03x15 - To Heiress Human

[bunniefuu]

Some walk by night ♪ ♪ some fly by day ♪ ♪ something is sweeter ♪ ♪ 'cause we met on the way ♪ ♪ 'cause we met on the way ♪♪ are you asleep?

No.

Me neither obviously.

Sleep ok?

I wouldn't really call it sleep.

More like a toe straightening break.

You sound like you enjoyed yourself last night.

I seem to recall you hitting high c yourself a couple times.

How are we gonna do this, david?

Do what?

How are we gonna do this?

You've done this before, haven't you?

You take a cab home and wait for me to call.

Can't do that.

I got an idea.

We do what john and yoko did

- Everything from bed.

We'll meet clients here, solve cases.

What do you think?

I think I'd like you to turn that way.

What for?

I want to take a shower.

You don't want me to look at you?

You've got nothing to be shy about.

Guess I'll have to fend for myself.

Hey! Ho! Hey! Sorry.

Yo! Should I put some coffee on?

I don't have time.

I have to run right out.

Any chance of you dropping me by my place?

Your place?

Can't you take a cab?

A cab?

Forget about it.

I'll just call my pimp.

He'll pick me up on the corner.

I didn't mean it that way, david.

I just remembered I have an appointment.

If I take you home, I'll be late.

Yeah well, forget about it.

No problem.

Good morning, miss dipesto.

Morning, miss hayes.

Miss hayes yes?

Oh what is it, miss dipesto?

I don't know what it is, but you look great today.

No, I don't.

I'll be in my office.

Yes, miss hayes.

Sorry about the compliment.

♪ Woke up this morning my head was so bad ♪ ♪ it was the worst hangover that I ever did have ♪ what's up, boys?

♪ It was no wine I had me too much of ♪ ♪ it was a double sh*t of my baby's love ♪ ♪ yeah, yeah♪ david?

David! Could I have a minute of your time, please?

Take two, they're small.

What were you doing out there just now?

Pretending like I just got to work.

You were singing.

So?

So, how's it supposed to look to those people when you come in here singing?

Same way it looks every other day when I come in here singing.

But it's not every other day.

It's the day after last night.

They don't know that.

And I want to keep it that way.

It's gonna be hard to do that if you don't stop acting so damn happy.

Ha! So damn happy?

I'm not acting all that damn happy.

I'm just acting happy.

Aren't you happy?

Of course I'm happy.

Are you sure?

I said I was happy, david.

I am happy! Don't tell me I'm not happy when I'm happy.

Well great! You're happy, I'm happy, we're all slap happy.

So what's the problem?

I don't know.

Maybe I'm not all that happy.

It's not that I'm not happy.

It's just that I'm not happy.

I don't know how I feel.

Take it from me, you feel great.

Don't

-Don't do that.

Don't do what?

Don't say things like that in the office.

But I always say things like that in the office.

It's what I do.

Look, I agree.

Maybe we should wait a little while before we spring it on the employees.

We're not springing anything on the employees.

You're right.

If they knew, they'd think we'd be rocking the desk every time we're alone in here.

Does the lock on your door work?

Stop it.

Stop what?

Stop talking like that.

Stop thinking like that.

I hate this, david.

I hate feeling uncomfortable and wondering what the employees might be thinking and cringing every time you make a suggestive remark.

So don't do it.

Thank you.

As usual, the depth of your sensitivity is staggering.

Come on, maddie.

Look, I know you feel a little weird, I feel a little weird myself.

But it's a good weird.

So what if it takes a little time?

We'll work it out.

I don't wanna work it out.

What do you mean?

I mean I don't wanna work it all out.

I want to forget it.

What?

David, last night was a mistake.

I don't know what happened.

I got all caught up in the moment, and everything happened before I had time to think about it.

Ok.

Ok, I'll buy that.

You lost your head, not responsible for your actions.

I'll buy that the first time.

But that doesn't explain the second time.

Well, the second time I couldn't think straight because I was still shocked from the first time.

Really?

Well, what about the third time?

Third time?

What third time?

Come to think of it, you were pretty quiet.

I figured you were just worried about waking the neighbors.

David, stop this! I can't do this, I can't live like this, I can't work like this.

I can't! Let's make a pact.

A what?

A pact that last night never happened.

What for?

Because it never should have happened.

It wasn't meant to happen.

It makes everything wrong.

David, the two of us are the only two people that know what happened.

If we agree it didn't happen, then it didn't happen.

But it did.

But we'll make a pact that it didn't.

No, it did.

And I like that it did.

And I got a hot news flash for you, babe, so did you.

Yes, I did.

Did, david.

Past tense.

But not anymore.

Not now.

Now I feel terrible.

That's why we have to make this pact.

Pact, schmact.

It happened.

We did it.

It's done.

Well done, I might add, over and over again.

I don't want to make no pact.

Of course that's all that matters.

What you want.

David, do you even remember what you said to me last night?

Yes, I remember what I said last night.

I meant it.

Well, if you really meant it, you'll make this pact.

Come in.

There's a woman here to see you.

I can tell her to come back if it's a bad time.

No, no.

It's a fine time.

Send her in.

I'm sorry to show up without an appointment.

Oh, it's a perfect time.

Please have a seat miss kendall margaret.

How may we help you, miss kendall?

An amazing thing has happened.

I've fallen in love with a wonderful man.

And he's fallen in love with me.

I never dreamed that anything like this could happen.

I've never been very, um, adept at attracting men's attention.

I mean, I'm not very pretty, and on top of that, I'm rather shy.

So, um, I guess I'd accepted that I would spend my life in my father's house, um, try to be happy in other people's romances and then, one night I met the most beautiful man.

To my surprise, he came to see me the next day and the next, and we've been together ever since.

And the amazing thing is how easy and natural it all was right from the start.

He's asked me to marry him.

Congratulations.

It's the best problem I've heard all week.

Well, my father, he, um, he thinks, um well, you see, my father's very wealthy.

He's a doctor.

He works at saint matthews medical center.

Actually, he owns it.

Owns it?

Yes actually, he owns several hospitals father's worked very hard all his life and he likes people who work hard, too.

Anyway, I guess I'm very wealthy.

I guess that's his concern.

I think he thinks that's why robert wants to marry me.

Father's very protective.

My, um, my mother d*ed a long time ago, and I'm his only child, and he doesn't want me to marry, uh inappropriately.

Robert's a bartender.

It's a free country, miss kendall.

You're over 18.

No, you don't understand.

I've never contradicted my father.

I couldn't do that.

Besides, he's just trying to protect me.

Well, the thing is, I think if my father had some sort of objective proof that robert loves me, then he would agree to the marriage.

Objective proof?

That's why I want to hire you.

I want you to prove that robert loves me.

Uh

-Huh.

And how long has he worked there?

No, that should do it, it's a small loan.

We're just confirming the application.

Thank you.

You've been very helpful.

Thought I heard a knock.

Mind if I come in?

Mind?

Not at all, partner.

Come on in.

Made a few calls about robert murphy.

Did some checking up.

Do tell.

Thought we could compare notes.

Great idea, if I had any notes to compare.

Truth is

- I've been one with this chair for the better part of the morn.

I tried to work up the steam to go out and snoop around, but did you ever have one of those days where everything from the night before catches up with you?

Not that I went anywhere, or saw anyone.

In fact there's not a soul that can say I wasn't exactly where I said I was.

The old homestead, all by my lonesome, filling the salt shakers, re

-Grouting my tile, discovering the real reason cleaning women don't do windows.

What did you do last night, partner?

Anything you want to share with the class?

Maybe I should come back later.

No time like the present.

You've been keeping your nose, or anything else, to the grindstone to dig up some dirt, let's hear what you got.

David let's hear what you got.

Fine.

Here's what I got.

Robert murphy: twice divorced, each marriage lasting less than a year, never finished college, he's held a couple of jobs since then, bartender shows up a few times on his resume.

That's what he's been doing since december at a place called george and harry's bar.

Before that he was unemployed for almost no history of bad checks, but his credit cards are at the limit.

I have some other calls out.

I should have some more facts by this afternoon.

More facts?

It's quite a mouthful you have there, isn't it?

I don't know.

Doesn't look good.

What do you think?

About what?

About the irishman marrying into clover.

I don't think anything yet.

All those facts and nothing to go on?

Well, it's a place to start.

Ha ha ha.

Start?

You're out of the blocks, nearing the tape, the crowd's on its feet, you just don't want to cross the finish line.

Ok.

You tell me, what should I think?

Those fact of yours paint quite a picture.

Like what?

The cat and the gilded canary?

The bloodsucker getting the blood bank?

The have

-Nots taking the have for better or for worse, but especially for better?

Two people with one thing in common, and it sure ain't love?

You could say that.

Sure as hell could.

I take it that's your opinion.

My opinion?

No.

My opinion says that your facts don't mean a damn thing when it gets down to the ying and yang of why two people want to be together.

You take your romeo and juliet

- Now here's a couple kids who wanted to be together.

Tripped over a few facts on the way to the altar, wound up in a mausoleum built for two, which, I guess is my way of saying that I'll coast over to george and harry's, quaff a few cold ones with mr.

Murphy, and get the real skinny.

Which comes from a region just south of the brain.

When I come back, we'll compare facts.

Oh, mr.

Addison?

This is mr kendall.

Oh, miss hayes?

This is mr.

Kendall.

Mr.

Kendall?

The father of the bride.

Oh, of course.

Won't you come in?

Have a seat, mr.

Kendall.

I like to stand, thank you.

How can we help you?

I believe my daughter has hired you to investigate the man she intends to marry.

Mr.

Kendall, I appreciate your concern about your daughter, but we can't discuss our clients with you or anyone else.

All cases are confidential.

Of course they are.

I admire your professionalism.

And in that spirit, I'd like to hire you myself.

Hire us.

For what?

To look into mr.

Murphy's past.

To find what you can about his work habits, reliability, and his dealings with other women mr.

Kendall, it won't be necessary to hire you for a job you're already doing.

There is a difference, miss hayes.

I intend to ensure the outcome.

I don't understand.

On the off

-Chance that your investigation lacks the funding it may require, I thought perhaps $10,000 might facilitate your efforts to turn up adequate evidence.

You're bribing us to falsify our investigations to turn your daughter against her fiancee?

In a nutshell.

You'll have to leave, mr.

Kendall.

Hear me out, miss hayes.

I have to do this.

For my daughter.

Margaret is spontaneous.

She's ruled by her emotions, she pays little, if any, attention to life's warning signs.

And as such, she has almost no sense of the practical effect of her decisions.

In plain truth I don't believe she'll be dissuaded by the facts.

I have to tell you, mr.

Kendall, that she seems to be very much in love with him.

I suppose if I were a young woman, a fairly plain, young woman, never having been sought after, I might love him, too.

He's handsome.

He's charming.

He makes her happy.

That's important.

Life isn't often about happiness, miss hayes.

It's about realities.

Control the realities, and then, maybe, you can try for the rest.

And the reality here is that robert murphy wants one thing and one thing only

- My money! I'm sorry, mr.

Kendall.

I have an obligation to our client.

Then our business is finished.

I think it's time for a nice, tall, cold one.

Didn't you used to work at saloon's?

Nope.

Man, I could swear I've seen you somewhere.

Blue onion?

Did you used to work there?

I used to go in there all the time.

Yeah, I did a hitch over there.

Murph, right?

That's right.

Dave.

Hi, dave.

Irish, neat, water back.

Sorry, I forgot.

Oh, doesn't matter.

I haven't been to the blue onion for a long time.

That's joint's a real meat market, isn't it?

Yeah, it used to be.

I hear it's calmed down a lot.

I used to slide in there on friday nights, wall to wall bodies.

Grade a, prime cut, I mean I thought I d*ed and went to heaven.

I imagine you must have a few cocktail napkins with some pretty interesting numbers on them?

It's not my local.

That's why I left.

Couldn't keep your mind off the clientele, huh?

Look, don't get me wrong, I don't have a prejudiced bone in my body, and they're the nicest people in the world, great tippers, too, which is why I stayed after the management changed, but I could never get used to watching you guys dance with each other.

Yeah.

Well, that does take some getting used to, doesn't it?

Yeah, I mean, it's a lush life, man, whatever gets you through the night.

See you later, murph.

Sheila, see you later.

Here's to women.

Each and every long legged one of 'em.

How does the good lord expect you to pick only one when there's so many to choose from?

I don't know.

I think there's something to be said for waiting for the right person to come along.

Spoken like a man who didor has.

Yeah, could be.

Perfect woman, huh?

Intelligent but not bookish, knocked out body, and a big fat juicy trust fund to match.

None of that matters, believe me.

I've been with a lot of women.

I've partied with them, I've lived with them, and I even married a couple of 'em.

But not one's ever been a friend.

'Till now.

What is this, a survey?

So where did you meet this jewel in the crown of womanhood?

Traffic school.

Ha ha.

It was on a coffee break.

She didn't have any change, so I spotted her a crueller.

And then I came back the next night, even though I graduated the night before just to talk to her.

Gonna make an honest woman out of her?

You're an inquisitive one.

Come on, it just sounds like love.

That's all.

Boy meets girl, fall in love, they usually get married.

At least, that's the way I hear.

Well, we've got some problems to iron out.

She got cold feet?

Real cold.

Oh, not about marrying me.

No, it's, uh it's her family.

I mean, it's the kind of family that has libraries named after 'em.

Plus my folks I took her home and my old man put on his best undershirt just for the occasion.

Anyway, it's a problem.

We'll get past it.

See, I just don't want her to think that me and her are some kind of accident should never have happened.

Excuse me.

George and harry's.

Look, I can't talk right now.

All right.

Bye

-Bye.

Hey, smitty, cover for me, would ya?

I gotta split.

Sure, no problem.

You're a good listener, man.

You ought to be a bartender.

Thanks.

Good night, mr.

Addison.

Good night, mr.

Addison.

Good night.

'Night, boss.

Mr.

Addison, I didn't know you were back.

Here's some more background info on the kendall case.

Miss hayes around?

She went home early.

Said she didn't get much sleep lastnight.

Her neighbor's pomeranian kept her up.

Yip, yip, yip all night long.

Maybe sam snores.

Sam's gone.

He is?

That's terrific.

Isn't it?

Yeah, it's terrific.

So, I guess things will go back to normal between you and miss hayes.

You know what the problem is with this case?

These people want to be together.

These people should be together.

So what's the problem?

You're right, miss dipesto.

There is no problem.

Oh well, 'night, mr.

Addison.

Yes, margaret kendall, please.

What?

Father was in the guest cottage, reading, like he does every night, and I came home from the stables the same time as every night.

And I went out to say hello to him and robert came up in the conversation like he does every night.

I can't even tell you what father said that was any different, any worse than before.

I just, um lashed out, mr.

Addison.

I hit him.

There have been so many times I've wanted to, and this time he fell and hit his head.

He was just lying there, unconscious.

I don't know what came over me.

I hardly even remember doing it, but I did.

I just turned the gas on, on the oven, and walked out the door.

I was in the house when I heard it.

I don't remember where, exactly, or what I was doing, but it was quite an expl*si*n.

She done dood it.

She did?

Dood?

Damn! You didn't have to come down here you know.

I could have taken a cab.

Don't be stupid, david.

You called, I came.

I called to tell you what was going on.

Not to get you out here in the middle of the night.

David, I came down here because I wanted to come down here.

I thought miss kendall might need my help.

She's my client, too.

Ok.

Long as that's why you came.

That's why I came.

You're comfortable, I'm comfortable.

I'm very comfortable.

I just don't want you to think I was trying to get you out here in the middle of the night.

I mean, given what happened in the middle of last night, and how you felt about it this morning.

I mean, personally, I don't feel that way, but I know you do, so, I just didn't want you to think that I was pulling something.

I don't think you're pulling something.

I don't think you're pulling anything.

Not that I'd mind pulling something.

Quit while you're ahead.

We're here.

Well well.

David, don't think I don't know.

What?

Don't think I don't know how unfair this all seems to you.

My point of view of everything that's happened

- The pact, all of it

- I do know.

But I also feel that it's right.

We've done the right thing.

We're doing the right thing.

And I just want you to know how much I appreciate your respect for my feelings.

Yeah, well.

And I really do appreciate it.

And you know what the proof of this is?

The proof that all of this, the pact, our business relationship, our friendship will work, the proof of it is that here we are, it's 2:30 in the morning, we're sitting in a car, by ourselves, all alone on a dark street, and what are we doing?

We're talking.

We're having a conversation, and that's all we're doing.

I like this, david.

It makes me feel comfortable.

I appreciate this, and I just wanted you to know that.

Well, ok.

Good.

I have to be

- Look, I gotta be honest with you.

I'm not having an easy time with this.

I know.

I mean, I hear what you're saying, and I know you mean it, and I know that it makes you feel comfortable.

Yes, it does.

I'm just not quite there yet.

It takes time.

There's a big part of me that can't help wanting to find that spot on your neck.

It's very understandable

- What spot on my neck?

You know that little spot on the back of your neck just below your hairline?

Oh, yeah.

There.

Kind of brush my lips against it.

Not hard or anything.

No, no, I understand.

And maybe unbutton your blouse.

David button by button.

Ohh I think this conversation's taking a turn.

Then maybe some little baby kisses down your spine.

This is hard for you.

Yeah.

Which underscores my point and my appreciation.

Then, I don't know, maybe some little ángel kisses on your belly.

Mmm, which is why we have the pact.

Which is why we have the pact.

Well well david! David! David! I think we need a new pact.

What?

A new pact.

I think we need one.

What we just did invalidates the old one.

Wouldn't you agree?

Why are you looking at me like that?

I'm just saying that before this goes any further, now would be a good time to put a stop to this.

Make a new pact I hate this pact crap.

I'm not doing this to hurt you, I'm doing this

- Because you're nuts.

That's why you're doing this.

That's not a productive thing to say, after we just made love, just before we're going to make a new pact.

I just figured it out.

Figured what out?

Why you're 36 years old and still by yourself.

What's that supposed to mean?

What is with the pact crap?

It's not crap! Yes, it is! It isn't! Yes, it is! It's not! It's just a way for me to to what?

To make sense! Of what?

Of this! Of what?

Of us! David, I didn't plan this

-I unplanned this.

I spent all day today swearing to myself this wouldn't happen again, this would never happen again.

Not with you.

Not ever.

And here we are.

Why does this keep happening?

The same reason christmas keeps happening.

Because it's terrific, that's why.

What's that supposed to mean?

Just because something's terrific doesn't mean I have to like it! You didn't like it?

Fine! Just because I like something ugh! To hell with you, david.

This is not the way I live my life.

I don't just give myself to people.

I have to think about it, consider, contemplate.

And when I do, if I do, well, it isn't like this

- All wild and frenzied.

I mean, look at this place.

You don't have any lights, you don't have any furniture, when was the last time these sheets were changed?

Can't we just talk about how terrific it is for a minute?

I'm sorry.

I just don't feel right about it.

Why do you keep saying that?

Why are you so upset?

Why do you always get the sheet?

Hey.

Hey.

Is this about work?

Is that what this is about?

'Cause if it is, if it makes you feel any better, I'll find a job somewhere else.

It's not that.

Well, then what is it?

It doesn't make sense, david.

We don't make sense.

You're not who I'm supposed to be with.

I see.

Well I'm sorry, but I just don't see it that way.

Well, of course you don't see it like that.

I'm exactly who you want to be with.

Oh, great.

Now I've hurt you.

Well, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, but it's the truth.

You and i, david, we're an affair.

An affair?

An affair.

Ok, I can live with that.

Well, I can't.

I don't have affairs.

Well, try it, you might like it.

You're impossible.

And you're ridiculous.

I don't spend my time worrying about what's going to happen or how this is gonna sound in my memoirs.

What's wrong with something that's good for right now?

Is that what I am?

Just the best thing you could find for the moment?

That's a load of crap.

Excuse me?

You're crazy about me, and not for tonight, not for next week, I'm gonna be under your skin for a long time, buster, and you know it! You better stop before you embarrass yourself.

Embarrass myself?

Yes, embarrass yourself by making me tell you that the only reason I'm here, the only reason I did any of this was to save you! Save me?

From who?

From what?

From marrying commander cody or the lost planet airman.

You conceited, underdeveloped, over

-Sexed

- Look, I just wanted to make sure you didn't spend the rest of your life up on a roof with the 4 kids looking up into the night sky wondering when tom swift's gonna make it back from jupiter.

Oh, really?

Yes, really.

So this has all been about one big selfless sacrifice on your part?

Hey, I was glad to do it

- And none of this has been about the way you feel about me.

Look, is it my fault that women will fall for any load of pete moss you hand them as long as you tell them you love them first?

You're lying.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are.

Liar! No, I am not.

Yes, you are! Yes, you are! Yes, you are! Marriage enders, you propose, we dispose.

Guaranteed to end any romance in just one night.

What?

Yes, yes, agnes.

Yes, that is very weird, agnes.

All right, thanks.

Better put this little tiff of ours on the back burner for a while.

Margaret's fiancee just turned himself in.

He claims he k*lled her father.

It's a good thing we let 'em stamp our hands last time we left.

Done a lot with this place since the last time I was here.

Oh, mr.

Addison.

Miss hayes.

I, uh

- I feel so ashamed.

I hope you'll forgive me.

I didn't want to lie.

Why'd you do it, ms.

Kendall?

Why'd you confess to a m*rder you didn't commit?

To protect robert?

I have a small confession to make.

I never have danced with a guy.

Although, that isn't to say that I wouldn't, some other time.

If the guy was interested and he'd let me lead.

My name's david addison.

I'm a detective.

You wanna tell me about it?

So, uh, kendall calls me at the bar, you were there.

And he says to me, if I marry his daughter she gets drop

-Kicked from the will, not that I didn't see that coming.

But he tells me that he's called his lawyer, got him workin' on the paperwork.

So I go over there, try to talk him out of it

- Like I had a chance in hell, right?

And?

And, uh, we argue.

I hit him, he falls, knocked unconscious.

I turn on the gas, bang.

End of story.

That's it?

That's it.

No why?

You want a why?

Do you have any idea how much she's worth?

What about love?

What about it?

Lots of hearts and flowers in our last conversation.

You do love her, don't you?

Love her?

Love what she's worth.

I resent this.

Don't resent it.

There's nothing to resent.

It's just a good, intelligent way to make sure nothing transpires.

Yeah, right.

Transpire this.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that.

Rewind.

Forget the last minute of your life.

Look, if you're more comfortable sitting in the back seat, by all means, stay in the back seat.

I'm ju

- It's late, that's all.

I haven't had much sleep the past couple of nights.

I'm sorry.

You're forgiven.

Love doesn't count for much in the world, does it, david?

I don't want to talk about this

- I'm not talking about us, I'm talking about them.

Margaret and robert.

Loved each other, wanted each other, should've been able to have each other

- How do you know they love each other?

Maybe they do and maybe they don't.

They said it, you just said they said it.

Not 10 minutes ago, you walked out the interrogation room, looked margaret in the eye and said

- "He told me to tell you he loves you very much.

" Yes, I said that.

I ever mention to you when I was in high school I was in the senior play?

I played emily in our town.

Emily?

That's a girl's part.

Yeah, it was a hell of a challenge.

All boys school.

We had a motto in the theater department.

When the going gets tough, the tough shave their legs.

Is there a point to all this?

I'm a hell of an actor, maddie.

You mean you lied to margaret?

You told her he loved her, and he didn't say any such thing, did he?

Why would you lie to her?

Why would you make her carry a torch for someone who's gonna spend the rest of his life on death row?

I didn't lie to her, maddie.

But you told her robert murphy loved her.

Exactamundo.

And you just admitted to me that he told you he didn't.

Yeah, a great big double whopper with cheese, huh, maddie?

David

- The best line I heard since "I'll sleep with you, but I won't touch you.

" David! His lie, maddie, his lie, ok?

When I walked in that bar today, he told me he loved her.

I heard it, I felt it, and I believed it.

Regardless of what he said down in the station house.

And you have a theory to explain why he's lying now?

Look, I don't know.

Maybe margaret did bake the old man, maybe robert did it, maybe it was just an accident, I don't know.

The one thing I do know is that guy loves that girl.

There's no denying that.

And nothing, no rule about the way life ought to be, no pact, not the warsaw pact, not a whale pack of pacts is gonna make any difference or make that otherwise.

Which is why we are going back to the kendall joint.

Eww, my goodness.

My favorite style, well done.

Look at this.

And me without my sack cloth.

This is awful.

David, why are we here?

What are we looking for?

Perhaps I can help.

David, it's

- The late mr.

Kendall, I presume.

So what's the story?

Check for the coffin bounce?

Or was this one booked round trip from the start?

I hope you'll excuse the mess.

Us?

Don't give it a thought.

We're casual people ourselves.

I just have one question though, and holler if we're out of line, but aren't you supposed to be dead?

Quite dead.

You hear that, maddie?

Quite dead.

People say we don't have good plots.

So, dead, huh?

You probably got a lot of time on your hands.

Mind if we ask you a few questions?

Have a seat.

Let me hold your halo.

No halo, mr.

Addison.

Quite the contrary.

I don't understand, mr.

Kendall.

My doctor told me I had 6 months to live.

It seems that it's true what they say about smoking.

I told no one.

Two months ago, margaret met this mr.

Murphy.

As her love for him blossomed, my distrust of his intentions grew proportionately.

Yet nothing I would say or do would convince her to let him go.

So, knowing I was dying anyway, I planned my own m*rder.

I called mr.

Murphy at the saloon he's employed by, asked him to come over, told him we needed to talk, and he came.

We foughtloudly

- For the neighbors.

And then he left.

And I turned on the gas and blew up this room.

My intent, of course, was to pin my m*rder on him and get him out of my daughter's life.

I even initiated a change in my will so there would appear to be a motive.

You want us to believe that you were willing to give up the last to keep your daughter from marrying the wrong man?

She's my daughter, miss hayes.

I love her.

What about the body?

There was a body here.

I own 13 hospitals, mr.

Addison.

I found what I needed.

But mr.

Kendall, don't you see what you've done?

Both your daughter and robert murphy are taking the blame for a m*rder neither one committed.

Have you ever seen a love expressed so eloquently?

Each thought the other guilty, and each stepped forward to spare the other's life.

I guess that makes me a damn fool.

Miss hayes, mr.

Addison, it's disconcerting for a man to realize that, uh his death was his greatest failure.

So little opportunity to rectify it.

But, I got to try.

I can't face my daughter now.

I couldn't bear to feel the hate she'd surely have for me if she'd known what I've done.

I think, uh I'm better off dead.

I've written a note.

A su1c1de note explaining simply that I couldn't live with the pain of my illness.

Now what I ask is that you take it to the police.

Use it to free mr.

Murphy so that he and my daughter might have the chance at happiness they deserve.

One man's wallet, $7.

32

- Make that 33 cents, I need your signature, pal.

Boy meets girl, boy won't take no for an answer, boy gets girl.

No matter how wrong they seemed for each other.

Yessiree, bob, when you're right, you're right.

Me?

Right about what?

Love, sex, the pact, us.

I was?

I am?

I are?

You is.

And you know when I got it?

Back there in that police station watching those two kids.

You know, I think it's really ok that those two kids ride off into the sunset together, spend the rest of their lives warm and cozy in some little breakfast nook.

It's better than ok.

It's right.

But you and me, we're different.

Oh yeah?

How's that?

Well, we're two sides of the same coin, we eat sexual tension for breakfast.

Drive on sly, repartee, double entendre bawdy innuendo.

You take away that edge, you know what happens?

They move us to sunday night.

Yeah, we let animal magnetism get the best of us, who knows what's gonna happen?

It'd be terrible, it'd be wrong.

It'd be worse than wrong.

It'd be telecide.

Well, I want you to know I'm really glad you finally came around.

In fact, I'm ecstatic, I'm elated, I'm grateful.

Don't be grateful, I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing it for me, too.

Having this other agenda with you had me wound tight as a watch spring.

Not having it, if I get any more relaxed, I won't have a pulse.

Just one thing, though.

What's that?

Now, don't take this the wrong way, but there is one teensy, tinsy, nit

-Picky question mark gnawing at the base of my noggin.

What's that?

Well, the past few days have been quite a clambake, and I really didn't come dressed for the party.

Is everything oh! That?

Is it?

Oh, you mean, is it safe?

Absolutely.

You sure?

Of course I'm sure.

David, I'm a grown woman.

I take responsibility for my body and what I do with my body.

That's something I don't take chances with.

Good, that's good.

You don't mind me asking?

No, I don't mind at all.

It's a good question.

It's an important question.

A little irrelevant knowing what we know and feeling what we feel.

Yeah, all right.

Although I will say that I'm

- Glad what happened, happened.

I'm also glad it's not gonna happen anymore, but I am glad it happened.

I mean, it was pleasurable, and I do think it'll deepen our friendship, know what I mean?

Yeah, but, yeah, I mean, uh, no, it wa

- It was pleasurable for me, too, um

- Very pleasurable, as a matter of fact, especially now that I know that you do what you do did what you did.

No, I do, I did.

Kind of makes me wonder how much more pleasurable it would've been had I known that you do what you do when we did what we did, you know?

I guess we'll never know.

Guess you're right.

Although it does kind of make you wonder how much better still our friendship would be if we did do what we did knowing that you do what you do, or did what you did, doesn't it?

David david, this is uncomfortable! Here, let me get this out of your way.

So let me get this straight, it's absolutely

- Safe?

Absolutely.

It's absolutelysafe.

Oh, god! I'm hit! Aah! ♪ some walk by night ♪ ♪ some fly by day ♪ ♪ something is sweeter ♪ ♪ 'cause we met on the way ♪ ♪ 'cause we met on the way ♪♪