01x07 - Go Help Yourself/Barl/Mecha-Muck Wars

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR: One boy...

Yeah!

NARRATOR: One worm.

You know it.

(GRUNTS, GROANS)

(BEEPS)

NARRATOR: These are their adventures.

(ROARS)

(WHOOPING)

Sweet!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

-Whoo!
-All right, yeah. Pretty fun. Future-Worm.

Hey, Fyootch.
How psyched are you to go to bed?

The Sooner we fall asleep,
sooner we can hang out tomorrow!

Hanging out tomorrow rules!

See you in minutes!

(SNORING)

I know I said hanging out tomorrow rules.

And it does!

But there's something
I gotta do. On my own.

Don't want you getting mixed up in it.

I also don't wanna wake you up.

Probably should quit talkin'.

Huh? What? Hey!

Are you going somewhere?
Can I come?

You're dreaming!
Go back to sleep!

Okay! (SNORING)

In case I don't make it back,

you should know, I ate all your bubblegum.

Carpe diem, no regrets.

(SHIVERING)

Bad guys, man,

always buildin' stupid bases
in stupid places.

(GROWLING)

(SCOFFS) These guys.

Are you supposed to be, a welcome wagon?

(MANCHOVY CHUCKLES)
Stand down, Cyber-Yetis.

Our old safecracker the worm
is here, by my request.

Manchovy. Still disgusting, I see.

(GROANING)

Look at that. Got yourself
a new mini-snowman.

Say hello, Mr. .

I'm gonna break your tiny bones!

Pfft, I don't even have bones.

Bring it, sucka!

Now, now. Let's keep this civilized.

(GOBBLING)

Ugh! (RETCHES)

Come on!
What do you want, Fish-Face?

One last job.

It's a simple S.T. and B.B.

Sneak, Take,
and Bring Back.

A four-man operation.

We meet again.

-Drasty worm.
-(CAWS)

Birds.

No way, Manchovy.

It's a one-worm job.

I don't need help.

(SCOFFS) Some things never change.

Alas, I insist they keep an eye on you.

There will be no deviations from the plan.

Or else I'm gonna "deviation" your septum!

Pfft, I don't even
have a septum.

Bring it, sucka!

Worry not, Mr. .

He's going to do exactly as we ask.

Because it would be a shame
if something happened

to his bespectacled
little human playfellow.

(GROWLS)

(ALL LAUGHING)

(SNORING)

(GASPS) Fyootch!
I dreamed you were gone!

Fyootch!
You are gone!

Yo! It's me!

It's you!
From the future.

Future Danny!

Hey, man.
What's new with us?

No time for pillow talk!

See, way back
before Fyootch met you and me,

he double-crossed
an intergalactic crime syndicate.

Ever hear of Manchovy and The Aquarium?

No, but I love regular aquariums!

Me, too!

Anyway, The Aquarium's caught up with him

and now Manchovy's
strong-arming him into a heist.

He's in way over his head.

BOTH: We gotta help him!

BOTH: Jinx.

(TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS)

Oh, I didn't know

"future-worms" could...

-(GRUNTS)
-(GROANING)

(BOTH GROAN)

Told you it's a one-worm job.

(HEROIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS)

(BLOWS)

(HUFFING)

(GRUNTING)

(YELLS)

Oh, yeah.
Still got it.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

Splendid!
My first gem!

Thank you, Future-Worm.

I'm sure the Liz-Wiz won't mind.

You see, there are
gems scattered throughout the universe.

Whoever finds them all...

Snoozers!

Are we done here, yet?

Consider your debt paid.

Now that I have this

I shall never
contact you again nor harm the human boy.

(GASPS) Oh!

Uh...

We're still cool, right?

I mean, I didn't do that.

(FRUSTRATED GROANS)

Deal's off!

Right, Boss.

The next breath you take
is gonna be your last.

Pfft. I don't even have lungs.

Bring it, sucka!

Get him, Cyber-Yetis!

(GROWLING)

All right!

Rescue mission, go!

Yeah!

What're you doing?

I didn't need rescuing!

Dude, how come you ditched me?

(STUTTERS) It's, uh...

Look... instead...

I can handle myself, all right?

(GRUNTS) Fish-kick.

See what I mean?

(GRUNTS, GROANS)

Fyootch!

This rescue's gonna need a rescue.

I've b*at oddsier odds than this, boy.

(GRUNTING)

Oh, man.

Wait. This looks like a job for...

Robo-Carp!

Take down those Robo-Yetis!

Acquiring target.

Preparing to destroy...

(GRUNTING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

(ALL GASP)

Double weak.

(COUGHING)

Typical Danny tryin' to help
when I don't need helpin'.

When your friend vanishes,
you don't go chasin' after him to help.

And you especially
don't bring your future self.

(GROANS) Better go mop this mess up.

-But first...
-(DEVICE BEEPS)

Yo, General Couponocus,

uh, I got this coupon

for ten free boxes of weapons.

Whoa! Oh, my goodness.

You are one lucky redeemer, son.

Only three days before it expires, too.

The Intergalactic Consortium
of Couponery thanks you!

(GRUNTS)

Uh-oh!

All right, you're not still sore

about gettin' knocked around, are you?

Hey! Put 'em back.

This wormhole's closed.

It's okay, Couponocus.

Take a break.

(GRUNTS)

Can I offer you birds a stick of dynamite?

(EXPLODES)

Ooh! Guess not. (GRUNTS)

(SPITS) Time to jitterbug.

(GRUNTING)

Hey! Watch it!

Get a... Come on!

-(SQUAWKS)
-(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTING)

(SQUAWKING)

Watch it!

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYS)

NARRATOR: Future-Worm!

(IN FLAT-TONE) How's it goin', Gusano?

Mind your own business, old man.

(GRUNTING, GROANING)

You want to fight, legless?

Well, I sure ain't gonna show you my legs.

(SPITS) 'Cause I ain't got any.

(GRUNTING)

(PAINED SQUAWK)

Yeah, it hurts, doesn't it? (CHUCKLES)

-(GRUNTS)
-(GASPS)

(BOTH GROANING)

(GASPS)

I just remembered
we left the birdfeeder open.

We wouldn't want
a space squirrel getting in and, uh...

-(BIRD SQUAWKS)
-And don't come back!

Hey, I had it under control.

Yeah, I saw.

Just like you had it
under control up there with little Danny.

I didn't ask him for his help.

You think you're protectin' him
by not asking for help,

but know what you're really protecting?

Your own pride.

No way!
I rule at being humble!

Yeah, but you sure
don't rule at seeing the big picture.

Best friends
don't need to be asked, they just help.

(GRUMBLING)

Why, Future-Worm,

I dare say
you just taught you a lesson about you.

-(LAUGHING)
-b*at it, Coup!

All right. So I guess
I'm gonna need your...

Can you help me out here, man?

Thought you'd never ask.

You see, every worm's journey

begins with one single wiggle.

Well, come on.

More flour!
More canola oil!

You're about to become my favorite meal.

People and chips.

Enjoy your dip. (LAUGHS)

Right, Boss?
You got that?

Oh, how about this one?

-Tar-tar for now.
-(LAUGHS)

No!

There's so much I still wanna do!

Eh, I pretty much covered everything!

(SCREAMING)

-Future-Worm!
-(GASPS)

(SPITS) You know it.

Future-Future-Worm!

(SPITS) Namaste.

Yeah!

-Ugh!
-You got it, Boss.

Bring it, sucka!

-(GRUNTS)
-(MR. SCREAMS)

You cannot defeat me!

Not by myself.

(PANTS AND GRUNTS)

-(GRUNTING)
-(GROANING)

-(GRUNTS)
-(GROANS)

(ROARING)

-FUTURE-WORM: (GRUNTS) Yah!
-(GROANS) Ah!

Promise you'll leave me
and Danny alone forever.

Promise!

(SOBS) You have my word!

Please...

(GRUNTS)

Snowball fight!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Danny, lil' help!

Thought you'd never ask.

(GRUNTS)

(SCREAMS)

Oh!

I meant to throw him out the window.

I promise!

I think our work here is done.

Yeah! We did it!

Mmm-hmm. Yep.

Sorry, boys.
My fins were crossed.

Promise broken.

I'm afraid this Manchovy
is goin' fishin'. Fly fishin'.

(LAUGHS)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)

(RUMBLING)

This place is comin' apart! Let's go!

-Let's go!
-Let's get out of here.

Sorry I bailed on you this morning, Kid.

It's cool. You were lookin' out for me.

But being buds is a two-way street.

Sometimes you need looking-out for, too.

Next time, make sure you remind me
I learned a lesson today or whatever.

(SNIFFS)

My tail smells like manchovies!

(SCREAMS)

NARRATOR: Future-Worm!

Woo!

The year , !

Low-gravity bouncy town!

It's the greatest day of my life!

Woah! Going up, going up!
And coming down!

Hit me with a super bounce!

Super bounce! Boing!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(SCREAMS)

Whoo!

(SCREAMS)

Huh?

(ALARM BLARING)

Barl!

(SCREAMS, GRUNTS)

No Barl. No, no.

Aw, man!
You busted the lunch box!

Forget the lunch box.

(YELLS) It's Barl!

The most annoying creature
in all space-time.

Run!

Squirmy!

(BOTH SCREAMING IN HORROR)

Hey!

Mmm. Ranch.

Gulp. Gulp. Gulp.

BOTH: Ugh!

Yeah!

(RETCHING)

Come on, Squirmy!
Give us a cuddle.

Aw, he just wants a little hug!

(STRAINS) Don't encourage him.
He'll never leave us alone!

Looks like you broke
your time machine breakfast sack.

Need a lift through the time tunnel?

-Yes! Huh?
-No!

Thought so.

-(BEEPS)
-Hop in, friends!

Whoa!
Is that a time machine?

Yup. It's the Barl .

I built it with my own arms.

And brain.

Great. Why don't you
get in and drive it and your annoying self

-straight into a flaming...
-Chill, man!

Only he can fix our lunch box.

Let's just roll with him
and if he's annoying as you say,

we'll bail at the first rest stop.

Mmm!

Oh, yeah!

Oh! You're gonna regret this, D.

So then I say...
I look right at him

and I say it like this, "Gnarly"?

More like Barly. (LAUGHS)

(BOTH LAUGH)

You hear that, Fyootch?

What? No.

I'm too busy being suffocated
by rotten ranch stank.

Is it getting too stuffy, Squirms?

Let me roll down a window for you.

(GASPS) What the...

-(SQUEAKS)
-(SCREAMS)

Oh, that's just one of the many sprites
who live in my head nest.

Woah! Neat-o!

It's burrowing into my skull!

Ugh! (GRUNTS)

(SCREAMS)

-Mmm.
-(RETCHING)

Ranch.

Okay, Barl's distracted.

We can ditch him
and grab a lift with that Time Trucker.

(BURPS)

Ew, man, no way!

Plus, Barl's not half as bad

-as you keep saying.
-What?

He's twice as half as bad
as I keep saying. (GASPS)

Something's been bothering me
about you, Squirmy.

(SNIFFS)

Aha! I don't recognize your smell anymore!

Here, let me mark you.

Just gonna do this.

Ugh, come on, man!

Ranch dressing?

(LAUGHS) Dude, you're gonna
laugh at this later, trust me.

Gross! Got in my mouth.

I mark all the things I like.

Oh... Mmm...

(CHUCKLES) You gotta admit,
Barl's kinda funny!

You kidding me?

He marked me like a cat peeing on a rug!

Uh-oh!
Squirmy's favorite song just came on!

(SINGING)
cans of Barl's ranch on the wall

cans of Barl's ranch!

One fell, oh well,

cans of Barl's ranch on the wall!

(HORN BLARING)

Oh, shucks, what now?

-What's their problem?
-(TIRES SCREECH)

I'm going slower than
the speed limit and everything.

Yo! Outta the way, mate!

Move it or get wrecked!

-(TRUCK HORN BLARES)
-You nuts?

Those are Iron Bar Time Punks!

Quit hogging the road
or they'll ram us off into limbo!

I gotta agree with Fyootch.

Maybe scooch over a little.

(SHOUTING)

If you ask me, they need to chill.

And I lead by example.

So everybody stay calm.

Calm...

Iron Bar Time Punks!

(LAUGHS EVILLY)

Yeah, that ain't happening.

(ALL SCREAMING)

(VIDEO GAME MUSIC)

(ALL SCREAMING)

-We hit something.
-Oh, no! What did we hit?

Oh, great!

(GASPS) Oh, no!
We smashed a time deer!

Sorry about that, little friendly.

Let's load the body in the car

so I can give it
a proper time burial later.

No way! Why would you...
I ain't ridin' with that!

Stupid Barl!

(SINGING)
cans of Barls' ranch on the wall

cans of Barls' ranch!

Finally. Let's slap these
replacement parts on and bounce!

(BOTH GASP)

Got you surrounded.

Stop surrounding me!

I'm claustrophobic!

The Iron Bar runs the tunnel, grode!

Dude! We gotta help Barl!

Why would we help Barl?

Guy's been nothing
but a pain in our butts.

What? More like saved our butts.

(LAUGHING)

You're really just gonna
sit here and let him get time-punked?

Barl went out of his way
to help us, Fyootch!

Ugh! Crud.

We better help him.
Super bounce me over there.

(SPITS) You know it!

Heh, that's fun to do.

Yeah, I know, right?

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(GRUNTS) Ow!

(LAUGHING)

Say goodbye, little worm.

Ha-ha! Fire!

(SHOUTING)

-No!
-Barl!

Oh, no!
We didn't mean to do that!

(SOBBING)

DANNY: Barl...
What have we done?

(CRYING) We didn't mean to k*ll you, mate.

-(SQUEAKS)
-Oh, Barl. (CRYS)

(GASPS)

Guess who has
the awesome ability to regenerate?

Barl! That's me! (LAUGHS)

-He's alive!
-Barl!

He's alive.
We're off the hook.

(SINGING) Barl is alive
Barl is alive!

(ALL SINGING) Barl is alive
Barl is alive!

Hurray!
I'm marking my friends!

What about me?
Mark me! Mark me!

Here you go!

-Huh? How do you like the ranch shower?
-(LAUGHS) That tickles.

(LAUGHING) I love it.

Oh, brother. Come on!

But, hey, uh, thanks for, you know,
helping out or whatever you call it.

Yeah, thanks, Barl!
You rule, man.

You can come back anytime!

Yeah... Okay.
Just, you know, take off.

Oh, you know it, girl.

I'll be back to hang with my pal, Squirmy,
and my new friend, Science!

Sounds great!

Um, hey, what happened to the time deer?

Hmm, guess he didn't die. Bye!

-(MUSIC CHIMES)
-Ow!

Oh, man!
Stupid Time Deer!

Ow! Dang it!

-Stupid Barl!
-Aw, Fyootch!

NARRATOR: Future-Worm!

(DISEMBODIED VOICE) Mama, mama!

(VOCALIZING)

FUTURE-WORM: It's the year
and these are the mega muck wars.

Humanity's only hope is this gutsy band
of freedom fighters right here.

Scrappy Stone, martial arts expert.

Sanchez. Chin-up and demolition expert.

You get it.

Private Lou Kreiger.
Cocky hotshot kid.

(SCREAMING) I hate plans!

FUTURE-WORM: Astrophysicist and super-cool
scientist, Neil Degrasse Tyson.

During our next mission, remember to take
a moment and look up to the night sky.

Look out!

FUTURE-WORM: And just who is
crazy enough to lead

this crappy ragtag bunch
of rebels, you ask?

You know it! (SPITS)

-Me!
-(REBELS SHOUTING)

These are the Mega Muck Wars!
(STUTTERS) or ' .

Oh, yeah! Huh. !

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think that sets it up pretty good.

All right, listen up!
Time for Operation Sneak-in-quietly.

Once in, we disable
the mega muck hive brain

and we're out. w*r over!

I vote for the "storming the gates
g*ns ablazing take no prisoner" approach!

Love your cocky hotshot spirit there, kid.

But did you look outside? There's a whole
mess of mega muckers mucking about!

(SCOFFS) The more, the messier.

I've been where you're at,
Krieger. (GRUNTS)

Listen, I love that "sh**t first,
ask questions later," too

I really do.
But you go out there like that

we'd be mucked quicker
than a two-headed toad in September!

TOM: He's right, kid.
And I should know.

I was once one of them.

Er... Half of one, at least!

What the dang are you?

Future-Worm, he's a reprogramed half-man,
half mega-muck.

His name's Tom and he's on our side.

(GRUNTS) I don't trust him.

(SCREAMS)

Hey, he's the one that got us
the palace blueprints.

All right.

But I got my visor on you.

Back to that brilliant plan of mine!

Nuts to the plan!

-(SCREAMS)
-Krieger, no!

(YELLING)

-Krieger!
-By Pluto's moons. Let him go, Fyootch!

We can't lose you, too.

Carzy hotshot kid.

Maybe he's got a chance, I don't know.

(YELLING)

-(ALL GASP)
-(GRUNTS)

No! No! No!

-Krieger!
-Help me!

Help me, Future-Worm!

Hey! I know everyone's
bummed out right now.

But do me a favor.
Look up into the heavens.

See that?

A sh**ting star!

It's actually not a star

but a small rapidly moving meteor.

Burning up as it enters
Earth's atmosphere.

Can we still make a wish?

What would Lou Kreiger want?

Once again, thanks,
NDT for inspiring the team! (SPITS)

Now let's go save Private Krieger!

(ALL YELLING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)