01x51 - Lifestyles of the Sick and Twisted

[bunniefuu]

[CLOCK TICKING] [ALARM]

♪ ♪ ♪

Where is that stinking letter?l Scratchl Grounder!

I'm expecting a letter from Throbbin Screech saying

I'm on his TV show! Where is my mail?

Coming, Your Mustachedness, coming!

Ooh!

Pain!

I should be the one to bring it -I mugged the mailman!

Yeah, but I stole all his mail!

Just hurry up!

This time I know I'll get on "Lifestyles of the Very Good."

I'm gonna be a TV star!

I have the letter!

But why should Throbbin want you on his show?

He usually gets interesting people...

I'm interesting!

I'm fascinating!

Scintillating, even!

Right?!

Oh, uh, uh, yeah... Uh, I forgot.

Here you go, Your Sizableness.

Dr. Robotnik. I got it for you...

No one else, me.

I'll get it myself.

Oh, it's from the show! It's from the show!

I'm gonna be on TV!

What?!

"You want to be on my show?

The answer is no, no, no.

Maybe? Nope! Never!

Love, Throbbin Screech, Lifestyles of the Very Good."

Dr. Robotnik!

Throbbin Screech is on!

It's showtime!

Silence!

We're not watching his show!

We hate his show!

No we don't!

It's our very favorite!...Oof!

We'd rather watch reruns of "Bart The Barfy Bumblebee"

any day!

Yecch! I don't feel so good.

Now that's what I call educational TV!

All right, I can't stand it!

I have to see who Screech could've possibly picked

instead of me.

Greetings to most of you.

Ladies and Gentlemen, today on "Lifestyles of the Very Good,

it's: Sonic the Hedgehog!

As a rule, you're all way past cool.

Sonic the Hedgehog?!

That's supposed to be my show!!

Ahhhhhhhh!!!

We followed Sonic around for a week with our cameras,

and this is what we saw!

Wah!

Ahh!

Just goes to show you!

Speed always beats stupidity!

Shall we see another, audience?!

[cheers]

Enough! I've had enough!

He was talking about us?

He's in big trouble!

Sonic's in monstrous trouble!

And I'll show Robin Screech a real personality: mine!

I'm gonna catch Sonic right on his show!

And all of Mobius will see it!

[rooster crows]

Morning, sleep well?

Oh, pretty well, thanks. You?

Mmmm... Not bad, considering.

Ready --go!!

Out of my way!!!! -Oof!

Throbbin Screech is coming here to film me!

Why would Throbbin Screech want you on his show,

Your Miserableness?

He thinks you're an egg-belly slo-mo!

He wants me, because I am provocative and fascinatingl

That's two great things.

Not one great thing and an okay thing,

or one good thing and a so-so thing.

It's two great things!!!

Hmm.

There must be some other reason...

Okay, well...

I kidnapped Throbbin Screech's niece.

That's the ticket!

Now Screech will have to let you on his show!

Screech comes here, sees the Niece,

boom, you're on his show.

You trap Sonic on National TV, boom,

Mobius is yours.

To recap --boom, boom, you're done.

You are an evil genius, Doctor Robotnik!

And finally everyone will know it! If I'm lucky it'll lead

to a late night talk show... or even better...

an infomercial!!

And how are you feeling today?

You wanna know how I feel?

I'll show you how I feel:

I just love kids.

Give me back my niece.

Not until I go on your show.

Utterly ridiculous.

You're not going on my show.

Oh, yes I am.

Look at my monitor..

Hi, Uncle Throbbin. Love your show.

Morn says hi. It's awful hot in here!

Now what'd'ya say, Throbbin?

"Goodbye Niece" or "Hello Robotnik!"?

Would it be all that wrong to let my niece be dipped in lava

just to keep you off my show?

I won't just "dip" her, I'll dunk her.

Slam dunk.

Two- handed reverse.

All right, I'll do it.

Scratch!

Grounder!

You hear that?

I made it, I'm on TV!

I'll get my crew.

You'll use mine!

Remember, I have complete creative control now!

No!

Yes!

Okay, Ratchet, Pounder, get the camera-

That's Scratch and Grounder.

Yeah, whatever let's get started.

That's the spirit!

I can't wait to check out Throbbin Screech's show today!

Of course, it can't be as good as yesterday, when I was on.

Where is that husky madman?

Robotnik to the set! Robotnik to the set!

Robotnik to the set! Robotnik-

So --how do I look?!

Wooo, did you know you have a dead cat on your head?!!

I look fantastic and you know it!

Okay, Screech: Lights!!! Camera!!! Robotnik!!!!!

I may become ill here.

"Lifestyles of the Sick and Twisted.

What's that?

What's going on?

Today we have the worst, most disgusting guest of all time.

Is your niece fond of lava, Screech?!

That's Robotnik's voice!!!

I meant to say that today we have the... uh,

one of a kind, Dr. Robotnik!

Thank you, Throbbin.

Don't you just love your new show --uh,

my new show-" Lifestyles of the sick & Twisted"?

Robotnik is cruisin' for some losin'!

Typical.

My full name is Dr. Ivo Robotnik.

Not that anyone's ever asked.

Throbbin: Well, Ivo -

Robotnik: You can call me the distinguished Doctor Robotnik!

Throbbin: Don't bet on it.

So, uh, what are you up to now?

Catching Sonic The Hedgehog.

Have you ever caught him?

Caught... uh, yes...

kept...

technically no.

Does that bother you?

Not at all- -but now, today, he's mine for good.

Right here on national TV, I will catch Sonic and be

rid of him forever! [evil laugh]

Oh, I'm really scared, Robuttnik!

Oh boy, Throbby, your audience is gonna love this!

It's my greatest invention ever!

Okay, Throbby, open 'em!

That's what you've been going on and on about?

This is not a "what"!

Don't call it a "what!"

It's my EGG-O-MATIC EVAPORATOR slash SONIC SMASHER.

It even has a cupholder for those long drives!

I know that lake.

Let's go, Tails, we're up over and gone!

I just love how he does that!

Coming Sonic, right behind you!

Well, not right behind you.

No one is ever right behind you.

Why are we hiding behind a cloud,

Dr. Robotnik?

We're setting a trap for Sonic.

He'll be here in seconds to save the fish.

He's a sucker for anyone in trouble.

You've never caught him before -why should this time

be any different?

Forget the past.

This trap is so great it has two parts.

Check out part one.

Hello, my fine fishy friends.

Take these for now.

That'll hold ya'til I can fill up the lake.

All I gotta do is figure a way to do that.

What are you gonna do, Sonic?

Live fast, think fast...

Act fast!

The least I deserve from that despicable creature is

a little cooperation!

Wait, there he is again!

Tails, I forgot to tell ya, stay here.

I'll be right back.

See ya!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

That hedgehog never stays still!

If I can't get Sonic, I'll grab his little buddy.

Then, when Sonic comes to save him,

the hedgehog will be mine!

Hey, that's me on this little TV!

Uh oh!

Helllllp!!!!

There you have it, folks.

Will Sonic save the fish?

Will Sonic save Tails?

Will Robotnik take over?

Will I get such high ratings that I'll keep Robotnik

on my show?

Will I keep asking such annoying questions?

Stay tuned!

One super Sonic meltdown coming down!

Hey, Tails, how's that for fast work?

Tails? Tails?!!

Whoahhhhh!

Tails?!?!

This means w*r, Robotnik.

Or at least one heck of a battle.

So, Tailsy, what would you rather have:

lava boiling your feet?

Or lava boiling your feet?

Tell me your choice you two-tailed little brat!

I was talking to Tails.

Save your breath Robotnik!

Sonic's gonna rescue us.

You're wrong, you two-tailed trouble maker.

Sonic will show up, but he won't save you.

Sonic won't save anyone ever again!

Once everyone sees me catch Sonic on worldwide TV,

the planet is mine!

Surprise, surprise. Look who's here.

Let everyone go, Robotnik.

And do it fast!

I'm waiittiiinnngggg!

Dream on, hedgehog!

Scratch, Grounder, take him prisoner!!

It doesn't really matter if you defeat my ridiculous robots.

Why's that?

Because.

Look at this.

Sonic!

Please, Sonic, ignore them, keep fighting,

the audience loves it.

I'm sick of a show about good people.

Bad people are much more interesting.

[cheers]

You're unbelievable, selling out your niece like that.

Hey, that's showbiz!

Sorry, Throb, but my buddy Tails is too important to me.

Robotnik, there's no way you can catch me.

So, if I give myself up, will you let the Niece and Tails go?

If I give up Tails and Screech's niece,

you'll surrender?

We're talkin' two for one.

Deal?

Deal!

Okay, Dr. Jerkniknik, I'm yours.

Oh, and that deal we talked about?

It's off.

I changed my mind.

It's a three for none.

Tails and the Niece?

No!

I'm keeping you, Tails and the Niece!

Not a smart move, Robotnik.

You know, Throbbin', I think everyone will watch my show

tonight: I'm broadcasting THE END of Sonic!

[gasps]

Sonic, this is your final hour, hour and a half tops.

Do you have a last request?

I request...a good make-up person.

A makeup person?

Yup, the best one in Mobius.

You don't want a chili dog or a baseball card

or a candybar, you want... a makeup person?

If I'm going out on national TV, I wanna be stylin'.

You're not my makeup person.

You're not even a person.

Just shut your trap and watch this.

Robotnik's orders.

Greetings Mobians, we're back with,

"Lifestyles of Robotnik Only."

Tonight we say goodbye forever to that goody two shoes,

Sonic.

And you'll get a great recipe for cherry egg pudding.

Don't worry, Tails.

I have a plan.

That's good, but will I miss the pudding recipe?

Before I send Sonic away, I'd like to sing.

I know all of Mobius has been dying for me to sing.

If they weren't dying before, this is really gonna k*ll 'em!

♪ Oh Sonic is in my dungeon, this TV show stars just me! ♪

♪ Now I can do some really bad stuff, ♪

♪ while Sonic watches helplessly! ♪

♪ After I do some bad stuff I'm certain I'll do some more - ♪

Ew!

♪ Then I'm gonna blow away Sonic, like a tiny, ♪

♪ useless spore! ♪

Sonic, I can't handle this.

We've gotta do something!!!

Chill, little buddy.

Remember, I always have plan.

And now, some of my favorite show tunes.

Hurry!

I can't take anymore of Robotnik's singing!

All right, Sonic, here's your makeup person.

Too bad she didn't use some make up on herself - uglyyyy!

Hi, I'm Heckuba, the makeup person.

I know!

I know!

Don't say it, "why don't I practice on myself?"

I hear it all the time!

Okay, hit it, Heckuba!

The makeup person is a locksmith?

Hey, showbiz isn't a sure thing,

it pays to have a back-up skill.

Besides, my face sure won't open any doors

[goony laugh]

Great job, Heckuba!

Now do yourself.

Okay, Heck, let's get you in these chains.

I sure appreciate your help.

Okay, Tails and the Niece, I'll unlock you,

but pretend you're still locked up until they take

Heck and me away.

Ssshhh. Act normal.

Let's go, Sonic.

Come on, makeup lady --grab your puffpads and let's go!

Greetings Mobians.

I am pleased to introduce my next guest.

Ladies and gentlemen - Sonic the Hedgehog!

[gasp]

Finally, Sonic in chains!

I'm so happy I could pinch you.

I think I will!

Eeewww!!!

What is this?!?!?!

Oh, I know! It's a nose, Dr. Robotnik.

Ewww...

I know it's a nose, but why do I have it?

Because you shouldn't force things,

and you did, and it came off?!

You take it!!!

Ahem!

Sonic?

Is that you?

It is you!

You are really smart --for a double-dealing egg-belly slomo!

That's not gonna be enough, Sonic.

I still have the Niece, and your little Tails.

Tails: Guess again, egg man!

Grounder, is the camera still on?

It's on!

Don't answer him, you fool!

Now he tells me!

Smile, loser, and listen up.

Since we're on national TV, say, "Sonic is my hero."

Never in a million years.

Sonic is not entirely ugly.

Say it!

Urn, Sonic always wins but...

Not good enough!

but I never try my hardest.

Okay, okay, Sonic is good and sometimes the word "very"

comes to mind.

Thank you. We're done.

There you have it, Mobians.

Sonic extends his undefeated streak,

and Robotnik, well, he's still an egg-belly slow-mo.

Best of all, I have my show back

--I mean, my niece back.

Join us next week on Lifestyles of the sick and er...

Lifestyles of the Very Good!

Ta ta!

Great show!

I hate that Hedgehog!

The only good thing about Robotnik's singing is...

This nasty playground vandalism will get us on

"Lifestyles of the Sick and Twisted" for sure!

Yeah! We'll be stars!

Now for "Lifestyles of the Very stupid", starring

Scratch and Grounder.

Stupid?!

Right!

Vandalism is very stupid!

And it's against the law!