[Music]
come on ball play some D hey how was
practice great we came up with a name
for Tina's basketball team I want to
call it the big ball really because I
plays a big ball we went with two
Raptors whatever I like big ball yeah
well and no fun when you're horseback
riding you know I'm really glad I got
dragged into coach and Tina's basketball
team it's been great spending a little
extra timeless is she's growing up so
fast you don't wanna look back and feel
you missed out our first game is on
Saturday yeah I'm gonna miss that really
have to go i just bought the NBA sports
package i'm not wasting my Saturday's
watching a bunch of midgets run circles
made that mistake once without lord of
the rings were with
I miss the whole NBA season it's only
for six weeks aren't your children worse
at least that way
[Applause]
[Music]
[Music]
[Applause]
Lord Jesus gettin better hey you said
we're going to see Jordan play yeah
there she is Tina's friend Jordan you
specifically said Michael Jordan oh yeah
that was a lie hey check out the other
teams coach Ted Halverson that pompous
jerk some people shouldn't have children
that's a little harsh I'm at me so I
wouldn't have to be here looking at Ted
house I'm going across the street to buy
a beer bring a beer in here can if it's
in my stomach how Arsene Miller mrs.
Halvorsen Miller spending a Saturday
supporting your kids activities what
happened sulfur b*rned down don't even
joke about I just happen to be here to
watch Tina's team kick your teams but
yeah well it's not about winning it's
about having fun ah smoking like a loser
from Loserville Louisiana thank your ex
for losers bill we're not going to get
his tales of oil has not as competitive
now that he's using the techniques he
learned in anger management is the only
way the league would give me one more
sh*t at coaching disagree with a call
last year and I may have overreacted a
little bit tipped over a few trash cans
and a minivan and while I did apologize
and paper the damage my video tape did
prove that the rep was wrong about that
call suppose of pretty flowers
reach in your pocket and rub your worry
stone
children here it's a relaxation tool I
agree but still there are children mommy
when can i play I'll push you in the
fifth quarter when is that that's when
you get the court all Cheers Judy's a
great coach the Raptors and tear in
those twinkle fairies a new twinkle no
I'm gonna lose a bundle keep that on the
game and got some action going number
twelves brother Zack and I got a tip on
the next game the Red Devil Center
forgot to take her Ridland hey third
quarter he Halverson do i hear a vacuum
cleaner or is that just the sound of
your team sucking Miller you could take
your attitude and you can shove head
field of clover everyone's a winner when
they try their best Judy's team is very
good all that time she spent watching
sports instead of her children is really
paying off it is well I guess this means
the Raptors have a good sh*t at the
regional playoffs haha I sure I'm going
to miss the fix for six weeks of games
well 1x or six weeks that's along the
post season lasts six weeks yeah so much
fun riding on the bus with a kid during
the sing-alongs paying a toenail to team
colors ha ha ha sing-alongs Tony six
weeks ok Miller don't rub it in
I'll play without my shoes because
you're important don't wear what a
good choice we've got to make sure the
Raptors lose and by at least six points
that's the spread Zach gave me know the
Raptors get to the playoffs jubie's
gonna make me go then I can kiss my
whole NBA cable package goodbye and what
the Raptors the loose foot tinea she's
like the Clown Prince of basketball big
it's not your place to make fun of my
lame-o daughter that's that great idea
when Tina gonna play in the car ride
home with her game boy this game's not
just about winning it's about having fun
have you seen Tina play it's not fun
that bad hey Tina heads up
[Music]
Lauren I brought my kitty over to meet
you I thought you and Perry weren't
leaving for Hawaii until next month yeah
well if you're gonna kitty sit boo boo I
wanted to get a chance to know you
because she's very attached over Bobby
isn't she oh honey I let you if you can
meet your cousin Laurie cousin just go
with it she's very sensitive about being
adopted she also sensitive about that
whole costume you made her wear for
halloween we're having a krabby Webbie
day honey you're not gonna come out for
me she's chilly not yet come up no oh
she's so sweet oh she's obviously
disoriented money for example catch you
later get off the phone with the league
reps the Cougars loss which means the
rafters are three wins away from going
to the play oh you gotta be so proud I
heard Ted Halverson lost another player
there was a kitty bake oven accident
she'll be okay she'll never have
fingerprints again you gonna do no it's
gonna have to drop out of the league you
have to have seven girls it's probably
for the best they were never gonna make
the playoff never make the playoffs oh
poor Halverson you know you don't want
to be a nice thing to do give them one
of your players serious well you can
spare one and then the twinkle fairies
could at least play out this season
here's a thought given Tina what I
treating my own daughter but you barely
put her in the game
that's why you should give it a
Halverson she'll probably get to play
more and you won't feel bad for benching
all the time and don't worry I'll go to
all the rest of Tina's games however
many are left 3 right and you can just
focus on coaching your team well you
know the decision should really be up to
her Gina I accidentally ate a box of
cookies honey the twinkle fairies
assured a couple of players and I was
wondering if you've considered joining
him so they could finish out the season
it would be a really nice thing to do so
i have to leave mommy's team oh not if
you don't want to baby i understand if
you'd be uncomfortable being away from
mommy they get cupcakes after games I'm
it
[Applause]
[Music]
Tina let's check it to those losers in a
healthy non-competitive way testing is
really improved since you made her point
guard yeah how the hell that happened
well Judy just had her playing out of
position I found her strength and they
gave her motivation I told her if she
didn't deliver I'd let the evil clown
out of sewer he's just kidding right Ted
you bet oh my great aunt Anna Wow if we
play t no more we might have a sh*t to
playoffs what no no you can't do that
why not cuz it's not fair let some of
the other players have a chance it's
like the one with asthma or unicorn girl
here I'm not a unicorn today I'm a
butterfly the thieves stay on the bench
I'm the coach when you're the coach you
can make the calls hatred k did you know
who won the last game Snowbell how much
oh come on think ah eight point people
I'm gonna have to go away
someone family could I love them foul on
purple number seven what are you crazy
I'm sir I politely disagree with that
call she pushed the other play dad I
guess I guess that call was totally
bogus don't wuss out now Alison take the
callback wrath sir step back make him
yeah make me are you threatening me he's
not threatening you clover dead clover
yes you are what do you say about your
mama okay that's it you and me out in
the parking lot right now I hope you
brought a poncho cuz I'm gonna rain down
to hurt my friend get this jerk off by
toward it's not your court it belongs to
the children so innocent children you
better not start your car tonight Eddie
pretty flowers always peaceful cookies
my money okay I'm the coach now Tina
you're out butterfly girl you're in even
better
[Music]
Oh Lord like my heart is it ripped from
my chest so just another day huh Lulu
ran away I have no idea where she my ID
user going crazy is there a cat in here
you know what of a chat my skin is on
fire if there's not a cat and that weird
exchange student really did put a curse
on me what God you stole them no I
didn't I news that saucers milk for me
[Music]
listen I didn't want you to feel bad but
last night she showed up at my bedroom
window crying for me to let her in oh
really ok you expect me to believe that
she jumped out of my bedroom window I
made her way across town in the freezing
rain just to get away from me well you
didn't have a boyfriend who did that hey
how was your game one too bad you didn't
stick around to watch it yeah Tina's
team got slaughtered and those kind of
depressed drop it bill I saw you
provoking Ted's you could be coaching
bench Tina you're trying to loose you
could watch your stupid NBA package
aren't you well you have all the answers
don't you all the answers are you saying
I'm wrong no unbelievable you'd rather
undermine your daughter self-confidence
and crush the spirit of the team
halftime they show NBA bloopers it's
called who swoops
ashamed to yourself now I'm your coach
and Tina's team to win and if I sense
anything less than that i'm signing her
back up for calf dance oh god no I won't
go back to those recycles I won't you
win and this year they're bringing into
noise and the she is the game the
Sphinx first my cat know my husband the
husband peed on your carpet look I don't
want to spend any time with me Perry
just called he can't go to Hawaii he's
got to work I've got an extra ticket no
one to go with him in it did I just hear
the words Hawaii extra ticket no one to
go with those were all the words you the
honeymoon I never have I never had one
anymore all my tobe grade which land the
beach drink mai tais order room service
it'll be the perfect honeymoon no us Oh
the tickets are nonrefundable okay great
the middle of peewee playoff won't make
you won't make the playoffs no they're
really good I taught I'm how to be
pointers to backside like an ocean view
suite in a full spa package okay Raptors
before we play this game remember once a
women isn't everything but if we don't
win this game we won't put in a playoff
hole odd speed cell
okay twinkle fairies make me proud get
out there and win James looking good
coke now thanks playing pretty Halverson
you know the rec department has a
restraining order on you yeah but not on
mr. Jenkins the grumpy old janitor don't
worry I'm not here to make trouble but
don't screw it up Hey ladies I just
mopped over there
[Applause]
yeah these are the other teams for I'm
what's going on you cheered when we
scored and you girls are eating pizza
door in a game a light snack double
cheese pepperoni the elephant
tranquilizer the pizza world you want to
lose oh I'm going to Hawaii with Linda
so you made me be a good coach and now
you're throwing the game that's a very
good point I'm going to think about it
while I'm Sunday been in Hawaii you
don't have to go to the playoffs neither
do i if anyone knows how to be a big
loser it's me oh ah cuz I got a secret
w*apon by point guards dog just d*ed or
at least that's what I'm going to tell
fine out time out spiller that's all we
do it trekking mother to my gym Tina
you're on the bench but I was just about
to score well give someone else a chance
Hannah you're in oh wait wait gimme
those okay Trudy you're in oh by the way
everyone on the team's invited to a
party at Madison's house after the game
except you Emily be a butterfly bu
butterfly filler you call that touching
your own my team get a deserve to be a
twinkle fairy hey call me okay listen
Syd why don't you stop the car tonight
Miller hey
[Music]
Wow rasters no time left on the clock
there were ten get two free throws oh
you do realize she's on your team Joe
you can do it Tina mommy believes in you
are you folks confused about the colors
of the uniforms
[Applause]
[Music]
[Music]
okay crystal fairies win so looks Judy
didn't make the playoffs what are you
gonna do now huh gone to Hawaii how does
me daddy yes honey I am I really am that
was a great sh*t and you know what for
the next six weeks I'm gonna be the best
coach you've ever seen hang on six more
weeks miss more birthday parties uh I
quit with the twitter is that how I
raised you yeah you were listening
that's my girl Gina finally remember you
don't have to lose just don't win by
more than five points wear a wire
[Music]
would you have it any
way cause you mags me
[Music]
04x17 - Still Coaching
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Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.
Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.