18x08 - Pest Man Wins

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

Here you are, sir.

Oh, darling, thank you so much

for helping me out.

Uh, pardon me.

Well, Meadows,

I see you've taken care
of the cakes and pies.

Yes, ma'am,
but I can't understand

why we are so overloaded
with them.

Well, you see, Meadows,

I'm entertaining the
Restaurant Owners' Association.

If they like my pastries,

my bakery business
will increase.

A very clever idea,
Mrs. Castor.

Uh, come along with me,
and bring the cart, Meadows.

Yes.

They're having a party.

Ah, they wouldn't hire us
to exterminate pests

even if they had 'em.

I'm tired.
Oh, me too.

These cats weigh a ton.

[GRUNTS]

[MEOWS]

Look at the blisters.

All day we've been going
from house to house

to drum up business.

And all we got
was one measly little $ job.

But we caught a lot
of moths and ants

that we can sell
to a medical lab.

And all the mice we caught

we can sell to a furrier
that makes fur coats.

I got it.

Moths, mice and ants.

We'll put 'em
all over the house,

then they'll have to hire us
to exterminate them.

Genius. Hey.

Why didn't you think of that?

Oh. Why didn't you
think of it?

Oh.

Larry, you take charge
of the ground floor.

Shemp and I will
climb that trellis

and take care
of the upstairs. Come on.

[GUESTS CHATTERING
IN DISTANCE]

Get busy,
and don't make any noise.

I'll be as quiet as the mice.

Moths.

That must be the closet.

There's a fur coat.
Go to work on it.

[CHUCKLES]

[GUESTS CHATTERING
IN DISTANCE]

Shoo, shoo.

Hey, Moe, I loaded
the bathroom with grasshoppers,

and put two frogs
in the bathtub.

[BABBLING]

Good work.

Ants.

Oh, these shoes
are driving me crazy.

Oh, this is too bad.

Oh, I can't stand it, Fifi.

Hey, somebody's coming.

[BONES CRUNCH]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

What's the matter?
My hand is caught...

Come on, get going here.
Oh.

Get my hand out of there.
All right.

Under the bed, quick.

[GROANING]

Fifi, get me
my black satin shoes.

My feet are k*lling me.
Oui, madame.

That's what I get for
trying to cram my foot

into a B.

Oh.
Oh, my poor toes.

Oh, madame, the closet,
she is full with moths.

CASTOR:
Moths? How awful.

Hurry and put my shoes on.
I must tell Meadows.

Hurry, Fifi.
Oui, madame.

There's something in there.

[BOTH SCREAMING]

Madame, there is mouses
in the house.

Oh, no.

[WOMEN GASPING]

Oh, you missed.
Hurry, get him now.

[GASPS]

You missed again.
Uh, quick, Fifi, my other shoe.

I must have this house
cleaned out immediately.

If my company sees these pests,
I'll be ruined.

Oh, madame, you have ants.

Don't get personal, Fifi.

Come on.

MOE:
Come on, let's go.

Hey... Oh!

[GRUMBLES]

Oh.

Watch what you're doing.
Do what you're watching.

Aw, come on.
Let's get out of here. Oh!

I didn't mean it.
What happened?

Oh! Oh! Hey!

What do you think
this is, a pinwheel?

No. Come on, let's go.
Oh!

Oh.

[SUITCASE THUDS, MOE YELLS]

[MOE GROANS]

Meadows, we're overrun with
ants, mice and moths upstairs.

And downstairs too, madame.

Oh.
[DOORBELL RINGS]

Pardon me.

You couldn't use
a good exterminators?

We exterminate
mice, ants, moths.

Oh, heaven must have sent you.

The house is full of them.

Meadows, dress them
in clothes like our guests

so they can work
in the living room unobserved.

And, gentlemen, they must not
know what you are doing.

You're a cinch. We don't know
what we're doing ourselves.

Heh-heh-heh!
Always clowning.

Oh.

[GASPING]

Uh, this way, gentlemen.

[GASPS]

[GIGGLES]
[CHITTERS]

Kiss me.

I'm poisoned.
Come on here, get out.

The market's been very bad
for the last two or three days.

Boy, oh, boy. You know,
I think this time

we really ought to
get rid of those mice,

and I got the sure way to do it.

Boy, what a beautiful place.

Some day I'm gonna own
a joint like this myself.

Hey, try this cheese.

Oh, thanks, my favorite fruit.

See spots in front of your eyes?

Nah.
I used to see triangles.

I knew it. I should have put
more rat poison in there.

No, you got to stuff it right...

[YELPS]

[COUGHS]

Why, you...
Ow!

Eh?
Hey.

CASTOR:
I want the silverware
put out now.

The glassware, and I want
Fifi to serve the drinks.

And tell the chef that I want
that special dressing...

Seen any mice?
No, I haven't.

[MEOWS]
And I want...

[GASPS]

Get those cats
out of here quickly.

[BARKS]
[BARKS]

Hey, mouse-y, mouse-y.
Swiss cheese coming...

Hey, watch it.
Pardon me.

Shemp, get rid of those cats
before somebody sees 'em.

In here, quick.

[BOTH CLEARING THROATS]

[SIGHS]

[GASPS THEN CHUCKLES]

Oh, hello.
Mr. Philander.

Look, there's Tom.
[SPRING BOINGS]

Mouse-y.
Come, mouse-y, mouse...

Shemp, hold still.
Don't move.

Oof!

I saved your life.
A mouse att*cked you,

and I got him with this.

Right like that.
Wait a minute.
Oh.

Oh, Shemp, I'm sorry.

[BOTH GASP]

[WHIMPERING]

[YELLING]

[STOOGES HUMMING RHYTHM]

[WOMEN SCREAMING]

MAN:
Ouch!

Ah!

[WOMEN SCREAMING]

Ladies and gentlemen,
your attention please.

I have just discovered
that Mr. Philander

is an accomplished pianist.

He has graciously consented to
render a selection on the piano.

She say
he's gonna play the piano?

The cats.

[PLAYING "THE BLUE DANUBE"]

[CAT MEOWS "THE BLUE DANUBE"]

[GUESTS CHATTERING]

What was that?
I didn't hear a thing.

Neither did I.

[CATS YOWLING]
[PIANO PLAYING NOTES]

Which one of you
put those cats in the piano?

He did.
He did.

[CHUCKLES]

Ooh.

Go on. Go on. Go on.

[CATS YOWLING]

[GUESTS GASP]

Stupid idiot.

Go on in there
and get the rest of those cats.

Go on.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

[CATS YOWLING,
LARRY SCREAMING]

LARRY:
Oh, they're all out of here,
Moe. I'm stuck. Get me out.

Uh...
Help.

Take it easy, now.
Easy, now.

Up! Heave!

[GRUNTING]

LARRY: Hey!
[GUESTS GASP]

LARRY:
Moe. Help me, I'm stuck.

Okay, kid, take it easy.

Come on, give me a hand.
Get me out.

Easy, boy. That's easy, now.
Let me have a grip on you.

Come on, kid.
SHEMP: Forehead. Come on.

Easy, now. Easy. Easy, kid.

Larry, where are you?
I'm right here. Help.

Okay, kid. Okay.
I'm all right, huh?

[GASPS]
[LAUGHS]

Meadows,
serve the refreshments quickly.

Yes, ma'am.
Mr. Philander. Oh.

Ladies and gentlemen,
refreshments are served.

There are several tables.
Please help yourselves.

Eats!

MOE: Pardon me.
Boy, I'm starving.

Boy, a "banquetty."
Oh.

Squab.
Wait a minute.

You gonna eat that alone?

No, I'll wait.
Maybe I'll get potatoes.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Wait a minute.

Here's a drumstick.
Thanks.

Get out. Go ahead. Go on.

What are you doing?
Think you're playing poker?

Quit stacking the deck.
Oh, I'm hungry.

May I serve you some punch?

Certainly, and see what the boys
in the back room will have.

Hee-hee-hee!
She's very "hospital."

Certainly. Sister,
pass me a piece of... Oh.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

[SIGHS]

Very good you are.
Come on, come on.

Moe, let go.
Moe, let go.

[WHIMPERS]

Silver.

Ah, ah. Naughty, naughty.

Here, you forgot these.

[CLEARS THROAT]

We're in the same racket, bud.

Oh, oh.
Why, you stupid stooge.

You wanna get us thrown out
of here before we get our money?

Oh! Why, you... Oh!

Why, you...

One of these days,
I'll chew your head off.

Aw, a barking dog never bites.

Yeah?
Ooh!

Go on, get away from here.

[FRUSTRATED WHINE]

Oh, poppy seed cake.

The poppy seeds are walkin'.

Dear young man,
do tell me about yourself.

Well, you see, it, uh...

Well, that is, uh...

You'll pardon me.

If you don't tell me
all about this metamorphosis,

I shall always feel
that I've missed something.

Lady, if you don't
leave right now,

you're not gonna
miss anything. I...

Young man, what's wrong?

You act as though
the Sword of Damocles

is hanging over your head.

Lady, you must be psychic.

Wonder what's wrong
with that young man.

[MUFFLED YELLING]

[GUESTS SCREAM]

[GUESTS CHATTERING]

Oh.

You featherbrained imbecile.
Are you trying to ruin us too?

[GUESTS GASP]

[GUESTS CHATTERING EXCITEDLY]

You know,
you're a little bit too bossy.

Aah! Ooh.

I'm too bossy, huh?

Wise guy.

[LAUGHING]

Oof.
[GUESTS GASP]

[LAUGHING]

You forgot to duck.
Ha-ha-ha!

So did you.

[LAUGHING]

MOE:
Why, I've never heard
of such a thing.

No, wait. Wait,
let's call a truce.

Come on, now.
Come on, you started this.

Ha-ha... [GUESTS GAS}

[SPITS]

[GUESTS SCREAM]

Wait a minute, Moe.
Wait. Now, look...

Your drink, madame.

[GASPS]

Pardon me, madame.

Stop it!
Stop it this minute.

You disgraceful vagabonds.

Oh! Oh.

Ooh. So.

You want to play rough,
do you? Well...

MOE: Wait a minute, lady.
LARRY: Wait a minute.

[GUESTS CHATTERING EXCITEDLY]

[GASPS]

LARRY:
Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

[GUESTS SCREAMING]

I raised my r*fle and fired.

Naturally, the, uh...
The lions halted.

But... But you understand
exactly what I'm talking about.

Oh, you must be...
Larry, I apologize.

This must cease!
[GUESTS SCREAM]

[COUGHING]

Oh, well.

[SCREAMS, GASPS]

[CLOCK CUCKOOS]

[CLOCK DRONES]

Mr. Philander, I just know
you're going to love my pies.

Somebody's gonna get this pie
right in the mush.

A wise guy, eh?

How do you like that?

[LAUGHS]

Why, you...

[LAUGHING]

Oh.

[MOE THUDS]

[CATS MEWING]

[♪♪♪]