07x06 - Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Three: Peep Show

[bunniefuu]

[JUGHEAD] After Dr. Werthers' editorial,

comic books were periodicals
non grata in Riverdale,

just as I'd become one of
Pep Comics' go to writers.

And speaking of Pep Comics,

I noticed some of their recent output

bore an uncanny resemblance to stories

written by my favorite pulp
writer of all time, Brad Rayberry.

But where was Rayberry's credit?

- [DOOR CLOSES]
- Mr. Fieldstone,

the comic book that you just published

is b*at for b*at, exactly like a story

- that Brad Rayberry published ten years ago.
- Hold on.

The Rayberry story is
called November County.

Ours is called November Country.

Is Pep Comics in the
business of plagiarizing?

That is an ugly word we never
use around here, all right?

But it's all coming back to me now.

I dimly remember trying to
reach out to this Rayberry guy

about a rights inquiry.

But he never returned my calls, so
I just assumed he was probably dead.

You know, I've been here
a couple of days now,

and I've observed a few things.

Take a break, Archie.

Your mom's concerned
about you, and so am I.

The lying, the sneaking around,
that business with the Blossom girl.

Your grades are mediocre

and you're not pulling your
weight around the house.

How do you think your dad would feel?

You think he'd be proud of you?

What did he say to you
before he went off to w*r?

Remind me.

He said that I should take care of mom.

And be the man of the house.

That's right.

Now, do you think
you've lived up to that?

No, but you're going to start.

Right now.

Come with me.

Mom, I'm sorry if I've been
disrespecting you lately.

I promise I'll be a better son to you.

Thank you, Archie.

I know you will, honey.

Good man. Tomorrow we'll
talk to your principal

about getting your grades up.

♪ I feel so ♪

♪ Good ♪

♪ I can concentrate on you ♪

♪ Right now ♪

[BELL RINGING]

[GIRLS CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

Veronica, can I bend your ear?

Sure, Betty.

What's on your mind?

I was just wondering...

what's sex like?

My goodness. And I've barely
just had my morning java.

All I'm doing is reading about it.

And I just wanted to
talk to someone with,

you know, firsthand experience.

Okay, truth time.

Now, you can't tell anyone, because
I have a reputation to uphold.

But, entre nous,

I haven't actually gone
all the way with a boy.

Not yet.

I just assumed because
you're so... sexy.

Thanks for noticing.

But Betty, you don't have
to have sex to be sexy.

But how do you...

How do I...

carry myself more like you?

Well, there are all sorts
of tricks a woman can use

to revel in her body
and feel more sensual.

Perfume is one.

Or a heel that puts a sway in your step.

But my favorite little trade secret...

is wearing sexy lingerie.

Lingerie?

I like the way it makes me feel.

The soft fabric against my skin,

knowing that it makes
my body look fantastic.

Say, why don't you
give lingerie a whirl?

Come over to the Pembrooke
after school and try some on.

[GIGGLES] Okay, sure.

[CHERYL] Good morning, Antoinette.

Here's your novel back.

What did you think of it?

Um...

I like the cover.

There's something aesthetically pleasing

about two voluptuous, feminine forms
in close proximity to each other.

Voluptuous, huh?

Well, how about you and
I go to the Dark Room

and grab a cappuccino and privacy,

where we can feed each other
apple butter about the cover art?

Oh, no, I couldn't possibly.

I'm far too busy getting ready
to relaunch my precious Vixens.

Ah, yes. Your paper-shakers.

I would ask you to join, but
I'm sure being a cheerleader

is far too square an activity
for a girl-greaser like you.

Sir, I swear on a stack of Bibles
that I'm going to double down

on my schoolwork and get my grades up.

I want to be at least a B student.

I'm happy to hear that, Archie.

I feel as if there's much...

- untapped potential within you.
- [CHUCKLES]

And Frank, your timing
couldn't be better. I wonder...

might I have a word
with you, in private?

Of course.

Archie, will you excuse us?

Um, sure.

Okay, girls, let's fire it up
and see what we're working with.

[DOOR OPENS]

["TOO DARN HOT" PLAYING]

♪ It's too darn hot ♪

♪ It's too darn hot ♪

Hope I'm not too late.

I'm sorry, you're not on our list.

- Better luck next year...
- Evelyn, are you the captain?

Oh, no, that's right. That would be me.

So quit biting at my
ankles and shut your trap.

You're not too late, Toni.

In fact, you're first up.

I assume you prepared a routine.

I did.

We got the pep.

We got this... We got... [ECHOING]

♪ It's too darn hot ♪

♪ It's too darn hot ♪

♪ I'd like to sup ♪
♪ With my baby tonight ♪

♪ Refill the cup ♪
♪ With my baby tonight ♪

♪ I'd like to sup ♪
♪ With my baby tonight ♪

♪ Refill the cup ♪
♪ With my baby tonight ♪

♪ But I ain't up ♪
♪ To my baby tonight ♪

♪ 'Cause it's too darn hot ♪

Riverdale High School, that's our team.

Well, razz my berries and
put them in a jelly jar.

I haven't seen that kind of
pom-pom technique in years.

Since I alone speak for the Vixens,

I would like to officially
offer you a spot on the squad.

- Shouldn't we wait till we've seen everyone...
- Evelyn!

Until you've proven you can do more

than regurgitate a Doris Day shuffle,

I suggest you zip it.

[ALL CHEERING SOFTLY]

[BELL DINGING]

So, it looks like I'll be
sticking around a while.

Principal Featherhead asked me to
be the basketball team's head coach.

Oh, that's great news, Frank.

[FRANK] Well, now that the w*r's over,

Featherhead wants to
bring the Bulldogs back.

Tryouts are tomorrow after school.

I expect to see you there.

Well, if it's all the
same to you, Uncle Frank,

I think I might sit this season out.

But you love basketball.

I've been told to focus
on my studies, Mom.

Archie, you're young. You
can study and play basketball.

You don't want me on the team.

I'm no good. I'm out of practice.

Archie.

That's okay, Mary.

If Archie doesn't feel
like he's fit to play,

he can contribute another way.

As water-boy.

[SCOFFS]

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]

What's the tale, nightingale?

Come out and let me see.

[BETTY SIGHS] I'm... I am not sure.

Don't be modest, Betty.
It's just us girls.

[CHUCKLES]

I knew it.

I knew it would look perfect on you.

Well, how do you feel?

Sexy as sin?

Hardly. I feel... embarrassed.

Why?

Bettie Page herself
would go ape for you.

This was a silly idea.

- I'm gonna change.
- Betty, wait.

Come here.

Give yourself a minute
to get used to the lace.

Deep breaths.

[INHALES]

[BOTH EXHALING]

Now look at yourself.

Look at your beautiful
body and repeat after me.

"I am a gorgeous, powerful, sexy siren,

at the height of my womanly powers."

And may God have mercy on
the boys of Riverdale High.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[DOOR UNLOCKS]

Oh, wow. Mr. Rayberry, uh...

I'm Jughead Jones.

I'm a writer over at
Pep Comics in Riverdale,

and I know for a fact
that they are plagiarizing

and publishing your
stories for monetary gain.

Huh?

They're ripping you off.

I think you should send them
a cease and desist letter

- or sue them or something.
- Yeah, hold on, hold on.

You're employed by Pep Comics,

and you want me to sue Pep Comics?

Why?

Well, that might be a bit extreme.

But, uh... [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

I think you're the tops.

And I... You... You
shouldn't be treated this way.

I, um... I'm sure it's just
some kind of misunderstanding.

Uh, it's... It's...

It's not.

It's theft. I went through
all of Pep Comics' back issues.

They've poached like
eight of your stories.

Um, this is just the latest one.

[CHERYL] Spit it out, Evelyn.

I have some concerns,

about our new Vixen, Toni Topaz.

Feeling threatened should
only make you work harder.

I just don't think that we should
have girls like Toni on our squad.

You best choose your next
words very carefully, Evelyn.

Riverdale High is fully
integrated, as are the Vixens.

If you have a problem with that...

No, my problem isn't with
Toni being Black. It's...

Well, it's with the fact that
everyone knows that she's a l*zzie.

And I wouldn't be comfortable being
naked in the locker room with her.

I don't know where you heard
such a disgusting rumor, Evelyn,

but let me clue you in.
Toni Topaz is not a...

Whatever that word is.

I wouldn't tolerate such
behavior on my squad,

so shut your damn mouth about it!

Now, kindly put an egg
in your shoe and b*at it.

A new episode of Oh,
Mija is about to begin

and you're not invited
to stay and watch.

[LIZZO] Topaz.

The scuttlebutt is
you're a paper-shaker now.

[LAUGHS] What happened?

Let me guess.

Still bird-dogging that
redheaded closet-case?

Well, not that I have to
justify my actions to you, Lizzo,

you're currently looking
at Riverdale High's

first Black cheerleader ever.

Now, that may not mean a lot
to you, but it does to me.

So it's political for you.

Yeah. Got it. That makes sense.

Damn, Topaz. You must
really be on the hook.

Not that I blame you.

That's one cherry
lollipop I'd happily lick.

[CHUCKLES]

[CLEARS THROAT]

What the heck did you do with my car?

Well, that hot rod was an
unnecessary distraction, Archie.

Don't worry, it's safe and sound,

and you'll get it back once your
grades are where they should be.

How do you expect me to get to school?

You can walk, take the
bus, ride your bike.

Or you can hitch a ride with
me, but you better hustle.

You don't want to be late for
your first day as water-boy.

Well, are you wearing them?

Don't flip out, but I am not.

Betty, how will you ever
get used to lace panties

if you don't wear them every day?

You know, I know, but
there's gym class later today,

and I didn't want people
to see me wearing them

and think that I was
some kind of nymphomaniac.

Yet another word invented by
men who want to gaslight women.

Anyway, now that I'm your new
wing woman, I've been thinking.

It's time we found you a man,

who can appreciate what an incredible,

powerful, beautiful knockout you are.

So, now that you and Kevin are no
more, who do you have your eye on?

There is someone, actually.

Don't be coy.

Who's the lucky duck?

It's Archie.

[LAUGHS SHEEPISHLY]

Yes, Archie is a teen
dream boat, isn't he?

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Well, you're in luck.

I spied him in the
lounge mere seconds ago.

So why don't you march on
in there and ask him out?

Let's do it now, before you
can talk yourself out of it.

Hi, Archie.

Betty, hey. What's the scoop?

The scoop is...

Do you maybe want to go
to the movies with me?

The movies?

Well, heck yeah, Betty. I would
love to take you to the movies.

[BETTY] Really?

But I can't.

I can't right now.

It's my Uncle Frank. He's
being a real pain in the ass.

He's got me on a trip for biscuits
making me the team water-boy.

Maybe he'll ease up in the next
couple of weeks and we can go then?

Of course. Yeah,
another time. It's fine.

[BETTY CRYING]

At least he was nice enough
to come up with an excuse.

Or it's the truth.

And you just need to let Archie
work out his family strife for a bit.

[SIGHS]

Say, why don't we nab ourselves
a couple of good time boys

and go on a double date?

With... With who?

Isn't there an all-boys
private school down the lane?

- You mean Stonewall Prep?
- Mmm.

J'adoreprivate school boys.

So sexually frustrated.

So easy to torment and manipulate.

Hmm.

["SWEET GEORGIA BROWN" PLAYING]

Let's see what we have here.

"A story of forbidden feminine love."

[LAUGHS]

I knew it.

[TONI] Excuse me.

Can I help you with something, Evelyn?

You know, it's strange, Toni.

When I asked her, Cheryl insisted
that you weren't gaga for girls.

This book, however,
tells a different story.

As a matter of fact, I
read all kinds of books.

So how about you quit sticking
your nose in my business

before I serve you
up a knuckle sandwich?

Can you dig it?

Now, why don't you tell me

exactly what Cheryl said.

[FIELDSTONE] So, what do you think?

First issue, hot off the presses.

- This is so boss, boss.
- [LAUGHS]

I mean, to see it in full
color and in print with my name.

And that's just the final proof.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

Which one of you
shucksters is Al Fieldstone?

I am. Who are you?

Brad Rayberry.

You've been plagiarizing my short
stories for your comic books.

Hey, now. What's to say
that two different writers

couldn't have had similar
ideas concurrently?

Once maybe, but eight times?

Do you think that's going
to pass muster in the courts?

The courts?

[LAUGHS] You listen to me, pal.

I have got the top lawyers
in New York on retainer.

Uh, fellas, acknowledging that...

someone at some time might have
read a book and been inspired by it,

what if we put Mr. Rayberry's name

on all future reprints of
stories that are similar to his,

and pay him a modest but appropriate fee

for the rights to adapt his work?

How much dough are we talking about?

- How about...
- How about a $ adaptation fee per story?

Deal.

But I want to be compensated

for the eight stories
you've already adapted.

Comprende?

[SIGHS]

Deal.

[BELL DINGING]

Well, all's well that ends
well, eh, Mr. Rayberry?

We shall see.

So how's this gonna work, anyway?

It's up to you. You, um,
could adapt your own stories

or you could get a a different
Pep Comics writer to do it.

Writers like you, maybe?

It would be an honor, sir.

I love all your stories in all
the different pulp magazines.

Weird Tales, Startling
Stories, Fantastic Adventures.

[BRAD] Does, uh...

Does your old man approve
of your literary aspirations?

'Cause mine sure as hell didn't.

Couldn't tell you.

Did he leave the mortal coil? I'm sorry.

Oh, no, uh...

He lives in Toledo.

I think. He, uh...

There was this big, messy robbery

in town a few years back,
and he was the prime suspect.

So he hopped on his bike
and split from Riverdale.

[GLASS CLINKS]

Have you written about that?

- No.
- You should.

You write anything
other than funny books?

Yeah, no, I... I write short
stories, but it's been a while.

If I wrote a short
story, would you read it?

[SIGHS] Crud. We were
having such a swell time.

I'm yanking your chain.

[CHUCKLES]

Sure I would.

Pass me the ketchup, will you?

[LAUGHS]

["LEAD ME FATHER" PLAYING]

♪ When my hands are tired ♪

♪ And my step is slow ♪

♪ Walk beside me ♪

♪ And give me ♪
♪ The strength to go ♪

♪ Fill my face with your courage ♪

♪ So defeat won't show ♪

♪ Pick me up when I stumble ♪

♪ So the world won't know ♪

♪ Lead me, Father with
the staff of life ♪

[TYPEWRITER CLACKING]

♪ Give me the strength for a song ♪

♪ That the words I sing ♪

♪ Might more strength bring ♪

♪ To help some poor troubled ♪

♪ Weary worker along ♪

[FRANK WHISTLING]

Good morning. I have
good news for you, Archie.

What's that?

I got you a job.

Pumping gas at Pop's.

That's what being man of
the house means, Archie.

Taking on multiple responsibilities.

[DILTON] Jughead.

This is fat city.

We have to celebrate.

Wanna go to Pop's and
treat us to burgers?

Aw, man, I wish I could.

But after school, I'm actually
going over to Mr. Rayberry's house.

I want to him to read
this new story I wrote.

[DOOR OPENS]

Cheryl Blossom, we got a big problem.

I concur.

- It's Midge, right?
- No.

It's you telling Evelyn
Evernever that I don't like girls.

She put down that you were a l*zzie.

I defended your honor and reputation.

That's the problem.

You don't get to speak for me.

You don't get to define me.

You don't get to put me in a box.

I was just trying to protect you.

I don't need a savior.

I'm not ashamed of
who I am or who I like.

I never have been and I never will be.

I don't know what you want me to say.

I... I'm sorry.

I'm done wasting my time on you, Cheryl.

And I'm done with all
this p*ssy footing.

So...

I hope that you get to
wherever you're going,

but I'm getting off this train.

Life's too damn short.

Wait, Toni.

You're right.

I...

am attracted to girls.

Well, that's a start.

And I think maybe, um...

I'm attracted to you.

You think or you know?

I... I know.

Finally.

We're getting somewhere.

[JUGHEAD] Hey, Mr. Rayberry.

I brought a short story.

Some prose I wrote last night.

Would you look at?

Just give me your two cents?

Sure, but I'm not
gonna pull any punches.

Of course. Thank you.

- [KETTLE WHISTLING]
- You want some tea?

- Heck, yes.
- Mmm-hmm. I'll be right back.

Make yourself comfortable.

[KETTLE WHISTLES]

[SIGHS]

Wait. So, Kevin and Clay are also?

Yeah. But not many
people know about them.

So, don't go around quoting it.

No, no, of course not.

When I was ten, my mother and her sister

had an awful falling out.

My Aunt Carol ended up moving to
Greenwich Village to be a writer.

My mother called her awful things, Toni.

Like...

[WHISPERS] Sapphic, sexual deviant.

Wow.

That was around the time
that I started realizing

maybe I was like Aunt Carol.

Even though I'd never get to
live like her, loving women.

I knew I liked girls
as much as I liked boys

for as long as I could remember.

My parents caught me necking

with my neighbor, Glenda,
when I was years old.

And then they kicked
me out of the house.

Oh, no, Toni.

And then I moved in with my grandma.

And I can be exactly who I wanna be.

Your grandmother approves?

More or less.

I always believed if I didn't
want my family to disown me,

I would have to spend
my life playing a part.

That's what that whole
thing with Archie was. A...

- A role.
- And now?

Now...

I am ready for something else.

I can dig that.

♪ Hey, speed queen ♪

♪ Looking real fine now ♪

♪ Hey, speed queen ♪

- [CAR HONKS]
- ♪ Puncher on the line now ♪

♪ Hey, speed queen ♪

Archie Andrews. Riverdale's
resident grease monkey.

You need a fill-up, Julian?

[JULIAN] Sure do.

And some air in the tires.

[WILLIE] So, Betty, is it true your
parents run the television station?

Yeah, they do. RIVW.

How come you're not on their
dance show, Riverdale Grandstand?

Oh, I don't know, uh...

It's a pretty big time commitment.

Three hours every day after school.

Gee, don't you like to dance?

Of course she does.

Anyway. What do you
two cool cats like to do

when you're not out on the town
with Riverdale High's ginchiest gals?

[WILLIE] We're on the debate
team and the basketball team.

And the Honor Society.

And... [VOICE FADES OUT]

[MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING]

[POP] Hey there, Archie.

Thought my newest gas attendant
might need a little pick me up?

[LAUGHS] Yeah, you don't
know the half of it, Pop.

Heard they're getting the
basketball team going again,

now that the w*r is over.

Yeah. Yeah, my uncle's the coach.

You know, I used to watch your
dad play when he was in school.

Best rebounder Riverdale
High had ever seen.

Well, he and I, we used to play a
lot, growing up. Right up until...

he went off to the w*r.

Proud of him for serving
our country the way he did.

He was a true hero.

Yeah, he was, Pop.

He honest-to-gosh was.

[JUGHEAD] I read until the sun came up.

Mr. Rayberry's novel,

TheJupiter Journals
was likeFlash Gordon,

as if Fitzgerald had written it.

And I couldn't believe that Mr.
Rayberry was just letting it sit,

unpublished in a cardboard box.

[VERONICA] So, Betty,

what happened when Willie
walked you home last night?

Nothing. No butterflies.

Oh, dear.

Is it that your heart's still
set on Archie, do you think?

Yes, which means I'm doomed.

Betty, we talked about this.

Romeo and Juliet had logistical
problems, but they figured it out.

Veronica, they both d*ed.

Not until act five.

- [SIGHS]
- And only after they lost

their cherries, I might add.

Anyways, I have an idea.

One way to get close to someone

is by having long, meaningful

late night conversations with them.

So, why don't you and Archie
wait for your respective

gatekeeping adults to go to sleep?

Then, call each other
up on the telephone.

Start having intimate heart to hearts

and get to know each other that way.

Well, I wish, but Archie doesn't
have a telephone in his bedroom.

sh**t.

Are you sure?

I am. I can look into
Archie's room from mine.

Sorry.

You can look into Archie's
bedroom window from yours?

Does this mean you've glimpsed him...

Yes, many, many times.

Betty, I think I have to see
this floor show for myself.

What time does the
curtain usually go up?

[JULIAN] Hey, grease monkey.

When I got home last night, I
noticed a smudge on my windshield.

Why don't you bring
it back to the station?

I'll take another cr*ck at it.

I'll do that.

In the meantime, how about you
get me a soda from the cafeteria...

water-boy?

[ALL LAUGH]

Why don't you get it yourself, Julian?

I would, but I'm saving my energy,

so I can obliterate your dad's record

against Centerville this weekend.

I mean, somebody's got to do it.

And it's clearly not going to be...

[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[STUDENT] Hey, whoa.

[FRANK] Mary, I just got here
and I heard what happened.

I'll talk to Featherhead and
we'll straighten out this mess.

Back off, Frank.

I'm his mother.

I'll take this round.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

Gather up, girls.

I've decided on
assignments for the season.

For starters, Toni Topaz will perch

at the top of our Vixens pyramid.

But I'm always the flyer.

- Not this year.
- This is outrageous.

No, this is cheerleading.

Of course, if you're feeling
frosted by my leadership choices,

you're welcome to quit,
Evelyn. Immediately.

- I'll stay.
- Sorry. What was that?

- I'll stay.
- Ah, fab.

Now, on to other business.

[MARY] Archie, tell me what's going on.

I saw you and your father play
basketball practically every day.

You love it.

So why don't you want
to play on the team?

Is it because of Uncle Frank?

No.

No, it's not, Frank.

It's... Well, you said it, Mom.

Basketball was something
Dad and I did together.

Whenever I walk into a
gym or pick up a ball...

I think about Dad.

And suddenly it's like
there's an anvil on my heart.

And if I played, I just
know all I'd be thinking is

"I wish Dad were here
watching me from the stands."

I understand.

I wish that too.

And then there's the other thing.

If I played...

What if I wasn't good enough?

What if I tarnished Dad's memory?

Oh, Archie.

I know Frank suggested that your father

wouldn't be proud of you,
but that is simply not true.

Your father would be so proud.

Listen, you don't have to play
basketball if you don't want to.

But nothing would make
your father happier

than to see you play on his team.

Maybe even wearing his number.

Nothing would make me happier, too.

And one way or the other,

I'm going to ask Frank
to ease up on you.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

[DOOR CLOSES]

Mr. Rayberry, I...

really hope you don't get
upset, but I read your novel.

[CHUCKLES]

Golly, I... I loved it.

- You have got to get this published.
- Eh.

Just a minute. You...
You stole my manuscript?

Only for a night.

You are as much of a
thief as Fieldstone.

Oh, Mr. Rayberry, please, I...

No, get out of here.

Give me my manuscript.

Yeah, no, I'll go.

But you have got to get this published.

- I can help you...
- Get out of my house.

Pretty swinging how you gave
that Evernever chick what for.

I always strive for the
best cheer team possible.

Well...

I'd like to show you my appreciation.

Would that be okay?

Mo... More than okay.

♪ Lord, show me ♪

♪ If he really loves me ♪

♪ Tell me, does he ♪

♪ Truly care ♪

♪ Give the love... ♪

[SIGHS] This isn't exactly what I
imagined our stakeout would be like.

What exactly did you imagine?

Truthfully? Jimmy Stewart and
Grace Kelly in Rear Window.

[BETTY] Hmm.

[VERONICA] Hello.

We interrupt your regularly
scheduled programming

with an emergency flutter bum alert.

God bless America.

[CHUCKLES]

Stand back, Ringling Brothers,

because this is the
greatest show on Earth.

Ooh, do you have binoculars?

Never mind.

We don't even need them with the
size of Archie's bulging... muscles.

- [GASPS]
- Mayday. Duck and cover.

Oh, my God, I should have known.

The same thing happened
to Jimmy Stewart.

Yeah, but at least he was
trying to catch a m*rder*r.

We're just peeping Patties.

Ugh!

[CHUCKLES]

[STUDENTS CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

[VERONICA] Did you get any sleep?

- [SIGHS] Not a wink. You?
- The same.

But it gave me time to
think. And if he did see us,

then he's probably just
as embarrassed as we are,

and won't say a word about it.

I mean, it's positively shameless.

The way he struts around
like a... like a peacock,

flashing those absurd
abdominal muscles over there...

[ARCHIE CLEARS THROAT]

Howdy, ladies.

How's it going?

Archie, good morning.

Veronica, would you mind
giving Betty and I a minute?

In... In private?

- Of course. Betty, we'll catch up anon.
- Mmm.

Archie... keep up the good work.

So, I...

saw you and Veronica last night.

Looking at me.

Oh, sorry, I don't know
what you're talking about.

Betty, it's okay.

I liked it.

You know, my uncle's got me
real busy during the day, but...

every night I end up in my room.

Every night I end up in my bedroom, too.

What if we ended up in our bedrooms,

you know, at the same time?

And...

looked at each other?

How about tonight? Say midnight?

Yeah, I'll be there.

Same.

And I'll be wearing something special.

Okay.

All right. Well, I gotta...
I gotta run to the gym, Betty,

but, yeah, I sure am excited.

Betty, I'm really excited.

[CHUCKLES] Me too. I'm
like, beyond excited.

Hey, water-boy, stay on the sidelines.

Court's for players only.

Good.

'Cause I'm here to play.

You can't just let
him on the team, Coach.

How do we even know if he's any good?

[SCOFFS]

Any other questions?

All right then, let's keep warming up.

I'm not doing this for you, Uncle Frank.

I'm doing this for myself.

And for my mom, and my dad.

I respect that, Archie.

[THORNTON] Dr. Werthers,

I confiscated this from
Dilton Doiley today.

It is like fighting a
hydra, Mrs. Thornton.

Cut off one head, another
grows in its place.

Yes, except this particular head
was written by one of our students,

Jughead Jones.

♪ Tell me where do they go ♪

♪ The smoke rings I blow each night ♪

♪ What do they do ♪

♪ Those circles of blue and white ♪

♪ Why do they seem ♪

♪ To picture a dream of love ♪

♪ Why do they fade ♪

♪ My phantom parade of love ♪

♪ Puff puff puff ♪

♪ Puff your cares away ♪

♪ Puff puff puff ♪

♪ Night and day ♪

♪ Blow blow them through the air ♪

♪ Silky little rings ♪

♪ Those little smoke rings I love ♪

♪ Please take me above with you ♪

♪ Blow blow them through the air ♪

♪ Silky little rings ♪

[DOOR OPENS]

- Betty.
- [DOOR OPENS]

What in the actual
hell is going on here?

What in God's name are you doing?

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[BELL DINGING]