[footsteps approaching]
Nicholas!
What are you doing there?
Sack of potatoes.
Don't you remember?
Sack of potatoes? No..
Oh, yeah, now I remember.
We never play it anymore.
Well, that's because I figured
you're too old for that
game now, that's all.
Well, sometimes
I kind of miss it.
Nicholas! You're becoming
nostalgic in your old age!
- Well, can we?
- Now?
- Come on, dad! Please?
- Oh...alright.
Just once, though,
for old times' sake.
[grunts]
[whistling]
Oh! What the devil is this?
Who put this old lumpy
sack of potatoes right here
'in the middle of the floor?'
Do you know
what I'm gonna have to do now?
I'm gonna have to pick up this
old lumpy sack of potatoes
out of here!
Doing this with my potatoes,
right here
and I'm gonna have
to take this old bag
this old heavy bag of potatoes
and I'm gonna...have to..
Boy, oh, boy.
I tell you, there's more
potatoes in this sack
than I remember!
I.. Oh! Oh.
- Oh, no.
- What's wrong, dad?
Nicholas...now I remember why we
don't play this game anymore.
I'm too old for it.
[instrumental music]
["Eight Is Enough"]
♪ Oh we spend our days ♪
♪ Like bright and
shiny new dimes ♪
♪ If we're ever puzzled ♪
♪ By the changing times ♪
♪ There's a plate
of homemade wishes ♪
♪ On the kitchen windowsill ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪
♪ More than enough ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Twelve minutes and counting.
Well, what do you wanna do now?
I don't know, but I've seen
every episode of that
mini series. I'm not gonna
miss the conclusion!
Oh, you are, if we can't get
Romeo and Juliet
out of the living room.
You know, Elizabeth has
no consideration sometimes.
- Who is that guy, anyway?
- Dennis somebody.
I don't know she met him
at a rally at school.
Rally? Must have been a sit-in.
Did you see him
staring at her face?
Oh, it's beautiful, Elizabeth.
It is? What is?
- Your forehead?
- My forehead?
It's perfectly balanced,
one of the best I've ever seen!
Thanks.
It indicates great talent,
and tremendous determination.
- Really?
- Absolutely!
Oh, with your forehead together
with your incredible jawbone..
- Well..
- Well, what? Tell me.
Elizabeth, you're gonna
have a very successful life!
Career, family, health,
happiness, everything!
You can tell all of that
from my face?
Yeah, it's kind of
a hobby of mine.
- It's called "Physiognomy."
- That's illegal.
Well, actually it dates back
hundreds of years.
You see,
the ancient Chinese believed
that a person's true personality
can be determined by analyzing
the facial features.
You don't really
believe that, do you?
Oh, you'd be surprised
how accurate it can be.
- Come on.
- I'll prove it.
Show me a picture
of someone you know.
The older the person,
the better.
The features are
better defined with age.
And you're gonna
tell me all about 'em.
- Uh-huh.
- Okay. This I gotta see.
We could smoke 'em out!
Well, that is effective,
but impractical.
I say we just explain
the situation
and politely
ask them to leave--
No, no, that's practical
but ineffective.
You remember the rule.
"Occupation equals possession
when in the company
of the opposite sex."
You know, that has got to be
the most irrational
ill-conceived rule that this
family has ever instituted.
Yeah. That's what I thought
when you dreamt it up.
Give me a break! Look,
I mean, I was younger then.
I didn't appreciate
the important things in life
like...consideration, sharing--
- Television.
- Oh, yeah, right.
Look, we've only got eight
minutes, we should be--
Hey! Have you guys
seen my skateboard?
- No, Nicholas, we haven't.
- 'Sorry.'
Well, it's gotta be
around here someplace.
I heard dad tripped
over it this morning.
Look, Nicholas,
we're not in any mood.
So why don't you look
in another room, okay?
Okay?
- 'Wait a minute, I think I--'
- Nicholas, it's my foot!
(Nicholas)
'Don't get a heart att*ck!
It's dark down here.'
- I'm not going in the room.
- Okay, then. See ya.
Hey. Do you realize
what we're doin'?
- Yeah, we're leaving.
- Yeah.
You know why we're leavin'?
[finger snapping]
Hmm.
[clears throat]
Hey, Nicholas.
How'd you like to earn a buck?
Alright!
(Elizabeth)
'Hmm. Wrong again.'
That's my Auntie V, and she's
anything but shy and retiring.
She's, uh, spontaneous and fun
and loves to do crazy things.
- You're sure?
- Dennis.
My Auntie V has been
known to do things
like drop by Sacramento
just for lunch.
Well, I don't think
that's so crazy.
Hmm. It is when she just
had breakfast in Belgium.
In a rented castle,
with her fourth husband.
Ah.
Maybe she had plastic surgery.
Why don't you just admit
that all of this stuff
is a lot of nonsense?
Uh, give me one more chance.
Oh, come on,
you've already been way off-base
with my aunt
and my grandmother!
Well, I'm just a little
out of practice, that's all.
- How about your grandfather?
- I never even knew him.
Good, he's perfect!
And we don't have any pictures!
Oh.
Then how about this guy?
He's got a face
like a road map.
This is ridiculous!
["Love To Love You Baby"]
Tommy! Tommy!
♪ Ah love to love you baby ♪
♪ Ah love to love you baby ♪
♪ Ah love to love you baby ♪
A curving eyebrow
in conjunction with
that high forehead.
Indicates a very
disturbed individual.
Possibly violent.
You're crazy!
My father is the kindest
gentlest human being
in the world
and he doesn't have
a violent bone in his body.
♪ Ah love to love you baby ♪
You know, I've told Tommy once,
I've told him a hundred times
this is a house,
not a concert hall!
I've had it! I've really had it!
Okay. Ready? Go!
(Tom)
'Tommy!'
- What was that?
- Oh, dad's gonna k*ll Tommy.
- It works!
- Nicholas, get outta here.
No, I have to find
my skateboard.
- 'Well, find it later.'
- No way.
If dad finds it lyin' around,
he's gonna k*ll me, too!
- My God!
- Dennis, he's exaggerating!
Nicholas, leave!
No, I don't think so,
Elizabeth.
His cheekbones indicate
total honesty.
I don't believe this. Nicholas!
Elizabeth. Can't you see
the kid's terrified?
I mean, the least we can do
is help him find the thing!
No, no, no.
I've got a better idea.
- Let's get outta here.
- Oh, a-are you sure?
- What about, uh--
- It's for the best--
(Tom)
Tommy! Tommy!
♪ Ah-h-h ♪
Dad, what's the idea?
The idea is to regain
full hearing in both ears.
- Sorry, Mr. Bradford.
- We'll turn it down.
You will turn it
to the "off" position!
I have a column
due in the morning.
It's difficult enough to write
this column in silence
much less with "Loving Baby"
screaming in the background!
But, dad, you don't understand.
Uh, we have to have this thing
down by Friday night.
How tough can a song
with five words be?
My gosh, you could teach
something like that
to a parrot with
a learning disability!
Hey, that's a good one,
Mr. Bradford.
[laughing]
Look, we can't stand disco,
either
but right now,
it's the hottest thing around
and people pay to hear it
played correctly!
People are also expecting
a column from Tom Bradford!
A column, that I might add
pays for the electricity
in this house.
Alright, we'll wrap it up
in a minute.
(Tom)
'You'll wrap it up now!'
- But, dad--
- Now.
[crickets chirping]
Oh, good.
We only missed the opening.
- Hey, great.
- Ha.
(man on TV)
'The final episode of D--'
Nicholas, come on, look out.
You're in the way.
- Where's my dollar?
- You'll get it later.
Now, come on, move!
You said if I got 'em out of the
room, then you'd gimme a dollar.
You didn't say anything
about credit.
Nicholas, you can trust me.
I'm your sister!
A lot of good
that did Elizabeth.
Nicholas!
- Cash.
- Alright, alright.
I'll get your dollar!
I'll get your dollar!
I don't know what's so great
about this dumb show anyways.
It's just another re-run.
Yeah, well, we didn't see it
the first time, Nicholas.
This is the conclusion,
you know.
And I gotta find out whether
Dr. Kilpatrick lives or dies!
Oh, he dies.
(Tom)
'Donna!'
Donna!
Yes, sir.
Do you have..
Oh, D-D-Donna.
Do you have any idea
how much money
not to mention,
time and planning
goes into the intercom system
for this office?
Why are you so
reluctant to use it?
Well, it's partly because I feel
that intercoms are impersonal.
Oh. I see.
And it's mostly because
mine is broken.
What can I do for you, sir?
The column. Did it get
to the printers yet?
Seconds to spare.
And don't worry about a thing
because I crossed out all three
"Love to Love You Babies"
in the last paragraph.
- Yes, well..
- Hmm.
You know,
something tells me that, um..
Tommy's band
is rehearsing again.
"Band?"
That's a generous way
to describe an organization
dedicated to the loss
of hearing!
Mm. Real bugged, huh?
Now don't get me wrong, I'm all
for extra-curricular activity.
It's just that Tommy is spending
too much time on this thing.
My gosh, he hasn't opened up
a book in weeks!
I bet you didn't listen
to your father, either.
Mm-hmm!
Okay, so, uh.. What's first
on the agenda today?
- To fix the intercom.
- Fix the intercom. Right.
- Mr. Bradford?
- Uh, yeah. Right this way.
- Thomas J. Bradford?
- Yes, that's me! I'm Bradford!
Special delivery.
[instrumental music]
Abby, I-I've been
calling you all day.
The line has been busy.
The strangest thing
happened to the office.
What, is the whole family here?
Tom, the strangest thing
happened today.
- Oh. Oh, look!
- Yes, exactly.
We've all got one. There was no
note, no message, no nothing.
We couldn't figure it out until
just a couple of minutes ago.
Oh, well, what does it mean?
Then it all
started making sense.
(Vivian)
'Tommy, "Belly Button!"'
- Auntie V arrived!
- Oh, no.
- There he is!
- Oh, my--
Oh, you look wonderful!
Oh, you look wonderful!
V, I cannot believe it!
I mean, I thought that you
were in Paris, with Horace.
I was, but it got very tedious.
- Oh!
- All that pinching.
Well, you should have
complained to Horace!
I did! But he wouldn't stop.
The man's a maniac,
I'm black and blue.
That's very unfortunate, but
now, come on, let's have it.
Why are you here?
And what the devil
are these things?
Yeah, what are these?
[indistinct shouting]
Tommy, why must you always be so
suspicious of your only sister?
'I mean, who's to say they're
not just...little gifts?'
- I'm waiting, Vivian.
- Oh, alright.
But I'm surprised at you.
Don't you recognize
King Kama Lulu? The ancient god?
Oh, yes, I remember the face,
but I couldn't place the name.
Well, he just happens to be
the "God of Safe Journeys."
Of course!
Well, that was so obvious.
Glad we cleared that up.
But why, are we going on one?
Why else would you need
King Kama Lulu?
That was a stupid question.
As a matter of fact,
we are all going to...Hawaii!
- All of us!
- Hawaii?
- Hawaii!
- Yeah!
[indistinct chatter]
- Hawaii!
- No.
- No!
- No.
It's actually very simple.
Since I was in Switzerland
when Janet
and David
and Susan and Merle got married
I decided to wait and give you
your wedding present in person.
And that's our wedding present,
a trip to Hawaii?
I couldn't find a
salad bowl I liked.
Besides, you never did
have a real honeymoon!
Can you think of
a better place to spend it?
- Why the whole family?
- Chaperones, of course.
I hardly think that--
Oh, this family
deserves a vacation!
I have the money, and it's
something I really want to do!
- Case closed.
- V, it's not as simple as that.
Of course it is!
Everything's arranged.
Hotel, airline reservations,
everything!
(Elizabeth)
'Dad, it's a great idea.'
And we haven't had
a vacation in years!
Yeah, think
of the possibilities!
- Think of the girls!
- The guys!
- The beach.
- The food.
Think of the knowledge
to be gained from travel.
Stick to the girls, Tommy,
it's a little more believable.
You see,
everyone is excited about it!
I see that everyone
is losing touch with reality.
Do you know what you're saying?
You're talking about
a whole family
just picking up and taking off
for Hawaii in three days!
[giggling]
(Vivian)
'So we'll leave earlier!'
Tommy! Whatever happened to that
carefree brother of mine
who challenged Morris Potts
to a motorcycle race?
He broke his leg.
And we haven't even discussed
this with the honeymoon couples!
'I don't even know
if they wanna go!'
Well..
Of course they wanna go,
who wouldn't?
V--
I don't wanna hear another
negative word about it!
This family is going to Hawaii,
and that's all there is to it!
U-uh, I-I wanna
talk to you. Alone.
Tommy.
V, uh, I know that
your intentions are good.
And believe me, I appreciate
your flair for the dramatic.
But you can't expect
a complete family to just
pack up on a moment's notice,
and take off for Hawaii!
Why not?
Well, because there are
responsibilities, commitments
arrangements to be made!
- Fools rush in.
- And get the best seats!
Tommy "Belly Button"
you are getting to be
an old stick in the mud!
Anything can be worked out
if you want it badly enough!
But I don't want it! You're
the one that says I want it!
- Only because I know you do.
- Oh! There you go again.
And even if you didn't,
which you do
you wouldn't deprive
a family that does
and don't say they don't
because you heard 'em
say they do! Didn't you?
- Well.. What? Huh?
- Start packing, Tom.
What the devil did she say?
- More dill weed, Mary.
- Check.
Hold on, form the rolls,
Elizabeth!
Alright, Auntie V.
You know, it is a constant
source of amazement to me
how you ever get
dinner on this table
when I'm not here!
Well, at least we won't
have to worry about cooking
when we're in Hawaii!
Yeah, at least you won't
have to worry about it.
- I have labs all next week.
- So you make them up!
No, you don't know
my instructor.
The only excuse he accepts
is death in the family.
- And that's conditional.
- Conditional?
- Yeah, it has to be your own.
- Oh!
(Joannie)
You think you got problems?
Auntie V, how am I gonna
get a week off in the newsroom
when the other researchers
are already on vacation?
Yeah, and what about my job
at the stock brokerage?
Girls, where there's a will,
there's a way!
Or in Mary's case,
at least a dead body.
We'll work things out.
You know, I hate to pop
everyone's balloon
but even if we
solve our own problems
we're forgetting about
the biggest problem of all!
(all)
'Dad.'
(Elizabeth)
'There's no way he's gonna
okay this trip. No way!'
We're going.
Mm..
Hey, you're livin' dangerously,
sport.
You're tellin' me!
I can wipe out!
Yeah, well, if dad catches you
skateboarding in the house
he's gonna wipe you out!
Skateboardin'? I'm surfin'.
Oh!
Tommy, I'm glad I ran into you.
I have something on my mind
I wanna talk to you about.
Oh, dad, I can't.
I gotta get to band practice.
No, no, this won't take long!
But tonight's crucial!
We gotta get in as much
practice as possible
before we leave for Hawaii!
- But, uh--
- We'll keep it down, I promise.
That's not the point.
Oh, I know you're concerned,
dad, but you shouldn't be.
- I shouldn't?
- No!
I'm not gonna spend the rest
of my life playing disco!
Oh, well, I'm glad to hear that.
I must admit,
I was a little worried.
I mean, you're getting
so wrapped up in all that.
Eh, disco's just a phase.
You wait and see, music's gonna
turn to a more progressive rock!
Oh. Yeah, well, we have
something to look forward to.
Yeah, and we're gonna be
ready for it when it does!
That's why tonight's
so important.
We're playin' my songs!
Oh, wait, what-what
about school? Tommy!
Oh. These kids don't
deserve to go to Hawaii.
They don't stand still
long enough to even..
[gasps]
Nicholas!
V, I had no idea. Are you sure?
I'm positive.
- Does anyone else know?
- No!
You are the only one that knows.
This is so sudden.
Well, I only found out myself
a couple of weeks ago.
You can understand my position
now, how important this trip is!
Absolutely. Tom must go
to Hawaii, no matter what!
The whole family, too! I want
the whole family to be there!
I understand.
And I can count on your help?
I'll do everything I can
to help you. My lips are sealed.
- I promise.
- Oh, thanks, Abby.
- Why don't you come to bed?
- I can't sleep.
- You haven't tried.
- Wouldn't do any good.
I'd probably have a nightmare
that King Kama Lulu's
chasing me all around
the house or something.
Sounds very Freudian.
Abby, I just can't buy
this whole Hawaiian idea!
I mean, it's one thing
for Vivian to go
flitting around the world,
that's her business!
But this family
has responsibilities!
We didn't raise a group
of delinquents.
I mean, they're
responsible individuals
and they're perfectly capable of
working out their own schedules.
- What about Tommy?
- What about him?
Oh, you've seen him. He's out
with his band every night.
- Every night!
- So?
So, he must be behind
in his school work.
He never does any studying!
Oh, w-w-what you mean to say is
that you never see him
doing any studying.
Whose side are you on, anyway?
'It's not a matter
of sides, Tom!'
I'm just saying that you
don't know for sure
that Tommy's school work
is suffering!
Maybe you're right.
I don't know.
It's just that he's at
such an impressionable age
and priorities
are so easily misplaced!
Why don't you talk to him?
Oh, if he'd listen.
He doesn't have time.
He doesn't even have his
college applications yet.
There's still time for that.
Tom, I've been thinking.
Maybe this Hawaii trip isn't
such a bad idea, after all.
Oh, no. Not you, too, now.
Well, then,
i-it'll give you and Tommy
a chance t-to be together,
a-and talk things out?
- If he'd listen.
- He'll listen.
And-and a week off from school
isn't that much, really.
I don't know.
Tom, there's one more
thing to consider.
It might be the last time
for a long time
that this whole family gets
to take a trip together.
Hmm. I've thought about that.
I mean, what with
two kids married
and already out
of the house, well..
Yeah. They grow up fast,
don't they?
They sure do.
[indistinct chatter]
Good morning, little family!
Good morning, dad.
Well, well, well.
Let's see what new crisis
has befallen the world today!
(Tom)
'Mm! Ah, what have we here?'
Oh, no. Did you see this?
Fifty-seven degrees
and overcast in Houston!
Oh, my gosh. Oh, no!
Forty percent chance of
scattered showers on Wednesday!
Well, all I can say is,
it's a good thing
that we're going to be
in Hawaii, and not there!
Where did you say
we're going to be?
Hawaii. It's a chain of islands,
in the Pacific.
They've made all
the geography books.
- You mean we really are going?
- Yeah, I guess so.
I thought it over, and I guess
it's not a bad idea.
I think.
[all shouting]
Wait a minute. Now wait..
You all have obligations to do.
If you don't do your
obligations, you're not going!
U-uh, and what's with you?
Why aren't you running off
with the rest of them?
I wanna hear more about Houston.
(David)
'I knew it was
going to be tough'
'to get you to take no
for an answer'
but, uh, I didn't expect you
over this fast..
...with reinforcements yet.
David, it's just that it's
such a wonderful opportunity.
We would hate for you
to miss out!
Abby, believe me, it's just
like I told V on the phone.
It's not that we
don't want to go
it's just that right now,
we can't!
Janet has a brief due next week,
and I've got a ton of work.
Auntie V, we thought
about this a lot. Really.
'But our minds are made up.'
The one thing we can't afford
to do is jeopardize our careers.
You do understand, don't you?
No. Sit down, kids. Sit down.
I wasn't gonna tell
this to anybody else.
But under the circumstances,
I have no alternative.
What are you talking about?
But..
...what I'm about to say...
I want you to promise
that it will remain strictly
between the four of us, alright?
- Sure.
- Of course.
David, you never knew very much
about your father's and-and
my childhood, did you?
Not really, uh..
dad never seemed to want
to talk about it much.
I know that he was close
to Grandmother Bradford.
We both were.
She was quite a lady.
Yeah. I don't remember her
very well now.
Except, that when she came
to visit, she brought rum cake
That's great!
Well, your grandmother
was all Tom and I had.
'We never knew
our father very well.'
He left the family when
we were pretty young.
We never knew
any of the details.
All we knew for sure was that..
...one day,
he just wasn't there.
- He never came back?
- No.
I.. I had this notion
that I'd find him someday.
That he was still alive, and
that we'd all be together again.
It was crazy, but..
What exactly are you trying
to tell us, Auntie V?
David, I'm trying to tell you
that I found your grandfather,
in Hawaii!
Yes!
[instrumental music]
- Hi!
- Hi, gals.
- What is all this about?
- He said it was urgent.
Come on in. Sit down.
Listen, we have come up
with the greatest idea
but we want to tell you before
we break it to the family.
Oh, it sounds exciting.
Let's have it!
Well, uh..
...honeymoons are traditionally
spent alone, right?
I-I mean, just the bride
and groom, right?
Uh, that is the custom, yes.
Uh, well, this is probably gonna
knock the wind
right out of the whole
darn Bradford family
but we happen to be
in favor of that custom!
Since the whole family's
gonna be in Hawaii
what a better way to be alone
than for us not to go to Hawaii?
- You mean stay home?
- Well, what do you think?
I think it's probably
the lamest idea I ever heard.
What? W-w-why?
You want to stay here,
in Sacramento
for your honeymoon?
Well, yeah, that was the idea.
(David)
'And pass up a trip
to one of the most'
romantic spots
in the world?
A free trip?
I can't believe this.
Oh, well, David,
it is their choice, but, uh..
...for myself, I can't wait!
'I mean, the sand and the surf.'
'The palm trees swaying
and warm, tropical breezes'
moonlit strolls on the beach..
...just the two of us.
Oh, w-what about the family?
Oh, well, Hawaii's
a big place, Susan.
How tough can it be
to lose yourself?
I mean, really!
David and I plan on spending
every minute alone.
[instrumental music]
I guess Sacramento is kinda
borin' for our honeymoon, huh?
Yeah. I wouldn't mind one of
those moonlight beach strolls.
It's a big place, honey.
Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
- Umm.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
[sighs]
- 'Hi, dad.'
- Oh, hi.
Hey, guess what,
I have good news.
Auntie V showed me
how to get out of the labs
and I don't even
have to die!
Well, congratulations.
Dead is no way
to spend a vacation.
- I agree.
- Mm-hmm.
Hey, dad, have you seen
my curling iron?
- No, I haven't.
- Oh.
Wait a minute, I don't know
what it looks like.
[laughs]
Never mind.
Hey, you know what?
Aunty V talked to Mr. Trout.
And I've got
the whole week off.
I don't know
how she did it!
Do yourself a favor.
- Don't ask.
- Right.
Nicholas, now you're
not gonna bring
all that stuff
to Hawaii, are you?
Oh, no, it's for
the replacement on my team.
Some guy Aunty V helped me find,
I hope he can cut it.
Don't worry
about a thing.
- I'm sure it's Willie Mays.
- Hi, dad.
Oh, hi, now
wha-what about school?
- Have you made arrangements?
- What arrangements?
To make up for whatever
you miss.
Oh, that's no sweat, I can worry
about that when I get back.
It was the band that
was the big hassle.
You wouldn't believe what I had
to go through with those guys.
I think that we better
have a talk.
Oh, but, dad,
I don't have time.
I haven't
even started packing.
You can pack later,
first we're going to talk.
Why do I get the feeling
that your idea of a sense
of responsibility is not
quite the same as mine?
Maybe because it isn't.
Well in this case,
it should be.
Oh, you're just sore because
of what I said about school.
Now, I said I was gonna
make it up, and I will.
So what's
the big deal?
I'll tell you what
the big deal is.
It's just your whole casual
attitude about it.
I mean, education should be
your first priority.
This is the foundation on
which you build your future.
My future is in music.
Biology is not gonna make me
a better guitar player
and nor is it gonna
get me gigs being Goodwill.
- You missed the point.
- Dad, this is .
You can't hang back
until you're .
The competition's too tough.
Now, a lot of the musicians
and the big groups
never even
finished high school.
At least I'm still there.
At the rate you're going,
you won't be for long.
You're not even
willing to listen.
I'll listen when you tell me
something worth listening to.
Oh, that's great, and
what kind of logic is that?
The same kind of logic that
you're using about your future.
- Very shaky.
- Yeah, well, it's my logic.
- And I have a right to it.
- So you do.
But you keep talking this way,
and you're going to have to use
that logic to figure out
why you're sitting back here
while the rest of us
are in Hawaii.
Now, when I get back
from this vacation, you and I
are gonna sit down very calmly
and talk about your future.
Yeah, my future
the way you see it.
You know, V, Tom made it very
clear from the beginning that
his father was not a subject
open for discussion.
I'm not surprised.
In fact, I can't even remember
more than a casual reference
about him from anyone
in this house, ever.
It's an unwritten law.
- Strictly taboo.
- Why?
Was there that much
bad blood between them?
Oh, that's the irony.
They were inseparable.
Dad adored Tom and Tommy,
well, he thought dad
was Superman, Roosevelt and Joe
DiMaggio all rolled into one.
Well, then, was the problem
between your mom and dad?
Oh, Abby, dad was a wonderful
dreamer with grand delusions
about how things
would be someday.
Only, someday was
always tomorrow, right?
[chuckling]
Yes.
You know, mom believed him
for a long time, but..
...when it was
the depression and all and..
I guess she just
finally gave up on him.
When she did that,
he kinda gave up on himself.
- And that's when he left?
- Not right away.
You know,
the w*r came along.
In a couple
of months, he enlisted.
He wrote a few times
and then...nothing.
Tom never
forgave him, did he?
Oh.
Abby..
I sometimes wished
they hadn't been so close.
It would've made it easier
for Tom to give him up.
And you, V,
what about you?
[giggling]
I don't know.
No, Abby, I guess
I just understand him
a little better, that's all.
We're a lot alike
in many ways.
Maybe too many ways.
[instrumental music]
[chuckles]
- Oh, can I give you a hand?
- Hi, dad.
- Oh, thank you.
- It's my old duffel bag.
I haven't seen
it in years.
Yeah, I thought it'll be
great for my shoes huh?
Oh, it'll be perfect
with your clothes too.
Oh, no, my clothes
are gonna go in here.
- Three bags?
- Oh, yeah.
Everybody is taking
at least three.
You never know
what you'll need--
Everybody, three bags!
The plane will never
get off the ground.
That's..
Dad, don't you think you're
exaggerating just a little?
Really, we--
[whistling]
What are you doing?
Now, hear this.
Now, hear this.
One bag per person,
no exceptions.
- I will repeat that.
- Dad, we can't!
One bag person, no exceptions
and no discussions.
That is all.
- Oh, no.
- Dad!
- Dad.
- One bag?
I got too many things.
Nicholas, do you realize
how lucky we are?
We're two of the few kids in
America that get to experience
living under
a true dictatorship.
Really?
Wow!
[instrumental music]
Alright, come on.
Hurry up, everybody.
The plane leaves
in one hour.
- Okay.
- Let's go.
Go, heads up.
Come on.
Here we come.
Here we come.
- Dad, you forgot something.
- What?
- Your suitcase.
- My suitcase?
- Yeah.
- My suitcase!
Hey, Aunty V, is it true
that King Kama Lulu
is the god of safe journeys?
Well, he's not
exactly a god.
Oh, well then,
what exactly is he?
He's a travel agent in Pittsburg
but he could be a god
if he applied himself.
[laughs]
Well, this is it.
Like it or not,
Hawaii here we come.
Yeah, grandpa,
here we come.
I hope the scheme of V's
doesn't blow up in her face.
Yeah, or dad's.
(Nicholas)
'Come on,
you guys, hurry up!'
'We're gonna
miss the plane!
[engine turns over]
[instrumental music]
(woman on PA)
'Flight , non-stop
to Tokyo now boarding.'
'First call.'
'Flight .'
Well..
Has anybody seen mine?
David, quick, that
black case right there.
What is this?
Guess that's what
it is then.
But you heard what I said,
one bag per person.
Oh, this isn't a bag.
This is a guitar.
We established that, remember?
Don't get sarcastic with me,
now you know what I mean.
Yeah, but that's not what
you're bugged about, is it?
If this thing were full of
school books instead of
band instrument, you wouldn't
care at all, would you?
(woman on PA)
'Flight , jet service to
San Francisco and Los Angeles'
'now departing from Gate .'
- Did you give it to Aunty V?
- I do like that.
- That one, yes.
- Do you like that one?
I'm gonna give
this to Aunty V.
Aunty V, I picked this
one out just for you.
- Oh, that's, that's marvelous.
- Is it pretty?
Thank you.
Dad, it's Vivian, we're here.
Well, he still
doesn't know yet.
It's better that way, trust me.
Oh, dad, listen
to me for a minute.
Everything is going
to work out, I know it.
Now, here's what
I want you to do.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
What do you mean, that's all?
That's what
the man said, dad.
All the luggage
from our flight is here.
But it's not all here,
there's still one missing.
Mine!
Well, did you look it over
carefully, are you sure?
Look, David, I should know
my bag when I see it.
And I don't see it!
Gee, tough break, Mr. Bradford.
And it was your
only one, too!
[indistinct chatter]
Wait a minute, Abby,
I cannot find the bag.
I don't know what
I'm going to do.
See if they have found the bag..
Oh, this is awful.
[instrumental music]
(Tom)
Okay, you guys go help with
the luggage, I'll check in.
- Wow!
- Oh, wow!
Aloha. You must be
the Bradford family.
That's right.
How did you know?
Are you kidding?
Two limos, people?
A lot of luggage.
'You do have a lot
of luggage, don't you?'
Ah, yes.
The family does.
Personally, I like
to travel light.
- Oh, look at the ceilings!
- I know.
- Alright.
- I can't believe it!
(Nicholas)
Look at this place!
[indistinct chatter]
Come on, Mary, let's go
look for some tours, huh.
Tours!
Joannie wants to go on a tour.
I do, I love tours.
- Not me, I'm hitting the beach.
- Yeah, me too.
Oh, what are we waiting for?
Come on, let's go.
Ah, don't forget
the Hula show tonight.
'We won't.'
- Abby, I spoke to dad.
- Already?
Yes. I called him
from the airport.
He's going to meet me on the
beach, in front of the hotel.
Now, do you think
you can arrange to have Tom
there around o'clock?
Alright, V.
I just hope you know
what you're doing.
Oh, Abby, I have a feeling that
when those two realize that--
(Tom)
'Hey!'
Where is everybody going?
Well, dear brother
incase you haven't noticed,
we are in Hawaii.
Really?
And everyone is doing
what everyone does, in Hawaii.
Their own thing.
[giggling]
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
- Ah..
- I'd love to hear you play.
Yeah, that'll be great!
Ah, well.
I don't know.
Ah, come on.
Well, okay, let me give the
Frisbee back to this little kid.
And I'll get
my guitar, okay.
Don't run away.
Okay, slugger, here's where
the river meets the road.
- What?
- You're taking a hike.
Oh, I get it.
It's those dumb girls.
Yeah, you see the one
in the red bikini there?
I think she and I have
a major future together.
Yeah, well,
you promised
to help me build
a sand castle, remember?
Oh, well, yeah, I know, but
well, I've been givin' it a lot
of thought, and I don't think
it's such a good idea.
Why?
Red's my favorite color.
[guitar music]
[music continues]
(Tom)
'No, no, no.
It's not a duffel bag.'
It's a normal,
ordinary, everyday suitcase!
My gosh! I told you
all about it at the airport.
No, it's not brown
with blue stripes.
It's blue
with brown stripes.
It's, eh, no,
it's not Radford.
It's Bradford.
Oh my gosh!
What kind of an airline
is this anyway?
Yes,
I'll hold on.
I-I don't believe this.
I don't believe this!
Well, it's just not that
important to get
all that upset about.
I mean, why don't we just relax,
we'll just take a little walk.
No, no, I'll relax after they
straighten this out.
They promised they would.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
This is Radford.
Ah, Bradford!
Yes, it's me.
What?
What?
You did?
Oh!
Thank goodness.
Abby, they found it!
They found my little bag.
I told you, dear.
In Puerto Rico?
You know,
I cannot believe this.
The Hawaiian Islands!
And here we are, in our hotel
room like a couple of hermits!
Yeah, I know
what you mean.
An hour on the beach
did more harm than good.
I want more.
Work, hermit, work.
Oh.
Hey, you too.
Oh, sorry.
I was thinking about grandpa.
I wonder when the big reunion
is going to be?
And where?
Most of all, I wonder
how dad's gonna take it.
I was almost afraid
you weren't gonna come at all.
I nearly didn't.
I shouldn't have
let you talk me into this.
It's not right.
Why the whole family?
Because they have a right
to see their grandfather.
Vivian, you don't understand.
Their grandfather doesn't
have a right to see them.
That's nonsense. Family is
family, no matter what.
No, Vivian,
it's the truth.
I gave up that right
a long time ago.
Now, when you found
me and you're so
enthusiastic and forgiving
I got caught up,
and you're being caught up.
Then I've been thinking
a lot about it and it's..
...it's not gonna work,
I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry.
- Dad!
- 'Aunty V!'
Aunty V, you've gotta help.
(Vivian)
'What's the matter, Nicholas,
is something wrong?'
I'll say. Every time
I build a sand castle..
Well, it just falls down.
'And Tommy was supposed
to help, but now'
the stupid red bikini
butted in it--
Slow down, Nicholas, I want
you to meet a friend of mine.
This is Matt.
Matt, this is Nicholas.
Nicholas Bradford.
Hi, Matt.
Well, will you?
Well, to tell you the truth,
Nicholas, sand castles
really aren't my specialty.
That means no, huh?
But I have it on very good
authority that Matt here
is the champion
sandman of Honolulu.
Really?
I hardly qualify for the
championship category, but, uh..
Well, that's okay.
As long as you're experienced
and you have a good attitude.
Looks like
you've been hired!
Well, it's been sometime since
I've been in this line of work
but, uh, the trick
is the foundation.
You gotta start with
a lot of wet sand.
Gee!
Thanks.
Oh, Auntie V,
can you tell Tommy
to take a hike
on the rubber road?
But I want Tommy
to meet Matt too.
Alright, well, just keep
him out of our hair, alright?
Okay. Okay.
But, Tommy, it seems like
that there would be a lot
of nice shirts in the men store
at the hotel.
But that would be such
a waste of money.
Besides the airline said
that they would have it
on the next flight out.
Oh, whatever you say,
it just seems like
a silly thing
to ruin your vacation--
Just the same,
I wished I had just told
that man and given him
a piece of my mind.
If only he hadn't
hung up on me, first.
Um, maybe you could just,
uh, go over there
and give V a piece
of your mind instead?
I'm just gonna go back
to the room at the hotel.
- Why?
- Uh, I'm just tired.
Go check out, this..
She's right over there, see?
I'll talk to you later.
Well, looks like Nicholas
is having a good time!
- Yes.
- Seems he's found a friend.
Oh, he's found
more than a friend.
He doesn't know it yet, but he's
found his...his grandfather.
What?
He lives here.
Who lives here?
Our father.
I found him.
- How?
- Never mind how.
I just did.
Oh, no.
That's why
we're all here.
Oh, V, how could you?
'Tommy, Tommy,
listen to me.'
He's an old man.
The time has come.
He is our father.
No, no, V, he's just a name
on your birth certificate.
And for him to come here
and try to--
It was my idea,
he didn't want to come.
He didn't want
to stay home either.
Have you forgotten what it was
like? What mother went through?
How hard it was?
Of course I haven't.
Leave this alone, V.
We needed him once,
we needed him badly.
But I don't
need him now.
And I never will again.
To..
I wouldn't write
Peter Frampton off that easily.
It might just
surprise everyone again.
Well, maybe, but it's
gonna be pretty hard
to top that
live album of his.
I'm really glad that
Aunty V introduced us.
Thank you, Tommy.
The sentiment is mutual.
You've known her
a long time?
I knew her...
a long time ago.
I thought she was putting me
on at first.
You know, about you and me
having so much in common.
Frampton, oh, that's..
Hard to believe that
a senior citizen
could understand
someone your age, right?
Yeah, I guess.
I mean, my dad
doesn't understand me
and he's a lot younger
than you are.
Well, maybe you
just think he doesn't.
Yeah, well..
So why do
you live here?
Oh, for one thing
there are a lot of red bikinis.
Yeah, Nicholas has
a big mouth sometimes.
Look at that, Tommy.
'It's as beautiful now as it was
when I first set eyes on it.'
'Over years ago.'
'Course things look different
when you're
and in the Merchant Marine.
I had more important things
on my mind than scenery.
Too bad there
weren't bikinis then.
Maybe I wouldn't
have gone back home.
Got married.
Man, you were when you were
in the Merchant Marines!
- I mean, that's how old I am.
- Don't be so impressed.
You can't measure a dream
in terms of birthdays, Tommy.
Only in your determination
to make it come true.
Yeah, I have a dream.
Kinda figured you might.
I want to tour with a band.
You know, maybe,
even play at Hawaii.
Now, I tell you what.
When you play Hawaii,
I'll book you into my club.
You've a night club?
- You never mentioned that!
- Yeah.
Up at Fisherman's Wharf.
One of those dreams..
...I named it after myself.
"The Vagabond."
To think that Vivian
would get the whole family
here under false pretenses.
Abby, I tell you,
it's beyond me.
Tom, I'm sorry.
And to think that
you knew about it all along!
And went along with it.
Abby, why?
Well, Tom, V was very
convincing and she, uh..
It seemed very important
to her and..
Well, the way she
talked about it, well..
She said that
when the two of you
saw each other
that you'd just..
I'm sorry, Tom, it was
hard to know what to do.
[intense music]
You should've
seen him out there.
Playing with
Nicholas like...like..
A father?
A father?
He wouldn't know how!
'A father doesn't
take off on his family'
when the going gets rough.
A father doesn't let
his ten-year-old son
cry himself to sleep
every night.
'He doesn't let his wife
suffer the humiliation'
of being
pitied by neighbors.
No, no, Abby.
He doesn't know the first thing
about being a father.
The only thing he knows
about is running away.
[theme music]
04x08 - Fathers and Other Strangers pt. 1
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The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.
The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.