01x02 - Becoming Carmen Sandiego (Part 2)

[bunniefuu]

[helicopter blades whirring]

[cell phone vibrates]

Player, not a good time.

[Player] Can't cite
the "no cellphone rule"

if you're not on campus.

- Taking a little field trip?
- What? How did you know?

Remember how I could never hack
past the jammers at your school

to triangulate your location?

Well, guess what.

Your phone suddenly
lit up on my dashboard.

It looks like you're currently
traveling en route...

- [radio beeps]
- Dude, hold that thought.

[man] Approaching drop point.
Assume your positions.

- Gotta call you back!
- [phone beeps]

[gasps] I don't have a parachute!

What are you waiting for?
Cats always land on their feet!

[screams]

[Carmen] Heads up!

[both grunt]

[wind howling]

Black Sheep?

Don't let go.

Are you out of your mind?

You just put your safety
and my entire criminal career at risk!

What will the Faculty do
when they discover

you decided to tag along on our mission?

Who cares? I'll be long gone.

[Tigress] Crackle! Let's move!

Stay here. I mean it.

[scoffs] Time to crash a caper.

[Countess Cleo] You are a chicken?

Chickens do not fly!

Who here thought it was a good idea
to make a mime a spy?

Fly the coop?

Black Sheep's run off with the others.

[Shadowsan groans]

We could have quite a mess on our hands.

Alert the Cleaners.

[theme music playing]

[gasps]

Casablanca.

I'm in Morocco.

[chuckles]

I made it to the real world.

Mission first, sightsee later.

[camera shutter clicks]

- [hammering]
- [machine whirring]

[man] Young lady?

It is quite late.
Do your parents know where you are?

I don't even know where I am.

What is this place?

An archaeological dig site,
where we search for links to our past.

You mean, like, dinosaur bones?

Anything historic.

If you've been following the news,

you'll know that
we just discovered a relic here

dating from a much more recent era.

The Eye of Vishnu.

My crew identified it just days ago

and are carefully unearthing it
at this very moment.

And you're not worried
about them stealing it?

Now, why ever would they do that?

My crew is well aware that a treasure
such as this belongs in a museum.

Treasure? As in, worth a fortune?

Some things possess value
other than monetary, young lady.

Any historic find such as this gem
belongs to everyone.

Its theft would rob the world
of knowledge,

and that would be a true crime.

I... I never really thought of it that way.

- [lights clicks off]
- [men gasping]

Pit crew, report, please!

Gray must have cut the power.

This is the caper!

[both grunt]

[grunts]

[yelps]

[grunts]

[kisses]

[rumbles]

[gasps]

Black Sheep?
But I thought you did not graduate.

Whoa, it's amazing!

Black Sheep! Stay away!
You'll ruin the mission!

You are in cahoots with them?

Uh, well, yes and no. It's complicated.

Stop, thieves!

- Out of my way!
- [Antonio] Crackle...

remember, leave no witnesses.

[both grunt]

Wait, what do you mean,
"leave no witnesses"?

[w*apon charging]

Gray! No!

No!

[gasps]

[whimpers]

Gray, what are you doing?
What is wrong with you?

I'll handle the runt!

[rapid beeping]

Oh, pussycat down.

She did not protect the face.

- Gray...
- Hey.

...what are you doing?

- Come on, now.
- Tell me!

[Carmen grunts]

[grunts]

[Boris] Back to VILE Island with you.

I thought I knew you
like the big brother I never had, Gray.

[train horn honks]

Until that moment.

What can I say?
Graduation was a game-changer.

[Dr. Bellum] Graduates...

you did not make it this far
on your grades alone.

We have been profiling you all along
to test your allegiance

as well as your willingness
to go to any necessary extremes.

No one or thing must stand
in the way of achieving our goals.

You've earned your place
at our elite table.

Now hear the true name of VILE:

Villains International
League of Evil. [echoes]

Evil.

[scoffs] My entire upbringing was a lie.

Stealing isn't a game.
It does harm people.

Especially when you're willing
to steal lives.

Ugh! So close!

- [tires screeching]
- [engine revving]

[cell phone vibrates]

What is it now, Ms. Argent? I am driving!

Inspector Devineaux,
the purported crime scene

is actually filled
with stolen goods of all kinds.

Cash, bonds, art.

What?

Was the apartment owner
not the robbery victim?

That's what I said.
So I did some fact-checking.

The owner on record isn't an individual,
but an import-export company.

But even more intriguing,

the places Carmen Sandiego
recently robbed,

the Swiss Bank, the art gallery in Cairo,
the Shanghai amusement park,

all have ties to the same company.

Ms. Argent,
what is it you are trying to say?

Well, what if, for whatever reason,

Carmen Sandiego were a thief
who only steals from other thieves?

[Devineaux grunts] No!

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
- [engine stalling]

[screams]

- [groans]
- [airplane whirring]

[Devineaux] Interpol! Official business.

I am commandeering this aircraft!

[Gray] Our journey's winding to a close.

And I'm not any closer to knowing
the story behind your chic new look

or your name.

[w*apon charging]

[sighs] I'll do my best
to cut to the chase.

Things were strained on my
forced return to the Isle of VILE.

Sure, I was on my best behavior,

but I still had to endure
Coach Brunt's guilt.

- I blame myself!
- [bones cracking]

And Dr. Bellum's surveillance.

And Countess Cleo's attempts
to tame my wild side.

And Professor Maelstrom's
freaky psych exams.

But the worst part?

I never felt more alone in my life.

The Cleaners had confiscated my phone,
my only lifeline to the outside world.

When the new school year began,

I pretended to throw myself
into my coursework.

But I was really just biding my time,

waiting for my moment to strike.

[thunder crashes]

December st.

VILE's bookkeeper was right on schedule.

My first escape attempt
may have been a dry run.

But this time,
I was really gonna bring the rain.

Travel light.

It confounds me that a device registered
to our mainland bookkeeping department

ever wound up in Black Sheep's
possession to begin with.

It confounds me that Black Sheep

never submitted the stolen property
for extra credit.

[lock clicks]

[line ringing]

[Player] Guten tag, Strudelhaus
of Düsseldorf. Can I help you?

[stammers] Yeah, I was looking for...

- It's me. I'm screening.
- [sighs] Player.

Where have you been?

Strange people have been answering
your phone.

It's not my phone. I stole it.

So you're a shoplifter!

And you haven't called me all summer long
because you've been in jail.

[exhales]

Player, remember when you told me
you used your wicked skills for good?

The white hat hacker's code.

What would you say if I told you
I had wicked skills, too,

from being raised in a school for thieves?

I'd say that would explain a lot.

[footsteps approaching]

[gasps] Don't go anywhere.

Player, I'm staring
at a hard drive containing data

that could fuel a criminal empire
for a year.

This may be my only sh*t to secure it.

Then use those wicked skills, already.

[Maelstrom] Booker, what is keeping you?

We are anxiously awaiting the upload!

Have you ever heard of weather, Gunnar?

I had to hang my wet things!

Gah! Missed it!

If anyone sees me take it,
I'll never make it off this island.

I need to avoid detection at all cost.

Aw, crud!

Mimosa Bombosa. What are you up to?

Stopping to smell the roses?

This is the most one-sided conversation
I've ever heard.

Shh, quiet!

Not you. Duh. [chuckles]

Okay, happy gardening.

All good.

It was just some creepy mime who hangs
around campus watching everything.

And everyone.

Because he's a spy and a snitch.

[gasps] Nobody likes a tattletale!

[Carmen grunts]

[grunts]

And don't even think
about picking the lock.

[panting]

[gasps]

[beeps]

Keycard-activated elevator.

If she makes it to the server room,
she'll upload the data.

So you can't let her see you
take the drive.

But if that elevator leaves without you...

game over.

Gotta think fast.

- [elevator dings]
- [gasps]

Oh, sorry about the scare, ma'am.

I'm an IT trainee,

and it's imperative that I check
the server room pronto

for, um, loose cables.

[elevator music playing]

My, you've grown.

Yes, I have.

Um, and with age comes maturity,

which is why I was so anxious
to catch you, Ms. Booker,

so we could talk somewhere private.

I... I just wanted you to know
how super ashamed I am

of all the really dumb pranks
I've pulled on you over the years.

I apologize.

I wondered about the absence
of a water balloon att*ck tonight.

First time in quite a few years.

I'll blame your unusual upbringing.

One can't be expected to behave honorably
when raised among thieves, after all.

Shake on it, Ms. Booker?

Call me "Cookie."

[elevator dings]

Young lady, you seem like a smart cookie.

If you wish to walk in my shoes someday,

set your sights higher
than pulling pranks or picking pockets.

White-collar crime
is where the real money is.

Thank you for the career advice.
I will take it to heart.

[Cookie] Arrivederci.

Children.

Huh?

Whatever can the problem...?

Bait and switch!

[alarm blaring]

Code red. They're onto me.

Player? Hello?

[groans] Signals are jammed.

Dr. Bellum, care to pinpoint
the origin of the code red?

The server room.

[Carmen panting]

My ride should still be waiting.

[grunts, groans]

No!

No!

[sighs]

It's past curfew.
All students are in their bunks.

Except for...

Black Sheep.

The girl must be punished.

Ugh. Hall monitors.

Gunnar, the child is certainly a menace,
but placing the entire island on lockdown?

The "child" may have compromised
VILE's income

for the entire coming year, thanks to you.

We must retrieve that drive!

Well, it's out of my hands now,

so please provide me
with clearance to leave.

Fine. Good riddance.

Thank you very much.
I'll just collect my coat and be off.

Whoa.

Code red.

[Maelstrom] Cleaners, our bookkeeper
has caused enough damage for one visit.

Allow her to vacate the premises,

or terminate her if the mood strikes you,
and I wouldn't complain.

[jangling]

- Ms. Booker?
- [gasps]

Until next year.

- Bon voyage.
- [remote beeps]

[Carmen] Arriverderci!

[sighs]

Any sign of her?

[banging on door]

[muffled shouting]

Cleaners!

She's nearly gone! Prepare air support!

[Maelstrom] Captain, be on alert.
The lady in red is no lady.

[Carmen grunts]

[Captain groans]

She will never outrace us by boat.

Pity.

[engine stalling]

[Boris] She does not miss a trick.

[panting] No.

Hmm.

[Shadowsan] Black Sheep!

[engine starts]

[grunts]

I pass, you fail.

- [Player] Hello?
- Player, I made it.

I'm off the island.

I need to know where on Earth I am.

Triangulating your position.

- [keyboard clacking]
- [beeping]

The Canary Islands.

A Spanish settlement
just off the coast of Western Africa.

It was an interesting place to grow up,

but it's time to see
the rest of the world.

No more bookkeepers, and no more VILE.

[Player] You'll need a passport.

And I don't think Black Sheep's
gonna cut it.

You do have a name, don't you?

It's... Carmen.

Carmen Sandiego.

Now, about this whole "white hat" thing.

Does it have to be white?

[Gray] End of the line.

We miss you, Black Sheep.

VILE wants a truce.

They want me stealing for them
instead of from them.

You've proven yourself.

It's all you ever wanted, isn't it?

Aha!

The league's offering you a full pardon.

Even Shadowsan's on board.

They'll make things right
if you just come home, where you belong.

I was hoping we'd end up
on the same side again tonight, Gray.

My side.

[sighs]

Still in a league of your own.

[w*apon charging]

Bye-bye, Black Sheep.

You weren't listening. I go by Carmen now.

[both grunt]

[chuckles] Fingerprint recognition.

[groans]

They never protect the face.

- [computer beeps]
- [exhales] Red. You're back online!

I miss anything juicy?

Nothing you don't already know.

Carmen Sandiego, you are under arrest!

[groans] No!

[rattles]

No! Not again!

[cell phone ringing]

Yes? What is it?

Inspector Devineaux,
we turned up something rather astonishing.

I believe it's the Eye of Vishnu
from the unsolved Morocco heist.

We found it between the couch cushions.

- Almost as if...
- Let me guess!

Almost as if Carmen Sandiego
wanted us to find it. [scoffs]

If our thief indeed
left such a treasure behind,

she must have gotten away
with something truly priceless!

[Player] Wait, seriously?
You didn't take the gemstone?

Total win-win.

I knew Interpol would get it back
where it belonged,

which left my hands free
to take the real treasure:

my oldest traveling companions.

Like an archeology find,
the only link I have to my past.

I have Gray to thank
for using them to bait me.

Now, did you wire the proceeds
from the Shanghai job

to the next non-profits on my list?

Food bank, homeless shelter, orphanage.

Check.

I even had time to decrypt the next entry.

Another secret VILE hideout,

located in Southeast Asia
on the island of Java.

[Carmen] Just when I thought
I was through with islands.

[sighs] Paris will be here.

We need to stay one step ahead of VILE
while we still have the advantage.

[Player] I'll book you a red-eye.

[engine revving]

Chief, we have Carmen Sandiego
in our sights.

♪ Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? ♪

♪ Sandiego ♪

[theme music playing]