Tommy, I've been thinkin'.
When Merle and Susan
have their baby
I'm gonna be the kid's uncle.
That's right, sport.
And you'll be his uncle too.
Right again.
Well, I've never
been an uncle before.
What are you supposed to do?
Well, from what I've observed
uncles give unwanted advice
at the drop of a hat
and, uh, occasionally,
pop for ice cream cones.
You mean the uncles
buy the ice cream?
'That's right.'
Uh, somethin' tells me
I'm too young to be an uncle.
I don't have a job or anything.
Don't worry, sport, by the time
Susan's baby needs
three fully-employed uncles,
you'll be ready.
Well, what happens
in the mean time
he hates me?
Nicholas, you might not be
uncle to a "he."
What do you mean?
Well, supposing
Susan has a girl.
A girl?
'There's always
that possibility.'
Nah, Merle wouldn't
do that to me.
[instrumental music]
[theme song]
♪ There's a magic ♪
♪ In the early morning
we've found ♪
♪ When the sunrise smiles ♪
♪ On everything around ♪
♪ It's a portrait
of the happiness ♪
♪ That we feel and always will ♪
♪ For eight is enough ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪
♪ Oh we spend our days ♪
♪ Like bright and shiny
new dimes ♪
♪ If we're ever puzzled ♪
♪ By the changing times ♪
♪ There's a plate
of homemade wishes ♪
♪ On the kitchen window sill ♪
♪ And eight is enough ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪♪
(Nicholas)
'I got a perfect name
for you, Merle.'
You can call the baby Ron.
'Ron.'
Ron Stockwell.
I kinda like it.
No you don't, Merle.
Ron is his hamster.
So, what's wrong with that?
Nicholas, I'm not gonna name
my baby after your hamster.
That's okay, I'm sure
he doesn't mind.
I don't even think he knows
it's his name anyway.
No way, Nicholas, forget it.
Well, I'm just trying to help.
And we appreciate it, slugger.
Slugger, that's a perfect name.
'Slugger Stockwell.'
You're right, that is perfect.
Come on, Merle. Be serious.
We have to find a name
for the baby.
Relax, we have
months to do that.
Yeah, but it has to be
the right name.
You know, the name you give
your child could determine
'his or her whole future.'
Is that true?
Uh, sure.
What would have
happened to baseball
if Babe Ruth
had been named May West?
I don't know. What?
(Susan)
'Okay, don't be serious.'
I can tell this is no time
to determine
the future of our child.
However, it is time to put
Nicholas to bed.
Can't you just tell dad that
you did and actually don't?
(Susan)
'No, Nicholas. I can't.'
Dad and Abby
will be home any minute.
By the way dad's been growling
at everybody around here
I'm not gonna fail
at babysitting
or do anything that's
gonna upset him.
Let's go.
- Hi, need some help?
- Oh, yeah, listen.
This jacket must be
marked incorrectly.
It couldn't possibly be
a regular.
Oh, it's a regular, alright.
Would you care to try a ?
No, no, I've been wearing
a regular all my life.
'That thing
must be cut too small.'
Well, sir, we must remember
that our body's do change
as we get older.
Oh, our body's do, do they?
But there are ways
we can hide it.
And that's why we're here, huh?
I'm not sure that's the coat
I wanna give you
for your birthday.
Try this one.
Oh, nice choice.
Understated, but not stodgy.
Hmm.
Well..
- Does feel better.
- We'll take it.
My pleasure.
I'll get the tailor.
Your daughter
has excellent taste, sir.
And you must be
a wonderful father
gettin' a coat
like this on your birthday.
My dad just had his sixtieth.
I'll be fifty.
Only fifty.
And you can forget
this stupid jacket.
'It's ridiculous.'
I'm sorry. What did I say?
Well, you'll understand
when you're fifty.
Wo-would you put that on hold
for me? I'll be back.
You see the price
earning's ratio
doesn't always correlate
with the upturn potential.
That's what you
gotta remember.
I remember, Floyd.
It's only been a half hour since
you said it the first time.
Oh, well, I..
...I just want you to have
a financially secure old age.
I'll try.
Well, this is fascinating.
I've had a wonderful evening.
Oh, that's nice.
Did you have
a wonderful evening?
- Wonderful.
- I'm glad.
[crickets chirping]
Would you like to have
another wonderful evening
tomorrow night?
I can't, Floyd.
Not tomorrow.
Previous engagement?
- Previous engagement.
- Yeah.
Well, it's my fault. I..
I should have
asked you earlier.
At least I'll get to
see you at work tomorrow.
Right, there's always work.
Nancy.
You're beautiful.
And in my mind
you're a triple A preferred.
Wait.
What?
They're watching.
They're watching?
Who's watching?
My little brothers.
Where?
Uh, you can't see them, Floyd.
But, uh, they can see us.
- That's weird.
- Oh, I know.
Their weird. Very, very weird.
Goodnight, Floyd.
Bye.
- Hi.
- 'Hi, Mary.'
- How was Floyd?
- Oh, boy!
I used the old "little brothers
are watching" routine.
Hmm, that bad, huh?
Boring, really boring.
- Maybe this'll cheer you up.
- Oh, yeah.
That'll make me a size .
I'm sorry, Abby, but I couldn't
stay in there any longer
listening to all that
juvenile prattle.
Seeing that stranger
in the mirror.
What stranger?
That old man with my face.
You're not old.
I'll be fifty in a few days.
That's two score and ten.
"The Bible" only gives us
three score and ten.
None of us knows
how long we get, Tom.
It's what we've got right now
that's important.
What I have now
is more past than future.
Abby, it's scary.
There's no time left
to do what I wanted to do.
I mean, I thought I would
accomplish so much more by now.
You've accomplished a lot.
Name me one thing
besides old age.
You will survive being fifty.
Survive, for what?
Fifty one, fifty two,
fifty three.
[instrumental music]
(Elliot)
'You know what sells
newspapers, Tom?'
Young ideas.
You mean we aren't
selling newspapers?
Oh, yes. But the Tribune
is gaining on us.
Well, Sacramento is changing.
All these
corporation headquarters
moving their bright young
executives here.
Do you know that our
market research boys say
that there is a percent
jump in the under s?
Oh, well, you know
those under s.
- They're always jumpin'.
- Hmm.
Have you read their new
columnist, Hank Sullivan?
I've skimmed him now and then.
Well, skim him again.
Very closely.
Research tells us that
his column in the Tribune
is read by four times
the number of under s
than your column
in the Register.
Really?
Well, don't you think that
maybe research could be biased.
You yourself said
that they were just boys.
Yes, but they're good boys, Tom.
Very scientific.
Two of them have Ph.Ds.
The truth is, they're
a little intimidating.
Well, things have changed since
you and I were cubs, Tom.
You've noticed.
[scoffing]
'Well, it's a different
world and you..'
'...you just can't run
in the same old ruts.'
Tom..
...may I be frank with you?
How frank?
I think that you're column
needs some pizzazz.
Pizzazz?
'I want you to go after that
youth market out there.'
As the under s say
"Get with it."
Get with it.
Exactly. Tune in, Tom.
Jazz up your subject matter
and your syntax.
Forget those old fogies
you were aiming at
and let's go for it.
You dig?
Oh. Yeah, I think so.
First I get with it
and then I go for it?
Right on.
No, Tom. This way.
[instrumental music]
[doorbell ringing]
- Yes?
- Hi, is Nancy home?
No, I think she's still at work.
No, she left early.
I was wondering
if anything was wrong.
I didn't even get a chance
to give her a ride home.
You must be Floyd.
- Right, Floyd Wakley.
- Hi, I'm Elizabeth.
Uh, would you like to
come in and wait for Nancy?
She probably just had
some shopping to do.
- Would that be alright?
- Sure.
Thank you.
Hey, Elizabeth,
what do you think
about this name for the baby?
Ralph Waldo Stockwell.
Ralph Waldo?
Yeah, it was
Joannie's suggestion.
I think she was kiddin'.
Uh, Floyd, this is my
little brother, Nicholas.
- Nicholas, Floyd.
- Hiya.
Nicholas Floyd Stockwell.
[whispering]
Nicholas Floyd.
I hate it.
[giggles]
Uh, he's a little different.
Oh, yeah, I know.
Nancy told me.
Kid's a peeper.
Well, sure, Tom.
We can call the game off
if you don't feel up to it.
Stick out your tongue.
Oh, no, no, no,
forget it, Greg, I..
I don't need a doctor.
- Sure?
- Yeah.
What I have is incurable.
Unless..
Unless, what?
What's the story
on those monkey glands?
What monkey glands?
You know, over in Europe.
Do they really
bring back your youth?
[phone ringing]
I haven't heard that question
asked in three years.
Not since I asked it.
You asked it?
When I turned .
Unfortunately, the answer
was very discouraging.
Oh. But maybe there has been
some scientific advances
since then.
I'm afraid not, Tom.
You're just gonna
have to learn to live
with the body you've got.
It's not my body.
My body is years old.
Up here anyway.
I got news for you, kid.
Your -year-old body
just chickened out
of playing a game of racquetball
with this -year-old geezer.
You know the unfairest
point of it all?
It's they way
it sneaks up on ya.
I mean, one day, there you are
trying to master
the boy scout manual and how to
kiss a girl without giggling
and the next day, you're
waiting to be a grandfather.
Nah. That's not
the worst part.
The worst part is
waking up and finding out
that most of your life is over.
You've passed the summit
and you're heading downhill.
But that feeling
will pass, Tom.
This big - syndrome,
it's all psychological.
I mean, if you did not know
that next Tuesday
was you're fiftieth birthday
you wouldn't be torturing
yourself this way.
But I do know
and then it does.
Alright, I'm gonna have to
give you a prescription.
Well, didn't you say
there was no elixir of youth?
I'm talking about
a psychological prescription.
Now, when the big day comes
forget it's your birthday.
Go away, just you and Abby.
And above all
do not have a party.
No party?
I thought my birthday party
was gonna k*ll me.
I mean it's bad enough
that I knew I was fifty.
But did my friends
and neighbors have to find out?
Oh, yeah.
I see your point, Greg.
And you know what?
I think you're right.
I feel better already.
Good.
[instrumental music]
Are you sure about this, Tom?
Yes, I'm positive.
There will be no birthday party
given to me by any
member of this family.
'Now, Abby and I are going away
by ourselves on Tuesday.'
'To Lake Tahoe.'
'When we return,
there will be no mention'
'that a birthday even existed.'
'And I don't wanna listen
to any protests'
'or any sentimental
appeals to tradition.'
There will be no parties.
No arguments.
Sure, dad.
We weren't gonna
have one anyway.
- You weren't?
- No.
We all remember what happened
to Dr. Max when he had his--
Shh.
His unmentionable birthday.
- He went bananas.
- Yeah.
We wouldn't put you
through that, dad.
(Elizabeth)
'Yeah, or ourselves.'
Right, you don't need
something else to growl at.
(Tommy)
'And we figured we don't
need a party around here.'
What we need is some
peace and quiet.
(Mary)
'Yes.'
(Tommy)
'Is there anything else?'
No.
Meeting adjourned.
Yay!
[instrumental music]
I would have thought
they would have at least
planned a party or something.
Well, you can still
change your mind.
I don't want a party.
What do you want?
I don't know.
[instrumental music]
(Elliot)
'Am I disturbing you, Tom?'
Oh, hi, Elliot.
No, no. I was just musing.
You know, getting organized
to get with it.
Really? I had the definite
feeling yesterday
that I wasn't quite
getting through to you.
Oh, no, no.
I understood perfectly.
I-I know just what
you were driving at.
In fact, I just
got this inspiration
before you came in here
to have Tommy take me
to the next rock concert
that comes into town.
And I'll-I'll do a review on it.
Now, how is that
for thinking young, huh?
You know, Tom, I think perhaps
I was a bit hasty in
speaking to you yesterday.
Hasty, really?
Yes, I think that, uh
my suggestion for a solution
was not the right one
for the problem.
Oh, you mean I won't have to
go to the rock concert?
No, I think we'll just leave
that to Hank Sullivan.
You're going to concede
to the competition?
That's what I came here
to tell you about, Tom.
We've scooped the competition.
I've hired Hank Sullivan
away from the Tribune.
Hank Sullivan is working
here at the Register?
That's right, Tom. He's gonna
write his column for us.
Well, what do I write?
What you've always written, To..
Oh, we couldn't get along
without you, Tom.
Thanks.
Now, there's one little favor
I'd like to ask you.
Yeah, I know.
Break the youngster in.
- Kinda take him under my wing?
- Uh, not exactly, Tom.
You see, we've invested so
heavily in acquiring Hank that
I wanna capitalize on it
right from the start.
So, I thought we'd give him
your spot on page two.
My spot? Well,
where does my column go?
Don't worry, Tom.
We'll find some place for you.
I mean it's only temporary
until we get the boy launched.
You don't mind, do you?
Mind? Me?
- Ahh..
- Thank you, Tom. Thank you.
[instrumental music]
[cutlery clinking]
Mr. Bradford.
Hank, when you
joined the Register
you joined a family.
Call Tom, Tom.
Well, would you mind, Tom?
No, no. That's alright,
Mr. Sullivan
You can call me Tom.
I-I can't tell you
what a great pleasure
it is to finally meet you.
Oh, really?
Oh, that's very kind.
I've been reading your columns
ever since I was a little kid.
(Hank)
'And of course, Dave always
used to talk about you.'
Dave? Dave who?
Well, your son, David.
'Uh, we had a couple of classes
together in college.'
- You're David's age?
- Well, approximately.
I, uh, skipped a few grades in
junior high and grammar school.
You mean to say that you're
younger than David?
Well, the way I figured, Tom
Hank here has got to be
the youngest daily columnist
on any major newspaper
in the United States.
Congratulations.
What sounds good, Tom?
Well, it doesn't sound too good
but I'm having the diet plate.
Hank?
Well, I'll have
the macaroni casserole
'and the apple pie a la mode.'
Ah, youth, it's wonderful.
He's so skinny.
[instrumental music]
Thank you.
Floyd, you really
didn't have to bring me
to such an expensive place.
Hey, you deserve
the best that the world
and my credit cards
have to offer.
Well, now you're
making me feel guilty.
Why, for asking me
out to lunch?
Don't be silly.
You made my day.
[laughing]
Here's to us.
- Us?
- Yeah.
Oh, Floyd.
You don't understand.
I only said let's have
lunch together
because I have to
tell you something
that I can't tell you
at the office.
I know.
It's hard to be romantic
with one eye on the Dow Jones.
Oh.
- Uh, Floyd.
- Mm-hmm.
- Listen to me.
- Okay.
Please.
I think we're seeing
too much of each other.
Uh-oh.
I think I spot
a definite down trend.
[clearing throat]
I hate to say this to you.
But..
We're together in
the stock brokerage everyday.
And you ask me out
every night.
I just think we need
our own privacy.
That's all.
You mean you asked me out to
lunch to tell me to get lost?
We'll split the check?
Doesn't help.
Look, Floyd,
don't get upset.
[sighs]
We can still be good..
...co-workers.
Oh, that sounds...boring.
Well, I know you.
And I know you're mature enough
to overcome boredom.
Look, you'll treat it
as a challenge.
You won't let this defeat you.
You'll go out there
and you'll find someone else.
Someone more compatible.
You think so?
I know so.
You're a very attractive man.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Maybe you're right.
- Yeah.
- Cheers.
(Tom)
'You want to
name the baby what?'
Henry Stockwell,
but we'll call him Hank.
Please, that's a very
unpleasant name.
Merle doesn't think so
He thinks it's a great name
to name someone after.
Oh, he does, does he?
I suppose he's also an avid
under s reader
of Hank Sullivan's column.
- Hank who?
- Hank Sullivan.
Who's he?
He's the man who's gonna
push me off page two tomorrow.
Never heard of him.
Me and Merle wanna name the baby
after Hammerin' Hank Aaron.
Oh, I see.
Or we can call him Dizzy.
After Dizzy Dean.
What do you think?
Oh, I don't really know, I don't
wanna think about it now.
I've had a tiring day.
You can take a nap
before dinner.
A nap!
That's what Marvin's
grandpa always does.
I am not Marvin's grandpa!
Just trying to help.
If Marvin's grandpa doesn't
take a nap before dinner
he falls asleep
in his chocolate pudding.
Nicholas, I am a long way
from that kind of behavior.
Good. It kinda spoils dessert.
Oh, listen to this.
I got the reservation
at Tahoe for both
Monday and Tuesday night.
We've got this room
with this giant fire place
and a view of the lake.
We can't go.
What do you mean we can't go?
It was your idea that we go away
to celebrate your birthday.
I know, there's nothing
I'd rather do
but I can't spare
the time right now.
That kid has pushed me out
of my traditional spot
in the paper.
I can't let him
push me any further.
He's not gonna do that.
Oh, he isn't, isn't he? Heh.
You should have him
snapping at your heels.
Well, if you feel that way,
then we really
should get away, shouldn't we?
So you can get
a better perspective.
No, no. My perspective
is just fine.
I can see all the ways
of defending myself.
And it starts with
staying right here
and fighting.
Well, that's a pretty
terrible way
to celebrate your birthday,
isn't it?
- In anger.
- It's my birthday.
I'll celebrate it
the way I feel.
[instrumental music]
Are you kidding?
Dad doesn't deserve a party
with the way he's been
riding everybody.
And you heard him, Joannie,
he doesn't want one.
No, I think he does,
he just said that.
I mean, it's a confusing
time for him.
It's hard to turn .
Huh, I'll say it's hard on us.
It's for you.
It's Paul Armstrong.
Isn't he the publisher
of the Tribune?
- Paul Armstrong.
- Yeah.
Why would he be calling?
Well, you could ask him.
Hello, Paul, it's been
a long time. What's up?
Oh, yeah. I can imagine.
Well, we were all surprised, too
when Hank Sullivan left you
and came over to us.
'Tonight?'
Oh. Yeah, sure,
if that's what you want.
Alright, I'll see you
in a half an hour.
Very good.
So long, Paul.
- I don't get this.
- What's wrong?
'He said he has to see me.'
He's coming over.
- 'Here?'
- Yeah.
He said it might be better
than some place more public.
'That sounds interesting.'
It's nice to be
so popular, huh?
Hmm.
Even if it is
with the competition.
[doorbell ringing]
I'll get it!
Nicholas, I'll get it.
And listen, aren't you
supposed to be upstairs
doing your homework?
Come in, Paul.
Oh, I'm sorry you're not Paul.
I was expecting somebody else.
Uh, may I help you?
Yes, sir. My name is
Floyd Wakley. I have a date--
Oh, yes. Go right
in the living room and wait.
Ah, will it take
that long, sir?
Well, are you, uh,
early, late or prompt?
I'm prompt.
Well, it would take
at least that long.
Everybody dawdles
around here.
[clearing throat]
- Floyd.
- Oh, hello, Nancy.
I thought we reached
an understanding at lunch.
We did.
Then what are you doing here?
Just carrying out your advice.
That was a great
pep talk you gave me.
I found someone that I think
is more compatible.
Well, I'm glad but you didn't
have to come all the way over
there to thank me.
Who is it?
[instrumental music]
Oh, hi, Elizabeth.
Are you ready?
Mm-hmm.
Elizabeth!
- Hi, Floyd.
- You look beautiful.
Well, thank you.
Um, is this
okay with you, Nance?
Why wouldn't it be okay?
Well, you know that's what
I like about this family.
It's so...understanding.
Thank you, Nancy, and goodnight.
'Night.
Night.
Paul, can I get you
anything else?
As a matter of fact, you can.
I'll have a Tom Bradford.
I beg your pardon?
[laughing]
Tom, come on over.
Join us on the Trib.
What?
Wait a-wait a minute.
You, you mean you want me to
come over as a replacement
for Hank Sullivan?
Not at all.
You know how long I've wanted
you writing for us.
Yeah, but I also know how long
you've wanted to
out maneuver Elliot.
Well, that's the game, Tom.
If he gonna hire
my people away from me, fine.
But why can't I hire his?
Gosh, now I'm beginning
to feel like a pawn.
(Paul)
'Well, I'm not
offering you a pawnship.'
You're the finest columnist
to ever hit Sacramento
and I'm offering you
recognition of that..
'...beginning with the dollars.'
Well, I understand
your position, Paul.
And I appreciate it
very much, believe me.
It's just that, uh..
...I-I-I can't
accept your offer.
Now, now, now, Tom,
just a minute.
There's no room
on the Register for both
you and that youngster.
He'll be pushing and shoving
'until there's
no room left for ya.'
Well, I-I'm sure
he will be, but..
...there's such
a thing as loyalty.
Hank Sullivan would call
that old-fashioned thinking.
I've been feeling
very old-fashioned lately.
Thanks a lot, Paul.
'But no thanks.'
Tom, I want you
to think about this.
''Cause we really need you.'
I'm so sorry, Mr. Bradford.
I know how hard it is for you
not to have your
column on page two.
No, that I could live with.
But did you see
where I wound up?
On page .
It's better than page .
It is not better than page .
This is a delivered insult.
Look, look where they have me.
Right next to the "Obituary."
They say it's only temporary.
There is no such thing
as a temporary obituary.
Take a memo.
Mr. Bradford, I-I can't
take a memo right this minute.
- Ca-can we do it later?
- Why later?
Because..
...I'm supposed to be answering
the phones right now
for Mr. Sullivan.
But you're my secretary.
Well, actually, Mr. Bradford
until Mr. Sullivan
can hire his own
I'm half yours
and I'm half his.
Oh, I don't believe this.
I wasn't supposed to
say anything.
Mr. Bradford until
Mr. Randolf got a chance
to explain.
Yeah, well, he'll get
his chance right now.
Hello, Victoria,
this is Tom Bradford.
I have to speak to
Elliot, immediately!
Hello, Elliot.
Stay right where you are
'cause I'm coming up there.
No, I don't think
a surprise party
is such a good idea.
He is so touchy these days.
I don't think
any one of us should
countermand his orders.
- What orders?
- Dad.
- What're you doing home?
- I'm asking. What orders?
Nothing, it was just a thought.
It was my thought, dad.
I'd like to give you a party.
We already decided that.
(Joannie)
'I know, but, it doesn't
have to be a birthday party.'
I mean, there could be
some other reason for it.
There's gotta be
a lots of reasons
we could give you a party.
'Choose something.'
How about for quitting my job?
Quitting?
Uh, eh, the Register?
Tom, that's impossible.
No, Abby, it was beautiful.
I showed them, I'm not some
deadwood they can push around.
I quit.
[instrumental music]
Well, uh, of course
the offer still holds, Tom.
But, uh, what happened
to all the loyalty?
Oh, well,
nothing happened to it.
I just found out
that I was giving it
and nobody was returning any.
You'll find we work differently
here at the Trib.
When do you wanna start?
When do you need me?
(Paul)
'Like, yesterday.'
But I suppose you wanna
take off a few weeks.
Get a bit of rest.
Collect your thoughts.
Oh, no, no,
my thoughts are collected.
I wanna get to work.
I wanna show those people
back at the Register
that I'm as good as I ever was.
That's what I wanna hear.
Tom, we're going
to make a great team.
I'm sure we will, Paul.
Okay, then.
If it's agreeable with you,
we'll start tomorrow.
I'll have an office
all ready for you.
'And we'll clear space
for your column on page two.'
Page two?
If that's agreeable.
Oh. Yeah, I think
I can live with it.
Thanks, Paul.
- To better days.
- Better days.
I should've done this
a long time ago.
The Register was very good
to you for a lot of years.
Too many years, I was in a rut.
I should have realized that.
No wonder I was feeling old.
You're not old.
You know, I wish
I could make you go to
a blackboard and write
a thousand times
"Tom Bradford is not old."
Not now, I feel like
a kid starting out.
New job, new challenges.
This is the best thing
I ever did.
Tom, Elliot Randolph
called the house this morning.
'He wants to talk to you.'
No, I said everything
I wanted to say to Elliot
yesterday.
Well, there's a lot
of things to be
worked out
about your resignation.
Our attorneys
can work out the details.
Tom, he's an old friend.
He's my youth
happy competitor.
Tom, I really think
we should go to Tahoe
for more than
just your birthday.
- 'For a week or so.'
- Why?
Because you've made
a lot of decisions
really fast and I think
you should relax
and sort it all out.
There's nothing to sort out.
I had an old job
and it was depressing.
I have a new job and I love it.
Do you know what sounds good?
What?
'Macaroni Casserole'
and Apple Pie.
I think I'll go for it.
A la mode.
(Nancy)
'No, Elizabeth.'
'You didn't wake me when you'
snuck in last night.
Oh, great,
I was worried about it.
It was a little late. In fact,
it wasn't even last night.
It was this morning.
Oh, really?
What happened?
Did Floyd's car breakdown?
Uh, no, we just
got to talking.
Oh, I know what you mean.
Floyd probably
started talking about
technical upswings
and marketing sell-ups
and you couldn't
shut him up, right?
Actually, we talked
about our childhoods.
He's really very sensitive.
Floyd?
Mm-hmm. Did he ever
tell you about his rabbit?
Uh, no, he spared me the rabbit.
When it ran away, he kept
it's cage as a memorial.
Oh, that is sensitive.
'Oh, I thought
it was pretty touching.'
I always wanted a rabbit.
Liz, how can you stand
to be with that boring person?
Well, maybe I'm boring.
(Nancy)
'You are not.'
Maybe he isn't.
I find that
very hard to believe.
Well, then don't worry about it.
You didn't like Floyd anyway
so what's the big deal?
Yeah, huh. What's the big deal?
[chuckles]
(female #)
'Mr. Bradford's here
to see you, sir.'
(Paul)
'Send him in.'
Good morning, Paul.
(Paul)
''Morning, Tom.'
Hey, how do you like
that office we gave you, huh?
Oh, boy, I tell you,
it's great.
I feel like the publisher.
Well, we wanted you
to be comfortable.
I'm more than comfortable.
In fact, when they called me
and told me
that you wanted to see me
it was tough for me
to tear myself away.
Tom, I want you
to take a look at that.
Sure. What is it?
That's a report from the State
Senate Crime Committee.
- On prostitution.
- Oh.
I-I see that this
is dated two years ago.
If I remember correctly,
we did a report on this
at the Register
when it first came out.
Oh, sure. So did we.
Tom, I'm not interested
in the news value.
It's in the subject itself.
There's a lot of heat.
- Heat?
- Sure.
Grabs a reader's attention.
Right?
Oh. Oh, you mean
that it's provocative?
Sensational?
- Sexy?
- Make a great column.
Ha-have you been
reading my column?
You know, I usually
write about my family
and all my readers
are family people.
Oh, sure, a-a-and look.
Your columns are excellent.
It's just that the way
the circulation w*r is going
right now, we need
a little spice.
I don't know, I..
This isn't exactly
my cup of tea.
I don't think
I'd know where to start.
That's why
I gave you the report.
Look it over.
You'll find the angle.
Anything else
I can help you with, Tom?
No.
No, not, not at the moment.
Okay.
[instrumental music]
(Tommy)
'Dad, can I talk to you?'
(Tom)
'I'm busy. That's why
the door is closed.'
(Tommy)
'Alright, alright.'
Hi.
Dad's just chased me
out of the study.
What's he doing here?
Oh, well, he's writing
his first column
for the Tribune at home
'cause he says
he can't work
in his new office.
Well, this new job
sure hasn't helped
his old disposition any.
[dramatic music]
[typewriter spool creaking]
[keys clacking]
I think Floyd is
definitely sensitive.
Yeah, but, Joannie,
you don't know him like I do.
Well, he looks sensitive.
I think it's really big
of you to give him up.
It is?
More than big, it's selfless.
I mean, not many girls can do
that and not be jealous.
Who's jealous?
Well, that's what I'm saying.
I mean, Floyd is perfect
for Elizabeth.
And it's good
that you can see that.
You don't think
he is too old for her, do you?
No, she's practically
the same age as you are.
Well, I've been out
in the business world
and her life's been
so academic and sheltered.
Well, that's why
Floyd is perfect for her.
He's sophisticated
and stimulating, you know.
- He is?
- Well, according to Elizabeth.
You know..
...sometimes when you're working
with a person day after day
it just don't seem
like they really are.
Hey, we're not finished.
I know, but I have
business with Elizabeth.
[chuckling]
Beautiful, Tom.
You're minutes
ahead of deadline.
Slow start. I was nervous.
Never gets any easier, does it?
No, it never does.
I uh, I don't understand.
Where? I-I'll simplify
the sentence.
No, no, no,
the sentence is clear enough.
It's, uh..
This is all about
your two daughters
fixing the furnace?
Yes, that's my kind of heat.
It's not amusing, Tom.
It wasn't meant to be.
I was writing what I am.
What my readers expect.
Tom, I'm trying to help you
reach more readers.
Elliot's doing the same thing
with Hank Sullivan.
My readers trust me.
Times change, Tom.
But I don't.
Not about this anyway.
And neither does my column.
[sighing]
Can't you see it, Elizabeth?
Floyd's just doing
this to make me jealous.
Hah! I don't believe that.
Then why did he ask
my sister to go out?
Because we like each other.
That's what
I'm trying to tell you.
It has nothing to do with you.
It has nothing to do with you.
Look, it's none
of your business.
'You dropped Floyd.'
Because he's such a drag.
And I'm just trying
to save you from him.
Or save him for yourself, maybe.
That's not true.
'Oh, it is true.'
Look, you had your chance
with Floyd
and you blew it.
Oh, I did, did I?
Yes, so you just
stay away from him.
Hey, look, don't
tell me what to do.
I knew him first.
I'm warning you, Nancy.
Yeah? And I'm warning you.
I think you
worry too much, Abby.
No, I'd just like to get
Tom away for a while.
I mean, let's face it.
Mid life crisis in Lake Tahoe's
a lot better than Sacramento.
Yeah.
I thought he looked good
this morning. Didn't you?
That new spot on the Tribune's
probably just what he needed.
[phone ringing]
Oh, I'll get it.
Bradfords'.
Oh, hi, dad.
Yeah, hang on, she's right here.
Abby, it's for you.
Hi.
What?
[dramatic music]
'Oh, I see.'
No, you-you just
stay right there.
I'll be-I'll be right down.
'No, I know where it is. That's
where you always go with Max.'
Okay, bye.
(Joannie)
'Something wrong?'
Yeah, I'm-I'm meeting
your father
at the Lasting House Bar.
How come?
He's just been fired.
[music continues]
[dramatic music]
(Tommy)
'Well, what's next? Welfare?'
(Janet)
'Don't panic, I'm sure
your father will find a job.'
(Tommy)
'Not in Sacramento.'
At least not in
the newspaper business.
If he doesn't find
something soon enough
Mary'll probably
have to quit med school.
Abby'll have to go back to work.
(Elizabeth)
'And I'll have to drop
out of college.'
[dramatic music]
[door opens]
How you feeling?
Listen, I've been thinking.
All your excuses
have evaporated.
We can take
that trip to Tahoe now.
Just the two of us,
for as long as we want.
You know the weather report
says it's spectacular.
There's the fresh snow
and the sun is out and--
No, Abby.
But, Tom, you need it.
We can't afford it.
Not with the
self-centered stunts
that I've been pulling
around here.
I've let this family down.
You know, I'm not
concerned about this family.
I'm concerned about you.
That's just it. So was I.
So the Bradfords
have lost their breadwinner.
Tom, you need this trip.
'Guilt is such
a waste of energy.'
It's bad enough
knowing what I did.
But not knowing how to fix it?
That really hurts.
I wonder if we'll be
able to keep the house.
Well, there's always
Bradford construction company.
Uh-huh. He'd hate it.
I'd hate it. It wouldn't work.
(Elizabeth)
'Yeah, well, nothing's
gonna work unless'
'he stops moping around
and gets out of that chair.'
It's ironic. I mean,
how many times has he told us
to grow up and here
he is sittin' around
'acting like a five-year-old.'
Okay, that's-that's enough.
What's wrong?
I-I just don't wanna
hear this anymore, okay?
Yeah, but Tommy's right,
dad's acting like
an erratic adolescent.
And you?
Have you been
behaving any better?
Have you forgotten
he's your father?
Well, he sure
isn't acting like one.
Yeah, well, no,
I guess he isn't right now.
And that's because he can't.
And, uh, that's what
hurts him so much.
Abby, you have to admit.
His behavior has hurt
a few other people.
This man has worked
all his life for you people.
He's put up with
all your growing pains.
He always gave you
what you needed.
Well, I guess
you're right, but..
What he did was
so irresponsible.
Elizabeth, your father's
afraid of growing old
and becoming dependent.
'And the way you guys
are talking right now'
'I can sure understand
how he feels.'
'He needs your strength'
and your support.
'The way he's always
given his to you.'
Well, what's going on in here?
Hi. Nothing.
I was just wondering..
...we're all so good
at taking from Tom Bradford
can't we try giving
just a little understanding?
Alpha, how about Alpha?
- Means the first.
- Oh, forget it.
I knew an Alpha
in kindergarten.
She threw rocks
at everybody and always
went to the boys' room.
- Elisa?
- Oh, no.
That sounds pretentious
for Alice.
Okay, how about Alice?
Hey, you know, that's not bad
for a middle name.
Why don't you write it down?
- Well, I can't.
- Oh, why not?
I got an Aunt Alice
and my mother hates her.
[knock on door]
- I'll get it.
- Thanks.
Whoa! Hm.
Alister.
Andrea?
- Abigail?
- Hi, no, Elizabeth.
- Oh, Elizabeth.
- Hi.
Wh-wh-what are you doing here?
Uh, who is Abigail?
No, I asked you first.
Well, I have to talk
to you guys about dad.
- Well, what about dad?
- Yeah.
Exactly. I think it's about time
we ask that question.
Really?
I really don't feel
right about this.
'Now, Floyd!'
What's wrong with two co-workers
having lunch together, huh?
Well, let me put it this way.
Are we gonna tell Elizabeth?
Well, that's up to you.
That's up to
why you asked me here.
The truth?
The truth.
To tell you it worked.
What worked?
I am jealous, Floyd.
'And I have to admit'
I was very wrong to call
that brief little recess
in our relationship.
That brush-off was a recess?
Yes, just a recess.
And I think we should start
seeing each other
socially again.
Now don't worry,
Elizabeth will understand.
Oh, Nancy.
Here you are. Good.
Joannie, what are
you doing here?
Oh, I just ran all the way
from the stock brokerage.
When they told me you were here
I was afraid
I wouldn't catch you.
Catch me why?
We gotta go
home right now, okay?
Wait a minute, did Elizabeth
put you up to this?
It has nothing to do with
Elizabeth, alright?
- It's dad.
- What about dad?
Oh, I'll tell you on the way.
Good to see you.
Good to see you, too.
Mr. Sullivan.
There's a Mr. Bradford
to see you.
- David Bradford.
- Oh, well, thank you, Donna.
I know.
- It looks strange, doesn't it?
- Yeah.
- Hey, David.
- Hi, Hank.
- It's been a long time.
- Yeah.
Uh, I'm sorry, I guess I should
have called for an appointment.
Oh, come on.
- Wanna sit down?
- Yeah. Thanks.
Well, what's up?
I-I guess your father sent you
down here to pick up some
of his personal stuff, huh?
No, he doesn't
even know I'm here.
Well, then
what brings you down?
I need a good newspaper man
to help me find out something.
Well, I guess I'm the second
best newspaper man you know.
'Look, David, I-I surely'
didn't mean for it
to work out this way.
Hey, I got a pretty good idea
what happened here.
I don't blame you for it.
(Hank)
'Thank you.'
But I don't know
what happened at the Tribune.
'Is there any way
you can find out?'
David, it-it's
all over the streets.
Well, uh,
didn't your father tell you?
No, he won't even talk about it.
I mean, we want to help him
but we don't even know
where to start.
He was fired. Because he
wouldn't knuckle under.
To what?
'To having his column
dictated to him.'
They do that over there?
(Hank)
'They do.'
And it took me two years
to get up enough..
...manhood to reject
their pressure.
And from day one, your father
wouldn't budge an inch.
'I'll tell you another thing.'
It's gonna take
a long time for me to
fill his shoes.
Oh, why didn't he tell us?
I don't know.
Maybe he just..
Maybe he just doesn't like
playing the big hero.
Oh, I guess not.
These days,
especially to himself.
[knocking on door]
Oh, can't a man
have any privacy?
What is this ridiculous parade?
Dad, you'll get your privacy.
Just give us five minutes, huh?
We wanna apologize.
And we want to
promise you something.
Abby, what is this all about?
Would you just listen?
It's a present.
Yeah, and we chose
David to deliver it.
I think it's some kind
of speech.
Boy, I sure wouldn't want
a speech for my birthday.
(Joannie)
'Nicholas, let David talk.'
Go ahead, David.
Uh, dad, uh, you've been
the rock
in this family for a long time.
You've helped us
through our rough days
and you've been there
whenever we needed you.
And that's a lot of times, dad.
Times eight.
Who's saying this speech
you or David?
Dad, I found out
why you were fired.
'And it makes me very proud.'
Any man that does what you did
can handle anything,
including fiftieth birthdays
'and unemployment, right?.'
(all)
'Right.'
(David)
'And even if
you don't need our help'
we're going to give it to you.
It's our chance
to pay you back, dad.
It's only fair.
Everything we have
we owe to you.
You made us a family,
you're stuck with us.
And this family is gonna
stand behind you, Mr. B.
Right. We don't know
what you're gonna wind up doing
or how long it's gonna
take to find another job
but whatever we have to give up,
we'll do it gladly.
(Joannie)
''Cause you deserve it.'
'Cause we need you, dad.
Yeah, and we want you
back as a dad.
Like you used to be.
[instrumental music]
I'm back, Nicholas.
I'm right here.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
(Mary)
'Ah.'
[indistinct chattering]
(Elliot)
'You drive a hard bargain, Tom.'
(Tom)
Well, that's because
there were complaints
that my column was missing.
- Who told you?
- I did.
There's something else.
After I apologized
to you this morning
I apologized to Hank over lunch.
And we agreed on something.
Why don't you tell him, Hank?
No, Tom, you tell him.
It was your idea.
Alright. Well, we feel
that we should
both be on page two,
side by side.
Give the readers both barrels,
the younger outlook
versus the traditional.
Well-balanced controversy.
(Hank)
'Two challenging view points.'
Hold it, you two, hold it.
What's wrong, Elliot?
You don't have to
talk me into it.
Just do it in
for the next edition.
- Thanks.
- Thanks, Mr. Randolph.
- Hey, kid.
- Yeah.
I meant the other kid.
Me?
Happy birthday.
[instrumental music]
[instrumental music]
Floyd told you?
When?
He called me this morning.
He told me
you invited him to lunch
and you tried everything
to cut me out.
Oh, Elizabeth,
you have to understand.
I did it for you, really.
I just don't think
you see Floyd as he really is.
Oh, I see him as he really is.
But I also see you,
Nancy Bradford.
You just wanted him
because I had him.
Oh, that's not exact..
Did you say had?
Um, yeah, I did.
See, I no longer have
any interest in Floyd.
Oh, why?
Well, for a couple of reasons.
One, you were right.
After two dates,
Floyd Wakley's a drag.
Yeah, what's
the second reason?
He told me to put
Joannie on the phone
and he asked her out.
Are you kidding?
- Joannie?
- Mm-hmm.
And she accepted.
Oh, poor Joannie.
[knock on door]
Yeah.
Hi, Nancy,
can I borrow your ski parka?
Sure, yeah.
Hi.
Yeah, I hope you and dad
have a really good time
in Tahoe.
Thanks.
I wish we were
all going, really.
- I don't.
- Huh?
Come on.
[grunting]
Good news, Mr. B.
We finally figured out
a name for the baby.
It's Thomas.
In honor of you, Mr. B.
Oh, that's nice.
I'm really touched.
But wait a minute, now.
Suppose it's a girl.
Well, Merle promised he'll just
keep on trying
till they get it right.
[instrumental music]
[laughing]
Okay, so long.
- Have a nice trip.
- Bye.
[theme music]
[music continues]
04x17 - Semi-Centennial Bradford
Watch/Buy Amazon
The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.
The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.