03x06 - Narls In Charge

[bunniefuu]

- Previously on "Workin' Moms"...

- Who are these guys?
- My only clients.

I read the article. What a witch hunt.

I don't think...

You're on the right side of this.

Hey! Hey! Who are you?

Hey!

For the record, you're a psycho.

I am gonna try and
have a baby on my own.

This is really exciting.

Well, it looks like all I have to do
for the next two days

is find some pro bono work.

- And you have that dinner.
- What dinner?

The one with me.

Thank you for meeting me last minute.

It seems the hair-cutting incident
was just the tip of the iceberg.

Parents and faculty
have expressed concern

with many of Charlie's behaviors.

His aggression,

his hyperactivity,
and all towards female students.

Are you calling my son a misogynist?

No,

we would never use a term like
that to describe a 3-year-old,

but it is interesting that you would.

Okay, okay, let's just...

can we just slow down for a second?

I actually owe you a thank you.

That panda book was really helpful,

and not just for Charlie, for me, too.

Uh, being afraid isn't bad, be yourself,
and turn sad panda glad.

That's-that's brilliant,
and it's really changed him.

I'm happy to hear that.

But, things haven't improved here,

so I have decided to suspend him.

Suspend-suspend him? For how long?

'Til Narla determines that
he's safe to reintegrate.

Who the hell is Narla?

Oh God! How long have you been there?

Narla is an early childhood
development specialist.

You see, in order
for Charlie to be able to return

into the classroom,
she's going to observe his behaviour,

with your signed permission, of course.

And her fee, paid up front.

Are you telling me I'm
bringing Narla home with me,

- and paying for that privilege?
- Yeah.

Uh, I'm sorry,
but I don't think my hus... I don't...

I don't think Nathan is
going to sign off on that.

He's already signed off on it.

So, Narla, how does this work, exactly?

Just go about your regular life.

I'll blend into the background,
and it will be like I'm not even here.

Uh listen, I didn't expect
to have you, or Charlie,

with me today,
and I'm in the middle of some stuff,

so I'm gonna go ahead and
drop you off at my mom's.

She's an angel,
second mother to Charlie.

You're gonna love her.

Mothers love me.

Mom!

Hey Mom, sorry to spring this on you,

but I really need help
with the kids today.

Oh my God, Mom, what happened?

Ow! I so did not want you to
see me like this today, Kate,

but if you,
and your very strange friend there,

must know, I am recuperating

from vaginal rejuvenation surgery.

And I am on a lot of dr*gs,

so I can be of no
assistance to you today.

Vaginal rej... no, you did not.

The pain will all be worth it
for the look on Barry's face.

Upon entrance.

Okay, Mom, should you even
be having voluntary surgeries

at your age? And this...

is not my friend,
she's here to observe Charlie

because he was suspended from
school for being a misogynist.

Oh, just like your mother.

That's not true.

She's known for her sense of humor.

So nice to be needed.

You know,
if I knew that this is all it took,

I would've have vaginal
rejuvenation surgery years ago.

I'm done. Mom, today of all days,

I really needed a parent.
Dad would've never done this.

Well, Dad didn't have a vag*na,
Katie, you know that.

And make sure you show the doctor

your nutrient fanny pack,
so she knows you're the real deal.

Well, she's just gonna read
the results off a clipboard.

Uh uh, the fanny pack helps, trust me.

They go, "Oh, she cares!"

So, what are you gonna miss
most about being not pregnant?

Mini Margarita Mondays at Chico Mico's.

- They're amazing.
- They're amazing.

But you know, they're still gonna
be here when the baby's born,

and that's when you're really
gonna need 'em.

Yeah.

All right.

You sure you don't want
me to come in with you?

Nope. I'm trying to prove to myself

that I can handle
this mom thing alone, so.

I totally get it.

It sounds dumb,
but I'm pretty sure it worked.

Is that crazy?

No, not in the slightest!

- I'm gonna see you at lunch.
- Okay.

- I'm bringin' the tacos.
- Yup.

You're bringin' the good news.

Yeah.

Oh God!

Hey! Thought I heard a couple rascals.

- Hey.
- Hey, what's up?

- I owe you a thanks.
- For?

My optometrist said that my
vision has slightly improved,

and I think it's from drinking
your, you know.

Shh.

Lucky kids, huh? Tit milk on tap?

No, that's a funny joke
you just made up.

So creative.
Look, the kids are here today

because there's some complicated things

- happening at home.
- Kate, real talk,

are we running away, or not?
My bags are packed.

As soon as you admit your feelings,
we're out of here,

okay? These kids, they need a strong,

young, male presence in their life.

Holy sh*t! Whew.

Ooh-h-h.

Forrest, this is Narla,
and she's from Charlie's school.

I did not know you were in here.

- Yup.
- Uh right, we'll talk later.

Nice to meet you, Narla.

Was he insinuating that he
drinks your breast milk?

Morning, sleepyhead,
I brought you coffee!

What time is it? Where are the girls?

I took them to school.

Don't hate me, but I called you in sick.

What? I can't, I have patients.

Your patients are just
gonna have to fend

for themselves today, because today,

it's all about this
basket case right here.

- Excuse me?
- Beautiful basket case.

Come on, let's go! It'll be fun!

Rude!

Look, I can't change why you feel pain,

but...

I can give you a place to put it.

What?

Put it on.

Yes! Yeah!

Aw, yeah!

Woo!

- Yes!
- Yeah!

YEAH!!!!

That was so awesome!

I mean, wow.

I love you so much.

So, I guess this means it didn't take?

So much for your f*cking
nutrient super pack.

What happened?

The doctor thinks my
eggs are the problem.

Ugh, I'm so sorry.

The fake it 'til you make it
doesn't apply to pregnancies, Frankie.

You got me so worked up.

Pushing me to spend God
knows how much money

on a biological impossibility.

I was just trying to be supportive.

Well, that's not support.

That's being a bad friend.

Oh, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey.

Bianca, I know we are upset,
but you can't give up!

But I'm broke!

I don't have the financial
resources you have, okay?

Look, it's over. I gotta go.

I'm sorry.

Wait! You got-you got a
whole margarita still here!

Got it.

Yo, yo, yo,
what up, it's Juniper,

but you already know that though,
'cause you're callin' me.

Leave a message, I might listen to it,
I might not.

Hey, Juniper, this is Frankie calling,
your benefactor.

Uh yeah, I'm just calling

because I haven't heard from you, just,

you were gonna call me when
your student loan came in,

so yeah, gimme a call.

Again. This is Frankie.

Hmm.

Oh, excuse me?

Hey, uh, I, excuse me, hi.

Uh sorry, we're not open yet.

I know, but um,
Juniper works here, right?

- Um...
- I'm a pal.

I'm a pal, and her voicemail is full.

She's not in today.

Oh. Well, do you know where she is?

Today's Monday so...

Oh, so school I guess.

No, she's probably at the
park with the drum circle.

The drum circle?

She's actually really good.

Of course she is.

Juniper!

Juniper!

Hey! Hey. Um...

Why aren't you in school?

Uh yeah,
I was gonna talk to you about that.

- Uh huh?
- Mhmm.

I... come on.

I uh, I dropped out.

- Excuse me?
- I was gonna talk to you.

- I was gonna tell you?
- When, exactly?

Um, well,
when I figured out all the money stuff,

because I had to withdraw
my loan application,

so I started picking up a
few shifts here and there.

So you didn't get your student loan.

Well no, I'm not a student anymore. So.

I want my money back. Now.

I don't have it.

Well, what the hell did you spend it on?

Come here.

I'm gonna show you somethin'
in your ears.

Okay, so it isn't mixed or mastered yet.

This is like a first draft.

The vocals have been comin' hot,
but we're fixing it.

So you spent my money on a demo?

♪ Keep these lips off your lips ♪

♪ Not these lips,
oh yeah, those lips ♪

♪ These hips These hips ♪

- Oh God, that's just-no.
- No?

Oh, it's sh*t, isn't it?

f*ck!

It's... No! You lied to me!

No, I didn't like.
Okay, okay, it's not school,

but it's an education.

My producer says I've
really got something.

Maybe you're just-you're
just not the democratic.

- Demographic.
- Totally.

- Wait, are you mad?
- Mhmm, I am mad.

Hey, I'll get the money.
I'll figure something out.

I'll walk dogs, or babies, or something.

Okay, you don't get it, do you?
I need that money.

My friend is in so much pain.

She can't get pregnant,

and thanks to you, and your demo,

there's nothing I can do about it!

Why can't she get pregnant?

Is her vag*na broken?

No! It... Her eggs are broken.

Oh. You need eggs?

I've got eggs.

What?

Yeah, I tried to sell them a while back,
but they're still frozen.

They keep sending me storage bills.

You're comin' with me.
Come on, let's go!

- Okay. Can I get my weed?
- Nope.

Okay, so uh, Narla,
since you're with us today,

I thought maybe you could just hold Ella
while I get this rash looked at.

I'm kidding, this is for work,
why we're here.

You don't care. Cool. Hi!

Hello, my name's Hannah. Welcome.

What hassle-free services
can we offer you?

Your children? Your sister?

I'm not here.

No. Hi, Hannah, I am Kate Foster.

I actually run a PR firm.

I'm not in need of your services,

I'm actually hoping I can help you.

Oh.

Completely pro bono, of course.

I realize that generally,
women's clinics

have pretty good public images,

but you'd be surprised
what I can do for you.

My resources can attract the attention

- of some very large donors.
- Wow, Miss Foster,

if only you'd showed
up a few months ago.

What happened, you save all the women?

Unfortunately,
our clinic is closing down soon.

A developer bought the land,

and I suppose the
health of women in need

isn't as profitable as a Starbucks.

Well, that's f*ckin' bullshit!

Oh. No...

Sorry.

Damnit.

Thanks for coming.

Can I hand you this to give to Ella?

It's her favourite, and she...

- If you could just...
- I prefer not to get involved.

No, no, totally.

All you'd have to do is just sorta...

- I'm not even here.
- Could you like,

lean it on your arm and...

- I'm blending into the background.
- Here sweetie!

There we go.

Thank you for that.

Hi.

Hi, I'm gonna need you
to take your family.

My mom can't take them
because of her new vag*na.

Oh, and remember that form you signed
without even getting my consent?

- Meet Narla.
- I'm not even here.

Oh, she's here, all right,

and she's a real f*ckin' treat.
You guys have a blast!

- Bye!
- A new vag*na? Kate?

Do you have any snacks?
We haven't eaten in hours.

So, what are you guys gonna do?

I dunno, hang out.

Hang out, eat snacks, stay up late.

- Pretty much.
- Yeah. Yeah.

'K, I'll call you in the morning.

Okay. I'm just gonna come
to the door with you.

Oh, no you really don't have to.

It's okay,
I just have something really quick

I wanna say to him.

- Whoa.
- It's okay,

you're not in any danger,
I just wanted to show my face

and apologize for my
behaviour the other day.

Okay, now that's big of you, I guess.

Hope you can understand that
although I grossly overreacted,

I was just being protective.

I saw my daughter in
a strange man's car,

and well... you know, I freaked.

I guess now we know
where Alice gets her spunk.

Oh... okay.

- Hi, Mrs. Carlson.
- Hi, Brenna!

I also owe you an apology.
I'm sorry for scaring you.

There's no excuse for that.

Oh, it-it's okay. It was kinda funny.

Oh.

Mom, can I go upstairs with Brenna?

Yup. Away you go.

Okay. Have fun!

Those two girls, best friends, huh?

- Yeah, besties.
- Mhmm.

You know, it's good that uh,
we have a connection now, too.

Uh yeah, it just took me
yanking you out of your car.

Don't b*at yourself up about it.

But, if I may,

you know, as parents,
we wanna try to avoid

passing down some of our less
desirable attributes, you know?

I'm not sure I follow.

Uh, it's nothing really but...

since Brenna's been spending
so much time with Alice,

I've just noticed some
interesting new vocabulary.

Vocabulary.

Like um, what?

Well, for example, the other night

she said "horseshit",

when I told her that screen
time was over for the night.

I mean, it's not that big of a deal,

it's just something
for us to look out for.

- Mhmm.
- Just wanted to flag it.

Flagged!

- Great.
- Yup, great.

I know you feel like giving up,

but we're here because
we got a Hail Mary.

I got eggs.

What kinda kid you want? Healthy eater?

I once ate like 12 hot dogs.

Resourceful?

I can turn almost anything
in this house into a bong.

You get locked outta your car,
I once broke into a van

with nothin' but a hammer and a beer.

What was the beer for?

I-I drank it, and then
I smashed the window with the hammer.

Okay, my fertility isn't a joke.

Both of you, out now.

- Wait! You owe me.
- I get it.

You're uncomfortable
with a little me inside of you,

although Frankie didn't have
that problem, right Frankie?

Oh.

You're offering me your lover's eggs?

How old are you, anyway?

Old enough to bag three golds
in Division 1 swimming, biatch.

Okay, see there, she may be a dirtbag,

but she is a talented dirtbag!

- Tell her about school.
- I dropped out.

No, not that.

Oh, I had a 3.5 GPA.

Well, that's-that's pretty good.

Yeah, right? And her dad was in Mensa.

Yeah. Didn't shut the f*ck up about it.

Really?

This feels like the
right time to tell you

- that I'm also a sick musician.
- Nope, she's not.

Swims like a fish, though.

- So I find that good cause,
- Mhmm.

it was perfect.
It was this women's clinic,

and then they tell me a
developer bought up the land,

it's getting teared down.

Back to the drawing board, I guess.

What are you talking about?
That's the best-case scenario.

I'm not following.

Kate, you have the woman
power to get the word out,

and you become this
developer's worst nightmare.

Oh what, like save the place?

You think a couple retweets are
gonna make these guys budge?

Wow, I didn't know you
were so easily deterred.

Well I'm...

You're gonna have to get
a little more creative

than that, Kate. If you wanna win.

Okay, these guys are clearly
willing to play dirty.

Now the question is, are you?

Yeah.

Where are you from?

Like, what planet?

Did you get any angry calls today?

- A few. Less than yesterday.
- Exactly,

and there are gonna
be even less tomorrow.

So just ride out the storm,
you're gonna be good.

I feel like I could say anything to you,
and you wouldn't be affected.

Hmm. Let's try it out.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

My son got suspended from school.

Grades don't matter.

My mom got vaginal rejuvenation surgery.

Hobbies are healthy.

I used to be really into
Japanese cartoon p*rn.

But I'm weaning myself off of it, but...

Good for you. Baby steps, there.

What about you?

What about me? I'm an open book.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Kids?
- No.

- Pets?
- No.

- Wife?
- Divorced.

- Why?
- She wanted kids.

Favourite song?

- Ooh, "Cream", Wu-Tang.
- Really?

Hmm, cash really does
rule everything around me.

I've really loved talking
with you, Kate.

- Oh, do you have to go?
- Yeah, I do.

- It's been really nice, Kate.
- Yeah, yeah.

Let me know if my good advice
gets you that win, huh?

I will.

f*ck me.

Hi.

I'm so sorry about Narla,

that was totally my bad.

God she...