Good morning, men. Dietrich.
Good morning, inspector.
Barney in?
He just stepped
out for a second.
Oh.
Yeah, I got a couple of minutes.
Whew.
A real scorcher, hmm?
I beg your pardon?
The heat... The heat,
especially for october.
Yeah.
You could fry an egg
on the sidewalk out there.
Mm-hmm.
You're not much of a
conversationalist, are you?
No, I guess not.
It's okay. You're
a good cop, huh?
Ah, inspector.
Hey, barney.
How goes it?
Boy, a real scorcher
out there, huh?
Oh, yeah.
What brings you
around, inspector?
Well, barney, I just
thought I'd stop by,
See how things are
going along, you know?
It, uh, it inspires the men
If the big brass drop around
occasionally, you know?
Give them a little smile,
huh? A little pat on the rump.
You know, morale's
the thing, barney.
I see.
Sure.
Any problems, barney?
No, no. Everything's fine.
Good. Good.
How about you, dietrich?
Enjoying your work?
More than I can say.
Good boy. Way to go, huh?
Harris, how about you?
You need a little
pumping up, maybe,
And a little pat on the po-po?
Oh, uh, no. Thank
you, inspector.
I'm just dandy.
Are you? Good. What
about wojo and nick?
Wojo's out.
Nick's at the d.a.'S
office for a while,
But they're fine...
Happy as kittens.
Good. Good.
Well, maybe I'll
just go downstairs
And take a gander at
the uniforms, you know?
Sometimes a few
of them down there
Feel down in the dumps
Because they don't
get to wear classy suits
Like you and me, right, har?
You and who?
I'm sure they'd
appreciate that, inspector.
You think so, huh?
Boy, it's really a
scorcher, though, isn't it?
Yeah, it kind of makes
a man go limp all over,
In a manner of speaking, barney.
Not really though, huh? Watch.
See you later, barney.
Here we are. Right over there.
Good morning, harris.
You know, I'm actually
happy you caught me.
Well, we're kind of
thrilled ourselves.
Have a seat.
What's that all about?
It's, uh, gerald morris.
He was shoplifting over
at kotterman's market.
Shoplifting... It's a
bourgeois concept.
Book him.
For shoplifting?
Do you have any
other suggestions?
You really don't know who I am?
Gerald morris?
No, I'm not gerald morris.
That's what his
driver's license said.
I got different licenses.
Gerald morris, morris phillips,
Philip morris, helen hayes.
I take it you're none
of these people.
I'm jonathan dodd.
Fine. Book mr. Dodd.
Wait a minute. I just
said I'm jonathan dodd.
Hey.
The fbi and the u.s. Marshal
Have been looking
for me for nine years.
What for?
You don't know?
Uh, no, but it's, uh...
Very generous of you to tell us.
Confession is good for the soul.
We like to think so, yes.
Barn.
"Jonathan dodd.
" ... Violation of
selective service law,
" ... Conspiracy
to incite v*olence,
" ... Illegal
possession of expl*sives,
... Attempted bombing
of u.s. m*llitary base."
I stopped the w*r.
I apologize for not
remembering you.
Forget it.
Have a seat, mr. Dodd.
Wojo, as soon as you finish
booking him, call the fbi.
Yeah.
And, listen, I'm not talking
to the fbi or the reporters
Or anybody until I
make my phone call.
Fine.
Oh.
Okay.
Hello. Abbie?
Do you expect him back?
You wouldn't have
his new number...
Thanks anyway.
"Cleaver, davis," kunstler...
Bill and emily."
No, they've got
problems of their own.
So, what's going on?
Just normal procedure, mr. Dodd.
I'm still not talking to the
reporters or the newspeople.
I'll tell them...
If any show up.
And where's the fbi, anyway?
That was them on the phone.
They'll be over as soon as
they can shake an agent loose.
Could be a day or two.
A day or two?
Sorry.
That place has
really fallen apart
Since hoover d*ed.
Come on, I'm gonna
put you in the cage now.
I haven't made
my phone call yet.
You made of them.
Everybody's moved.
That ain't our, uh...
Okay. You know, sure.
Go and make your phone call.
Uh, you want to get
through that door, please?
What is that, sarcasm?
This is our burglar?
Anthony marola... Broke
into a first-floor apartment
Over on th street.
We apprehended him
in a bathroom, barn.
He tried to escape
through this little window.
It wasn't a pretty sight.
We caught him with all the stuff
From the apartment, barn...
Watches, jewelry,
little vienna sausages.
You ever try those?
They're incredible.
Take them all and book him.
That's it?
For my part, yes.
No snide comment?
No veiled expressions
of disgust?
About what?
"About
what"? Come on!
We've been dancing
all around it.
I know that I'm an object
of revulsion to people,
So why don't you just
go ahead and say it?
Mr. Marola, you're being
arrested for burglary,
Not gluttony.
Uh, mr. Marola,
over here, please.
Take a seat.
Just one?
See what I mean?
So, what were you
doing in the ' s, anyway?
I was in the service.
Over there?
Yeah.
In the cage.
So, what were you?
I was a marine.
Of course.
One of those macho crew-cuts
Who gets their kicks
sh**ting off g*ns.
Maybe so.
Well, aren't we well-adjusted?
Address?
In this society,
It's a crime not to be perfect.
Address.
But you'll find out what I mean.
Pardon me?
I can always spot people
Who are going
to end up like this.
Are you referring to me?
I can see it in your cheeks.
They're puffy.
- That's muscle.
- Muscle.
Look, I will never
have a weight problem.
I am genetically svelte.
Come on, mr. Marola.
We're going to put
you in that little cage.
Hi, curly.
Where'd you pick up el blimpo?
Uh, he's harris and
dietrich's collar.
Hey!
This cell wasn't made
for this many people.
Just be thankful you
got a place to sit down.
Who's the malcontent?
Uh, his name is jonathan dodd.
Dodd?
Yeah, we picked him up this
morning for shoplifting.
The fbi's been looking
for him for nine years.
Oh, one of them
yippie types, huh?
Inciting riots,
bombings. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Well,
there, now, mr. Dodd.
Quite the busy little
beaver, aren't we?
I didn't catch the name.
Luger.
Inspector frank luger, nypd.
Inspector.
That's about as high
as a pig can get, isn't it?
Hey!
I'm used to that kind of talk.
It don't bother me, wojo.
I've dealt with this
kind of vermin before,
Back in, what, ' ,
Directing crowd control
at columbia university.
I was there, too.
Were you really?
Well... Occupying
the classrooms, huh?
Throwing the
rocks and the bricks
Through the windows, huh,
While our fine
young american boys
Were sailing across the ocean,
Putting their life on the
line for their country?
For their country?
Or for the oil companies and
for dow chemical and dupont?
You're full of horse...
Hey, just shut up
about it, all right?
Uh, dodd.
Now, look, you try
pulling them kind of tricks
In soviet russia, you
see where you wind up.
In jail?
Don't give me that, smart guy!
I've dealt with your
kind of people before!
I know how to...
I know how to...
Inspector, you all right?
Huh, yeah, it's just...
- The heat, heat.
- Barney.
Does your arm hurt?
Oh, no, it's just
a hot... Hot flash.
- What's the matter?
- Nothing.
Nothing, barney,
it's just probably
The fish sticks I
had for breakfast.
Get some cold water
and a wet towel.
Just take it easy.
Shortness of breath, nausea,
Pain radiating in the left arm.
His heart.
"Heart"... Don't be silly.
Just relax.
I'll call an ambulance, barn.
Not for me!
Inspector, please,
please. Just stay seated.
Sit down. All right, yeah.
- Here you go, inspector.
- Thanks.
Statistics show out
of heart-att*ck victims
At the time of their att*ck
deny they're having one.
It's just the heat, you know?
Woj, a real
scorcher. Honest. It's...
Out of .
Yeah, I know, but
this will be easier.
All right, you don't
have to fuss about me.
Here. All right.
Just take it easy.
Breathing any better now?
You're not gonna give me
That mouth-to-mouth
stuff, are you?
No, inspector, just
relax. Just take it easy.
Barn, the ambulance said they'll
be here as soon as they can.
I won't get in it.
It's just a precaution,
inspector. Take it easy.
Anything else we
should be doing?
No, barney, there's
nothing to do.
Just keep him as
comfortable as possible.
That's right.
Thanks.
Yeah.
You're sure you wouldn't...
Wouldn't like to lie down?
Barney, I don't
want to be a bother.
Just... You forget I'm
here. Go about your work,
Whatever you have to do, barney.
Okay.
They told me I'm gonna have
a heart att*ck in years
If I don't knock off
a hundred pounds.
Gee, that's too bad.
Hey, hey.
What happened to
your chief, anyway?
I mean, one minute we were
just talking, and the next...
You just keep your
mouth shut, okay, dodd?
Hey, what did I do?
A cheeseburger
knows you don't argue
With an old man
in this kind of heat.
We were having a dialogue.
Yeah, yeah, I heard it.
About us being over there
For all the oil companies
and all that cow poo.
Read the pentagon papers.
Well, let me tell you something.
I wasn't over there
And the guys I was
with weren't over there
For any oil companies or
dupont or dow chemical.
Yes, you were. Maybe
you just didn't know it.
Well, maybe if you
student creeps
Hadn't been over
here demonstrating
And giving aid and
comfort to the enemy,
The w*r might have
been over a lot sooner
And a few people might
not be dead today, right?
I was one of those
student creeps.
No. You were in the coast guard.
That was later.
You mean you were out
there turning over cars
And throwing rocks
with the rest of them?
Wojo, there were a lot of us
Protesting u.s.
Involvement aggressively,
But peacefully and lawfully.
Yeah.
Oh, really?
Can't argue with that.
Hey, arthur, I don't remember
seeing you out there.
I realized early on
that u.s. Involvement
Was a tragic mistake.
I came out against
the w*r in ' .
' .
' ?
Mm-hmm.
That's when eisenhower
first sent m*llitary advisors
Over to train south
vietnamese personnel.
Yeah, but in ' ,
you were only...
I was .
I got a scout badge for
international affairs.
Right this way.
Watch your head.
Thank you.
It doesn't bother me anymore.
- Ronnie!
- Hey, jonny.
How you been?
They finally got me.
Yeah, well, gee,
it's been a long time.
Can you believe
it's been years
Since we took over
the philosophy building?
So, why didn't you
keep in touch, guy?
You know, it's been
rough the last few years.
I had to stay underground.
But I wanted to. I
really wanted to.
Well, ditto here.
So, what are you doing now?
Huh?
What are you doing?
I sell life insurance, jonny.
Oh, god, no.
God doesn't tell you, barney.
I went up to vermont last
month to visit old brownie.
Really?
He's in a nursing home
up there, you know,
Laying in bed all day long,
Looking like so
much summer squash.
Maybe you'd better
not talk, inspector.
Just... Just... Okay.
Barney, if something
should happen to me,
Don't let them hook
me up to them machines
And all them hoses
to keep me going.
Inspector...
I want you to pull
out that plug for me.
Yank that tube
right out of my nose.
- There's no reason to...
- If that don't work, barney,
Just shove me out of
the bed onto the floor.
- Inspector, this is pointless.
- Barney, will you promise me?
Inspector, please.
Barney!
I promise. I'll
do it. I promise.
Thank you.
Just, just...
But first...
Make pretty damn
sure there's no hope.
I'll use my best judgment.
Remember, you're
a cop, not a doctor.
Jonathan, you can't
live in the ' s forever.
You get tired of all
the confrontation,
And you have to
let the wounds heal.
Yeah, everybody's getting
real cozy these days.
Chou en-lai's having
tea with nixon,
And jane fonda and john wayne
Are laughing it up like
nothing ever happened.
Martin and lewis.
They made up.
What, are you gonna
sell me a policy now?
Hey, come on, that's not fair.
Hey, hey.
Why don't you just
lay off, all right?
He's always been very volatile.
Yeah, I know what
he's always been,
And I know what he still is,
Which is more than I
can say for you, shorty.
Thank you.
Yeah, you're welcome.
Somebody having a
coronary up here?
Yeah, in here.
Open that cage.
Not him!
Not him?
No, it's not him!
Come on! In here!
What's going on in there?
It's an officer with a
possible heart att*ck.
Oh, I hope he has
full hospitalization.
Your union's coverage
is woefully inadequate.
Disgusting.
I'm ronald morantz. I
didn't get your name.
I didn't give it.
Excuse me.
Here you go.
I can walk.
Regulations, inspector.
Ah, regulations.
Never thought you'd
see the old inspector
Going out like this, huh?
Hey, you're gonna be okay.
You're scum and always will be.
Yeah, you hang in there, too.
Hold it a second. Hold it!
My hat.
Listen, barney, just in case
we don't have the opportunity
- To talk in the future...
- Inspector, please, it's not...
No, no, no, I want to say
this for the record, barney.
I've been a very lucky man
to have the opportunity
To serve and work with
what I consider to be
One of the finest
group of police officers
Ever assembled in the
history of the nypd.
You, too, levine.
Hey, dietrich and, uh, harris,
I want to apologize for
blowing my stack back there.
- Oh, forget it.
- Hey.
See, uh...
You can have all the
arguments you want
About why we were over there
And should we have been
over there and all that,
But you can't
really understand it
Unless you were there yourself.
I mean, uh...
I was over there, and I
still don't understand it.
Makes sense.
Oh, yeah.
Nothing from the hospital yet?
Uh, no.
Barney, I'm taking marola.
I'm gonna run him
over to the tombs.
Run me over? What
am i, a guernsey cow?
Th precinct. Wojciehowicz.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, you can tell me.
Sure.
It's the hospital.
Captain miller here.
Yeah, right. Well, how is he?
Oh?
That's too bad.
Yeah, well, thanks. Right.
What is it?
Oh, he's fine.
It's something they
call a cardiac fibulation.
Fibrillation.
She said it's very minor.
What was the "too bad" for?
Oh.
He slugged an intern.
Good for him.
What for?
They gave
him a sh*t of something,
And they tried to
take his temperature.
- You mean...
- Yeah.
What about him?
I don't know. Try
the fbi again, I guess.
Hey, it's okay.
Look, mr. Dodd,
I'm... I'm... I mean,
I'm really sorry,
But the fbi is very busy
And they're quite undermanned.
Morale is low.
Sure.
Hey, look, don't
take this personally.
It's just that the ' s
were a very painful time.
Most people would
prefer to forget it.
I mean, it's not a question
of your being ignored.
Attitudes mellow.
Priorities change.
But if you try to pull
anything in this precinct,
We'll be all over you.
I appreciate that.
Kind of a sad character, huh?
I mean, everything
he cares about...
The ' s and w*r... Nobody
wants to think about it.
Well, whether you care
to think about it or not,
It's starting to be a
very long time ago.
So, what about you, captain?
Huh?
What were you
doing years ago?
I was a cop.
Here?
Yeah.
As a matter of
fact, years ago,
I was probably not very
far from this very spot.
You were probably
wearing the same suit.
I'll be in my office.
A good suit should
last years.
05x11 - The Radical
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Takes place almost entirely within the confines of the detectives' squad room and Captain Barney Miller's adjoining office of New York City's fictional 12th Precinct, located in Manhattan's Greenwich Village.
Takes place almost entirely within the confines of the detectives' squad room and Captain Barney Miller's adjoining office of New York City's fictional 12th Precinct, located in Manhattan's Greenwich Village.