01x04 - The Fishy Doubloon Caper

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

♪ Where in the world
Is Carmen Sandiego? ♪

♪ Sandiego ♪

♪ Where in the world
Is Carmen Sandiego? ♪

- [elevator bell dings]
- [Devineaux] No witness to question.

No thieving scoundrel in custody
and not one single red thread to pull.

I pursued Carmen Sandiego
all the way to Paris and back

with nothing to show for my efforts.

Eh, almost nothing.

I recommend reexamining the penthouse

Ms. Sandiego purportedly attempted to rob
here in Poitiers.

Did rob, Ms. Argent!

I watched our super thief
spirit into the night

with a stolen object
stuffed in her black sack.

That many mints can't be good
for an empty stomach.

Good night, Ms. Argent.

You may want to check your fuel...

Now.

[car engine chugging]

[growls]

[groans] It seems you were right.
I'm all out of...

Gas?

[groans]

[sighs]

Inspector?

Where in the world did you go?

[birds screeching]

[Player over radio] Hola, Red.
How's sunny Ecuador?

Oh, wet.

I'm sure you'll get to see more
of South America after your swim.

- [typing]
- Maybe even paddle further down

to Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Not sure I'm ready to visit my birthplace,

not without any real clues to my past.

What can you tell me
about the shipwreck we're looking for?

The satellite images I intercepted
show you're warm.

Just keep an eye out for the equator.

- It's a giant red line.
- [Carmen] Very funny, Player.

The equator's a giant imaginary red line

that divides our world
into northern and southern hemispheres.

[Player] Well, Ecuador sits
right on the equator,

and it looks like
the South American country

is known for two big exports:
bananas and tuna.

[Carmen] Huh, I wonder how
a banana-fish sandwich would taste.

Bet you didn't know the catch of the day
is always transported

up the Andes Mountains to Quito,

the second-highest capital city
in the world.

[Player] My nose is bleeding
just thinking about it.

But back down at sea level,

the th-century trading vessel
you're looking for

might have been transporting
Spanish doubloons when it sunk.

A big enough haul of these gold coins
could be worth millions today.

Which means there's a decent chance
the wreck is on VILE's radar.

With luck,
I'll secure any valuable artifacts

before VILE can scavenge them.

Are all hands on deck?

Surface crew is on high alert.

[gagging] Fish.

Oh, why'd it have to be fish?

[vomiting]

Motor off, no one on board.

[exhales] Creepy enough for you, Ivy?

Creepy enough to want a closer look.

Player, I found it.

Ha! I'm swimming through the past!

[Player] Any sign of treasure?

Tons, but not the kind
that would interest VILE.

Scratch that.

Player, see what you can learn.

[camera shutter clicking]

- [rumbling]
- [Player] Whoa, what am I hearing?

[rumbling continues]

You.

You?

[Player] Who was that?

El Topo.

And if the human mole is down below...

his pal, the human goat,
is sure to be above.

- [Le Chevre] Ha!
- Whoa!

[thuds]

[shouts]

Wow, that really just happened.

Who are you?
What are you doing out here?

We're, uh, fishermen.

Fisherwoman. Hello!

You do not sound or look
like you're from around here.

Well, uh, Boston Harbor
was getting really crowded, you see...

[gasps] Oops.

[gears whirring]

Come on. Seriously?

[yelps]

[shouting]

[beeping]

[Player over radio] Wrap it up, crew.
Carmen needs assist.

[beeps]

That would not be Carmen Sandiego,
would it?

- Carmen Sanfrancisco.
- Carmen Sanjose.

- Sanjose? Sanfrancisco!
- Sanfrancisco! Sanjose!

- Ivy!
- What?

- [El Topo] Help!
- Huh?

[El Topo] Help! [grunting]

[gasping]

Help! Ah!

Let's motor!

- [beeping]
- [Player] I have a bead on your tracker.

[Carmen] Keep a close watch.

We need to can a tuna.

[Carmen] Gracias.

He says his catch is already on its way
to Quito for auction

and our coin-swallowing fish with it.

For a fish out of water,
old yellowfin sure gets around.

[Player] Red, I've looked up
the image of the coin.

It's a doubloon, all right,
but it isn't Spanish.

It's called the "Ecuador escudos."

So it's an Ecuadorian doubloon?

It looks here like most coin hobbyists

know it as the "Moby d*ck doubloon."

[Carmen] Moby d*ck, like the book?

Why would a coin be named
after the famous whale?

Because it's the coin the Captain Ahab
character nails to the mast of his ship

as a reward to anyone
who spots the white whale

that keeps evading his capture.

[sighs] This doubloon is starting to feel
like a white whale of my own.

I'm sorry, were you speaking
of the Ecuador escudos?

You've heard of it?

Dr. Pilar Marquez.

I am an archaeologist leading
an excavation team to the shipwreck.

Well, if you happen to be looking for one,
you won't find it down there.

Not anymore.

What? How do you know?

[birds screeching]

You're not scavengers, are you?

Coin hobbyists. Amateur.

Then you may not realize that the escudos

was the first doubloon minted
here in Ecuador, in the s,

shortly after we became our own nation.

Only a mere handful were ever made.

Whoa! Must be worth millions!

[chuckles] Despite its rarity, the escudos
does not have high monetary value,

though it is of tremendous cultural value.

As a symbol of Ecuador's independence,

it remains one of the strongest links
we have to our past.

- Oh, well.
- Ah, the fish can keep it.

We'll find it for you.

[both] We will?

VILE has no idea
how much that coin is or isn't worth,

which means we need to secure it
before they figure out where it's headed.

[pulsing]

[beeping]

[groaning]

What is this?

You think these can hold me,
an agent of Interpol? [laughs]

No, no. No...

autographs, please.

[whirs]

[beeps, hums]

Inspector Chase Devineaux,
thank you for joining us.

Holographic projection,
the most secure method of communication.

Plus, the calls don't drop.

Who... Who are you?

Why am I here?

You can call me "Chief."

[beeping]

[Chief] And you are here
because I understand

you have recently come
into close contact

with a certain elusive Carmen Sandiego.

And I would very much like to get back
to finding her if you do not mind.

[chuckles] Well, then you and I
may be able to help each other.

You also seek the Crimson Shadow.

We're seeking an army of shadows

whom, we have reason to believe,
call themselves "VILE."

If Carmen Sandiego is after this doubloon,
it must be worth a fortune.

How very delightful to hear, Le Chevre,

because Papa needs
a new pair of cuff links.

Of course, Professor Maelstrom.

A vault filled with cuff links
of every shape and color.

And gold rings for every finger.

A fancy limousine or a spectacular yacht.

No, wait.
Your very own private golf course.

Uh, I can chase away the gophers for you.

The point being this golden trinket

will enable you to buy
anything your dark heart desires.

Buy?

I don't think you understand.

I intend to melt that doubloon
into a pair of solid gold cuff links.

Melt? But it is worth...

I will be the first on the island.

Countess Cleo will be so envious.

[Carmen] Pedal to the metal.

If that yellowfin makes it
to the auction floor,

we could lose it for good.

[Player] Word of caution, Red.

The air's pretty thin above , feet.

If you don't take the time to acclimate,

any one of you can get
altitude sickness.

We believe that VILE
has masterminded

most of the major crimes
of the last few decades.

Everything from the manipulation
of financial markets

to the contamination of cheese.

And you have not been able
to stop them, why?

Try stopping something
that you can't actually prove exists.

In nearly years,
only six suspected VILE operatives

have ever been apprehended
by any law enforcement agency.

Each vanished, before they could
be questioned, without a trace.

No leads, no threats, nothing.

Exactly!

Okay, stay still,
because if I don't pull out slowly,

you could wind up speaking backwards
or tasting color.

I'm joking!

[grunts, clears throat]

And what does this VILE
have to do with Carmen Sandiego?

Aha! She is the ringleader!

A thief who publicly flaunts her crimes,
the leader of a phantom criminal empire?

Eh, good point.

Despite the decades of amassing data

via our highly advanced
CrimeNet technology,

VILE has remained
little more than rumor.

No faces, no names.

Yet, an international thief springs
from nowhere and, based on her activities,

seems to know more about them
than we do.

We need to learn what she knows,

and that means providing you
with the tools to find Carmen Sandiego.

[inhales] Ah!
Smell that fresh mountain air!

[inhales, bones cr*ck]
Oh, smells like...

Oh, pee-yoo! Fish!

That's a good sign, Zack, since we happen
to be looking for a fish mar...

[groaning]

Carm?

[Carmen groans, thuds]

- [echoing] Carmen!
- [Carmen groaning]

- [answering machine beeps]
- Chase Devineaux. Leave a brief message.

If this is about the love seat,
it is already sold.

[beeps]

Inspector, it's me, Julia.

I'm sorry to call again,

but I would really like to know
if you took the train home.

Or if, like our witness,
you vanished into thin air.

[groaning]

You.

Yes, it is me.

You are fortunate
that I found you when I did.

As a baby.

By the side of a road in Argentina.

Oh, I always knew it was you.

Please, the air is very thin up here.

You need oxygen.

Okay, let us pretend
that I believe your conspiracy stories.

Why would I bother helping you
find Carmen Sandiego?

I am already with Interpol.

You don't have a choice, Inspector.

Arrangements have been made
with your former superiors.

You're not a gumshoe anymore.

[electronic chirping]

Welcome to ACME.

[oxygen hissing]

[groans, gasps]

Zack? Ivy?

I encouraged your colleagues
to explore the fish market

since they knew little
about treating altitude sickness.

Yes, I followed you.

Did you think I would trust
a possible scavenger with my coin?

Doctor, if I'm to have any hope
of retrieving your doubloon,

I really need to be... [groans]

Are these the tools
of an amateur coin hobbyist?

You helped me.

Please, allow me to help you.

Oh, find that coin already, sis!
I can't breathe in here.

If you don't put a sock in it,
Zack-att*ck,

I'm gonna put a fish in it for you.

The eyes, the head, the whole enchilada.

[electronic chirping]

Wicked awesome!
Lucky number .

[door opens]

Well, look what just waltzed in.
Red snapper.

Hey, don't be embarrassed, Carm.
The smell of fish gets me woozy, too.

- Tell me you found it.
- [Ivy] Yep.

We've been scanning the tuna carts on deck
for the auction floor first

to make sure it didn't get past us.

It's in that one over there.

The one they just wheeled
through those doors?

[both gasp]

Three hundred once.
Three hundred twice.

Lot , sold to paddle number seven.

- Le Chevre.
- [Ivy] Again?

That guy really gets my goat.

He'd ID me in an instant,
with or without the coat.

You two need to reel it in.

- How?
- Bid to win.

Lot number :
yellowfin tuna, pounds.

That's our guppy.

Starting at $.
Do I hear $?

One hundred dollars.
Do I hear $?

$,!

[crowd gasps]

[clears throat]

- [bangs]
- Sold!

[crowd cheering]

What? She said "bid to win."

I just won.

Not how it works, bro.

That is our tuna.
Now, now, now!

[gasps]

We're, uh, not gonna pay for that.

- [clatters]
- [grunts, groans]

[grunts]

Ha-ha!

That doubloon isn't worth
what you think it is.

Stealing it would deprive Ecuador
of a cultural treasure.

Tell it to Professor Maelstrom.

[shouting, grunts]

Time to whack a mole, bro.

We shall see who will be whacked.
[grunts]

Oh!

- Whoa.
- Catch of the day.

[groans] I do not feel so well.

Uh, it is the altitude, mi amigo.

But I have the coin in hand.

Vamonos!

[clinks]

[Chief] ACME: Agency to Classify
and Monitor Evildoers.

We gather data,
we monitor criminals, covertly.

No one knows we exist,
not law enforcement, not VILE,

not our own families.

We are the only entity
more invisible than VILE itself,

and it's imperative
that we keep it that way.

[door opens]

Inspector?

[stammering] I have never
seen her before in my life.

Your partner's pretty sharp.

[Pilar] Thank you, Carmen Sandiego.

Someday, the world will know your name.

Just happy to do my part for Ecuador.

Interesting to hear,
coming from an Argentinean.

During your fever, you mistook me
for someone close to you.

A link to my past.

We went our separate ways.

But maybe a visit home
would do me some good.

[Player over radio] Breaking news, Red.

That series of art thefts
we've been tracking?

It's way bigger than we thought.

And I have reason to believe
the next one on VILE's hit list

is at the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam.

Buenos Aires will have to wait.

[theme music playing]