?

You're asking me?

- Whaah! Gaah!
- Uhh!

Huh?

Not today, boys.

Ohh!

And by the way, rude!

Excuse me. Is it me
you have a problem with,

or is it just any
synthetic life-form?

[GRUNTS]
Ohh!

Aah!

Aah!

Always wanted to try that!

Well, I've been wanting
to try my new shrink discs.

Huh?

[WASP GROANS]
That wasn't my shrink disc!

Bigger isn't always better, Wasp.
Keep it simple.

[GROANING]
Mm.

♪♪ [DISCORDANT NOTE]

How's that for simple?

Mm.
[GROANS]

[GROWLING]

They wish to continue fisticuffs.

I guess we can oblige.
[NECK CRACKING]

[g*nsh*t]

[WASP] Doctor Strange?

I don't know what's going on here,

but I know I don't
have room for all of you

in the infirmary.

You vouching for these
outsiders, sawbones?

They brought in a robot.

The outsiders are with me.

And Vision is no mere robot.

Loki and the Avengers.

Well, this ought to be interesting.

People, please.

Can't we go one day in this
town without a saloon fight?

You four should come with me.

[DOCTOR STRANGE] When I first
arrived at Battleworld,

I wandered in the wilderness.

Eventually, I came upon this town.

When I saw they needed
a doctor, I stayed.

Now what of you?

What brings you to the Old West?

You, Doc.

Tony Stark's building a device
to get all of us back to Earth.

He needs your help to...

I'm sorry, but no.

I can't leave, not at this time.

Uh, why not?

Follow me to the infirmary.

Without me, these injuries
would have been fatal.

The people need a doctor.
I can't abandon them.

Wait a minute.
You're Sorcerer Supreme.

Do some hocus-pocus
to fix everybody up.

You know, uh, abracadabra.

I cannot risk using
the Eye of Agamotto.

Even a hint of my magic

could draw the attention
of dangerous elements

down on these innocent people.

Dangerous elements like the Beyonder?

Bah! You're Doctor Strange,
the protector of reality.

If the rest of us are taking
a stand, why can't you?

These injuries appear
sustained in heated battle.

What exactly is going on in your town?

[RUMBLING]

[SHOUTING, SCREAMING]

Got some unusual varmints in this town.

Robots. They've been attacking
the town every few days.

All we needed to know.

Avengers Assemble!

Everyone take cover!

Let the Avengers do what they do best!

Whew.

I said I was itchin' for action,

but this is even better
than I could have dreamed.

Another wave of robots
coming in from the east!

We won't be able
to hold them off forever.

Someone needs to go fetch the sheriff,

but she's out in the desert.

With the robots everywhere,

it may be difficult to reach her.

Allow me to go.
It's the logical choice.

I'm already tracking
the sheriff's heat trail.

Get back as fast as you can.

Good luck, Vision.

Hmm. Odd.

The tracks lead here,
but then they... Aah!

[GRUNTS]
Wait.

Who are you? What are you?

Huh... Aah!

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

Oh, no, you don't!
Not in my town!

Aah!

It's not really my town,

but you get
what I was going for. Huh?

[BEEPING]

Get down! Gaah!

Hawkeye!

[GRUNTING]

Move your hands.
Let the doc see what's wrong.

I already know what's wrong.

I can't see. I'm blind!

I am the Vision.
I am the Vision...

an Avenger from planet Earth.

I repeat... I am the Vision!

I am Groot.

Quit smiling, you idiot.

We're on the clock here.

[GASPS] I think
there's been a... Aah!

Stop talking. Get back in there.
[MUFFLED SHOUTING]

I am Groot.

Hey, it's not my fault he's synthetic
and dumb enough to get captured.

And he's not getting out.

That's what the scramble bag is for.

I am Groot.

Boo-hoo!
That's his tough luck.

[HAWKEYE] Ow! Ow!

[WASP] Stop fidgeting, you big baby.

We barely handled those robots

with all of us out there.

How am I supposed to help like this?

I'm sure it will be fine.

I bet it's just for a little while.
Right, Doc?

Well, based on the damage,
it could be days,

possibly even weeks.

Okay, so there's
nothing to worry about.

Ha ha ha ha.

[FOOTSTEPS]

I am Groot.

Oh, stop whining.

That thing? It's broken.
Needs new parts.

That thing...
it's made of parts.

So we take these parts,
mix them with those parts

so we can de-part
this stupid mixed-up planet!

I am Groot.

Oh, for the last time,
there is no other way.

This is the way!
This is the only...

I am Groot!

Hey, spare parts, knock it off!

That's my favorite sack!

Aah! Yaah!

It's not our fault
you're s-stupid.

We have never met,
but you match the descriptions

of the extraterrestrials
known as Rocket and Groot.

Aw, krutack.
He knows who we are.

Ah, we definitely got to scrap him now.

I am Groot!

So what if he can talk?

Spare parts is spare parts.

[GRUNTING] Huh?

Aah!

I am Groot!

Ah. Tonal modulation
with tiered data dump.

Very efficient.

I am Vision.

I am Groot.

I am Vision.

I am Groot.

I am Vision.

I am Groot.

I am Vision.

I am Groot.

I am Vision.

- I am Groot.
- Wait.

You can understand him, too?

You can talk to him?

I am Groot.

I am Vision.

Perfect.

Robot boy's a smarty-pants.

Well, if we're not scrapping him,

we're back to square one.

What is your "square one" situation?

Square one is me and Groot, our ship,

and a whole bunch of space junk

got sucked onto this dumb planet,

and we want off!

This space junk may be responsible

for the robots attacking the town.

I am Groot.

Groot's right.

It's a Kree Conquest Hive.

They drop one on some
unsuspecting planet.

It starts pumping out att*ck bots,
and they b*at down the locals.

Then all the Kree have to do
is the cleanup.

It's like dropping
a hornets' nest on your enemies.

[HOOFBEATS]

- Look out!
- I am Groot!

[SNARLING]

Vision, you all right?

You know this poc poc?

She is the one I was sent to find.

She is Dr. Jane Foster.

Folks call me Calamity Jane Foster.

I'm the sheriff around these parts.

And I saw these scofflaws
trying to ventilate you.

Whoa-ho-ho-ho!
Easy there, lawman lady.

Everybody's cool now.
See? See? Friends.

Me, Groot, robot guy.

I am Vision.

Yeah. Vision and us.
Same side.

Terrific. Maybe the four of us
will actually stand a chance.

[ROARING]

[ROARING]

I am Groot.

That does not appear to be
a domesticated dinosaur.

[JANE] No such thing as
a domesticated T. rex.

[ROARING]

I am Groot!

I am Groot!

I am Vision.

I am Groot.

Come and get me, ya filthy lizard!

Yaah!

I am Vision.

I am Groot.

What are they doing?

It's a corral.
Get the T. rex to chase us.

Hurry up, lawman lady!

Hyah!

I am Vision.

[LAUGHING]
I am Groot.

I am Vision.

Nice bit of wrestling there, boys.

Now, Vision, why
were you looking for me?

The robots are back.
Everyone find cover now!

[SCREAMING]

So it's come to this.

[SIGHS] Risking my life to
defend the lives of humans.

Loki, my friend, you are
a long way from Asgard.

Any other day, I'd be more than willing
to let them destroy this town.

But not today,
for today I am an Avenger!

[ECHOING] ...venger, venger, venger!

Here's the ladder
up to your usual spot.

Oh, great. And then what?

Come on, Wasp. I'm no good
in a fight without my eyes.

Kind of in the job description.

You still have ears, Hawkeye.

[SCOFFS] There's no Hawkeye here,

just blind Clint Barton.

All right. Fine.

No one's gonna blame you
if you sit this one out.

There's a door behind you.
Get inside and take cover.

But if you pick up that bow,
you're an Avenger.

That's the ladder.

[MOCKING]
"That's the ladder."

[GRUNTS]

That sounded like a hit!

You were right. This is
a whole lot of space junk.

Told ya.

If you got robot hordes
going after that town,

they're coming from here.

There is something

projecting an immense energy signature

a few hundred yards in that direction.

[expl*si*n]

I think we found
our Kree Conquest Hive.

I wish. Ordinary robot factory
we could maybe take down.

What we're seeing is a Hive Queen,

and it's on the move!

Uh... Uh... Aah!

Aah! [PANTING] Aah!

Aah!

I am Groot!
[expl*si*n]

Yeah. We all got eyes!

Hive Queen's gonna
wipe out the whole town!

[TOWNSPEOPLE SHOUTING]

[WOMAN]
Oh!

Everyone, fall back to the infirmary.

You heard the good doctor.

Run! As fast as your little
mortal legs will carry you!

Oop. There you are.

What's happening out there?

The mother of all monster
robots just joined the party.

Well, I can't hear over the noise.

No way to make pinpoint targets.
[SCREAMING]

Can you picture a clock in your head?

Well, yeah, but what's that gonna...

I'm your eyes.
: high. Fire.

Did... Did I get it?

- Uh...
- That good, huh?

Okay. New plan.

sh**ting down.
: , : , and : . Fire.

Still need to figure out what we're
gonna do about that big one.

I am Groot!

What are you babbling about?

You need an army to stop a Hive Queen.

Even then, your chances are
zero and close to zero.

An army, huh?
I know where we can get one.

Come on.

Townspeople are holed up
in the infirmary.

We must keep the robots
away from there.

Hawkeye, move!

Gonna have to be more specific!

We're about to...
Aw, forget it!

- Wasp, what is going on?
- Jump!

Oh, gaah!
Uhh! Uhh!

Well, our situation is not
too much worse than before.

Okay, now what?

I see it, and I don't believe it.

I think the cavalry's arrived.

[GRUNTS]

Sheriff, pleased to see
you in good health.

I can't leave this town
for five minutes, can I?

Huh? Loki? Here?

Apparently, Loki is an Avenger now.

Of course he is.

I guess I won't
blast him... yet.

Forget the little ones.

If we don't stop the Queen,

it'll just keep making
more att*ck bots.

I am Groot!

[GRUNTING]

The mortals inside...
they have nowhere to run.

Eh, I got one blast arrow left.

And I've got an idea.

Get that arrow ready, Avenger.

That arrow will not produce a blast

strong enough
to destroy the Hive Queen.

Our odds of success now are...

Never tell me the odds.

Hawkeye, sh**t!

At what?

At me! At my voice! sh**t now!

So that sounded good.

Sure did, Avenger.

Why?
What did you do to it?

[SNIFFING]
It's not hemlock, is it?

It's a peace offering.

The Avengers trust you, so I will, too.

But if you step out of line,

I will bring the wrath of Jane Foster

down on your butt
like a force of nature.

Cheers.

Ladies and gentlemen,

may I present one Hawkeye,
nearly healed.

Ah, you're a fast healer.

Told you you'd be back on your feet.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you did.

Thanks for the pep talk.

Everybody needs one
sometimes. Even you.

I speak for everyone when I say
thank you for saving the town.

And with things safe,

me and the doc can go back
with you to Avengers Tower.

Which means I can officially
resign as town sheriff.

Yeah. You primates are all settled,
but what about us?

Me and Groot are still stuck here.

A reward?

There's money in hunting down bad guys?

Yep. A few straggler
fugitive robots

got away into the desert.

Real reward for anyone
who can round them up.

[CHUCKLES]

You are now looking at the new sheriff
and deputy of Timely Township.

I am Groot, huh?

No. I'm the sheriff.
I said it first.

Me! Stop it! Stop it!

I mean it! Stop!

[GROWLING]

Got to say, this beats walking
all the way back to Avengers Tower.

In the movies, the heroes ride
into the sunset yelling "Yee-haw."

Yeah, I wouldn't
hold my breath for that.

[VISION] I'm a synthezoid.

I do not actually breathe.

Figure of speech, Vision.

Figure of speech.