03x18 - King of Mars

[bunniefuu]

Gotta Blast!

♪ Into the stars,
goin' by Candy Bar's ♪

♪ Rides a kid with a knack
for invention ♪

♪ With a super-powered mind,
a mechanical canine ♪

( barks )

♪ He rescues the day
from sure destruction ♪

♪ This is the theme song ♪

♪ For Jimmy Neutron. ♪

( mechanical whirring )

( barks )

( yells )

( Sheen gasps )

Jimmy! Jimmy!

I've detected aliens
with your new telescope!

They're gross and bloated
with horrible suede tentacles!

Sheen, you've got
the telescope pointed

at Carl's mole.

It's not a mole;
it's a beauty mark.

I'm putting cream on it.

Wow, the universe is
so vast and intricate.

I'm bored.

Hmm.

Libs, keep an eye
on Mars for me.

It's been acting weird
all night.

( sniffing )

Is that... ( sniffing )
Eau d'Amino Acid?

Girl, you
brought us here

just so you could
flirt with Jimmy.

Did not!

I'm here because Jimmy values
my scientific input.

Why don't those two
just get a lab?

Hey, Neutron,
have you checked out Mars?

Huh?

Mars is old news.

I'm spotting comets.

But it's been showing huge
fluctuations in brightness.

Definitely worth
a good long look.

( sniffing )

What's that
bewitching scent?

You mean my perfume?

I just splash this on

when I don't care
what I smell like.

Mmm...

I mean, oh, look, a comet.

( screams )

You do this every time.

You invite me someplace and then
you ignore my contributions.

Can't talk.

Taking star pictures.

( grunts )
( groans )

When a colleague suggests
that you look at Mars,

it's polite to look at Mars!

There!

See?!

Pretty!

( all gasp )

I told you Mars
was acting weird.

Good thing the scope
was taking pictures.

Goddard,
download images.

JIMMY:
Holy Heisenberg!

Look at the size of that flare!

Check it out, everybody--
it's New Year's on Mars.

Happy Martian New Year.

( kisses )

Ew!

At least I won't be alone again
like last year.

It's not New Year's,
you dipstick.

It's some kind
of energy beam

f*ring out into space.

JIMMY:
And not just any energy,
hydroquantum energy.

Hydroquantum?

I read about that stuff.

You could power an entire city
with just one ice cube.

Or the world
with just one flush
of the toilet.

To Mars!

Sorry. Am I getting
ahead of everyone?

Of course, if I did go to Mars
and tap into the hydroquantum,

I could shatter every
known boundary of science.

Excuse me.

Anyone else notice
the earth shaking?

( mechanical whirring )

( all scream )

It's a space invasion!

There's only one hope:
We must appease them.

O great alien masters,
we worship you.

Please destroy
someone else.

May I suggest
the French?

VOICE:
Attention, interlopers,
prepare to be stomped.

That's no alien.

Excuse me,
this is a private party!

VOICE:
Is that who I think it is?

How delicious!

( others gasp )

Hello, Neutron.

It's that spoiled rich kid
who has it in for Jimmy.

Eustace Strych.

I thought you were
grounded for life.

Yes, well, my daddy's will
is easily manipulated.

So, Jimmy,
did you forget

that I'd sworn everlasting
vengeance against you?

Hmm, it sort of slipped my mind

because I have a life,
you loser!

Don't get saucy with me.

You're on Strych property.

State your business.

Don't do it, Jimmy.

Don't tell him about
the limitless power source

you found on Mar...

And we're not going there to get
the limitless power source

if that's what you're think...

Mars!

Sorry, I just
get excited.

Neutron, old bean,
you're keeping secrets.

That's not at all polite.

Blix-- capture mode!

Jawohl, Herr Strych.

Think I'll take this mob
of yours back to my lab

for a good mind shifting.

( all scream )

( laughing maniacally )

( screaming )

( all panting )

( screaming )

( all gasp )

Don't delete us!

( laughing ):
I'm so insane!

( laughing )

( Goddard barks )

( screams )

( crashing )

Oh, the pain!

Too bad, old bean.

Hope your k*ller tripod
was insured.

Ta-ta.

You won't escape,
Neutron.

My undying hatred shall
pursue you without rest!

But first, I think I'll slip
into unconsciousness.

More schnitzengrueber,
Carl?

Danke.

Good job, Goddard.

We should be ready to leave
in about three days.

Okay, Neutron, we're here
for our mission briefing.

Cindy?

What did you do to your face?

Oh... just some radiation-proof
lip gloss and eyeliner.

Deep space is rough
on a girl's skin, you know.

( steam whistle blows )

Uh... I don't know.

I mean, it doesn't matter,
you're not coming!

What? But you're taking
Carl and Sheen,

and all they do is sit around
eating schnitzengrueber.

Soy-based low-carb
schnitzengrueber.

Yeah, this guy
was giving out
free samples.

We even got complimentary
schnitzengrueber forks.

Mmm...

It's so light,

I don't even have to loosen
my new stretch pants.

Well, Sheen and Carl
won't distract me.

I mean, not that
you distract me.

Why would you distract me?

That would be silly.

Look, Neutron,
I discovered that flare,

I put on space makeup
and I'm coming to Mars!

Clear?

Fine!

Whatever.

Just... just stay
out of my way.

Do you think
he likes my lip gloss?

You are ill, girl.

Well, if you have to come along,
here's the deal.

Here's Mars
just as the flare erupted.

You can see the energy source
located right here.

Mmm... mmm...

( laughs )

I knew those chuckle-headed
plebeians couldn't pass up

free schnitzengrueber.

That is because
I make them mit love.

I want the tripod repaired
and modified in three days.

When Neutron arrives on Mars,

he's going to find a little
surprise waiting for him.

CARL:
Oh, no, I forgot my inhaler.

JIMMY:
Carl, we're already here.

Ready for
landing sequence.

Do you like
my new flight
suit, Libby?

It's perfect for resisting
the strong Martian winds.

Whatever.

Huh? Think I've been staring
at you the whole trip?

Well, I haven't.

Well, no one
asked you to.

Well, fine...

Stop annoying me.

What? You rude
little twerp!

I'll knock you all
over the asteroid belt.

( crashing )

( screaming )

What's going on?

( beeping )

We've been hit by proton blasts.

Systems are off-line!

( softly ):
We're dead in space.

Who's doing this?

I'm guessing it's that guy.

( all gasp )

Oh, no.

It can't be.

Hello again, Jimmy.

What do you want, Strych?

Do you have
a spare inhaler?

I know all about
the energy source, James,

and I intend
to make its power my own.

Hydroquantum energy will make me

the most powerful 11-year-old
in the solar system.

I shall rule the Red Planet
as the first king of Mars!

( laughing maniacally )

Eustace, as your mortal enemy,
let me just say...

get some therapy!

Blix, blow them
out of space.

Launching torpedoes
in ten, ninen,

eighten...

I can charge
one bank of disrupters,

but there's no way to aim
while we're drifting like this.

Drei, zwei, eins...

( grunts )

( all scream )

( laughing maniacally )

This might be it, guys.

Hyah!

JIMMY:
Gotcha!

No!

Reload.

Reload!

( both scream )

( cheering )

Boo-ya!

He'll have to ditch
on the surface.

Good thing
you brought me along, Neutron--

my airlock maneuver
totally rocked.

( air hissing )

It also sent us spiraling down
towards the surface!

Oops.

( all scream )

Can't stop our forward momentum.

Power cells aren't responding.

Ooh! Ooh!
Jimmy!

Can I say "brace for impact?"

Sure.

Uh, on second thought,

let's just all scream.

( all scream )

( all screaming )

SHEEN:
This is it--

we're about to be
turned into
chunky salsa!

If I could just squeeze one last
charge out of the batteries.

JIMMY:
Yes!

We made it.

( others cheering )

Welcome to Mars, guys.

Is it true that Mars has canals
filled with creamy nougat?

That's just a myth.

But watch for
the billowing forests

of string cheese.

That was our last drop of power
from the main reactor.

Well, we came here to find
an unlimited power source;

maybe we can use it to get home.

Just how far are we from this
hydroquantum energy thingy?

Well, if Goddard's
batteries hold out,

we should be there
in about 18 hours.

Come on,
everybody!

♪ There was a Martian
made of goo ♪

♪ And Ringo was his name-o ♪

♪ R-I-N-G-O ♪

♪ R-I-N-G-O... ♪

Oh, dash it
all, Blix,

this map makes
no sense!

Impossible, mein Herr.

That's a spy picture
we took of Jimmy's own map.

You see, we are here,

next to this pink,
meaty rock formation.

That's not
a rock formation;

it's a piece of
schnitzengrueben!

Those two nitwits
must has squished it

against the camera lens.

( grunting )

Ow! Owie, mein Herr!

( grunts )
Owie.

Neutron has the real map.

We've got
to track him down, Blix.

Only by b*ating him
to the energy source

can I become
the boy king of Mars!

( mechanical whirring )

The race... is on!

( laughs maniacally )

SHEEN:
♪ E-R... J-O... ♪

♪ And Ringo was his name-o. ♪

We can camp here
tonight, guys.

According to my map,
the power source

is located just beyond
this dry sea bed.

Shouldn't we keep moving?

If we've gotten this far,
maybe Eustace has, too.

Wow, Cindy...

under these moons
you look... almost...
kind of...

( static )

What?!

Uh... I wasn't
gazing at Cindy;
I was...

I was working
when she interrupted.

Interrupted?!

Who wants squeeze ham?

You dork, I'm the reason
we're on this mission!

You're also the reason
we almost crashed!

I make one mistake and
you have to rub it in.

Well, I've had it
with you!

Cindy, where are you going?

Who cares?!

Apparently I'm not
wanted around here.

Cindy, wait!

I didn't mean it that way!

Can I have
her squeeze ham?

CINDY:
That fudge-headed dork
never did appreciate me.

I'd love to show him
what I really think of him.

( screaming )

Put me down!

I'm warning you, I know karate!

You know,
it isn't safe

for a girl to wander
around Mars alone.

I'll wander wherever
I want, Brie Breath!

Had a little falling out
with Neutron?

He can be such a ninny-hammer.

What do you care?

Think I forgot
how you tricked me before?

Ah, Cynthia, I was young
and foolish then.

I now realize how resourceful
and talented you really are.

We'd make quite
the team, you and I.

The only thing
we have in common

is we both think
Neutron's a jerk.

So, um, tell me more
about me being talented.

Oh, we are so
the perfect match, Cynthia.

Help me get Neutron's Mars map

and you'll be rich
beyond your wildest dreams.

You think I'd betray
my friends that easily?!

Our alliance
would make Neutron
insanely jealous.

I'm in.

But no one gets hurt, right?

You have my word.

CINDY ( echoing ):
Wake up, Jimmy.

I think I finally found
a way to make you notice me.

Huh?

Cindy, what
are you talking about?

Leaping leptons!

Pretty sweet, huh?

Some guys just know
how to treat a lady.

( Jimmy yelling )

Good morning,
James.

Have you met
my new associate?

Cindy, how could you?

I have the map,
mein Herr.

Hey, give that back!

Aha, the energy source
is just beyond
this sea bed.

We can be there in minutes.

Cindy... why?

Because Eustace
appreciates me

and because he's going
to make me stinking rich!

( yells )

( thud )

Oh, yes, Cindy, about
the, um, rich business.

( screams )

( grunts )

I share my wealth with no one!

Ta-ta, losers!

You fink!

I can't believe
I let you betray me again!

Cindy, what
were you thinking?

CARL:
Some friend you are.

SHEEN:
J'accuse!

But... well, I...

It's all your fault!

What?!

Oh, don't act dumb.

At least Eustace
treated me like an equal.

You act like
I don't even exist.

You are so clueless, Vortex!

I know you exist!

That's why
I pretend to ignore you!

( gasps )

Oh!

Pretend?

You mean you've been acting
like a dweeb because...

He likes you.

He thinks
you fine.

I do not!

I just think you're
pretty smart and smell nice

and you kind of
distract me... sometimes.

Wow, Jimmy-- thanks.

You're welcome.

Hopefully the next time
this happens,

you won't betray us
to our enemies!

( groaning )

What do we
do now?

Strych drained
Goddard's batteries.

There's no way we can b*at him
to the energy source now.

( Strych laughing maniacally )

Brr... this wind is as
cold and icy as Cindy's soul.

The wind?

Wait a minute.

Carl, you're wearing
stretch pants, right?

First you sell us out,
then you mock my pants.

Why, Cindy, why?!

No, wait, she's right.

Carl, pants off, now!

( wind whistling )

Your stretch pants
make a pretty good
wind sail, Carl.

Thanks.

It's a good thing
my underwear was clean.

There it is, Blix...

My ticket to ultimate power
in the solar system.

No...

It can't be!

Full ahead, Blix.

We've got to reach
that pyramid before
Neutron does.

We need more speed!

Give me the rudder!

( Jimmy yells )

( screaming )

( crash )

( both grunting )

STRYCH:
Oh, no, you don't...

Yes!

Too late, Neutron,

my power siphon is charged
and ready for battle.

So is mine, Strych.

Get him, Jimmy!

Yeah, whip his pampered,
rich-boy hiney!

The power source is
mine, Neutron.

No, it's not...
it's mine!

( pounding )

Actually, you're both wrong--
it's ours.

( all gasp )

Martians? Cool!

Could I get an autograph?

Humans, from
the third planet.

They are starting
to become real pests.

Incredible--

a rock-based
silicone form of life.

But I thought
Mars was dead.

Dead? Now they're
just being insulting.

Mars isn't dead.

For centuries we have
slept below the surface.

But you Earth people keep
waking us up

with the rockets and
your probey things with the...

Oy, don't get me started.

We could destroy Earth with one
burst of hydroquantum energy.

Destroy Earth?

But... but you can't.

( rumbling )

( all scream )

Can't move.

We're stuck!

Activate control panel.

Target the Earth.

You should prepare to fire.

This is your fault, Neutron.

I could have prepared for this
if it wasn't for you.

Knock it off!
If we're going
to save Earth,

you two prima donnas
better work together.

She's right,
Strych.

How about it?

Are you willing
to join forces?

Never!
( grunts )

( weakly ):
Well, maybe just this once.

Cindy, distract
the Martians.

Eustace, you're with me.

Prepare to fire,
already.

All hail the Martians!

ALL:
All hail the Martians!

All hail the Martians!

Look, they're
worshiping us.

Well, we are
pretty awesome.

And, of course, no form
of worship would be complete

without interpretive dance!

Blast you,
Neutron, hurry!

Shall we crush them?

You crush them,
I'll destroy Earth.

( screaming )

( crash )

Hey!

( yells )

Eustace, reroute the circuit
and press the blue button.

But I usually have people
do that for me.

( screaming )

Eustace!

Oh, dear... oh, dear...

( rumbling )

( Martians yell )

What madness is this?

What? What?!

What did I do?

What did I do?!

You reatomized
the hydroquantum beam

turning it back
into simple water.

Und dispersing it
into the atmosphere.

( thunder crackles )

( raindrops plopping )

( screams )

Water!

( other Martians screaming )

Water!
Water!

They're afraid
of common rainwater.

Which is why they drained
their lakes and oceans.

Ow, ow, make it stop.

Oh, ow, ow,
make it stop!

Well, I could reverse
the effect

or I could make it pour
for a month.

( grunting and groaning )

We surrender.

Just reverse what
you've done and go!

We'll also need small sample
of your energy source

so we can get home.

MARTIAN:
So, take it,
already!

Guys, let's head home.

About time-- Mars bites.

CINDY:
I still can't believe it--

Eustace Strych actually
helped us save the Earth.

STRYCH:
Well, it is where
I keep all my stuff.

LIBBY:
I can't believe Jimmy
admitted he likes Cindy.

JIMMY:
I said she distracts me--
there's a difference!

CARL:
Guys... can I have
my pants back?

Hi, I'm Paul.

JIMMY:
Got to blast!