- ♪
- Hey, guys, I made fresh brownies!
- NORA: Yay, brownies! - BILLY: All right, Phoebe!
- MAX: I take back everything I ever said about you, Phoebe.
No brownies?
I take back the take back.
- "Surprise! You're at a family meeting."
It's a trap! - [powers whooshing]
Hey! Nobody leaves. [rapping gavel]
I'm calling this family meeting to order.
- Oh, man, she pinned us in. Now we can't leave.
- Okay, guys, Mom and Dad's th anniversary is coming up--
which means we need to decide on a gift.
- Let's just make 'em something.
They love this piece of garbage Chloe made for 'em.
- Hey!
I made this vase.
- Gift idea--
we take your vase outside and smash it!
- Don't worry, Max, we will take care of the gift
and sign your name to the card--like always.
- Oh, thanks.
I take back the take back I took back.
- PHOEBE: Oh.
- Hey, why don't we have Mom and Dad's
original wedding photo framed?
- Great idea, Nora.
Old people love looking at themselves when they were young.
- You know, actually, I've never really seen
their wedding photo.
[gasps] Maybe they're not really married.
- Oh, no! That means we don't exist!
- Did I hear something about brownies?
Ah, it's a trap!
- PHOEBE: Hey! [rapping gavel]
- Oh, man, she banged the thing. Now we can't leave.
- We were just discussing your anniversary gift.
- Oh, what brought that up?
Oh! Oh! The...the fact that it's coming up this...
let's see, first there's Spring, and then there's Summer...
- BARB: Saturday. - Saturday! That's it!
- Uh, we were wondering if we could
see some of your wedding pictures.
- Uh, we don't really have any.
- Ha! I knew they weren't married.
- Are we even your kids?
- Don't be ridiculous. Of course, we're married.
- Then what about your wedding?
- Well, yeah, we don't really like to talk about it.
- It was years ago in Metroburg
when I was melting your mom's heart
with the wedding vows I wrote...
Barb, you are the lightning to my thunder,
the wind beneath my cape,
[voice cracking] the meat in my sandwich.
That's why I wrote you this song.
♪ Beautiful Bar-bar-a
♪ I really love her, yeah ♪
- Ugh, no wonder you guys don't like talking about your wedding.
- Hey, let me finish.
♪ Beautiful Bar-bar-a
♪ Sha la la la la-a-a-a-a-a! ♪
- Now-- - ♪ Sha la la la la
Now you may continue.
- Now, do you, Hank Thunderman,
take Barbara McBooger to be your Superwife?
- I do. - Oh.
- COLOSSO: I don't!
Don't anybody move! - ALL: [gasping]
- COLOSSO: [evil laughter]
- Colosso, why are you here?
- Because I swore I'd never let you have a wedding day
after you ruined mine.
- You broke into the White House,
wedgied the president,
and tried to get married in the Oval Office.
- I wanted it to be fancy.
We're not all rich like the McBoogers.
- Can you, uh, hurry up and marry us
so I don't have to go by that name anymore.
- I now pronounced you husband and wife.
- COLOSSO: Don't kiss her!
Behold! The gadget that turns people into animals.
- ALL: [gasping]
- The people-to-animals switcherooni ray.
- I would just call it the animalizer.
- That's dumb.
With this animalizer, I plan to ruin your wedding.
- Whoa, relax, everyone.
His inventions never work.
- [ray zapping]
- HANK: See? Didn't work.
- BARB: Hank, we're goats.
- HANK: [bleating]
- Congratulations.
I did get you a little something.
- HANK: [bleating] - It's a toaster.
What? I'm not a monster.
Hmmm! [laughing]
A monster! [laughing]
- HANK: [bleating]
- I can't believe Colosso never told me that story.
It's hilarious.
Well, you know it is.
- Okay, so, what happened next?
- Well, the Hero League found a way to turn us back.
- Although, not before I ate my own veil.
- And then we hunted down Dr. Colosso
and used his w*apon against him--
turning him into the rude bunny
that lives in our house for some reason.
- He's payin' for his crime.
- Is he? 'Cause I'm the one
who has to scoop up his poop pellets.
- Well, this has been fun, but, uh,
I need to head down to the mall.
Not because I need any last-minute gifts.
- I'll go with you,
but not because I need to show you exactly what I want.
- Guys, I have the best gift idea.
- You're moving out?
- No. [sighs]
Since Mom and Dad's first wedding got destroyed,
let's throw them another one.
- Great--as long as it means these meetings can stop.
- Fine. We will schedule a meeting
to discuss cancelling future meetings.
There'll be brownies. - BILLY: Really?
- No.
- ♪
♪ What you see
♪ Is not what you get
♪ Livin' our lives with a secret ♪
♪ We fit right in
♪ Bet you never guessed
♪ 'Cause we're livin' our lives ♪
♪ Just like all the rest
♪ A picture perfect family ♪
♪ Is what we try to be
♪ Look closer, you might see ♪
♪ The crazy things we do
♪ This isn't make believe ♪
♪ It's our reality
♪ Just your average family
♪ Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble ♪
♪ Livin' a double life ♪
- BARB & HANK: Happy Anniversary!
- Ooh, I have a feeling this is a neck massager.
- I have a feeling this is a handbag.
- BARB: A neck massager? - HANK: A neck massager!
- What happened to the handbag?
- Ooh, you look tense.
You should put that on right now.
- Special delivery. - BARB: Oh!
- All right. About time one of these kids got a job.
- Oh, Hank, the kids are throwing us a wedding
as an anniversary gift.
- PHOEBE: That's right.
- Can I have my brownie now?
- Why does she get a real brownie?
- Because she doesn't complain about the meetings.
- "The Thunderman kids request your presence
at the marriage of Hank and Barb Thunderman this evening."
- Oh, kids, that is so sweet.
- Hey, we want you guys to have the wedding of your dreams.
- Hank: Aww...
- It'll be the most romantic event of the century.
- Hm, settle down.
It's in the driveway by the garbage cans.
- Oh, I can't believe we're having a wedding.
I'm gonna need a new dress, a new tux.
- Oh, not me.
I still have my Thunder Tux from our first wedding.
It will fit me like a glove.
- Are you sure?
'Cause you haven't tried on that glove in a while.
- Please, one quick workout,
and I'll get my wedding bod back in no time.
So, you can just relax. - No, I--
- [neck massager vibrating] - Oh, right.
This is much better than a handbag.
- Okay, guys, we've got a lot of work to do.
First, we'll need a wedding theme.
- One word--bows!
- Better word--fire!
- Or robots.
- Or robots that breathe fire.
I know a guy.
- Uh, guys, guys, um...
it's so awesome that you wanna help,
and I already have the perfect job for you.
- I'll take it, but I need today off.
I have a wedding.
- All you need to do is keep Colosso in the lair
and make sure he doesn't find out about the wedding.
- All right. You heard her, Billy.
You watch Colosso, I take a nap.
- That's not what she said. - MAX: It's what I heard.
- Three, four, five, six.
Cool, I landed on the carrot patch.
- Ooh, but ya got stuck in farm jail.
- Can I pay my way out with Colosso bucks?
- No, because the farmer ran you over with his tractor--
which means I win again!
- How do you win every game of Farmageddon?
- I'm asleep and even I know he's cheating.
- I don't care.
This is the best secret job I've ever had.
- Secret? What secret?
- Stop talking, Billy.
- Tell me what's goin' on--
and a million Colosso bucks can be yours.
- I'll be richer than a McBooger.
- Billy, don't.
- We're supposed to keep you distracted
so you don't ruin Mom and Dad's second wedding.
- Second wedding?!
- Good job.
You just bought yourself a lifetime of Phoebe meetings.
- Why are they having another wedding?
I worked so hard to destroy the first one.
- Yeah, we heard.
By the way, the goats were hilarious.
- I don't think they were.
I regret what I did.
- You actually feel bad?
- Yes.
Now that I've seen the love between your parents,
I wish I hadn't ruined their special day.
[suppressed sobs]
- Are you...crying?
- I just wish I could go back and fix my mistake
with a year- switcherooni ray.
- You mean a time machine?
- That's a much better name.
Well, I'm sure the wedding will be great--
especially since Phoebe has Max down here.
- What's that supposed to mean?
- You're stuck here guarding a bunny.
Maybe Phoebe's more worried about
you ruining the wedding.
- Oh, that's ridiculous.
Phoebe's not keeping me down here.
I can go up whenever I want.
- Wait, are you going up--
because I'm supposed to tell Phoebe.
- What?
She has you watching me?
- No.
She has me watching you. - I just said that.
And Phoebe's wrong. I don't ruin things.
I make things awesome.
- Yeah, you should get up there
and give Hank and Barb the best wedding ever--
because they deserve happiness.
- Yeah, come on, let's go, Billy.
- Uh, I'm rich now, Max.
Call me "Billy McBooger."
- So, you see, Chloe,
some people have to do months of exercise
to get their wedding bod,
but all Thunder Man needs to do is a single push-up.
[grunts]
Ha-ha!
- It didn't work.
- Well, that's funny.
It must've made some difference.
I bet I can fit into my jacket.
[clears throat]
[straining, sobbing]
[sighs]
Like a glove.
- [button ricocheting]
- [vase shatters]
- Yay, your belly broke Phoebe's vase.
- This is bad.
It's not a Thunder Man wedding without a Thunder Tux.
How am I gonna get a wedding bod in just a few hours?
- With boot camp, baby!
- I don't think this is a good ide--
- [whistle shrills]
- Stop yapping and give me .
- Twenty?
- You're lucky I can't count higher.
One, two, three...
- Well, it'll be pretty obvious who decorated this.
I can't believe you used all your bows.
- You think this is all my bows?
- Oh, hey, this wedding is gonna be so elegant.
- Let's get this wedding started!
- [dance music]
- Max, what are you doing?
- I'm Maxifying this wedding!
- Billy, you're supposed to be watching him.
- I am. I'm watching him Maxify this wedding.
- I give you the mashed potato bar!
- BILLY: It's got fixing's, yo!
- And what's a wedding without bub-bubbles!
- We're both like, what?!
- This is exactly what I was afraid of, Max.
You always ruin everything.
- So, Colosso was right.
- Colosso? Colosso, wait!
If you guys are up here,
then who's downstairs watching him?
- Don't worry about Colosso.
He's happy about the wedding.
- You told him about the wedding?
- Yeah, he regrets what happened and said
Mom and Dad deserve happiness.
Oh, no. - Oh, yes!
I'm here to renew my vows
to always destroy Thunder Man's wedding.
[evil laughter]
- [sighs] He's gone.
- This is bad.
- Colosso's on the loose, yo!
- [rays zapping] - [mic drops]
- Okay, we're running out of time
to find Colosso before the wedding.
- Aha! - You found him?
- No, I found the TV remote.
Welcome home, old friend.
- Max, focus.
It's gonna be your fault if Colosso
ruins this wedding like he did the last one.
- No way. Last time, Colosso had the animalizer.
- BOTH: The animalizer!
- Let's see if it's still there.
- Wait, when did Mom and Dad
get a new security system for the animalizer?
- It was last year's anniversary gift from us,
along with that vase I made them
that they will treasure forever.
- [scanner hums]
[sighing] Okay, good. He hasn't gotten to it.
- Not yet.
- All right, let's close this thing back up.
- PHOEBE: Um-- - [scanner beeping]
- Why can't I close it? - [scanner beeping]
- Denying you access
was also part of last year's anniversary gift.
- COLOSSO: Yep!
- Well, at least we tried.
Now let's thaw this thing out and watch some TV.
- Can I see that really quick? - Yeah, sure.
- [remote smacking] - Help me find that bunny!
- [ray zapping]
- Here comes Colosso...
[straining] ...any second now.
[straining]
[groaning]
Oh, there I am.
[evil laughter]
- [panting] Am I done yet?
- No, give me jumping jacks.
- Fifty? I thought you couldn't count that high.
- Talking back? Make that -.
- HANK: [groans]
- What's going on, guys?
- Daddy doesn't fit in his jacket.
- Not yet, but I will after the next - jumping jacks.
- Hank, I don't care if you fit into a tux
from years ago.
I'd marry you again, no matter what you wear.
- This is not about your love and support, Barb.
This is a battle between me and that tux
and I am gonna win.
- Didn't you once lose pounds in sweat
battling that supervillain near the surface of the sun?
- Oh, that's a great idea! [laughs]
I'll be back before the wedding.
[laughing]
Thunder Man, getting in shape!
- Call me if you need a trainer.
- There you are. - Did you find Colosso?
- No, I found you.
I thought we were playing hide and seek.
- We're supposed to be finding Colosso.
- I saw him an hour ago.
He was the one who told me we were playing hide and seek.
- Okay, we've officially searched the entire house.
It's like Colosso disappeared.
- Maybe we should just tell Mom and Dad
what happened and cancel the wedding.
- No, we're not doing that.
- You know, this never would've happened
if you'd have just included me.
- Max, I didn't include you
because you always ruin things.
- Okay, yes, I might ruin things.
But I always fix them.
It's all part of the Maxifying process.
- Okay, fine, fix this and make sure
Colosso doesn't destroy this wedding.
- I will...by...
letting Colosso destroy the wedding.
I guarantee this might work.
This is weird--the wedding's already started
and Colosso still hasn't shown up yet.
- I hope he hurries.
I wanna try that carrot cake you guys got.
- We thought you guys bought it.
- I don't know who bought it.
- I do! [evil laughter]
- Colosso! - That's right!
And now to turn your parents into...
Phoebe?
- Colosso, why are you human?
- Why are you forcing that poor scarecrow to marry you?
- Colosso, look,
let's talk about this man-to-man.
- No, thanks. I'd rather talk man-to-pig.
- [ray zapping] - [evil laughter]
- MAX: [oinks] - Guys, duck!
- If you insist. - [ray zapping]
- [evil laughter] - PHOEBE: [quacking]
- Run, Billy! - [ray zapping]
- Too slow, Zippy. [evil laughter]
Oh.
- [rays zapping] - Ow!
Quit horsing around. - [ray zapping]
[evil laughter]
- NORA: [whinnies]
- PHOEBE: Oh, way to fix it, Max.
- MAX: [snorts] I should've just let you sign the card for me.
[snorts]
- Quiet down, ya filthy animals.
We've got a wedding to start.
[evil laughter]
- [wedding march piano music]
- ♪ Here come the dopes
♪ I'll turn them into goats ♪
[evil laughter]
- Hank, the music's started.
- Oh. Sorry.
I had to take a shower after the sun.
I got space dust in my crater.
- Spare me the detail
and just see if you fit in your jacket.
- Oh, it's the moment of truth.
Thunder Tux, you are the last thing
standing between me and my wife's love.
- I told you I didn't care.
- I will wear you. You don't wear me!
- Just see if the jacket fits!
- Oh. [laughs]
[laughing] It fits!
[laughing] Woo!
This is the happiest day of my entire life--
other than marrying you and havin' a buncha children.
- Oh, way to go, Hank. I knew you could do it.
- Yep, it's all good as long as
I don't eat anything or exhale.
- Okay, let's go.
I can't wait to see what surprises the kids have for us.
- [wedding march piano music continues]
- BARB: Oh...
- NORA: [whinnies]
- A petting zoo?
Uh, not quite what I was picturing,
but I'll try to keep an open mind.
- NORA: [whinnies]
- Yay, a pony! - It's me, Nora.
- Yay, a pony named Nora.
- What is going on here?
- PHOEBE: Mom, Dad, look out!
- COLOSSO: Surprise!
Pretend I'm jumping outta that cake.
- Colosso!
- You turned our kids into animals?
- It wasn't that much of a stretch.
You've seen them eat dinner.
- Chloe, go back inside.
We've got a wedding crasher.
- CHLOE: [whooshes]
- Hank, Barb, I now pronounce you
Mr. and Mrs. Thundergoat.
- Not this time, Colosso. - [ray zapping]
- HANK: Ha. - COLOSSO: Yeah!
- HANK: [yelps]
- [ray and electricity zapping]
- Keep him busy. I have an idea.
- Am I just threatening him so you can eat?
- Yes.
- What do you see in him, Barbara?
- The man who's about to b*at you.
- What? You're gonna eat me?
- I said b*at you.
- [button ricocheting]
- Back to the cage for you, Colosso.
- [ray zapping] - No!
[screaming]
Oh, well, see you at the th anniversary.
- [sighs] Well, Hank.
Your Thunder Tux has never looked better on you.
- Oh, and you're even more beautiful
than you were on our first wedding day.
- Aw...that was a goat, but thank you.
- [kisses]
- MAX: Your children are still animals.
- Oh, right, the kids.
- [ray zapping]
- Mom, Dad, we are so sorry.
We really wanted you guys to have a nice wedding.
- What? Are you kidding? This is amazing.
- PHOEBE, MAX, NORA, BILLY: It is?
- Yeah, we finally stopped Colosso
from destroying our wedding.
- And that mashed potato bar is delicious.
This really is the wedding of our dreams.
- Well, then, I guess you guys should thank Max.
He's the reason for all this weirdness and destruction.
- [laughs] Yeah.
I Maxified your wedding!
- Well, who's ready to get married?
- Oh, I am. - Hm.
- But, uh, who's gonna perform the ceremony?
- Oops, it looks like we forgot that little detail.
- Ahem! I know someone who can do it.
- Justin Timberlake?
- No, me.
- Are we really that desperate, Hank?
- [laughing] Absolutely not.
- I now pronounce you Thunder Man and Superwife.
- HANK: Hey! Hey! Hey!
- COLOSSO: You may not kiss the bride
because nobody wants to see that.
- Truth, yo!
- Smile!
- [phone camera clicks]
- ALL [cheering]
- Congratulations, you two.
- HANK: [laughing]
- Hey, we should get this picture framed
for next year's gift.
- Oh, yeah. Max, do you wanna pick out a frame?
- Ah, it sounds like work. Just sign the card for me.
- All right, let's dance.
- [dance music]
♪
- Should we tell Nora she still has a tail?
- Ah, she's havin' fun.
We'll tell her later.
- ♪
- ♪
04x05 - Better Off Wed
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Series revolves around the Thundermans, a family with superpowers who try to live normal lives in the fictional town of Hiddenville.
Series revolves around the Thundermans, a family with superpowers who try to live normal lives in the fictional town of Hiddenville.