01x26 - High Treason Part I

[bunniefuu]

[instrumental music]

[g*nshots]

- Come on.
- Hyah.

We got the whole
U.S. army on our tail.

Ah, it's not even
half a platoon.

We can outrun 'em, Bowler,
let's go.

- Hyah!
- Hyah!

- I'm waitin'.
- For what?

One of your great ideas.

- Mexico.
- Mexico?

That's it! That's the border
right over there.

[g*nshots continue]

There's gotta be somethin'
better than Mexico.

Yeah? What about the
other half of that platoon?

Like I said,
me gusta.

- Hyah!
- Hyah!

(male #)
'Cut 'em off! Cut 'em off!'

(male #)
'Hold it.'

Soldier, disarm
and manacle them.

County, Bowler,
you're under arrest.

For spying against the
United States Government

and committing
the crime of high treason.

[horse neighing]

[theme music]

[music continues]

[indistinct chattering]

Uh, Mr. County, Mr. Bowler, I'm
Lieutenant Walker your attorney.

You don't
sound too sure.

I got assigned your case this
morning. I can't believe this.

You understand you're
being court martialed

for high treason?

We're not guilty,
lieutenant.

They can't try us under m*llitary
law. We ain't in the army.

- Article , section A.
- Come again.

You were ordered into service
under General Quarry's command.

Technically you
were in the army.

Had I known this, I would've
never taken this job.

I never liked the army.

I've spoken with
the judge advocate general

if you plead guilty,
I think I can get you life.

Life?

I understand
you used to be a lawyer

you must know the
penalty for treason.

If you're found guilty you and
Mr. Bowler will be ex*cuted.

sh*t by a f*ring squad
at dawn to be more precise.

Let's get something straight
between you and I, lieutenant.

We're not traitors
and we're not gonna plead.

cr*ck the books and brew
the coffee 'cause you got

a case to prepare.

Well, that's your decision, yes.

But there's something
you should know.

I've never tried a case.

Actually in court.
I've seen a few. Well, two.

A part of one and
all of-of the other one.

- Brisco, tell me I'm dreamin'.
- Wish I could, Bowler.

I wish I could.

(male #)
'By the order of the commanding
officer of U.S. Congress..'

(male #)
'All rise.'

'This tribunal
is hereby convened.'

'Sergeant-at-arms,
read the charges.'

It is hereby charged
that the defendants

Brisco County Jr. and James
Lonefeather aka Lord Bowler

did fire upon U.S.
cavalry personnel.

'Did flee when
pursued by same'

'and did offer aid, comfort
and vital m*llitary information'

to the enemy
while in battle.

How do you plead?

Oh, uh,
not guilty, sir.

Very well, prosecution may
call their first witness.

The prosecution calls..

...Colonel Forest March.

Do you solemnly swear to tell
the truth the whole truth

and nothing but the truth,
so help you God?

- I do.
- Please be seated.

Colonel, how did you come
to know the two defendants?

When they arrived in Pitman

I had been informed
by my commanding officer

General John Quarry,
that County and Bowler

had been assigned by
the President to deal

with the recent kidnapping
of Jennifer Hart.

You're referring
to Jennifer Hart

the daughter of
Frederick Randall Hart?

'Owner and publisher of
American newspapers?'

She'd been kidnapped

by a Mexican revolutionary
named Carlos Falco.

And a ransom demand had been
made for one million dollars.

Granted Miss Hart was
a very important person

but why was this kidnapping
any business of the U.S. army?

Our army had been chasin'
Carlos Falco for months.

We were right on his trail
when he raided Pitman.

(March)
That's when County and
Bowler caught up with us.

There was a great deal
of fear of w*r with Mexico.

Everyone knew that this
kidnapping could be the event

to set the whole thing off.

Alright, I want a pick
along the west perimeter

secure the south end of town.

Lieutenant, we'll
make camp right here.

Yes, sir.

General Quarry.

Brisco County Jr.

This is Lord Bowler.

Welcome to Pitman, gentlemen.

This is Colonel March.

'Your father
was my junior officer'

when we were comin' up
through the ranks.

Yes, sir, he told
me all about it.

He was a strong-willed
and bullheaded man.

Talented in his own way,
but not officer material.

Sure he blamed me for cuttin'
short his m*llitary career.

Well, sir, my father
never dwelled on the past.

And neither do I.

Good.

Let's get down to business.

(male #)
'Colonel March!'

Gentlemen, your job
is to go into Mexico

find out where at Falco's
holding Jennifer Hart..

...and bring her back.

General, why haven't
your men gone after her?

President won't allow
me to cross the border.

But we can.

'That's right. Secretly
with a small elite squad.'

You can get in,
strike quickly, and get out.

If we don't get out

the president pretends
like he don't know us.

'Afraid that's right.'

President wants
the girl back but..

...not at the price
of bein' all out w*r.

Here's the picture
of Jennifer Hart.

General Quarry, our scouts
spotted three of Falco's men

on our side of the border.

Mount up.

[dramatic music]

Hyah!

[speaking in Spanish]

Whoa!

- What are we stopping for?
- Ain't those Falco's men?

In two minutes they'll be across
the border into Mexico.

Not if I can help it.

Nobody's goin' anywhere
but back to camp with me.

- 'Let's go, County.'
- Hyah!

County!

- Mr. Jones!
- Sir.

Draw a bead on that man.

If he fails to pull out
before he crosses the border..

...drop him.

Yes, sir.

Hyah!

Hyah!

So, Colonel March, Mr. County
did capture the bandito

before he crossed
the border, did he not?

Yes, that's right.

And did that bandito
provide the current location

of Falco's headquarters?

- He did.
- And where was that?

(March)
'Pico Blanco, Mexico.'

So, Mr. County succeeded
in obtaining vital information

yet you raised this
incident as an example

of Mr. County's traitorous
and insubordinate behavior

how is that, sir?

I'll tell you how.

Mr. County contravened
a direct order.

He was to cross the border once
and only once with his team.

Not whenever he
damn well felt like it.

(March)
'With tensions running high,
the incident'

could've easily escalated
into full-blown w*r.

It wasn't just his own life
Mr. County was risking..

...it was my life..

...and the lives of my men.
Men who have wives and children.

As their commanding officer,
I think about those risks

every time I give an order.

Well, apparently
Mr. County doesn't.

He never has.

Lieutenant Walker?

Ah!

No further questions.

(Walker)
'You may stand down, sir.'

- Poole!
- Soc!

Got here at the earliest.

Getting credential to help
you was another nightmare.

And you are, sir?

Socrates Poole.

By permission of the
general staff and Washington

I will be aiding the defense.

I brought my own chair.

Very well. Then sit in it.

Let's proceed.

- Hi, Soc.
- You made it.

Prosecution calls to the stand..

...Mr. Pete Hutter.

He's a criminal,
he ain't gonna tell the truth.

Forget it, Bowler, he'll never
make a credible witness.

Thank you,
but if you don't mind..

...I brought my own.

Do you solemnly swear
to tell the truth.

The whole truth and nothing
but the truth so help you God?

- Amen.
- Please answer yes or no.

- Yes, indeed.
- Be seated.

Mr. Hutter, is it safe to say
that you're a criminal by trade?

Maybe not safe,
but accurate.

Even though you're a criminal,
County and Bowler still

recruited you to help them
rescue Jennifer Hart.

'Is that correct?'

That's correct.

A curious choice,
to say the least.

'Where were you
when County and Bowler'

first approached you
with their offer?

Well, at the time I was
workin' for the state.

You creased
my cuffs again, Pete.

A sincere and heartfelt
mea culpa, Tiny.

Give it here,
I'll do it over.

With a smile.

Pardon.

You see, attitude is a big part
of a job well done.

So when you
iron my stuff..

...smile!

Hello, Pete.

Hello, Brisco.

Bowler.

'Is this a social call?'

Or did you come to buy
some of the flowers I make

by folding magazine covers
into tiny little triangles?

We heard you were alive, Pete.

We didn't believe it,
we saw you get k*lled

by that Chinese death star
with our own eyes.

Well, that's the thing about
your Chinese death stars

an hour later
you're alive again.

[Tiny clearing throat]

Oh, where are my manners?

Brisco, Bowler, my long time

cell companion
Tiny Lee Jones.

[grunting]

Pete, we got a deal for ya.

Well, we hear you
worked with Carlos Falco.

Out at his Pico Blanco villa

'and you know
the details of the layout.'

I've guested there
once or twice.

You want me to dispense
this information

for what in exchange?

A presidential pardon on all
crimes currently outstanding.

Oh, uh, plus,
we'll give you this.

My piece.

You've got my piece.

I get my piece back?

- Can I touch it?
- Oh, not just yet, Pete.

But that's a pretty sweet deal
all around, wouldn't you say?

I am outta here.

One thing first.

Tiny..

...the only thing
tinier than your brain

is the likelihood that a
mouth-breathin', psychopathic

wall of stinkweed, like you,
is ever gonna get out

'of this dung wad,
you got lifer staked'

on your forehead just like
everybody in that microcephalic

imbecile-raided, beer-suckin',
cousin-marryin'

family of elephants
that you come from.

(Pete)
'Hope you like the
way I did your cuffs.'

So long, farewell,
auf wiedersehen, goodnight.

I'm all yours, Brisco.

That's good, Pete, but we just
need to see the warden first.

We'll get you outta here
in a couple of hours.

See you later, baby.

[Tiny growling]

Tiny.

I've got time to give
your pants a quick press.

As soon as I could ride again,
I joined Brisco and Bowler

as they assembled
their team of experts

necessary to make
the raid on Falco's villa.

(Pete)
First on the list
was Aaron Viva.

Brisco knew he was an expert

in hand-to-hand combat.

You boys ain't nothing but
hound dogs, cryin' all the time.

How about you, son?

You want some more?

Ugh!

I didn't think so.

[crowd cheering]

(Brisco)
'Hello, sheriff.'

Well, treat me like a fool!

(Aaron)
'Hello, Brisco.'

Hey, let's get some lunch.

(Pete)
Next on the list was the
combustible Albert Wickwire.

Pseudo master of inventions
and father figure to Brisco.

- Brisco!
- Hello, professor.

[Albert coughing]

- Are you okay?
- Oh, yeah.

Workin' on a
new kind of balloon.

It uses hydrogen
for a lift.

Wonderful stuff
but a little unstable.

[coughing]
Oh, the humanity.

- Uh, professor.
- Yeah?

Is that dynamite
in your pocket or--

- Where?
- Here.

I don't know.

You're right,
that's dynamite.

Uh, professor..

...we need you and some of your
inventions for a mission.

- Where to?
- Mexico.

Que bueno.

Gotta get my coat.

Finally, there was Whip Morgan

who fancied himself
a daredevil.

Liked to hang
around with Brisco.

- Hiya, Whip.
- Brisco.

Bowler!

How you been?

Oh, not too bad.
Yourself?

You know.

Man at your roomin' house
said you had a little trouble.

Yeah, I had a run-in
with the sheriff.

Didn't like me datin'
his daughter I guess.

(Whip)
'I was datin'
the judge's daughter'

and the mayor's daughter too.

Ah, picture's getting
a little clearer.

Whip, uh, we got
a job down in Mexico

thought you might
like to ride with us.

Pay good?

- Well, it is government work.
- Scratch that.

'Course the job
is rescuing a girl.

Oh, I think I got it.

[grunting]

(Whip)
'Looks like I'm free.'

Mexico, huh?

Why not?

Mr. Hutter, would you say
any of these men qualified

as professional soldiers?

Hardly.

(prosecuting attorney)
'Indeed.'

You might say that Mr. County
had a premeditated plan

to choose men based solely
on their loyalty to him.

Objection! Where's
the question there?

Is that correct?

Affirmative.

(prosecuting attorney)
'After your team was assembled'

did Mr. County provide
details of the mission?

Yes, indeedy he did.

And what were they?

He told us we were
gonna rescue the girl

but he never planned to give
her back to Quarry at all.

That's a bull-faced lie!

Sit down, sir.

And what did Brisco say
his ultimate motive was?

To disgrace General Quarry.

Keep the girl himself and take
the ransom money as a reward.

That is complete bull!

[gavel pounding]

I will not tolerate
another outbreak.

Forget it.

Nothing further.

Your witness.

Allow me.

Mr. Hutter..

...correct me if I'm wrong
but, uh, short of m*rder

you've been charged with
or convicted of pretty much

every crime in the book,
isn't that correct?

I have never violated any
agricultural quarantine laws.

(Socrates)
'You have a list of
crimes a mile long.'

And I'm certain the
prosecution is offering you

a sweetheart deal
in exchange for your testimony.

Objection!

And yet you expect us to believe
that without prejudice

you, all of a sudden,
are telling us

the truth here today,
is that correct?

Yes, that's absolutely correct.

Nothing further.

What's the story, Poole?

President ain't gonna
help us, is he?

[horse neighing]

He offered to help you escape.

Soc, we don't want to escape,
we just want justice.

It's too late,
the president's hands are tied.

Our hands are
the ones that's tied.

President knows Quarry's
running against him

in the next election.

Quarry's got Hart and his
newspapers backing him.

And since we work
for the President

if they can
court martial you here

they'll badly tarnish
the president's image.

Not to mention we'll be dead.

And if the President
pardons you, he'll look worse.

Quarry's got it all figured out,
doesn't he?

It's politics at
the highest level.

But he is offering you freedom.

He's got a few loyal agents,
who will get you out of here

'and into Mexico.'

No!

Forget it.

Well, how long will we
have to stay down there?

Forever.

Look, you don't
really have a choice.

I'm stayin'.

I'm American.
I'm gonna die in America.

Just don't want that
to happen now.

You understandin' me, Poole?

You find some way
to get us outta here.

For all I know
Quarry's stacked the tribunal.

Do you really understand
what you're doing?

We understand,
but we're not gonna

flee the country as traitors.

Then you don't understand.

Because if you stay here,
you're going to die.

Mr. County..

...you, Mr. Bowler
and your team..

'...had a plan to rescue
Jennifer Hart, did you not?'

We did.

And I want this court to know
the truth about what happened.

(Brisco)
Following General Quarry's
orders, Bowler and I

led our team across
the border into Mexico.

Heading south
towards Pico Blanco.

That's where Falco was
holding Jennifer Hart prisoner.

Or so we thought.

Well, another cordon bleu
nightmare is over.

Fascinating what sustains
the United States army.

I love it.

Especially this brown stuff,
whatever it is.

Alright, let's go over this
whole thing one more time.

Pete, tell us
about Falco's villa.

Eight bedrooms, five baths,
walk-in closets.

I'd say square feet,
on a view lot with traditional

adobe construction,
tongue and groove flooring.

Who's guardin' it?

Falco's men guard the town,
the road up to the villa

and the villa itself.

And the girl?

There's only one
place she could be.

Jail cell on the villa patio,
second floor, left side.

Are you sure?

Doubt is nowhere in my mind.

Alright, Aaron,
you'll take out the guards.

I'll be using
my stuff on 'em.

Whip, you and Pete will
create the distractions.

Professor.

There you go, Pete.

(Albert)
'Now, pay attention.'

Alright now..

...simply...light your
fuse right here.

And you launch it,
with your crossbow.

(Albert)
'It should all be
quite exciting.'

No problem.

Next, professor.

Schwenke sisters put
these together.

Authentic Mexican
peasant costumes.

The rhinestones
were not discussed

we can take care of that.

Don't you touch mine.

Now, this is interesting.

But, uh, not for
this assignment.

Professor, is that
wagon all set?

Set...rigged and ready.

(Albert)
'There's pounds
of dynamite in there'

'you'll need to be feet
from the blast area'

'and that doesn't
account for shrapnel.'

Okay, now let's remember,
from the time we start

we'll have eight minutes
until Whip rides in

that's it, everything's
got to be set in motion.

I'll be standin' by
at the rendezvous point.

Why is that?

Getting k*lled is just not part
of my karma right now, Pete.

Are there any other questions?

(Aaron)
'Uh, just one.'

You gonna eat that biscuit?

[church bell tolling]

Okay.

This is where
we say adios.

Good luck.
We'll see you at the corral.

[indistinct chattering]

[grunting]

Now there's Newton's
gravitational theory

up close and personal.

Alto!

Are you lonesome tonight?

Que?

Shall I come back again?

Yo no soy.

[dramatic music]

Thank you very much.

[instrumental music]

- There's the jail cell.
- Alright, let's do it.

[music continues]

No girl.

Pete said that he was absolutely
certain she'd be in there.

Not a doubt
nowhere in his mind.

- Now what do we do?
- Plan B.

- Plan B?
- Yeah.

Get the heck outta here
before somebody sees us.

Ooh, wait.

I gotta signal Pete
not to sh**t.

Now what is
that supposed to mean?

Idiot.

- You might wanna see this.
- Gotta take care of him first.

This can't wait.

What am I supposed to do?

The plan is to fire.

No signaling required.

Thus, if I'm not firin'
and he's signaling..

It must be that
I should be firin'.

- What?
- Take a look.

You got to wake up
pretty early in the mornin'

to confound Pete Hutter.

Tell me that ain't
Jennifer Hart

with her arms wrapped around
Carlos Falco.

I would, Bowler,
but I'd be lying.

I think we've been had.

Well, maybe she's
under duress.

More like
he's under her dress.

[sizzling]

Remind me not to give Pete
the genius of the month award.

[expl*si*n]

[g*nshots]

- Now what?
- Now we'll finish the job.

Who are you?
What do you want?

We want the girl.

Never.

Get down!

- They okay?
- They're just knocked out.

That makes my job easier.

[dramatic music]

What a moron.

Whoa!

Hyah! Hyah!

Hyah!

Get on, little doggie!

.

- Whip, come on!
- !

- Today!
- !

Let's go!

(Whip)
', , ..'

[instrumental music]

It's your move, Comet.

Horse to king's bishop three.

Very interesting.

[horse neighing]

Aha! You're playing
the Falkbeer Countergambit, huh?

You're really feeling
your oats today, huh?

[grunting]

[horses galloping]

Excuse me.

Brisco! Boys, how'd it go?

Not quite like we
expected, professor.

Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

- Is that the girl?
- Yeah, that's her more or less.

I've heard that riding
like that's very good

for the stomach muscles.

She got knocked out,
but she'll be fine.

Alright, boys, Falco can't be
too far behind

this is where
we split up.

Brisco, I believe you
owe me somethin'.

Yes, Pete.

(Brisco)
'I do indeed.'

Here's your piece.

Oh, baby, you're home.

(Pete)
'My piece.'

Later, baby, we don't
have to do this in public.

Brisco.

(Aaron)
'Ugh, I'm fine,
I've been workin' on that.'

Brisco, adios amigo.

Brisco, I wish
we had more time

I'd like to talk to you
about my airship.

I just finished it,
it's beautiful.

It's the mother
of all coming things.

I'd like to talk to you
about your ideas regarding

atmospheric navigation.

As soon as we
get back, professor.

- You be careful.
- Oh, yeah.

- It's just you and me now.
- Alright, let's ride.

[instrumental music]

How did General Quarry
get two famous

bounty hunters
to do his dirty work?

Since when did rescuing
kidnapped victims

become "dirty work," Brisco?

I'm not a kidnapped victim.

You saw it with your own eyes,
I'm in love with Carlos.

We're engaged to be married.

Why is your father
so keen on gettin' you back?

'Cause he doesn't want to
believe that I would leave..

...a life of money and privilege

'to live with somebody
like Carlos Falco.'

Maybe Carlos Falco's raids
on American border towns

had somethin'
to do with it?

Quarry staged those raids.

'And he used the soldiers
to dress up like Carlos' men.'

You better eat somethin',
we got a long ride ahead.

You don't get it, do you?

Quarry wants w*r,
and he's using

my father's newspapers
to get it.

Why?

Because wars make good heroes.

And heroes make good presidents.

[instrumental music]

Please!

I'm telling the truth.

As soon as Carlos
crosses that border

Quarry will k*ll him.

Let's go!

I wanna make
the border by morning.

[dogs barking]

Congratulations, County,
you did it.

I had my doubts.

Welcome home, Jennifer.
Happy to be back in the USA?

Go to hell.

Gentlemen, you're dismissed,
I'll take it from here.

- Colonel March!
- Sir?

Get the men ready to ride out.

We wanna make sure
we've a nice reception ready

for Mr. Falco
when he crosses the border.

(March)
'Yes, sir.'

What are you waiting for?

You're dismissed.
That's an order.

Brisco, Jennifer Hart
was telling the truth.

What are we gonna do,
just ride out?

Yeah.

But not by ourselves.

Now you're talkin'.

- What do you want?
- Come on!

Come where?

Call me a romantic, hurry.

But we're takin' you home.

[dramatic music]

[indistinct shouting]

If you refuse to answer
the question, Mr. County..

...I will hold you
in contempt.

Yeah? So, what's that?
Death plus days in the pokey?

Brisco.

You spirited Miss Hart away
against her will.

Then confronted by the enemy,
you neglected to open fire.

Nor did the enemy
fire on you.

Why?

Carlos, don't sh**t!

They're on our side.

Quarry knew
you'd come after Jennifer.

You're ridin' into a trap.

I don't trust you.

Do you trust me?

Carlos, they're
telling the truth.

- Did you bring the dynamite?
- Why?

Because maybe we can
slow them down before we leave.

[speaking in Spanish]

Alright, go ahead
and get outta here!

We'll delay 'em.

And what exactly did you do
with the enemy's dynamite?

[intense music]

I sure hope
we know what we're doin'.

We're preventing that lunatic
from becoming president.

Fall back! Fall back!

You ignited dynamite

in the path
of American soldiers.

Yes or no?

Yes.

Then, after you had stalled them
for sufficient time

you and Mr. Bowler fled?

Yes, we did.

Why would you resort
to such cowardice

if you didn't believe
you had betrayed your country?

Because we knew
we'd been set up.

We knew we had to have proof
before we turned ourselves in.

Proof, I might add, you have
yet to share with this court.

Proof, that in anyway supports
your laughable contention

'of some
Machiavellian conspiracy'

'on the part of the general.'

I submit to this court
that the true motivation

behind these crimes
lies solely and completely

with Mr. County's desire
for revenge.

That is not true.

In fact, Mr. County's entire
adult life has been devoted

to avenging his father's demons.

First, John Bly
and his g*ng of

and now General John Quarry.

- Objection!
- Admit it, Mr. County.

'This whole affair's been
nothing but a charade'

'on your part.'

You never intended
to rescue Jennifer Hart.

You merely used her to try
to humiliate General Quarry.

In a perverse attempt to tarnish

one of the most
decorated officers of our time

and pay him back for ruining
your father's reputation!

That's a lie!
That's not the way it happened!

The hell it isn't, sir.

Your Honor,
for heaven's sake.

[coughing]

Ten-hut!

(male #)
'Brisco County Jr., Lord Bowler'

you have been
found guilty of high treason

against
the United States of America.

'The penalty is death.'

'You will be placed in front
of a f*ring squad at dawn.'

This trial ain't
been nothin' but a mockery.

You're the one that's
a disgrace to this country.

Get them out of here.

Swing low

Sweet chariot

Comin' forth
to carry me home

'How're we gonna get
outta this one, Brisco?'

For once, Bowler,
I haven't got a clue.

Them grave diggers
are driving me crazy.

How deep are they going anyway?

Deep enough.

That whole trial was a sham
from the beginning, wasn't it?

Mmm, sure.

We screwed up Quarry's plans.

We let Falco get away.

'He had to save face,
so he made us his scapegoats.'

Yeah, I hate politics.

Hmm.

Brisco, you believe
in the afterlife?

Well, I never
much thought about it before.

How about you?

When I was growing up..

...my mama put this little
porcelain angel over my bed.

She told me it would
watch over me my whole life..

...make sure
everythin' was alright.

'And when I d*ed..'

'...it'd take me by the hand..'

'...guide me into the after.'

You mind if I hitch a ride?

Fine by me.

Damn!

How deep are they goin' anyway?

[bugle music]

[music continues]

Would you like
the blindfold?

[sniffles]

I don't know what to say.

I really don't.

You better get going, Soc.

(Brisco)
'Hey, uh..'

...tell Dixie I was thinkin'
about her, will ya?

God bless you both.

[melancholic music]

f*ring squad ready!

We had a good run,
didn't we, Brisco?

Aim!

Yeah, we sure did, Bowler.

Fire!