01x10 - Live Performance Show #1

[bunniefuu]

- Deena definitely
has a crush on Pauly,

and deena can die happy now.

- I feel like we're very close,
and you can tell me anything.

- Like very, very close.
- Mm-hmm.

- Me and Snooki were drunk
one night in L.A.,

and we sorta had sex.

We've hooked up before,

and I care for you
more than a friend.

Three weeks.

I'm gonna have
a very nice guest.

- So Ron has a backup chick.
Her name is Hannah.

Ron is going to fly
this girl out.

- Ronnie was so funny
last night.

He's like, "I've got like
five girls

coming to the house
right now."

Dj Pauly delvecchio!

- I'm going to the Jersey shore,
bitch!

- All right,
we got a situation.

- I'm the sweetest bitch
you'll ever meet.

- After I have sex with a guy,
I will rip their heads off.

Go Vinny! Go Vinny!

You like the boobs?

If you wanna have fun
and do something crazy

my mistakes
- I need my shirt.

Something I remember when
- I'll be right back.

Just stay right there.

I have to call a cab.
remember when

it goes...

Just go.

- Brittany is one of the most
dtf chicks I've ever met,

and now I'm just like
exhausted.

- What up, snook?
- Do you wanna go to the gym with me?

- I need to eat something.
- You wanna go get something

- and then go to the gym?
- Yeah, that's fine.

It's almost like me and snook
are alike right now.

We're dedicated to working out.

We're dedicated to drinking
and having a good time.

- You got a map?
- You're asking me?

I get lost in a paper bag.
It's you.

- This is gonna be fun.
- I don't know how

to read the map.

I'm supposed to be
wearing glasses.

But I'm not doing that,
because I'll look really ugly.

Um...

Wait. It's not this block.

This isn't the street.
- I'm gonna punch you.

- I'm gonna punch myself.
There's no numbers.

, ...
We're going the wrong way.

- Right?
- This is embarrassing.

- Yeah, we gotta go this way.
- I can't read a map.

Ron can't read a map

because, you know...
Ron's Ron.

- . Let's just walk,
and we'll see a restaurant.

Oh, wait, here we go.
Sit outside.

Ciao. Can I have
a sparkling water?

- I'm getting wine.
Pinot grig?

- You're gonna drink
and then go work out?

- Of course.
Wine in Italy for me

is legit like a cup of
coffee for normal people.

So when are you going out
to dinner with Sam?

- I know she's gonna
want to talk tonight.

If we go out, I'm not doing it.

- Yeah.
- Not gonna...

- Do it tomorrow.
It's definitely needed, though.

I just feel like
they're meant for each other.

Them fighting and like
kissing and making up,

I mean,
that's just Ron and Sam.

I mean,
it's so weird without it.

- I miss her...You know.
I broke up with her in January.

And you guys didn't have sex?

We gotta do it the right way.

Just like [Bleep] Already.

I want you guys to have sex.

- Before it was like,
get away from each other,

now she's like,
"just [Bleep] Already."

- Yeah. 'Cause I know
you both want to.

You trust her?
- I'm getting there.

I just don't wanna fall back
into the same pattern

that happened in Jersey.

Me and Sam,
we're avoiding the conversation

that, like, we need to have,

and either be like,
are you moving on,

am I moving on?
Are there feelings there?

Are we gonna explore
Italy together?

- Well, you take her out
to dinner tomorrow.

- Yeah.
We'll see what happens.

I love this cafe.

Grazie.

- Deena is on a mission
to find a frickin' Italian man.

And I'm gonna do it.

Ciao. Good.
How are you?

- You speak italia?
- I know little words.

You say just grazie?

- I know grazie.
I know prego.

He's cute.
- You want me to be

your wing woman?

Deena needs love.

So we're on a mission
to find her

like the number one
Italian husband.

- Do you have a girlfriend?
- No.

- Oh, nice!
- You're lying!

My waiter's a lean cuisine.

But he has a nice smile,
straight teeth.

Perfecto.

Do you have a phone number?
- Yeah.

- Do you want me to have
your phone number?

- Ellis.

- Oh, Ellis.
- Ellis.

- Grazie.

So I'll call you tonight.

From the minute I left home,

I said I wanna find a cute
Italian lean cuisine

that speaks good English
and understands me.

- Ciao.
- Ciao.

He may be a good match for you.

- He actually speaks well
English.

Yeah.

Ready, snook?

- This way.
- This way?

I don't know.

- I don't know what
the [Bleep] You're saying.

Bella?
- Beautiful.

- Me?
- Yeah.

Grazie!

Huh?

Even though I didn't know what
the instructor was saying...

I got a good workout.

Eew! I feel your weiner!
- Okay.

- I feel your weiner.
I'm not kidding.

Ron, shut up.
- A little creepy.

Grr!

Unh!

- Wine.
Bleh.

Ron, he like almost
touched my.

- He's nice, he's just creepy.
- Very creepy.

- Ciao.
- Ciao. Grazie.

- Ciao.
- Now it's time to get drunk.

It's :....

At , you better meet me
at the foosball table.

- You don't want
none of this, brother.

You don't wanna ruin
your night already.

- Oh!
- Oh, I got that a-going!

Pauly.

- What?
- Are we walking or cabbing?

- We're not the leaders.
Why are you asking us?

You guys are jerks.

- Yo, run it back, son.
- We gotta go do our thing.

- Yo, we can play for like
two hours,

and they still won't be ready.

I got my mind

Okay, grazie.

- What's that mean?
- The taxis are here.

- Hey!
- Is your girlfriend.

Coming out tonight, Michael?

She said that her twin sister

wants to join
in the festivities.

That's just disgusting.

- It's
Every guy's dream.

Now that you're
independent

hey, the best
I've ever seen

you wanna be
the best in the land

problems are something
that you need

and you know it's true

Oh, God, where are my girls?

Oh, my God.
Twilight zone.

- Bellissima.
- Ahh!

If I have a boyfriend,
I'm gonna be loyal to you.

I'm still gonna go out
and have a good time.

Grazie.
But I'm committed now,

so I party a different way.

Whoo! I was about to
slap you in the face!

Ronnie is being awesome.

He's having fun,
living his life.

Ronnie's being the Ronnie
that I fell in love with.

Look what I found!
Look what I found.

- Where were you?
- I wandered.

- I'm not jealous.
I'm not anything.

I just want you to have
fun in Florence, Italy.

Ya know?
- Okay. That's fine.

I am having fun.
You having fun?

Yeah, but I miss you.

I'm not going anywhere.

Listen, I'm good to you.

- Why do you always want to
have this conversation

when we're drunk?

- Tomorrow afternoon.
I promise you.

- Wanna go on the dance floor?
- Hell, yeah.

- Yeah!
- Aah!

I see Ellis, and I'm like...

Yay!

Like he's cute out of
his little waiter uniform.

You're so cute!
Right here.

- Wow, he showed up for her.
I'm actually glad.

Where's deena?

- I thought deena
was over there.

Aah!

- Deena the whole night
is just Jersey turnpiking him,

making out with him,

totally clubbing it up
in the club tonight.

- Firenze!
- Firenze!

Wait.
Is firenze in Florence?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

I have to sleep in your bed,

'cause deena's
In my room!

- Wait a second.
I'll be right back.

If you guys [Bleep] A girl,

I wouldn't give a!

- Mike told people
about what you guys did.

Oh...

Dude!

I see that.
Twinning.

- We're twins.
- Are you really?

How old are you?

- When you got twins,
it's cool.

I mean, so you're winning.

But you're twinning,
'cause you got two twin chicks.

- I guarantee that I'll bring
you and your sister home.

I pretty much tell
Brittany and Erica

that they're definitely
coming home with The Situation.

It's just walk away
and meet me later, okay?

And that is my backup plan.

Don't go that way.
Don't go that way.

- Why?
- The twins are that way.

- Aah! Deena!
She's making out.

Where's the exit?

- Deena, come on.
Let's go.

You wanna come?
- Yeah.

Okay, let's go.

- I had a girl
waiting for me outside.

What the?

I might as well jump
in this [Bleep] Cab right now

and call Brittany
when I get [Bleep] Back.

- How do you say, like,
an easy girl?

- Easy girl?
Okay. Semplice.

- I'm not that.
- Okay, okay, I know, I know.

I just wanna cuddle.

- And kiss?
- Mm-hmm.

Kissing is allowed.

- Right here.
Come.

- Yo. She wants to
get it in.

- Snooki, can I just
use the phone one second

just to ask a question?
- No. I'm talking to my father.

Shut up.
- Oh. Oh, my God.

All I want is just
ten... ten seconds.

- All right, dad,
I'll call you back

after Mike tries tget
his Booty call in.

Thank you, thank you.

Come here.
No, stop.

I love you.
Come here, stand up.

I'm not standing up.

Call your girl, and that's it.

No. Stop. Stop.

- Whoa.
Eew.

- I love you.
- All right, call her.

- I don't really want
to call her.

I really want you, but...

- I don't know what
you're trying to do right now,

but...I'm not in it at all.

- I really do care about you.
You know that.

It's just because
you have a boyfriend

I'm calling other girls.

Mike, shut up.

- If you didn't have
a boyfriend,

it'd be different.
- Mike, you're crazy.

- You know, I love Mike,
he's my friend,

but I'm not gonna
hook up with Mike.

I think he knows that,

and he's just trying
to start drama.

- Brittany, call me back
when you get this message.

I just got home.
All right, bye.

Oh, yeah, get it in!

- We'll be right here
eating popcorn

while you guys get it in.
- Leave them alone!

- We'll be right here!
- We'll be right here.

Deena, we're leaving.
We're leaving.

- Okay, no.
So Bella.

- Smush room,
not [Bleep] This room.

- I come off as like
a hard exterior

and like I can take when
the boys pick on me.

Now I'm like...
I am very sensitive.

- Do your thing!
- I'm gonna [Bleep] k*ll them.

- Yo, I have to sleep
in your bed,

'cause deena's
In my room!

Stop being a hater, son.

- Bro, it's called
the smush room, dude.

- Where the
Am I supposed to sleep?

- Just wait one second.
Wait one second.

I'll be right back.

First of all,
I'm not doing sex,

so [Bleep] Get real.

- Well, stop wasting his time
then.

- I'm just [Bleep] Cuddling
with this guy,

so don't talk.

- Cuddling with him
in the smush room!

- I should never room...
- Go!

- Go! Get the
Out of here!

She walks in and!

- I'm waiting outside for you
to go cuddle with the dude.

- It's my room too!
- So go get your dude and...

Okay, so don't talk!

- Why am I fighting with
the [Bleep] Wall right now?

Don't [Bleep] Talk to me!

- How disrespectful are you?
- What's the problem?

I'm sleeping on a bench here!

- If you guys [Bleep] A girl,
I wouldn't give a!

I wouldn't give a!

- I'm sleeping on a bench
for you right now.

I don't give a!

- Stop it.
She likes this person.

Sorry. I hate them.

- I'm gonna go home.
- No, you don't go home.

No, you don't go home.
- Why I don't go home?

No, 'cause you stay with me.

- Hello?
- Is Mike there?

Huh?

- Is Mike there?
- Um...

Pronto.

- This is Brittany.
- Oh, what's up, girl?

This is Vinny.
Check this out.

I'm madly, deeply
in love with you.

Is Mike there?

Excuse me?

After all I just told you?

This relationship's through.

Idiot.

Mike, Brittany called.

- Hello.
- Hi, is Mike there?

- Who's calling?
- Brittany.

Who was that?

- Brittany.
- Are you kidding me?

- Mike, can we change
our number?

- I think we have a new stalker,
and she's twins.

Oh,.

Yo, Ronnie,
you gotta get the phone, bro.

- All right, you want me
to do it?

- Pronto.
- What are you doing?

Hold on.

- Yeah, The Situation.
- What?

- It's Mike.
- Oh, hi.

What are you doing?

These [Bleep] Stalker twins
keep calling the house

for Mike, so I decided
to play a prank on Mike.

- Are you guys gonna
hang out with me?

- Yeah, we can hang out
if you want.

Um...
- Um...

- Come with your sister
and meet me at the house.

Like an hour?
- Okay, that sounds good.

Okay.
- Bye-bye.

- Is she really coming?
- She's really gonna come.

- Yeah, buddy.

Mike is in bed
sleeping right now.

He has no idea
what's about to happen.

I didn't think Ronnie
had it in him,

but he came up
with a good prank.

Okay, let's go.
We can go eat.

- I turn around and I see...
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

The twins.

I get to walk in the middle.

- If you're gonna try
for something,

two hot twins and a threesome's
worth trying for.

Well, we can start now.

Deena.

- What the hell goes on
in this house?

- I was waiting for you.
- I'm sorry, babe.

I "misses" you.
- I didn't go out.

- You didn't?
- No.

- What the?
- What?

- What the hell?
- What are you saying?

Nothing.

Why are they here right now?

It's daytime.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Guess who?

Um...

I turn around,
and I see the twins.

- The twins.
- Hey, guys, how are you?

And I was like,
oh, my God, they found me.

Wow. Um, I didn't even
say hello to you.

Hi.
- Hi.

You told me to come in an hour.

I feel bad you're not ready.

- No, that's okay.
Hi.

- Hey.
- How are you?

- Good.
- Uh, yeah. You know what?

Um, if you guys want,
you can wait, um, in here.

I have no idea
how they got there,

but, uh, I just go
with the flow and say,

"all right, girls, I guess
we're going out for breakfast."

Pronto, pronto.

- Chill right here and just
give me a couple of minutes

to get dressed.

I'm so confused right now.

- How's your beard?
What's up, buddy?

Yo, jenni.

Oh...

Yeah.

Dude, who did this?

- I was getting dressed,
and all of a sudden

the two twins walked in,
and I'm like,

I didn't like invite 'em.

I mean, I don't remember,
you know, inviting them.

- She's crazy.
Like, they're really waiting.

- I know they are.
- On the couch, waiting.

I know they are.

- She wants to know where
she can put her toothbrush.

- Thanks, dog.
- You're welcome, homey.

- I'll be honest with you,
twins are not a bad deal.

They're really not a bad deal.

- If you've got to try
for something, two hot twins

and a threesome's
worth trying for.

If I pull your hair,
will she feel it?

- You can try it on her.

- You bitch.
- I'm kidding.

- If she's a bitch,
then you're a bitch.

- Come on, girls, let's go.
- Bye.

- Bye.
- Ciao.

- We'll go get food, then
we'll walk through the market.

Breakfast?

Mike definitely has an agenda

and he has a secret motive
with these twins.

- Hey, I get to walk
in the middle.

- Because Mike never takes
girls out on dates,

especially in the daytime.

You said you're a virgin.
- She is.

- It's... it's cool to
be a... it's cool.

Own it.

- A threesome is not
an easy task to accomplish,

but then again, The Situation
does the impossible,

and I think I can get it done.

- I need a drink.

Well, we can start now.

We can start now.

D, it's so nice up here.

The restaurant is in
a complete romantic spot.

It's on a rooftop.
You can watch the sun set.

I kind of got butterflies.

Like, you're not really
romantic, Ron,

and you're taking me there?

So I'm excited.

So...
- You wanted to talk, so...

- I just feel like
I haven't really

been able to talk to you
since I've been here.

I'm listening.

- Okay, but let me be hon...
I feel...

I feel like I'm not
that girl from Jersey

and I think, like, I know
what I want in my life.

And I'm letting you do you
and, like,

I'm giving you trust that
you wouldn't bring back a girl

or, like, hurt me,
and you haven't yet.

- What more could you want
from a guy?

I hung out with the guys
the whole night.

- I want you to hang out
with them.

- But do you get where
I'm coming from?

I'm kind of torn
because it's like,

I kind of want to be with Sam,

but I want Sam to be this girl.

- I'm a completely
changed person.

I like who I am.
- So no more bull.

No more, like,
Nonsense.

- I don't want you to worry
'cause, like,

I'm not ever gonna hurt you.

If you want to me with me,
like,

yeah, like, I'm here.

Like, I've obviously been here.

- All right, so then...
We'll give it a sh*t.

Well, how do you feel?

- Well, obviously,
I love you, Sam.

I miss that feeling
of holding you

and, like, being with you.

- I guess that we should
start over.

Okay.

Look how romantical that is.

- I feel like, uh, like,
this is heaven.

I haven't felt this happy
in, like, years.

I'm not even kidding you.

You sure you're happy?
- Yeah.

Living in the moment

and all your hopes arrive

today

- I guess this means Ron
and Sam are back together.

- You need a mint. Do you
have any altoids?

- I need a m...
I need a mint?

- Do you have an altoid?
You need one.

- Hey, guys, deena's making out
with the twin right now.

- What the hell?
This is a full-blown

lesbi-honest experience
right now.

We hooked up two months ago.

You're psycho!

- Two months ago.
- You're psycho!

They say we're crazy

'cause we act like we do

they say
it's meaningless...

This is the first time
I've seen you smile in a long time.

- With Sam I feel like
this time is gonna be different.

I definitely feel like we can
move forward from the past.

- How was dinner?
- Good.

- I think it's definitely weird
that I miss Ron and Sam's drama,

because when they don't fight
it's just like

this is boring,
like I need something!

Did you have a good talk?

- Yeah.
Things are good.

And?

- Working it out.
- And?

Back together.

- You are?
- Yeah.

- Ohh...
- No fighting this time, though.

- Oh, dear.
And the games begin.

- No, no, no.
None of that this time.

- So you're legit
like a couple.

- Yep.
- Can I tell everyone?

If you want.
- I'm not kidding.

- I'd rather come back
and b*at you.

- You'd rather, but...
That's not gonna happen.

Game.
Three in a row. Three in a row.

Just came out.

- Uh-oh. He has
the black v-neck on.

- Uh-oh.
- You know what that means!

- Yeah, buddy.
- Black v-neck.

- Conservative Ronnie...
I'll tell you what it means.

He's with Sam.
Ha ha ha ha!

Yo, he's changing it!

Conservative Ronnie

he's a wonderful guy

Ron and Sam are back together,

and we set ourselves back
months and months of progress.

Did you ask Sam first?

"Sam, can I get changed?"

She's back in black, bro.

She's not wearing colors
anymore!

- Oh, my God, she was
wearing colors all year!

Conservative Sammi

she's a wonderful girl

- I said if Ron and Sam
get back together

after all the [Bleep]'S
said and done,

I will k*ll myself.
When you're thinking su1c1de

on sebody else's relationship,
that's how bad it is.

- When they're together,
they both wear black.

It's like a funeral.

- Oh, yeah,
we gotta call taxis.

Don't do it, jerk.

Oh, God, I hate him.

Good to go.

Dude, I'm mad horny.

- Are you going to have sex
with Ron tonight?

- We're taking it slow.
- Oh, so slow sex?

- We're in Italy right now.
In case you're wondering.

Flo is the best time.

Straight Jersey style,

taking up the middle
of the dance floor.

Fist pumping,
b*ating up the b*at,

and we're having
an amazing time.

light up the stage

Light up the stage, yeah

- We straight up
took over an Italy club...

Totally out of our element,

with all different
Italian people...

And we got it popping.

- You know you cannot
stop me

I'm climbing mountains
in heat

Flo turned everything around.

The girls are enjoying themself
now for once.

The guys are enjoying themself,

so I'm like,
"yo, that's what's up."

It reminds me
of the first time in Jersey.

Oh, no!

I turn around,

I see both twins.

I'm like, holy.
Stalkers.

What the hell?

- Party foul.
- That's like a double stalker.

- We have reached
a new level of stalker.

Twin sandwich.

But, uh, The Situation adapts

to handle
all types of crazy things.

There's always a hotter twin.

Who's the hotter twin?

You want me to be real?

I think you.

You have different eyes
than she does.

But you're both beautiful.

That was wrong of me.
- Yeah.

You shouldn't have said that.

We're all just like
hanging out by the bar,

and I finally
get to talk to the twins.

Twinning!

So when they like do it,

you don't like go in and like
sit there and watch?

Um, well, I have before.

- I'm trying to set up
a threesome

with the two girls and Mike.

Mike's cool,
so you should [Bleep] Mike.

No. I don't know.

sh*ts!

Snooki...Ah.

Thank God.

- I'm not gonna lie.
I'm a virgin.

- Huh?
- She's a virgin.

No, you're not.

- Her sister... her sister's not.
She is.

- I don't believe that,
'cause she's like really hot.

But, you know, she's a virgin.

All right, you're a virgin.

And the other one,
she's like a big whore.

- I'm in love right now.
His name's jionni

and he's from Jersey,
and he's gonna come visit

and I'm gonna like
His [...] Off.

Foul.

When we get home, you know,

we'll figure
everything out, okay?

I put the groundwork in
with these twins,

and looks like I'm gonna have
a little threesome tonight.

- Can we go?
- I think we're ready to go.

Right? When we get home,

we'll figure
everything out, okay?

Okay.

- Stop, stop, stop.
- I like Erica.

- Then all of a sudden
deena goes, "no, she's mine."

She's yours?

- You're too attached
to your sister.

- Seriously.
- Let her live.

- Seriously,
let me live my life.

- This girl Erica
just seems like

a blast in the glass like me.

She likes to party.
She likes to dance.

You're cute.
You're a good time.

I even saw that earlier.

I was like,
Erica is the hotter twin.

- Is she sleeping
in your bed tonight?

Yeah.

- I don't like it.
I don't like it.

- Hey, guys...
Deena's making out

with the twin right now.

What the hell?

- When you're drunk,
sometimes you kiss girls.

- This is not a playful
friend kiss friend thing

or however girls do.

This is the full-blown

lesbi-honest experience
right now.

- Deena pulled a robbery
hardcore.

- They're
Gonna bang each other.

What the hell?

- Deena's
Blocked me before

but never took a girl
and hooked up with her herself.

- You're telling everybody that
I cheated on jionni with you.

Why would you even say that?

Where did you wh...

What the hell?
Erica!

- They're
Gonna bang each other.

- I don't like it.
I don't like it.

It was supposed to be
a menage-a-twin

with me and the twins.

I was supposed to be twinning,

and then it turned into
a robbery by Deena...

And my own menage-arie,
it went awry.

- We're gonna go.
Don't worry about it.

Let's go.
- Right, now, I'm...

I'm a little upset
but not too upset,

because I still have one twin.

Go, go.

Turn the music is on.

Makeout dibs!

You're goin' under

- You're with me,
and that's it.

G- g-generation

of the poor

Gonna be les-bionic tonight.

- Whoa.
It's not the worst thing

on earth,
like bringing home a girl.

It's just not something
I normally do.

They're a virgin, baby girl.

- You made that up.
- Isn't that embarrassing?

I know it's embarrassing.
- How cute is she?

- If I saw you in a bar
and I wanted to be les-bionic,

I'd make out with you.

You guys are too nice!

Damn!
- No, I'm not nice at all.

- No...
- But I'm being honest.

I wouldn't say I'm a lesbian,

but I guess bi-curious.

I don't think
I'd ever date a girl,

'cause I really,
really love penis.

But I have fun.

Let's go play.

Where... where at?

In the room.

- Just lay in my bed.
Lay in my bed.

Sure.

Perfect!

- Just lay down.
Please?

- I have to pee.
- I have to pee too.

- Go pee first, then I'll go.
- Okay.

- I'll be right back, okay?
- Okay.

- Stay there.
This is my bed.

- Where's your girl?
- Put her in my room,

and I'm making out with her.
- Just left her in your room?

- Yeah. I mean,
I'll bring her out with you.

- I don't feel like...
Conversating.

- He told me a story
the other day

that I don't want to repeat.

- Tell me.
About what?

About a couple months ago.

Him and snook...

You serious?

But what did he tell you?

- That she cheated on him,
on jionni.

Wow.

That's a dog right there.

- And he specifically
said that he cheated.

Specifically said like...

- I'm nna tell you something.
Nobody knows about this.

And you can't tell it
to anybody.

Me and Snooki...

We...We kinda hooked up.

- I [Bleep] Told on Mike.
Yeah.

Make ratted me out
in [Bleep] Miami.

Mike ratted me out
in [Bleep] Jersey.

So what guy code is there
between me and Mike?

There is no guy code.

You should tell Nicole.

- It's disgusting.
I'm gonna tell her right now.

I'm disappointed kind of
a little bit in deena.

I don't know.
- Why?

- I don't know.
Because like...

When I wanted to go
hook up with a girl,

she went whoosh!

I'm like, wow.
She's like...

I think she's like...

Selfish.
Ha ha.

What's everybody eating?

- Go over there
and get a little plate.

- Aah!
I can't do it.

What if I started making out
with you right now?

- What would I think?
I don't know.

I thought she was
gonna get with Mike.

I thought she was
gonna get with deena.

I don't know who
this girl's gonna get with,

but somehow,
she ends up on top of me.

- Do you wanna go to sleep now?
- Yeah.

What the hell?

What the hell?

I was hooking up with
this girl the entire night.

I brought her home, okay?

Knowing I was hooking up
with this girl the entire night,

Vinny decides
to hook up with this girl.

So I said, no,
she's coming into my bed.

She wants to cuddle with me.
- Yeah!

- Deena did hook up
with this girl first,

but the girl was in my bed,

and I was mid-hookup with her.

That's weird, though.

She just jumps from bed to bed.

Even if I pulled a robbery,

you don't pull
the double robbery,

you know what I mean?

One second.
Get up on second.

Down.

- Oh...
- Are you okay?

- No, you have to put
your pants on

to get into my bed.
- I have pants on.

Trust me.

- Deena's [Bleep] Blocked me
before, but...

Never took the girl
and hooked up with her herself.

Okay. I'm back.

I'm back to The Situation.

- So you gonna smash
this chick tonight, or...

- I don't know.
I don't know.

- Might as well.
She's in your bed.

- But like...I didn't want
to bring her home

because like I'm the type
of person that's like

I'm not gonna cross you,
you know what I mean?

- Hey, can I talk to Nicole
for a second by myself?

There's an emergency.
I just need to talk to Nicole.

- What?
What do you mean, emergency?

Don't say that.

You're scaring me.

- Mike told people
about what you guys did.

Everyone.

- We didn't do anything.
- No. He told everyone.

Everyone.
- We didn't do anything.

I was so [Bleep] Pissed off,

because I thought I could trust
everybody in the house,

so what the hell
is going on right now?

He gave all your details.

- What [Bleep] Details?
- He gave details.

He's psycho!

- But it's not like details
of like,

"oh, we hooked up
a couple months ago."

There was details that say,
"I [Bleep] Nicole,

and she cheated on jionni."

Oh.:.

I'm gonna cry right now.
No.

- Handle that.
That's your boy.

- Mike is a big
Fat liar.

I have never
hooked up with him.

And the fact that I was
there for him as a friend,

I mean...
You're a [Bleep] Ass.

Dude!

Mike!

- What?
- What is wrong with you?

- Wait...
- No! I'm not gonna come here.

- What?
- Stay right here.

You're telling everybody

that I cheated on jionni
with you.

Why would you even say that?

- Where did you...
Where... who came up with this?

- I am...
I am [Bleep] Friends with you.

You're telling
everybody in the house!

- No, I didn't tell anybody.
- Yes, you did.

Because everyone's
telling me right now.

- No, no, I didn't tell
everybody in the house.

- Okay, well, obviously
you're lying right now,

because you know how
Much I love jionni.

I'm not [Bleep] Dealing
with that.

That's done.

I don't want to be friends
with you, I don't like you.

I can't even
look at you right now.

Done.

- I'm a little disappointed
that you told everybody.

- You better shut
your [Bleep] Mouth.

You're a [Bleep] Snitch.

This is all [Bleep] Up.

I swear to God, if I lose
jionni over this [Bleep],

I am k*lling Mike.

- I want nothing
to do with you.

I was a [Bleep] Friend
in the house...

- I'm not gonna lie...
- And I'm done.

- I'm not gonna lie.
- You're a [Bleep] Ass.

- Everybody knows
The Situation is not a liar,

and The Situation...
If a girl rejects me,

I'll say it, you know?
I've never lied.

I'm not gonna lie.
- Mike, get over it.

- I'm not gonna lie.
- Nothing happened.

I'm not gonna lie.

You are lying about me

hooking up recently with you.

We hooked up two months ago.

- You're a psycho!
- Two months ago.

- You're [Bleep] Psycho.
- Two months ago.

- Get over it.
- I'm not gonna lie.

- Nothing happened.
- I'm not gonna lie.

- No, you're an ass.
Because the only person

that wants to be friends
with you,

that wants to talk to you
in the house, is me.

And you are a
Ass.

Dude, you have no friends
in the house.

Mike, you're a
Douche bag,

and I [...] Hate you.
I [...] Hate you.

For once, no drama with me,

and it feels [Bleep] Amazing.

- You know how much
I [Bleep] Love jionni,

and the fact that you would
say something like that...

You are a.
I don't like you.

- I didn't lie.
- This is [Bleep] Embarrassing.

- This was two months ago.
- No, no.

This was two months ago.

- Mike...Seriously.
- Two months ago.

- I haven't seen Mike
in two months.

I don't know what the
He's talking about.

- I don't lie.
- Don't [Bleep] Talk to me.

- Listen, listen, listen,
I'm... I don't lie.

Everybody in this house
knows I don't lie, okay?

- Ron...Really?
- I don't lie.

- Nicole's flipping out
on Mike right now,

saying that it's not true,
and it's like it's kinda good,

'cause I wanna know
if it's true or not.

I wanna know if Mike's lying
or if Mike's telling the truth.

- I swear on anything
in this world.

- Dude, I'm alone once again.
Thank you.

- The reason why you're walking
away is because...

- No, because you're.
You're [Bleep] Psycho!

This crossed the line.
Like I always say,

if you [Bleep] With my friends,

me and my relationship
with my boyfriend,

or my family, it's done.

- Listen, do you want me to
describe exactly what happened?

- You, Mike!
- Do you want me to describe

exactly what happened?

- You're such a
Ass.

I cannot...
Mmm!

- So I'm hooking up with Erica,
and I'm into it,

having a blast.

Hey, put those on.

I can't.

- Then I get freaked out.
This is not me.

This is not what I do.

I like penis.

You can go right there.
So I was like, whatever.

Erica, go on.
You can go into Vinny's bed now.

So she wound up
ending the night with Vinny.

I'm bad!

- Oh, man!

Why would he do that to me?

You want my advice, snook?

If it's true?

It's not true.

- If... if... I'm not
accusing anybody...

- I will tell you
what the [Bleep] Happened.

- Okay.
- Not even two months ago.

A while back ago.
- Yeah.

- He was with unit,
and you know how unit is.

Ryder and unit got together.

Mike wanted to hook up with me,
and I said n

he got [Bleep] Pissed off,

and he went outside
on the balcony.

'Cause I wouldn't
hook up with him.

And that's it.

- Snooki may have cheated.
You don't know who to believe.

It's like Snooki's
gonna say no,

because she doesn't wanna
lose her boyfriend,

and then Mike's gonna say yes

'cause he doesn't wanna
look like a liar.

The only two people that know
were the people that were there.

I don't... like...
Know what happened,

but...
- I just told you what happened.

- I know.
For jionni's sake,

what you do is woman up.

Tell him the whole
Scenario that happened,

and it's better
to hear it from you...

Believe me.
Look at me.

Than find out
like the way I did.

- God, he's such a.
- You know why?

Because finding out this way

is gonna [Bleep] With you
so much longer in the long run.

- I didn't do anything
wrong for me to be.

- So tell jionni.
Tell him the [Bleep] Scenario.

- I don't understand
why Mike would do that.

Now it's done.
Done.

- You know I don't lie.
- I cannot... Mm!

You know I don't lie,

and I'm a little disappointed
that you told people.

- I didn't say nothing...
- I asked for your...

I asked for your opinion.
- I didn't say nothing to her.

Listen, you better shut
your [Bleep] Mouth,

'cause you're a [Bleep] Snitch.

Like how many times have you
Caused trouble

with me and my
Girlfriend

and sat back and just
Sparked a fuse?

I told jenni what you told me,

and I feel like...
- Okay.

- You know that it was
gonna come...

- I'm a... I'm a...
I'm a little up...

- You know that it was gonna
come out no matter what.

- I told Ronnie in confidence,
and all of a sudden,

he immediately tells jenni
when he's drunk?

Like...Lt's not cool.

I entrusted you
with a huge, huge secret.

You knew I was sincere.

- I'm not saying
you aren't sincere,

but you bringing home
different girls

is not being sincere.
- B-but this... th...

What happened with me and her
was two months ago.

You know I don't lie.

I- I didn't say you lied.

I didn't sit there and say
you [Bleep] Lied, bro.

- I-I...
- I didn't say you [Bleep] Lied.

- I'm a little disappointed
in you.

- With Mike, you never know
what his intentions are.

I don't know if what
he's saying is true

or if he's just trying
to be the instigator.

- What, you didn't believe me?
- I didn't say... no, no.

Did I say that?
- Did you guys not believe me?

- No, no, no.
- I said I believe you.

- By telling Ronnie...
- Where is everybody?

- The closest... we're very close,
you know what I mean?

Oh, my God, now I have
this chick running around.

- Get them out of here.
Just get rid of them.

'Cause we gotta deal
with this.

- Just... just...
- Just come and hold me.

- Just lay down.
Just lay down.

- They need to get
the [Bleep] Out.

- Lay down.
Just lay down.

It's called guilty conscience,

so we're gonna see
what Snooki does.

The truth will come out.

The truth
will set you free, Snooki.

This is all [Bleep] Up.

This [Bleep] Is not gonna
ruin what I have.

- Look at me.
You did nothing wrong.

We're gonna fix this.

I call bull.
I see through your game.

It's not gonna work.

Nicole loves jionni.
Move on.

- I swear to God, if I lose
jionni over this [Bleep],

I am k*lling Mike.

- You're not.
Jionni loves you too much.

Listen, no offense to jionni,

but if he wants to take
his word over yours,

then let jionni walk.

But I know jionni better than
that, and he's not going to.

Jionni loves you.

You'll be okay.

And listen, no offense,

jionni will not leave you over
Mike [Bleep] Talking.

Mike's talking.

- But he's such a douche bag.
Why would he do that to me?

I'm sorry.

- I know that I got
a big personality

and a strong magnetism too

but it often seems to keep
good people away from me

I don't know why that is

I keep them to my left,
I keep them to my right

always making sure
that the attention is ne

sometimes I give a drink
just to keep them satisfied

and sometimes I get a kick
out of wasting their time

people on the street,
please give it up for mister

big personality

and his staff

papa, I'm ambitious

Subtitled by Adriano_CSI
DreiMarc + Subsfreak

- I'm not losing jionni
over this bull.

- It's gonna be rough
when you first tell him.

- I need to tell jionni
what's going on.

He told all the roommates
that we had sex.

Talk to me, please.

- I think she would.
- Take it easy, take it easy.

- I felt like
I was being judged.

- You would never [Bleep] Block
anybody in this [Bleep] House.

You've [Bleep] Changed.

- I'm actually glad
that the drama

has nothing to do with us.

It's been like
less than hours

since Ron and me got together.

- You.
- I'm like, oh, great.

Ron and Sam.
Then I hear Mike.

- I don't give a!
N't [Bleep] A relationship.

You [Bleep] Serious?
- And I'm like...Uh-oh.

- Let's do it!
- Stop!

Let's do it!