01x01 - The Jellyfish Kid

[bunniefuu]

kids: ♪ SpongeBob ♪

- ♪ I'm off to summer camp ♪

kids: ♪ SpongeBob ♪

- ♪ Through nature I will tramp ♪

kids: ♪ SpongeBob ♪ - [screaming]

kids: ♪ Will have you screaming ♪

- ♪ While milk is streaming right out of your nose ♪

[screaming]

♪ ♪

kids: ♪ SpongeBob ♪

- ♪ When nature's calling, you'll see me hauling ♪

♪ I'm hitting the trail ♪ [toilet flushes]

[whistling tune]

[dramatic music]

[jellyfish buzzing]

- [laughs]

- [buzzing]

- Yah! Aw.

♪ ♪

Yah! Aw.

Aah!

[laughing]

Whoa!

Aah! Oof.

- First catch!

- [buzzing]

[foghorn blares]

- Huh?

[sighs]

That dream again.

That jelly-rrific dream.

Well, today's the day I'm gonna make my dream come true.

[grunts] Wah!

[grunting]

Hmm. Yup.

Yah, yah!

[laughs]

- [snoring] - Patrick,

today I'm gonna catch my first ever jellyfish.

- Tell the ballerinas I caught the gorilla.

- [laughs]

[suction whirring] Aah!

[laughing]

[upbeat tropical music]

Hey, Sandy, it's jellyfishing day!

- [screaming]

Hee-yah!

- Aah!

[grunting]

Whoa!

- [snoring]

- [humming]

♪ ♪

Huh? Ooh.

Today, you will finally be mine.

Huh?

[laughing]

- [snoring] - [humming]

♪ Today's the day ♪

♪ Today's the day ♪

♪ Jellyfishing, today's the day ♪

- [snoring]

- [humming]

Ah.

[grunts]

[chuckles]

There you are.

Sunrise!

["Reveille" tune plays]

- Quiet! - Aw.

[kids whining] - [grunting]

♪ ♪

- [groaning]

I never should've told that annoying kid

to play "Reveille" in the morning.

Pipe down, you!

[grunts]

Whoa, whoa! Ooh.

[groans] - [laughs]

- Ah! - Ow.

- Whoops. - Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh.

How'd I get out here? What day is this?

- It's the first day of jellyfish season,

Mr. Tentacles.

- Hmm, SpongeBob.

Well, that figures.

Ow. All right, who's the clown?

[clown horn honking]

- Look lively, everyone.

That's it, that's it.

Keep those arms up! [campers whining]

- [heavy breathing]

Mr. Larry, did you know that jellyfish

are the most energy-efficient swimmers

in the entire ocean? - Nope.

- And did you that they eat and poop out of their mouths?

- Ew. Nature is disgusting.

- And did you know

that a jellyfish can lift , times its weight?

- What? No way, Manta Ray.

I'm stronger than a jelly.

Bros and bro-ettes,

get on my back!

[kids cheering]

[grunting]

One...

[sighs]

Two...

- I'm gonna catch a jellyfish today.

Well, bye.

- [grunts]

- Move along, campers.

Let's dispel the onerous lie,

"nerds don't bathe."

- What is this? I feel wet.

Is it blood? Am I bleeding?

[screaming]

- Did you know the jellyfish have been around

since before dinosaurs and that they're not even fish?

- [gasps]

Aah!

- [gurgling]

- Incoming! Take cover!

[whimpers]

[grunts]

I've been soddened by secondhand sponge water.

- I'm gonna catch my first jellyfish today.

- Well, whoop-de-doo.

- Come on, campers.

Move it, move it!

We don't have all morning.

- [groans]

Hey, what do you call this slop?

- I'd tell you, but I'm not supposed to use

that kind of language in front of children.

Keep it moving.

- [laughing]

Jellyfish...

Catching...

Catching jellyfish.

- [groans] Weirdo.

[food squelches]

[sweeping music]

- Jellyfishing!

- Ooh, that's quite a spiffy net you got there, SpongeBob.

- Yeah, it blows bubbles.

[inhales, blows]

Aah...

Ay? Ow.

- Why, that's about as handy

as a hip pocket on a hog.

- Attention, campers.

[militaristic music]

- [grunts] - Hmm.

Today, is--

- The first day of jellyfish season!

[giggling]

Jellies...

- So when I blow this whistle--

- Aah! Jellies!

[heavy breathing]

[laughs]

[heavy breathing]

- Do you need to use the outhouse?

- No. - All right, let's--

- I do!

- Go ahead. We'll wait.

- [laughs]

- [groaning]

- [laughs, sighs]

- [sighs] Everybody ready?

- I'm ready!

- Oh, excuse me!

I left my net in the bathroom! [whimpers]

- Aw. - Huh?

- [chomping loudly]

[campers sighing]

[groaning]

- Ah, forgot what I was doing.

- Your net!

- No, thanks. I got one.

- [groans]

Mmm, all right.

One, two--

- Oh, I think I left the stove on!

- But, Patrick, we have no stove.

- Oh, well, what's the hold up?

Blow your whistle!

- [grumbles] Grr...

[suspenseful music]

[lips smacking]

Mmm.

♪ ♪

- [clears throat] [inhales deeply]

[PA feedback]

- Attention, SpongeBob SquarePants.

You have a call from your mother

in Camp Master Krabs' office.

I repeat, your mama's calling you.

- [whimpers]

Mom?

Jellyfish?

[whistle blows]

[campers cheering]

[stammering]

- The phone.

- The phone! The phone!

[panting]

[gasps]

Aah!

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa whoa-whoa-whoa!

- Huh? Ah!

- [screaming, grunts]

- Hmm.

- Aah! Oh!

Whoa. [grunts]

[heavy breathing]

[stammering]

- Huh?

- [laughs] - Aah!

- Hmm...

- Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa whoa-whoa-whoa!

- Are you done? - Mm-hmm.

- Well then,

answer the phone!

Please. - Mm-hmm.

Hi, Mom, I love you, but I'm a little busy here.

- [indistinct chatter] - [cooing]

- Mom, why are you calling? [gasps]

- Oh, good question. Now why was I calling?

- [screaming]

- [indistinct chatter] - [gasps]

There you are! Huh?

Yeah, Mom. [grunts]

Uh-huh. [jellyfish buzzing]

[heavy breathing]

- It's a beautiful clear day here at Kamp Koral

as rookie SquarePants

attempts to net his first ever jellyfish

while simultaneously talking to his mom.

all: Huh? - [grunts]

- And here we see the young jellyfishers'

abstract expressionist period.

Wow, What a talent!

- Sorry, Mrs. Puff!

Yah!

[heavy breathing]

[grunts] - Whoa!

- Simply amazing.

Here SpongeBob combines two sports:

jellyfishing and canoeing.

- Aah!

- And he's bad at both!

He's going, going, gone!

- Aah! Oof.

- And now back to Jelly Meadows.

[dramatic music]

- [gasps]

[grunts]

[heavy breathing]

- [indistinct chatter] - [panting]

- Now I remember what I wanted to ask you.

Have you caught a jellyfish yet?

[campers groaning] - Oh.

Not exactly.

Aah! [grunts]

Bye, Mom! Love you!

[campers screaming]

Wow.

It's just like my dream.

[laughing]

[playful music]

Yah! Yay, I got one!

[whistle blows] Aw.

Ah! [grunts]

Caught ya! [register dings]

Huh?

- Hey, that's my college fund.

- [laughs]

- [yelping]

Yah! I got you this time.

Aw.

Oy-oy-oy! - [grunts]

♪ ♪

[gulps] [burps]

- [whimpers] That's my jellyfish.

- Oh, sorry, buddy.

Here, here.

I'll hold it out for you

while you catch it.

- Ah!

[grunting]

[sighing]

- You're overthinking it.

Try standing closer.

- Closer. Yah!

Aw.

- Bend your knees. Deep breath.

- [inhales deeply]

- Blow your nose.

[nose toots]

Squint your eyes.

Now, where's your jelly face?

Let's see your jelly face!

- Nyah, this is my jelly face!

Rah!

[grunts] [groans]

- Hmm.

- [sighs] [groans]

- Aw, here.

- Yay!

[gasps]

Aw.

[somber music]

[wind whooshes]

Hm?

I'm the worst jellyfisher ever.

[jellyfish buzzes]

- [crying]

- True, but remember, SpongeBob,

all that glitters is not all that jazz.

- [snivels]

Thanks, buddy.

That's some good advice.

- If I were in his shoes,

I'd walk softly and carry no bed of roses.

[jellyfish buzzing]

- All right! I got it!

- Wow, look at this one!

- Wow.

- Oh, boy! Look at mine!

- [buzzing]

- [grunts] Aw.

Wah! Aw.

[heavy breathing] [grunts]

Ah! Yah, yah!

Ha-ha! [gasps]

Yah.

- SpongeBob. That figures.

[both grunt]

- Mr. Tentacles,

you're a sophisticated man of the world.

Everyone says you've seen a fish au naturel.

- It was a painting in a museum.

I told you that. Now get off me!

[both grunt]

- [sighs] Ahem.

- Well, anyway,

you're probably the greatest camper that ever lived.

Maybe you can help me catch a jellyfish.

- Well, that's all true,

but you know, there's really nothing to it.

As a matter of fact,

I saw jelly fly into that cave over there.

- Ooh!

- It should be cornered and easy to catch.

[ding]

- Oh, thank you!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

I love this camp!

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

- Mmm, mmm.

Ha, ha, ha, ha...

Hmm? - [grunts]

- Hmm! [babbles, screams]

- Mr. Tentacles,

it was not a cave.

It was a jellyfish hive.

[grunting]

- [gasps]

[screaming]

[electricity crackles]

- Huh?

Huh?

- Look at them go!

- Wow. - [buzzing]

- One day...

- [screaming]

- Ha.

[campers gasping] - Poor SpongeBob.

Can't seem to catch a single jellyfish in this camp.

We gotta do something.

- How about we bulldoze the camp,

stomp on it,

and chop it to pieces, and eat it.

- Uh, let's put a pin in that.

I've got a better idea.

- [buzzing]

- Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm!

Why am I doing this again?

- Because you feel guilty about getting SpongeBob all stung up.

- Yeah, what else you got?

- 'Cause you will do an amazing job

selling the illusion of a jellyfish,

and you're the best dancer in camp.

- Ha, it's true. I am.

Why, last year, I was "primo ballerino"

in "Under Swan Lake."

You should've seen my dying swan.

- And today, you will die again!

- That's right! - Oof!

- Because today you will dance "Jelly Lake."

- "Jelly Lake"? Hmm...

Okay, I'll do it!

- Hmm.

- ♪ Yesterday didn't count ♪

♪ Today's the day that counts, today, today, today ♪

- Hey, here comes that kid with the pants!

- Yah! [grunts]

- [grunts]

- Ha!

Heeya!

- [screaming]

[grunts] - [groans]

- Aah!

[groans] Are we starting yet?

- Yup, the curtains done come up on "Jelly Lake."

Dance pretty now!

Whoo!

[sweeping music] - Buzz, buzz, buzz.

Buzz, buzz, buzza, buzza, buzz, buzz.

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

- [heavy breathing]

- Huh?

- SpongeBob!

[babbling]

[sighs]

There's a big ugly jellyfish!

- There is?

- And the field is empty!

- Oh, boy! - [heavy breathing]

You'll have to carry me. [grunts]

Right this way.

- Buzz, buzz.

Buzz, buzz, buzz!

- Oh, I don't know, Patrick.

I think there's something wrong with it.

- Go get 'em, tiger!

- Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. - I kinda feel sorry for it.

- Can't make it too easy. Ha!

- Wah! - Aah, buzz!

Huh?

- [grunts]

- [screaming]

- [grunts]

- [screaming] Not again!

Aah!

Huh?

Whew.

♪ ♪

[screaming and grunting]

♪ ♪

- Ooh, that's gotta hurt.

- [groans]

- Is it dead?

[playful music]

- [groans] - Nope, it's alive.

- [murmurs]

- I think it just said a bad word.

- It's wounded! Now's your chance to catch it!

- [whimpering]

[both gasp]

[dramatic music]

- [roars] [all scream]

- [screams] - [gulps]

♪ ♪

[belches]

- Oh, no! This is horrible!

- I know, right? I just can't catch a break.

- No, that wasn't a jellyfish!

That was Squidward in disguise!

- It was? - It was?

- It was!

- [roars]

♪ ♪

all: [heavy breathing]

- Squidward Tentacles is the greatest camp counselor

that ever lived.

He can't end up as monster poop.

Yah!

Yah!

[grunts]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Aah!

- Hmm. [laughs]

[creature roars] [screams]

[campers screaming]

- [roars]

[all screaming]

- Sorry again, Mrs. Puff!

- ...

- [screams] [campers screaming]

- [groans]

[campers screaming]

- [sighs] Look at that, Plankton.

Fresh sea water, wholesome kids,

running around, screaming. - [roars]

- [screams] - What the--

- [grunts]

[campers screaming]

- Whoa! Aah!

- [whimpers]

- Whoa, whoa, uh-oh!

[screaming]

[campers screaming]

[campers whimpering]

- [screaming]

- [snarls] - Hi there, monster.

My name is SpongeBob. You ate my camp counselor,

and I'd appreciate it if you would barf him back up.

- [roars] - Yah!

♪ ♪

- Mmm.

Sponge cake.

- Whee!

Oh!

[heavy breathing]

- [groaning]

- Mr. Tentacles.

- Oh, SpongeBob?

Oh, please, just let me die.

- Not yet.

[triumphant musical sting]

Because there's no problem that a bubble can't solve!

[inhales deeply]

[blows]

- Huh?

[dramatic music]

- [gasps]

- [roars] [both whimpering]

- Huh? - [grumbles]

♪ ♪

- It's incredible, campers,

but the monster appears to be expanding!

Either this is nature at its most majestic,

or we're all gonna be blown to pieces!

[campers screaming]

- [grunts]

[campers screaming]

all: Huh?

Whoa.

- Cool!

[cheers and applause]

- Wow!

- [gasps] Oh.

[laughing]

Thanks. [gasps]

- Whoo-hoo!

- [laughs]

- Yay.

- [laughs]

[campers screaming] - My eyes!

[upbeat tropical music]

- Aah!

- [laughs]

- Aah!

[grunts, mumbles]

- [blows]

- Sorry you lost your dinner.

How 'bout some of Plankton's slop?

- [sniffs] [wretches]

[whimpers]

- [grunts] - [gulps]

- [laughing]

Goodbye! Visit any time!

- [grunting]

- Oh, here. Let me help.

- [stammering]

[groaning]

[campers cheering]

[groans]

- Mr. Squidward, you've done great!

- Ow. [whimpers]

- Yeah!

And SpongeBob caught his first jellyfish!

- [giggles] - Wait a minute.

I'm sorry, but fake jellies don't count.

No jelly badge.

- [sniveling]

- But what you do get

is a Saving-a-Counselor- from-a-Monster-Badge.

[laughs]

- Yeah!

- Congratulations, son.

- Yay, way to go, SpongeBob! - Way to go, SpongeBob!

- I love this camp!

- Yeehaw!

- [grunting]

- [buzzing]

- Ah!

- [buzzing]

- Huh, why is there

a Saving-a-Counselor- from-a-Monster badge?

Like, how often does that happen here?

- I don't know, Sandy.

But I do know one thing.

One day I'm gonna catch me a jellyfish,

and when I catch it,

I'm going to release it!

- Whoa.

[jellyfish buzzing]

♪ ♪

[upbeat whistling music]

♪ ♪

[upbeat tune]