03x06 - Crisis in the Love Zone

[bunniefuu]

springtime a time of pretty flowers

buzzing bees chirping birdies

and oh yeah one more thing

a deadly disease that moves with face

kicking speed contaminating everything

in its path

including our town

wells fargo

adults call it spring fever

they say it's harmless but we've seen

what it can do

and the strain that hit this year

was the mushiest one ever

[Music]

the love sickness struck without warning

turning its victims into pathetic

drooling slush hogs

and as the body count kept climbing

nona and i began to wonder

how long could we hold out

[Music]

have you picked me

[Music]

me

[Music]

there's no way to know

when the fever will hit

or how deadly the outbreak will be

[Music]

all we can do is keep our eyes open from

warning signs

like this not curdling face

a sure sign that my brother pete had

been turned into a sap sucking love

doofus

Warning Signs

[Music]

another warning sign is neighborhood

mutants sporting some tattoos of love

compliments of me and my friend mr

sunshine

[Music]

yucco

The Letter

to make extra sure we were still immune

nona and i had to have special emergency

checkups

blood pressure

hunky dory now let's check your reflexes

ready love

but

i can't hear you

[Music]

love

bite

you're healthier than a hound dog

contamination alert

it was mail carrier eunice puel

she didn't just carry letters in her bag

she carried the fever

morning pete nona

beautiful day isn't it if you like

sunshine and if you love the friendly

buzzing of mr b

hi there mr b

and the birds singing their little

chirpity chirp chirp

it's spring

and that means love is in the air

love is

everywhere

except these steps oh i don't know

sometimes love can hide where you least

expect it

take this letter it looks ordinary

enough

vellum envelope series g stamp nine

digit zip code for easier handling

but smell it

jasmine whisper

sure sign that deep inside this envelope

there's talk of moonlight dancing in

somebody's eyes

the sounds of bells ringing across the

river whenever she wants me

i still really don't know what happened

next

they were just shoelaces but they were

so

so

cute

all of a sudden my liver began to sweat

my brain began to wobble and my heart it

went

oh no

what is it

[Music]

love bites pete remember love

[Music]

Love Bites

but i love her it's pete girls like

heather don't talk to guys like you want

a bath

hey heather

drop dead i quit breathing my air

you see

pete i gotta go ellen don't be jealous

i'm not jealous i'm trying to make the

tennis team just one ball that's all i'm

asking

one ball boom over the fence

she'll look at and say

little help

and i'll you know just kind of

amble on over

pick up that ball

and give her more help than anyone's

ever given her

you're pathetic

i do it for you

[Music]

sorry heather

i just had it restrung a little help

please i got it

while ellen's

help

only dragged my brother deeper into the

fever i had to snap pete out of it using

the scientific approach

[Music]

okay pete let's hear it

come on pete you can do it love

[Music]

Stingfest

all right wrigley let's go don't be

loser don't be a dud

don't fall in love or you'll feel like

cry

come on just eight more miles and the

fever will be kaputski now bust a rock

you

are the sunshine of my life

eat sludge stingfest lover's worse than

swollen gland

hey it's working i come bearing gifts

it's my meat masterpiece

notice the delicate array of meat

selections from your lovely pepper loaf

head tear

snuggly ugly liverwurst toes

i'm especially fond of the boiled ham

cast

love four losers love for dinks

love smells worse

than a cocky sink

[Music]

[Music]

drippity chirpity chief

Operation Heart Punch

what

happened

eunice pew

she's my little whisky bush kid

[Music]

once i started talking

baby talk the fever was back in all its

pukifying glory

only one thing could save me now

operation

heart punch

[Applause]

[Music]

it's dj clark

[Music]

Krepstar

operation heart punch is brought to you

by the fine folks at krep star

from sponge cake to space stations it's

gotta be krep star

nona

if you're watching this tape then i've

reached love con one the first stage of

the fever

unless you neutralize it the pete

wrigley you used to know

will disappear

you gotta move fast

or soon

i'll say the three

most gut boiling words

in the entire universe

[Music]

your mission

find my brother pete

he'll know how to save

good luck nightcrawler

you can count on me

i promise this is the last ball

i think heather's warming up to me

Tennis

pickle quit talking to that dwink and

let's go

coming

pete you said one more ball two days ago

ugh i hate it when you make that face

all right one more

[Music]

oops

oops

gee what a surprise it's you

a little help oh lucky for you i was

passing by huh yeah lucky for me great

game tennis

more of a badminton man myself it's like

tennis thinner racket no ball if uh

you'd like to learn i'll hire a pro do

you mind

uh not at all

[Music]

um

crosswind so i'll get it

[Music]

what are you doing pete your brother's

got the fever

holy moly

it's bad

excuse me sometime this year

this is not a good time

but he's drooling

you're the only one who can help him

come on

ellen just open a new can

no no i'll get it

listen just give pete some aspirins he

likes a chewable kind

pete had gone glandular

and if nona didn't find a way to save me

from the fever

i'd be next

Worms

nona

if my brother failed then i've reached

lovecon too

i'm sorry you have to see me this way

did you ever notice

how worms bunch up in a ball when you

put them in a jar

it's kind of

romantic

i know and when you try to take one worm

out

the others won't let go

oh

it's

beautiful

so beautiful

[Music]

keep fiddling johnny

[Applause]

[Music]

if you're ever going to stop me from

saying

then you've got to get someone to

b*at the fever out of me

and there's only one person in

wellsville who can do it

Love Has Changed Me

i am gonna punch out a symphony on his

face

and dedicate his pain to you

that's so romantic shut up

you're prepared to

wait a minute

this is a test

you want to see if i've changed

well i'm a new man

but

that you can't stain surgeon stink

let's not forget the moistest man alive

no

no i'll prove it love love has changed

me

love

is

what wakes the birds in the morning

love talks them in at night

love makes the clouds take warning

love makes everything all right

love makes the dewdrops glisten

so listen

Spring Fever

if you're still watching pit's staying

sogged out

nona

you've got to find someone

anyone who doesn't have the fever

maybe they'll have the answer

it's my last hope

[Music]

no no i'm trying to play here it's pete

he's got the fever he's gone kablanker

yeah spring fever

there's a lot of that going around here

a little help

i got it

[Music]

this fever it turns you into a spazzo

a slobbering

yeah

i didn't

monkey

a poor

sweet sentimental fool

look at him

ellen don't lose it

you gotta fight it ellen

why fight love

[Music]

Hey Pete

and so ellen hickle my last hope

fell like a sack of pig guts

she felt so hard she took the rest of us

with her

dear pete

it took me so long to see how much you

mean to me

the way the sunlight plays on your

freckles

the way the wind washed through your

soft right hand

another day another couple brought

together at third class rates

[Music]

hey pete

hey eunice how's every little thing

great pete i'd stay in chat but you know

love like the u.s mail waits for no one

peed wrigley

for me

dear pete

it took me so long to see how much you

mean to me

the way the sunlight plays on your

freckles the way the wind wafts through

your soft red hair

now i really know in my deepest heart

i love you

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

heckle let's start before that creep

shows up

oops

too late

[Music]

alan

great i was hoping you'd be here you

were

so did you um get anything in the mail

did i

i don't know what i was thinking

me too

those old sneakers were terrible no

traction at all

look what i sent away for

these babies will bite the turf

sneakers

hit me a good one ellen me and my pro

crabs are ready

you want a ball

i'll give you a ball

[Music]

i got it

[Music]

i got it

i got it

i got it

i got it

Love Con 4

well

i guess it's all over by now i've

reached the final stage love con4

and any minute

these words

are gonna come hurling out of my mouth

and i'll be lost

in the sinkhole

of love

nona

don't remember me as a

squealing

dripping love

remember

the pete you knew

remember

the peta used to be

[Music]

flowers nature's own parcel of love

are they for somebody special

i think so

i've been working on a poem it's for you

pete

hush my sweetest

to mail woman pure

through rain and snow

and even car stall out

through fire and locusts and nuclear

fallout

no one i know is as steadfast and true

no one i know

is as special as you

eunice puel puli

[Music]

eunice

i love

you

and i love you

i love you i love you

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

you love

what are you talking about

love bites love rules kiss me carrot

head

crawl into your cocoa

pete before you say anything wait

i need to give you this letter back

eunice

e

i think we both know this is a big

mistake

you know

i think you're right

you'll know who to give it to someday

i think i already know

[Music]

calm down

[Music]

pardon me ellen

i'm afraid this was delivered to the

wrong person

i'm sorry

i misrouted the course of true love

[Music]

i'll make sure he gets this

the male isn't always perfect

but like love

it eventually makes it through

[Music]

what happened

you had a big fall pete

i guess i got a little bit carried away

when i hit that ball

i'm sorry

i don't know what came over me spring

fever

glad that's over

at least you didn't get it

yeah

and as quickly as it came the worst

fever wellsville had ever seen finally

started to burn itself out

one by one people returned to normal

[Music]

even no no

stop that

just kidding would the fever be back

next year

maybe

but we'd be ready

[Music]

this

[Music]

[Applause]

we

[Music]

making mine

[Applause]

[Music]