01x31 - Coachnik

[bunniefuu]

[CLOCK TICKING] [ALARM]

♪ ♪ ♪

Sonic, I hardly ever get to help you with

Scratch and Grounder.

Hey, next time you can help!

Really?

Great!

'Course that probably won't be for a long time!

He's coming! Now, don't do it too soon.

Listen for my count.

I'll say one, two, three - and then GO!

That's when I pump out an oil slick and he loses traction!

Right?

Right --and while he's skidding I deep-fry him with this!

Ready, One, two, THREE!

Grounder, THREE!!

THREE!!!

You're supposed to say "Go"!

No, no, you duncebot, I say three then YOU go

--oh, forget it, GO, GO!

Hey --'pttptptptptp!

Yeiii!

Hahahaha!

When they perfect their timing, they'll be the greatest comedy

team on Mobius.

Aw, Tails, I' m sorry, bro.

Force of habit.

I swear, next time you'll have a lot to do.

Yeah. I bet.

I KNEW it!

I KNEW you tin- heads would find a way to slip up.

It was Grounder's fault!

You know I never slip up!

Scratch said to go when he said "GO!"

Then the whole plan just sorta...blew up in our faces.

You insolent junkpile, my plan was foolproof!

Too bad it wasn't moron-proof.

Well, we did our best.

True. Depressing, but true.

So the solution is to IMPROVE your dismal abilities.

Wh-what do you mean, improve our abilities?

Yikes!

I combine playbooks, game films, strategies...

Plenty of grit.

Nerves of steel.

And three hundred pounds of ham.

What kind of robot are you making?

What you two need is training discipline, in short,

COACHING.

You don't mean!

I DO.

Robots, prepare to meet The Coachnik!

Let's not waste any more time, men --I'm here to tell you why

your game is goin' down the tubes,

and what you gotta DO about it!

Oh, sorry, Doc.

We don't NEED coaching!

Nope.

Whatever it is, we don't need it.

I'll whip you into shape, turn you into lean,

mean, chasing machines who eat hedgehogs for breakfast..

Gee, that sounds great, if only I didn't have a tuneup

appointment.

You know, uh next week would be better,

I kinda pulled a tread -

[whistle blows]

I got some films I want you to see!

I like his style!

We're gonna win, baby!

Win!

Ugh!

These films are the property of the Robotnik Training League

and any other use is strictly prohibited!

Scratch: Hey, look --it's me and Grounder!

I think I remember this plan.

Huh!

Coachnik: Okay, halt the action!

You see what happened?

You X's Lost track of the O 'cause of all these other O's.

Ohhh!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

You shoulda been ready for that!

Me?!

What about you?

Heads up --here's another play that really went south on us.

Scratch, I'm getting dizzy!

Shaddap!

We got him cornered now!

Are we almost to the top?

No, we're almost TO THE BOTTOM!!!

I can't believe they fell for the old Statue of Liberty play!

I've seen enough.

Now I know these nitwits will never catch sonic.

These boys have potential, Doctor Robotnik -they just need

to get in shape!

Right, men?

Rkkkgght, Ckkkcch!

Tails: It's been a week since we've seen Scratch and Grounder.

Where do you s'pose they are?

I heard someone saw 'em HERE, at the old stadium.

Doin' what?

No one's used THIS place since Robotnik built

his fortress on the hill.

Kinda makes ya wanna take a look,

doesn't it?

Ya mean it?

I get to spy on 'em?

That's what teammates are for.

Just be careful, willya?

Aren't I always?

One, two, three, A THOUSAND-NINE!

One, two, three, A THOUSAND-TEN!

Huhn?

One, two, three, A THOUSAND-ELEVEN!

Coconuts: Hey, Hey, Hey, where's this Coachnik guy?

If YOU can make his team, so can I!

Coconuts, be smart, you don't wanna bea part of this.

[whistle blows]

All right, rookie, what makes you think YOU can catch

the Hedgehog?

You ready for this, Sonic?

They got a coach. They're in training!

For what?

Coconuts: For THIS! Grrrraaahhhh!

For that, he had to TRAIN?

It's Sonic! Get 'im!

We lose 'em yet?

Huh-uh! They're gaining!

Oh, they are, are they?

Rats.

The perfect spot to do the old paint-a-tunnel-on-the-cliff gag.

Only there IS a tunnel.

[whispering]

Hey, good thinkin', Tails!

Now, where'd they go?

Scratch, What's that?

Sounds like a train.

But it COULDN'T be!

I see that Sonic did some TRAINING of his own.

Don't worry, Doc, it's early in the season.

We learned a lot from this matchup.

We'll be ready next time.

Yeah, next time! Next time!

Next time, my foot!

Hand grenades.

Bombs, TNT, nitroglycerin, plastique,

dynamite, cherry bombs.

Every kind of expl*sive there is...

All condensed into one compact, incredibly powerful package -

The Long b*mb!

Let's just see how powerful this is!!

Now THAT'S what I call powerful.

Those robots don't HAVE to catch Sonic now, just get this b*mb

within FIVE MILES of him!

All I have to do is sneak the Long b*mb

into one of the robots.

Sonic will never know what hit him!

OOOOFFFF!

Whew!! Coachnik?

Y-Y-Y-Y-You OK, Doctor?

Hey, what's that?

Mind your own buiness!

And what is this banana brain doing here?!

The kid showed a lotta moxie today,

Doctor Robotnik.

But he needs weight-training.

Who, me?

Start pumpin' iron, kid.

Come on, Doctor let him do his stuff.

OK. If this is what it takes to cream Sonic, I'll do it.

All wight, I ahm de azistant veight coach.

I ahm heah to bump up your muzzelss!

Coachnik didn't tell me -

Vut kind of girlie vorkout is diss?

If you vant to be stwong, you heff to use a lodd more veight!

Nnnggh!

I don't think I can lift.

Oooff!

Nnnrrgghh!

I'll be bahk.

Unnrrghh!

Remembuh.

Iff dere iss no pain.

Dere iss no gain!

Then I am DEFINITELY gaining.

Men, clumsiness leads to injuries.

By sheer luck, I just ran into a guy who can fix that.

They're all yours, Ballet Master.

Ballet?

Da, ballet!

I shall show you how to move veeth style ond grace!

Hey, pal, we're PLENTY graceful.

Ouch!

Bozhemoi! Such a klutz!

Me?!

He's the one who rammed his nose into my finger.

Silence!

You veel learn ballet!

You dolt.

You're just lucky the Coachnik thinks we need you.

This is not whait I call lucky.

Da, very good!

Now is comink the leeft!

Leeft up Svon Queen!

Mnngggghhh!!!

Ballet is runnink into owertime.

Speed eet up. Speed eet up.

Fahster! Fahster! Keep time veeth the music!

Fahster, fahster!

Heeyy!

Watch where you're going!

GROUNNNNN-derrrrrrrrr!

Oh, no!

Da, ees wery sad endink to ballet.

C'mon sonic, let me do something.

Let me spy on Robotnik!

On Robotnik?

I don't think so!

But, we're a TEAM, aren't we?

Well, sure, but -

Thanks, you won't be sorry!

He gets more like me every day.

But I can FLY.

I'm the Swan Queen!

Coachnik, you're wrecking these robots

faster than I can fix them!

Ah, it's just a few dings and dents, Doctor Robotnik.

Wait'll you see how fast Grounder does

the obstacle course.

Ready, Coachnik!

Go!

I think I'm gonna b*at my record!

Funny, this row of tires seems longer than last time.

I'm really gettin' tired!

Duhhh!

Grounder, how many times I gotta tell ya?

To win, ya gotta keep your head!

Oh, right!

Duh, hey, you in the truck, come back with the rest of my player!

Ah, the two-minute warning.

The perfect hiding place for my long b*mb.

What's going on, Doctor Robotnik?

None of your business!

Oh, sorry.

Good thing there aren't a lot of brains in there taking up room.

Another player on the injured- list.

Relax, Doctor.

I'll have all three back in the game in no time.

You better.

I only need them for two minutes.

Why only two minutes?

JUST HUMOR ME, OKAY??

I gotta warn Sonic!

I don't know what he hid there, but where's the last place

you'd look for somethin' valuable?

In Grounder's head.

I see what ya mean.

OK, let's find out what it is.

Sonic's team is coming onto the field, unaware

my Long b*mb will blow up everything within miles.

And here I sit, precisely . miles from ground zero,

ready to enjoy an exciting, if brief, battle!

Remember what I told you about keeping your head,

Grounder.

Guess the first move's up to them.

OK, Tails, time for some teamwork!

Ooof!

That's unnecessary roughness!

It's only necessary when it happens to Sonic!

But wait, who's that coming onto the field?

It's Grounder!

OK, let's see what's in your head.

That's a personal question!

Attaboy!

Never lose your head!

No, no, no, run the other way, idiot!

Let him have it!

Have a nice trip!

Sonic, are ya clear?

You take it, Tails!

Huh?

Why does Robotnik have a timer in here?

Maybe cause it's a time b*mb?

A time b*mb?!

A time b*mb?!

Gaaah! Throw it back to Sonic!

Phew!

Auuggh!

I said throw it to Sonic!

I DID!

Whooo!

Oh no!

Whats the matter with you guys?

Don't let him palm that thing off on ya!

Aaaaaagggghhh!

Hey, whaddaya doin'?

Cut it out!

C'mon, Tails, we're outta here!

No, not here!!!

Not my fortress!

Hey, Doctor Robotnik, ya made it!

Uh, what's that little grain in your hand?

Say, did I ever tell you my story about winning one

for the Blipper?

[expl*si*n]

Some teammate I am.

Thinkin' Robotnik hid something GREAT in Grounder.

How dumb can I be?

Hey, the way you flashed on that thing bein' a b*mb,

I tell ya, Tails, I'm glad you're on MY team.

Ya are?

Doctor Robotnik, what happened to Coachnik?

I gave him the boot, that's what.

We'll see who gives who the boot!

OOOOOFFF!

Yeowww!

Hey, what's the idea?!

Coahnik: I'm putting my foot down!

Owchhh!

Robotnik: Penalty! Call the Referee!

Somebody find his off-button!

Time out!

Look at those goofballs!

Forget them, Tails. Stretching and warming up before a game

can keep you from getting injured.

Hike!

[struggling]

Ow ow ow! I pulled a muscle in my leg!

Yay! Touchdown!

Nice run, little bro!

Stretch before and after your exercise!