01x05 - Ha-Lay-Lay-Ween

[bunniefuu]

"Pumpkins." [laughs]

Such a dumb word.

It is dumb, but this is
your first Halloween.

We had to make jack-o'-lanterns.

Ooh, let's see yours.

Okay, I made mine look like you.

Is that me right after
I got hit by a truck?

Okay. Let me see yours.

Cute. Who's it supposed to be?

Oh, let's go over my list
of Halloween fun facts

so it won't seem so obvious
this is your first Halloween.

Okay. I'm ready and I read it.

FYI, a reminder to brush your teeth

after eating Halloween candy
is not a fun fact.

Well, let's see what you remember,
'cause it's time for…

a Halloween pop quiz!

First question.

What fruit do Halloweeners bob for?

Bananas.

[imitates buzzer]

Oh, I'm sorry, but the answer

we were looking for was "apples."

Uh, I think you need to check your facts.

Now, for a chocolate bar with no raisins,

describe a ghost.

Oh, that's easy.

Ghosts have big fangs
and "vant to suck your blood."

[imitates buzzer] Those are vampires.

Ghosts are, like,
see-through people you can't touch,

but they're not real.

How do you know?

You thought the person
popping out of your phone wasn't real,

but yet here I am.

[spooky upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[with Valley girl accent]
We are such Bettys in these costumes.

Right? Totally.

You think anyone can b*at this?

[laughs] As if.

Happy Halloween.

Aw, cute.

You're dressed up like a flower.

Does this look like a flower?

[growls]

Okay, you're an angry flower?

I'm a Demogorgon.

I'm pretty sure you're the only one
who knows what that is.

Hey, nice Demogorgon, Miller.

I could have made you
a better one in shop class

for, um, bucks.

What's your costume, Mr. Patcher?

Mm, I am a high school shop teacher

who is struggling to make ends meet.

Same thing I've gone as
for the last years,

but this year,
I feel like I really nailed it.

-Willingham.
-Patcher.

Okay, listen up delinquents,

there will be no pranking on my watch.

Not today. Not in my school.

Cute costume, P. Willy.

Oh, what are you?

A strawberry with wings.

No, I'm clearly a ladybug.

I even have the matching shoes.

Which I'm using to walk away from you.

They are at it again,
Principal Willingham.

Julia Peterson thought it would be funny

to stick a jack-o'-lantern
on poor Jalen's head.

And I've got the whole thing recorded.

Gonna post it online
for all my followers to see.

I mean, so others can learn
what is inappropriate behavior.

♪ ♪

Willingham doesn't need
to tell me not to do pranks,

not with the ghost of Old Man Packer
haunting the school.

Who is Old Man Packer?

You don't know the legend
of Old Man Packer, new girl?

He was a teacher here years ago.

He's even older than Willingham.

[together] Whoa.

They say he hated Halloween so much

that he banned candy and costumes
from the school.

Total jerky old man move, right?

Yeah.

So some kids pranked him on Halloween,

and it scared him so much,
he d*ed, like, here.

Major ew.

Now he haunts the school on Halloween,

slapping his palms with his ruler.

Sadie, what kind of bestie are you?

The bestest bestie better than the restie.

You didn't tell me there was
a ghost in this school.

I wanna see it.

Oh, no you don't.

Every Halloween, some kid sneaks
into the school after it's closed,

and Old Man Packer
scares the snot out of them.

I want the snot scared out of me.

Trust me, ghosts aren't real.

Keep your snot where it belongs.

♪ ♪

Hey, I need you to clean a table.

Oh, and don't forget
to promote tonight's special,

the Halloween Weenie.

It's a regular hot dog,
smothered in pumpkin sauce.

I don't know how it tastes,
but I know it's on theme.

Ah, neat. You're a light bulb.

Incorrect. I'm a bright idea.

[bell chimes]

I've got that coffin you asked for.

The shop teacher
from my sister's school built it.

He works for cheap.

Yep.

If you ask a favor of me and, in return,
offer me free Sloppy LL Cool Joe's,

that favor's getting done, son.

Oh, this is perfect.

I'm gonna pop out of the coffin
in front of the customers.

Nothing works up people's appetites
more than terror.

Here's the key.

Why does a coffin have a key?

Added that little upgrade for free.

I'll take payment for the coffin.

You said I could press the red button
that makes the car bounce.

Slow your roll, undertaker.

This isn't a car. Its name is Omar.

[wolf howls]

Wow. Halloween mode?
I gotta hit that button.

Well, that's not happening

until I inspect the merchandise.

I didn't even let my sister hit it

after she came back
from the International Space Station.

Ooh, velvet. This is cozy.

Close it so I can get the full effect.

Oh, it fits.

Okay, let me out.

Uh-oh.

Stop messing around. Let me out.

I'm not messing around.

It's stuck.

The kid's right. It won't open.

In my defense, this is
the first coffin I built.

I'm really more of a birdhouse guy.

Well, you get what you pay for, Woody.

I didn't pay for this!

You want me to get
my fire axe out of my trunk,

and I could hack this bad boy to pieces?

I'm in here!

So is that a yes or a no?

♪ ♪

Okay, it's trick-or-treating time.

Hey, can you guys get out of the way?

I'm filming a vid about
the ghost of Old Man Packer

for my Halloween feed.

I'm making it extra creeptastic
with a special filter.

And her.

Boo.

I wanna hear more about Old Man Packer.

That's what I'm counting on.

OMP is total clickbait.

When you hear the bell ring three times…

[whispers] …Old Man Packer is coming.

Way to sell it, Gigi.

And this is why I brought you
onboard for this.

Nobody wants to be caught
at school after hours

because Old Man Packer will come for them

and put them in eternal detention.

Whoa.

This ghost sounds so cool!

It's just a story, Lay Lay.

Don't yuck my yum. I'm loving this.

Tonight, Gigi and I are hanging out here
until the school closes.

We're gonna play a prank
on Old Man Packer to make him angry.

You guys should get out of here,
or you might end up one of his victims.

If you guys can hang out here

until Old Man Packer shows ups, so can we.

No, we cannot.

And I'm not saying that
because we're afraid.

I'm saying it
because it's against the rules.

Sadie, you said you wanted me
to have the best Halloween ever.

This would be the best Halloween.

But we were gonna go trick-or-treating

and then come and watch
scary movies with my parents

and bob for bananas.

Now that I say it out loud,
it sounds awful.

What's the prank?

Normally, I'd cover up
this place with mice tails,

but my mice guy was fresh out.

Ooh, we could always cover
the halls in toilet paper, huh?

Oh, sorry, we can't all
have a mice guy, Gigi.

Toilet paper it is.
Solid prank option, Miller.

[chuckles] I am a bit of a bad boy.

Oh, yeah. You look so bad.

I can definitely see a ghost teacher

getting mad at toilet paper.

Can we do it, Sadie?
Please, please, please, please, please?

Okay, we'll stay.

Maybe we can actually prove to everyone

that there's no such thing
as the ghost of Old Man Packer.

Gather your supplies
and meet us here in an hour,

just before the sun goes down.

Bye!

I don't like her,

but I like the way she Halloweens.

♪ I'm Sadie's affirmation app ♪

♪ And so no matter what happens
I got her back ♪

♪ 'Cause see, my homey Sadie
Wished on a star ♪

♪ She said, "I wish you were real"
Now I'm as real as you are ♪

-♪ And now who's coming out the app? ♪
-♪ That girl Lay Lay ♪

-♪ Who's avatar power is to freeze? ♪
-♪ That girl Lay Lay ♪

♪ All day, all day, it's your girl ♪

♪ That girl, that girl, that girl
That girl Lay Lay ♪

[spooky upbeat music]

All right, ghosts. Here I come.

What am I looking at?

I went to the physics lab
and managed to rustle up

some paranormal investigation equipment.

You were supposed to get toilet paper.

But now I can protect us from ghosts.

You're welcome

Guys, check this out.

I found the Halloween jackpot
in Willingham's desk.

It's all the candy
she's confiscated this year.

Whoa. Nice work.

You got all the candy
for none of the walking.

You out-tricked trick-or-treating.

Up top.

-Oh.
-Ooh.

This EMF sensor will detect
any energy fluctuations.

Also, it might go off
if my hands get too sweaty,

but if there's a ghost nearby,

we'll know it.

And if there isn't, I'll be right,

and you'll still be dressed like that.

We got toilet paper
from the teacher's lounge.

Do not go in there.

TP doesn't really need
to be a three-ply for a prank,

but it's a nice touch.

What are we waiting for?

It's TP time.

[bell rings]

What was that?

The school bell.

That rings.

Because we're in a school.

[bell rings]

A second bell? What's going on guys?

Put your guesses in the chat.

-[device beeping]
-I'm registering activity.

What bell did you say
Old Man Packer comes on?

[bell rings]

[together] The third bell!

[all screaming]

I am so out of here!

[screaming]

Guys, stop.

It's just a school bell.

It's not just a school bell, Sadie.

He's coming.

[all scream]

We're all doomed!

Look, I'm really sorry I made us do this.

And I'm sorry I was right about ghosts.

If I have to sit
through eternal detention,

at least I'll be there
with my best friends.

And you, Tiffany.

-Boo!
-[all scream]

[both laugh]

You totally fell for it.

It was us the whole time.

You just pranked us?

We sure did.

And we livestreamed the whole thing.

Happy Halloween, future viral video stars.

[both cackle]

[device beeping]

Huh. No ghost.

My hands just got too sweaty.

♪ ♪

Halloween is one of our busiest nights.

Hurry up and get me out of this coffin.

We tried, Woody, but it's locked.

This is all your fault.

You and your janky shop teacher skill.

Geez, I mean, I'd argue with you,
but you're totally right.

If I'd only managed
to do three more pushups,

I could have been a gym teacher.

Use the key to get me out of this thing.

We gave you the key.

Oh, right. It's in my pocket.

Let me see if I can
shimmy it up to the hole.

[grunts] Almost got it.

-[keys clatter]
-Ugh, I dropped it.

Now, what are we gonna do?

How about we flip the coffin upside down,
and the key falls where we can reach it?

-That's a good idea.
-[bell chimes]

Turn off that stupid hat.
That's not a good idea.

I'm still in here.

Let's talk about this first!

[screaming and whining]

Ah, ooh, ow, ah, ow!

Shake it. I haven't heard the key fall.

[Woody] Why do you hate me, Halloween?

-Shake it harder.

[Woody] Not harder!

I am in here!

It's not working.

[Woody] Ah, ooh, ah, ah, ow, ow, ow!

I think I swallowed my tongue.

This isn't working.

I'm just gonna hit the button
and get outta here.

Hey, why isn't the car bouncing?

I disabled it, Marky.

You've got me locked in here,
and I'm losing money.

-Huh.
-[bell chimes]

I can't get you out of the box,

but I can help you make money.

Let me run the place tonight.

Run the place? Are you even ten?

Let me read my résumé to you, Woody.

"You're stuck in a coffin. Hire me."

That is better than my résumé.

♪ ♪

[laughter]

You were like, "No!"

And you were all, "My name's Lay Lay,

and I'm so affray-fraid."

I don't sound like that.

Seeing the terror on your faces was
totally worth putting up with Tiffany.

Hey, I was promised a real ghost sighting.

We're gonna keep pranking
until that ghost shows up.

I don't mind causing some trouble.

Why won't anyone listen to me?

Old Man Packer's not real.

[device beeping]

Guys, my ghost meter is going nuts.

Something's coming.

[ominous music]

Whoa, this lighting is
creepier than my bedroom.

I like it.

Uh, anyone else notice spooky smoke
coming down the stairs?

Come on, Tiffany.

You rented a smoke machine?

Don't you already have enough footage?

Um, that's not me.

Then who is it?

Not who, what?

Look!

[screams]

It's Old Man Packer!

Pranksters must be punished!

Let's get out of here!

[all screaming]

Okay, I admit,

I was wrong about ghosts being real.

I admit that now that I'm scared,
I don't wanna be scared.

Jeremy's my middle name!
My real name's Linus!

I wouldn't tell anybody that.

The only other exit is down that hallway.

I say we make a run for it.

He's an old man ghost.
Maybe his hips are bad.

Go, go, go.

-My candy.
-Just leave it!

It's the Halloween candy motherlode!

-[screams]
-Going somewhere?

Run, Lay Lay!

I can't! There's a ghost in front of me.

It's a phantom. Just run through it!

Okay, Linus.

Ooh!

Okay, let's get out of here.

Why'd do you freeze time?
We could have all ran out.

Sadie, either I've got
my Halloween facts mixed up again,

or that's not a real ghost.

What ghost wears ladybug shoes?

This isn't a ghost.
It's Principal Willingham.

Oh, P. Willy!

And there's wires
attaching her to the ceiling.

Ms. Calloway?

She's using this remote
to make Willingham fly around.

Dang, these teachers are sneaky.

But we can be sneakier.

Get out your phone, Sadie.
We're about to make a movie.

Why not just get outta here?

Because Tiffany and Gigi got us.

That means they need to get got.

[all screaming]

Oh, no, we're trapped!

Now we're about to have some fun.

I need four BoomBox burgers,
two orders of Straight Outta Cornbread,

and one Return of the Mac and Cheese.

Push the Halloween Weenie, Marky!

I got six barrels
of pumpkin sauce in the back.

Don't worry, Woody, I got you.

Yeah, you got me in a box.

Now make me some money.

Hey, Woody, your TVs
are looking a little fuzzy.

Let me fix that for you.

No, no, don't touch those!

You blew a fuse. Now the power's out.

Whoops.

That's a little bit more than a "whoops."

The register isn't working.
Now we can't take any payments.

I guess that means everything's free!

Free? Free?

Nothing's free!

[grunts]

Alive.

I'm alive!

Oh, my legs fell asleep in the coffin.

He's freaking people out.

You gotta do something,
or they're all gonna leave.

You're right. It's manager Marky time.

Look, everyone,
it's a money hungry vampire.

As soon as I get
the feeling back in my legs,

all of you's gonna pay!

You're getting dinner and a show.

Give him a round of applause,

and big tips.

Yes, yes, I vant all your money.

Ah. Ooh, ones.

We're doing this again next year.

The power's back on.

I did not do that.

It's a good thing.

Oh, then I did.

Now can I press the button?

Knock yourself out, kid. You earned it.

[car alarm beeps]

Yes.

-[wolf howling]
-[hip-hop music]

Best Halloween ever.

[spooky upbeat music]

I think the ghost is getting angrier.

[deep voice] Please stop!

If this is the end,

I want you all to know

I'm sorry for being so mean.

I'm just afraid of rejection.

And I have a confession to make too.

At home, all I wear are unicorn T-shirts.

[both sob]

Okay, Lay Lay, you can shut it down now.

I'm trying, Sadie,
but the remote's not working.

Ow!

[all gasp]

[pained grunting]

Uh, I'm starting to think
that's not a real ghost.

[grunts]

[all gasp]

It's not a dead, old teacher.
It's a live, old principal.

Who has the power to put you
in detention for a month.

Did I mention how that costume
brings out your eyes?

Has anyone seen
a remote control around here?

-Here you go.
-What?

How did you get it?

I don't explain my pranks.

Just know you all got got.

And we livestreamed it too.

Wait, why were you pretending

to be Old Man Packer,
Principal Willingham?

Every year, kids like you

sneak into the school to TP the halls.

We thought an Old Man Packer sighting

would keep the pranksters out of here.

And we would've gotten away with it, too,
if it weren't for you meddling kids.

Well, you gave us a really good scare.

Please. I wasn't scared.

Okay, maybe a little.

We all were, but that's
what made it a fun Halloween.

Lay Lay's right.

This was one of the best Halloweens ever.

-[bell rings]
-[thunderclap]

[ethereal moaning]

I thought we were done
with this whole prank thing.

That's not us.

So that means it's…

[together] Old Man Packer!

[all screaming]

Uh-uh, ain't no way
I'm leaving this candy.