♪ We are splitsboro kids
♪ And we go to sidekick school
♪ Learning to be second best
♪ While playing by the rules
♪ Maxum man is missing
♪ Now we rule the school
♪ Flyin', smashin', bashin' stuff ♪
♪ And lookin' super cool
♪ I'm a sidekick, sidekick
♪ That's the life for me
♪ Half-sized super zeros
♪ With full-sized hero dreams
♪ I'm a sidekick, sidekick
♪ What an awesome gig
♪ Just like superheroes (just like superhzeroes)
♪ But only half as big
♪ Sidekick!
♪♪♪
(Shrill scream)
Eric kitty!
(Shrill scream)
(Shrill scream)
(Shrill scream)
Vana! What's going on?
Vana?!
Kitty's lost it.
She found out that "bandages "
With movie star joshua sideburns
Is filming right in our gym!
They're making another one of those
Silly teenage mummy movies?
Let's just hope the other fans don't find out...
(Cell phones ring, piercing screams)
(Shrill scream) (toilet flushes)
(Monkey screeches)
(Sirens sounds, shrill screaming)
They found out.
Eric all this... For one bad mummy movie!
Even joshua's hair products get their own trailer!
Ugh! Oof!
All huh?
Oh, hey guys!
Eric kitty, you are acting super weird... Er
Than normal.
Eric, you don't understand.
As president of the bandages fanclub
I've got to bring something joshua-related
To our next meeting.
I've just got to!
Bye.
Fans are so sad.
You won't catch me chasing after some -
(Heavenly choir)
Whoa! (Car honks)
(Giggles) of course, if I chased after joshua
It will totally be because I'm the school news reporter
Not some crazy fan.
Yep, any interest I have in joshua
Would be totally professional.
Now get out of my way!
Huh, they sure are motivated.
They sure are.
I wonder what that's like?
(Sniffing)
Mmmm. Oh boy...
Deep fried-y goodness...
(Slurping)
Uh... (Gasp)
There it is! It's...it's...
(Heavenly choir sings)
Who-hoo! Ha-ha!
(Eating sounds)
I wish we didn't even have to chew!
(Gasp) it's him!
Joshua sideburns!
His hair!
(In awe) it's beauuutiful!
Perfect sandwich.
Kitty here I am joshua!
Your number one fan!
Huh? Aaaagh! Oof!
Kitty (pained moan)
Are you all right?
Thank you for saving me and my hair.
I...
Wait! Don't speak.
You're maxum man's sidekick!
Wow, what is somebody like you doing on my movie set?
I...
Wait. I honestly don't care.
Look, you're famous, I'm famous.
I need protection from fans
And a world famous sidekick is just the person I need.
What do you say?
I...
Wait. I need you. (Echoes)
Oh...
(Chuckle) that's my super sincere acting.
The girls all love it!
His eyes... So sincere!
Bodyguard? I don't know.
We don't really like doing things.
Any things...
I could give you money?
Fame?
Unlimited access to the buffet?
(Mouth full) you shir... Hab a deal.
The hair! Watch the hair!
Joshua, if I can't have you
I will have your sideburns.
(Shaver whirs) (chuckles evilly)
Ha ha!
Nice try, kitty!
But good luck getting to joshua when I'm on the job!
He's in a top secret location,
Guarded by level after level of high tech security
And watched over by my cr*ck security team!
(Trevor snores) (toilet flushes)
You've stopped me this time, eric.
But you have no idea what you're dealing with here.
I'm almost a teenage girl - and i. Am. A. Fan!
(Gulps)
I still love you.
What? What?
Oh josh, I knew you'd come around!
Who would have ever thought that you and i...
Oh, who am I kidding...
Joshua would never like someone like me!
Why did I go all the way to egypt
To dig up an actual mummy's tomb just for him!
Unless...
(Yawns)
Kitty joshua! It's really you!
I have a surprise for you!
You again! How did you get past security?
(Snoring)
Never mind that.
Um, do you always sleep in a coffin?
I always stay in character.
Always. I am dedicated to absolute realism.
Really? But your hair isn't mummy hair?
It's so...perfect.
What do you know about my hair?!
Who have you been talking to?!
Eric joshua! Joshua! Watch out!
(Fly buzzes)
Ahhhhh!
Phew. Close one.
That fly came this close to almost bothering you.
Yes. Thanks.
But what about that girl?
She's been nosing around and asking a lot of questions.
What girl?
Enough! I've got to get into character.
I thought you always stayed in character.
Joshua do you think turning into a year old mummy
Is easy?!
Easier than you might think. (Giggles)
Joshua (muffled struggles)
(Hammering)
He's mine! Joshua is all mine!
Hahahaha!
I mean...all cozy in there, joshie?
Joshua (muffled struggles)
Good.
Dude, this is the best job ever!
Burritos for breakfast,
Brunch, lunch, dinner and teatime. (Sips)
Hm... He's been napping for a while.
(Knocks) hello? Joshua?
They're ready for you on-set.
Wakey-wakey!
(Effort grunts)
Time to get serious.
Uh, by serious...
You really mean completely irresponsible and silly?
Yes, yes I do.
♪♪♪
(g*n blast)
(Laser blasts)
♪♪♪
(Buzzing)
♪♪♪
(expl*si*n)
(Pings like a pinball)
(Swoosh)
(Clinks)
(Cracks)
(Moans)
Ahgghhhh!
You are so professional!
Always in character! Let's go!
Uh...i'm sure make-up can fix that.
(Grunts)
Come on! Move it... Hurry up!
Mr. Hollywood.
That's probably not good.
Mummy arghhhhhhhhh!
Hmmm?
Hm.
Hmmm?
Hmm...
I may be way off base here,
But I don't think that's joshua...
Aghhhhh!
(Roars)
Aghhhhh!
Agh!
(Mummy roars)
Agh!
(Mummy roars)
Aghhhhhhh!
(Mummy roars)
Wha?
Aghhhhh!
(Pig squeals)
Aghhhhhhh!
Ohhhh, joshua,
We're going to be late for the fan club meeting!
Watch the hair! Watch the hair!
Don't worry, I'll make sure nothing happens
To you or your beautiful hair.
That's what my bodyguards were for!
Eric, trevor helllllpppppp!
Kitty! Help me!
Um, that's help us, dude.
Eric! Joshua!
Kitty!
Eric!
Joshua!
Eric kitty help!
Mummy (angry moaning)
(Crying)
(Mummy roars)
Eric! My true love!
What? What?
(Muffled) what?
I mean - I'll save you!
Hi-ya!
(Effort grunt)
(Laughs)
I'm safe!
Agh! (Objects clatter)
(Gasp)
Nooooooo!
Nooooooo!
Me!
Yes!
(Camera flashes) (sobbing)
Don't do that.
You're nothing but a hollywood phony!
I don't why I ever wanted to chronologically freeze you,
And keep you in my basement forever!
Oh, eric, I'll never abandon you again.
Not until the next teen-heartthrob anyway.
Guess I better clean this up!
Now...
Which mummy is which?
Hmmm?
(Sobbing)
Trevor hmmmm?
Hello. Somebody?
Anybody? Let me out.
(Sobbing) I'm a star!
Man and action!
I'm vana glama,
On the set of dusty's newest and greatest movie.
So dusty,
Tell me what it's like to be the new teen heartthrob?
(Muffled moaning)
Kitty dustyyyyyy!
(Vana screams)
Oh...
Well, I guess that's a wrap.
That's not funny.
♪♪♪
(Thunders)
Evil...
It's dark... It's powerful...
And time for you to experience it first hand
With the sidekick-henchman student exchange program!
You'll have a blast!
(g*n powers up, blasts)
Ahhhh!
(Laughing)
Sign up for the student exchange program now!
(Objects clatter)
Ahhhhh! Oof!
(Chuckles)
Zo, who vill be zis year's lucky exchange student?
Uh-uh. (Gasp)
I'll do it! I'll go!
I-will-go-right-now. (Laughs)
Pickme-pickme-pickme!
(Teeth chattering)
Vell, I vas going to pick herr needles,
But since he's not here today, I'll pick you,
(Gulps)
I pick you!
(Nervous whimper)
No!
Oh, ze fun you'll have,
Ze things you'll see and ze pain you'll endure.
(Sucking whoosh) waaaaaa!!!
(Machine belches)
Vell, there's no turning back now!
Nice! My disguise worked!
Pamplemoose needles, you're here!
You can go after all! (Laughs)
But you said there's was no turning back.
No turning baaaaack!
(Machine belches)
(Blach)
(Henchman growl)
Of course pamplemoose would send you.
(Sighs) well, students,
Let's welcome our exchange student from the (spits)
Sidekick academy, eric needles.
(Sniffs) you not midge.
No, he's not midge.
She's at the (spits) sidekick academy
For her exchange day.
But he's not just any sidekick,
He's maxum man's sidekick, aren't you, eric?
Maxum man? Never heard of him!
Never even met him!
(Quieter) that last part's actually true.
Okay, a little personal space here!
Mandy leave him alone!
Or do I have to put my foot down?
(Heavenly choir sings)
Mandy?! (Impact grunt)
Mandy, I forgot you were a student here!
See? She knows me.
And likes me. Right?
Just don't look anyone in the eyes.
Or the feet.
Actually you should just look at your own feet
And think happy thoughts until this is over.
Okay.
Pamplemoose students, zis is midge, a hench-girl.
It says here to keep fingers and toes away from her face.
It's not that we don't like you 'cause you're different...
It's 'cause you're evil and different.
The sidekick academy welcomes you with open arms!
(Huge belch)
Ew!
Master xox oh! There's the do-gooder superhero.
Take him down!
And more importantly,
Wipe that smarmy smile from his face.
Robot I am generic superhero!
Henchmen beware!
Norbert! Go!
Ha! (Fighting grunts)
Huh? Ahhh!
You have failed me!
Ethan, destroy the superhero scum!
(att*ck grunt)
(Robot whirs)
Oof!
Oh.
Normally we're way better than this.
(att*ck yell)
(Pained grunts, screams)
No we're not.
Oh, come on, is that all you've got?
Eric master xox, sir...
Um, maybe we should all att*ck... Uh...
You know, together?
What?
Not one after the other?
Explain yourself!
Well, that way he'll have to fight us all at once, right?
Henchmen always att*ck one at a time.
It in the handbook that me no read!
(Evil chuckle)
Yeah, that's not creepy at all.
Eric's right!
Come on, let's kick some superhero butt... Together!
(Bugle call)
(Whooshing)
Hi-ya! Take that!
Cannot compute.
(Fizzles) duel att*ck...
Not in handbook...
Take that!
(Fighting grunts)
(Powers down) evil wins...
Wow. That's never happened before.
Nice work, eric.
(Laser powers up and blasts)
Pamplemoose good reflexes!
Nice flippink!
Not bad, trevor!
Your thick skull is good for somethink!
You, henchman. Your turn.
(Blasts)
Now that was pathetic.
And I know pathetic - see needles comma eric.
Pamplemoose zat vas pathetic.
Class! You vill take five!
Vana, help zis henchman!
(Sighs) step one to becoming a successful sidekick...
Makeover! Unicorns!
What? What?
What?
You are so not better than me.
Alrighty, henchman!
What is the best way to dispatch a superhero?
Good! Prolong the suspense!
Ooh! Excellent!
Give him some time to contemplate his fate.
Loving the imagination, people!
Eric!
(Nervous) um... Hit him with something hard,
And you know... Actually defeat him?
You're gonna chop off his feet?
No, defeat him.
Hm. He gets hit. Goes down.
No time to plan his escape.
So simple, yet so brilliant!
Presenting... The new midge!
(Howls like a wolf)
(Glass shatters)
Uh...
(Panting)
She could still use a little work on the etiquette.
(Chuckles)
(Snarling)
Down midge!
Hel-lo handsome!
(Fighting grunts, trevor chuckles)
Trevor I think she likes me!
Enjoying your lime rickey?
(Slurping)
Maybe.
I'll get right to the point.
You impressed me out there, eric.
I did?
You remind me of my younger self.
Even your evil slurping takes me back.
Eric, I want to take you under my wing.
To mold you into the perfect henchman.
You want to mold me under your wing?
All this could be yours!
(Chandelier shatters)
All you have to do is come over to the not-bright side.
You mean, the dark-
(Clucks like a chicken)
My grand plan to inv*de the (spits)
Sidekick academy,
Will bring down that affront to all
That is evil once and for all!
Eric, I want you to lead the invasion!
Me? But-but I'm a good guy...
Aren't i?
But how can I turn against my school...
My friends... And maxum man?!
If they really care about you,
They'll want you to follow your true calling!
But how do I know being a henchman is my true calling?
Well, were you a great sidekick?
Hmmm...
Oof!
Ahhhh!
(expl*si*n)
(Splat) agh.
(Pained moans) help!
(Grunts)
Point taken.
But what about all those wonderful times
I had at the sidekick academy?
Oof!
Oh!
(Blast, expl*si*n)
Wait, I never had any wonderful times at the sidekick academy!
It's a lot more fun here!
You don't have to work as hard,
And the accolades-to-beatings ratio is much higher!
The invasion is on.
(Evil laugh)
(Grunts) (clicks his teeth)
She touched me! Without hitting me!
I'm never washing again... Again...
Okay, another to to becoming a successful sidekick
Avoid trevor!
And never ever touch him!
(Sniffs and winces)
(Loud crash)
Vat a mess!
Eric, zis is definitely going on your permanent record.
Where I go to school now,
Breaking glass actually gets you extra credit!
He's gone over to the not-bright side!
And now, my former friends who I still really like,
But can't associate with because I'm evil now...
It's time to surrender!
Eric, how could you?!
You vere always my favourite shtudent...
Not really.
And you were always my favourite pummeling bag!
I've always loved you!
There, I've said it!
I've been keeping it hidden for so long,
But now I feel like I could fly!
Do I look cool in this headband or what!
Did you say something?
(Sighs)
I want a ninja headband!
Prepare to rue the day you ever pummeled,
Pitied and/or laughed at me!
Mandy, let's bring this dump down!
(Gasps)
(Whimpers)
(Gasps)
Pamplemoose (blows whistle)
Okey-dokey! The exchange program is officially over.
Ha? What?
Let's all give midge a big goodbye!
(Wild cheering)
(Excited laughter)
Au revoir, mon cheri!
I will miss your grunts,
And the way you ate anything put in front of you.
Look, her flower droppings!
Too bad your plan to att*ck the school
And wreak revenge on all your - what did you call them?
Oh ya, your "so-called friends
And assorted losers that stink
And you can't stand and that are bad at sports,
And can't sing and oh yeah they smell...
And stink." Bye!
Call me!
And good riddance!
Wow, am I glad they're gone.
Those henchmen are the worst!
(Angry growls) aren't they?
It was a class assignment!
I was rehearsing a play!
I got amnesia!
(Pained grunts)
Wow, it sure is great to be back!
(Pained grunts)
01x21 - Teenage Mummies in Love / Henchman for a Day
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Series is about an orphan boy named Eric, with his best friend Trevor and his two female friends, Vana and Kitty, who are training to become superhero sidekicks at the Academy.
Series is about an orphan boy named Eric, with his best friend Trevor and his two female friends, Vana and Kitty, who are training to become superhero sidekicks at the Academy.