06x22 - To Quote a Dead Man

[bunniefuu]

Hey mister, you got change
of a half a dollar?

Yes.

Would you mind parting
with a quarter of it?

Thanks, mister.

You're a good scout.

I'm not leaving the country!

Why me?

Why do I have
to get out of the country?

Because those are
the instructions, Carlton.

Things get messy,
we follow instructions.

It was no fault of mine.

You know that.

I'm not leaving.

I don't make the rules, Carlton.

Barcus, someone has been
listening outside that window.

Now, I want you to bid us all
a cordial goodnight,

go outside,
and take care of that person.

It's a little late.

See you guys later.

Good morning.

Good morning.

May I help you?

You know, a day begun
with a kind word

always ends with a kind word.

You're in luck.

I'd like to see
Mr. Joseph Mannix, please.

May I have your name and I'll
see if Mr. Mannix is able...

Peggy, you better run down
the phone numbers...

Boston, coast-to-coast
and border-to-border.

All railroad tracks lead,
sooner or later, to Boston.

And that's me,
just plain Boston.

Joe Mannix.

Used to be Boston Boiler,

but everything's diesel now,
so I dropped the "Boiler.”

Well, is there something
I can do for you?

Indeed, there is.

You can save my vagabond life.

Oh...

Uh...

No, no, no, please.

I'm deadly serious.

I'd like to ask you to gamble
a few moments of your time.

That wouldn't be a fresh coffee,
would it?

Oh yes, would you like some?

And don't spoil it

with any extract of sugar cane
or cow, please.

Deadly serious, you say?

Oh yes, yes.

I might as well
start from scratch.

I haven't any.

Scratch, that is.

I suppose the fee
is one of the first things

that crosses your mind
when you take a case.

No, it's not the first,
but it's right up there.

Oh, thank you.

Joe?

No, thanks.

Oh, there's something
extravagant about coffee

that's only gone through
the grounds once.

Let me put it to you
this way, Mr. Mannix.

I would like to panhandle
your services for a spell.

Flat out, that's it.

Widows and orphans only.

Except under special
circumstances.

Widows and orphans will be
with us always, Mr. Mannix,

but I am the last
of a dying breed.

I'm offering you an opportunity

to preserve a touch
of Americana.

I am a hobo.

One of the last,
you may be sure.

Ah, I see I have touched
a chord of longing

that exists in all
red-blooded men.

Steel wheels on the steel rails,
free and moving

from Ft. Lauderdale to Seattle.

Well, I don't know about that.

But what it gets down to
is this, Mr. Mannix:

I'm offering you
a rare opportunity.

If this proposition
became public knowledge,

there are people who would
consider it your duty.

Uh, you say that you're
the last of a dying breed,

and that somebody is trying
to rush things.

Someone is trying to k*ll me,
that's a plain fact.

Oh.

Anyone with a reason?

I haven't laid a straw
in anyone's way in years.

Just how are they trying
to k*ll you?

g*nshots.

I was walking up th Street,
on my way to Marcel's.

The restaurant?

Yes, it was almost time
for the nightly backdoor buffet.

Marcel, as you know,

is very generous
with his unclaimed entrees.

I was about a block away
and I heard this noise.

I thought at first, of course,

that it was the backfire
of some passing automobile,

but then I noticed
the pungent odor of g*n smoke.

You see, backfires don't cause
b*llet holes, Mr. Mannix.

Are you sure they were
sh**ting at you?

Well, as there was no one else

within a block of me
at the time,

I jumped to that
conclusion, yes.

A sh*t in the dark.

That's really not
very much to go on.

Would it help to know
that this is not the first time

that foul play
has been attempted?

You mean somebody tried
to k*ll you before?

Not me.

Gully Anderson, Old Steam
Whistle, as he was known,

rest his soul.

He was k*lled?

Cheap whisky and a rainy night
in St. Louis.

Pneumonia.

That would have been
three weeks ago Tuesday.

What has that got to do
with your being sh*t at?

Well, Gully was sh*t at
in the same neighborhood

just before bad weather
and bad habits done him in.

That's a dangerous world
for hobos, Mr. Mannix.

I'd like you to find out why.

Oh.

I'll tell you what, Boston.

Stanton Elliot Collier
for your files.

You will start a file?

Well, I will canvas the area for
you and check with the police,

but I'm afraid that's about
the best I can do.

Well, that's all I can ask:
your best.

Well, I suggest that you get
back to where you're staying...

I'll give you a lift.

Al right.

But first, I have
an engagement for brunch

at the Hollywood Bowl.

It was an old
Tchaikovsky program last night.

After a rock concert,

there's nothing left
but empty potato chip sacks

and "no deposit” bottles.

But after a Tchaikovsky program,

well, the picnic remains
are strictly dining car fare.

Oh, Boston, you're back!

Just in time!

I'd day that I've
employed Mr. Mannix

on behalf of all of us,
right, Mr. Mannix?

You might say.

Well, I sure hope
you find them, buddy.

Any goodies?

Oh yeah, in that bag
right there.

You know, if the streets
ain't safe for a hobo,

they ain't safe for...

At least you know
I'm not feeding you

some gandy dancer yarn, Joseph.

Someone's aiming to k*ll me.

And this all took place during
a brunch at the Hollywood Bowl?

Well, there was a Tchaikovsky
program last night,

and the food the next day
is a real banquet.

And Boston here has no idea who
might be taking potshots at him?

None whatsoever.

Total enigma.

An old enemy,
maybe, from another town?

Another time?

I only have old friends,
no old enemies.

There seems to be
a pattern, Art.

One of Boston's friends was sh*t
at a couple of blocks away

about a month ago.

No complaint
that I can remember.

Gully wasn't much
of a complainer.

Gully?

Gully Anderson.

All right, Joe.

I'll go back over the squad
sheet if you want.

In the meantime,

I'll keep Boston here
in protective custody

until I can do some checking.

Locked up?

I'd rather be dead.

From what you've told me,
that may be your second choice.

No jail cells, never.

Bad for the digestion.

I'll find the place, Art.

If that complaint file turns up
anything, I'd appreciate a call.

Sure thing, Joe.

Of all of the troubles
in Ireland,

whisky is the least of them.

Thank you, Ruby, we'll be over
in a little while.

All right, Boston,
anytime you're ready.

Ruby Preston has a room
you can use for a day or two.

It's against my nature, Joseph,
to be cooped up like that.

It isn't against your nature
to stay alive.

Now, if you hired me
to keep you alive,

you've got to give an inch
or two here and there.

Well, could we at least stop by
the camp and pick up my bindle?

Your what?

Bindle!

Bedroll.

What do they teach you
in school these days?

You're not going to need
a bindle at Ruby's.

The sheets and pillowcases
come with the room.

Ah, sheets and pillowcases.

Gully would have rolled over
in his grave

if he'd known there was
a b*llet hole in his coat...

What'd you say?

Mink or sable never got
the care this coat did.

Are you telling me that this
isn't your coat, it's Gully's?

Well, it's mine now
by inheritance.

Gully left it to me.

You said Gully was sh*t at
a few weeks ago.

Did he say exactly where?

In the alley.

Gully was always first in line
for the : goodies.

At Marcel's backdoor buffet?

Exactly.

He was a bit early,
just idling about,

glancing across to that office
with the men in it,

just standing there,
counting the toes in his shoes.

And then this fellow
came at him with a g*n.

And Gully was wearing this coat?

Day and night.

He only took it off to die.

Boston, it's entirely possible
that whoever is sh**ting at you

isn't sh**ting at you at all.

They're sh**ting at this coat.

We'll just leave this here.

I've got a windbreaker upstairs
you can use.

Windbreaker?

Yeah, that coat
could get you k*lled.

There, the window,
exactly as Gully described it.

The only person who'd
use this as an office

is a janitor.

Four men, smartly dressed.

That's what Gully said.

One of them came out
and took sh*ts at him

as he ran up the alley.

I don't think Gully
would have made it up.

He was rather shy
on imagination,

meaning no offense
to the departed, of course.

Exactly how long ago was this?

July , Bastille Day.

Marcel always puts little
red, white, and blue flags

on his French pastries.

Gully got run off without
his decorated Napoleon.

Yeah.

Maybe Marcel
can tell us something.

You know Marcel?

Ever since he was a busboy
at Romanoff's.

Joseph.

How long has it been, huh?

Since the trout meringue
went up to $..

Supply and demand, Joseph.

Marcel, I'd like you to meet
Stanton Collier.

Pleasure.

Have we met, Mr. Collier?

Not inside.

Marcel, that building
across the alley...

was there ever an office
on the ground level?

Next to the alley?

Uh-huh.

You knew Carlton West?

Carlton West?

It was his office,
until he closed it--

Boom--

Permanently.

Carlton West, stocks and bonds.

Mm-hmm.

There was a something
a little...

Crooked?

Carlton West committed su1c1de.

There was some talk
about stolen securities.

It happened, let's see...

On Bastille Day?

Yes.

You also knew Carlton West?

We had a mutual acquaintance.

Marcel?

Excuse me, please.

The sauce.

When I was a boy,
I had a blooded hunting dog

that had that same look
when he got the scent.

You know, maybe
your friend Gully

overheard something in that
office he shouldn't have.

Well, not likely.

Gully was a fountain of gossip.

He'd have spouted.

Well, then maybe
someone in that office

thought he overheard something,

and it was important enough
to try and silence him.

All they saw clearly
was that overcoat.

Well, as sure as rain,
I'm going to keep that coat.

Finest garment I ever owned.

Now look, Boston,
I want you to do me a favor.

You wear that windbreaker

until I can find out why Gully's
coat turned into a target.

I send you out to hit a lousy
hobo, what do you do?

You break up some crummy picnic!

I thought I had a clear sh*t.

The hunting is going
to get more difficult.

The old guy
has taken his troubles

to this private cop, Mannix.

I want that old guy
found and eliminated.

Mannix must have him
stashed someplace

until he can check out
his story.

Put the word out

to every fleabag in a flophouse
in the area:

there's $, in it

for anybody who can finger
that old guy in the coat.

Boston?

What line are you in?

I am a hobo, madam.

That'll be two dollars
up front, Joe.

Is this really necessary?

It is.

, upstairs.

I tell you, Joseph,
I know a nice, cozy boiler room

that beats this place
all hollow.

Forget it, Boston.

You're going to stay here
and keep your head down

while I go out and check
on Mr. West's su1c1de.

If I have to stay here any
length of time, I may join him.

There's a very good chance
that whoever's gunning for you

may recognize you on sight now,
with or without that coat,

so you stay put.

I'll catch up with you
in the morning.

In the morning,
I may well be dead

from breathing the foul air
in this place.

Carlton West was doing
a flourishing business

in stocks and bonds
that didn't belong to him.

A warrant issued
for his arrest on July ...

he k*lled himself
the same night.

Why su1c1de?

I mean, the papers say
there's a small fortune missing.

Now, what ever happened to South
America as a retirement spot

for guys with a suitcase
full of hot money?

Joe, su1c1de is not
a rational act.

We don't explain them;
we just record them.

I don't suppose that record
explains what happened

to the missing money, either.

What are you getting at?

Well, there's millions
in stolen securities.

Someone has got to be a pretty
fat cat right about now.

An operation that big usually
takes more than one man.

Not necessarily.

Our experience shows

that a su1c1de is someone
who is desperate, desolate,

with a sense of being all alone.

Is that what
the su1c1de note says?

Yeah, pretty much.

"There's no other way out.

I cannot bear for you
to live in years of disgrace.”

Routine last words.

Let me see that note.

This was typed.

Yeah.

It was still in his typewriter,
next to his desk in his study.

Why?

Well, su1c1de is not
a rational act, Art,

but it is very personal.

Now, don't you think he would
have written this note?

People do funny things

when they're going to take
their own lives, Joe.

But the coroner's report
was plain and simple.

Cause of death:

contact g*nsh*t wound
in the right temporal area.

Approximate time of death
between : and : p.m.

July .

Who did he leave
the note for?

His wife.

Mrs. West found her husband when
she came home from the theater.

There was one close friend
that took it hard,

a certain Burt Sands.

Why Burt Sands?

Mr. Sands' portfolio of
stocks and bonds

was the one that West
had been dipping into.

For about a half
a million dollars.

Well, I'd say that would
make him an instant mourner.

Do you have an address
on Mrs. West?

Yeah.

I'll say this for you, Joe:

you've got a wide range
of clients.

One day a hobo comes in, the
next day you're on Wall Street.

Well, who knows, Art?

Maybe Boston and Mrs. West

have a lot more in common
than we think.

Thank you.

I don't mean to appear
uncooperative, Mr. Mannix.

It's just that I still find it
very painful to talk about.

I understand.

Mrs. West, I can't help
wondering,

was your husband accustomed
to typing things?

Yes, memos and notes
occasionally.

He always had a typewriter
in the study.

His secretary did the reports
and the letters,

things like that.

That's funny...

One of the detectives
asked the same thing.

Then he said...

he said,

"People sometimes do strange
things under stress.”

Of course,
that could explain it.

Did you have any idea at all

that your husband was in
that kind of trouble?

No.

I still find it hard to believe.

Carlton always wanted the very
best of everything.

The terrible thing I have
to live with

is the thought that he wanted it
more for me than for himself.

Tell me, are you still on
speaking terms with Burt Sands?

Why, certainly.

Why?

Well, he was one of
the principal victims

of your husband's
business venture.

He's a very good friend.

He was just a shaken as I was

that Carlton would do
such a thing.

He's been very understanding,
considering the circumstances.

Of course.

Well, thank you very much
for seeing me, and...

don't bother,
I'll let myself out.

Good night.

Good night.

Boston?

Hey, Boston, it's me, open up.

Do something for you?

You can throw that log
back on the fire.

I'm looking for Boston.

You're on the wrong coast,
mister.

It's okay, boys.

Come on in, Joseph.

Boston, I thought I told you
to stay put.

Staying put is not in my nature.

Besides, there was
a suspicious-looking character

who was watching that place
you had me imprisoned in.

Can we talk here?

Oh, Whistle Spout and Wood
Trestle are old friends

from Coolidge days.

Well, what kind of suspicious
character?

Well, this dude,
I saw him out the window

when I got up this morning.

What made him look suspicious?

Clean fingernails
and matching socks.

Now, don't worry, Joseph.

This is the safest place
there is.

You couldn't have taken
two steps in here

without my calling your name.

I supposed you noticed that.

Yeah, I noticed.

Well, how's my coat?

Taking good care of it?

Your coat is fine, Boston.

How's yo! u r memory

My memory is a clear track back
to the day I was weaned.

Well, think back, Boston.

Now, did your friend Gully

tell you exactly what time
of night it was

that he saw those four men
in that office?

He didn't have to.

It was :, give or take
a couple of minutes.

You sure?
I'm positive.

Marcel's chef
turns off the stove

and puts out the leftovers
at exactly :.

Never varies.

Union, probably.

That must be it.

You have that hunting dog look
on your face again, Joseph.

Carlton West must have been
one of the men that Gully saw

in the office that night.

Gully wouldn't know Carlton West
from the Statue of Liberty.

But the men tried to k*ll Gully,
and now you, don't know that.

They think there's
a witness on the loose

that can place Carlton West
in that office alive at :

on the night he was supposed
to have committed su1c1de.

You don't think
he k*lled himself?

No.

I can't prove it.

If you can't prove it, who can?

Your friend Gully
might have been able to do it,

but the police aren't going
to take the word of a dead man.

I've got to find some way

to make West's K*llers
do it for us.

Look, Boston, I want you
to stay here,

and don't let anyone
in this place.

Anyone who's got matching socks,
that is.

Joseph!

Take care of my coat.

Carlton West's story reads like
poor boy makes good,

then turns bad.

Give it all to me, Peg.

Born in Los Angeles,
both parents are dead.

Joined the Navy at .

Attended Benton Business School
for two years.

Went into the brokerage business
eight years with one firm.

Been on his own ever since.

On his own, and doing nicely,
in the cleaning business.

Huh?

Laundering stolen securities

runs into the millions
every year.

What did you get on Burt Sands?

Travels a lot.

Inkster Travel Service
in his building.

Books them in and out of New
York like he was a commuter.

Stock market business?

I can't find a brokerage house
that's ever heard of him.

Hmm.

Joe, do you think Burt Sands

was feeding Carlton West stocks
that needed laundering?

What did I say?

You said Carlton West
served in the Navy.

What rank?

Yeoman, second class.

A yeoman's a seagoing clerk,
like a secretary.

He had to know how to type.

So?

So, West had to be
a touch typist.

Well, there it is Joe,
the last words of Carlton West.

What are you looking for?

Barney, I want
an expert's opinion.

Was that su1c1de note
typed by a trained typist?

No, no way, Joe.

Hunt and peck.

Like this.

One finger at a time.

See the even pressure
on the line?

That's hunt and peck,

hitting the keys
with all the same force.

Now... here's the same letter
with touch typing,

courtesy of Molly down the hall.

Touch typing,

that's when you use all
the fingers on the same hand.

Except, trouble is,

the little fingers aren't
as strong as the others,

and so the keys that they strike

tend to be a little lighter
than the others.

Look at this.

The "a" and the "P.”

They're lighter.

That's touch typing.

This is hunt and peck.

The "a" and the "P"
are no different.

So the su1c1de note
in West's typewriter

was done by hunt and peck.

Right.

Adding up to what?

Carlton West was a yeoman
in the Navy, trained in typing--

Touch typing.

Come on, Joe,
that was years ago.

Now look, typing is like riding
a bike or playing a piano.

You never really forget.

Exactly what did
your hobo friend tell you

that makes you think Carlton
West did not k*ll himself?

I think one of Boston's friends

saw West alive and well
miles from home

at the moment he was supposed
to be committing su1c1de.

Where is this friend?

I'd like to talk to him.

No chance, Art.

Why not?

He's in Potter's Field,
St. Louis.

Then whoever is sh**ting
at Boston

has mistaken him
for the dead witness.

Right.

Great, we've got a case where
the only witness is dead.

Yeah, but Carlton West's K*llers
don't know that,

and what they don't know

just might make them nervous
enough to get careless.

But that's absurd.

You have no right to come here

and t*rture me
with some wild conjecture.

It's not just wild conjecture,
Mrs. West.

The police have been
all over this.

Well, the police didn't know

that there was someone
who saw your husband downtown,

alive at :
the night he d*ed,

which hardly gave him enough
time to drive way out here,

type a su1c1de note, and k*ll
himself at his own desk.

Then why don't you tell all this
to the police?

The police are checking
the su1c1de note right now,

Mrs. West.

It was typed by an amateur.

Hunt and peck.

Now, your husband
was a touch typist.

Surely you can't think
I knew anything about this?

I only thought you should know

that whoever k*lled your husband
tried to k*ll again,

to silence the only witness,
and, if necessary,

he might k*ll anyone
to cover up his tracks.

I don't know anything.

I don't know anything at all.

Well, if Burt Sands is such an
old friend, maybe he can help.

Carlton West was one of
my oldest and dearest friends,

Mr. Mannix.

For an old, dear friend,
he cost you quite a bit.

If he'd only come to me
and explained,

I would have been happy
to help him out

of any of his
financial difficulties.

Stolen securities are not
financial difficulties,

Mr. Sands.

They're a felony.

Grand theft.

Well, I wouldn't know
anything about that.

Carlton managed a modest
portfolio for me, that's all.

I don't know how to tell
you this, Mr. Sands,

but I have information
that indicates

West didn't k*ll himself.

He was m*rder*d.

You must be joking.

No, I'm not.

But that's incredible.

The su1c1de note,
the autopsy report,

the police said
there was no question.

Mrs. West had the very same
reaction when I told her.

You've talked to her?

Yes, about a half hour ago.

She was very upset.

You see, the police
can now place Carlton West

far from the so-called
su1c1de scene,

about the time it was supposed
to have happened.

But who would k*ll him?

Somebody with a lot more than
a modest portfolio at stake.

Mr. Mannix,
if you find anything

to prove what you've
just been telling me,

I'd be more than happy to pay
you double your usual fee.

I think I owe that much
to Carlton and to Ellen.

Thank you, Mr. Sands,
but I have a client.

However, if I do turn up
anything new,

I'll be glad to keep you
informed.

Well, I'd be grateful,
Mr. Mannix, most grateful.

Put a tap
on Ellen West's phone, now.

I want to have her followed.

What's up?

Mannix has been
to see her again.

Why would she talk?

She made a clean million
out of this.

I think he may have
shook her up a little.

I don't want to take
any chances.

I want to know who she calls,

everything she says,
every place she goes.

We'll have a tape running
in less than an hour.

Yes?

Yes, go ahead.

Speak plainly.

Look, I'm claiming the $,.

But you'll have to pay me first,

because he ain't wearing
that coat no more.

I'll have to point him out
to you.

$,, small bills.

Okay?

Uh-huh.

You sure?

Thanks, Lefty.

If you need anything else,
let me know.

Lefty?

He runs a used
hubcap business downtown.

There's a street price of $,
on your friend Boston

for anyone that can
put the finger on him.

Boston's got a phone now?

Lt. Malcolm, please.

Art, do me a favor.

Send one of your
black and whites

to meet me at the hobo camp,
under the trestle.

Boston's going
to eat jailhouse chow

for the next couple of days
whether he likes it or not.

And Art, it wouldn't hurt to put
a stakeout on Mrs. West's home.

Suddenly she's a very
frightened lady,

and if she's involved,

instinct tells me she's going
to make a run for it.

Okay, he's in the 'bo camp
right now,

but he ain't wearing that coat.

He's got on a kind of
a new blue windbreaker.

Yeah.

His name is Boston.

I ain't going back
in there again,

but I gave you what you wanted.

He better be in there.

Oh, he's there all right.

Yes, sir.

I've seen him myself.

Okay.

Get the money.

$,, eh?

Buy a cellar full of wine.

That's a mighty handsome
proposition.

Jail, eh?

Look, Boston, it'll only be
for a couple of days.

We've got to keep you
out of sight.

If you say so, Joseph.

As long as you keep track
of the keys.

Now, don't turn around.

Look, Boston,
when I give you the word,

I want you to get
behind that truck...

Now!

Take care of Mannix.

I'll get the bum.

Boston!

All right, drop it.

The last the boys
heard off the tap,

she ordered a cab for :.

Did she call an airline?

She could have earlier,
not since I put the tap on.

She blows town now when Mannix
is starting things up,

the police are going to start
asking questions all over again.

So what do we do?

We go for a little drive and see
where that cab's taking her.

I'm forever in your debt,
Joseph.

You've made me a free man again.

Not quite, Boston.

That hired g*n isn't going
to give anything

but his name, rank,
and serial number,

which means all Carlton West's
k*ller has to do

is sit tight and then try again.

Mannix.

Joe, our stakeout arrived
just in time

to see Mrs. West leave,
bag and baggage.

He called in,
looks like she's headed

to the Valley airport.

Stop her.

For what?

Taking a vacation
is not against the law.

Flying to avoid prosecution is.

Meet me at the airport.

Boston, you stay here.

Southeastern
Airways, Flight ,

now arriving at Gate .

Southeastern Airways, Flight
, now arriving at Gate .

Flight from Cheyenne will be
arriving in minutes

at Gate Three.

Biddle!

Take the elevator.

Hold it!

All right, Sands.

Leave the lady and step out.

There you are, Art.

You'll find Mrs. West's
vacation plans very interesting.

I think she'll talk now.

I decided not to get
this b*llet hole fixed.

It should be good for hours
of undivided attention

around campfires from here to
Saskatchewan, wouldn't you say?

I'd say so,
wear it in good health.

Where you headed, Boston?

Well, I'll tell you, dear lady.

Now that I'm free and clear
to stay here in L.A.,

I think I'll take off
to other parts.

It's the way I am.

That'd make sense.

Well, of course it does, Joseph.

You're catching on.

You're catching on real good.

If ever you decide
to hit the road,

don't forget to look up
old Boston.

Well, better go.

There's my cab leaving now.

I'll send you a picture
postcard, children.

Joe, you didn't
happen to borrow

ten dollars from me
this morning, did you?

No.

But you paid
him back for me?