Liyah: I got a call
just like any other call.
You know, a dude hit me up,
like, "What's up, Ma?
How are you? What you up to?
- What's your rates?
- (soft guitar music playing)
Liyah: How much you charge?
Da, da, da."
So I told him,
"What you trying to do?"
"Oh, I wanna get f*cked,"
"Okay," boom.
So he comes over,
everything is cool,
everything is normal,
everything was going great,
you know?
I just...
I don't expect anything of it.
Next thing you know, he's like,
"Can I use your bathroom
real quick?"
I said, "Okay sure, go ahead."
So I guess he said
he needs to freshen up,
or wash his d*ck or whatever.
So I'm like, "n*gga,
your d*ck should've been washed
before you came in this bitch."
So just as I'm about
to pull down his pants,
he sits on the bed,
and I'm right here in front
in missionary position
on my knees,
like, you know, getting down,
about to suck his d*ck,
and I pull down his pants.
Bitch, and I notice
there is a big-ass
m*therf*cking p*stol, bitch.
A big-ass glock next to him.
And I gag,
like, bitch, like honestly,
this was one of the most
scariest moments of my life
doing sex work, because
I didn't know what to expect.
I didn't know
what was gonna happen.
My first instinct was,
"Bitch, grab the g*n."
(ominous music playing)
That was my first instinct.
And I know people
just like, "Bitch,
that's crazy as hell.
Why would you do
some sh*t like that?"
Bitch,
the way that I thought was,
it's either his life or mine.
So I grabbed the n*gga's g*n
and he was like,
"What are you doing,
what are you doing?"
As he's walking towards me,
(g*n clicking)
(man panting)
I click it, I click the g*n,
but I notice
it's not going off,
bitch. So I'm like,
"Bitch, what the f*ck
is going on, hoe?"
Like, I'm just like,
I'm just clicking this g*n,
like, trying to get it
to go off, like,
I'm thinking, I aimed the g*n
at this n*gga head.
Like, I was bold-bold,
I don't know what
the f*ck I was thinking.
It didn't go off.
Mind you, I've never
sh*t a g*n in my life,
so I don't know
how this sh*t works, like,
so I was like, "Damn."
So at this point he gets
scared and he feel like,
"Oh, this bitch tryna k*ll me."
So he charges at me...
(tense funk music playing)
...and we start
wrestling over the g*n.
we're tussling over the g*n
and we f*cking
knocking sh*t over, bitch.
Dentin' holes in the wall.
We literally fought from here
down to the hallway,
and n*gga, we started tumbling
down the stairs together,
fighting over this damn g*n.
So I ran outside
by my neighbor's car.
My neighbor's
looking at me, like,
"Bitch, what the f*ck
is going on, bitch?
Don't put me in your sh*t.
I don't have nothing
to do with it, hoe."
He actually end up
just getting in the car,
and as he's like coming around,
I'm still ducking
because I don't want him
to do a drive-by on me.
So I'm still kinda, like,
getting low and like ducking.
But he ends up
just speeding off.
He just sped off. So I was like,
"Thank God, like, bitch,
this is over, I survived this."
Bitch I was like, "I'm done.
I'm done with this sh*t, hoe.
I'm never doing sex work
again in my life."
So, he gave me a...
he sent me a text,
"You ruined my night,
I'm sore, I'm limping,
my leg is broke.
I'm a rapper in Atlanta,
I'm known,
and I carry around my strap
with me because, you know,
it be girls, you know,
trans girls in the community
that be setting me up
and trying to rob me."
I was like, "So did you still
wanna do this?"
- (vinyl scratching)
- (Liyah chuckles)
He introduced himself again.
I introduced myself again,
and we decided to f*ck.
(jazz-funk music playing)
I play the street life
Because there's
no place I can go
Street life,
it's the only life I know
Street life
And there's a thousand
parts to play
Street life,
until you play your life away
You let the people see
just who you wanna be
And every night you shine
just like a superstar
The type of life
that's played
A ten-cent masquerade
You dress,
you walk, you talk
You're who you
think you are
Street life,
you can run away from time
Street life,
for a nickel or a dime
Street life,
but you better not get old
Street life,
or you're gonna feel the cold
There's always
love for sale
A grown-up fairytale
Prince Charming always
smiles behind a silver spoon
And if you keep it young,
your song is always sung
Your love will pay your way
beneath the silver moon
Street life
Street life
Street life
Street life
Street life
(song fades)
Daniella: Okay, get that skin
nice and c**t,
and nice and p*ssy.
So hopefully these trades
don't clock, darling.
My name is Daniella Carter.
I almost told you
my middle name,
but Daniella Carter
originally from Queens,
Queens, New York.
I guess this is a good thing
to see...
see toothpaste on
the mirror, right?
At least you know
the girl's got a fresh mouth.
Because I do electrolysis,
I can't wax my face,
I have to shave it like this.
But I like it,
it's actually, like really good.
So to any girls
who's trying to figure out
how to get a close shave,
Miss Conair, Miss Thing.
And give me my coin,
'cause I'm giving y'all
a little shout out.
But this is very much the tea,
to be honest with you,
I keep this in my purse.
If you out, I'm out and about
with a trade or something,
or you know, you gotta wake up
at somebody's house honey,
but you know
you're a very spiky girl,
make sure
you carry your little tools.
Cause you might've looked real
going in there at night,
'cause you don't want to walk
out there giving clock
during the day in these.
And if you do, f*ck it.
Just be you. Be true to you.
But this c**t? Oh, no, honey.
Not me. (chuckles)
I'm sorry, walk in your truth,
but that one's just not mine.
(chuckles)
(upbeat rock music playing)
Dominique: I had gotten
introduced to sex work
because I was working
at a restaurant,
a very famous restaurant
here in New York City,
called Lucky Chang's.
And all my girlfriends
were like,
getting all surgeries,
like breasts and faces
and nose jobs and you know,
I'm 19 at the time,
19 going on 20.
And like, you know,
we were making good money,
but it wasn't enough money
to pay
thousands of dollars
of surgery.
So I'm like asking
my friends, I'm like,
"Hey, you guys, like,
What? How did you do that?
Like, what's going on?"
And they're like...
they're like,
"Oh, you know girl,
we're working, you know,
we're working."
I'm like,
"Well, we're working here.
Like, what do you mean
we're working?"
And they're like,
"No, we're working."
The only reason I started
sex work was because
my mom, my sister
and I was homeless.
We had family members
letting us stay at the house,
but they wouldn't feel
comfortable with me
being there,
- because I was gay.
- (soft jazz music)
My oldest sister let us
come stay with her
and she was like,
she had just got married
and she was like,
"I don't feel comf... My husband
does not feel comfortable
with you staying here,"
Which I don't know why,
cause he never seen me.
Like, we stayed
in the basement or whatever.
He would never see me,
so I didn't understand
how he didn't feel comfortable
with me being there.
I felt like more... she was more
uncomfortable, you know,
not knowing who I was
as this new girl.
Like, but I transitioned
and she asked me
to leave her house,
that was the last straw for me.
I was like,
"I gotta find a way."
My mom and my sister left too
because they didn't...
they was like,
"She gotta go, we gotta go."
And we all slept in the truck
on National Highway,
I'll never forget.
And that was the first day
I started working
to put us in a hotel,
and then from then
I would like, catch my clients,
like every other day
to make sure
that I had enough money to pay
for like hotels, and make sure
we had food to eat,
and we would go hotel to hotel.
We did that
for a couple of years
until I got stronger
in my craft
and figured out
how to master this sh*t.
- (upbeat music playing)
- Yeah, mm-hmm
Yeah, uh, mm-hmm, uh
Yeah, uh, yeah, uh
Yeah, uh, mm-hmm
Girl the neighbors be
all in my damn business, girl.
These walls are paper thin.
Most of the time it's n*gg*s
that you would never know
that they get down,
you would never know.
I've had the most thuggish
hood type n*gg*s, you know,
saggin their pants,
"What up, bro?"
You know what I'm saying?
Like those type of n*gg*s,
like when you come around
you would never...
Dread heads,
fine-ass dread head
light-skinned n*gg*s
with big dicks,
you know the type that
the average girl would go for.
You know.
It's crazy because
these types of men,
like you would never think
that they would do anything
with a trans woman
or just a gay person
or anything.
But they would walk up to you
and say,
you know, it depends.
If you're getting a client
off your ad, that's different.
But sometimes
I meet clients in real life,
and they'll be like...
(nonchalant music playing)
"Hey, psst.
What's up, ma? I'm trying
to get at you," you know.
"Can I get your number?"
Just trying to, you know,
looking around and sh*t,
making sure nobody is watching.
I've had some type of men
that you just,
you would never expect at all
that they like trans women,
and especially ones
that you would never think
like to take d*ck up the ass.
Tarxan: n*gg*s can't accept
being with a trans woman
in public because it's their ego
and they going to feel like,
because that's what they like,
the world is gonna look at them
and belittle them
for what they like.
Or if they married like,
like I said,
if they married
or have children, you know,
that's something
that could compromise his whole,
- his whole...
- Lexx: His whole situation.
Tarxan: Whatever job he has,
you know.
It could stop, you know,
depending on what situation,
- Tarxan: but now...
- Lexx: He got, I mean,
that sh*t get a n*gga
f*cked up too.
That goes to him,
that's going for the dudes
not being true to they self.
That sh*t get a n*gga
f*cked up too.
Tarxan: But that's why
n*gg*s can't, they...
like if that's what you like,
you have to be true
to yourself, but they can't.
Because you done built
this whole life,
this whole lie,
you done lied your whole life,
of about, yeah,
you this tough top dude
or you this family man.
You got your kids, you married,
she owns half your stuff.
You can't lose none of that.
But you know, you in love
with a trans woman
and you can't
come out with that,
because that's gonna
compromise everything.
So like,
this person is transgender,
I know that they got a past.
I know that at one point
in time they was
- another gender, okay?
- Lexx: They was a, yeah.
So now I have like
within this mindset,
if I'm gonna start a
relationship with this person,
I have to basically
take in they...
see I have to accept that.
Now I think acceptance
is a lot of the problem too.
I think acceptance of,
they've overcome
whatever it is for them.
Their acceptance
is not at the same level
that the trans person's
is obviously,
because they've made that jump.
Tarxan: Yeah,
they already jumped.
Lexx: As a person, no matter
how attracted to it they
may be, no matter what,
they in their mind, they
ain't make that jump yet.
So because they ain't make
that jump, they're not gonna.
They ain't, they ain't gonna.
Tarxan: They physically
made the jump
- as far as dealing with one...
- Tarxan: Right, right, right.
- But not mentally as far as...
- Let's experience it.
Tarxan: Letting the world know
that that's what they like.
That's why I said if you like
them, go hard for them bro.
Because you, if you feel like
you're gonna be embarrassed,
you shouldn't be doing it
if you feel like you gonna
be embarrassed.
Go hard,
if that's what you like,
it's okay.
If you go hard,
who's gonna say anything?
What they,
what they gonna say?
Just don't try to live
a double life.
Don't live a double,
that's when you get caught up.
don't live the double life.
No ass.
But they still live.
Flat ass.
Flat ass bitch.
No I'm... (laughing)
I'm really a Kiki.
They say, "Yo, flatty,"
"Yo shorty with the flatty."
"Hey, yo, muma."
(laughing)
A girl finally get
a good sugar daddy,
"Oh yes honey, he got me
living like the white women."
Guess there is no successful
Black women in this world.
Can't be a fab Black woman.
Only gotta be the fab
white women.
I used to be problematic
like that too, so.
I wanted to be white,
I wanted to be c**t.
And it's giving, bitch,
they don't even want you
in their neighborhoods,
(chuckling)
at all.
So now you trying to keep up
with the f*cking Joneses,
and the Joneses
don't want you.
And that's how dumb we becoming.
All right, you ready?
Do, do, do, do, do
Do, ooh
Do, ooh
Do, do, do, do,
do, do, do
Rich-Paris: We met through
a mutual friend.
I'm not gonna say his name,
but we met
through a mutual friend
who called this one on FaceTime.
And when he called this one
on Facetime and I seen him,
I was, I went to flirting.
He was acting stuck up.
He didn't wanna
add me back on Instagram,
even when I
DMed him and was like...
- That's crazy you didn't say...
- "Are you gonna add me
- back on Instagram?"
- ...none of this on the call.
Now you wanna snitch on me.
That's so crazy.
That is so crazy.
I was already cooking spaghetti.
That sh*t was good as f*ck.
(laughing)
And then I knew he liked me,
because when we slept
together he nudged me. So...
I who?
- I nudged you?
- Yeah.
- What that mean?
- You put it up against me.
I knew about everything
that came with him as well.
Like, so I seen the pictures.
(spring boinging)
So I already knew.
I was with a girlfriend
of mine and we were in the Bronx
and we met these guys at a club.
We ended up
going home with them,
and we went to some
basement apartment.
And you know, we were
messing around with the guys,
oral sex, whatever.
Ah, ah
Hey, yeah
Yeah, yeah
(soft jazzy music)
Dominique:
It's like, after the fact
when I'm cleaning myself,
like standing there washing
myself and I had a skirt,
and he wanted to like,
go under my skirt.
And he like grabbed me
like by force,
like and felt
that I have a penis.
And the same time like came and
smacked me so hard in the face.
I ran out of the apartment.
The fact that, that happened
after the orgasm,
you felt embarrassed
after you came,
which is usually how it goes.
Like, v*olence doesn't happen
before the orgasm.
It happens after and then
they wanna realize and act out,
because they feel like
their masculinity is threatened.
And that's why like,
you know, you need to be honest.
I used to do those shows
all the time.
I used to have sex
with guys without telling them
I was trans and telling them
I have my period,
and bending over
with the lights off.
And you know,
at the end of the day
these guys wanna act out,
and of their masculinity,
they feel like
their masculinity is threatened.
The whole stereotype
that you're gay
if you sleep with a trans woman,
just because
we have male genitals
but a lot of us are way woman
than a lot of cis women.
The only thing is
we have male parts.
(engine revving)
What we usually do as trannies,
we be broken down,
but we need to stand out.
(laughing)
Okay, broken the f*ck down
and needed all of that sound,
all of that attention.
Maybe I'm lying to myself here,
you know, but,
it's kinda funny
because it's like,
with that moment
of the car going by,
like being broken down
but making it sound
like it's a m*therf*cking
Mustang or a Porsche.
It's like that's what we give.
We're good at being broken down,
but before people see us,
we have a great way
of making ourselves stand out.
Having that loud roar.
You know, it's like we gotta
be the bitch in the room
with the 28 inches.
You gotta be the bitch
with the biggest boobs,
the biggest body, you know?
And it's like,
but meanwhile whether you use
materialistic things
to cover it up or not,
are you really at peace?
You know, are you really
at peace with yourself
knowing that the best of you
is only seen
when you're a survivalist.
Something like for me
that I've always
had to think about,
is the best of you only when
you are seen as a survivalist
because that man
that's giving you the money,
that man that's helping us
pay our light bill, okay?
But he don't gotta worry
about that because his Stacy,
his Barbara Ann, oh trust,
she's laid up.
That bitch don't gotta
suck a d*ck, flip monkeys,
tickle a prostate
to get her light bill paid.
Okay?
(laughing)
(light thoughtful music)
Liyah: I can't speak
for other trans women,
but I'm not
a judgmental trans woman.
I think that
when they're around us
they feel like
they can release themselves,
and be who they really wanna be.
And they feel like
they don't have to hide
or put on a front.
that's also what guys
like about trans women,
because cis women tend to be
very judgmental.
Most cis women don't even
wanna date bisexual men.
As soon as they hear
you're a bisexual,
bitch, they're out.
Okay hoe, like that's,
that's done for.
Me personally,
I love bisexual men.
I've had butch queens,
if you don't know
what that is, that is gay men,
you know, that are more on
the feminine, submissive side.
I've had, you know, more
trade, top kinda guys that,
you know, there's some guys that
they just wanna f*ck you.
They don't wanna
touch the d*ck,
they don't wanna see the d*ck,
they don't wanna
do anything with it.
They don't wanna be
reminded of anything,
that you were even once born
male, or any of those things.
So you have different
types of clients,
there's different guys
that are into you
for different reasons
and different things.
I've been looking
for someone like you
A kind man
who's honest and who's true
The kind of man who will
love me just the way I am
Who will love me,
the good, the bad, the ugly
My name is Lo.
I wrote for people like
P. Diddy, Beyonc,
Usher, Mario Winans
to name a few.
Oh. Janet Jackson
Oh, another thing that I did,
I smoked weed with Rick James
You know what I'm saying?
I mean, I guess you could
say I'm a ladies man.
I love women
and I always go for the women
that n*gg*s afraid to even
approach,
you know what I mean?
I don't want somebody
like that he can get,
you know what I mean?
I want the one that they say,
"Oh. She ain't gonna
give you none.
All she gonna do is
do up all your dr*gs and leave".
That's the one that I want.
I ran across this girl online.
I was looking at her
like, "Damn, she bad".
And I was like...
I was started looking close
and reading the captions
and I was like,
"Oh, she's transgender."
And I was like, "How?"
I was like,
"She's like Beyonc fine".
Like to this day I still
never met her in person.
And when it came down to, okay,
come out to where she lives,
I would,
I just would never do it.
But I think it's because
I had too much going on,
and too many... If I didn't
have any options, like I said,
she would
probably be my girlfriend.
I get a lot of guys
that's bottoms
'cause I'm a top.
I'm a full top and
well, I bottom sometimes.
But mainly,
majority of my clients,
they call about big d*ck girls.
If you in the workin...
if you're a trans girl,
you know that
the clients like big dicks,
and if you don't got a big d*ck,
you won't make no money
in this industry
being a trans girl, I'm sorry.
And that's what the men
in, that come see me,
that's what they're
attracted to.
They want to see
a pretty-ass girl
with a big d*ck.
And titties, you gotta
have titties and body,
'cause if you don't,
they won't be attracted to you.
'Cause before
I got any work done,
they would walk out on me.
(chuckling)
They would turn around
and walk out on me.
If you didn't have
no work done, or like,
but once I started
getting work done,
I start getting clients like,
the price went up.
I met a girl,
let her give me head
It was fire
She told me she was trans
I said liar
She proved me wrong
sh*t was hot
I like what she's got
I know it's so hot
I don't give a f*ck
(cigarette sizzling)
I like that I like
that you like
sh*t we might f*ck
on two dykes
Tonight
Dominique:
I'm supposed to, you know,
have my... get my letters and,
and start
the hair removal process.
I've always wanted to have
a vag*na.
I think they said
it's like three hours,
and then you spend five days
in the hospital
where you have to deal with your
you know, your packing,
your catheter,
and your dilation.
Then you go home and you start
the long process of recovery.
It's a very long process.
It's just,
I embraced my transsexuality
through all the years
of sex work.
But I've played the both sides
of the fence.
I've lived my life as a woman
without telling everyone,
and I lived my life as trans.
And personally I like
the other side when I'm a woman
and no one knows that I'm trans.
Life is a lot better
that way for me.
I feel like it's a normal life,
you know?
More normal.
But it's a lot of work,
'cause you know,
you gotta to work on
your voice, your mannerisms,
you have to hide
who you really are.
It's very uncomfortable,
very taxing on the brain.
It's a very stressful situation.
But like, as that being said,
like life is a lot better.
You get treated better,
you get, you know,
people acknowledge you publicly,
they're more affectionate.
I will say this much.
I'm not villainizing
black men because,
or black people,
because I do have
some very great Black friends.
Like I have a Black friend
who lives down in Tribeca,
and I've known him literally
since I was 16 years old.
He thought I was a little
older, but I was actually 16,
and he was the first
actually example
of a successful Black man
that I had ever seen,
or encountered or
had access to.
And because of him I was like,
"Oh, Black men
can be successful."
But then I realized
in that very moment
that I'm dealing with
this Black successful man,
that I'm actually a part of him
cheating on a Black woman.
She's not aware of the fact
that her Black successful
husband is upstairs
in their beautiful condo
down in Tribeca
laid up with a
Black trans woman.
Right, but that could happen
with a white man as well.
Yeah, but the way that
it's happening with white men,
it's easier for them to
talk about the ways that
in our Black culture and
communities, that we're not.
Like we act as if
it does not happen,
until people are put
in positions to be shamed.
If anybody is better
at anything, I believe,
and this is no shade,
that Black people
are more prevalent
to be in a position
of the imposter syndrome,
and having to propagate
that because they're,
they've always been perceived
as a second-class citizen.
So they're always
trying to find a way
how to be seen as enough.
But that is
something so common.
You know? It's so common.
Like you may not understand it
to be that way
I don't but I do.
I don't understand it
cause I am not Black.
- Right.
- No, but...
And they'll give you
the treatment
that I will never get.
- But...
- They really will.
Okay, and I, okay.
- Simply, because you look...
- I'm just trying...
You don't look like,
you don't look like
a part of the problem.
You look like
you're a part of a solution.
For the females,
I want you to understand,
it's nothing but respect.
I don't bash females at all,
that's not something I do.
I'm willing to teach the females
how to keep these dudes.
The dudes love how dominant
I am, 'cause I like basically
make them do
what the f*ck I want them to do.
Like if they come here,
I'm like,
"Get on your f*cking knees
and suck my d*ck
and don't look at me".
That's how your average hood
n*gga want to be treated.
Like, that's how
they want to be treated.
Like, the reason
you girls can't keep,
the reason a lot of females
cannot keep a man
because you don't,
you gotta know how to operate,
how they operate. Bitch,
they go work 12-hour jobs.
Bitch,
they don't wanna come home
and hear you talking about,
"Who you've been talking to,
where you been,"
and da, da, da, da.
Bitch, I'll be on my knees with
my hands tied behind my back
with my mouth open,
like that's how you keep a man.
They come see us,
they don't go straight home
to y'all no mo'.
It's because,
and I'm not against y'all.
I'm willing to, I'm willing
to share this with you guys.
I want y'all to know like,
so y'all can keep y'all man,
'cause I don't want them.
Bitch, I just want a few dollar,
you know,
I want what they can
do for me, that's it.
I don't care about being
in a relationship with them.
I'm never gonna
be in love with them.
I don't care about
how they feel.
I don't care if they
had a bad day at work.
This is not
something I care about.
I only care about
their bank account,
their income...
(vinyl scratching)
...how good they can suck
d*ck and get on their knees
and get f*cked and that's it,
that's all I care about.
I really don't care about
nothing else with them.
Like, I just don't,
I don't have a heart
for them, and I'm being honest.
(soft progressive music playing)
(singers singing)
Lo: She's just an exotic looking
girl, she looks different.
Like you don't know
what nationality she is.
You know she's, she just looks
like an attractive woman.
that's you know,
that's all I see.
I just saw a girl that I liked
that I thought was a girl,
and then when I found out
that she was trans,
you know, I still liked her.
And then she has breasts.
I'm like, I might play with her
titties and all that.
I'm definitely not
touching any dicks.
(laughing)
You know, I might squeeze
her ass or something.
Nobody's touching my ass,
'cause that turns me off,
my d*ck go limp.
Even regular girls,
if they try to do that,
get too close with a finger,
limp.
I don't know, it's just I mean,
I'll probably
let her suck my d*ck
because she's so pretty
and she looks good,
you know what I mean?
It depends on what state
you catch me in, I guess.
Just not,
it's not that cut and dry.
If somebody's attractive,
they're just attractive.
(R&B music playing)
XoTommy: I feel like my oldest
brother on my mom's side
always knew but never said.
Well, I feel like he knew
when I started being DL,
I feel like.
Now my sister, she hangs
around gays all the time,
so I'm pretty sure she knew,
and she didn't have a problem
with it.
My mom, my older family,
like the older generation
of my family,
like my mom,
aunties and all of them,
they found out
through social media.
And one day I was in Atlanta
at a hotel room,
and my mama called me.
And I was just sitting
right there like, "Hey Ma."
She called me and was like,
"You know if there's anything
you need to talk about,
you know you can talk to me".
But in my head I'm like,
I know my mama don't like the
LGBT, she does not like gays.
Like, they old school,
my mom is 70.
I lied, very fast,
my mom is 70.
So if y'all like parents or
guardians are around that age,
y'all should know,
they don't play that sh*t.
Like they just don't, even
to this day it's still weird
having to talk to my mom.
Like, and it's super
weird to say that,
because it's like
my mom has been
like my number one
backbone since I was a kid.
I've never met my father ever,
for real, for real.
Like, I don't even know him.
His personality, I don't
even know his lingo.
My father started calling me
from prison last year around,
down around the time I got sh*t.
He was calling,
still never saw him.
He called me
and I had told him,
I think I had told him like,
after like the second
phone call I told him.
He was like,
"Oh, that's fine.
My best friend's gay
whoopty whoop."
But I wanna say a couple of
months went down the line.
Remember I told you,
I told you I ran into my,
ran into my brothers and I end
up talking to them and sh*t,
and they told me that my dad
was in there gettin down.
I was like.
Hey, hey
Hey, make my p*ssy say
Hey, hey
Yeah, make my p*ssy say
Hey, yeah,
make my p*ssy say
Hey, hey, mwah
Dominique: I wish like at least
like half of the guys
that I've dated, been with,
slept with, celebrities,
would you know, say that
they are been with me.
I mean any normal guy
would not be ashamed
to say that
they've slept with me.
And my thing is, why do you care
where somebody else
is putting their d*ck?
Like if they wanna put their
d*ck in the girl, in the wife
and they're trans,
like that's their d*ck.
That's who they wanna f*ck.
Why does everybody else care
about who wants to f*ck who?
It should be nobody's business.
Worry about who you're f*cking,
and that's it.
Like, this is the problem
with this world.
Everybody's so worried
about who's f*cking who,
when at the end of the day
they wanna f*ck each other.
So that's the whole tea.
(slow music playing)
I've been a fool
for too long
In my eyes, there's no wrong
Oh god, I'm blind
And now
he's lying to my face
I wish he knew a cooler way
To break
a girl's heart today
Dominique: And girls ask me like
why I don't give a f*ck
about trade, 'cause I don't.
They will come f*ck on you,
drain you of all your energy,
and go back home
to their girlfriend.
And what I had learned
about trade too,
like it's hard to deal
with them men
when they got baby mamas,
'cause they always,
they'll drop you at any time
to go back to them.
So that's why I learned like,
pay me.
Pay me
and get the f*ck outta my face.
But trade is
the average straight man.
And those are the people
that wanna bottom,
like it's the hood guys.
Like they want to get f*cked,
and they go right back
home to their girlfriends
like nothing never happened,
and get in the bed
with they girlfriends like
nothing never happened.
But it'd be like real tough,
rugged trade like,
and
but trade also
will k*ll you too.
So you have to be
very careful.
Things that, like even when
I think about my experience
as a Black trans woman
and how, you know,
most Black women think,
you know,
that their husbands
aren't sleeping with us.
That their husbands
aren't attracted to us.
But they're the first ones
that when they see us,
they'll call us out
and say that we're beautiful.
"You really gorgeous,
you're a woman."
But until the moment
they find out
that their son
or their husband likes us.
It's for them,
it's surprising to find out
that their kids can be gay.
If they understood that
it's something in our culture
that your kid can be trans,
then we wouldn't be
in a position where, you know,
at a higher rate Black
LGBTQIA plus
youth are being rejected.
You have to sound a certain way,
you have to look a certain way.
You have to be a certain way.
That most of the time the strife
that comes with who we are
is because we didn't
become who our parents
- wanted us to be.
- They wanted us to be.
And I don't need to be
anything you say I need to be.
Because when your husband
encountered me,
he saw me as a Black woman,
and he too would agree
that I deserve protection
as a Black woman.
But your ignorance
keep making you think
that he don't see me as one.
When I carry out my Black
womanhood experience,
know that it looks
so much like you,
and it is very close to home.
It is so close to home
that I may be in your home
when you're not there.
Lord, I woke up
this morning
With my pork-grinding
business in my hand
Yeah, I woke up
this morning
With my pork-grinding
business in my hand
Lord, if you can't
send me no woman
Please,
send me some sissy man
Hey, Kokomo
I do this literally every day.
Literally, every day I'm in
the mirror looking at myself...
(laughing)
Yes, period.
I don't like
the concept of passibility,
because I feel like...
I feel like f*ck passibility.
Everybody should just do them
and just be them, you know?
And not every girl's
gonna pass.
that's, that's just
the reality of it.
Not every girl is gonna pass
to look like a biological girl,
you know?
But it's, I feel
like it's about working
with what you got...
just owning your look
that's unique to you.
There's all types of girls
out there, you know?
There's alternative girls,
there's more, you know,
hood bitch type of girls.
There's the white college
girls type of trans girls,
like nerdy, you know, anime,
Black girl lovers,
like trans girls, you know?
They're into cosplay
and stuff like that.
So there's all different types
of trans women out there.
Like, there's not
just one girl.
Personally,
I don't care about passibility,
because I feel like
it stops you from living life
the way that
you wanna live life.
And I don't feel like
you should live by rules.
You already transitioned
and said f*ck it,
you might as well just do
what you wanna do anyway.
A person could be
in the suburbs, right?
And raise they child
to be the most, you feel me?
But they be a gangster,
they out there sh**ting,
selling dr*gs.
And they parents ain't,
they have great jobs.
- Lexx: They have no reason...
- They don't have to do
- none of that.
- Lexx: There's no reason for...
- You feel me?
- Lexx: There's no reason
for them.
And then you see
somebody in the hood,
they're parents was hood,
ghetto, cr*ck baby,
you know, cr*ck whatever.
And he ain't want
none of that now,
he wanted to be
something different.
He wanted something
totally different, like...
You know, this is what
you wanna do, just be real.
Don't be hiding
and actin' like you not
be real n*gga.
Lexx: Have a conversation first.
Tarxan: The f*ck, n*gga?
You like dudes
n*gga you like dudes?
I don't wanna hear that.
Now you trying to hide,
you in school,
you wanna be, no n*gga.
If n*gg*s try to make fun
of you, b*at them n*gg*s up.
- That's right.
- The f*ck, n*gga?
You gotta be a tough gay n*gga.
The f*ck,
- like that's it.
- Tarxan: Toughen up.
My son, he gonna be
a tough gay n*gga, that's it.
Gonna be knockin'
these n*gg*s the f*ck out,
- like that's how I see it.
- (Lexx laughing)
You can't be soft and gay.
My son,
I'm gonna be real with him.
If you gonna be gay, n*gga,
you better be
the toughest n*gga in there,
'cause they gonna
tease you, n*gga.
(traditional music playing)
What they gonna say, n*gga?
My pop's a real n*gga,
I'm gay, I'm knocking you out.
What's up? Whatchu wanna do?
(Lexx laughing)
(traditional music continues)
If she had the full
operation, and you know,
and she had a vag*na now
and didn't have that,
those parts,
I probably would've
met her by now.
I would've probably,
wouldn't have kept, you know,
hesitating and not doing it,
not going to,
not just going to,
just to meet her,
you know what I mean?
In fact, I prob-
I know I probably would have.
It's like, I don't wanna feel,
feel that just like
poking up against me.
Like I don't, I don't have
no desire to, to feel that.
But you know,
it's just I look at,
I look at her as, as a woman.
And so when things come,
when facts come around,
like to make it seem like,
oh well, she's not all
the way a woman yet.
So that makes,
that makes it, you know,
that's where I feel
I can't go through with it,
you know what I mean?
Like when I see my sister and
them nowadays, I don't even...
it's not that I don't
respect them.
It's just I don't, I don't
have a heart for them.
Like because that's why I,
that's why I think
I love so hard now.
Don't wait for me, honey
That's why I think
I love so hard now, because...
like people showing you,
and that's the thing
about our community now,
is why the gay people
can't love each other
and they always fighting
and da, da, da,
because they don't
grow up in homes
where they teach you
how to love.
They just throw you
out to the street.
And you know, I had to learn
as a adult, as a teenager,
how to be in a adult world,
and like dealing
with different people.
And like, that's why today
I can't even date guys now
because I've dealt
with so many different men.
It's just my brain is so
connected to like work,
work, work, work. If you don't
have anything for me,
I don't wanna deal with you.
You can't do this for me,
I don't wanna deal with you.
Can't buy me this,
I don't wanna deal with you.
It's, it done got
like that for me.
You'll always be my heart
Now I can laugh
and kiki and ha-ha with them,
but at the end of the day,
I know what they did to me
as a child.
Like put me out on,
like put me,
pushed me to the streets
like that.
I can't be around them
for too long.
Like my brother now, I can't
even look him in his face.
Like I,
I won't even look at him.
So when trans, when
us trans women out men,
I'm not a big fan of that.
Because you know,
we have to make a living
at the end of the day.
A lot of us are secrets
to many powerful people
who pay our rent
and you know, take care of us.
And when you expose them,
it just dries up the well.
Girls like me, you know,
we need that well
to be plentiful,
you know what I mean?
So I'm not with exposing.
I really don't appreciate
when girls do that,
or try to blackmail guys
or you know,
because that doesn't bring
good karma, you know?
And the end of the day
they're suffering,
because they're not living
in their truth,
and that's enough punishment
as it is.
They have to lay
with that every night.
By exposing them, you're
not really getting anything.
You're just ruining the game,
and we're all in the game.
It doesn't only affect you,
it affects other girls too.
I've got a man back at home
He ain't worth a dime,
but he's my own
I ain't going broke with you,
n*gga please
'Bout to go and get
myself a sugar daddy
Don't tell me to get a job
Look at me boy, I'm a star
Woman go crazy
out in these streets
'Bout to go and get
myself a sugar daddy
Liyah: Most of the time,
like as trans women,
we're not meeting the guy
who's already this millionaire
and they're taking us
to the penthouse,
and they're putting us up.
Like no,
we're meeting guy after guy,
who's this is guy after guy
who's in denial after denial.
And so in no way
are they there to protect us.
They're there to exploit us,
to fetishize us.
And so whatever we face
as a reality,
once we leave that experience
that benefited them,
they don't give a f*ck.
But so many of us are caught up
telling each other like,
"Oh girl, don't worry
about getting a job.
Oh girl, don't pursue
your real dream.
Bitch, cause you can make a coin
and that's gonna be easier."
But they don't tell her
how easy it is
when you lose
a sense of yourself,
when the only thing you know
of value to yourself
is what a man put on you.
And that's not healthy,
that's not reality.
Like, and I'm not shaming
it, I'm not shunning it.
I'm not saying that
it didn't work for me, it did.
It gave me some of the greatest
experiences of my life.
It even taught me value
from a man, okay?
Because I walked in
playing cheap c**t,
and he threw stacks on my ass,
you know?
And so, so at one point
I would even be the person
to say, "Yes that's okay,
get your coin, catch your bag,"
and I would've never told
you to go get your knowledge.
And that's f*cked up.
That's f*cked up that we've
normalized as a culture
of whoever we are,
whether it's cis women,
whether we trans women,
whether we g*dd*mn
just m*therf*cking
survivors in the hood, okay?
We've normalized
letting grown men
take advantage of our bodies.
But we all out here
m*therf*cking preaching,
"Women lives matter,
trans lives matter."
Bitch, how much do we
really matter when we know
that we are still
seeing each other
right after
that m*therf*cking protest
in the hands of the man
that could k*ll us,
all because of survival?
For what I'm going,
I'm supposed to tell people,
"Oh this sh*t is cool,
this sh*t is safe"?
Nah, that's not like, don't let
no m*therf*cking fancy thing
that gets in front
of you confuse you
as to what the f*ck this is.
This is survival work,
this is risky sh*t.
This is putting your
hands in the life of a man
that don't know
sh*t about you.
And the only thing
he there for
is escaping his own
g*dd*mn reality.
And you know what
that reality is?
Ten times better
than the one he's giving you.
A lot of girls don't make it out
of it, to be honest with you.
A lot of girls do not
make it out of it.
'Cause I've almost been k*lled
like two to three times.
Like just to even
still be here,
like all my girlfriends
are dead and gone.
All my girlfriends
are dead and gone.
Yes from sex,
all my girlfriends.
One HIV, one,
two clients k*lled.
Two of my girlfriends
k*lled by clients.
(g*nsh*t blasting)
One of the K*llers got out by,
they charged him
with manslaughter,
said that she tricked him.
(g*nsh*t blasting)
And my other homegirl k*lled
on Candler Road in Decatur.
(g*nsh*t blasting)
Daniella: Whoever the k*ller was
she let him in,
it was a client.
'Cause her last calls was,
"How much did you have?"
And you just gotta be
careful, 'cause like I don't,
like people done came after me.
Like, and then when
you put your pictures,
your numbers, your
locations on the internet,
you got people all,
from all around the world
is watching you,
and you gotta understand that
and you have to be open
for that like...
And you have to know
how to protect yourself.
Like,
I had to learn all of that.
But like coming
outta high school,
I didn't even have a education.
I didn't,
when I came outta high school,
I didn't even know how to read.
I didn't know how to write.
I didn't know how to
really do a lotta sh*t,
and they still graduated me.
I still walked across that
stage and got my diploma,
and da, da, da, da.
But I didn't know
how to do a lot of sh*t,
and like being in the sex work
taught me a lotta sh*t,
like my math and all that.
The sh*t that I need to know
to survive, for real.
Like, but I did what I had
to do to survive, so.
'Cause nine times outta
10 what you did doing,
the monkey flips,
the dog tricks for,
there's a woman
that he respects,
that he says
he respects her value,
and allows her to lay in
his home that he provides for,
and gives her the world.
But come to our
rinky-dink-ass apartments,
our so-called
hood-ass environments,
where they women
won't even come to.
Why they women
feel disrespected?
Because they gotta come here in
these environments to escape.
And we, but we've normalized
that being degraded,
being devalued,
not realizing that this man
is bringing pocket change, okay?
To my real f*cking reality,
thinking it's doing something.
And because I'm so
g*dd*mn oppressed, okay?
I'm letting this
rich man come give me,
uh, pennies of his investment,
okay?
And in any other woman's life,
and make me think
I'm grand from that?
Make me think
I'm safe from that?
'Cause why is it that
a woman got a suck a d*ck
to be able
to go to Benihana's?
(gentle whistling music)
Daniella: Why is it?
A lot of b*tches at
Benihana's won't say it,
but why is it you had to
suck a d*ck to get there?
Oh,
and to the independent bitch,
who you didn't have to do it,
kudos to you, sis.
You had agency,
you had resource.
But you know what a lot of us
m*therf*ckers on the other side
of this Benihana's
experience had to go through?
A lack of agency,
a lack of resource.
And the only resource
we had was to the men, okay?
That fetishized us
to get us to the table.
So my bad if my glamour
has had to come through
sucking a d*ck to get there.
My bad if me being real enough
to not wanna be in my hood
and be limited to that reality,
and I had to put myself
in that position
to sit next to you.
My bad.
My bad if that's
how it makes you feel
when you are uncomfortable
around me.
But know that my money,
that my swipe
has the same m*therf*cking
value as your sacrifice
to start your Fortune 500,
to start your
cornerstone business.
'cause all it is is two
different sacrifices,
and I used my body
unfortunately,
and you used your brain.
But you know what?
We were just two ambitious women
trying to ultimately
achieve a goal.
(singing in French)
Yeah, I grew up in a small town,
Hiram, Georgia,
real little country town.
Grew up with both of my parents
in the household,
and I grew up in church.
My dad never went to church,
but my mom always
had us in church
every Sunday and Wednesday
night and all that.
I had a, you know,
the all-American upbringing,
I guess.
I always had girlfriends.
You know that's,
it's a pretty normal life.
And after, I don't know
why, after all this time
I found myself attracted to this
one particular trans girl...
you know,
after the norm for so long.
What I'm doing right now,
like a lot of n*gg*s are scared
to do and would never do.
I know they're just
waiting on somebody to,
to say what I'm saying
so they can
feel better about themselves.
And I haven't, I haven't
even had an experience.
I'm just admitting
to an attraction.
One of the things that gave
me the courage to do this
is I think about
so many people I know
that are actually acting
on their attraction
and getting caught
and still lying about it,
and still like
in denial about it.
So I was like,
it made it easier for me
to just say I have
an attraction to somebody.
At this point
we are at a good place,
and I definitely look at her now
as more than just a sex object.
I definitely have gained
some kinda feelings for her.
I don't know
where it's going or,
I mean we still haven't met
or whatever,
but I definitely look
forward to hearing from her
at some point every day,
you know?
And we, and I'm just,
I'm just enjoying
getting to know her.
Lexx: When we was growing up,
we was always taught,
- you can't be like this...
- Tarxan: Can't accept that.
You can't be that way.
You, f*ck that sh*t.
You know, "None of my sons,
and none of my nephews,
and none of my brothers
gonna be that way," so.
I seen a lot of,
you know, people,
h*m* or transsexual
people get picked on.
I seen a lot,
just because of who they was
or you know, how they looked.
It was just something,
It was just something they did
and it wasn't, you know,
at the time,
me being young, you know,
I didn't know how to
feel about it, you know?
I didn't know if it
was the right thing
to help or not help, but
you know, it happens.
it's not accepted in g*ng
life at all, in g*ng culture,
- that's the thing, like...
- We're taught to procreate,
- you know what I mean?
- Yeah, nobody...
Lexx: We need to be able
to have our kids,
and our kids
need to have kids.
So it's like, it starts
boiling down to like,
a whole ideal way of like
thinking and living your life.
So if that's what the old G's
is teaching you,
if they teaching you
to hate another person,
and they show you all this love,
when you young,
that's what you gonna do.
You gonna hate
who the people that love you
tell you to hate.
The Black experience
has always been limited
to the way
in which a white person
told us we could live, okay?
And we thr*aten
that as Black trans people,
because what we're saying
to Black people
who had been conditioned
in that mindset,
that a Black man
should be this way,
and a Black woman
should be that way.
we're saying,
"f*ck all that."
And we're basically saying,
"I'm not 'bout to be
your good n*gga, I'm not about
to be your cute house n*gga.
I'm 'bout to be me".
And I think so many of us
as Black people,
whether we are rich
or poor, we are always,
especially in front
of white people,
we always trying to figure out,
is it okay to be
the field n*gga,
or do we gotta be
the house n*gga?
You know, and for trans people
we're interrupting
that in itself,
because we're saying
we can't be in the field,
because there's nobody
in the field that accepts us.
We can't be in the house,
so there's nobody there
to accept us.
So we gotta always play
the in between,
trying to find our house
or field, you know?
And I, and I use that
language in particular
because it all to me goes
back to sl*ve mentality, okay?
Because it never, I've never
understood this sh*t, okay,
as Black people,
how we could do this sh*t.
We all scream the narrative
that we oppressed,
that we all bound
by the white man,
but we're the first
m*therf*ckers
to turn our nose up
to the next person who wanna
stand out and be different.
Okay, like we are
literally the first
f*cking group of people
to do it to each other.
So the same way the white man
won't accept you,
now 'cause I come
with my Blackness
and presenting it
in a trans way,
now you can't accept me?
In the eyes of the
white man we all n*gg*s,
whether I show up
as a man in a wig,
or you show up
just as a man, okay?
You a n*gga, and that's it,
period.
We m*therf*cking hurt people
hurting people, but we,
it's just very few of us
out there, okay,
very few who got a little
change in our pocket.
Think we better
than the next one.
And now all of a sudden
we should define
what a Black man or woman
should be?
Kiss my ass.
- (singers chanting)
- (rhythmic percussion music)
My name is Lenox Love,
and I'm the CEO
of Lenox Love Entertainment.
I promote events that features
transgender dancers
and entertainers.
How I started Hush Night
is ultimately I'm,
I am trans attracted.
I do like trans women
as well as women,
I like all women, all women.
Back in 2003 I was
fresh outta high school,
but I wanted to try
to meet trans women.
And the only place in Atlanta
that you could meet
trans women
was on the stroll, as they say.
I've always thought that
was kinda degrading,
at least for the guy,
and I'm pretty sure for
the trans woman herself.
But and I've,
and I never really meshed well
with just in a all-out
LGBT club.
So I thought it would
be a great atmosphere
to have it in like
a stripper atmosphere,
instead of a drag show
and stuff like that.
Because like I said it is,
it's a little bit different.
The drag show is different
than an actual stripper.
So this is a place
where you can get your rappers,
your regular guys,
your hood guys, the trade trade.
I mean the trade, bitch,
if you really wanna
get some trade without being
out in the streets
and no judgment,
this is the place to come.
Because Hush Night
is like for the girls
that wanna come
and get the trade.
Like bitch, the trade is no,
like they all in the building.
Like,
and it's no f*cking judgment,
and you can do whatever
the f*ck you want.
Like they got like private
rooms and stuff like that,
and you can f*ck
and you can suck,
and whatever you wanna do,
but be safe and be clean
and keep it discreet.
I've even seen like
professional athletes
inside of here before.
Too many empty encounters
So much I sort of
lost track of all the men
All the many men I like
Just take advantage of me
I know I didn't
mean anything
You see I did it,
but I never did it in love
Liyah: I want out,
I need something else to do,
because I don't
realistically know
or see how long that
I can see myself doing this.
And it's like, in this game,
bitch,
either you get out of it,
or you end up dead,
you end up popped,
and that's just how it is.
(sweet gentle music)
And I know that I have more
potential to do better.
I have a good,
I have a great personality.
A lot of people know me
for my personality.
I feel like I have
so much more, more potential.
And I feel like so many
other trans women
have so much more potential.
Ooh, ooh
Ooh
Unfortunately because of
the society that we're in,
and the way that jobs
are set up for trans women,
it's hard to get out the game,
you know?
For some girls,
it's all that they have.
(gentle thoughtful music)
Personally for me, my dream
is to make it outta sex work,
and to put my abilities
into something else.
I just wanna try
something different.
I never learned
anything else in life.
Like and I just, in my
mind for a long time
I just depended on catching
a client, catching a client.
I've been doing it
all my life.
Like, I don't know nothing else,
I don't know nothing else.
Like all I know is escorting,
and I wanna try to
do something different.
And I was, probably with
the money I was making,
I'm like, what else
could I, I thought of, I,
it took years for me to
even come up with this.
I'm like,
"Well, what else can I do
to make the kind of money
that I'm making
without doing something
illegal?"
And then I done been to jail
three times from this.
I done been to jail
like three times.
The next time
will be a felony.
If I can find something,
another way to make my money
the way I, as much
money as I'm making
in the escort industry,
I'll do it.
And the music was the first
thing that came to my mind.
So I was like, "Well, if I
can get my music out there."
And then like seeing other
trans girls on reality shows
and stuff like that,
kinda brought attention.
Like, I kind of gave up.
So I'm just like, "They don't
wanna hear no trans girl,
they don't wanna
see a trans girl."
And then when I kind of seen
some girls on reality shows
and stuff like that,
kinda gave me life.
So I'm just like,
if I can use the music to get,
to reach the people.
And I really don't want
nothing from it,
like I really don't want,
if I make money from it,
it's fine.
But I really wanna just
send a message,
and I want them to hear me.
I want them to be able
to hear me.
And for the girls
that can't speak,
I wanna be the girl that,
I wanna be the girl that
speak for them, like honestly.
It's so crazy. I've been wanting
to tell my story
for a long time.
(soft poignant music)
Because I want people
to understand that it's okay.
Like when you push
your child out to the,
not even push your child out,
'cause I can't say my mom
pushed me out, but just being,
just being something
that you was born to be.
Like how could people
look down on you
and say things to,
to make it not, people,
I cannot believe
how the world make you think
that you've done something
wrong, if you came out gay,
or you know,
as a boy being feminine.
They make you, they make you
think that you're one way.
Like, it's f*cking ridiculous,
and I'm sick of it.
It's so funny that
when we try to understand
why we can't have relationships
with the Black community,
and it's,
like in particular too,
like relationships
with like Black women.
And like,
I had to tell my mother this,
and I don't know if this
could help, but it's,
I had to tell my mother
that when I chose
not to be a Black man,
and I transitioned
into what I believe
is my Black womanhood,
you know, identifying
as a Black trans woman,
I had to in some ways
process with her
how it feels to lose
another Black man again.
She was so used to losing
Black men in her life,
because she wasn't able
to have that so-called,
you know, traditional
relationship, the way we see
so many of our
white counterparts have.
So she already normalized
being disposable,
and she was dependent
on that Black child
to do everything her
Black lover couldn't do.
And so she feels again
abandoned by another Black man
when this Black son says,
"I'm becoming a Black woman."
And I think that that is,
if I be real, that has to hurt.
That has to hurt
as a Black woman
to be hurt by Black men,
then give birth
to a Black man and he says,
"I'm not here to protect you.
I'm here to be in some ways
just as vulnerable as you."
(soft thoughtful music)
Daniella: I think that's hard
for a lot of Black women
to accept.
And so when so many Black
mothers stop expecting
their Black children
to grow up and be essentially,
you know,
those freedom fighters.
You know, because a Black woman
don't know how to be Black woman
unless a Black man tell her
she can be,
unless a white man
give her the opportunity
to flourish
and then become successful.
And then all of a sudden
she's now representing
Black success.
So we are always existing
around systems,
or who we should be
for someone else.
And that's why Black women
are so forceful
in trying to make their Black
kids conform to that system.
And it's scary, it's scary
that they would rather us
conform to a system
that will k*ll us,
than to step outside
of that system
and redefine our own lives
in any way we can,
in order to live out
a truth that allows us
to be our full self, our...
reaching our fullest potential.
You know, Black women hasn't
been able to do
that themselves
without needing a Black man.
Let's be real, like
there's so many we know,
but it started off with a man
giving them an opportunity.
It starts off with some man
having the access first.
It didn't just start off like,
you know,
how many Madam CJ Walkers
do we know?
And then once they become
the Madam CJ Walkers,
how many of them
are accessible?
So even the Black woman who
learned how to love herself,
she's no longer accessible
to teach that girl
in the community where I was
raised how to love herself.
So I'm dealing
with broken Black women.
I'm not dealing with
liberated Black women,
because the liberated
Black women
don't got time
for the broken Black women.
They don't got time for
the broken Black people.
"Oh, because I don't
experience that,"
is how they look at it.
But remember this, the way
you not experiencing it
is the way I'm experiencing it,
and what makes my sh*t
so different?
Because I'm not carrying it out
the way you want me to?
And now ask yourself, who are
you and who are you really,
when God is gonna be the one
to judge you?
Your man didn't even know
I was transgender
and came ready to climb my hole,
giving me all my
Black womanness,
but you still don't think
we in this fight together.
it's weird, so weird how
your man will climb your back
and climb my hole and see us
both as equals, but you can't.
- (thoughtful music playing)
- (birds tweeting)
(Liyah laughing)
I've been crying so long
I could fill a river basin
I feel the scorchin'
heat on my back
I've been praying so long
That the good Lord
come and take me
Death would be easier
Then raising
someone else's child
While mine been sold away
The husband that you're
laying with
Come night is raping me
You know the truth,
it bothers you
You act like you don't see
But who gon listen
to lil ol' me
Ain't I a woman
Mm, mm,
ain't I a woman too
Cook your food,
wash your clothes
Till my fingers
bloody red and
Yet you treat me like
I owe the debt
And I'm fed up, God knows
I done spent my
whole life serving
Even freedom couldn't
get my time back
From raising
someone else's child
And mine been sold away
The husband
that you're laying with
Come night still raping me
You know the truth,
it bothers you
You act like you don't see
Who gon listen
to lil ol' me
Ain't I a woman
Ain't I a woman too
Ain't I a woman too
(funky dance music)
It's like me.
It's big, but... and strong
but soft on the inside too.
'Cause I'm soft
and I'm delicate,
even though I've been
broken down a lot.
But I'm still here.
Don't let the world
get you down
Keep your head up high
Don't let your problems
get you down
Lift your spirit to the sky
We are the fabulous
children of the world
We are
the children of the rainbow
We're fabulous
You're k*lling
my sisters every day
You turn a blind eye
and simply walk away
Ooh, I wonder why
Is b*ating me a crime
Crew member: Wit' yo' ugly ass.
Quit looking in
the damn camera.
(laughing) I don't know
what else to look at,
- I'm not sure...
- Crew member: Her.
All right, I'll look at you.
Yes it's time
Don't let the world
get you down
Keep your head up,
keep your head up high
Ooh, talking to my sisters
Don't let your problems
get you down
Lift your spirit to the sky
We are the fabulous
children of the world
She couldn't take it, darling.
She was getting it,
but that was cis-late,
dried ends kinda fish.
(laughing)
Dominique: Very Donna Summers.
Love to love you baby
Love to love you baby
Do, do, do, do
- I need a bump.
- Crew member: Yes, right.
Trust, and a hee...
and a sickening heel,
and be very,
- Look.
- I see it.
Yeah
Baby, the trans girls,
the boys are coming
to the yard, okay?
All of them.
They don't wanna admit it.
But they, they're comin'
to the yard, babe.
Don't let the problems
get you down
Lift your spirit
to the sky, yeah
If I was a...
be a A-list celebrity today,
I still would be, I think
I would still be into sex work.
'cause I'm just not f*cking
for free, that's just, period.
I'm not,
I'm not f*cking for free.
I don't give a f*ck
if it's like,
if I was on the billboards,
I'm still not f*cking for free.
They gone pay me,
I'm sorry.
(film clicking)