02x01 - The Debutante Job

[bunniefuu]

Brakes.

Airbags.

Unlock doors.

Come on.

Oh, thank
God. Thank God.

Get your ass back in the car.

Accelerate.

Is that taser bedazzled?

Oh, yeah, a little
Christmas gift from my girl.

- It's nice, isn't it?
- Yeah.

- You see the pretzel?
- I do.

That is hand-bejeweled.

You don't see artisanal
craftmanship like that no more.

Boy, ain't that something?

All I'm saying is that according
to my notes and my schedule,

our reaction times
were a little slow.

And, Breanna, we gotta discuss
your disguise protocols.

- My disguise?
- She's...

Parker's a crawfish.

- Hey!
- Yes, and a very convincing one.

Look, we had a plan, and
we deviated three times.

Listen, all we're saying is that
since you started running the crew,

- you're a little more...
- Boring.

Well, I was gonna
say "thorough."

I'm sorry.

I'm responsible for our safety,
and that requires planning.

Look, it just feels like you might
be wearing somebody else's hat.

- Hat?
- Like Nate.

No.

Well, you said "ugly
hat." Whose hat?

I didn't say... I
just said "hat"!

Look, people have different swings, okay?

Nate ran things like
clockwork, and you're more...

not a clock.

No, no, no, no, no, I am
not attempting to be Nate

any more than Breanna's
attempting to be...

- Hardison!
- Yes, that.

- Ah!
- My man!

What up? Hey!

Baby, hey.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

- Ooh.
- Oh, this...

What up?

- Breanna, guess what.
- What's up?

Somebody threw away
my orange soda.

Um...

453 bottles just gone.

- You count? Weird.
- Yeah.

Uh, it just, it got bad,
you know? It got chewy.

- Chewy?
- Yeah.

Please explain how
soda gets chewy.

Here are your
disgusting dirtballs.

These are truffles, man.
We did a whole con of it.

- You know what?
- They stank.

Wait, wait, wait, you're not
due home for another month.

I thought you were busy with your
handsome, millionaire actor friend,

who I wanna meet, by the way.

No.

And his satellite is being prepped for
launch, so I got a little time off.

But in the meantime, I need
your help with something.

I'm sorry, did you
just touch my screens?

Those are my screens.

- Whose screens? Who?
- Mine.

I'm sorry, I can't hear nothing.
I can't. I can't hear nothing.

Oh, look, Pietr Volkov.

Pietr Volkov.

No.

You weren't
smiling. Why?

Who? Why? What's up? Why? Why is
my presentation not coming up?

Oh, I found your controls
kind of antiquated,

so I flipped the button.

Oh, you flipped. Wow, you are
so smart. You are so smart.

I bet you could spell every word in
the dictionary except for "respect."

At least I'm not dressed
like a restaurant hostess.

- Stop it.
- Girl.

What? Did you... How?

- Need some help with that?
- I'm good.

- Oh.
- I'm good. I got this. I'm good.

Thank you.

Pietr Volkov.

He's the president of an Eastern
European country, Alstonia.

Now, the man loves classic R&B.
He loves long walks on the beach.

He also loves crushing freedom and putting
anybody that disagrees with him in prison.

Bradley Simkov here,
he's a reporter.

He got out the country just
ahead of the secret police.

He writes about Volkov for
the International Press.

He's so good, in fact, that Volkov's
guys took a run at him this week.

But it's cool. I stashed him
in the London safe house.

Now, Bradley has
a tip that Volkov,

while he is smacking down his
citizens with his right hand,

he's got his left hand
in the cookie jar.

The man is stealing antiquities and funds
from the country and shipping it overseas.

So we steal what he's stealing.

Mm, that's like your egg.

See, if it were that easy, I'd just
let the London Leverage crew handle it.

But Bradley, he needs proof.

The man needs legal
proof of Volkov's crimes

that will stand up in court

so that the newspapers aren't
afraid to print his story.

But even if the bad press
does get Volkov sanctioned,

- if he hides his assets...
- No, that's not the play.

Countries like this never
have just one Volkov.

He's got rivals,
generals, other rich guys.

They find out he's stealing
without cutting them in, boom.

Bring Volkov down,

pro-democracy party's got
a chance in the chaos.

Well, if this was the London
crew, it'd be my call.

But with this crew,
it's Sophie's decision.

I don't know.

A job like this, I mean, it would
take masses of research and logistics.

Boring.

And legal proof.

It's not really our thing.

Although, we do know an expert.

First day, these construction company
lawyers are gonna try to intimidate you

out of suing for your accident.

I don't want you to worry, though.
I am here for you all the way.

Good morning.

Mr. Wilson, I presume.

Uh...

Don't believe we've met.

Beatrice Campbell,
outside counsel.

They brought me in when
they realized just how badly

they had screwed the pooch
on this particular case.

Especially after you got
your hands on that video.

Video?

Oh, the, uh, the video.

Now, if anyone here...

Bob...

Doubts that the smart thing
to do is to settle generously,

why don't you throw
that video on up there?

I can't
take this anymore.

I swore an oath as a civil
engineer to do no harm,

but this company has cut corners
on everything that they do

in the name of a
false god of profit.

I was unaware that a civil
engineer took such an oath.

As was I.

So I uploaded all the emails
this company has ever sent to us,

asking us to use a
lower-quality rebar.

Or this one.

"Just fill out the
inspection report yourself."

All right, so I'm putting it on one
file, and I'm sending it out wide.

Then maybe God will forgive me

for serving Moloch, the
devourer of children.

Of course.

Mm-hmm.

I trust this will be sufficient.

Two million.

This place seems
smaller to me somehow.

Or maybe I've grown as a
person and it stayed the same.

Yeah, well, that's why
we had to bail you out.

I had that case locked up.

We know, but it would have taken
you months, and we need you now.

Although I am happy to see you
put the "ex" in "ex-evil lawyer."

Well, that is thanks
to all of you.

These last couple of months, I've actually
been putting my law degree to some good.

Glad to hear it.

Now, I need a primary line of
att*ck and three alternates.

Oh, you're way more playing
facing forward than I remember.

Exactly as I've always been.

Okay, well, his money laundering
is very well constructed.

I kind of admire it, actually,
from an ex-evil lawyer standpoint.

The only weakness I can see is in the
money transfer country to country.

I got you.

Volkov's got private flights
going in and out of this airport

just outside of
London every week.

No passengers, just a
plane going back and forth.

Well, he's not gonna declare
stolen goods at Customs.

Yeah, but he is gonna have
to declare the weight.

They have to find out how
much fuel that flight needs.

A million dollars
runs about a hundred pounds.

A standard gold brick clocks in at
27.4 pounds, which makes it worth...

Hang on, let me look
up the conversion rate.

Approximately
750,000, give or take.

Okay, but if he's stealing as much
as Hardison's reporter thinks,

his plane's fuel
records have to show it.

The manifest.

Yeah, the weights and fuel usage will be
digitally encoded in the flight manifests.

How do we get those?

- From the plane.
- Airport servers.

The plane is more reliable.

Airport servers are
more accessible, fam.

And we will solve
this on the way to London.

Let's go steal...

the burden of proof.

That is a completely new one.

I forgot about that bit.

I got it.

I still don't understand it.

What's up? What's up?

Say what you gotta. What are
we doing? What are we doing?

Pardon me. I'd just like
to check in on our flight.

We're the G4 flight to Zurich.

We'll prep right after we
clear the incoming flight.

Your accent is so charming.

Oh.

- American?
- American. I'm an American lawyer, yes.

Specializing in corporate law, which
really isn't much of a stretch.

I think I could
have handled more.

Harry, it's your first time
back. We had to ease you in.

Right, the plan.

Harry and I are gonna keep
the ground crew distracted

while Volkov's plane's being
unloaded so that Eliot and Parker

can access the airport server.

And the plane's computer.

Thank you.

Follow the plan, and we're in and
out in four minutes and 30 seconds.

Hmm.

That "hmm" just
sounded a little judgy.

No, no, no. No "hmm." Focus.

The plan.

This how you gonna do it?

This how you're gonna organize
the security feed data flow?

- Yeah.
- That's how you're gonna do it?

Yeah, that's how I'm gonna run
that. Everybody likes it like that.

- Mm-hmm, everybody?
- They told me so. What?

Interesting. Interesting.

Sophie. You like the
security feed data flow?

Mm-hmm, everybody loves it.
We can't get enough of it.

Oh, boom. Ba-bow-bow.

Will you guys stop squabbling and
tell me where I'm supposed to go?

Okay, employee entrance
is around the corner.

I've got your marks on my
super-efficient security feed data flow.

- Hmm.
- Hmm.

Actually, you know
what? Pardon me.

Sorry. This country's got
me all turned around, man.

Hell, I looked the wrong way at an
intersection and almost got hit by a bus.

Hahaha. It's not funny.

All right, can you tell me
where I'm supposed to go?

The waiting room is
right around that corner.

Is it? Around this corner?

- All the way down.
- Okay, thank you. Thank you.

We've got eyes
on his security detail.

Likely armed.

Headed your way.

That's an awful lot of security
just to guard some stolen goods.

Oh, no, that's the right
amount of security.

'Cause Volkov is here.

Are you watching those etiquette videos
I found for you? We have to be flawless.

Da. Da.

In English. Practice your English.
It, too, must be flawless.

Hey, two of Volkov's
guys are hanging back.

They're keeping an
eye on the cargo.

I can take 'em out, but
it ain't gonna be quiet.

Well, if they know we pulled the
data, then they could cover it up.

Security is splitting their attention
between Volkov and the plane.

And they'll prioritize Volkov.

So if we pull him away from the
door, they'll come with him.

I don't even want to do
this stupid debut party.

I just feel like a
prop or a picture.

You will.

We have to be accepted
by these British.

The people who matter.

You saw what happened
to the Russians, yes?

Sanctions, their money seized.

Except for those with
friends in the UK.

They were not touched.

We must make friends like that.

Just in case.

Harry, you're staring.
They're gonna notice.

You, you have problem?

Oh, oh, no, no, no.

I was just, um, checking
on Your Grace's flight.

Uh, that is correct?
Is it "Your Ladyship"?

What? The plan is I'm a
Swiss banker with narcolepsy.

I know, but you heard him.
He wants high-class friends.

You're classy.

Excuse me. What he does
mean, "Your Grace"?

We don't have an
ID for Sophia as royalty.

Yeah, we do. Look
at the old files.

Go on, get up in there.

- Old files.
- Mm-hmm.

Okay.

- Twelve years? Twelve years ago?
- Mm-hmm.

You didn't even build that.

The Duchess of Hanover.

But, please, call me Charlotte.

I try to travel incognito,
but, you know, Americans.

Oh.

Of course, Americans.

How nice to meet a gentleman.

Oh, am I to understand
that this charming girl

is about to be introduced
into society at a debut party?

My father says I have to.

Oh, well, darling, your
father's quite right.

I mean, I know it must sound
dreadfully dull to you,

but it really is the most splendid way
to meet the proper class of people.

And I want to hear all
about it. I love a party.

One left. The pilot.

Got any more backup plans?

Sugar. Sugar. Uh,
some food, right?

Where y'all keep the sugar?
Y'all got some sugar?

Sugar?

Oh, no, that's Eliot's
sandwich. What are you doing?

We don't... We don't
play in Eliot's sandwich.

Parker, give Eliot
the hard drive tab.

Breanna, you're gonna walk
him through installing it.

We are gonna run the
drop-off double cross.

Baby. You got the stuff?

Just like you said. They never
checked about our flight.

Yeah.

This your pilot?

Mm-hmm. Couldn't have
done it without him.

Oh, no, no, I was
a different flight.

Go ahead, bro, take your cut.

Oh, no, I was on a
different flight.

- What?
- Uh...

Why doesn't he want his cut?

Why don't you want your cut, bro?
Are you wearing a wire? You flip?

No, I didn't. I didn't.

- I think he's wearing a wire.
- Hey, bro.

- Bro, lift your shirt up.
- Huh?

- Lift your shirt.
- I didn't...

- Pull up your shirt!
- I didn't. I...

You're quite right.

Values are much more
important than blood.

So to meet a man who
wants for his daughter

to continue with British
traditions, well...

Sophie,
Eliot got the data.

Clear for the blow.

I happen to think that
new blood that... May I?

Honors old ideas is a winning
combination for England.

Hey! Hey!

Hey, you got what you need?

These fuel and weight
ratios match exactly when Volkov moved

national treasures
out of the capital.

Here.

The Golden Hawk, 400 pounds.

Used to be above the
entrance to Parliament.

Disappear six months.

One day later, the same weight
is loaded onto the plane.

And thanks to the truly dystopian
level of CCTV coverage in London,

I tracked the truck carrying
it from a private airport

to a London townhouse
registered in Volkov's name.

There's a hundred
items like this.

More than enough evidence I need to
write my story and get it past Legal.

I'll contact my editor now.

Hey, Bradley, Eliot's on his way
over to the safe house to secure it,

so just wait for him.

Okay. Bring more pizza.

All right, I'll
scrub the metadata.

Scrub? You don't
need to scrub anything.

I already put a filter
on the first pass.

Excuse you?

All right, we're taking a break.

We're gonna get some food and we're
gonna talk about our feelings.

- Promise me it's not the puppets.
- Just please no puppets.

The puppets
are how we deal with our anger.

I'll go get them.

I thought you were gonna
talk to her about the puppet.

That's you. That's
definitely you.

- I don't even...
- That's you.

Excuse me.

She got new ones.

Everything all right?

Those two have a few
things to figure out.

No, I mean, um...

Well, you're the one who taught
me how to be light on my feet.

And this whole job,

it seems like you're more interested
in the planning than the plan.

When I started running
the crew when I met you,

I half expected to mess up.

I knew they'd have my
back, but it's different.

It's official.

I need them to trust me,
and I can't let them down.

They still have
your back, but yes,

there's a difference between
being part-time in charge

and fulltime responsibility.

Yes. Oh, it's good
to have you back,

and to have someone to talk to
with a different perspective.

You can talk to me
anytime you want.

You don't have to drag
me to London to do it.

Well, can I drag you
to an art gallery

and we can count the number
of fakes hanging on the walls?

You're in a good mood.

Ah, the con's done.

It's been ages since
I've been in London

without having some
serious problem to solve.

All right.

Bradley's gone.

We have a serious problem.

Eliot's still out looking.

Yes, and Bradley's editor
just got this video.

If any of these lies are published,
we start sending you pieces of him.

If you contact the police, you
won't even find his stashes.

That's how they found Bradley.
He emailed his editor.

But Bradley's email
was encrypted.

But his editor's was not.

So Volkov's people just piggybacked
onto the reply and lured him out.

Listen, Volkov's not gonna k*ll Bradley
in England. He's trying to impress people.

He's gonna wait till he
gets him back to Alstonia.

Parker says they haven't used
airports or train stations.

And with the new border inspections,
they're not gonna risk driving.

And Volkov's private plane
is still on the tarmac.

So Volkov's holding
Bradley somewhere here in London.

But
where and how long?

He's hosting his daughter's
debut ball tonight.

He's probably leaving
straight after that.

Got your message. I thought
we were leaving for breakfast.

Ooh, tied up to a chair in a
basement. That's never good.

What? A basement?

Yeah, unfinished walls
with concrete behind them.

I'm fixing up my basement
so my daughter can move in.

Walls look just like that.

Okay, in swanky London neighborhoods,
you're not allowed to build up, right?

But rich folks, they still want their
private spas, their wine cellars,

their money rooms where they can
swim underground like a cartoon duck.

So they build down.

Luxury basements.

Okay, here's a complaint
that Volkov's neighbor filed.

He claims that Volkov's digging
was flooding his basement,

even though there's no construction
permit for Volkov's mansion.

An unpermitted secret basement.

That's exactly where I'd
hide my political prisoner.

So we meet up with Parker and
Eliot and come up with a plan?

No. No, we're gonna
go with my instinct.

And my instinct says we need
to get into Volkov's party.

- All of us.
- Me, too?

Well, we don't know what kind of
security tech is around Bradley,

and Hardison needs to be mobile.

So, yes, Cinderella, you're
on the main security system.

I get to go to the ball! Yes!

And we need to get
Parker in as background.

Can you get her on
the catering roster?

It's already done.

Okay.

Wait, are you officially back, so I
can start making fun of you again?

We'll see.

All right.

We got the blueprints
to Volkov's main house,

but we are flying
blind in that basement.

Maybe we can learn something
from the neighbor who complained.

Do we have a name on him?

That we do.

Oh, bollocks.

Ah, watch
your step, yeah?

Oh, yeah, so Volkov says to me,
"We're not doing any digging, mate."

And I say, "Oh, well,
mate, then why is there

an absolutely biblical flood
of sewage in my basement?"

Only just moved
everything back in.

Uh, yeah, yeah, so
this is the wall in question, Mr. Roy,

adjacent to the one you
claimed your neighbor built?

Oh, yeah, yeah, but,
oh, I dug mine first.

Right, yeah.

Yeah, it's just, um, you
know, let us inspect things.

And then we'll get
out of your hair.

All right. Hey, I was gonna make
some tea. You fellas want something?

- Oh, no.
- No tea, no tea. All right.

Ooh. Ooh.

Get it together.

What? Dude, that's Ralphie Roy!

I don't care.

My God!

I bet he wrote "Backstreet
Crush" on this guitar right here.

Huh?

"Garden of Yellow."

"Stovepipe City"?

I'm more of a
Britpop guy myself.

Damn it, Hardison.

This man went triple platinum
right here with this album, "Kiki."

He wrote it about a girl
that broke his heart.

Man, when I was a kid,

I practiced the solo of that
song so much, my fingers bled.

Who cares? Get to work, man.

Hey, hey, show the man some
respect. That's the man's canvas.

Hey, how does the
song go to Kiki?

Don't!

Don't engage. Just focus on getting
the imaging of that basement next door.

Okay, I'm initiating the algorithm
to process that sonar data now.

Wait, what? Did you say "sonar"?

Yeah.

It's the same type of equipment they
use to find dinosaur bones. Why?

Is that a sonar sensor?

Oh, uh, I studied to be a sonar
technician with the Royal Navy

before ever picking up a guitar.

Yeah, I was a regular
ping jockey.

Do you mind if I watch
what you're doing?

I really didn't wanna
have to do this.

Ah, this looks very
advanced for city equipment.

What agency are you
working with again?

Oh, bugger all.

Carry on, gentlemen.

Oh, God, these bloody pants!

I'm coming! Hold on!

Hello, Ralphie.

Kiki.

Kiki Montgomery.

I was in the neighborhood.
How have you been?

Oh, Kiki!

The music hasn't been
the same without you.

Come on in. Come on. Hello.

Ralphie. No, no, Ralphie.

You have to behave yourself. I'm
not... I'm not a groupie anymore.

No, no, no, no,
no funny business.

I really need to
listen to that album.

Thanks.

You clean up very
nice, Your Grace.

I barely had a minute to change.

Oh, poor, old Ralphie. I think
it's been lonely in the spotlight.

He talked my bloody ear off.

Remember, we need to get down
to Bradley as soon as possible.

Guards at every
entrance and hallway.

Parker, what have you found?

They've retrofitted this old
mansion with a new security system,

so all the cameras
are wired in a series.

Now, I've traced those camera
wires to a door leading upstairs.

Considering all the security they have,
I'm betting the control room's up there.