Trust me.
I know what I'm doing.
'All perpetrators hit.
No civilians.
Almost perfect.
'28 seconds exactly.
' qualifying as fastest g*n this year.
Just remember who you're talking to.
I was born with a g*n in my hand.
That's why I could never get baby
-sitters.
'Next up, Inspector Sledge Hammer.
' Let's get out of here!
- Is that a sil*ncer?
- No, it's not a sil*ncer.
This little doo
-dad is my own invention.
- I call it a loudener.
- A loudener? Hammer, you were not supposed to sh**t all the targets.
- Just the bad guys!
- Right, right, right.
I had no idea! I don't know where my head's at.
Results are in
- Inspector Hammer is the winner, with 27 seconds in speed, This is two seconds off the all
-time record.
Congratulations, Hammer.
Just admit it.
There's no one alive who's better with a g*n than me.
And if there were, whoever it is would still be alive.
You're the only man I know who can't win gracefully.
My father was the greatest sharpsh**ter of all time.
He taught me that a g*n is a dangerous w*apon and if used properly, can be wonderfuI entertainment.
- sh**t everything that moves.
- Hammer! You still haven't broken the all
-time departmentaI record held by John Kogan.
Oh, yeah? That record should have been struck from the books years ago.
- I hate the mention of his name.
- I know.
That's why I brought it up! Hammer.
- Doreau, is that you?
- Of course it's me.
Listen.
What is with this get
-up? Are you dating a congressman? They called me to go undercover.
I've been posing as a call girI.
That's about as far undercover as you can go.
Hammer, please.
This is important.
A sleazy lowlife has been spreading rumours in the city.
He said someone is planning to break out of prison and k*ll you.
Who? What? When? Where? How? Why? Well, probably 100 reasons why.
The snitch is willing to give us information for a price.
This information.
Hold this.
OK.
Be at the last payphone in the lobby at the RegaI Ambassador HoteI in 20 minutes.
- He'll call you there.
- I thought you said he was a lowlife.
Maybe he's trying to move up in the world.
Yeah.
Become a better class of scum.
- Hello?
- 'Is that you, Sledge Hammer?' Yeah.
Look, I'm sorry I'm late.
'Look, I'm taking a big risk here.
'Try not to draw attention to yourself.
' OK.
- What time is your flight?
- 3:30.
- Tell me where you are right now.
- 'I'm at the other end of the phone bank.
' Don't look at me! Now what's this information you've got? This guy's busting out of prison and coming to k*ll you.
- 'What's that worth to you?'
- Tell me how much.
- 25,000.
- Why, you egg
-sucking leach! Lower your voice! Don't look at me! Hey, it's scale.
Check the book.
We're union now, paI.
Listen, I can't get a hold of that kind of money.
I'm gonna have to check with my superior.
Hurry up.
We haven't got much time.
- 'Desk sergeant.
'
- Yeah.
This is Hammer.
- Get me Trunk, pronto.
- 'I think he went to Tino's for lunch.
- 'Let me check.
Hold on.
'
- Hey! Hey!
- What's going on?
- The captain went to lunch.
I'm going to try him at the restaurant.
- 'This telephone is out of order.
'
- Shut up! You
- What are you doing?
- Calling the restaurant.
Don't look at me!
- 'Inspector Hammer?'
- What? 'I just found out the captain went home for lunch but he could be back any moment.
' This is great.
I'll call him at home.
'This is Captain Trunk.
'I can't come to the phone right now so leave a message.
'If this is you, Hammer, never call me again at home.
' Look, I'm getting impatient! 'Inspector, the captain just walked in.
'
- Good.
Put him on.
- 'What's going on, Hammer?' Captain, I need you to authorise a $25,000 payment to an informer.
'$25,000?! Oh, that's right.
They went union.
- 'What's it for, Hammer?'
- For information!
- To prevent someone from k*lling me.
- 'Forget it.
' Hey! What's it gonna be?
- Look
- 'Deposit 35 cents.
' Listen, you blood sucker, I've had enough.
I'm giving you 2,000 bucks and that's it.
At least contribute to my dentaI plan.
Why? You're not going to have any teeth in your mouth if you don't start talking.
Now, when is this prison break supposed to happen? Right now.
Hey, long legs.
Is it hot enough for you? Hurry up, doll! Look under the mat! I brought your things just like you said.
It's nice to see you.
Come here, you.
Now get out of here.
I've got a cop to k*ll.
You can't leave me here.
It's 130 degrees! Yeah, but it's a dry heat.
A prisoner just escaped during transfer.
I know.
By the time the stoolie talked, it was old news.
- Do I know this slimeball?
- He hasn't been identified yet.
'We switch you now to an on
-the
-scene interview.
Here is David King.
' 'I'm David King, standing inside a prison bus 'that was h*jacked not more than ten minutes ago.
'Sir, you've escaped prison, commandeered an armoured bus filled with weapons, 'and abandoned a very attractive woman in the desert.
- 'What's next?'
- 'I want to see Europe.
'Give me that microphone, you polyester piece of trash.
'I'm free! I'm free at last! 'And I'm gonna tear this stinking city apart 'untiI my old friend Sledge Hammer joins me for a little reunion.
'One on one.
A showdown! 'Just like the old days.
You know the place, Sledge.
'Are you watching, Hammer? Please.
You owe it to me.
'Let me k*ll you! 'And I promise I'll never ever do it again!' 'This is David King saying goodbye.
' 'Say goodbye forever, you insect!' My God, Hammer, you know that man? Yeah.
I know him.
Who on earth is he? His name is John Kogan.
He and Hammer go way back.
He's an animaI.
Why on earth would he want to k*ll you? It's simple.
I was his best friend.
Come on, Captain, stop pussyfooting around.
I'll be happy to go mano
-o
-mano with Kogan.
Hammer, It is not the policy of my precinct to give in to the demands of criminals.
- I'm always happy to take requests.
- No, Hammer!
- Not while you're under my command.
- Then suspend me.
I'll act privately.
You won't be responsible.
No, Hammer.
I see what you're trying to do.
I don't want you on the streets.
So I'm keeping you on the force.
I'm going to transfer you for now.
To personneI.
- PersonneI?
- That's right.
Kogan's gonna leveI this entire city.
I know this man.
He is bad.
His childhood goaI was to be an astronaut.
He wanted to be the first man to k*ll somebody on the moon.
Hammer, it's one individuaI on a bus.
How much damage can he do? 'Escaped convict John Kogan continues his tour of terror.
'While Kogan moves from city to city, coast to coast, 'a fearfuI public waits breathlessly, 'not knowing how, why, where or when this enemy will strike next.
'John Kogan, coming to a city near you, soon.
'
- He's broken through the road block.
- And the SWAT team?
- Wiped out.
- NationaI Guard? They refuse to get involved.
You've got to fight fire with fire.
Let me be a bus stop.
- No, Hammer.
- Put me on suspension.
Absolutely not, Hammer.
Then I have no choice but to make you.
Hammer, don't even try it.
No, Hammer.
This should do it.
Do your duty.
Put me on suspension.
Hammer, you're not even close.
Well, this should work.
Gross insubordination, right? Hammer! There is nothing you can do to make me put you on suspension.
Now get out of my office.
Hey, Hammer, any more of your acquaintances bust out of prison today? Hammer, you got a phone call from your old friend Jack the Ripper.
I think he's chicken.
They ought to make a movie about him called The Colour Yellow.
I'm not chicken.
Trunk is.
He's afraid of what I'd do if I went one on one with Kogan.
I'd sh**t him.
I'd sh**t all of him if I didn't have so much filing to do.
Hammer, I want those files on my desk now! Hammer! Think about it, Hammer! Don't do it! Hammer! How's that for service? I'm in trouble, right? I have no other choice, Hammer.
You're on suspension.
Are you happy? Thank you very much.
This means a lot to me.
Get out.
Now I can do what I do best.
I won't be respons I'm not gonna be responsible for what happens out there! What are you standing around for? Get to work! What do you want? Why don't you want Hammer to go? Are you afraid he'll k*ll Kogan? On the contrary, Doreau.
Kogan will k*ll Hammer.
- He's a faster g*n than Hammer.
- What?
- Are you sure?
- Kogan was Hammer's first partner.
They knew each other when they were kids.
They were like brothers.
Put that on the air.
Tell Kogan I'll meet him at the place he mentioned.
For a showdown.
'Come on, partner.
It's time for a showdown.
' On the count of three, go for your g*n.
One two three.
Got you again, Sledgy.
Sledgy
- Sledge? Sledge!
- What? Oh.
- What's the matter? You're sweating.
- Yeah.
Well, it's pretty hot in here.
Trunk told me that Kogan was your partner.
What happened? It's a long story.
We grew up together.
We were best friends.
He went bad.
Well, I guess it's not a long story.
We joined the Police Academy together.
We were partners.
That was before I was made inspector.
- How did he end up in prison?
- I hunted him down and I put him there.
And all for that day when he betrayed me and the badge.
I'm sure that if we talk about this we can work something out.
- Shut up, dirtbag.
- What do you guys make in one year? Nothing, right? You see this suit? This suit is 400 bucks.
- Are you offering us a bribe?
- No, I'm offering you my suit.
Naturally I'm offering you a bribe, you idiot.
Don't be ridiculous.
You can't bribe us.
- Wait a minute.
How much?
- Ten grand.
John, what are you doing? You'd take a fall for a lousy ten grand? Of course not.
Make it twelve.
Thanks, Sledge.
Sure.
Anything.
I just don't want to miss happy hour.
Kogan, this is illegaI.
So is this.
You know what your problem is, Hammer? You're too good.
There are no heroes in this world, man.
And there never were! Come on.
I can't do it.
So I guess it's just you and me from now on.
If you're going after Kogan, what are you doing here? I gotta sharpen my skills.
I grew up around carnivals and this peace and quiet helps me to relax.
Trunk told me your father was a sharpsh**ter in the circus.
- Trunk told you that?
- Yeah.
- You think it's funny.
- No, I don't think it's funny.
When my dad d*ed, he left me two things
- my name and my compadre right here.
Impress the lady.
b*at Dead Eye Dan, win a prize.
Dan, do you remember me? Sledge Hammer.
Holy catfish! Little Sledge Hammer! Jack's boy! Well, I'll be! Doreau, next to my dad, Dan was the greatest sharpsh**ter of all time.
- Well
- Well, you were.
Ain't much call for a sharpsh**ter these days.
I hate to bother you but do you remember that trick my dad used to do? Do I! When I saw him perform that trick, he left the audience speechless.
How many times did he do it? Just once.
Dan, I need to know how that trick is done.
I promised your daddy I'd never tell.
I mean, it was a solemn promise.
I understand.
Wait a minute.
Come back.
If your daddy had lived, he'd have told you.
Ahem.
- What is this place?
- We used to play here as kids.
You really think he's going to show? I guess so.
Long time no see, Sledge.
- She a gift for me?
- She's my new partner.
An honest cop.
You better step back, Doreau.
If I don't walk away from this, you promise me one thing.
- What's that?
- Tell Trunk I won't be in in the morning.
Don't worry, baby.
I'll give you a ride home later.
You know, Sledge, you and I are really a lot alike.
- Don't you think so?
- No, Kogan.
- I got a badge.
- Yeah? Well, I got a bus.
What makes you think you're better than me? I don't know.
I dress better.
What's the difference?
- You're here to try to k*ll me, right?
- I'm not here to try.
- I'm gonna k*ll you.
- Go ahead.
Make my day.
You're the disease.
I'm the cure.
May the force be with you Forget the cliches! Let's get this over with.
Remember this game, Sledgy? I used to make you sweat pretty good.
Hey, you're supposed to sh**t me, not my g*n! Hey, quit sh**ting my g*n! If you wanna k*ll me, k*ll me.
OK.
With my last b*llet, I'm going to blow you away.
- I've won again.
- A loser never wins.
Hammer! Thank you, Dad.
That's amazing! Enough hype, Doreau.
Here.
Why don't you follow me back to headquarters, huh? Put Kogan somewhere where you can keep your eye on him.
I will.
Congratulations, first for being taken off suspension and second for becoming the fastest g*n.
Yeah, you know how I feeI about these things.
I guess I really owe this to you, huh? Oh, thank you, Hammer.
That's very nice of you.
And I owe this to you.
Captain, that was excessively violent and completely unnecessary.
I love that! I love when that happens.
When you break something.
I love to see it.
Did you see how it blew up? Did you see it?