Pixie (2020)

[bunniefuu]

You always encouraged
me to cause a spot of trouble.

So, today's the day we finally set a b*mb
under this town for what they did to you.

But don't worry, Ma.

It'll be over soon,
and I'll be...

halfway across the world.

Where you'd want me to be.

You not gonna talk
about it?

Suit yourself.

- It's my girl.
- Oh, yeah?

- I thought you'd broke up.
- We're on a break.

Oh. And how long's
that been going on now?

Six months.

We still meet up for coffee
from time to time.

Couple of macchiatos, like.

I'm glad you find it
so amusing.

Well, this is it.

It's just, she's been spending a
lot of her time with this fella.

If you've broke up, isn't she
allowed to be seeing other people?

We're just having a wobble.

Colin, man, six months
is more than a wobble.

It's a wobble,
Fergus, okay?

Ready?

So, what's this
fella's name, then?

Tyrone.

Tyrone?
Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone.

No, I don't know any Tyrones.
He must be from out of town.

He'll wish he was from out of
town when I get my hands on him.

She probably told the
poor lad she was single.

Ah, leave up. She'll come back.
We've got a connection.

Right you are.

Stop what you're doing,
all of youse!

- Where's the stash?
- What stash? This is a church.

Gentlemen, this is a place of worship.
A holy place.

The dr*gs. The dr*gs!
Where are they, Father?

dr*gs have no place
in the Catholic Church.

- Who are they?
- This is Father Shenwari.

And this Father Nabi.

They've travelled to Ireland
from Afghanistan

to learn about the Troubles

in order to take the lessons that we
have learned back to their own community.

Can you, uh,
give us a moment?

Excuse us.

Are these fellas proper?
Are you sure about this?

I don't know.
There was meant to be money and MDMA.

Kilos of the stuff changing hands.
That's what she said.

Who's "she"?

- I said "he." The boss.
- Well, it don't look like it.

Oh, sh*t, man.

I didn't know they had
Catholics in Afghanistan.

Say a Hail Mary.

They don't speak the language.

If he's a Catholic,
he knows a Hail Mary.

Say it.

Take your g*n out of Father
Nabi's mouth and be gone.

- This is a church.
- There's a bag!

What's in the bag?
What's in the f*cking bag?

Open it.

What the...

Jesus.

Look at this, Fergus.
What a rush, eh?

Yeah.

Don't be so cool
about it.

This is a lot of gear,
isn't it?

Oh, jackpot.

Let's get a look
at your miserable teenage mug.

- Hey, hey! Leave that.
- Relax. It's not that bad.

"Tyrone"?

Little fucker.

Listen, man...

You slimy, inbred,
cheating assh*le!

She said you were through.
Please.

Look, don't do anything crazy,
man, okay?

This was all her idea,
I'm telling you.

What were you gonna do to me to make
sure you could get away with it?

We were gonna go to San Francis...

This is the final call

for Flight 162
to San Francisco.

Final call for Flight 162
to San Francisco.

What's up? This is your boy Fergus,

aka the Baddest Man
On The Planet.

Leave us a message,
and I'll get back to you

whenever I bloody well feel like it.

Fergus, where are you?
What's wrong? What's happened?

Where's Colin?

Flight 162 to San Francisco
is now closing.

Flight 162 to San Francisco
is now closing.

Sligo, please.

Hey.

- All right, my love?
- Have you seen Fergus?

- No.
- How about Colin?

I thought
you two were... No?

Neither of them have come in,
as far as I know.

Can I get you anything?

Tequila would be grand.

Move, will ya?

- Ah, Sarah, you sexy little ferret.
- Prick!

Barry, I want that 20 tonight,
or I will have your ball sack.

- Daniel, man.
- What's the cr*ck, fellas?

- Not bad.
- All right.

- For you.
- For you.

Thank you.

Nice.

- For the fallen.
- We will remember them.

I gotta talk to her.

What are you gonna say
to Pixie Hardy

that you haven't managed to
say up to this point in time?

I don't know.
Something charming.

I swear, she always
gives me the eyes.

She doesn't remember
your name, man.

Ah, f*ck it, I'll tell you something.
Come with me.

Three in the bed,
and the little one said...

"Let's do
some f*cking dr*gs."

Now, I'd like to preface this
by saying I don't support

either of youse acting upon
what I'm about to tell you.

- Rumours are going round...
- Oh, yeah. Go on.

She's gotten into
taking photos.

Apparently,
Pixie is preparing her application

to the San Francisco
Institute of Art

and wants to be like
this Nan Goldin lady.

I don't know. Anyway,

her photos have taken
a turn for the experimental.

What do you mean,
"experimental"?

I've heard she likes to take photos
of herself having sex with men.

What are you saying?

I'm saying that
either of you twos

can potentially
go home with her tonight

as long as you don't mind your
hairy arses being on film.

However,
I'd like to remind you

who it is
we're talking about here.

This is Pixie Hardy.
She won't just break you.

She'll take a Kalashnikov
to your heart.

You sure
this is her house?

I'm sure.

How are we even
gonna do this?

Hmm.

How about
I go in first,

and you wait here
till I'm finished,

then you go in after
and I'll wait?

Piss off. Why isn't
there an option

where I go in and you wait,
and then you go in after?

- 'Cause I'm the oldest.
- Because you were born in April

and I was born in June,
I have to go in second?

Just put the radio on.
I might be a while.

Frank.

That's not fair.

This is gonna be
a laugh.

Now, now. Frank McCullen.

It's very late to be knocking on
young ladies' doors, isn't it?

Little lost, are we?

No. See, uh, recently,

I've been getting into
taking photos.

Photos?

I was just wondering if you happened
to know any good photo shops nearby.

You came to my house
at 2:00 in the morning

to see if there was a camera
shop in the neighbourhood?

I was told you were the
person I should be talking to.

People in this town
need to learn

that other people's business
really isn't their business.

Sorry.

So, can I come in?

I didn't slam the door
in your face, did I?

- Come on, then, Richard Avedon.
- Richard who?

Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
Are you...?

Oh, for God's sake.
What a jammy bastard.

You believe in God,
don't you, Tommy?

Well, there's part of me
wants to believe in it.

For the wife and the children.
Know what I mean, sir?

But I work for you,
boss.

I've no right to judge.
You've been very good to me, you know?

But some of the things
we've done...

I don't mean any offence,
you know.

What about reincarnation?
What do you think of all that?

That's a lovely concept,
that, sir.

Unless you come back
as a f*cking ant.

So, what's the plan?

I don't know.

- Tommy?
- Yes, boss.

Clear this up.

Get rid of the body
and the vehicle.

The last thing we need is the
Guards breathing down our necks.

Yes, boss.

- So we just do nothing?
- We wait.

Trouble will find us.
It always does.

And when it does,
we'll be ready.

Boss, you might wanna
have a look at this.

Tommy?

Yes, boss.

Find the f*cking panda.

Pixie?

f*ck, f*ck, f*ck!

Pixie!

f*ck.

I'm not joking around, Pix.

I'll knock this f*cking
door down if I have to!

Relax your jaw.

You'd better not have
someone else up there!

We had a connection!

I know you're in there.

- That's it.
- Oh, sh*t.

I'm coming in! I'll sh**t
your f*cking door in.

I know what you f*cking did!

Oh, sh*t!

f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.

Sir?

Sir, are you okay?

Now, if I want
to reach you,

do you have a number
I can call, or...

My phone's broken.

Okay, well,
why don't I give you mine?

Do you have a pen?

Go for it.

I tell you what.
Why don't I leave you my address too?

You know, just in case you're in the
neighbourhood, you wanna stop by.

I mean,
I'm always there.

Not that I don't do anything, like.
You know, I'm quite important.

Well, I will be.

I've got plans.
Ambitions, like.

I'm gonna go,
but you know where to find me.

I do.

Okay, ask me
a capital city.

What?

Name any country,
and I'll tell you the capital.

Albania.

Tirana.

That's very impressive.

Okay.

Frank.

You've got a little...

There.

Oh, Frank. Thank God.

What have you been doing?

We've got a problem.

What?
What sort of problem?

I'm gonna show you something, but you
promise me you're not gonna scream,

you're not gonna make
a f*cking scene, all right?

- We're deep... We're deep in the f*cking sh*t...
- Would you stop?

You're freaking me out. What?

Come with me.

- Jesus!
- Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Who the f*ck is that?
Is he dead?

No, he's having a f*cking nap!
Yes, he's dead!

- Harland, what's in the bag?
- I didn't look.

What do you mean,
you didn't look?

f*ck me!

Come on, let's get
the hell out of here.

This was self-defence,
like.

Doesn't look that way,
though, does it?

The guy had a g*n.
He was gonna k*ll you.

All I'm saying is,
you put him in the boot of the car.

- Only murderers put people in the boots of their cars.
- But I didn't know what to do.

We just gotta, you know,
think through the options.

Think through... What options?
We have to go to the police.

Do we?

From your point of view,
like, best-case scenario,

you gotta be thinking three
years for manslaughter?

- I mean, think of your little arsehole, man.
- What? Wait, what?

Your teeny tiny
little arsehole.

This, and prison.

- What are you doing?
- You'll be able to sh*t out a watermelon by the end of it.

This is our chance, man.

Right here, right now.

Let's get the hell out.

Okay, okay, okay.

Surely there's someone we can talk
to, someone we can trust,

with a bit of experience
of this sort of thing.

f*ck. That's brilliant.
I've got the perfect person.

- Who?
- Daniel.

Oh, piss off.

Daniel's the reason we're in this
situation in the first place.

Listen,
he's a drug dealer.

And what do all small-time
drug dealers have in common?

Lack of a proper
role model.

What? Suppliers.
They all have suppliers.

We get Daniel to put us in
touch with his supplier,

we sell him the gear,
and we're home free.

And most importantly,
we're filthy, filthy rich.

I don't know, man.

It feels like we're entering into murky
waters here. Do you know what I mean?

There's a dead fella
in the boot of your car.

I think we're a bit past
murky waters, man.

- Ah! Pix, how are you?
- Da.

- How are ya?
- Come in, come in.

You feel trim.

Just feeling a
bit soft around the edges.

- Don't be silly.
- Oh, thank you very much.

- Hey, Sis.
- Hello, Summer.

- Mwah! Mm, last night's takings?
- Mm-hmm.

Da! Looks delicious.

Thank you.

Let's have a go.

- Do you like it?
- Mm.

- It's your mother's recipe.
- Yeah, I can tell.

- I made it from scratch.
- Yeah, it's good.

Maybe it needs
something, uh...

Have you been to see her
recently?

It'll be four years
next month.

- Feels like ten.
- Yeah.

What have I told you about that
disgusting habit in the home?

Mm, mm.

If you want to smoke,
do it properly.

It's embarrassing.

What did I do
to deserve you?

What did I do to deserve
you, more like?

I mean, all I seem to have gotten
from you is this double chin.

Oh, it's just your puppy fat.
It'll go.

Puppy fat? I heard that
little sh*t Finian Keane

calling me "gobbler,"
as in the turkey,

behind my back to a group
of lads the other week.

Had to knock
his two front teeth out.

- Isn't Finian your friend?
- I mean, "gobbler"...

It's highly offensive.

- How are you, Mick?
- Hungry.

What are you lot
smiling about?

Summer was telling us
a story from school.

Ah, was it the one about the time
she got her period in swimming class,

and all the lads started
humming the Jaws theme tune?

Let's eat.

Have you told her yet?

- Told me what?
- Colin's missing.

There was a car accident.
We have our best men on it.

Okay.

You could act a little
more f*cking upset, like.

Piss off, Mick.
You're being a dickhead.

- Hey!
- Mickey!

No, I'm just saying.
We're sat here telling her

that her boyfriend's probably bled
out in a ditch in God knows where...

Ex-boyfriend.

- Who else was in the car?
- Fergus.

He got one in the head.

Fergus was sh*t?

Straight through the temple.

Just need a tinkle.

You apologise
to your sister.

Step-sister.

Stop acting the prick!

Now, you go and apologise to her.
I mean it, Mick!

And you clip Summer round
the head again like that,

you'll have more than a
talking-to, rest assured.

You know, I heard the most
f*cked thing in school yesterday.

- Language, Summer.
- Sorry. But you'll love this, right?

So, apparently, bubble gum doesn't dissolve
in your stomach for at least seven years.

Got me thinking, you could whack
someone by force-feeding them it

until their stomach
explodes.

I mean, imagine that.
Death by bubble gum.

I mean,
it's pretty cool.

Do you think Lucy O'Malley would've
still ditched you at the debs

if she'd known you'd turn out
to be a cold-blooded k*ller?

Stop, will you?
This isn't funny.

Just saying. She's still cute, you know.
You should give her a call.

Have you thought about
what we're gonna do with the body?

You're the one
who went to university.

- We'll work it out. It'll be a doddle.
- Oh, a doddle.

Funnily enough,
disposing of bodies

was not part of my f*cking
sociology degree.

Daniel, man.

All right, lads.
Didn't expect to see youse here.

- How are we feeling?
- A little ropey, to be honest.

Ah. I've got just the thing
for you somewhere here.

Try this.

Thanks.

- Suit yourself.
- God, it smells good. What is it?

Ladies' moisturiser.
Créme de la Mer, it's called.

It actually does make
such a difference.

Yeah, I bet.
Feels lovely.

Yeah.

Are you gonna ask?

We need to meet
your supplier.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.

Easy there, fellas.

I mean, yeah, we're friends and
all, but this, this is my town.

We're selling bulk.
One deal.

It's way too big
for you, trust me.

Oh, sorry, Mr Pablo Escobar!
Welcome to Sligo!

Let's see it, then.

Too big for me, is it?

Jesus.

There's 15 kilos there.

Right. Let's cut out the middle man,
lads, and I'll give you 400 for it.

Are you taking the piss?

Eight hundred, okay?
I'm not very liquid at the moment, lads.

I'll give you 800
in instalments.

Now, that's the final offer
there, okay?

Stop being a dickhead.

This right here has a street value
of just under one million Euro.

- Who told you that?
- I googled it.

Oh, did you?
Do you like computers?

Please, Daniel.
Do us a solid.

Well, what if I don't
wanna give it to you, huh?

I'll tell big Oisin Fogarty

you've been having his underage
sister at your parties,

plying her with dodgy
methamphetamines and broken promises.

You wouldn't want that,
now, would you?

It's my uncle Raymond.

Your uncle
is your supplier?

- Have you got a problem with that, smart-arse?
- No. No, I don't.

It's a dangerous path
you're taking here, boys.

I'm not gonna lie to you.

I mean, you're talking about
some real players here.

Real players.

I mean, one minute
you're laughing, smiling,

all easy-breezy, like,
then bang!

You've got a Glock
between your eyes,

and you're begging
for your mother's life.

Begging.

You're a star.

Where will
we find him?

Donnelly's.
It's down in Dingle on the water.

Google it.

Thanks.

You in on this?

- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Don't play dumb with me.

You and Colin cooked
something up, eh?

I told you,
we broke up months ago.

You may be able to pull the wool
over his eyes, but I see you.

You see me.
You see right through me.

You're f*cked in the head,
just like your ma was,

and you'll be with her sooner than
you'd planned if this comes back to you.

I told you, I don't know
what you're talking about.

Why have you always
had it in for me?

'Cause you're a liar.

You've always wanted
to turn Da on me.

Now you see your chance,
don't you,

to pin this on me?

Could be the two of youse
in perfect harmony.

No wonder you can't get
a girlfriend.

Shut up.

You like that,
don't you?

Ah, you're a sick, sick
boy, Mickey O'Brien.

Leave off.

Ah, come on, Mickey.
You know you want to.

Did you apologise?

Can we eat?

Wait
for your sister.

- You all right?
- Yeah.

Mmm. Mmm.

- It's got a kick.
- What?

Your hollandaise.
It has a kick to it.

Mam would have
loved it.

You know,
it's easy, really.

- You got anyone coming over?
- No. You?

Let's get this...
Let's get this away.

Who's gonna open it?

Well,
you're older, so...

Hey!

Hey to you too.
Gonna let me in?

Sorry. Of course.
After you.

Pixie, this is
my best mate, Harland.

You probably haven't
noticed him round.

I know you, Harland McKenna.
You well?

Yeah, not bad.

- These your digs?
- Temporarily, yeah.

- Temporarily?
- Well, to be honest,

I've been looking at a few potential
property deals that would be,

you know, significantly larger than this,
but with the markets in this state...

I'm guessing you fellas aren't
used to being in the hot water

you find yourselves in
currently, is that correct?

Excuse me?

I'm also guessing
it's under the bed.

- I'm gonna take a look.
- I don't... We don't...

I don't know
what we're talking about.

There's no hot water
under the bed.

Harland, I'm gonna take
a look now, okay?

Okay.

Really?

- Where's the money?
- Money?

- Frank.
- That was the only bag.

The only thing
I can't put my finger on

is where's the body?

- Body?
- Frank?

- It's in the boot of the car.
- Frank, man.

The way I see it,
you got two options.

One: k*ll me,

which wouldn't be very smart, since I'm
your only sh*t of getting out of this mess.

Or two: You confirm
my suspicions

that the fella you ran into
was coming to k*ll me,

in which case,
you saved my life.

If the second is true,
then thank you,

and we should consider joining
forces to get the hell out of here

and sell those dr*gs before
Step-daddy comes a-knocking.

Step-daddy?

Well, he's really my dad,
for all intents and purposes.

My biological one ran off
with a Chinese keyboardist

called Lao Ming
when I was a baby.

Worst thing being, my mam was the lead
singer of the band they were all in.

Hippies use the term
"free love."

However, Mam soon found this to be more of a
catchy slogan than a practical lifestyle choice.

Anyway, he, Dermot,
the step-daddy, that is,

took me and Mam in
when I was eight.

They fell madly in love.

Sweet, really.

But that's not to say it's
all been sunshine and roses.

He is a gangster, after all,
with a penchant for v*olence.

And he has a son
from a previous marriage

who may actually turn out to be
the devil incarnate.

Look, it's a lot to take in,
I know.

But I figure you've got a
corpse in the back of your car,

and you're looking to skip town
quick, am I right?

"Penchant."

That's not what
it means, Frank.

And you're right.

Well, that settles it, then.

Let's hit the road, boys.

I should probably let you know up
front that I'm partial to an adventure.

So let me get this straight:
Your stepfather is a gangster.

He's also a patron of the arts.
He likes opera.

What? Just 'cause you k*ll people
occasionally, you can't like a bit of Wagner?

- I love Wagner.
- Shut the f*ck up, Frank.

He grew up running g*ns
for the IRA.

- Heavy.
- Yeah.

His old partner in crime was a
fella called Father Hector McGrath.

A priest? Honestly?

That bag of goodies came into
this fair isle through McGrath.

You see, the guards will never
search a priest, now, will they?

- Come again?
- They can get away with m*rder.

Literally.
Or, for example,

institutional paedophilia
for a couple of thousand years.

- So they still work together?
- No.

No, their split-up was
somewhat acrimonious.

They vowed if one was to cross the
other again, there'd be all-out w*r.

So you're saying it's
priests that are after us?

Deadly gangster priests,
yeah.

Although I claim my Italian roast
chicken is cooked with vegetables,

strictly speaking,
these peppers are a fruit.

I use red peppers for this,
orange,

I use yellow,
or a mixture of all three.

However.
I will excommunicate anyone

who even thinks
of using a green pepper.

And this is not
rank colour prejudice.

This is because a green pepper
is simply an unripe pepper.

Da, you have to see this.

No, Mickey,
don't do...

The four priests were found dead
this morning by widower Maeve Smith.

Here she is
with Father Hector McGrath.

I went into the room,

and it was all blood
and bodies everywhere.

I only went in
to light a candle for Paulie.

And then this.
I mean, I couldn't believe it.

This is supposed to be
a place of worship.

This is a sad day in the
history of our country

and a sad day
for the Church.

I want to reassure
the people watching

that senseless acts
of v*olence like this

will not go unnoticed
by our Father,

and that the Lord
will have his vengeance.

We need to hit them now.

- Mickey, it's not...
- It's not what, Da?

There's a w*r coming,
and you know it, and I know it,

and if we don't act
right this instant,

they're gonna torch us
in our f*cking sleep.

We don't know that Colin and
Fergus were responsible for this,

so neither do they.

It doesn't matter
who's responsible.

Father McGrath has got one name
in his head, and that's yours.

We'll call Seamus.

Seamus?

Like, uh,

Seamus, Seamus?

The Seamus?

Just to investigate.

Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, now we're cooking.

And there was me thinking
that you'd lost it.

Stop!

Stop! Help!

What's that?
Are you ready to talk?

Ooh, baby. Ooh!

Stop! Stop!

You need to talk
a little bit louder, fella.

I can't f*cking hear ya!

Stop! Stop!

Stop!
I'll tell you anything!

- It's at my brother Pete's house.
- Is it, now?

It's all there, I swear.
It's all there.

You see? You feel better
already. huh?

The truth
always feels better.

- I'm still going to have to k*ll you, though.
- No, please! No, no!

Please, I've got a family, kids.

- Please, no.
- For f*ck's sake.

No, please,
think of my family.

- Please. Please!
- Hello?

- Seamus.
- Shut up, will you? I'm on the phone.

- Seamus.
- Ah. Mr O'Brien.

To what do I owe
the pleasure?

- You heard the news?
- The priests?

Jesus. That's a shocking
state of affairs altogether.

Quite, yeah. Listen,
we picked up Fergus.

He'd been sh*t a couple
of miles down the road.

But we need you to find
Colin before they do.

- Any leads?
- Ah, we're struggling a bit.

Follow Pixie.

Sorry?

Ignore that.
Mickey, enough.

- I'm just saying, if you follow her, you'll find him.
- Mick...

Listen,
she's up to no good.

I swear to God, Mick,
if you don't stop interfering...

- I can't... You're all talking over one another.
- Da, Da, Da...

- I can't make head nor...
- She's literally with him right now.

- Lookit.
- Da...

I have to go here.

I'll find Colin,
with or without Pixie.

I'll let you know
when I have something.

What a f*cking day.

Got a girlfriend
at the moment, Harland?

- It's, uh, complicated.
- Complicated?

Sinead hasn't texted you
in a month, man.

Her uncle's poorly.

Look, at school,
I'll admit,

Frank did a little better
than me with the ladies.

See, Harland was good,
right?

The kind of guy
you take home to your gran.

He lacked a little
k*ller instinct.

- Look, will you just let me finish?
- Here we go.

I've actually had a proper
girlfriend on two occasions.

You always go on
about that.

Just because my taste
is a little bit more exotic.

Exotic? Yeah?

Yeah, you know,
white sand beach,

olive skin,
piña colada in hand.

Sean Paul over here.

Frank, if you were so
keen on getting out,

why are you still living in the
caravan park your father owns?

He gets 500 yards away from his
pops, and he cacks it.

That's obviously a lie.

I've actually spent some time
in Dublin, so...

To look at
universities.

Look, Harland has many
fantastic qualities.

I mean, he's loyal,
he's dependable.

- Suspiciously close to his mother.
- What?

He's my best mate.
But you and I,

we see things
a little differently.

We get it.

- Oh, we get it?
- Yeah.

Do we?

Ah, I love this song.
My mam used to sing it.

I have a recording
of it at home.

- Was she good, your ma?
- Yeah.

Well, the Wexford Bugle
once described her as having

"the voice with the husk
of Kim Carnes

and the tenderness
of summer rain," so...

- What was it like?
- What?

You know, last night.

Two 99s
and one of those, please.

Oh, that.

It was, you know,
pretty mental.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

sh*t.

Was she your sensei?

What the f*ck's
a sensei?

It's a martial art term.
A master. A teacher, like.

- I can handle myself, thank you very much.
- Oh, don't be so defensive.

All men need a sensei at one
point or another, you know.

- Show them the tricks of the trade.
- Well, who was yours?

Well, I haven't
met mine yet.

Oh, that's a shame.
You weirdo.

Apparently women have 8,000 sensitive
nerve endings in their clitoris.

- Could that be true?
- What are you lads talking about?

Nothing. Uh, sheep.

Sheep?

Yeah, Harland used to go
to the sheep trials

with your dad,
didn't you?

Yeah, Dad, um,
he loved sheep.

"They're gorgeous creatures,"
he'd say.

Hmm.

It's true, you know.

It's round about
the 8,000 mark.

Here's your Solero.

- Here.
- Thanks.

Does he always take life
so seriously?

Tends to. I do my best
to lighten him up a bit.

I'm not saying it
in a bad way.

I think it's quite
endearing.

- Endearing?
- Yeah, there's something sweet about him.

You guys want anything
from the shop?

You want some company?

Sure.

Sweet?

- Beautiful day, isn't it?
- Sure is.

- Do you mind if I...
- Yes.

Thanks.

- Are you with your dad?
- Uh, no, I'm waiting for my priest.

Father O'Shaughnessy.

Oh, right.

- There's no funny business going on?
- I'm sorry?

You can tell me
if there's any funny business.

Oh. No.
He's... He's a good man.

Wouldn't you rather be out with your
mates, playing football and chasing girls?

- It's a Saturday, you know.
- I'm married to the Lord.

He gives me
everything I need.

Everything?

Well, and tell me if I'm
overstepping the mark here,

but... don't you wanna know
what it's like?

Oh... Oh... "It."

Uh...

I watch videos, so...

Sorry.

Huh?

Huh? Eh?

- How are we getting on over there?
- Just looking.

Can I help you with anything
there, sweetheart?

You're so nice.

I want some tequila,
but I can't seem to find the one I like.

Oh, yeah? And, uh,
which one would that be, now?

All I can see here is aٌejo,
and I usually drink reposado.

Reposado.

Did you know that
it wasn't until the Spanish

invaded the Aztecs in the 16th century
that tequila was actually invented?

I didn't know that, no.

Well, you see,
the Spanish loved their brandy.

But their supplies
began to run low,

forcing the tired and parched
soldiers to improvise.

They started by distilling
mud and agave,

which, although basic,

was how tequila
was initially invented.

You've got brains too.

Do you know what they also invented
during the Spanish invasion?

Huh?

- The 69.
- Oh, Jesus.

I, um...

I thought
that was the French.

Maybe I'm wrong.

Anyway, we'd best be
out of your hair.

I can make an exception
for you, darlin'.

I can look
in the back.

- Can you keep the till hot for me?
- Don't you worry about that.

You slimy old nut bag.

Is this
really necessary?

- What the hell are you doing?
- Where's your sense of fun? Quick, grab the tequila.

No, no, no! I'm not taking
any part in this.

- Suit yourself.
- Pixie!

Come on.

Frank!
We gotta be moving!

- Now!
- Just a second.

I'll leave you with this.

If God didn't want
you and I eating p*ssy,

why did he go and make them
look like a taco?

- Quickly, Frank. Jesus.
- I'm coming!

Hey!

Come back!

What the hell's going on?
Where'd you get that money?

Where do you think?
This nut job robbed the place.

It just dawned on me that I was the
only one not doing anything illegal,

meaning I was just
sort of on the run.

I wanted to be really
part of it, you know.

That cannot honestly
be your logic.

And I wanted to stay
in a fancy hotel,

have a steak dinner and drink
tequila, that too.

- Aren't we about to make a ton of money?
- I like to pay my own way.

You're just a little
round the bend, aren't you?

I'd like to remind the two of youse
that this isn't a bloody holiday.

I don't know about you,
but selling a boatload of MDMA

to a gangster in Dingle,
with a rotting corpse in the boot,

isn't exactly Paris
in the f*cking rain.

Listen here,
old buddy, old pal.

I've been telling you for years
I'm a wild man, all right?

I can't be caged.

The sooner you get your head
round to that fact, the better.

I tell you what.
There's no two people I'd rather be with,

travelling down the coast with a
boatload of MDMA and a rotting corpse,

than the two of youse.

Beautifully put,
Frank.

I give up.

So what's the game plan?

It's Daniel's uncle.
We don't need no game plan.

Yeah, wait. Why?
Do we need a game plan?

These things have a tendency not
to be the most straightforward.

I thought we were
thinking of this

as a friend of the family
sort of thing, right?

Exactly. He's just
a friend of the family

who's gonna help us
out of our situation.

Don't be giving us
the bad vibes.

We drop Daniel's name.
He'll probably be expecting us.

We'll just be honest.
All we're looking for is a fair deal.

We're not gonna hold anyone
to ransom. It's a win-win.

See? Everybody's
a bloody winner.

Jesus Christ.

Uh, we're looking
for Mr Raymond Donnelly.

I know. And the ducks,
they're so beautiful.

Yeah, I know
what they're like.

Yeah, I know.

I know. And then it comes
from underneath.

They had to pull them out
with motorcycle chains.

Hang on, Jim. I got Harry,
Ron and Hermione looking at me.

I'll have to call you back.
Bye-bye. Who the f*ck are you?

Daniel sent us.
Your nephew. We're mates.

Oh. So, this is nice.

We've got a business
proposition for you.

It's more of an opportunity.
A business opportunity.

Marilou, some refreshment, maybe,
for our young entrepreneurs.

Almond milk latte
would be grand.

Oh, you got a sense of humour.
I like that.

The fish out there, is that to,
you know, to conceal the smell?

You should be on quiz shows
or something.

So we got the comedian and the genius.
What do you bring to the table?

Energy
and a positive attitude.

Ah, lovely.
What the f*ck do you want?

We, uh, need
your help with...

Not your help so much
as we'd like to help you.

Us helping you help us.

Before nightfall, lads.

We've got enough MDMA
to break the jaw

of any fella who comes through
this town for the next 30 years.

Okay. Let's see it.

Marilou?

Mm.

That's 15 kilos there.

Is that all of it? I mean,
is there more in the car?

- Is there any stashed somewhere?
- Nope. That's all of it.

Not even a dab's worth
left for later.

And, um,

what are you, uh,
carrying, lads?

Carrying?

No. Uh, we wanted to be straight with
you, Mr Donnelly.

No... No funny business.

- You're Daniel's uncle, after all.
- Yeah.

Okay, so to be totally clear,
you've come in with the bag of dr*gs,

and you guys just want
80 or 100 grand...

It actually has a street
value of nearly a million.

Oh, does it?
Does it?

I wonder what the street value
of your head in a bag

with your d*ck
in your mouth would be.

I'd say about ninepence.

I'm a drug dealer.
I don't do handouts, okay?

Especially not to three
kids who look like

they've just walked in
off an afternoon special.

- But that's not fair.
- Did that not sound kind of stupid in your head?

It does coming out of your mouth.
Marilou, show them.

Welcome to unfair.

Let's be moving.

- f*ck!
- Harland, do something!

- Madam, put the g*n down, please.
- Harland!

I'm so sorry.

- f*ck!
- Ow!

- Oh, my wrist!
- I'll drive.

Come on!

Keys, keys!

Well, Jesus,
that went well.

Don't even start. Daniel it
was your idea. I told you this was crazy.

That was a collective decision.
Don't you be blaming me, Harland.

So,
what do we do now?

I don't know.
Here, pass me the tequila.

I say we get pissed,
you know?

Really f*cking pissed, and then
just, you know, hope for the best.

Good plan.

Mm. Real cr*ck team
we've got here.

You are never
driving my car again.

Ah, just pass me
the tequila.

So this all
comes back to you?

Is that why that fella
was knocking on your door?

It's complicated.

You see, I had hatched a plan with
the aid of this other fella, Fergus.

I got Fergus to dupe Colin,

the man currently disintegrating
in the back of your Mercedes there,

into intercepting one
of McGrath's drug deals.

Then Fergus was to dispose of Colin
and come meet me at the airport.

You're like an evil
mastermind.

I've got complex
family issues.

So this Fergus fella,
you didn't love him, then?

Well, truth is,

I feel terrible saying it,
but what Fergus didn't know

was that I planned to take
that flight to San Francisco

with the money
but without him.

Jesus.

A little cold,
don't you think?

Don't be going all soft.

I take it you're not
the romantic type, then.

Yeah. Once.

He was called Gareth.
Shy boy.

- He from Sligo?
- Castlebar.

Uh, he's...
He's McGrath's nephew, actually.

You fell in love with the deadly
gangster priest's nephew?

I know, I know.

It was all very
Romeo and Juliet.

What happened?

McGrath told him
he could no longer see me,

and he listened to his head
instead of his heart.

He was lovely but weak.

I... am gonna go
for a swim.

- Excellent idea.
- Oh, you must be mad. It'll be freezing.

All that
gangster talk,

and you're afraid
of a bit of cold water.

Oh, you think I'm gonna give in
to a bit of schoolboy teasing?

Suit yourself.

All right, you morons,
wait up.

Well, come on, then.
I'm already freezing my nuts off.

She best not see our little
fellas when we get out.

Come on!

I've got a question.

You have
endless questions.

- Why did you sleep with him?
- Oi!

Have you been telling
little white lies, Frankie?

Honestly,
I didn't say that.

Sounds to me like you did.

Showing off, was he?
Playing Little Billy Big Bollocks?

It wasn't like that.
I was just, you know...

Shut up. Both of you,
sit on that bed.

Go on.

I wanna show you
something.

- Thanks.
- What?

First off, it's neither of yours business
who I choose to sleep with, okay?

- I didn't mean it like that.
- Yes, you did. And Frank...

I'm sorry. It was stupid.

Freud would have a field day
with the two of you.

What?

See?

The two of youse
are made for each other.

Sorry I'm late. Had to run a
couple of errands on the way.

Seamus, you saved me!

Don't f*cking move.

On the floor.

The lot of you!

- Look, we haven't done anything.
- Shut up, you.

Here, Pix.

Put them on.

Put 'em on!

Where's Colin?

I don't know
what you're talking about.

Pix, now, don't be messing me about.
Where the f*ck is Colin?

I promise. We broke up months ago.
Did Mick send you?

Aye. Right.

Up. We're going
for a drive.

Come on!

Do you want me to send you
a f*cking telegram?

Let's go!

Do you have to, you know,
press it so hard against him?

Eyes forward, now,
like a good boy.

All I'm saying is,
your g*n could be a couple of inches away.

Okay.

Look, if you just
please listen!

We didn't
mean to get involved.

Since you're friends
of Pixie,

I'm affording you a quick
death and a proper burial.

Don't push your luck,

'cause believe you me,
you don't want things to turn unpleasant.

f*cking idiot.

We've got to tell him.

Just keep quiet.

Oh, we're digging our own
graves, for f*ck's sake.

Time isn't exactly
on our side.

She's got a plan.
I know it.

What, and you think
it involves us?

- We lied to you.
- Harland!

No, f*ck it, Frank.
This has gone on way too far.

Sir, he's in the boot
of the car.

- I'm sorry?
- He's in the boot.

- In the boot?
- He's in the boot of the car.

- In the boot of this car here?
- Yes, he's in the boot of that f*cking car.

- Oh, that's a good one.
- We're not pros, man.

We didn't know
what the f*ck we were doing.

He's in the boot
of the f*cking car.

Oh, that's good!
That's a good one.

I'm still gonna
have to k*ll youse.

f*ck!
You f*cking bastard!

You f*cking bastard.

You didn't take
his g*n?

I thought he was dead.
What was I supposed to do with it?

Quick, uncuff me.

Youse two finish the marvellous job
you were doing digging those graves.

- But they're not dead.
- We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, shall we?

In your own time.

Aren't you happy
to see me?

What was that,
angel?

- Whore.
- Ah, that's sweet.

Went and messed everything
up, didn't you?

I was gonna start a new life
for myself in San Francisco

until you had to go and get
all jealous over poor Fergus.

Not in the mood
for chatting?

Okay, well,

I'm gonna tell you
a little bedtime story.

How would you like that?

I'm gonna take you back
four years.

It was a cold October day
in our little home town.

It was the 18th,
to be precise.

The 18th of October.
A day I won't easily forget.

I'm going to visit my mam,
who had stage-four cancer of the throat.

But I had just been told the
good news that the chemicals

they had been pumping into
her body were taking hold.

It looked like she was going to b*at
it, and I have to tell you,

I was feeling
positively hopeful.

Hey.

So you can imagine my shock when I see
a strange figure appear from her room.

Hey!

Hey!

The first thing you hear
is the sound.

Mam!

Mam!

I know she'd have
fought like hell.

Help! Help!

But she was weak.

She's not breathing.

No one believed me
that she'd been suffocated.

They thought
she'd just given up.

But I had the good sense to
go back to the visitors' book.

That name,
Jeremy Fisher,

haunted me for three years.

Want to know
how you gave it away?

We were lying in bed,
having just watched a movie.

I'm gonna tinkle.

Back in a sec.

If only you'd replaced the loo
roll, you would've got away with it.

So I knew.

Still, I decided just to
run away from all of it.

But you had to
ruin that too.

One question:

Why?

He p... He paid me.

Who?

You know who.

I loved you.

Oh, baby. Oh, baby.

And I almost
loved you too.

I think this one's gone.

Let's just bury
the both of them.

What about him?
He's still breathing.

Now let's get these fellas
in the ground sharpish.

My instincts
are telling me

we'd better be getting
our skedaddle on.

Chip-chop.

Where are you going now?

I don't like burials much.
I'll be back in two.

- You got him?
- Yeah.

- sh*t.
- Oh, there's blood all over my T-shirt now.

Oh, Jesus.

Jesus.
I don't like blood.

Hey, it's me.

Come on.

Let's get going.

Where to?

There's this church down near Clonakilty.
Apparently, it's beautiful.

Shouldn't we be getting
the hell out of here?

First off, I think we should all keep
in mind that these sorts of adventures

are always more enjoyable
with a positive attitude.

And secondly,
we need to make some money

and get out of this mess
so we can all run off

and play happy families
wherever the wind shall take us.

My gust obviously being
toward Sam Clam's Disco.

San Francisco.

Tell me if I'm jumping
hurdles here,

but is your plan to try
and sell the dr*gs

back to the gangsters who are
missing them in the first place?

- You're catching on.
- Are you out of your bloody mind?

It's the only way to make a clean
break from all this malarkey, trust me.

She's got a point,
you know.

I don't wanna spend the rest of
my life looking over my shoulder

every time I see a priest.

You know,
I was just thinking.

You fellas were very nearly
each other's last kiss.

Would've been sort of
romantic, don't you think?

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven.

All good children
go to heaven.

- Amen.
- Gareth.

Let us pray.

Dear Lord,
please watch over our souls

as we avenge the loss
of our fallen brothers.

- And especially today...
- Thank you, Gareth.

- Amen.
- Amen.

Brevity is the elixir
of life, young man.

Right. Sister Geraghty,
Father Armstrong,

you come with me.

The rest of you form a
perimeter round the church.

No one gets out
before we do.

We know not what
the day brings forth,

so may the Lord have mercy
on our souls.

Amen.

Gareth, you'll keep watch.

No, but, Uncle, you said
this morning that...

Thank you, Gareth.

Thank you, Gareth.

These g*ns aren't
gonna sh**t themselves.

Well, well, well.

Playing little games,
are we, now?

This is all
very charming.

A little game
never hurt no one, Father.

Oh, I'll play
your game, child.

Place the cash
on the altar.

I prefer to do my business
face to face,

with the Lord
as my witness.

That may be, but I'm the one
offering the deal, aren't I?

I'll have to call in
one of my men.

You do you, babe.

Bring in the money.

Bit of a cakewalk,
all this gangster stuff.

The Lord sees all evil.

Show yourselves now!

Or in the name of the
Father, we'll sniff you out

and bleed you slow.

Come out!

You f*cking cowards!

Spread out!

Are you sure
you know what you're doing?

Ye of little faith.
The cavalry is on its way.

The O'Briens.
It's the f*cking O'Briens!

Well, aren't you
quite the troublemaker?

Why, thank you, Father.

Coming from you,
that's a real compliment.

Saddle up, boys.
We've got company.

Aren't you a bit old
to be playing dress-up?

What in God's name
are you doing here?

I'd be asking you
the same question.

A young woman called me.

That little bitch!

I ought to put a b*llet
between your eyes!

Come on, Pix!
Your game is up!

Mickey!

Your daughter, I presume.

- Yeah.
- Oh!

You must have your hands full
with those two.

She is quite something.

Yeah, that she is.

Are we really
gonna do this?

Break the peace
after all these years?

I don't know.

Part of me thinks we just walk out
of here with the money and the dr*gs,

and you'll exterminate
yourselves

back up in that sh*t-box town
you call home anyway.

On the other hand, as we are in the
presence of our Lord and saviour,

it might be fitting to just
gut you all here and now.

Pixie,
any time is good for me.

Sorry.
You can't go in there.

Why not?

Well, if you listen closely,
there's a sh**t-out going on.

Ah. Right.

Why are you out here, then?

Can't participate in sh**t-outs until
you've completed your junior cert.

Makes sense.

- Smoke?
- Yeah.

Time to slip away.

You ready to join
your mother?

- Pixie!
- Gareth!

Oh, no, no, no. No, no.
Don't do anything stupid, now.

- We're family.
- You hated her that much?

- I don't know what you're talking about.
- I know you did it.

I know you got Colin
to do it. Why?

You took my father
away from me.

You ruined him.
You made him weak.

The two of youse, with your
whoring, manipulative ways.

No. Please.

Please don't. Please.

Oh, you're not worth
the b*ll*ts.

Well, maybe one.

Pixie.

Pixie.

What's your
favourite prayer?

f*ck, Da. Da.
Boys, help.

Jesus. Sorry, Da.

Careful. Careful.

Let's have a look.

- It's just a flesh wound.
- Yeah?

- It'll be fine.
- Yeah?

You did good.

- Me mam would be proud of you.
- You think?

Well, it's fair to say you bailed
me out of a pretty sticky situation.

You're your mother's
daughter, all right.

I love you, Da.

Da, are you okay?

I'll be okay.
I'll be fine, I'll be fine.

Now, listen, you.
You get out of here.

You look after yourself.
Stay away from silly boys.

Pix, we gotta go.

- Summer, don't be poking at it.
- Sorry, sorry, sorry.

- Jesus. Don't...
- Sorry.

Come on.

- I won't be a second.
- Harland!

You f*cking madman!

- Yes!
- Jesus, Harland!

Maybe I'm
a little wild too.

Come on, let's go.

Ooh-hoo!

Absolute cakewalk.
What did I tell you?

This is the final
call for Flight 162 to San Francisco.

Final call for Flight 162
to San Francisco.

So, this is it, boys.

Come on. Come here.

Safe flight.

My mam gave me this quote
when she was really sick, like.

She said,
"Whatever you choose,

however many roads
you travel,

I hope that you choose
not to be a lady.

I hope that you find some way
to break the rules

and make a little
trouble out there.

And I also hope that you choose to make
some of that trouble on behalf of women."

I think we can safely say
that you, Pixie Hardy,

have caused enough trouble
for a thousand women.

I was hoping for a million.

Trouble.
Serious trouble.

- So where you wanna go?
- I don't know.

Somewhere exotic.

I was thinking about uni, like.
Maybe get my degree.

Back home?

Dublin? London?

Right. Okay.

Shall we take
one more look at it?

Yeah.

- What? Where's the money?
- You've gotta be kidding me.

Pixie! Pixie?

Pixie?

Are you serious?

Pixie!