01x13 - Steel Horses

[bunniefuu]

SOCRATES:
If they even knew
I was down here,

it would cost me
my job.

The robber barons
aren't going to
fire you, Soc. Relax.

They fired
Elmo Hubbard.

Who's Elmo Hubbard?

The shipping agent
who transported

the prototypes
from Europe.

Why'd they fire him?

Because he
showed the machines

to his 93-year-old
mother.

They're paranoid
about someone
grabbing a patent out

from under their noses.

Yeah, I guess so.

Well, look, Soc,
if you want to turn back--

No. We're here already,

and I suppose if you
didn't get a look

at the coming thing
in transportation,

you'd hold it
against me for years.

I would not.

6 months, tops.

[LAUGHS]

SOCRATES: That's funny.

BRISCO: What?

Well, the way
they were talking
at the office,

I expected
this place to have
the security

of Ft. Knox!

I think we may
have a problem.

[ENGINES REVVING]

What is that?Oh, my God!

Somebody's taking
them, Brisco!

MAN: Ha Ha! Whoo!

Whoa!

Wahoohoo!

Look out!

Brisco, you've got to
go after them.

You can't let them
get away.

Yeah. Sure.

No problem...

just as soon
as you tell me

what the heck
they are.

Now, hold on a second.
You can't fire Socrates.

Brisco, you should be
more concerned

with recovering
the machines than
with personnel management.

Look it wasn't
even his idea
to come here.

It was my idea.
You can fire me.

It was Socrates' idea
to tell you

about the highly secret
prototype we were developing.

We don't need
that kind of breach
within our organization.

I understand.
Brisco.

Just hang on
a second, Bowler.

Look, we just
happened to be here.

We didn't
cause this robbery.

And you didn't
stop it, either.

These machines represent
research and technology

20 years ahead
of its time.

The future of transportation
in this country

may have been taken
right out of our hands.

Well, you don't have
to use Socrates

as a scapegoat
for it.

I'm trying
to make a point.

And I'm trying to get
a word in edgewise.

Or should I say ropewise?

Guard was tied up
with a blood bight.

What are you talking
about? That's a rope.

BRISCO:
No, it's the knot
that they used.

A blood bight
is Juno Dawkins'
trademark.

Who's Dawkins?

The most fearless
of John Bly's g*ng.

He'll do anything for Bly,
no questions asked.

No risk too great
for Dawkins.

I ain't never
seen a man more willing

to stick his neck
in a noose.

If Juno has
those machines,

you can pretty much
bet he's got
some crazy scheme

to serve Bly.

Then it appears
we have a mutual urgency

to get him
and recover the machines.

Alright,
Cartwright.

I'll go after
those machines,

but if I
recover them,

Soc goes back
on the payroll.

I'll consider that option.

No, that's not
an option.

That's the deal.

Then that's the deal.

That's your route,
destination,

and way station locations.

You have a key?

Yes, sir.

Turn around.

Right.

Don't touch it.

You understand you have
the fastest rig

the government owns.

Yes, sir.

And that you are to make
no unscheduled stops.

Yes, sir.

You'll have 4 outriders
in front of you

to prevent ambushes.

Nothing can catch this rig
from the rear.

You're under explicit orders
to sh**t on sight

anybody who
attempts to interfere
with your mission.

Understood.

You want this
at the research lab
in Nevada

by 0900 Friday?

Mister, I expect it there
by 0900 Friday.

Alright,
let's move it out.

Huh?

BIKER: Yeehoo!

Ho!

Ha Ha Ha!
Whoo!

Toro!Ha!

Would you look at these?

I don't believe I ever
seen anything like this

coming down the path before.

Probably never will again,
either.

Boy, I'll tell you.

Look at that.

What's that do there?

That sucker's hot!

Boy.
Say, what do you feed

these little steel horses?

Is there a reason
we're stopping?

Find something useful.

Well, welcome to Gully's.

I got all kinds
of supplies, boys.

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

I see the lips move,

but I can't understand
the words.

He wants to know if
you have some more.

Kerosene?

Let's see, let's see.

Nein.

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

He thinks kerosene
would be useful.

He's wrong.

Tell him to worry about
keeping the machines
in one piece.

I'll worry
about the fuel.

Do you have
any peppermints?

Well, that's
a good question.

Got a fresh peach.

Peppermint...

peppermint...

peppermint.

Hey!

How old is this?

Picked it up last week.

This here's...
about a year old.

Believe it was
last week.

Well, the next time
that you lie to me,

you little
peach picker,

I'm going to make
you smoke this.

Put it out, Flybaker!

Shut up, egghead.

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

Angel!

I've invested too much
time and too much energy

to watch my plan
fizzle away.

Your dramatics
are starting to bore me.

Go on.
What are you going to do?

By the way, boys,

you know that dynamite's
a buck and a half a stick.

Put it on my tab.

Yeah, you betcha.
It's on your tab.

What kind of tracks
are we following,
anyway?

It's a wheel
made out of rubber.

That's a dumb idea.

What's wrong
with wood and steel?

Well, rubber's lighter,
and you get better traction.

Yeah, but what happens
if you run over
a cactus thorn?

Well, I guess
they haven't got
everything worked out.

No, they don't.

But you got to
admire the people
who thought it up.

No, I don't.

You know, Bowler,

if we're going to be
riding together
from now on,

there's something about me
you ought to understand.

Yeah? What's that?

I'm not just out here
looking for John Bly.

I'm also looking
for the coming thing.

Yeah,
but what is that?

If I knew what it was,
it wouldn't be coming.

Now, the next century's
almost here, Bowler,

the 20th century.

We are right around
the corner from some
amazing things.

I'd say more like
right around the corner

from a Juno Dawkins
thing.

GULLY: Over here!

I'm buried
under this!

Hey! Hey, boys!

Give me a hand,
will you, please?

Alright, alright.
Take it easy, now.

Get the wagon, Bowler.

Ahh! Agh!

There you go.

Good. Very grateful.

Would you look
at what they did?

Was there 4 of them
riding some fancy
motor machines?

Yeah, yeah.

They say where
they were headed?

Said they had
a lot of riding to do.

Going after
some sort of wagon.

What sort of wagon?

Didn't say. I don't know.

But it was a fast one.

There's
plenty of tracks
to pick them up.

Let's ride, Brisco.

Hey, you going to be okay
out here?

Hell, yeah.

Where's my ass?

Well, it's, uh...

[DONKEY BRAYS]

Right over there.

Yeah, thanks.

Hey, look, by the way,

if you run into them boys,

right inside here
is their bill.

Oh...

Why don't we just
steal what we need?

You just don't walk
into a store

and steal
refining equipment.

Oh, so we hit the bank,

and then we buy
the equipment?

Brilliant deduction.

What did he say?

It was a compliment.

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

What kind of g*ng
is this, Dawkins?

He can't hear,
he can't speak
English,

you can't explain
what we're after.

I got an agreement
to deliver John Bly
the contents

of a transport wagon
that will be within

our reach within 48 hours.

Well, if he pays
100 grand,

I'll stay focused.

He'll pay twice that,
Mr. Beck,

because the contents
of that wagon

has haunted him
since I've known him.

Addictions
are costly.

Let's get financed.

What?

Financed!

I can smell fear
in the air already.

[SCREAMING]This is a stick up!

We've been riding
all night.

How fast
do these things go?

Soc said around 70.

70 what?

Miles per hour.

It's a new way
of measuring speed.

70 miles per hour?

We ain't never gonna
see these things.

[expl*si*n][SCREAMING]

Hyah!

Whoa!

Ha ha ha!

Ho!

Is that one
of your coming things?

Yeah, maybe.

Well, I'm going to
stop it from coming.

[WHINNIES LOUDLY]

Hey!

Ha ha ha!

What the heck
are those things?

Let's get them
and find out.

Yee-haw!

Whoa!

Ow, ow, ooh, ay, ay.

You Okay?
Yeah.

Nobody told me them
things could fly.

Where are you going?

To get that machine.

We get that thing
working again,

might be a good way
to catch Dawkins.

All we got to do
to catch Dawkins
is ask him...

where he's headed.
Well?

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

Huh?

I think we're going to
need some help.

In experimenting with fuel
for my rocket,

I stumbled,
quite by accident,

across this formula
on the board.

Now, if you combine
the formula

with just a touch of
good old-fashioned H2O...

Mmm.

Which...is...

why you shouldn't
do that.

Alright, you all seem

a little restless today.

I'll tell you all about

how this is connected
to plankton

and why plants are green...

tomorrow.

Okay, class is dismissed.

Good-bye.

Oh, Brisco!

How are you, Professor?

Well, going back
to teaching.

What brings you to
my little institute
of higher learning?

Well, I've got a problem
that needs some fixing.

Bowler!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's marvelous.

It's broke.

Is it fixable?

Of course.

What is it?

Well, it's kind of
like a bicycle

that's got an internal
combustion engine
attached.

I see...

a motored cycle.

Yeah, I guess you
could call it that.

Who cares
what you call it?

We're trying to catch
the Juno Dawkins g*ng,

and they got 3 more
of these things.

Oh, you want to chase
fire with fire, huh?

Right. So what
do you think, Professor?

Well, I could pick and poke

and try to put it
back together again.

What's this you're
making over here,
Professor?

Oh, that.

I've been working
on condensing
superheated molecules

by exciting them
with intense heat

and then reducing them
into a liquid form.

It's a still,
Bowler.

Got a nice batch
of gin brewing.

Anyone care for a nip?

Maybe later.

Right now we need
to find somebody
who speaks German.

German? What for?

Well, we caught one
of Dawkins' g*ng,

but that's all
he speaks is German.

German? You want German?
I'll get you German.

To the Horseshoe Club.

[COUNTING IN GERMAN]

[WOMAN WITH GERMAN ACCENT]
After Ilsa has beaten the rod,

she will then stick it
into the hotness again

in preparation for
the final shaping

of what will be
our door latch.

b*at it, Ilsa.

Boy, I never knew
blacksmithing could be
so entertaining.

Personally, I think
if they dropped

the whole
blacksmithing part,

they'd still have
quite a show.

BRISCO: How long have
the Schwenke sisters
been doing this?

PROFESSOR:
Oh, about a month.
They got bored out there

in the desert
in no man's land,

so they came here
to San Francisco.

Aha. Very fancy.

Katrina and I
have developed

a very meaningful
relationship.

You don't happen
to know anyone

in the wholesale
door latch business,
do you?

Are we having fun?

So, Professor,
you think they'll help us?

Oh, most definitely.

The girls are always
looking for
a new challenges.

[COUNTING IN GERMAN]

Angel!

What?

You're crazy, Dawkins.

This ain't gonna work
without Hans.

Through Hans we learned

of the existence
of the machines.

He was also instrumental
in instructing us

in their use.

But now Hans is
no longer necessary

for this plan
to succeed.

Do your job, Angel.
Relax.

What if Hans talks?

I expect he will,

and I expect we'll
stay ahead of anyone

who tries to catch us.

What's that?

Appears the crude
was much shallower

than I calculated.

Is that it?

Sucked from the belly
of mother nature herself.

She's everything we need.

Let's load it and go.

You mean he can't see us?

Nope. I call it
a see-through
looking glass.

Never knew
what to do with it.

It was a great idea,
Brisco, putting
it here.

This should be
very interesting.

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

Ich bist Ilsa.

Bist du deutsch?

Ja.

Ilsa's going to
soften him up,

then I go in and play...

Ugh! Hardball.

Du bist so ein mann.

[ILSA SPEAKING GERMAN]

Ich muss du haben.

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

Ilsa will make our Hans
feel right at home.

She's very good at that.

[ILSA SPEAKING GERMAN]

Okay, he's at home.

Now I go to work.

Someday I want
one of these windows
in my house.

You know, so I can
turn it on anytime

like a lamp

and watch stuff
like this.

Not a bad idea.

Hey, wait a minute.

Did I just think
of a coming thing?

Kind of fun,
isn't it?

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SHOUTING AND CRASHING]

The girls have
very different styles

in getting what they want.

No kidding.

[HANS SCREAMS]

Professor, we don't
want to k*ll him.

We just want
some information.

Of course.

The girls understand that...
I think.

You did get Katrina's
hammer away from her,
didn't you?

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

Gentlemen, I think the bird
is starting to sing.

Silver Plume Creek.

There's nothing
up there but some
old abandoned mines.

Did he say anything
about a fast-moving
wagon?

Ja. A government wagon.

Did he say anything
about what it's carrying?

Oh, ja.

They're after a...

a himmelskugel.

Oh! I know
that word.

Nein. Nicht eine himmelskugel.

Eine himmelskorper.

No! No!
I must be mistaken.

Ja,
eine himmelskorper.

A what?

They say they were
after a himmelskorper.

A ball.

An orb.
Ja.

Well, that's it.

The government
has the orb.

They must be moving it.

Dawkins is after
the orb for Bly.

What is an orb?

Power, and in
John Bly's hands,

that could be
very dangerous.

That's why they need
the cycles.

And that's why we better
get up to that mine.

I'll stay here
and protect the women.

The tanks are full.
Can we go?

Clue him in,
would you, Dawkins?

Now, I want you
to listen and keep
your mouth shut.

I was asking you--

I said shut it!

Now, you've been
stirring things up with
Beck for long enough,

and I don't want you
pushing him anymore.

This is our heart,
Angel.

It's pumping the blood
that's gonna
keep us riding

ahead of anyone
that tries to keep up
with us.

The more fuel we refine,

the longer we stay
in control.

and that is what
it's all about, Angel.
Control.

Tracks lead over
to that mine.

Alright. Now,
take it nice and slow.

These motored cycles
seem to come
out of nowhere.

I sure hope these things
don't catch on.

Why?

If they do, we gonna
be out of a job.

How's that?

We ain't never
going to be able
to catch nobody

who's riding
the machines.

We could if we
were riding them, too.

Uh-uh.
You ain't gonna
never see me riding

one of them accidents
about to happen.

[SNIFFING]

They're definitely
in there.

How you so sure?
You can't see nothing.

Don't use your eyes, Bowler.
Use your nose.

You smell that?
That's refined crude.

I smelled it
at the warehouse.

It's got some potential.

Just keep filling
the barrels.

[CRASH]

Brisco County, Jr.

Hello, Juno.

John Bly said you'd be
a fly in the ointment.

Funny how
he got that right.

Alright. Tell whoever's
down there to come on out.

You know, he's got a bit
of a hearing problem.

Then speak up.

We'll have to get him
ourselves, Bowler.

Come on.

This is never easy.

Light it.

No, Bowler, don't.

We're covered
with petrol.

Oh.

Happy trails, County!

Whoa!

Run, Bowler!

Whoa!

Whoa!

What are you going
to do with that?

Hang on to your bowler,
Bowler.

Aah!

Brisco?

Huh?

Are we dead?

I don't think so.

So we're alive?

Looks that way.

What the heck
happened?

I, uh...I blew out
that fire

with the dynamite.

Damn.

I've been bucked off
my horse,

almost barbecued,
and blown up.

Yeah, well, it's all
in a day's work

when you're trying to catch
Juno Dawkins.

Well, I'm almost
afraid to ask,

but what's next?

Well, as I see it,
Dawkins knows

we can track him
just about anywhere.

Yeah, he don't seem too
worried about covering
his tracks. So?

So he knows we're going
to be eating his dust

from now until
he hits that wagon.

Well, it's going
to be one long
wild goose chase.

Brisco,
as long as they're on
them motor machines,

and we're on horseback,
they're gonna stay one
step ahead of us.

Shh! Hold it down.

What?
They're long gone.

I think we ought to go back
and see the professor.

What for?

See if he's done working
on that, uh...

you know what.

You don't want to go
after Dawkins on one
of those motor machines?

Shh!

What is wrong
with you?

I don't want Comet
to know about this.

The motor machines?

Bowler, come on.
He's depressed enough
as it is.

And I promised
I wouldn't bring it up
in front of him.

[NICKERS]

Well, I'm with Comet.
Do me a favor

and don't bring
it up in front
of me, neither.

Hi, Professor.

Brisco. Bowler.

Any luck?

Yes, indeed.

Did you fix that thing?

I did a little bit
more than that.

You've been tinkering.

You know, Brisco,
I don't like
to do things half-hearted.

Oh, I guess not.

What did you do?

Well, as soon as I
began to understand
the principles

on which this machine
was built,

I saw some room
for improvement.

I can see that.

I enlarged
the cylinders,

improved
the drive chain,

put in some springs
to absorb the bumps,

and even added a horn.

[HORN BEEPS]

What's this thing
on the side?

The schwenkes
banged that out for me.

That's for you to sit in
while Brisco drives.

Who said Brisco
was driving?

And I had
one final inspiration,

a way for you boys
to get a real leg up

on that Dawkins
character.

Tell me.

The fuel.

Alright.

I started with simple
swamp gas, CH4...

which, when ignited
in the air,

burns like wildfire.

Ah, but you needed
a univalence.

Exactly.
Nitrobacterium

linked to
two atoms of oxygen,

and you have
the univalent group NO2.

Add that to the methane,

and voila.

Gin.

Aah! Aah!

Nitromethane.

Oh.
Precisely.

Basically, what you have,
gentlemen, now

is a rocket on wheels.

What's going on?

Wickwire! Did he fix
the bike?

Oh, my God.
Was this here before?

Well, that's where Bowler's
going to sit.

Wait a minute.
Did somebody

make a decision
behind my back?

Brisco, you cannot
take this.

Socrates,
I know you want it,

but we need this
to go after Dawkins.

This is the only way
we can catch him.

But 1/4 of my job
is sitting right here.

We'll bring it back.

Hopefully.
With a whole lot
of luck.

Isn't there
some other way
for you to stop him?

Not that I can think of.

Bowler.
I wish.

[SIGHS]
Wickwire.

Negative.

Well, look
at the bright side, Soc.

What's that?

We're not asking you
to come along.

How long we have to
sit here for?

I've got the very best
information

Mr. Bly could provide.

That wagon will be
passing this way.

All we have to do
is wait.

But for how long?

Shut up.

We got a bigger
problem here.

Like?

Like...we got one sh*t
at that wagon.

Considering the fuel
we left behind

and the state
of our reserves,

if we don't hit
that wagon right here,

we're gonna be running
on fumes

by the time we rendezvous
with your buyer.

Well, why don't
we just get this Bly
to come to us?

Mr. Bly doesn't go
to anyone,

but all we need
is one chance.

Hey!

That's if we don't
make any mistakes.

Right.

Alright.
Now, get your left foot
over. That's it.

No, no! Not there.

I know you're mad,

but this has got nothing
to do with you and me.

Comet, you can't catch
those machines.

You're just a stubborn
old horse, you know that?

Now, wait here,
and I'll be back
before you know it.

And stay out
of that loco weed.

Perfect fit.

You sure you know how
to drive this thing?

How hard could
it be?

I'm feeling a lack
of control here, Brisco,

that I ain't too
comfortable with.

Would you like
to stay behind?

I may be nervous,

but not nervous enough
to miss out
on all my bounty.

Let's go.

Here's your brake.

Uh-huh.

This is your power
and forward thrust.

Press down on your pedal
to get her started.

Wait a minute!
What's that thing?

Don't touch
that lever.

I have absolutely no idea
what it does.

Alright, gentlemen,
fire it up.

Oh, Professor, do
me a favor, will ya?

Keep an eye
on Comet.

He may need
a few green apples
to cheer him up.

No problem.

Maybe I can talk Ilsa
into giving him
a nice hot shoeing.

Well, Comet,
wave good-bye.

[COMET WHINNIES]

Comet!

Comet!

You ready?

Show me your stuff,
Brisco.

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa there.

Mr. Flybaker,
what do we got here?

Four outriders
who precede the wagon.

They're skilled marksmen
and trackers.

Mr. Caulder?

Their only purpose
is to make sure

there are
no obstacles
in the road ahead.

Here comes the wagon
right on schedule.

Our objective?

Piece of cake.

Why don't we
just take it now?

Plan is to take 'em on the road
and make a clean get away.

We are sticking the plan.

Get right here.

Gentlemen, we've come
a long way.

But in a few hours
we are gonna be

veryvery rich man.

Shall we?

Stop!

Aah!

Sorry about that.

What is it?

I got a kink
in my back.

No, in the road.

Oh, yeah, forget about
my personal health.

Uh-huh.

It's a light wagon.

Four riders in front.
Probably a m*llitary
transport.

The horses are young,

but they're tired
and overridden.

They'll probably
change them off
for fresh ones

in the next town.

Wait a minute.
Come on, Bowler.

you can't tell me
you got all that

by looking at the dirt
in this trail.

Oh, I got a hell of a lot
more than that,

but that's all
you need to know.

And there's
Dawkins' boys.

They're going to hit
that wagon.

That's right.

Alright, Bowler,
so humor me.

What else
do you see?

Well, a bear came through
this morning

about ready to give birth
to a set of twins.

Well, dirt talks
to me, Brisco.

I think it's time

we accomplish
our final objective.

Gentlemen,
start your engines.

Your services
have been completed.

Come on!

Rubber tires!

I told you
that was a dumb idea.

We got to get
that dynamite.

Got it!
Got it!

I got it!
Good work.

Oops!

Hey!

Hey, Bowler!

I can't get it.

Aah!
Aah!

There goes Dawkins.

He's getting away.

Well, there ain't nothing
we can do about that now.

I'll go round up
the other two.

Comet?

Comet, what are you
doing here, huh?

No, we can't
catch him.

Huh? Are you sure?

Well, alright, boy.

Let's do it.

Hyah!

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Oh, come on, Comet.

Look, I can't blame you,

but you can't
give up now.

Aah!

Aah!

Well, Comet,

I guess all they need
to do now

is give those machines
a brain.

Come on, boy.

Well, Katrina,
you certainly do have
enormous talent.

I should say so.

She made that out of
what was left over
from that sidecar.

Let me strap it
to you.

Am I interrupting
anything?

No. Katrina just
made me a belt buckle.

What did you find out,
Bowler?

I know a guy
in the 9th cavalry

who knows a guy in Denver
who knows a guy in Washington

who knows a guy who's
connected with special projects.

He said the wagon got to
its destination safely

at a secret government
installation in Nevada.

Oh, and Federal Marshals
picked up Flybaker and Beck.

Hello!
Socrates.

Well, I got
my job back.

All I have to do
is deliver
the motorcycles.

You did tell me
you had
the motorcycles.

That's right.

A promise
is a promise.

Oh, no.

Don't tell me.

They're back!

And with a few
improvements
here and there.

Let me show you.

No. Just don't touch
anything,

especially you.

No problem,
Socrates.

[HORSE WHINNIES]

Hey, I said
I'd be right out.

Besides, if I ever
climbed up

on one of those
things again,

he'd k*ll me.

[GRUNTING AND NEIGHING]