06x07 - Oily to Bed, Oily to Rise

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

Clifford's been in there
a long time.

Maybe she won't sell.

Hope she doesn't get wise
there's oil in her land.

Here he comes now.

[ENGINE STARTS]

The old lady was a cinch.
Here's the deed.

Signed, sealed and delivered.
I'll take it.

Oh, no, you don't.

We'll put it in here
where we can all watch it.

All right, let's hurry to
Fairport and record the deed.

What's the hurry?
There's more suckers here

who want to sell oil land cheap.

Hey, look out for those men.

[HONKS]

What's the matter with you guys?
Look where you're going!

[GRUNTS]

[BARKS]

Am I b*rned up.

Here I was dreaming
of a nice Porsche

and a roast chicken
and dumplings.

What's that for?

For not dreaming enough
for the both of us.

Mm...

Why, you...

Hey, spread out, you guys,
I think I see a meal.

Where? Where?

[CHICKENS CLUCKING]

Oh, boy, hand food.

[CLUCKING]

Hey, Plymouth Rock, get going.

Come on.

[PEEPING]

[CLUCKS]

Quiet, what's that noise for?

I found an egg.
Oh, give it to me.

No, that-- MAN: Hey, you guys.

Here.
What are you doing in here?

We're looking for you.
Well, what do you want?

Listen, squire, we're hungry.

Can you give us something?

Oh, you're hungry, huh?

Well, go saw up
some of that wood,

and I'll give you
something to eat.

Come on, boys, work to do.

Mm!

Go on, saw that wood now.

Lot of pep.

Hey! Get busy!

Okay.

Oof!

Think I'm scared of labor?

You could do better, I suppose.

All right, wise guy,
you wanna do all the work?

I'll watch.

Where's my hat?

Oh.

Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh, look.

Look at that saw.
See if it'll work.

Oh, look at those teeth.

Moe! Moe, please!

Look, uh-- No, Moe! Moe!

I'll get you. No, Moe, don't.

Listen, Moe, please.

Don't do it, Moe.

Oh!

I'm sorry, Moe.
I didn't mean it.

It was a coincidence.

If I didn't need you,
I'd exterminate you.

Oh!

Get a hold of that saw,
we gotta fix it.

How? How?

We'll break it in half
and move the handle up to here.

Bring it back, now.

[GRUNTS]

It won't work.

Nyuck, nyuck-- Oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, I'm dead, I'm dead.

Say something. Speak to me, kid.

Tell me your name
so I can tell your mother.

My mother knows my name.

Oh, playing possum, eh?

Oh, oh, oh.

Get up out of there.

You're gonna fix that saw,

you half-brother to a weasel.

Listen, you.
On behalf of the weasel,

I resent that.

Come on. Oh!

Talk to your superiors
like that. Come here.

Cut this saw in half
so it'll work.

How am I gonna cut it in half?

Use the little saw.

Oh.

[CHATTERS]

[HUMS]

Gee, where'd you get the egg?

Right here, made to order
while you wait.

Ain't it a beaut?

[MAN WHISTLING]

Well, hello, boys, how are you?

How are you getting along?

Well, it's pretty hard work.

Ah, come on, come on, brace up.

[HUMMING]

Why, I...

Hey, you.

What do you
think you're doing there?

I'm sawing a saw
in half with a saw, see?

[GASPS]

Hey, you've ruined my saws.

Don't get excited, you can still
use it for a cheese Kn*fe.

Now, listen, you birds.

You're gonna pay for these saws.

Now, get over there
and load that wagon.

Anymore damage, I'm gonna have
you thrown in jail, see?

Get going!

Hey, wait a minute.

Hey, lunkhead, get under there
and fix that door.

Whoo!

Ooh!

Whoa!

Hit me when my back
is turned, eh?

[GRUNTS]

Wouldn't hit me
in the face, would you?

Oh!

Ooh. Took me illiterately.

Mm!

MOE:
Hurry up with that, will you?

Okay, fellas, let it come--

Oh!

[CRIES]

[GROWLS]

Just can't help
being a backbiter, eh?

Hey, wait a minute, fellas,
wait a minute.

Hey, you guys, what's the idea?

[CRIES]

Oh! You dumbbells,
I'm only trying to help you.

Mm!

See what he's doing under there.

If you move,
I'll b*at your brains out.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck,
nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Oh!

Oh!

[CRYING] Moe, Larry, Moe, Larry.

I'm so aggravated!

Moe, Larry!

That looks like oil property.

Yeah, just crying
for a new owner.

I still think
we ought to be in Fairport,

recording that Jenkins deed.

Ah, you ain't got
no patience, sourpuss.

If you guys would only listen
to me once in a while--

How do you like that.

I haven't got enough trouble.

Wow, wow, wow, wow.

I can't go another step.
My feet are k*lling me.

Mine too.

Boy, are my puppies yelling.

Oh, mine too.

Oh.

Oh, take it easy.

Take it easy, Fido,
take it easy.

What? Ruff, ruff.

Gee, I wish we had a car.

Wishing. Always wishing.
What does it get you? Nothing.

You never can tell when a--

Hey, fellas, look.

Can it be? Yes!

Oh, boy, I got my wish.

It came true.

How do you like that?

But I didn't wish for no derby.

Never look a gift horse
in the puss.

You know, I think
I was born to be rich.

I wish I had a cigar.

Look.

Are you a wishing wizard?

Cigars!

Whoo!

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Mm, what a bouquet.

Mm, smells like
a chrysanthemum-um-um-um-um.

Hey, don't look now, but I think
we're about to be k*lled.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

ALL: Hey! MOE: Grab that.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

You know, if I wasn't so weak
from hunger,

I'd bat your brains out
if you had brains.

You, punch-drunk,

I'm hungry.
Do something about it.

What? Wish, slug, wish.

Okay, what'll you have?

How about that roast chicken
and dumplings?

And some hot apple pie.
Does it have to be hot?

Why, certainly. Do you want him
to catch cold?

Okay.

I wish I had roast chicken
and dumplings.

And hot apple pie.

You ain't trying. Consecrate.

Consecrate.

Mm! I am consecrating
but nothing's happening.

Hey, pull over. Stop the car.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

What's the idea
of telling him to stop?

Maybe we can get a handout here.

That's a good idea. Come on.

How do you do, lady?

Could you give three men
a bite to eat?

Why, certainly.
The widow Jenkins

never sends hungry men away.

Come in, gentlemen.

Spread out.

Now, make yourself
right at home.

Thank you. Nyuck, nyuck.

Gee, I wish she had some roast
chicken and dumplings.

That's exactly what I have.

And I have some lovely,

hot apple pie.

Oh, boy. I got my wish.

Nyuck, nyuck.

The guy's haunted.

[LAUGHING] Nyuck, nyuck.

Oh, this water
tastes like coal oil.

Isn't it awful?

It's been that way
ever since the pump broke.

Mrs. Jenkins, isn't there
some kind of work we can do

to repay you
for this wonderful meal?

Well, the pump
does need fixing, but, uh...

Men, man the pumps.

[TRUMPETING]

ALL: ♪ A pumping we will go ♪

[TRUMPETING]

ALL: ♪ A pumping we will go ♪

Oh!

Ooh.

♪ Da-da-da, da-da-da, Da-da-da ♪

♪ A pumping we will go ♪

[LAUGHS]

[ROOSTER CAWS]

Hm! Hey, look.

A rooster bar.

You mean a crowbar.

Well, don't a rooster crow?

Boy, isn't this
a beautiful spot?

You said it.

It brings out
the wood nymph in me.

[SIGHS]

You know, I wish we could meet
three beautiful girls

so we could settle down
out here.

That's asking for too much.

What do you wanna
waste wishes for?

[HORN HONKS]
WOMAN : Mom, come here!

WOMAN : Mom? WOMAN : Mother?

WOMAN : Mom? Mom, come here.

ALL: Mother, Mother!

Hey, fellas, look what I got
for wishing.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Look, we won
the bathing beauty contest.

And it's real
imitation silver too.

Oh, darlings, that's wonderful.

Oh, gentlemen,
meet my daughters,

April, May and June.

Hm, three of the prettiest
months of the year.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Oh, you all say
the kindest things, sir.

Oh, gentlemen, gentlemen,

are you forgetting the pump?

ALL: To the pump, to the pump.

[CLANG] Oh!

ALL:
Pump. To the pump, to the pump.

to the pump, pump, pump.

To the pump, to the pump.
Hey, the pump!

To the pump, pump...

To the pump.
To the pump, pump, pump.

To the pump, to the pump,

to the pump, pump, pump.

[CLANG] Oh!

Oh, Moe, I didn't mean it.

Stop it! Wait a minute.
I'll m*rder you.

You ain't got time now.
You gotta fix the pump.

You're lucky.

[SQUEAKING AND WHEEZING]

It sounds like it's got asthma.

Yeah, it's dead, all right.

We gotta take the top off.

Come on.

Wait a minute.
Get that crowbar, nesthead.

Right in there.

Heave. Ho!

Heave. Ho!

Wait a minute, we'll att*ck it
from the rear.

ALL: Hike! Hike! Hike!

Ready, general?

ALL: Charge.

[CLANG] ALL: Oh!

[ALL GROAN]

It must be loose now.

Out of the way
till I take it off.

[GRUNTS] Careful.

It's stopped up.
Get the crowbar, egghead.

[THUMP, SPLASH]
[RUMBLING, BUBBLING]

You hear that?

Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

Sounds like
there's a bear down there,

I'm gonna get a trap.
Wait a minute.

How can there be
a bear down there?

It's barely possible.
Yeah, well--

Give me a match.
I'll look down the pipe.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck,
nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Why, you-- I ought to--

Ah!

[expl*si*n]

Ah, it's all cleaned out.

Get that pump and put it on.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck,
nyuck, nyuck, nyuck,

That's doing the stuff.
Up she goes.

Help to turn it now, boys.

All right.

Must be stuffed up.

Keep pumping.

CURLY: Mm!

Whoa!

CURLY: Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

Well, well, boy.

You numbskulls, I'll m*rder you.

[BUBBLING, RUMBLING]

Look, it's an inkwell.

Inkwell nothing.
Why, that's earl.

Earl?

Sure, coal earl.

You mean oil.

It's a geezer, an oil geezer!

Hey, that's worth
a lot of money.

Let's cork it up.

Quick, Moe, get a cork, quick.

We can't get a cork to fit that.

You better sit on it.

Hey, fellas!
Hey, fellas, it stopped.

Look, I'm a successful cork.
Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Success.

Whoa-- Ah-- Ah-- Ah!

Hey, Moe. Hey, Larry.

Get me down!

Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

What are you doing up there?

I'm an unsuccessful cork!
Uncork me!

Don't go away,
we'll be right back.

Hold it.

Get ready, now.

Tie it around you.

Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

Ready. Go!

How are you kid?

I'm all right, I'm all right.

Get that rope off.

My gracious, what's that?

That's oil. It's and oil well.

Oil?

ALL: Oil?

Yeah, it's a geezer
right on your piazza.

You're rich! You're rich!

Oh, my gracious.

I just sold the farm
for $ an acre.

They told me a store was coming.

Fifty dollars an acre?

Why, you've been swindled.
Who bought it?

Oh, Mr. Clifford
and two other men.

They've gone to Fairport
to record the deed.

Boys, we gotta stop them
before they record that deed.

We can't stop them
in these oily clothes.

Why not?
The oily bird catches the worm.

Quiet. Oh!

We gotta get
some dry clothes. Hurry.

Come on. Come on. Let's go.

Put a lamp in the window, Ma.

We may not be home till dark.

So long.

[SQUEALS]

For luck.

[GROANS]

Oh!

[BARKS]

Step on it.
We gotta get that deed back.

I wish I 'd come
face to face with those crooks.

Hey, that's our car, isn't it?

It sure is.

Flag them down! Hey, stop!

[HONKING] [ALL YELLING]

Hey, what do you dames mean
by stealing our car?

Hey, you guys are screwy.

We didn't steal no car.
We're looking for the crooks.

Oh, yeah? We'll find out
whether this is our car or not.

I wish I could lay my hands
on those swindlers.

Sure it's our car.

Look, here's the Jenkins' deed.

It's them. The crooks.

ALL: Come on.

Give me that!
Hey, what's the idea?

Give me that deed.

Hey, give me back that deed

or I'll punch you in the nose,
dame or no dame.

Oh, hit a woman, would you?

Hold this. Sure.

CURLY: Oh!

Give me that deed. All right.

Can't we be friends?
Give me a hand.

LARRY: Yeah, sure.

[YELLING]

[ALL GROANING]

Oh...

Oh, boy, we got the deed.

At last, we've got
nothing to worry about.

[ALL SCREAM]

[TIRES SQUEAL]

Now, wait a minute.
Who's driving this thing?

LARRY: I'm the driver.
MOE: I was driving.

Look out! [TIRES SQUEAL]

Get out of my way!
I'll handle this.

[SCREAMS]

[CRYING] Oh, girls.

Why did I have to
sell the place?

Spread out.

Don't cry.

MOE; Mrs. Jenkins. Mrs. Jenkins.

Yes? Here's your deed.

We saved your property.
You're rich.

We're rich.

SISTERS: My hero.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

I wish there was a justice
of the peace around

so we could get married.

[KNOCKS]

Did I hear someone
call a justice of the peace?

WOMAN: Why, it's
Uncle Tim, sure enough.

Hey. What do you want?

All you gotta do now
is wish for quintuplets

and we're all set.
That's a cinch.

We'll honeymoon in Canada.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

[TEETH CHATTER]

[GROANS]

Oh!

[♪]