01x08 - Love 'Em and Leave 'Em/Will the Real Elvis Please Shut Up!

Episode transcripts for the TV series, "The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!". Aired: September 4 – December 1, 1989.*
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Revolves around Mario and Luigi, two Italian-American plumbers from Brooklyn.
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01x08 - Love 'Em and Leave 'Em/Will the Real Elvis Please Shut Up!

Post by bunniefuu »

Hey Paisanos!

it's the Super Mario
Brother's Super Show!

♪ We're the Mario Brothers,
and plumbing's our game, ♪

♪ we're not like the
others who get all the fame. ♪

♪ If your sink is in trouble
you can call us on the double, ♪

♪ we're faster than the
others you'll be hooked on the ♪

♪ brothers Unh! ♪

H-hooked on the brothers.

♪ Gimme gimme, gimme gimme. ♪

♪ Yo, you're in for a treat,
so hang on to your seat, ♪

♪ get ready for adventure
and remarkable feats. ♪

♪ You'll meet Koopas, the
Troopas the Princess and the ♪

♪ others, hanging with the
plumbers you'll be hooked on ♪

♪ the brothers. ♪

♪ To the brink! ♪

♪ Unh! ♪

♪ Unh! ♪

♪ I say h-h-h-h-hooked
on the brothers! ♪

♪ The brothers! ♪

♪ The brothers! ♪♪

Hey I'd like to
thank you, this song's,

just for you.

♪ Clog's caught in the trap,
with a snake in his yap, ♪

♪ because I forgot
to use Draino. ♪♪

Hey thank you thank
you thank you all.

I mean oh here this
is for you darling,

thank you you're beautiful I
mean I love you all so much

and I'd like to dedicate
and sing this next song,

to my lovely Mamma Mia
except, I forgot the words,

so I guess I think
I'll just have dinner.

♪ Since my piper's left me, I've
found a new sewer to dwell, ♪

♪ a septic t*nk in
Brooklyn town, ♪

♪ a plumber's hotel. ♪

♪ You make me so
lonely baby ah? ♪

Come on Mario.

Yo what do you think of
my Elvis impression eh?

Besides for the
fact that it stinks.

Oh, thank you very much.

It's an insult to the
memory of the King.

Insult to the
memory of the King ah?

What are you doing
with my velvet Elvis ah?

[Mario:] Well
mine's being cleaned,

but don't change the subject
because I'm gonna win the

impersonator's contest
tonight at the Plumber's Hall.

Hohohohoho,
nothin' doing Mario,

I'm the best Elvis.

Hey if you lend
me that guitar,

I might let you be
a back up singer.

Forget about it
Mario, I'm the King.

Woah.

[applause]

The Inquirer was
right, it's him!

Who?

The King!

[applause]

Elvis, what do you think?

Well, I don't think Aunt
Margaret's gonna go for it,

I mean you look like Michael
Jackson on a yeast diet.

But, don't be cruel,
we're gonna do it my way.

Ha!

Good to see ya.

♪ Yo, yo! ♪

♪ It's the Mario Brothers
and plumbing's their game, ♪

♪ found the secret warp zone
while working on the drain, ♪

♪ lend the princess a
hand in the Mushroom Land. ♪

♪ Comin' atcha
with the plumbers, ♪

♪ you'll be hooked
on the brothers! ♪

♪ Noooooow, Evil Koopa and his
Troopas are up to misbehaving, ♪

♪ they kidnapped the princess;
Mushroom Land needs saving. ♪

♪ Abusing and confusing
everybody he discovers, ♪

♪ they can't help but be
hooked on the brothers! ♪

♪ Unh! ♪♪

Plumber's
log number ;

Rotunda Land.

We were searching for a way
to save Princess Toadstool's

Kingdom.

Instead, we found one of
the most humongous dangers,

I've ever faced: the
dreaded, Queen Rotunda.

[Old woman:] Take it
from me queen Rotunda,

this is the best love
potion I ever mixed.

Can you guarantee it will make
Prince Pompadour fall madly in

love with me?

One sip of my passion
potion Your Highness,

and he'd fall in
love with a tree stump.

We only have to be sure, you
are the first person he sees

after he drinks this glop.

[beeping]

[gasp]

What's that beep?

It's my red hot
pepper detector,

and it's going off scale.

Hot peppers ahoy!

Huh?

Help Mario!

I'm falling over.

Phew, thanks a lot.

Holy ravioli!

Hey M-M-M-M-Mario, tell me one
more time how a plumber knows

he's in trouble?

When he gets that,
sinking feeling.

[Knight:] Attention peasants,
those are Queen Rotunda's

royal red hot
peppers you're robbing.

But how can we rob them?

They're growing wild.

The Queen owns
everything in Rotunda,

therefore you are thieves.

We'll give the peppers back.

Yes, take them.

It's too late, Queen Rotunda
has been looking for someone

to throw into her dungeon.

Her dungeon?

For the rest of
your life, at least.

Let's get out of here.

I'm with you Luigi.

[grunt]

Whoa!

Nighty night knight.

[bzzzzzzz]

[panting]

Yow!

Huh?!

Whoa!

Mamma mia!

At least we ditched
those bumbling beezoknights.

As I said,
you're under arrest,

and you must appear
before Queen Rotunda.

We get your point.

[Queen Rotunda:] Thanks to
your love potion Hildy,

I'll be the most beautiful bride
Rotundaland has ever seen.

We're holding prisoners in
the throne room Your Immense

Rotundedness.

Prisoners, oh goodie!

What did they do?

They were caught robbing
they royal hot peppers.

What!?

They were stealing food?

From me?

There's no greater crime.

Here Rotunda, take this love
gunk with ya in case you bump

into that
heartthrob Prince Pompadour.

Thanks Hildy.

Now, let's see what these
miserable grub grubbing

prisoners look like.

Do you think
that's our... last meal?

Silly goon, you
don't get a last meal.

Yuck!

What kind of
royal chef are you?

I'll never find the perfect
dessert for my wedding to

Prince Pompadour.

Don't forget the
prisoners Your Hugeness.

Oh yes, them!

Off with their heads!

[gasp]

Excuse me Queen Rotunda?

Why does this man
still have his head?

Wait!

Because inside this head is
the answer to your problem.

Get to the point jelly belly.

Hot pepper
pistachio ice cream.

Hot pepper
pistachio ice cream?

I've never heard of it.

It's the perfect new dessert,
just what you're looking for,

my personal favourite.

I command you to
make some at once,

then off with your head.

Mmmmm, at least your hot
pepper ice cream looks yummy.

I'll just take an
itty bitty taste.

Whoa!

[whoosh]

[gasp]

[hoooonk]

Water, wateeeerrr!

Water, waterrrrr!

Quick, drink this.

Phew.

So, you like Mario's hot
pepper pistachio ice cream eh?

Who cares about ice cream?

It's you I love dreamboat.

Muah.

Woo ahhh watch it lady,
you're wrinkling my moustache.

That wasn't water,
it was a love potion.

Ugh!

Potion smotion,
come to me my sweet,

I love you!

If you love me, set me
and my friends free!

Never!

Knights, lock these
three in the dungeon.

The chubby Prince Charming
is going to be my husband.

The chubby Prince Charming
is going to be my husband.

Ah Come to me my sweet pea,
I hear wedding bells in my

tower.

Those ain't wedding
bells in your tower,

they're bats in
your belfry lady.

Whoa!

Let's wrap this
thing up honeybunch,

it's time you
and I got married.

Heeeeelp!

My life is over, I'm
a prisoner of love!

These were the most tasteful
wedding invitations I could

find.

Mmmmm, whipped cream flavour.

Mmmmmm, mango passionfruit.

Mmm, yuuuuck!

Spinach?

How did that get in here?

[panting]

I'll lick it.

Uh uh uh my gorgeous
gumdrop, remember your diet.

You have to look slim
and trim for our wedding.

We're sure in deep spaghetti.

Don't give up Luigi, it ain't
over 'til the fat lady gets a

wedding ring.

And we're gonna make
sure that doesn't happen;

we're busting out of here!

Guard!

Guard!

My friends have escaped!

Dear me, where did they go?

[Princess:] Now!

Oh [grunt]

[bzzzzz]

Quick!

we really got the
drop on this beezleboob.

Hurry!

We have to save Mario
before he gets smothered with

affection.

I just love you
so much it hurts.

Muah!

Ahhhh, it's hurting me, a lot
more than it's hurting you.

Let's have a little of your
hot pepper pistachio ice cream

while we plan our
future together.

Now you're talking.

Not you my little dumpling.

You're still on a diet.

P-please!

Just a little?

Well, just a bit
because I love you so much.

[Knight:] Your Roundness,
the prisoners have escaped.

[Queen Rotunda:] What?

How could you be so stupid?

[bzzzz]

No!

Find the thieves!

If they interfere
with my wedding,

I'll have your head!

Yes Your Royal Giganticness.

Nobody's going to
boil my brother in oil,

I'm getting' out of here.

[bzzzz]

Ooops!

Put your pot sticker away.

That's a good knight.

It will be good night for you
if you don't come give me a

big hug and kiss baby cakes.

Muah.

Luigi!

Toad!

Princess!

You've got to save me!

What is it?

What's going on?

Find the prisoners, we've
only got two hours until the

wedding starts!

[Luigi:] Oh poor Mario,
we've gotta save him.

Come on, I have a great idea.

What's the plan?

We've got to get the Queen
to fall in love with someone

else.

So we're gonna mix up another
love potion for the Queen?

You got it!

Yo, let's get cooking.

[wedding march]

This is the
happiest day of my life,

and it's the happiest
day in your life too.

[Princess:] Add one
sprig mistletoe,

one ripe artichoke heart,
and one Fatboy's record.

[kaboom]

[sputtering]

Maybe it had to be a
CD, come on keep cooking.

Here here, let
the wedding begin!

No!

Come on, Mario's
wedding is starting.

I think we finally
mixed the love potion!

Let's play cupid!

[gasping]

[gasping]

Phew!

Wait, stop!

My shoe's untied.

Good thinking Luigi, I
must propose a toast!

[cheers]

To Queen Rotunda, and her
big big big biiiig heart,

and to Prince Pompadour,
her old old old friend.

To me.

[gulp]

Rotunda, you're the most
beautiful creature in the

Kingdom.

Marry me.

Of course Prince
Pompadour, of course!

That's terrific my paisanos.

[laughter]

Whoa!

Yike, ahhh.

I think I'll drink a toast to
Rotunda for not marrying that

silly little plumber.

Whoa!

No!

Don't drink that!

Gulp.

Oh no!

Oh you hunky love muffin you!

I've been looking
for you all my life!

Come on!

Let's make tracks!

Let's make tracks!

Now boys, what you need here
is some tips from the King,

ok?

Hey, we're ready Elvis.

Hey man, who
blew your hair up?

Hahahaha.

Alright now listen to me here,
the first thing is: the Elvis

lip twitch.

Imagine you got the
mouth here like this,

and the corner of the mouth,
just keeps going up there and

moving like crazy,
kind of like uh huh,

uh huh.

Now who wants to be
the first to try?

Oh oh oh Me oh oh oh
Alright, bad Elvis number one.

Hey hey.

Ok, now Luigi
it's kind of like,

uh huh, uh huh, you know kind
of like wrapping your lips

around some deep
fried catfish.

Oh, wow wait a minute
Elvis, I hate catfish.

Alright, deep
fried pizza baby.

Yo now you're talking.

Ok here we
go, uh huh, uh huh,

uh huh.

I got it, uh huh,
uh huh, uh huh.

Close enough man.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Alright, now the next thing,
and very important for the

ladies, ok
gentlemen up here now.

You've got to have your feet
moving in a pattern here like

this, in order to get the
knees to go which makes the

hips move.

Kind of luck huh yea, uh huh.

Who wants to be
the one to try it?

Oh oh oh Me oh oh
Bad Elvis number two.

Oh me, me I got it.

Front and center,
front and center.

Ok I got it Elvis.

Ok right over
here now you ready?

Go huh huh huh.

Yea you got it, now
try it with the singing.

He ain't nothing
but a groundhog,

honking on the ground.

He ain't nothing
but a groundhog,

honking on the ground.

[crash]

You must be improving man,
'cause you're bringin' the

house down.

Uh huh, uh huh.

Real Elvis will be back, after
exciting scenes from Legend of

Zelda.

Oh yea!

This is the
Triforce of Wisdom Link,

the evil wizard Ganon
has the Triforce of Power.

[laughter]

Whoever gets both
Triforces will rule this land

forever!

You must help me Link!

Hey for you Zelda, anything.

[gasp]

Yaa!

Don't worry, I'll handle this.

Ahhh Hahahaha.

Ooh!

[laughter]

Dum deed um, I suppose I'd
better get you loose... I guess.

Hurry up I'm getting squashed.

Uh!

Whoaaa!

Ahhhh!

There!

The two
Triforces side by side,

nothing stands in my way now!

Pfffff!

Yo King, this has
been like a dream come true.

Uh huh?

But Luigi, how can we
go against each other?

Ah you're right Mario I've
been thinking about that it's

kind of like the Civil w*r
brother against brother,

it would break
Mamma's heart you're right.

You know, I had
a mamma myself,

I called her the King's Mamma.

Uh huh?

Hey, I think I got a solution.

Come on up here boys, let's
see if you learned anything

today.

Ok now, watch me closely.

Alright King.

Love me slender,
love me heavy,

you know I love
banana sandwiches.

Huh huh!

Love my plumber,
love my wrench,

once I sat on a bench.

Though we copycat the
King, we're Marios to the end.

[laughter]

Where'd he go?

He's gone.

[Announcer:]
Ladies and gentlemen,

Elvis has left the basement.

Woah.

Until next time everybody.

Do the Mario!

♪ Do the Mario! ♪

♪ Swing your arms
from side to side, ♪

♪ come on, it's time to go! ♪

♪ Do the Mario! ♪

♪ Take one step,
and then again. ♪

♪ Let's do the Mario,
all together now! ♪

♪ You've got it! ♪

♪ It's the Mario! ♪

♪ Do the Mario! ♪

♪ Swing your arms
from side to side, ♪

♪ come on, it's time to go! ♪

♪ Do the Mario! ♪

♪ Take one step,
and then again. ♪

♪ Let's do the Mario,
all together now! ♪

♪ Come on now, it's
just like that! ♪♪
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