06x30 - Desperate Treasures

[bunniefuu]

I can't believe

we're gonna lose the ranch.

Only if we can't

come up with the money

to cover for an

obscene amount

of damage to Main Street.

And now that

I've done my job

of stating the problem,

someone else can come up

with the solution.

That's right.

Well, Lou, the Sheriff's

waiting in the Dusty Tush

public restroom

for you to deliver

the money.

But don't worry.

You have some time.

It's the last day of camp.

Oh, never mind then.

I'd hurry.

Why is the Sheriff waiting

in the public restroom?

Her office was destroyed

in the stampede.

Also, she ate some bad scampi

and it gave her the trots.

If the Sheriff doesn't get

the money, the ranch

will be put up for auction.

But there's no way

we can come up with

that much money in a day.

And I, for one,

am devastated.

Do you think a hot tub

would fit in here?

We can't go down

without a fight.

Hey, I know,

we should have

a fundraiser.

A fundraiser? Good luck.

You're about as welcome

around here as a porcupine

in a balloon factory.

Then we'll cast

the widest net possible,

like with a live stream.

That would be

a great idea,

except they cut off

our Internet.

Is it because Lou didn't

pay the bill?

-Yes.

-Maybe.

Wait a minute.

Megan, do you still work

for the local TV station?

You mean K-Tush?

Of course.

K-Tush, every step of the way,

we are behind you.

Well, then who needs

the Internet?

We're gonna have ourselves

a good old fashioned telethon.

That's amazing.

What's a telethon?

Just play along like you know

what she's talking about.

Old people love that.

[all cheering]

[all] ♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

We can't lose the camp.

-I love it here so much.

-I know.

And whoever takes over

is going to find

all the fireworks

I stashed around here

and forgot about.

Oh, well, I guess my loss

is their kaboom.

Maybe there's something

we can do in case

the fundraiser fails.

I still don't know

what telethons are,

but if they were so great,

they wouldn't

have gone extinct.

What about the lost treasure

of Dusty Tush?

If we could find it,

we'd be able

to pay back the Sheriff.

And maybe even

have some left over

to de-snake the lake.

Yeah, I am getting

a little tired of playing,

"Is it a stick

or certain death?"

But the last clue we found

was the old movie reel

that didn't make any sense.

Well, we could at least

take another look.

It's now or never.

Ooh, I'm getting

butterflies.

I haven't felt

this nervous

since that stick

in the lake started

swimming my way.

Okay, people,

the telethon to save

Kikiwaka Ranch starts soon,

so let's get

the phones set up.

Um, crazy question.

Were phone shaped

phones not available?

[grunts] Camera, very heavy.

Megan, very small.

Lemme get that for you.

Phew! [chuckles]

We did it.

For the telethon, everyone will

put on a performance

to show the audience at home

how great Kikiwaka Ranch is.

The more viewers like it,

the more they'll donate

by calling in,

and we will track

the money we make here.

Oh, who's hosting

the telethon?

Because I know a guy

with charisma for days.

What? Who is it?

I'll scratch his eyes out.

-Oh, it's me. Yay!

-Yeah.

I'm gonna host because hosting

a telethon is at the top

of my bucket list.

Admirable, not sad.

Now all we need is to show

the people at home

something great to watch.

Noah, Parker, you guys

should put on a dance.

-Easy.

-Yeah, I feel great about that.

And make it epic

or we will lose the ranch.

-We should practice.

-My tummy hurts.

And as for me,

I'm gonna perform.

I'm gonna...

I don't know what I'm gonna do.

I'm great at so many things.

Let's see. Singing, dancing,

just being awesome.

You know what? I'm gonna figure

this out in my cabin.

Yeah.

-What should I do? [chuckles]

-Ah, Victoria,

you are very bendy.

Can you do something

with that?

Does this answer

your question?

Yikes! It does.

But I also would have

accepted a simple,

"Yes, Lou."

See, this film

is useless.

It's just two cowboys

digging a hole.

Are they burying

the treasure?

Are they digging up

the treasure?

Also, this could be anywhere.

Also, is that my bedsheet?

Well, we do know

one thing.

Wherever they are,

there's no color.

There must be

some clue here.

According to local legend,

those are the brothers

who founded

Dusty Tush, Muddy Keester,

Sandy Britches

and Twin Cheeks.

What kind of people

would come up with those

ridiculous names?

Rick and Randy Buttock.

Yeah, that tracks.

During

the California Gold Rush,

the Buttock Brothers

decided to dig for gold

in Wyoming instead,

and were the first ones

to find it.

With all that gold,

you think they

would have bought

a new last name.

They hid the treasure,

but this film doesn't

give us any clue

where it actually is.

Wait! What's that?

Probably guacamole.

I like to eat in bed.

No, stop there.

I mean

these symbols.

In video games,

there's usually secrets

hidden in the maps,

and this compass

looks like the one

on our map.

Wait. Maybe the rest

of the movie

was just a decoy.

This is why you

always stick around for

the post-credit sequence.

Here, trace the map

so we don't have

to shine a light

through the deed

to see it anymore.

Also, I've gotten very

into the arts this summer.

If we line

the compasses up...

That X looks like

it might be over Dusty Pits,

the nearby cave system.

That must be

where the treasure is.

Then let's get all up

in those dusty pits.

I heard what I said,

but let's go anyway.

Lou, you ready

to go on the air?

I'll count you down.

[sighs] Okay, good.

I'm sweating so much

I'm glad the audience

can't smell me.

Oh, wait.

We were already live.

They heard all of that.

Cool, cool.

Hello, and welcome

to the first ever

Kikiwaka Ranch telethon.

We're trying to get donations

to save our camp,

and maybe finally,

buy that fire extinguisher

I've had my eye on.

[laughs] Just kidding!

We are already a fireproof

paradise for your kids.

Now, let's get

this thing started.

Help me welcome

our first performer, Peter.

[all applauding]

[instrumental music playing]

Okay, Peter!

[all applauding]

[telephone ringing]

Oh, our first caller.

Hello.

Five cheese pizzas

and some garlic knots?

Sorry. Think you've dialed

the wrong jet ski.

Your number is actually

one digit off from Chester

Cheesy's Pizza Pie Palace,

and it's only going

to get worse.

[menacingly] Today's

stuffed crust Sunday.

Uh, as you know,

this is a working

ranch camp

with a lot going on

like chores and...

What is going on here?

Well, just updating

your office.

Your taste in furniture

is what we interior decorating

enthusiasts like to call...

[shudders]

Don't worry, Tushians,

there's still plenty of time

to save our ranch.

Up next is one

of our most talented

counselors, Destiny,

and she'll be performing...

A cow makeover.

Okay. This is happening.

I panicked, okay?

And besides, Megan

told me a majority

of K-Tush's audience

is livestock.

I'm playing to my demo.

[telephone ringing]

Kikiwaka-thon.

No, we don't sell pizza.

This is very wet.

Here it is.

Dusty Pits.

We'll only save the camp

if we can find the treasure.

So come on,

start looking for clues.

Guys, there's a bunch

of words written

on the walls.

"Beware."

"Get out!"

"You are ghost food."

You know what?

You guys can take

the lead on this one.

Look at this.

"If treasure is something

you hope to unmask,

you must overcome

a series of tasks."

Hey, maybe it's a clue.

Aw, more riddles?

Dude, riddles are awesome.

What's orange

and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot! [chuckles]

I'm going to be

such a great dad one day.

Uh, guys?

Why is the ceiling

staring back at us?

Is this

another riddle?

[animals chittering]

I wish it was.

[bats screeching]

-Look out! Duck.

-They're not ducks.

They're bats.

[groans]

[groans] My hand.

Bill, are you okay?

I don't know.

It really hurts.

Oh, duck! I get it.

Sorry.

[sitar music playing]

I think I need to give up

soft pretzels for a while.

Someone just donated money

to make it stop.

Okay.

Thank you, Victoria.

We're in the middle

of a telethon, Destiny.

What is going on here?

Oh, Chester Cheesy's

Pizza Pie Palace

sent these as a thank you.

They are getting rich

off of this telethon.

Well, nice for Mr. Cheesy!

Okay, folks,

get your wallets ready

because we have

a dance performance coming up

that you are gonna love.

Okay, I won't

sugarcoat this.

The telethon is a bust,

and the fate of the ranch

rests on you.

I wouldn't mind

a little sugar coating.

You're kind of putting

a lot of pressure

on our performance, Lou.

Yeah, and pressure

makes diamonds.

Also squishes stuff

and turns it to goo.

Either way, it'll be

interesting television.

Now hush and do

your little flippy flips.

There. That should

feel better.

Wait. Is there something

behind this cart?

Jake, help me.

[wheels squeaking]

[sighs]

Hey, look, a door.

But there's

no handle or knob.

Then, hey, look,

a wall!

I bet the treasure's

in there.

Come on, push!

[door creaks]

What are we gonna do?

Well, I could've

blown it up,

but Destiny took all the

fireworks I had left.

Which I actually appreciate.

She's really helping me grow.

Wait, I bet

this is our first task.

Like what the riddle

on the wall was

talking about.

Look, there's a lever

above the door.

It's too high

to reach.

I'd use my lasso,

but I sprained

my roping hand when I fell.

Jake. You're gonna

have to do it.

-Why me?

-Dude.

You've gotten so much better

at outdoorsy stuff

since you came to camp.

And you've been k*lling it

in our roping lessons.

You finally called it a lasso

instead of "that thing

that looks like a lake snake."

Okay. I'll just pretend

it's a really tall cow

with no head or body

and looks a lot like a lever.

-Yes!

-Jake, you did it?

Yeah, I'm a regular cow-bruh.

And now the moment

you've all been

waiting for,

our greatest performance yet,

please give it up

for Parker and Noah.

[all applauding]

[dance music playing]

[Victoria] Go, Parker!

Go, Noah!

Whoo!

Me? Oh!

[Victoria] Whoo!

[all applauding]

That was amazing.

Why aren't people

calling in to donate?

I did my flippity flips.

Uh...

Maybe because I accidentally

turned off the camera?

Meggy Pie,

darling sunflower,

cherished angel...

[screams] Why?

Are you kidding me?

So you didn't get anything?

Actually, it's back on now,

so I'm getting the part where

you're being snippy with me.

Um, it's okay.

You can just do

the dance again, and we'll

get it on camera this time.

-Right, guys?

-Yeah.

Not a problem, boss.

I'm so ready.

I'll be good to go

in a couple...

Argh! Cramp! Cramp!

Catch me.

What are we gonna do?

The telethon's

almost over.

It's the last day of camp,

and we're nowhere

near our goal.

I think it's over.

We've done

everything we can.

I just wanted to create

a place where kids

could have fun

and learn to ranch

and grow into the best versions

of themselves.

I thought we would be

welcomed for that.

But the people of Dusty Tush

have spoken

and maybe it's best that the

camp is closing.

We never really

fit in here anyway.

[sad music playing]

There's nothing here

but this piano.

Oh no, if the lost treasure

ends up being

the gift of music,

I'm gonna be

pretty miffed.

I think we have to play it

to open this door.

Winnie, can you do it?

Oh, I play guitar.

This is a piano.

Common mistake.

But you're the only one here

who can read music.

Plus, I have a hurt arm,

and Jake once got

trapped in our piano.

Found my corn dog, though.

Okay, I'll try.

[playing piano]

Winnie, it's working.

Whoo-hoo!

I'm gifted and talented

after all, school!

[rumbling]

[thuds]

Oops.

Wow. Looks like you have

to play the song perfectly

or the door won't open.

From one big time

mistake maker to another,

good luck.

Winnie, take your time

and focus.

Seriously? I'm not called

Wild Winnie Webber

because I'm wildly patient.

But you've come

a long way at Kikiwaka.

You buckled down

to learn tap dance,

and to take

horseback riding

lessons from Lou.

I'd call that stepping into your

power, brosephina.

You're right.

I can do this.

-[plays piano]

-[door rumbling]

Keep going, Winnie.

The door will start

to shut when I stop.

You should go now, Bill.

No way.

Not without you.

Now! Run for it!

I've always wanted

to do that.

[all] Whoa!

Right?

Guys.

We just found the lost treasure

of Dusty Tush.

This is totally enough

to save the camp.

And pay for a new

robotic hand for Bill.

It's just a sprain, man.

[grunts]

I can't open this chest.

Who cares?

You can dry your tears

in this big pile of gold.

Uh, guys.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

I'm starting to get

the feeling we're trapped.

What? Why?

Well, for one, there's no door

out of this room.

And two, that!

[all screaming]

There's no way out.

The door won't move

without the piano

and the walls won't move

because walls

are very stubborn that way.

Well, if this is

the end,

I just want to say

I've had a blast hunting

for treasure with you guys.

I'm just sorry it ends

with us becoming

skeletons in here.

No offense.

You look great

for your age.

I've loved all

of our adventures

this summer.

Like when you two had to save me

during my audition

for Ultimate Western Warrior.

Or when we rescued

those beavers

on Tush Island.

Or when we protected

the camp from dragons

with the help

of a radioactive land shark.

Hold up, that one

might have been a dream.

Too bad this is

our last adventure.

I almost wish we never found

this first clue on the map.

"Near a mass of gilded bricks.

This tool will save you

from a fix."

That's how we found

the jade compass.

Did it ever save us

from a fix?

Now would be a good time.

Jake, you're a genius.

I hear that a lot.

But I also have no clue

what you're talking about.

Which also happens a lot.

I've been holding onto this

compass for luck.

But I think this

might be the fix it

gets us out of.

[clicks]

No way.

There's a hole

in the bottom of it.

I think it might

lead to a tunnel.

Do we jump into it?

"Do we jump into it?"

You always jump

into strange holes.

Have I taught you

nothing this summer?

[Winnie screams]

Stepping into

her power again.

She is the moment.

Well, our telethon

is ending,

and things

aren't looking good.

To those of you who did donate.

Thank you.

Come on over

for some pizza.

Actually...

Never mind.

You snooze, you lose.

Well, before we go, forever,

I just want to say thank you.

To the best campers

and counselors

in the whole Wild West.

This has been the best summer

of my life.

Anyhoo,

I guess the only

thing left to say is...

Wait!

Oh, look kids,

a bucket for our tears.

No, it's for the money.

-What money?

-From the town.

I can't believe it.

[coins clanking]

This is for all

the damage that I caused.

And probably

some future damage too.

Bye!

Aw, Marsha.

She still terrifies me.

For the most talented young

clothing designer

I've ever met.

Oh, thank you, Rose.

It has been such

a wonderful experience.

Take the compliment, honey.

Stop milking it.

And this is for our

favorite ice cream shop

customer/performer.

Bringing Shakespeare

and sherbet to the world

has been the greatest

honor of my life.

But to be clear,

sherbet is still garbage.

These are gold teeth.

[thuds]

And this is from me.

But why?

I thought you didn't like us.

I thought you all

didn't like us.

I reckon we didn't at first.

But when I heard you

explain what the ranch

has meant to you

well, I realized what

a good friend you turned out

to be to Dusty Tush.

And if I'm being honest,

to me.

Aw, Marshal.

The Marshal.

I said we were friends,

not emergency contacts.

You city slickers have been

real good neighbors,

and it's high time

we were the same.

We're so much closer.

But still so far away.

We need more money.

With only five minutes left to

go, we need a miracle.

[Jake] Hey, guys,

what's yellow,

heavy, and old

and saves ranches

from getting sold?

The lost treasure

of Dusty Tush?

Bingo. Look who's good

at solving riddles.

Could've used you an hour ago.

You found it.

Amazing!

This is more than enough

to save our camp.

[all cheering]

But how did you find it?

Wait. First, let me

take this money

to the Sheriff.

Then give me

all the juicy deets.

Good thing I wore

my jogging boots.

Well, folks,

this is Lou Hockhauser

camp director, saying goodbye,

not forever.

[all cheering

and applauding]

Oh! Sorry.

The camera was off again.

Dang it. Okay, kids,

back in the well,

we're gonna do it again.

Everyone look surprised.

And that's how

it happened.

I wouldn't call us heroes,

but you could.

Should someone go back

and grab that poor skeleton?

I already called dibs, lady,

back off!

Well, I'm glad

everything worked out.

Even though this would

have been a prime spot

for one of them

big old chess sets.

Is this a beak?

Sure is.

Well, I need to officially

thank you guys

for pulling off the treasure

hunt of the century.

Yeah, your counselors and I

have been trying to keep you

out of trouble all summer,

but as it turns out,

trouble saved the day.

Here's to getting into

even more trouble

next year?

-You know I'm in.

-Samesies. Bill?

I think the only

appropriate response

here is "Yee-haw."

All that's left to do now

is kick off the last

sing-along of the summer.

Winnie, you up for it?

Challenge accepted.

[playing country guitar]

♪ Way down yonder

Where the cattle low ♪

♪ Where the hot sun shines

And the cool winds blow ♪

♪ Is my home on the range ♪

♪ Where I always want to go

Kikiwaka ♪

♪ Where coyotes howl

And mustangs neigh ♪

♪ Where the eagles caw

And the burros bray ♪

♪ But we're all one family

At the end of the day ♪

♪ Kikiwaka ♪

♪ There's gold in the hills

And snakes for good measure ♪

♪ But the best things we found

Are the friendships

We'll treasure ♪

♪ Way down yonder

Where the dogies roam ♪

♪ Where the tumbleweeds roll

And the river flows ♪

♪ There's a camp so fun

I never wanna go home ♪

♪ Kikiwaka ♪

♪ A camp so fun

I never wanna go home ♪

♪ Kikiwaka ♪

See you next summer,

everybody!

[all cheering

and applauding]

[theme music playing]