04x01 - The Beijing Bullion Caper

[bunniefuu]

[main theme music]

♪ Where in the world is ♪

♪ Carmen Sandiego ♪

♪ Sandiego ♪

♪ Where in the world is ♪

♪ Carmen ♪

♪ Sandiego ♪

[orchestra music]

[applause]

And it's another rocking night
at the opera.

- [door opening]
- Graham Calloway?

Before I answer that, mates,
I'll need to see some wristbands.

Come with us.

- [thunder claps]
- [rain pattering]

Gunnar, ol' chum.

Is this absolutely necessary?

Unlike Neal the Eel,
I was never actually taken into custody.

Thanks to these fine fellows.

A technicality.
You know the rules, Roundabout.

"Failure is forgivable, capture is not."

Yes, yes. But, tinkering with my memories?

You cannot incriminate VILE
if you do not remember us.

But I've heard that Crackle fellow
I once sprung from jail has gone soft.

Lost his edge!

Suppressing the criminal impulse
ensures no unexpected relapses.

Even though I have other
smashing capers in play?

Our gold initiative in Beijing is prepped,

I merely need to assign another operative!

[grunts]

[electricity buzzing]

If you were considering Neal,

he's retired.

[gulps]

[zaps]

I've gotta say, you were right
about that tingling sensation, Doc.

It did not hurt one bit!

What?

You are not supposed
to remember I said that.

Well, slippery to the last squeak.

- [computer beeps]
- Calibration error!

My equipment has been raining malfunction

since our move to this damp climate.

[sighs]
I must fetch replacement parts

from my laboratory.

Shall we wait here, Dr. Bellum?

My laboratory, in the Himalayan mountains!

What say we agree to forget
about this morbid memory-wiping nonsense

and allow another opportunity
to prove our worth?

[scratching]

I'm game.

This time, failure will not be forgivable.

Hey! Jolly good then!

As I was saying,
the heist will take place in…

Beijing, China's capital.

VILE's targeting gold,
somewhere in The Forbidden City.

Which isn't a city, exactly.

It's a massive complex
of palaces in the center of Beijing.

Dating back to the Ming Dynasty
in the early s.

It was "forbidden"
because only the Emperor

was allowed to move
freely through the grounds.

Today, the complex houses
the Palace Museum,

which contains over
one million historic objects,

including jade, ceramics,
and paintings, as well as gold.

Speaking of, any sign of

VILE's "gold initiative?"

We've split up to cover more ground.

But the Forbidden City
looks more like a Ghost Town.

Ivy, what do we know?

Zack really needs
to brush up on his Mandarin.

And the museum's closed for an event.

Something about a dignitary,
giving his daughter a private tour.

- Red Drone just spotted them.
- [shutter clicks]

He's not just any dignitary.

His name is Huang Li.

And he manages

China's largest gold reserve
for its national bank,

which happens to be
right there in Beijing.

So he's the reason VILE intends
to strike here today.

And do what? Take him hostage and demand
gold in exchange for his return?

Not in plain sight,
that's not VILE's style.

And they'd need to get past his bodyguard.

So would you, if you plan
to steal Mr. Li before VILE does.

- That would be kidnapping.
- [g*n sh*t]

[metal clanks]

Not my style.

Xifeng.

Do you recall anything of interest

- about the Palace of Eternal Spring?
- Hmm.

Might it have something to do with opera?

Performances were staged
on its veranda, for The Empress.

[chuckles]

There is no question,
you know your father well.

[light orchestra music]

[zips]

[gasps]

[scratches]

- [mumbling]
- [scratching]

I have arranged for a treat.

- Your mother loved having tea here.
- [scratching continues]

- [grunts]
- Oxtail?

I… think I may be allergic to bug bites.

You may locate a first aid station
and tend to yourself.

Curious, that Mr. Li
should suddenly be left unprotected.

- Head's up, Red.
- [phone beeps]

- [shutter clicks]
- Shadowsan.

- Friend of yours?
- [phone beeps]

Lady Dokuso.

We have a toxic relationship.

Slippery Neal to Slipping Mickey,
they're heading your way.

Welcome, Mr. Li.

- [liquid drips]
- [sizzles]

Tea will soon be served, Unagi.

Red, the guests of honor
just sat down to tea.

You think…

The tea is spiked.

- [grunts]
- [thuds]

Eel in a China shop, anyone?

Did you hear something?

It is probably Oxtail.

I will check.

[chuckles]

She is most protective of me.

A Chinese Tea Ceremony

is a far cry from a Tokyo Night Club.

And you know how cranky
I get without my karaoke.

- [grunts]
- [blades swish]

- [gasps]
- [blades thunk]

[yells]

- [blade twirling]
- [slashes]

[grunts]

- [thunks]
- [grunts]

Whoopsie! Oh! Oh, dear.

[grunting]

- Nice catch.
- It's my Peking Opera training.

[orchestra music builds]

[gasps]

- Decoy. Abort mission!
- [beeps]

[bursts]

Well, it's time for this eel to peel!

[swooshes]

[orchestra music climaxes]

A shame to allow it to cool.

Hold!

- [cup clinks]
- But, wouldn't a fresh warm pot be nicer?

We're from Boston.
We know all about tea parties.

With a trove of gold bullion at stake,

VILE will absolutely have a Plan B.

[shushing]

It's okay, she's in the loop.

So, are you Interpol? Or CIA?

Ha. If CIA stands for "Carmen In Action"…

That would be us.

I mean, that would be her.

We believe the criminals who attempted
to abduct your father will try again.

Father is heavily guarded
when at the Gold Reserve.

But he is proud and stubborn,

and does not fear
his safety outside of it.

Not while his bodyguard is present.

Do you have any idea when
or where he might be vulnerable next?

Tomorrow night.

At the performance.

Performance?

Gold is my father's job.

Opera is his passion.

Opera? Ugh.

Good luck staying awake.

- [beeping]
- [clicks]

[zaps]

Look, mates, I'm just the lighting tech.

If you want to pitch special effects,
you have the wrong guy.

I am special,

and I've been known
to have an effect on people.

So, I would suggest
addressing your questions

directly to me, Mr. Calloway.

[static]

That tickles. Now.

Iceland is a long way from Australia.

What brings you to Reykjavik?

The Thieving Magpie.

An opera, by Rossini.

I'm touring with the Sydney Opera Company.

I see.

Wait a minute.
So you're, what, CIA? Interpol?

Consider us all of the above.

Except they don't know we exist.

Then you must know Carmen.

Now we're getting somewhere.

So, your father
will be attending the Opera.

No, starring in it.

He is the benefactor
of a Peking Opera troupe,

but also a quite talented singer.

Would the concert hall be anywhere
near the gold reserve building?

A few miles from it, yes.

If our enemy stole even
a fraction of the gold stored there,

it could fund their crimes for years.

And stealing enough
could even harm China's economy.

We must see to it that
the performance is canceled.

But Father and I will be sharing
the stage, for the very first time.

Whoa. You're in the show, too?

Peking Opera has singing,
dancing, even acrobatics.

You would find it quite entertaining.

The Opera was Mother's greatest joy.

Father and I vowed
that we would perform together,

on the anniversary of her…

I'm very sorry.

In honor of her memory,

Father will sing her favorite song
during tomorrow night's finale.

Then the show must go on.

There were…

complications.

Perhaps we should check in
with Dr. Bellum.

[gasps]
Really not necessary!

I have a cracking Plan B in place!

Then why do you seem so…

tense?

Well, only because it promises
to be a tad more…

complex than Plan A.

True. But, our secret w*apon
is already here in Beijing.

And he has been rigorously preparing

for his role of a lifetime.

[ominous music]

[Chinese percussive music]

[gong clangs]

Almost showtime. And no sign of VILE.

They will show,
if they are not already here.

- [door opening]
- [wheels rustling]

[door closes]

[foreboding music]

Break a leg, everyone!

[Ivy growls]

I saw it on TV once.
They say it in the theater for good luck.

Yeah, maybe somewhere
in the world they do.

But we're in China!

- Clear.
- Ah!

Xifeng means well, but she worries.

[door closes]

Hey!

[sniffs, groans]

Easy peasy.

It is showtime, folks.

[grunts]

[tube bounces, rolls]

[applause]

[Chinese opera music]

This doesn't sound like
any opera I've ever heard.

[gasps]
This… rocks!

[singing in Chinese]

Carmen, that is not Father!

You can tell, under all that makeup?

No, by the singing.

My father's voice
is not nearly so sublime.

[static, beeps]

Mime b*mb.

[keyboard tapping]

He's lip-syncing.

To a professional recording of the opera,

playing through a hidden loudspeaker.

I must find Father!

We'll have a much better
chance of finding him

if they don't know
we're onto them. Trust me.

Li's dressing room is empty.

How did they pull it off?

The makeup.

We have to assume
Mr. Li has left the building.

Zack, Ivy, stage door, now.

Remember, Unagi.

You have the runtime
of tonight's performance

to transport our target

to the Gold Reserve and back

before the curtain falls.

So that no one notices anything amiss.

Mr. Li will remain unconscious

for as long as the tainted
makeup remains on his face.

- [rack rolling]
- [phone beeps]

[tense music]

[swoosh]

- [slashing]
- [gasping]

[tires screeching]

I'm hitting all the lights!

About time.

[engine revving]

- [shrieks]
- [brakes screech]

[horns blaring]

[sighs]
It's another banner day for Neal the Eel.

Keep resting your eyes, compadre.

We'll need them open soon enough.

And then, Carmen left me
hanging at the cafe…

Again.

Be glad I'm having coffee with you.

But just so I'm clear,

you never saw Sandiego
steal anything from this

fake concert hall in Auckland?

Why would she? She's one of the good guys.

Good guys?

Wait. She… doesn't work with you?

What's your game, Sandiego?

Is Operation Slumber Party in play?

Knock-out gas has been pumped
through the ventilation system.

- Anyone inside will be fast asleep.
- [gas hissing]

Then peel back his lids, boys.

Those retinas aren't going
to scan themselves!

[scanner burrs]

[buzzes]

Hmm. Try again.

- [scanner burrs]
- [buzzes]

- Ugh. What is it with red lights tonight?
- [beeping]

Beats me.

But I have an opera to crash!

Hey, no one gives Neal the slip!

[door opening]

[coughing]

- [door opening]
- [tires screeching]

[coughing]

And, the bait has been switched.

Player, we're heading back
to the opera house with Mr. Li in tow.

[sighs]
Glad to hear it worked out.

Hacking into Beijing's
Traffic Network was no easy task,

thanks to the language barrier.

But I managed to line up
the lights in your favor.

We had just enough time to prep Zack

for his off-stage Peking Opera debut.

And b*at VILE at their own game.

- [blades twirling]
- [rustling]

[brakes screeching]

- [door opening]
- It's another banner day for Neal the Eel.

[doors closing]

[Chinese percussive music]

[gongs clang]

- [gong clangs]
- [taps]

[applause]

[tense music]

- [blows]
- [dart zips]

Makeup rhymes with…

Wake up.

[gasps]

What… where?

You passed out, Mr. Li.
Opening night jitters.

But it's time for your big number.

[crashes]

[thuds]

[applause]

[shoes squeak]

[percussive music]

- [blade twirling]
- [yells]

[blade swishes]

[yells]

[both grunting]

- [blade clinks]
- [grunting]

[groans]

[grunts]

Any pain from the pinprick
will quickly subside

once your fingers go numb.

[grunts]

[groans]

[singing in Chinese]

[cymbals clash]

[audience applauding]

[crash]

Shadowsan!

[grunts]

[groans, pants]

Plan B proved a bit…

too complex.

[gasps]
Might we entertain a Plan C, then?

Whilst we await Dr. Bellum's
return from the Himalayas, that is?

Lock him in the dungeon.

What? Unfair, I say!

What about Neal?

What about Neal?

Slippery to the last squeak.

[in Chinese]
Get out of the way, we're working!

- [in Chinese] Get out of the way now!
- [fishes thudding]

[birds squawking]

Oh, I blame myself.

I said break a leg,

and you broke a leg!

[Shadowsan growls]

Father has decided
to expand his private security detail

after this incident.

I could speak to him,
if you're interested.

Thank you, Xifeng.

But I think Mr. Li is plenty
well-protected without us.

Oxtail is strong, yes, but…

I was referring to you.

[door opens]

And?

We ran every flinch, twitch
and nose hair through Crime-Net.

He's telling the truth, ma'am.

[sighs]

Just some smitten sap
who allowed himself to be duped

by a smooth-talking superthief.

Let him walk.

[keyboard tapping]

Good evening, I am here to meet with…

Chief? But you are…

Tired, Agent Devineaux.

How nice of you to notice.

[clears throat]

You… wanted to see me?

You've clearly been harboring new hunches
about our ever-allusive target.

- Maybe I'm ready to listen.
- [beeps]

[gasps]

It is him!

You know this man?

We first spotted him meeting Carmen
at a cafe in Sydney, Australia…

during your leave of absence.

He is the one I told you about!

He was on the train to Paris.

The night I first encountered
La Femme Rouge!

I brought him in for questioning,

but he vanished into thin air!

He may very well be the missing link to

everything we wish to know about
Carmen Sandiego!

I'm sending you to Reykjavik.