03x08 - Allnighter

[bunniefuu]

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it's called school

260 days a year it owns your life

you're told where to go

what to say

even went to go to the bathroom

but what would happen if you ran the

school no rules no teachers what if you

had the whole school all to yourself

all night long

what would you do where would you go

and most importantly

would you make it out

alive

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or have you picked a target yet

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hey

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this is the story of three kids who took

the idea of staying after school and

blew it right out of the water

like any great adventure

it started not with a bang but with a

wimp

a wimp named principal ken schwinger

now let's see who we have here

ah mr

wayne pardou

i hear they call you wayne the pain

now i wonder how your mother would feel

if she knew why

you were here

what was wayne doing there

he got busted

for impersonating a hall monitor

whoa pilgrim i'll pass

now you listen tight

walking works just as well as running i

got my eye on you

pardo

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in my office

monica purling

little miss crab scout

i guess when you took your oath you

forgot that part about being obedient

and brave

monica's crime was getting stuck

it's been 40 minutes young lady get down

now or you're banned from the rope

a crab scout is brave monica was too

scared to climb up and too proud to give

up her quest

to ring the bell at the top

[Applause]

in my office

now

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which brings us to you mr wrigley

nice to see you

you're looking well

for someone who's about to be

scaled and

gutted

like a freckled flounder

say it don't spray it

what schwinger had on my brother was the

most serious offense of all

it happened in biology just before some

innocent worms were going to be

surgically sliced in the name of science

unfortunately

pete got busted for trying to smuggle

them to safety

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what they're my friends

we were just going to grab some lunch

in my office

i might not be the smartest man in the

world

then again

i might be

but i do know one thing

school has rules

rules give us meaning

rules give us hope

meaning and hope check

principal schwinger the art class has

taken over the kiln they said they have

a list of demands

those footballs

when i come back

we'll discuss your punishment till then

you stay in those seats and think about

what you've done

[Applause]

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[Applause]

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turns out there was plenty of time to

think

just not a whole lot to think about

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this is the church this is the steeple

open

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monica

schwinner said not to move till he comes

back

he's not coming back

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ah those jack we just left this here

locked us in i'm trapped no way out

wayne don't get a goiter

i'll call my mom she'll pick us up yeah

well what if the phones are dead no one

will ever know we're here don't you get

it we're all alone

all

alone

wayne

you're right

monica

right mom we're all staying at wayne's

house tonight could you tell pete's mom

too

thanks

what are you flippa maniacs doing

we know

we're free

we have the whole school to ourselves we

can do anything anything but live

don't you know about

the night guard

they say he roams the halls each night

jingle

jangle jingle those are his keys

what does he want

human flesh

and on every full moon

you can see him on the roof

hacking

slicing

dicing

wayne that's just a stupid story

oh remember that

you're headless

fine

go ahead wayne

call home

it's just too bad

because tonight

it could have been

a monitor

think of it wayne

the official

sacred sash

hello

hello

okay i'm in

so it was official they were there to

stay it was time to see the same old

school

in a whole new way

it was as if they were the only people

left on

earth the sole survivors of some bizarro

government experiment

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i've always wanted to do that

i've been looking all over for these

for one beautiful spleen tingling

afternoon wellsville middle school was

ruled by the nightcrawlers

[Applause]

and now for your listening pleasure

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wow

[Applause]

and as night fell

monica decided it was time to explore

forbidden territory

i've never seen anything like it

what is it

uh it's uh

it's a foot washer

yeah that that white puck thing

makes your feet smell pine fresh

can i try it

hey

it feels good

it smells good too

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what

i don't hear anything

that's because you're not part talk

one of my ancestors

married a bloodhound

i have exceptional hearing

thank god oh geez louise we're gonna get

our faces easy

[Applause]

for one amazing night my brother pete

and his pals had wellsville middle

school all to themselves

it was supposed to be a night of freedom

but it turned into a night of terror

[Applause]

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what are you doing

dr clyde marker

says

i should breathe into a paper bag

whenever i get scared so i don't

hyperventilate

i heard

that when the night god gets you up

there alone

it cuts off your head

eats your eyeballs

use your skin to make

pants oh geez louise

um pete

i can't believe i'm saying this but

let's get out of here i know

besides

if i go home without my skin

my mom will k*ll me

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stupid rope

i could have climbed it

i know i couldn't

now i'm banned for life

monica wait

he can't scare us off this is our night

monica

when you get to the top you ring that

bell for all of us

i got the bottom

wayne

you take the hall

there was a farmer who had a dog and

bingo was his name-o

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come on

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holy mackerel

he's

he's

he's

he's coming

i did it i did it

should i go go

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that sauce

yeah

let's talk about it on the way home

i'm ready how about you pete

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pete

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pete

whatever you're thinking please stop

thinking it

it's locked

we've gotta save those worms before they

get chopped up tomorrow

here's another idea we leave before we

get chopped up

uh-uh we've got to get that key

why do you hurt me so

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all clear

he's not in there

wayne

you stay here

if you hear the night guard coming

flick the lights three times

you got that

flick the kites three times

we're gonna die

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wayne pardew

a big cat

moves like

a cat

where is he

over here

no no no

over

there

the cat

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peter

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[Applause]

wow

dude they're dead they're dead

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look at kite three mimes right sash boy

they're live

they're live they're alive no thanks to

you know in crab scouts we have a term

for guys like you

wuss on a stick

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hold on you guys once we get you outside

you'll be home free

did you know

the average worm is both male and female

really

what bathroom do they use

intruders

listen to me

i know where you are

you can't get away we've got a hamstring

not without the worms

it's too heavy

he'll catch us

that's where you're wrong lady we in

pardue

hall monitor

at your service

how are you going to stop it

easy

i'll just ask him for his all pass

now go

go i say

i'll jump to you later

who goes there

gonna need to see your hall pass pronto

please

i'm sorry but but if you don't have a

pass i'm gonna have to report you

he got wayne

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oh no

footsteps

two pair

pete the night guard's got him

on the roof

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uh

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[Applause]

hey guys i thought you'd got home

wait we thought you were dead

nah you're just gardening roger he

showed me how to repot a night bloom

important thing is to make sure you get

all the roots

it turns out the night guard had a night

garden

his lonely nights were a little less

lonely

with his friends

sometimes

we played cards

but now he had some new friends and

thanks to pete some new worms to keep

his garden healthy

how does it feel to be free

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you won't tell honest

unless you tell on me nobody knows about

this place

anybody comes up here i'll just come

full

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hey look it's winner

yeah

come on let's move

see you soon roger next full moon

that's when they'll be blossoming again

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what are you doing here you told us not

to move a muscle till you got back

remember

but that was

yesterday

which means

i wonder how my mother will feel

well let's uh not do anything

hasty i i think we can work this thing

out

i know why don't you take the day off

great

and while we're gone

you stay in this chair

and you think about what you've done

tomorrow we'll discuss

your issue

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sure they'd have to go back to school

the next day

and sure they'd have to face the same

stupid rules

but for one heart-twirling night the

school was theirs

and the feeling would last forever

[Applause]

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she gave me

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fall down

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[Applause]

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you