02x05 - Skate Rat

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Kickin' It". Aired: June 13, 2011 - March 25, 2015.*
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Follows a crew of lovable misfits- Jack, Jerry, Milton and Kim - and their Sensei Rudy - at Bobby Wasabi Martial Arts Academy.
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02x05 - Skate Rat

Post by bunniefuu »

- Whoo! Go, Randy!
- Yeah!

- Come on, Randy!
- Come on, buddy!

- Yeah! Way to go, randy.
- Way to go. Whoo!

All right, come on, milton, you got this.

- Yeah, hang in there, milton.
- Let's go, bro.

You're about to shatter your old record.

What a rush!

The wind in my hair. The adrenaline pumping.

Dude, your skating's a joke.

The sweet air I caught when I ran over that pebble was no joke.

That pebble was my pinky toe.

All right, Jack, let's see what you can do.

- Yeah, man.
- I've got some moves I've been working on.

Whoa whoa whoa!

Mm-hmm.

What do you think you're doing?

- I'll take this.
- Oh, come on, Joan.

I'm sorry, but I've got a job to do.

And it's to teach you punks how to shred. Huh?

Check it.

This skate rat can grind it like a coffee bean.

And whoo!

That was sweet!

Good thing my boss, mr. Peters, didn't see that.

We call him ratface.

Hey, ratface. Ooh!

Mr. Peters, I was just doing a little undercover sting operation

I like to call operation undercover...

sting operation.

Anyone caught skateboarding

will be banned from this mall. 'prende?

What?

Great!

First the skatark closes,

and now we can't skate here.

Fine. They may ban our boards,

but they'll never ban our spirit.

Yeah.

- Eddie.
- Oh yeah.

Don't you get all tough with me

I'm saying won't you come kick it with me

and we could have a ball,run up the wall

that's just how we do

and no matter how much I chop and punch

it's not as cool as kickin' it with you

here we go,let's start the party

chop it up like it's karate

everybody

don't you get all tough with me

I'm saying won't you come kick it with me

and we could have a ball,run up the wall

that's just how we do

and no matter how much I chop and punch

it's not as cool as kickin' it with you.

Come on, guys. We gotta think.

There's gotta be another place to

Well, there's that paved path we cathrough the cemetery.

That's not gonna happen.

With my deliciously plump brain,

I'm considered grade-a zombie bait.

Look, when I was a kid, we didn't need skateparks.

We used to make games like "What's that smell?"

Or "Whose hair is this?" Or "Why is that wet?"

Look, we just need a place to skate.

I don't even understand why skateboarding's so cool.

When I was in school, the only person who was into it

was a kid named Luke Sampson.

I will prove that I au a ninja

by showing you my super-fast ninja reflexes.

All right? Now you just try and take this raisin out of my ha--

Dude, I wasn't even ready!

And you don't ever eat a ninja's raisin!

Hey, Rudy.

Ugh. What do you want, Luke?

I'm going outside to jump over the dumpster on my skateboard.

You wanna watch?

No. We're getting ready to start a sweet game of "What's that smell?"

Dude needs to get a life.

Now let's try this one more ti--

Dude, I wasn't ready!

I wonder whatever happened to that loser.

Uh, actually, he became a multi-millionaire skateboard mogul

What?!

He just released a cool new body spray called damp.

I love their slogan--damp

when moist isn't enough.

Wait a minute.

Guys, he builds skateparks all over the country.

Maybe we can get him to build one right here.

Yeah. Rudy, since you know him, can you get us a meeting?

What? Uh, yeah.

Yeah. No, Luke's my boy.

We were tight.

And just so you guys know,

I've been working on my own body spray.

It's called midnight ninja.

It's the smell you never see coming.

Silent but deadly.

Ooh, that'd be a good slogan.

Uh, it wasn't a slogan. It was a warning.

Luke, thanks so much for seeing us.

It's pretty incredible, right?

We came from the same school.

And look at us now.

You with you international business and helicopters,

and me with my--

I don't wanna brag.

No, go ahead, Rudy.

Brag.

Uh, well, I-I-- I was asked to endorse

a chain of martial-arts themed

bakeries called

tae-kwon donuts.

In your face, Kim.

Yeah, so anyway,

this is our research and training center.

Now we test every product we come up with.

Sampson isn't just a board,

It's a lifestyle.

Yo, we even developed our own organic skater snacks.

- Try a seaweed doodler.
- Oh.

Too much seaweed, not enough doodler.

- Hey.
- Welcome to l.S. Industries.

Are you the ys we're supposed to work with?

- Well, actually, we're just--
- yes. Yes, we are.

So you're ready to do this?

My middle name is "Do this."

I thought your middle name was caesar?

Which is spanish for "Do this."

The thing I remember about you, Rudy, is you used to love

to wear your pajamas to school.

It was a warrior gi.

So what can I do for you guys?

Mr. Sampson, you build skateparks all over the country.

Mm-hmm.

We were hoping that you could build one in our hometown.

Are there real skaters in seaford now?

When I was growing up, I was the only one.

"Are there skaters in seaford?"

Uh, hello.

Let me see this. Yeah.

Here you go, Jack.

Get ready for it.

You're gwnna k*ll it out there.

Hey.

Right on. I'll give it to you, Jack-- you can skate.

I might be interested in building your skatepark.

Great! We've got the perfect spot.

Cool, let's go check it out.

Yo, but first let's pound some Luke Sampson eel juice, huh?

Whoo! Oh yeah, there's the energy.

What do you think, Rudy?

That's some good eel.

Huh? Great spot, huh? What do you think?

Give me a second, man.

I gotta feel this.

Bam! There's your ramp.

Ka-pow! -foot grind rail.

Boom! There's your half-pipe.

Hold on.

Swit the boom and the ka-pow,

- Now you got a skatepark, bro!
- Yeah!

If we have any room , left We should put...a bang over there!

What's a bang?

I was kind of hoping you knew.

There she is.

The old widowmaker.

When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was climb that tree.

But mother said no, I'd get hurt.

Well, ma ain't here now, is she?!

Aww.

Check it out. What is that, a rat?

Relax, helen.

I don't think it's a rat.

Let me get a picture of it.

Ugh! Up close, that thing is creepy.

That's you.

Oh.

You know what, guys? This place is perfect.

Let's fast-track it.

I bet we can break ground in a week.

- All right.
- I can't believe it.

I'm almost there. Almost--

Do not call my mother.

All right, we're here to make sure the new sampson skate gear is % safe.

I'll tell you what's not safe--

this guy.

So get on your boards and drop in.

Okay. Yeah.

I don't know how to drop in!

Yeah, you do.

They could be our girlfriends, man.

Okay, all right.

- You ready?
- Hoo!

Whoa!

You guys did great.

How'd those pads feel?

Not bad.

You're pretty.

What happened to you guys?

Girls. Girls happened.

This is awesome! Because of you,

seaford is getting their own skatepark.

Sweet! This is the happiest moment of my life,

at least until I marry Kim Crawford.

Okay, settle down, Randy.

You got it, mrs. Plotzsky.

Kim, what's in your backpack?

Aww. It's the little guy from the skatepark site!

How did you get in here?

Were you in my backy-packy?

Yes, you were. Yes, you were!

Why do girls always talk like that to animals?

Just 'cause he's a...

fluffy little man.

Yes. Yes, you are.

You're a fluffy little man! Yes, you are.

what? He's a fluffy little man.

I actually did a little research.

It's commonly known as the striped beach vole.

Interesting fact: They're very territorial

and liveive miles from any of their kind.

Five miles?

What do they do for... girlfriends?

They have a piercing mating call.

It sounds something like this.

Br-r-r-roo hoo br-r-r-roo hoo!

- Br-r-r-roo hoo!
- Whoa whoa oa.

Look at the way he's looking at you.

Milton's got game.

It's a pretty good turnout, huh?

Yeah, I should probably say a few words.

Citizens of seaford,

I will now say a few words.

This park is the result of one man.

- luke, luke, luke, luke!
- No, I was talking about me.

I was the one who called him. I did everything.

This park shan't be for a selectew,

but 'tis for each and every one of you.

So we're all going to the ground-breaking party?

No! And if you get anywhere near the v.I.P. Tent,

security will tase you out of your shoes, bro.

Thank you.

- Yo yo, what's up, seaford!
- Luke, luke, luke!

Excuse me, luke. I, uh-- I need to say something.

I hate to ruin the celebration, everybody,

but we can't build a skatepark here.

What?

Well, why not, Kim?

Because this site is home to the rare striped beach vole.

It's a protected species and we can't destroy its home.

Yeah, V.I.P. Party!

Noon the list, Rudy!

She zapped me, bro.

Oh, my bad, Rudy. You are on the list.

Do you know how unpopular this is gonna make us?

Jack, you're overreacting.

I think most people at this school will totally agree with what I--

Mob! Mob! Mob!

Angry, scary mob. Mob!

Pitchforks? Really, Randy?

Isn't that a bit much?

They're not with us.

They're in the agriculture club.


You ruined it for all of us, Kim.

You and your rat.

Look, randy, it's done.

Tomorrow when the wildlife inspector shows up

and sees the vole on the land,

He'll declare it a protected animal sanctuary.

Then no one can ever build on it.

Well, he won't call it a protected animal sanctuary

if the vole isn't there.

Why wouldn't the vole be there?

Because he's gonna try and k*ll it.

Shut up, locker.

So I think I've got a fix for this vole situation.

Can you imagine if I spent a quarter of a million dollars

on a piece of land I couldn't use?

I hear that.

I just spent $ on a scarf,

tried to return it. They wouldn't taket back.

Pfft! Mo' money, mo' problems.

Am I right?

Anyway, I'm really glad we didn't let

this little fly in the ointment derail us, you know?

The important thing is we're friends

and we've reconnected, you know?

What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine.

Hey, luke, can I talk to you for a second?

Sure. Rudy, be right back.

Absolutely. I'm just gonna keep an eye on things around here,

make sure everything keeps running smooth.

Whoa!

I just wanted to say I'm really sorry.

I know it may seem kinda silly, but Kim feels

really strony about-- - Jack, Jack, relax..

There's nothing to say. At the end of the day, Kim's right.

I know you're mad, but--

Wait, did you just say she's right?

Yeah.

It's all cool, because...

I think found a way for everyone to get what they want.

You ready for the final test?

- Uh... - We wanna see how much air you can get on these boards.

So just go off the end of the ramp

and land on that concrete slab.

What? Okay okay, listen.

- I'm not going to--
- Did anyone every tell you

you have a cute smile?

Let's do this. Come on.

Oh, I came as soon as I heard.

I've fought this fight before.

- You have?
- Oh yeah, sister.

Save the whales, I was on the beach.

Save the bald eagle, I was in the treetops.

I'm all about respecting life.

Hold on! Whack-a-mole!

Whoa! That's what we're protecting!

We just have to make sure

that randy and his friends don't get to it

before the inspector sees it tomorrow.

Forget this. I'm out of here.

Who am I kidding? It's Friday night.

I've got nothing else going on.

Jack, we've been through this. I know we disagree,

- But I'm not backing off.
- Well, you don't have to.

I spoke to luke and he had a great idea.

He's agreed to pay to have it relocated

to a preserve in oregon where voles are protected.

I don't know. This is its home.

But luke said it'll have a better home in oregon.

Kim, we all wanted the skatepark.

This is a way to get the park and give e vole a better life.

It's a win-win. Trust me.

- What the-- what?
- That's the sound the vole makes

when it's looking for a mate.

Interesting.

Oh my.

Joan, I wouldn't go over there.

That sounded like a bear.

Oh, that's no bear.

That's lenny from the bowling alley.

That was a k*ller nap.

Yo, so I made up a story about a preserve in oregon.

Jack and his stupid friends

are on their way here to give us the vole.

What aree gonna do with the vole?

Well, after they leave, we're going to get rid of it...

- Oh.
- Permanently.

Right on.

Yo.

Hey,here they are.

Oh, let me see him. Hey there, little guy.

What's going on? Oh wow, he's a cute one.

I can see why you want to protect him.

Hey, but don't worry-- where he's going,

He's not gonna have to worry about anything.

Hold that vole!

Uh, what's going on, Rudy?

I heard everything. The second you guys leave, Luke's gonna k*ll it!

What? You-- lied to me?

You said you were gonna protect it.

you said you were gonna protect it.

I don't care about your ugly rat.

I care about building skateparks

so mindless kids like you will buy my gear.

Now gimme that cage!

Milton, the board!

Luke, I thought you were a loser in high school,

and you're an even bigger loser now.

I did not know the vole.

But that furry little fella burrowed his way into my heart

and would not come out.

I'm going to miss him.

Joan, the vole's not dead.

What?

We're just returning it to its home.

Forget that, I'm outta here.

Oh, who am I kidding? It's Saturday night.

I've got nothing else going on.

Oh. Coming, lenny!

Well, this is it.

You've got nothing to worry about.

This land is protected

and it'll always be your home.

I think it's really cool that you took a stand here, Kim.

Well, sometimes you gotta look out for the little guy.

And each other.

I'm sorry I was so excited by the skatepark

that I let myself get fooled by luke.

You were there when I needed you.

Wasn't Rudy gonna say a few words?

Yeah. Where did he go?

look at me! I made it to the top!

I am the king of the wor-- -

Someone please call my mother.

See,man? I told you we'll get through it.

This is where all our pain pays off.

Hey, why aren't you smiling?

I can't. I broke my face bone.

Wow. That last test really got you, huh?

You guys were the bravest crash-test dummies we've ever had.

So would you guys consider going out with these two brave ?

Sure, let us get our jackets.

Did you hear that?

We're in, bro.

You can't see,but I'm smiling from ear to ear.

- Yes!
- Yeah!
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