04x10 - The Re-Visibility Bouillabaisse

[bunniefuu]

[dramatic theme playing]

♪

SISTER SISTO: My flock,
our worst fears were realized

when the heathens sent assassins
into our kingdom

and kidnapped
our beautiful baby Jessius.

Already, they're filling
her mind with lies!

They're telling her
that Jesse hates us

and that the best flavor
of Laffy Taffy is banana.

[hammer clanging]
Jesse tasks us,

her most faithful servants,

with a grave and dangerous task.

We must rescue baby Jessius
from the hands of evil

and strike down those who wish us harm.

The Wall will be united
under Jesse's bow.

[container thuds]
[soldiers cheering]

And I will rule in her name!

[container thudding]
[soldiers cheering]

Anyway, we have to make sure
AISHA is prepared for...

Terry! Do you have AirPods in again?

You know I can't tell
when you're listening to me

or some f*cking podcast about bread.

I am, but they're not on.

I want the look of earrings
without the commitment of ears.

It's the most important day of the year
for ship maintenance.

I need you to focus.

Ugh, don't strain
those bitter tits, I'm on it.

They are strained!

AISHA will be offline for two hours

for her once-a-year software update.

Two hours!

Two hours isn't that long.

I've sat around doing literally nothing
for longer than that.

We have to monitor the cockpit
while she's shut down.

This is serious.
[computer beeps]

AISHA:
Let's get this update going.

I'm ready for my staycation.

Oh! You know, today's actually
no bueno for me.

I have plans.

You just said you don't do anything!

Remember that auction at Jesse
and what's-his-f*ck's school?

I bid a ton of our blood-less diamonds

and won an afternoon with Nancy Silverton!

Who the f*ck is that?

Uh, doy!

James Beard award-winning chef
slash bread mogul.

She's coming over to personally teach me
how to make her famous crust.

It was between her
and a Scott Adams Zoom

where he teaches you how to be bitter.

You don't even like crust!

Only because I don't know
how to imbue it

with personal umami!

AISHA: Nancy Silverton's
a big deal, Korvo.

She created Osteria Mozza.

She's got a whole
Chef's Table episode!

AISHA:
Girl brought Umbria to Melrose.

Whatever. I couldn't care less
about this crusty woman.

Can you at least pretend
to care about the ship?

I do care!

In fact, there's something
I wanna add to AISHA's update.

Really? I'd love to see you take
some initiative.

Update away.
[panel beeping]

Accessing. Entering code.

Beep boop boop. Bypassing the proxy.

And done.

[panel beeping]

AISHA:
Recalculating estimate.

Update will now take hours
and days. [laughing]

What the f*ck? We can't survive
without AISHA for days.

She scrubs the air,
monitors all the neutrino levels.

AISHA: Update protocol
will commence in,

um, pssh,
I don't know, like seconds.

That's good enough.

[alarm blaring]
Wait, no!

We can override the countdown.

Grab the override ray
out of the array of rays.

The what?

The ray closet,
where we keep all the rays!

We use it all the time!

Okay, okay! Calm down, I'm on it.

[alarm continues]
[rays g*ns clattering]

[laser beams zapping]
Aw, f*ck! Help!

[Terry exclaiming]

Damn it! It's your job to keep
the ray arrays arranged!

Why do we have a taco ray?

Grab the blue one over there

and sh**t AISHA with it
to buy me some time!

Got it.
[yelps]

[ray zapping]
[both screaming]

[alarm continues]

TERRY:
Korvo? Where are you?

Ahh, I can't see anything!

Oh, God, am I dead again?

KORVO: You sh*t us
with the invisibility ray.

We're invisible!
We have to get to AISHA before...

AISHA:
Bye, b*tches!

KORVO:
AISHA? AISHA?

TERRY: I just want to get ahead
of any accusations

and say this is both our faults.

KORVO: f*ck!

KORVO:
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia,

until the asteroid hit.

One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa

and escaped into the... space,

searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.

We crashed on Earth,

stranding us on an already
overpopulated planet.

That's right, I've been talking
this whole time.

I'm the one holding the Pupa.

My name is Korvo.
This is my show.

Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.

Ugh. This is ridiculous.

I hate Earth.
It's a horrible home.

People are stupid and confusing.

Everyone loves their phones,
but they haven't invented a thing

that lets you transfer
your consciousness into your phone

so that your body can die
but your soul can live on

trapped for eternity
as someone else's operating system.

Now that's a phone.

[dramatic music]

TERRY:
Ah, I can't see!

Are you sure we didn't get hit
by the blinding ray?

KORVO: I threw
the blinding ray out last year

after I realized looking at the sun
does the same thing

for half the price.

We're definitely both invisible
right now.

TERRY:
But I can't see a f*cking thing.

Is everything invisible?

KORVO: The light-detecting roots
and shmoots

in our Shlorpian eyes are invisible,

so the light's passing
right through them

TERRY: Ah, I see.

KORVO: [groaning] Our brains
aren't receiving any information.

Being invisible makes us blind.

And now AISHA's shut down
for a long f*cking time!

What did you add to her system
that was so important?

- TERRY: Emojis.
- KORVO: Emojis!

Nobody uses those.
We aren't teens!

TERRY:
I use them, and I like them!

They're cute and fun!

KORVO:
Ugh, I can't even see the clock

to monitor her updates.

TERRY:
Holy f*cking sh*t.

Ugh. Nancy Silverton
will be here in an hour,

and I'm not gonna be able
to make crust with her

if she can't see me.

KORVO: f*ck your crust!
We have bigger problems.

TERRY: Not me. How's she gonna correct
my kneading technique

if she can't see my fingers?

KORVO: We need to find
the invisibility ray

and use it to re-visibilify us

because without AISHA,
there's nobody with eyes

to make sure
the whole ship doesn't fall apart.

TERRY:
Oh, come on, Korvy,

how often does
the ship actually break?

[Korvo thuds]
KORVO: Ow!

We have to keep
the neutronium core from exploding

and destroying the northern hemisphere
of the Earth twice a day.

[Korvo thuds]
KORVO: f*ck! Ugh.

Why do you think I'm always running home
in the middle of movies?

TERRY: I thought you needed to fart
in the privacy of your own home.

KORVO: Yes, and prevent
the ship from exploding.

TERRY:
Ugh, fine.

I'll start feeling around
for the stupid ray.

[objects clattering]

Come on.

Oops. f*ckin', where is it?

[Korvo thuds]
KORVO: Ow! Terry, you bitch.

Did you leave a compartment open?

TERRY: Korvo! I'm sick
of you blaming me for everything!

KORVO:
Then stop f*cking up all the time.

TERRY:
You suck so bad! [grunting]

KORVO:
Did you just take a swing at me?

I felt a fist-shaped breeze
go past my face.

TERRY:
Hell yes, I threw down!

KORVO:
You apologize right now!

TERRY:
I'm sorry... that you're a d*ck!

KORVO: That's it.
I'm sick of your sh*t.

You've had this beatdown
coming for a long time!

[thudding]
TERRY: Hey, f*ckin' stop it!

- KORVO: Son of a...
- TERRY: You want some?

- KORVO: f*ck you. f*ck you!
- TERRY: I'll kick your mound!

I'll do it, I'll kick you
right in the mound.

- Ow! God damn it!
- KORVO: Eat sh*t!

[container thudding]

[container thudding]

[guards yelling]

Praise Bows!

Yes! Praise Bows!

Let them go first.

[guards screaming]
[flesh squelching]

GUARD :
Ah! Please!

GUARD : The ground's covered
in ComfortGlide razors!

It's a trap! Fall back!

How did you know?

Jesse warned me that
the heathens are full of tricks.

Push forward!

There will be trials ahead,

but you have been chosen by Jesse herself

to be a polka-dotted light
in the darkness.

Praise Bows!

SOLDIERS: Praise Bows!
Praise Bows! Praise Bows!

Praise Bows! Praise Bows!
[soldiers yelping]

Praise Bows! Praise Bows!

KORVO: I hope you're happy.
You make me squart my robes.

TERRY: You shouldn't
be squarting at all.

It's not my fault, you sicko.

KORVO:
Just focus on finding the ray.

TERRY [mocking]:
Just focus on finding the ray.

God, I'm so sick of your bossy attitude.

KORVO: Bossy? I'm the team leader,
and you're the team follower.

TERRY:
We're not a team.

We're just two big spoons
that got assigned to each other

that'll never work,

like Michael Jordan and Yosemite Sam.

[elevator whirring]

If this is some
Halloween bullshit, I'm out.

I told you that sh*t basic.

KORVO: Yumyulack! Girl Yumyulack!
We need your help!

Oh, boy, did somebody do
a Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

on you guys?

KORVO:
No. Terry f*cked up and sh*t us

with the invisibility ray,
so we're blind now.

- Why?
- TERRY: It was an accident.

No. Why are you blind?

TERRY:
Ha! I knew it wasn't obvious.

Go ahead and tell 'em.

Tell 'em the insane reason
why we're blind.

KORVO: The roots and shmoots
in our eyes are invisible

so the light's passing through them.

We need the invisibility ray.
Do you see it?

Yeah. Yeah. Hang on.

Make some noise so I can aim at you.

- TERRY: La, la, la, la.
- KORVO: Noise, noise, noise.

- La, la, la.
- TERRY: Oink, oink, oink.

[Yumyulack and Jesse laughing]

You sound stupid.

KORVO: Will you just
make us visible again?

Okay. Okay.

Wait. We could use this
to our advantage.

I'm listening.

TERRY: No, no, no.
Don't start getting ideas.

I need to organize my yeast.

KORVO:
The neutrino engine could explode!

I need to reboot AISHA!

If they can't see us,

they can't stop us from going
on a fun sci-fi adventure.

You mean like a time travel adventure?

KORVO:
No! Those are too complicated.

We don't do that anymore.

TERRY: Grab 'em!
[box thudding]

Ow! f*ck!

KORVO: Make us visible,
and I'll let you clean the dishwasher.

It's really fun. There's lots of old,
clean food stuck in the bottom.

f*ck that noise!

[machine whirring]

KORVO:
Why do I hear chronotomic fabric?

Don't you touch those time travel vests!

Uh, we'll be back in two shakes
of a duck's d*ck.

- Yay!
- KORVO: As your leader,

I order you not to zip!

[vests zapping]

Hello, are you still here?

- TERRY: Yep.
- KORVO: Not you.

[sighing] I think I heard
Yumyulack set the ray down

on the table.

TERRY: Found it!
Oh, wait. That's my hand.

Okay, now I found it!

Crap, that's the other hand.

f*ck me and my two hands.

KORVO: Use your echolocation
to find the table.

TERRY: I don't wanna do that,
it's embarrassing.

KORVO: Come on,
you got really good at it

when you got lost
at Hedonism last summer.

Just try. Come on.

[Terry groans]

[screeching]

KORVO:
You need to hit a higher register.

TERRY [high-pitched voice]:
Then you do it!

[normal voice]
Ugh, f*ck this.

I need to get my
double zero flour out and resting

or Nancy will be mise en pissed.

KORVO:
No, we're not done here!

- The ship...
- TERRY: Yeah. Yeah. The neutrino engine.

I can't help with that anyway.

You're so perfect at everything,
deal with it yourself.

I'm outta here.

[glass shattering]

KORVO:
Okay. That sounded expensive.

Terry, Terry, don't be a twunt.

What did you break?

TERRY:
It's crust time, m*therf*ckers!

[Terry thuds]
Ah!

[elevator whirring]

Ah.

[Terry groans]
[glass shattering]

Ow! f*ck! Ow!
[Terry thudding]

Ow! So many stairs!
[Terry thudding]

Ugh! Korvo, I fell down the stairs.

KORVO: Good.
You deserve it for abandoning me.

TERRY:
That's not nice!

KORVO:
I think I found it! Get back here.

sh*t. You broke the f*cking ray
into big, chunky pieces!

[Korvo thuds]
Ugh, God damn it.

[thuds]
Ow. Son of a bitch!

Ow! Ah! Oh! sh*t!
[Korvo thudding]

Whoa! Oh, God!

f*ck my life.

Oh, sh*t. Son of a bitch!

KORVO/TERRY:
Oh!

[wind gusting]

[soldier groaning]

There, there.

[gags]

Go to Jesse, my child.
[Sister Blista gasps]

You could have helped him.

I did.

[wind gusting]

SOLDIER:
Look, it's a Game Boy, but it's broken.

The infidels destroyed their heat source

rather than accept Jesse
into their hearts.

I fear the worst
for our sweet Jessius.

We must slaughter every one of them
whether they surrender or not.

They've been driven to madness
by their own depravity.

Without heat, they're sure to be weak.

But some could still see the light.
Right, Sister?

No! Jesse spoke to me.
She wants them all dead.

I can sense Jessius nearby.

We must forge ahead.

TERRY:
Come on. Scale. Scale.

Where's the scale?

KORVO: Terry... Ow!
[Korvo thuds]

I hit my soft head again.

TERRY:
Help me set up.

I'm worried our kitchen
is giving off CPK vibes.

KORVO:
You broke the ray!

We're stuck blind
and invisible forever!

TERRY:
Yeah, yeah, forever's a long time.

Nancy's coming now.

KORVO: If you won't respect me,
then I won't respect your crust!

TERRY:
Ah! [sniffing]

You did not just throw

my heirloom Goop Jade Egg brand
baking powder!

KORVO: Oh, don't want me
to break your stuff, huh?

Try making crust with no whatever this is.

TERRY:
[sniffs] That was peanut butter.

You don't need peeb for crust,
you dork!

Quit it!
[Korvo grunting]

TERRY: Nancy needs
a peaceful, Italiano space.

This is not molto bene!

You know what?

I'm happy I destroyed
the stupid invisibility ray.

[Korvo grunting]
At least this way,

I'll never have to see
your ugly face again!

KORVO: You take that back.
You cherish my face! Ah!

[utensils clattering]
TERRY: Ow! Not anymore, I don't!

I'm done taking your sh*t!

Forget the ray, forget the mission.

I am moving out!

Soon as I can find the door.

Ah.
[utensils clattering]

f*ck!

KORVO:
Terry?

Are you still here?

TERRY: Yeah. I got confused about
which side of the door I was on

and was too embarrassed to say anything.

KORVO: I'm sorry I threw
your nutrient powders.

I think something is broken in me
that a ray can't fix.

TERRY: You wanna know why I bid
on an afternoon with Nancy?

KORVO: Well, I thought it was
'cause you're a simp for Netflix celebs.

TERRY:
[laughing] Yes, but also,

remember when we went
on that vacation to Highland Park

and you had an amazing piece of pizza

and wouldn't stop talking about it?

That was Nancy's crust.

You always work so hard
on the ship and lead us so good,

I, I just wanted to bring a little slice
of Highland Park to you.

KORVO: That's, that's very thoughtful
of you, Terry.

TERRY: Korvo, the reason
I never want to help

with the sci-fi stuff is

I don't know math.

KORVO:
[gasps] Not even basic math,

like the Goldbach Conjecture

or the real-valued function
on a three-dimensional space?

TERRY:
You shame me. I am shamed.

KORVO: I actually like that
you don't know science stuff.

- TERRY: What?
- KORVO: It makes me feel necessary,

like a hunky
sexy science Shlorpian.

TERRY:
You were fronting for me?

KORVO:
I was fronting and stunting.

TERRY: But we said
we'd never front in this house.

KORVO: Agreeing to that
was my original front.

TERRY: It is sexy
when you know about the ship.

I got pretty hot

when you complained
about the neutronium core.

KORVO:
It's always low on ions!

TERRY:
Mm. I'll tell you what,

that tech support tone makes me goosh.

KORVO: What about when I yell
at the fluidic processors?

TERRY:
Drives... me... wild.

KORVO:
Terry, take your g*dd*mn clothes off.

TERRY:
Oh, I've been naked this whole time.

[both moaning]
[metal clanging]

Oh, f*ck.

[blender whirring]
[moaning continues]

Treat me like an Ektorp.

Call me a slutty little Malm.

Talk Swedish dirty to me.

KORVO: But IKEA legal.
They're so powerful.

TERRY:
Just do it after we cut away!

[moped sputtering]

KORVO:
Ungh, Billy bookcase!

[both grunting]

- Ribba frames!
- TERRY: Yes.

- God! Yes! Ugh, yes.
- Ungh! Kallax shelving!

TERRY: Keep saying IKEA merch,
it gets me so f*ckin' hot!

KORVO:
Allen wrench!

Home delivery!

Sustainability!

Meatballs!
[appliances clattering]

[both moaning]

[knocking on door]

TERRY: Oh, f*ck!
Oh, Nancy Silverton must be here!

Hello? Terry?

It's Nancy.

KORVO:
She just walked in?

TERRY: She's a legend.
She does what she wants.

Just shut up
and pretend we're not here.

I'm here for our
Master Craft Crust Session?

What the hell happened in here?

[sniffing] Raw dough

[sniffing] and raw dog!

Well, someone pumped the yeast in here!

Get out here right now or I'm leaving!

TERRY: Uh, hi, Nancy.
[Nancy gasps]

KORVO:
Hello, Mrs. Silverton.

Wh-who's there?
Show yourself!

TERRY:
It's, it's me, Terry.

I, I accidentally got myself
and Korvo here zapped

by an invisibility ray.

[sobbing]
And we're blind and we're invisible

and I won't be able
to knead dough with you.

It's all my fault!

KORVO: [crying]
Nancy, he cannot take all the blame!

This is Korvo, by the way.

I just learned about you today,

and now the ship's going to explode

if we can't get
our sight back and I...

Hush. Both of you need
to calm down.

There's no crying in the kitchen.

[sniffing and slurping]

Hm, photon entanglement.
I think I can help.

KORVO: You can construct
an invisibility ray?

No, but it's all ingredients.

Science, cooking.
Everything has a recipe.

I'm Nancy f*cking Silverton.

Just point me towards the basil.

[uptempo music]

♪

[timer dings]

[sniffs]
It's ready.

TERRY:
Nancy, we love you,

but we have no idea
what the tits is going on.

I created a re-visibility bouillabaisse.

It should restore you
to the visible spectrum,

plus it's f*cking delicious.

Now, where are you standing?

KORVO:
Lady, we have no idea where...

[bouillabaisse splashes]
[both screaming]

- KORVO: Oh, my God! It's so hot!
- TERRY: It hurts so much!

- KORVO: I can feel my skin melting!
- TERRY: I can see!

Thank you, Nancy Silverton!

Bon appetito!

[soldier sighs]

It's iced shut.

Break it down.

[hammer thuds]

[door slams]

SOLDIER:
It's empty.

Sister, where are the heathens?

They have to be here,
I heard them.

Here!

You're g*dd*mn right, I floss!

It's A Few Good Men
electric toothbrush

in the shape of Jack Nicholson's
character, Colonel Jessup.

Those damn fools must have escaped
to the backyard.

They'll be dead in days!

SISTER BLISTA:
"Montez told us you were coming.

Have fun freezing to death."

[screaming]

[sobbing]

Sister, it's sealed shut
with Nickelodeon Floam.

It's impenetrable when frozen.

We can still chip away at it.

It's not Gak, you f*ckin' idiot.

This sh*t is stronger than cement!

f*ck you, Greg! We have to try!

[Sister Sisto grunting]

They've ensnared us like rats!

They'll burn in the inferno
of Yumyu-hell for this!

Yumyu-hell?
Is that... is that something new?

Silence!

In the first days,
Jesse was a giver

but never giving back our old lives.

Her ways are mysterious.
With faith, we are guided.

Get that door open now!

[ice crackles]

[Nancy and Korvo giggle]

You know, you remind me
a lot of Wolfgang Puck.

[sniffing] You smell similar too.

[vests zap]

And where the hell have you been?

We went on an awesome adventure
through time, remember?

It was sick!

The Pupa got us
into the sexiest parties

and totally altered
the space-time continuum.

He Yoko'ed the Spice Girls
and discovered penicillin!

- Great.
- Huh, we thought you'd be mad.

Did Korvo fix the ship?

Yes. And he got AISHA back online,

so the world isn't going to blow up,

but now Nancy McBackstabberton and Korvo

are becoming best friends in the kitchen.

[Nancy and Korvo laughing]
KORVO: Oh, Nancy!

Sounds like they're really vibing.

Sorry, Terry, Nancy S. is pretty cool.

You're the one who invited her in.

Rookie mistake.

She's an Alpha, and you're like
one of the punctuation marks

that comes after the alphabet.

[Nancy and Korvo laughing]

Hey, Nance?
Got a minute?

I need a second opin'
on these tomatoes I've been growing

in the front yard.
[Nancy laughing]

Of course! Beefsteak or heirloom?

Huh, I see Kentucky bluegrass
and some dandelions,

I guess I could use
the leaves, but I...

What the hell?
Is this a time traveling vest?

TERRY: Have fun cooking
in your beloved ancient Rome!

[Nancy screams]
[vest zapping]

[Terry laughing]

You're going to love how open

and irregular this crumb is.

Where's Nancy?

She had to scoot,
official Chi Spacca business.

They ran out of bone-in shrimp.

Too bad,
we were just about to whip up

a second batch of sourdough.

Want to knead with me, Terry?

Yeah. I would love to.

[romantic music]

[foreboding music]

♪

[gasps]

♪

Huh?

Sister Sisto?

She dropped her Holy Bowble.

[snow crunching]

[suspenseful music]

♪

[Sister Blista gasps]

This must be
how she speaks to Jesse!

Sister!

Why are you following me?

Y-you left behind your Holy Bowble.

I thought you'd need it
to commune with Jesse.

That's why you're here, right?
So she can help us?

Right, right, yes, of course.

I was coming here
to commune with Jesse.

You mustn't be here
when she arrives...

The last of the rations?

Sister, what, what are you doing?

Oh, please.
You really can't see

that the church, the holy w*r,
the "word of Jesse"

has all been a way
to control people?

No, no, it's Jesse's light.

What the f*ck does that even mean?

She's a little alien.
She doesn't even emit light.

Wait, it's, it's not a metaphor?

Oh, my God, you're pathetic.

- You're, you're testing me.
- Ugh.

No one understands
the Wall like I do.

I've been watching
the tides of power

and when I had my chance,
I grabbed it.

The Wallians craved someone
to give them a fantasy.

They wanted to be owned, so I owned them.

But, but Halk?

You said Jesse could bring him
back to life.

[slap smacks]
[Sister Blista yelps]

Even if she could,

why would she bring back
your loser husband?

You made it all up?

You should have escaped
when you had a chance.

Everyone in the Wall is going
to die because of you!

[Sister Sisto laughing]

[Sister Blista grunts]

Good. I'm glad!

You really think I give a rat's ass?

You are all going die
in this stupid f*cking Wall,

while I go out into the world and live!

I'm going to sell my story
to Simon & Schuster for $ , !

[blood splatters]

[Sister Blista whimpers]

[body squelches]

Aw, geez,
I think I stepped on a grape.

Oh, hi there, little friend.
Did you get lost?

Uffda, this Wall's smellin'
pretty funky.

Yum hasn't been taking
good care of you guys.

What's your name?

Blist... I mean, Nova.
My name is Nova.

Cool name!

If it's okay, could you please fix
the temperature inside the Wall?

Sure! Easy peasy. Here ya go.

[thermostat beeping]

Thank you!
Oh, and my husband, he...

Okay, you take care now!
[Nova yelling]

I'll get you some Lucky Charms later
as a treat.

[drawer rumbling]

[thudding]
[grunting]

[doors creaking]

Sisto is dead.

She was a false prophet,
preying on us

because we believed
in something greater.

Jesse saved us all.

Her divine touch is
already warming our land.

Someday, our brothers and sisters

who Sisto forced out of the Wall
will find their way back.

If they survive the backyard,

they'll return to find the Wall
better than ever before.

Because from now on,

we build friendships instead of barriers.

There will be no more
power-hungry dictators or bloody wars.

There will only be people who care
and support each other

and a lasting peace inside the Wall!

It starts now.

Our winter is over!

Feel the warm air,

the wind of change that brings
a new life for us all.

[dramatic music]

♪

[mimicking laser fire]