04x17 - Danny Converts

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hello, world, hear
the song that we're singin'

♪ Come on, get happy

♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We had a dream
we'd go travelin' together

♪ And spread a little lovin'
then we'd keep movin' on

♪ Somethin' always happens
whenever we're together

♪ We get a happy feelin'
when we're singin' a song

♪ Travelin' along there's
a song that we're singin'

♪ Come on, get happy

♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We'll make you happy ♪

Bye, Mom. Thanks for the ride.

It's okay. But how about
getting up a little earlier tomorrow,

quit dawdling in the shower.

Yeah, okay.

What's the matter?

Punky Lazaar's
coming. He'll see me.

So what?

So? Mom, I'm in
the seventh grade.

Nobody's mother drives them
to school, except Chicken Finley.

Sorry. Next time
I'll wear a beard.

All right, coast is clear.

Bye-bye.

Hey, Punky, wait up!

Hey, Danny.

Hi, Punky. Hey, did you finish
your algebra homework last night?

What's the answer for number ?

Hey, you're not listening.

Wow! Who's she?

Oh, that's Renee. She's new in
school. She's in my English class.

You know her?

Know her? She's crazy about me.

Hi, Renee.

Oh, hi, Harvey.

Okay. But I'll have a date
with her before you know it.

All I gotta do is put on
the old Partridge charm.

The secret is to find out
something we have in common.

Then, move in.

Say, we've got some great beaches
around here. Do you like surfing?

I don't know. I never tried it.

Oh.

Do you like music? Sure.

Who's your favorite
recording artist?

Van Cliburn.

Good morning, class. Would you turn
in your homework assignments, please?

Want some candy?

I'm allergic to chocolate.

Danny. If you don't
mind, it's my turn to talk.

Okay. Remember, Sunday
is our biology field trip.

That should be fun.

But it's also the
Jewish holiday, Purim.

So, I'd like to know how many
of you will have to be absent.

Tuna sandwiches for a boat ride?

What's wrong with tuna?

It smells too much
like the ocean.

Mom, have you
seen my blue jeans?

They're in the basket, I just
took them out of the dryer.

Tuna, again?

Laurie! Danny! Come to
breakfast. I want to get started.

Hey, Mom, do you like
this blouse with this skirt?

Well, yes, it looks very nice.

I think I'll change
to my blue one.

Sit down and eat.

And you're getting tuna
sandwiches whether you like it or not!

For breakfast?

Danny!

Coming.

Look, Renee, as long as
we're not going on the field trip,

why don't the two
of us go on a picnic?

Okay, we'll have a Purim
picnic. I'll bring the lunch.

At the temple? Oh, yeah,
that's just what I had in mind.

Danny!

Look, Renee, I gotta go.
My bagel's getting cold.

See you later, bye.

Is it too much effort
to sit down and eat?

Mom, would you rather have me go
without breakfast or without my pants?

Hi, what are you
making for lunch?

Tuna sandwiches.

Hey, great! Can I
have two of them?

Sure. You'll probably get
hungry on that field trip.

Yeah, so you'd
better make it four.

Four?

Yeah. And two apples and
a couple of pieces of cake.

Who are you gonna feed?

I'm growing up.

Not to mention out.

I love Purim, don't you?

Yeah, it's the greatest.

Especially the costumes.

I always went as Queen
Esther when I was little.

How about that?

What did you wear?

I went as one of
the wise men once.

We were poor, so I
borrowed it from a Christian.

Wait a minute, aren't you
gonna put on a yarmulka?

Oh, of course. How
did I forget about that?

Hey, let's go throw
bean bags at Hemen.

Why not?

All right, I'm
very good at this.

Oh, great sh*t.

Thank you. Hi, Dad.
This is Danny Partridge,

the boy I was telling you about.

Danny, this is my
father. Rabbi Stern.

Shalom, Daniel.

Shalom, sir. Rabbi.

Partridge?

It's a little unorthodox.

Danny's family
sings professionally.

Oh, that's wonderful. I'd like
to come by and meet them.

Actually, we're out a lot.

Okay, well, I'll phone first.

Ask for me.

I'm sort of their
social secretary.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, honey, how
was the field trip?

Oh, you know.

You've been on one field
trip, you've been on them all.

Well, I hope you didn't give
Mrs. Carlysle any problems.

Oh, no. She never
even said a word to me.

Well, that's a nice change.
Did you learn anything?

Yeah, I learned a lot of
things I never knew before.

I'll get it.

Hello? Oh, hi, Renee.

Hi, Danny, guess what? What?

Daddy's visiting some
people in your neighborhood,

and he said if he gets the chance,
he'll stop by and meet your family.

Thanks for warning... I mean,
telling me. I gotta go, bye.

Boy!

You know, Mom,
I've been thinking.

The reason this family
is in such bad shape is,

we don't get enough
exercise. Let's all go bowling.

Bowling? Bowling?

Boy! Hey, let's go!

Wait a minute, who is in bad
shape? What are you talking about?

Hey, great! You're just in
time. We're all going bowling.

No, we're all having dinner.

Okay, forget the bowling.

We'll go to an early
movie and we can eat later.

We'll leave right now.

Right now? I just
washed my hair.

It will take me at least
an hour to get ready.

Hey, Danny?

Not now, Keith.
Can't you see I'm...

Excuse me.

Where did you get that?

It was sticking out of your
notebook. Where did you get it?

It looked like rain,
so I borrowed a hat.

Not too convincing.
Care to try again?

It's none of your business.

Okay. Maybe Mom will
know where it came from.

Look, wait a minute.

I thought big brothers were
supposed to protect little brothers.

To comfort them, help
them in their hour of need.

You're right. Nah, it would
be more fun to ask Mom.

Okay. I ditched
the field trip today.

It's a Jewish holiday and I
sort of converted for a day.

It's too late. Our
rabbi is here.

Our rabbi?

If he doesn't hear anything,
maybe he'll go away.

Isn't somebody gonna
answer the door?

You've gotta help me.

Don't worry about a
thing. Come on. Come on.

Good afternoon, Mrs. Partridge.

Good afternoon.

I'm Ben Stern, the new
rabbi at Temple Heron.

How do you do?

I'm sorry to drop
by unannounced,

but I was visiting some
families in the neighborhood

and thought I'd say hello.

That's nice. Won't you come in?

Thank you.

Keith, this is Rabbi Stern.

How do you do,
Rabbi? Hello, Keith.

And this is my brother, Danny.

Oh, Danny! Danny.

Danny!

Danny, this is Rabbi Stern.

Hello, Danny, good
to see you again.

Hi, Rabbi Stern.

You've met?

Yes, today at the Purim bazaar.

Oh.

After the field trip.

Renee, the rabbi's daughter, she's
in my English class. I went with her.

You know how I love bazaars.

Especially Purim bazaars.

Would you like to
sit down, Rabbi?

Thank you.

Rabbi, why don't you sit
here? It's more comfortable.

I'll go see if there's any
cheese and crackers.

Cheese and crackers.

Who was at the door?

Oh, just some fellow
who puts on bazaars.

I think I left my
bicycle in the driveway.

Got to go get it,
put it in the garage.

It's nothing personal.

I understand your family
is in show business.

Yes. My daughter is
very impressed with that.

Well, we're all out of
cheese and crackers.

How about some coffee,
tea or a kosher dill?

Danny! Thank
you, nothing for me.

Hi, everybody. Hi, Reuben.

Just brought in your
mail. Nothing much.

Just some bills and a
picture of the family around...

Around December.

Some kids in my class asked
me to autograph it for them.

Rabbi Stern, this is our
manager, Reuben Kincaid.

How do you do, Mr. Kincaid?

Rabbi.

I know this is short
notice, but I wonder if

you would do us the favor of singing
at our temple party, Thursday night?

Oh, we couldn't do that.

Danny!

It's for the benefit of
underprivileged children.

Of course. We'd be glad to help.

Thank you. Well, we'll see
you Thursday then, about : .

Oh, and you're
invited, too, Mr. Kincaid.

Thanks.

Well, shalom.

Shalom.

Okay, what was that all about?

I don't know.

But I think I know
someone who does. Danny?

Well, I was throwing bean bags

and you know how you get talking
when you're throwing bean bags,

and I guess I mentioned
we were a singing group.

Why didn't you tell me about
it when you came home?

I guess, it just
slipped my mind.

Oh, sure, it could happen.

Why, plenty of
times I've met a pretty

girl, gone to a Purim
bazaar, met the rabbi,

and then come home
and had it all slip my mind.

♪ Now the walls took
a long time to crumble

♪ And the jumbled
pieces of my life

♪ Took the long way
around to come together

♪ And then I heard
you singing your song

♪ And I knew I'd
been living all wrong

♪ And I couldn't
help but sing along

♪ Never giving

♪ Always taking

♪ Faking every move I make

♪ To keep me safe
and well protected

♪ And then I heard
you singing your song

♪ And I knew I'd
been living all wrong

♪ And I couldn't
help but sing along

♪ Sing along

♪ Sing along

♪ I was almost down to empty

♪ And the world
looked mighty cold

♪ And then I heard
you sing a simple song

♪ And the sun came a
rushin' back to fill my soul

♪ Heard you singing your song

♪ Heard you singing your song

♪ Heard you singing your song

♪ Heard you singing your song

♪ Heard you singing your song

♪ Heard you singing your song

♪ Heard you singing your song

♪ Your song ♪ Your
song ♪ Your song ♪

Bye-bye.

Danny, I'd like you
to meet my mother.

How do you do? Hello, Danny.

That was beautiful. Thank you.

Was your father a cantor?

No, a Partridge.

Oh, Mrs. Partridge we'd
love you to join our sisterhood.

We meet Thursdays at : .

Excuse me.

Mom, I get the feeling
they all think we're Jewish.

No, where would they get that
idea? They're just being nice.

May I have your attention
for a minute, please.

First of all, I want to thank the Partridge
family for entertaining us tonight.

Thank you very much.

Secondly, my daughter tells me that
Daniel Partridge has just turned .

So, we can look forward to the
pleasure of attending his Bar Mitzvah.

Bar Mitzvah?

I met some pretty
interesting girls tonight.

I think we ought
to join the temple.

Oh, not me. I'd weigh a
ton with all that good food.

I liked the strudel.

I had three pieces.

Then how about going up
to sleep it off, both of you.

Oh, we always have
to go to bed first.

I've got to finish a
composition, see you.

I'm gonna take a bath.

And I guess you have to
study for your Bar Mitzvah.

Well, I... Out with it, Daniel.

You haven't called
me Daniel since...

Since the last time you
were in the lion's den.

Look, Mom, there isn't
anything to get excited about.

No?

What right do you have
taking off a Jewish holiday?

The Jewish people
take off Christmas.

I just wanted to be with Renee
and things sort of got out of hand.

And what about the Bar Mitzvah the
whole temple thinks you're going to have?

I think it would be kind of fun.
I hear you get a lot of presents.

All right, just thought a little
levity might be helpful at this point.

Danny, this isn't
a laughing matter.

Religion wasn't meant
to give you presents.

Now, tomorrow I want you to apologize
to Rabbi Stern and settle this whole thing.

Gee, Mom, can't you tell him?

Yes. But I don't need
the lesson. You do.

Rabbi Stern, as man to man,
let me clear something up.

I wanted a date with your
daughter, so I pretended to be Jewish.

No way!

Danny! Welcome.
Come in, come in.

Renee, Danny's here.

How nice of you to come by.

Thank you. How are
you? I'm fine, thank you.

I just made some cookies,
would you like some?

No, thanks. Hi, Danny!

Why didn't you tell me you were
coming over? Wanna play some records?

Hi, Renee. No, I came
over to see your father.

Oh, Ben, Danny's here.

Look, if he's busy...

Hi, Danny. Yes,
what can I do for you?

Well...

Dad, can Danny come
to Sabbath dinner tonight?

We'd love to have
your whole family.

Rabbi Stern, I have
something to say to you.

Yeah?

It's sort of a confession.

I forgot to turn in my
yarmulka at the Purim bazaar.

Oh, that's very kind
of you, Mrs. Stern,

but my whole family for dinner?
That's an awful lot of work.

Oh, no. No, we're not busy.

Thank you. We would love to.

Oh, by the way, did Danny
have a chance to speak

with the Rabbi this afternoon?

Oh, he did? Good.

All right, then, we'll
see you at : . Bye.

Well, I guess you heard. We're
invited to the Stern's for dinner.

I'm glad they weren't upset
when Danny told them.

Me, too.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Laurie.

Hi, kiddo. Hi, honey.

Well, I'm very proud of you.

I know it was very hard
for you to do what you did.

But I'm sure you'll
feel much better for it.

I want you to go
upstairs and change.

Mrs. Stern just called and
invited us all for Sabbath dinner.

She did?

Yes. She said you had a very nice
chat with the Rabbi this afternoon.

You did have a
chat with the Rabbi?

Danny, you didn't tell him?

I couldn't, they
were all so nice.

Do you realize the embarrassing
position you've put us all in?

Well, couldn't you phone and tell them
we all came down with the measles?

I will not.

Mom, we can't go.

Laurie, Mrs. Stern
is expecting us.

She's probably
preparing right now.

We can't insult her
by not showing up.

Couldn't you at least
phone first and explain?

This is something that has to be
explained face-to-face. And with your face.

Amen.

It's real wine.

Yeah.

Well, it all looks so good.
I don't know where to start.

We start with HaMotzi.

Oh, would you please
pass the HaMotzi?

HaMotzi is the
prayer over the bread.

Of course.

Mrs. Partridge, would you
be so good as to say it for us?

Rabbi Stern, I think I owe
you, all of you, an apology.

You see... Mom.

Let me tell them. It's
my fault, not yours.

Rabbi Stern, we're not Jewish.

I've been trying to tell you, but
you've all been so nice. I couldn't.

Can I have another sh*t of wine?

I met Renee and I wanted to
date her. Get to know her better.

And so when she raised
her hand to get off for Purim,

I raised mine, too.

Well, why not?

It's a happy holiday and
Renee's a beautiful girl.

Dad.

I shouldn't have
let it go this far.

I'm very sorry.

No, forget it.

The important thing is, we've
made some good new friends.

And you're welcome here.

Yes, we feel welcome.

I feel hungry.

Let's eat our gefilte fish.

Ben, you forgot HaMotzi.

You're right.

Hey, it's like grace.

You see, people aren't
as different as we think.

We may have different beliefs,
but we're all pretty much alike.

Amen to that.

Can we eat now?

Have you ever had
gefilte fish, Danny?

No, but it looks interesting.

Danny, be careful...

of the horseradish.

I think somebody
just paid him back.

Danny, are you sure you
don't want some ice cream?

No, thanks, it will
taste like horseradish.

That stuff's still with you?

It will be with me
for the rest of my life.

I gotta tell you, I had
a good time tonight.

Yeah, the Sterns
are really nice people.

I thought they'd be
angry when I told them.

Remember what the Rabbi
said, we're all pretty much alike.

The only thing
different was the dinner.

Oh, that noodle coogle.

And I liked the strudel.

I liked the knishes.

It really was a
wonderful experience.

You know, there are so many
different kinds of food we've never tried.

Russian food,
Japanese food, curry...

Polynesian food.

Right. I think we've
been missing something.

I have an idea.

Why don't we set one
night a week aside,

I'll hunt up some recipes and
prepare a different national food.

Yeah.

Sounds great.

What do we try first?

Hamburgers!