♪ We are splitsboro kids
♪ And we go to sidekick school
♪ Learning to be second best
♪ While playing by the rules
♪ Maxum man is missing
♪ Now we rule the school
♪ Flyin', smashin', bashin' stuff ♪
♪ And lookin' super cool
♪ I'm a sidekick, sidekick
♪ That's the life for me
♪ Half-sized superzeros
♪ With full-sized hero dreams
♪ I'm a sidekick, sidekick
♪ What an awesome gig
♪ Just like superheroes (just like superzeroes)
♪ But only half as big
♪ Sidekick!
♪♪♪
(Loud expl*si*n)
(Hissing and coughing)
What?!
You've never heard massive explosions
Coming from the bathroom before?
Move along!
(Whispers) eric, are you done yet?
(expl*si*n)
Boom means done!
After hours of hard labour,
With a short hour and minute break,
My valentine for vana is finally done!
Get it? It's me and vana.
Hmm...
I see you and a lump of garbage...
So two lumps of garbage.
Trevor, valentine's day is a day of love.
This humble valentine will win vana's heart.
Kitty oh, eric, that is so romantic!
(Angry) except the part about vana!
Thanks, kitty.
Just wait 'til you see me and this card in action!
Boys (panting and whistling)
(Sighs)
This is gonna hurt.
I can't watch.
(Chuckles)
That's better.
Vana, I have a valentine card for you!
Hey! What was that for?
(Evil chuckle)
(Cocks flower bouquet, powering it up)
Unlike your crazy ideas,
Valentine's day in splitsboro
Is a day of w*r!
A day when you must use your valentine weapons
To fight and win the love of that girl
Who doesn't even like you...
And possibly get you girl cooties.
Let the valentine carnage begin!
Kitty eric!
You don't have to be a super fighting valentiner.
You can receive a valentine instead.
From someone special, someone close to you,
Like right in front of you...
Right now... Smiling at you.
Eric, would you be my val-
(Laughing)
Right!
Someone's gonna give eric a valentine!
Eric!
(Laughing)
Unlikely!
But if they do,
I hope they know I'm allergic to chocolate,
Carnations and cologne.
(Kitty groans with disappointment)
So, if I win this contest,
Vana has to be my valentine?
No refuseys?
Awwwwwwesome!
If you win. Big if.
And if you have a valentine.
That's right. No card, no vana.
(Bouquet w*apon powers)
(Thorns whoosh, laughing evilly)
(Gasps) agghhh!
Ow, ow, ow!
(Evil laugh)
It's you or the card, eric. You or the card!
Or both! I can't count!
(Whirring)
No one's getting this card from me!
No one!
Uh, except vana...
(Panting)
(Pained yelping) yeeeeow!
Nooooo!
Oh, brother!
I won! I'm vana's valentine!
Uh, dude?
(Giggles) I like it.
(Squeals)
I'm gonna get so pummelled.
Yup. Love hurts, dude.
So does hate.
Now, here's the battle flow chart.
You'll have to go through all these people
Before you can win.
Hey! Look! I can lick the back of my knees!
Yuck!
(Sizzles)
Mmm... Super cinnamon hearts!
Yum.
I guess your next battle is starting.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
(Whooshing)
Finn! You're fighting for vana too?
Sorry, eric.
But her perfume is like fish food
For my people.
(Whooshing)
Aggghhhhhhh!
(Frames crackle)
Aggggghhhh! (Blowing on it)
Owwwww!
Nice skid marks, eric!
Now, protect that card!
I'll take care of the candy!
(Gulps)
(Farts)
Wicked!
I'll take it from here, trevor!
(Chuckles)
This is all for you, vana.
Oh, goody.
Unnnnnggggghhhh! (Gulps)
(Steam hisses)
(Huge belch)
Okay, you win.
It wouldn't have worked out anyway.
You think?
I won! (Laughs)
That was the lamest fight ever!
Where's the action, the drama, the explosions,
The robotic dolphin-punching, the hair-pulling?!
Allan amazing perhaps, I can be of service?
It's allan amazing!
Crowd (oohs and aahs)
Kitty (angrily) delivery for eric!
Stand back, people.
Ow!
(Sighs) it can wait.
Take this!
A teddy bear?!
I guess we're gonna do this the old-fashioned way.
(Caveman grunt, chewing rocks)
Not that old fashioned...
Oh. (Belches)
Ha! I have your valentine!
You lose!
Mr. Cuddles, att*ck!
(Snarls)
(Chomps)
Ow!
Get him!
Whoa! Agh!
And, to finish this off,
I believe you had a request, dear vana?
Mr. Cuddles, pull his hair!
(Mr. Cuddles snarls ferociously)
Aghhh!
(Giggles and claps)
(Screams)
Mr. Cuddles, use your secret w*apon now!
Aghhhh!
(Pained grunt)
Oh man, bear hugs are the best!
Soak in the love, eric!
Too. Much. Love.
(Panting) there!
How do you like it?!
(Cries like a baby)
No one has ever hugged mr. Cuddles back before!
Mr. Cuddles loves hugs!
Aw! Here you go, little buddy.
You furry fool, att*ck! att*ck!
Mr. Cuddles thinks you need hugs!
(Snarls ferociously)
Allan amazing agh! Not the face! Not the face!
(Screams)
Yes! Another win!
A weird slash creepy slash totally lucky win,
But I'll take it.
Hey, vana, did you see?
(Chuckles) mmm.
Hey! No way.
Kid ruthless didn't win a battle.
Stand down, kid!
(Laughing)
Oy, needles, you gonna give me a paper cut?
(Beep)
Agh!
Agh! Agh! Agh! Ahh!
(Snaps fingers)
(Clapping)
♪♪♪
Eric, take notes for next year.
This is how you make a valentine!
Enough!
I get it!
Vana what? Cupid what?
What?
What?
(Whinnies)
Whatever!
Ahem.
In splitsboro,
Valentine's are supposed to sh**t lasers and explode,
Or are made out of indestructible alien metal
Or cute but deadly woodland creatures!
But my card means something!
It's handmade with love...
And glue!
You're right, eric.
Valentine's day shouldn't be about fighting
And destruction -
That's every other day.
Here. This is for you.
Kitty...
Eric, would you be my valen-
Thanks!
Agh!
I'll take that.
Happy v-day, kid!
Aggghhhhhhhh!
Agggghhhhhhhh! (Beeping)
(Arrows whoosh)
(Arrows ping) agggghhhhh!
Agghhhh! (Farts)
I love you, bruther!
(Thunks on ground, eric moans)
I love you!
I love all of you!
Muah! Muah!
(Stampeding footsteps, screaming)
That means... I'm the last valentiner!
Ha! Ha! I win!
Kitty, thank you so much...
For giving me that card
And making vana my valentine.
Yes, well, that's what I meant to do.
For sure. No doubt about it.
My heart is shattered. You're welcome.
Eric vana...
Will you be my valentine?
Ewww!
(Bell rings)
(Gasps)
(Valentines poof)
Oh, look! Valentine's day is over!
So sad. Maybe next year, eric.
Bye.
Thhhhpppppptttt!
Unnnnnggggghhhh! Agh!
That was the best seven seconds of my life.
I miss her so much.
Ow! What was that for?
It's almost easter, eric,
And I want to help you be prepared this time -
(Under her breath) and dish out a little payback.
Come on, super bunny.
Let's teach eric what a splitsboro easter
Is all about!
Aghhhhh!
Help!
Are there any super holidays where I don't get hurt?
Kitty no!
(Groans)
(Engine revs)
Maxum man sidekick lesson :
The history of the sidecar.
Since the dawn of time,
Supers have needed a way to move fast
Without their sidekicks slowing them down!
(Sighs)
(Chuckles)
As time went on,
Sidekick "tag along" technology got much better.
(Slide clicks)
(Slide clicks)
(Slide clicks)
(expl*si*n) agggghhhhh!
Whoo-hoo-hooo!
Aggggghhhh-ungh!
Agh!
And now, we have the sidecar!
All ooh...
This is awesome!
Dude, riding a hog is my specialty!
(Pig squeals)
I even borrowed these racing gloves
From dad's sock drawer.
(Odor hisses, flies buzz)
(Sniffs)
Pretty sure those are socks.
Hmm.
So that's why my toes feel all finger-y.
(Coin clinks)
Und now we ride the sidecar!
(Whirs)
All oooh...
(Air hisses)
(Disappointed groans)
We just sit in the lame sidecar?!
(Snarls)
Agggghhhhh!
I'm guessing that's a yes.
Behold its awesome power!
(Engine roars)
Sweeet!
This is gonna be the most awesome
Speed adventure ever!
Aghhhhh!
(Tires squeal)
(Sighs)
(Snoring)
(Panting)
(Groans)
(Paint sloshes)
Booooring!
Kitty are you kidding? Eric huh?
Feel the wind in your hair!
Woo-hoo!
(Yawns) professor,
When do we get off this slow, uncomfortable,
Barely moving box with wheels
And ride the crazy awesome bike?
I wanna go fast!
(Motorcycle engine revs)
Never! You are a side-kick.
This is the side-kick academy.
This is a side-car.
Side is everywhere.
You should have seen this coming.
I've got a plan to speed things up.
(Drill whirs, blow torch hisses)
Ta-da!
Yes!
You girls comin'?
Riding in a potential death trap
With you two driving
Is not at the top of my list
Of things to do.
Or at the bottom. Or even on the list.
Suit yourselves.
Hey, pampy!
What?!
Who's the sidekick now?
(Chuckles)
Go!
(Screaming)
(Car zooms by)
This is awesome!
Aggghhhhh!
Ow!
Aggggghhhh! (Crash)
They're dead. Fo' sho'.
This is the most awesome thing
I have ever done in my life!
Oh man, we're going fast.
You think we've left splitsboro yet?
I'd say we're closer to france.
Now, I think we're in russia?!
My turn to grab a prize!
Ungh!
What kind of a made up animal is this?
(Koala growls viciously, trevor screams)
Eric this is how sidekick's are supposed to travel.
Trevor there is absolutely nothing that could make me
Get off this awesome ride!
I gotta go to the bathroom. (Groans)
You shoulda went before we left!
(Groaning)
Hey, you know what we totally should have installed?
A diaper?
Brakes.
I'll just stop it the old-fashioned way!
(Skidding)
(Flames whoosh)
(Gasps) hey, I need those!
Cool! Now I'm hairy like grandma.
Here they come!
(Car roars by)
Eric make...
It...
Stop!
Professor, you have to help eric!
He's so pretty!
What? What?
(Groans) got to go!
What sidecar doesn't have a bathroom?!
It should work...
Or the reverse polarity may cause the earth
To rotate backwards and reverse time.
Whatevs.
As long as they crash, I'm happy.
(Sidecar whooshes by)
Go!
(Magnet hums)
Maybe it won't be so bad
Rocketing around the earth forever!
My teeth are poking my brain!
(Energy hums, tires screech)
(Panting)
Trevor! We've stopped!
Agggghhhhhhhh!
Pamplemoose and if my calculations are correct,
The sidecar will stop here in ... ... ...
(Loud crash)
Or not.
Recess!
Yay!
(Engine roars)
What do you think happens
When you travel this fast in reverse?
Trevor dunno.
Probably rains hamburgers.
(Whooshing)
(Roars)
(Rewinding sounds)
Agggghhhhhh!
(Rewinding sounds)
Trevor I knew it!
(Rewinding sounds)
Agggghhhhhhh!
(Rewinding sounds)
Yes! You girls coming?
Riding in a potential death trap
With you two driving
Is not at the top of my list
Of things to do.
Or at the bottom. Or even on the list.
Suit yourselves.
Hey, you ever had a feeling of deja vu?
Nah. I don't like sushi.
Go!
Eric agggghhhhhh!
Trevor oh man...
Eric what?
Trevor I gotta pee.
02x28 - Love Fights / A Sidecar Named Desire
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Series is about an orphan boy named Eric, with his best friend Trevor and his two female friends, Vana and Kitty, who are training to become superhero sidekicks at the Academy.
Series is about an orphan boy named Eric, with his best friend Trevor and his two female friends, Vana and Kitty, who are training to become superhero sidekicks at the Academy.