Gentlemen, I have the honor
to present Professor Bauman
of the Vienna institute
of electric research.
Good morning, Professor!
Professor Bauman
is the inventor
of the invisible electric ray
burglar alarm system,
which we have
just installed.
We are going to make
some tests,
so please ignore any alarm
signals which you may hear.
- Thank you, Professor.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- You must know, gentlemen...
- Please.
...that our
burglar-proof system
is the most perfect
and unusual
that has yet been designed
by modern science.
Now, in here,
this little bulb --
- where?
- Where?
- Here. - Oh!
- Oh!
You see?
This little bulb
flashes an electric ray
through this tube,
right into a mirror,
which is hidden here.
- How interesting.
- Back there?
From here, it is reflected
into a second mirror,
which is placed
over there.
There is nothing
to reveal its presence
even to the most skillful
professional burglar
because the electric ray
is invisible to the naked eye.
Uh, just a moment,
sir.
I do not wish
to be disturbed.
Anyone attempting to cross
the line would break the ray,
the police siren
would sound,
and the invisible
flash light
would illuminate
the entire store
with a flood
of piercing light.
I'm sorry, but this is
very important, sir!
- It can wait.
- It can't wait!
I'm terribly sorry,
Professor. Go ahead.
And so, before a thief could
even approach your vault,
the alarm would sound.
Phenomenal! Splendid!
Ah, yes, let us extinguish
the lights,
and I will demonstrate
the system.
- But it's too late!
- What's too late?
The store
has just been robbed!
Ohh!
Madame is awake.
Hurry. Hurry.
Come! Come!
Hurry! Hurry!
Come on. Go on.
Whoop! Whoop!
Ooh, Dee Dee Dee
Dee Dee
Dee, boo
Ohh! My soap!
Yoo-hoo!
Why, hello, Teri.
Good morning, Marianne.
Morning?
Afternoon is more like it.
What's the latest news?
Another one of those
sensational jewel robberies.
- Not Hollanders?
- No -- Straussberger's.
"The fashionable
Straussberger's jewelry shop
"in Ringstrasse
was the scene this morning
"of the latest
jewel robbery.
"The thief, described
as a distinguished young man
"of fashionable appearance,
"works with a Polish
absolutely foreign
to usual
underworld methods."
Oh, my dear, don't give me
a shock like that again.
What is it, Teri?
Just as I had my finger
beautifully prepared
for the excelsior diamond,
I had visions
of it being carried away
by a band of criminals.
- The excelsior?
- Diamond --
the one that you and I went
into such raptures about.
- Franz is giving it to me.
- Oh, my dear!
He's meeting me
at Hollanders at 5:00.
I want you
to come along.
- The famous excelsior diamond!
- Yes!
Imagine having a husband
like yours,
who would gladly spend a fortune
just to make you happy.
You are a lucky girl,
Teri.
- Don't you think so?
- I did think so.
For a month, marriage
was thrilling and exciting.
- Then it became dull.
- What?
Unbearably dull.
Good gracious!
Married to 8 millions?
Aged 55,
with chronic gout.
- Please.
- Turn over.
No, thank you.
But for your lovers,
you may have your choice --
cabinet ministers, diplomats,
men of affairs.
When a man achieves
the distinction
of a red sash
across his shirtfront,
his chest, my dear, is the most
important part of his anatomy.
But the young attachs
of the diplomatic corps,
the m*llitary cadets --
are all thinking
too much of their future
to risk making love to the wife
of a man of Franz's importance.
Oh, for a knight who will
come riding in full armor,
sweep me into his arms,
and carry me away!
A knight who would gaze
into my eyes
and whisper passionately
that they were green,
like priceless emeralds
that he would gladly give
his life to possess.
But they are
not green.
They are blue.
Not emeralds. Sapphires.
Sapphires --
my first love.
- And your latest?
- Diamonds. White, pure, cold.
Virginal. And men?
I haven't found one
to supplant my jewels.
But Andre will be here
at any moment
to take it
to Hollanders.
Hurry. Hurry. Hurry.
Hurry, please.
The more haste,
the less speed, madame.
May I clear out
the window, Mr. Hollander?
Is it so late?
Almost closing time.
- But so light out.
- The long summer days.
The baroness
will soon be here
to take number 239.
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
Mr. Hollander?
Yes?
I have the honor
to present myself --
night watchman
Johan Christian Lenz
of the Vienna
protective agency.
I've never
seen you before.
That is why I'm presenting
my credentials.
I have been guarding
the national bank.
Hmm. That's not such
a fine recommendation.
My contract said I was
to watch out for burglars,
not directors.
Lenz is nobody's fool.
Mr. Hollander...
I don't like that aspersion
on my ability.
I am one of the agency's
best men.
So?
That is why I was sent here
to Ringstrasse.
There's been
too many robberies lately.
We must put a stop to it.
Good, good.
I shall breathe easier
now that you are here.
Thank you.
Thank you.
The window is ready
to be locked.
The door can wait.
I'll be here until 7:00 tonight,
on a special appointment.
Don't worry. I shall look in
every half-hour.
When Lenz guards a place,
the owners
can sleep peacefully.
So long.
I say thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Ah, the great
baroness Horhenfels.
- I beg your pardon.
- And madame horn.
Good evening.
Good evening,
count Andre.
- Leopold, three, please.
- Yes, sir.
W-we've been expecting you,
baroness.
And how is the baron?
Oh, he's quite well,
thank you.
I only hope he doesn't keep us
waiting too long.
Oh, look -- all of the dear,
little jewels
going virtuously to bed
for papa.
Their papa prefers them
less virtuous.
There's no profit
in sleeping at home.
I must remember that.
Oh, come, madame.
Come.
- Mr. Hollander?
- Yes?
Oh!
Thank you, Leopold.
You may go. I'll lock up.
Thank you, sir.
Good night, baroness, madame,
your excellency.
Marianne,
I can hardly wait.
Oh, Teri,
compose yourself.
- The lights flare up.
- The ring appears.
There should be music.
Ah!
The famous
excelsior diamond.
Oh, it's ducky,
isn't it?
It's too beautiful.
The new setting
pleases you?
What perfection!
Such brilliancy,
such depth.
There's something
of the infinite in it.
I would think so, too,
if you'd only let me see it.
- There!
- I'm not going to steal it from you.
Just look at it.
Please, please,
please, please.
28 carats.
Really, Teri,
you must tell me your secret.
4 carats is the best
I've been able to do,
and that had
a flaw in it.
What wouldn't a woman do
for such a treasure?
Oh, anything. I'd deceive
my husband, with pleasure.
A woman would do
much more than that.
She would tolerate her husband.
One? A dozen.
Oh, take it away quickly,
or I'll swallow it!
- Oh, Mr. Hollander?
- Yes, madame?
What is the price now?
- $50,000.
- Oh, $50,000.
Do you know
what I object to most?
No. What?
Her own husband
is buying it for her.
Imagine getting hold
of a prize like that
in such
a respectable fashion.
Oh, it's disgraceful.
Her own husband!
And here he is!
I'm sorry I'm late,
but I met our distinguished
undersecretary of state
walking along in distracted
fashion in front of Palheim's,
so I brought him
along with me.
Hardly the thing
for a cabinet officer.
Ah, my darling, I...
Ah, here it is.
- Very becoming, too.
- Yes.
Well, it's not as large
as I expected it to be.
Not as large?
28 carats.
What on earth
did you expect, Franz --
- the rock of Gibraltar?
- I don't know.
He won't buy it.
What are you asking
for it -- $30,000?
It's all over.
- $50,000.
- $50,000?
I was just about to say
it's hardly worth $20,000!
Oh, Andre, quickly, tell him
what a fine stone it is!
Yes.
- Oh, you've had a look at it, Andre?
- Oh, many times.
It's a friend
of 20-year standing.
Will you please
tell the baron
what a bargain
he's getting at $50,000?
$50,000 is out
of the question.
But I couldn't
let it go for less.
Well, you know your
own business best.
Teri?
Not going to buy it?
- Sorry, dear.
- But you promised.
Oh, you're missing
a great bargain.
Let me get you
the expert's appraisal.
In the original bill from
Louis Toone from Amsterdam,
you will see exactly
what it cost me.
I'll be back
in a moment.
Teri, I despair of ever making
a businesswoman of you.
You're going to buy it!
But not at his price.
He'll take less.
- Won't he, Andre?
- Well, the poor devil needs cash.
- Then we'll do even better.
- Ohh!
Now, it's silly
to be sentimental.
If our positions
were reversed,
he'd drive the hardest bargain
he could.
You use what weapons you can
to get money --
against a rich man,
a revolver...
Against a poor one,
his poverty.
Am I right, Paul?
Of course.
We diplomats, too,
are only effective
when we have power
and use it.
Franz?
Yes?
How much are you willing
to pay?
- $30,000.
- You'll get it.
Good night.
You going already?
I've served my purpose.
- Goodbye, darling.
- Goodbye.
I hope this new acquisition
brings you
a woman's most cherished need --
a new thrill.
Oh, Andre. Goodbye.
Goodbye, Teri.
I had trouble
finding the bill.
Here it is,
in black and white.
From Louis Toone
in Amsterdam --
in black and white, yes, yes.
Let's go into the office.
Yes. Yes.
You stay.
Please.
Why didn't you meet me
at Palheim's for tea?
I forgot.
45 minutes I stood
in front of that restaurant.
I'm sorry. Ohh!
You're a coquette.
Sometimes.
But with you,
I've been strangely honest.
The moment I realized
that I'd made a mistake,
that you weren't
a dream hero --
I have 12 w*r medals
for bravery.
And haven't I seen them,
over and over?
I say,
as soon as I realized --
there was some disappointment
on my side, too.
Well, then, how easy it should
be for us to say goodbye.
I'm not a schoolboy that you can
throw over with a gesture.
What is the right way
to throw you over?
I'm not going to
be thrown over at all.
I'm going to marry you.
You know my husband,
I believe.
Of course, Teri, but when
as fine a woman as you --
I'm not a fine woman.
In my own eyes,
I'm shallow and weak.
Why?
Because I go on leading
a shallow and weak life.
Whereas with a little courage,
I could break away from it.
I have all the qualities
to make quite a decent person.
And what have I done
with them?
I fly about all day, pursuing
furs, jewels, excitement.
I don't love.
I don't even suffer -- that is,
anything except boredom.
In the morning, a cocktail,
in the afternoon, a man,
in the evening, veronal.
That, my dear minister of state,
is my picture of your Teri.
Is it too high?
What on earth?
I took stock of myself when
I decided to break with you.
- This is the result.
- But, Teri --
oh, it won't be lasting --
just the passionate,
fleeting desire
that my life should be
clear, simple, and pure,
like that stone.
What you've just said
convinces me more than ever
that you need me
as a husband.
Oh, Paul.
Congratulations, madame.
- All settled?
- We compromised.
I accepted his offer.
And here it is.
Lambie!
Oh!
By all means.
Good evening.
Good evening.
Anything
I can do for you?
I'm sorry to intrude
at this late hour.
Oh, its perfectly
all right.
Well, then, will you kindly
put up your hands?
Ohh!
All of you.
I'll sh**t
anyone who moves.
Proceed, gentlemen.
Never mind the lady.
I think I'm going to faint.
There's no reason
why you should, madame.
You're really
very safe here.
Sorry.
Wha--
oh, wh-what are you
and your men doing?
With your permission,
Mr. Hollander,
we're robbing
your shop.
Ohh. Police!
Ohh.
Uh, gentlemen, will you
be seated, please?
I prefer to stand.
I won't att*ck you.
That's reassuring, but
I'd rather you were seated.
I don't like strangers
looking over my shoulder.
I wish they'd pass a rule
like that at my bridge club.
- This is preposterous. Something should be done.
- You do it.
I am unfamiliar
with the procedure
under the circumstances.
Henry.
Don't forget you're handling
our property now.
That's right, sir!
I was forgetting!
Do be a bit careful,
won't you?
Don't bother to look
after the police.
My chauffeur will attend
to that for you.
Oh, by the way, Mr. Hollander,
are you insured?
Yes.
- For the whole value?
- Yes.
Well, then,
why look so tragic?
Be happy that, in these
unspeakably bad times,
I'm turning your merchandise
into cash for you.
But I have
so many old pieces.
I'll never be able to assemble
such a stock again.
Subtle bit of business.
That's old-fashioned.
Can't you do something
to liven up our little party,
baroness Horhenfels?
You know me?
I know all the people
who own unusual jewelry --
one of the elementary
requirements of my trade.
Won't you chat, please?
Chat?
Yes, chat --
uh, airy nothings.
Can't you smile a little?
You look so charming
when you smile.
This is a joke,
isn't it?
Joke?
You're
not really a thief.
"Thief"?
That's an ugly word.
Uh, let's say "robber."
What's the distinction?
Well, there's more flavor
to "robber."
We're in the most exclusive
jewelry shop in the Ringstrasse.
In robbing
a place of this sort,
one must have
a drawing-room technique.
And this, I find,
always helps
to make the atmosphere
more congenial.
And nothing like music
to keep people
from doing rash things
in a moment like this.
Now, may I disturb you
a moment?
Thank you.
Oh, isn't that beautiful?
South Africa
or Sumatra?
- Sumatra.
- Mm.
Cut by Schindhelm
in Amsterdam.
Yes.
You have exquisite taste,
Mr. Hollander.
Thank you.
That's why I'm paying you
this visit.
You're just
a common thief.
"Robber."
Your face
is vaguely familiar.
I've seen you
somewhere before.
Possibly.
What are your clubs?
- I'm beginning to place you.
- Oh?
It was
at some polo game.
Now, at what polo game
have I been
where there was
a robbery?
My dear minister,
if it was at a polo match,
I was playing.
Uh,
will please say, "ah"?
Mm.
No. Say, uh,
"ninety-nine."
Ninety-nine.
Thank you.
"From Teri."
Now, uh, may I
disturb you again?
Thank you.
That's a very becoming dress
you're wearing.
I'm not sure
I wouldn't like you better
in blue --
a deep, lovely blue.
It would just match
your eyes.
Has everyone ever told you that
your eyes are like sapphires?
Apparently, conversation doesn't
interfere with your work.
No, not at all.
On the contrary, it calms.
It dissipates all fear.
Notice how calm
you've all become.
Terror has vanished from
the scene of the robbery.
All quiet, sir.
The girls
are doing beautifully --
not a policeman
within 10 blocks.
Splendid, splendid.
Whenever we stage
an event of this kind,
we always place a very alluring
blonde on each corner.
So we never have to worry
about the police.
Effective,
don't you think?
This is becoming
delightful.
The lady is pleased?
I am glad.
He doesn't need
your encouragement.
But it helps.
Oh, you must admit
the situation's unusual.
And the operation
practically painless.
You see now the advantage of
suiting the method to the place?
The customary technique
of terrorism
would certainly
not have amused you.
As it is, the lady has smiled,
the gentlemen are at ease,
and we shall even have time
to take a lot of the gold
and silver.
That's very accommodating.
I'm learning a lot
from you.
Now,
that's a real tribute.
That's the first time
I've ever known my husband
to admit that he could learn
anything from anybody.
He's going to learn
something from me someday.
I wouldn't provoke him,
Paul.
He doesn't get a chance to sh**t
a cabinet minister every day.
He's comparatively safe.
I do very little sh**ting
these days.
As a matter of fact,
I'm opposed to the American
school of banditry.
I studied in Paris.
You have to work harder,
but you do acquire
a certain finesse
that is missing
from the "stick 'em up
and sh**t them down" school.
And note this, too --
no mess, no confusion.
A new stock can be moved in
tomorrow.
No bankruptcy lawyer ever
cleared out a place more tidily.
For which
I must thank you all.
You have cooperated
beautifully.
Protective agency
coming, sir.
Thank heavens.
Sit down.
- If you move --
- I-I'm not moving.
It's marvelous how you respond
to suggestion.
- Now, one last favor, yes?
- Yes.
When the watchman enters,
just talk to him calmly
and leisurely.
Tell him that you still have
half an hour's work to do.
- You understand?
- Yes.
- "I have some more work to do. Come
back in a half an hour." - Right.
And none of you should find it
difficult to be calm
with my revolver
pointed at you.
And now let's talk
so our good friend
won't be troubled.
Do you tango, madame?
There's nothing
like a tango
to bring people
closer together.
Well, here I am,
Mr. Hollander.
Time, tide, and Lenz
can always be depended upon.
A little too early.
I still have some work to do.
Come back in an hour.
Half an hour, Mr. Hollander.
Half an hour will be enough.
Oh, yes.
Half an hour.
As you say.
Huh.
All the goods put away.
Yes.
Every last piece.
That's fine.
Much better than to let things
lie around all night.
You might be my echo.
Always be suspicious.
Don't be fooled
by anybody.
Anything strange --
if it ain't more
than a mouse's whisker --
call the police.
There's a man for you.
From the Vienna protective
agency, aren't you?
That's right.
I could tell.
- May I ask a favor?
- Surely, sir.
You may have noticed my car
standing in front of the shop.
Would you mind
carrying out those two bags
and putting them in?
- With pleasure, sir.
- Thank you.
Say! They're not filled
with feathers, are they?
I should say not.
Gold.
Gold? Oh, I see.
Taking it away
to have it melted.
Yes, tomorrow,
the whole lot gets melted.
Well, I'm glad to see somebody
in Vienna's doing business.
Good night, Mr. Hollander.
Good night.
And you won't move
away from this car
until I come out,
will you?
When I watch, I watch.
Lenz is nobody's fool.
Please?
No, no,
no, no, no.
Well,
I must bow to that.
- Thank you.
- Delicious.
Thank you, but
I've done even better.
- Once in Paris --
- it's getting late, sir.
Oh, yes.
- Cigarette?
- No, thanks.
Mr. Hollander, do smoke
one of my cigarettes.
With pleasure.
Now, inhale deeply.
Thank you.
Yes, in Paris once,
as I started to tell you,
I carried away a case of gold
in broad daylight,
and 12 gendarmes
accompanied my motor.
Nothing like having
the help of the police.
Mere bravado.
Not at all.
I don't fancy your method
of buying the authorities.
- That's a lie.
- Come on, now, baron.
We know that you bankers
keep governments
in your
waistcoat pockets.
- You're a communist.
- I'm not a communist.
Go right on smoking,
Mr. Hollander.
Never mind us.
Oh, the present order
of society
is entirely satisfactory
to me.
You think I should do as well
for myself under communism?
What should I steal?
Power plants? Grain elevators?
International finance
takes brains.
He's not laughing at you, baron.
It's just life you're laughing
at, Mr. Hollander, isn't it?
If you're so clever,
why not come around to my office
someday, and I'll try you out?
I couldn't take that chance.
You're a banker.
You might not be honest
with me.
What's so funny?!
Drop him on the sofa,
then out the back.
What did you give him?
A pleasant,
harmless smoke.
He'll awake in the morning,
fresh and happy,
with a marvelous appetite.
- Gentlemen.
- I am smoking. Thanks.
I only smoke cigars.
Well, then, perhaps
you will be kind enough
to step into the safe.
No.
To my everlasting regret,
I am going to be forced
to lock you in.
Don't be depressed.
It isn't for life.
The cells are --
uh, the safes
are comfortable
and electrically lighted.
And now, madame,
with which gentleman
would you prefer
to share a safe?
I prefer not to be locked up
at all, with either of them.
Very diplomatic.
In that case, we lock
the gentlemen up together.
If you please,
gentlemen.
Let me tell you
something.
If you let us go now,
I'll try
and get you off
with a light sentence,
but if you lock us up,
that's legal as*ault,
and I'll see to it
that you get the limit.
I'm sorry
to have to interrupt.
You can finish your speech
in the safe.
Darling!
Auf Wiedersehen!
Don't let him
frighten you, Teri.
The evening paper, sir!
Now to dispose of you.
What are you
going to do to me?
No.
- Well, then, a cigarette.
- No!
Oh, but they're
harmless, really.
Two puffs, and you'll
be hearing soft music.
The world will begin
to revolve pleasantly.
No.
Three,
a beautiful dream.
How do you know
all this?
Experience. I assure you, all
the ladies fall asleep happily.
Oh. So you can steal their
jewels in peace, I suppose.
I'm sorry.
I won't take it.
I don't want to
have to force you.
I won't take it.
You're adamant?
I prefer to keep my wits
about me, thank you.
I had a feeling
you'd be stubborn.
I'm not trying to amuse you,
but to make a clean getaway.
Would you rather I gag you?
Why must you do
anything to me?
I have no particular desire
to see you arrested.
Thank you.
You've given me
a very exciting 10 minutes.
It will make me
the center of interest
at teas and dinners
for weeks to come.
But think how much more
interesting your story will be
if I brutally gag you.
It's a much better story
if I could say
that you locked the gentlemen
in the safe and dashed out.
Well, you don't actually
have to dash.
Then everyone will ask you
why you didn't call out.
That will make you an accomplice
after the fact.
Ooh!
That's even more thrilling.
I'm afraid we're losing sight
of the main object.
Oh, no, no, please.
Please don't hurt my lips.
Everyone says my lips --
are heavenly.
You're so lovely.
It's hard
to be brutal with you.
You do strike a fresh note.
Up to now, men have always been
brutal because I am lovely.
Please. The safe.
Certainly.
Thank heavens.
Please?
- With pleasure.
- Thank you.
If you'll come with me.
What?
What do you expect me
to do in there alone?
Madame,
this is business.
I refuse the safe.
Well,
then come with me.
I'll drop you somewhere
in the suburbs, untouched.
Untouched in the suburbs?
Oh, no.
No, that doesn't
intrigue me at all.
I'm afraid you'll just
have to let me go free here.
- No, no, that's the last thing I can do.
- But why?
I assure you I have no interest
in having you arrested.
The man in me
would like to believe you.
The robber
is more cynical.
I give you my word.
No.
I don't lie.
My hand on it.
Your hand.
Oh! Oh, my ring!
Ohh!
Oh.
Oh, it would have been
a pity to miss this.
Now, don't bend your finger.
It may hurt.
You shouldn't put obstacles
in the way
of a man trying
to earn his living.
Oh. Marvelous.
How intimate.
You hurt me.
Aw, no, no.
Are you really going to
steal my ring?
Yes,
but only as a memento,
a souvenir of the lady
who was willing
to share a safe with me.
That's not true.
I didn't mean that.
No, but you did mean the slap,
didn't you?
You know, I'd have allowed
more time for this robbery
if I'd known you
to be here.
I'm almost tempted
to kiss you.
I-I'm afraid
you might scream.
And...
Ah. Here.
H-here you are, sir.
Ah, splendid.
With the compliments of the
Vienna protective agency --
not a loss to an investor
in 38 years.
Oh, no,
I couldn't, sir.
Come, an honest day's pay
for an honest day's work.
Thank you, sir.
Cigarette?
Thank you, sir.
Just keep the box.
Oh, thank you, sir!
I'll smoke them later.
What is the matter, sir?
- Another robbery!
- Where?
Out in the shops,
the Ringstrasse!
These robberies are becoming
increasingly daring!
It is essential that we leave
no stone unturned
to apprehend this criminal
and his possible accomplices!
A man comes out of
nowhere, flourishing a revolver.
To Teri, such a man
is not an enemy to society,
but a romantic figure.
I must work hard to acquire
wealth, devise shrewdly,
think clearly, outwit men.
But that doesn't
make me interesting,
- does it, my darling?
- No, dear.
No, but this man, perfectly safe
behind his revolver...
Safe? I'm glad I'm not
in his shoes.
Teri will soon
have a chance
to see how debonair he is
wearing handcuffs.
Yeah.
- Oh, here they are.
- Hello, Teri.
- What's the matter, Franz?
- Teri will tell you.
- I'm so glad you've come.
- Well, what's happened?
Something thrilling.
What is it, Paul?
There was a holdup
in the jewelry shop.
- What?!
- Just after you left.
Oh, how exciting!
We were locked
in the safe.
Teri was left alone
with the robber.
The police aren't satisfied
with her statement.
Oh, they are silly to expect
a woman to tell the truth
about what happened when
she was alone with a man.
Imagine!
That's the order
of the day --
be attracted
to a criminal!
Any man who doesn't bathe daily
and who has a police record
becomes a hero.
The courtrooms are crowded
with women.
A man that does
some sh**ting,
and half the women
forget their husbands.
And if he happens
to have married
a girl or two on the side,
he becomes a national hero.
You're quite right.
What did happen, Teri?
- I fainted.
- She didn't.
You also believe that I let
the robber go free?
You let him go because
you're incurably romantic.
He evidently extracted
a promise from you
to keep quiet if he didn't lock
you up in the other safe,
and you were so touched
by his consideration
that you kept your word.
I've noticed that women
keep their word
only with men
they'll never see again.
The president
is waiting, sir.
Excuse me.
Good evening.
- Ha!
- Miss, excuse me.
I am here because the police
ordered me to come.
Nevertheless,
I-I want to thank you
for explaining to the police
that even a Sherlock Holmes
would have carried out
the two bags.
Yes, yes.
Did they say
which one of the robbers
they think
they have caught?
- Caught?!
- One of the robbers?
- You didn't know?
- That's probably why they sent for Paul just now.
Oh, yes,
he would know.
He has made a personal issue
of this.
He is right.
What would happen
if they started
locking cabinet ministers
in vaults as a regular habit?
The country would probably
have some peace.
Whom have they arrested?
One of the robbers,
they think.
Did they find any of the jewels
on him?
If they had, there'd be
no need to identify him.
Yeah, more than likely,
they've caught someone
- who was Miles away from the scene of the robbery!
- I hope so.
Is that a fitting sentiment
for an ex-police officer?
I don't like this business
of identifying robbers.
The president is waiting
to question us again.
Very good.
He'll see you later.
Ah.
But nevertheless,
we still want to know
why you did not scream
when the robber left.
I told you.
I fainted.
Bring in the prisoner!
We have caught
one of the men.
I told you the police
would get them.
If it's the robber
and he isn't handsome,
I'll never
forgive you, Teri.
Will you be so good
as to identify him?
Baron Horhenfels, you
recognize this man, don't you?
I think so.
My eyes were focused
on the leader,
but I'm quite sure
this fellow
was one of the thieves,
quite sure.
And you, baroness?
Uh, I don't know.
I think not.
- You think not?
- I think not.
You haven't
half-looked at him.
W--
I suppose he's one of them.
You'll swear to that?
Perhaps.
Send in
night watchman Lenz.
Hollander could identify him,
I'm certain.
That drugged cigarette will
keep him asleep for hours yet.
We'll question him
when he wakes up.
Lenz, this man was
one of them, wasn't he?
I-I simply put
the bags in the car.
But he was one of the thieves,
wasn't he?!
I simply put the bags
in the car.
I see nothing
to laugh at!
Neither do I.
But if you would
have tipped me off,
given me the high sign,
winked your other eye,
or wriggled your little finger
at the robber,
I'd have been
on my guard.
But there you all sat
as quiet-like --
as quiet...
As a man with a g*n
pointed at him.
This is no joke, Lenz!
I'll talk to you later!
As for you ladies
and gentlemen,
there will be no need of further
questions for the present.
I thank you for your indulgence
and your cooperation.
You stay!
Good night, baron.
Good night, baroness.
It was very kind of you
to come down.
So...
Perhaps a little
solitary confinement
will improve
your eyesight.
Cigarettes.
- Polacheck!
- Yes, excellency?
- Some cigarettes.
- Yes, excellency.
Permit me,
your excellency.
And your memory --
possibly that'll improve
under the gentle care
of our police.
Quiet!
Andre, will you please
see Teri and Marianne home?
We're going with the president
to follow up some clues.
And console yourself
with the thought
that, in all probability, I
shall phone you in half an hour
and tell you that we have
captured the thief.
You are most generous.
The thought that you are placing
your life in jeopardy
in the defense of your honor
and mine
will enable me
to sleep soundly.
Good night.
H-hello!
H-hello?!
Hello! Hello! Hello!
Yes, this is Napolon.
No! No!
I am Napolon!
No, no, this is Napolon.
No, I am Napolon.
But you can't be Napolon.
Why?
Now, why?
Why can't I be Napolon?
Because you look like --
what?
What do I look like?
- You look like the --
- president!
Quiet!
Ohh!
Where did these roses
come from?
They weren't here
when I left.
Someone sent them!
Oh, you are brilliant.
But who?
Berta will know.
Your husband.
You should know better
than that.
Paul.
He's the kind
who only sends orchids.
An unknown admirer?
I wonder.
There's no card.
Did you ring, madame?
Berta, Berta,
come here quickly.
When did these
flowers arrive?
- They didn't.
- Who brought them?
No one, madame.
They weren't here
when I left.
No, madame.
But no one delivered them.
- Are you sure of that?
- Yes, madame.
I see.
That's all, Berta.
You won't need me to --
no, no, that's all, Berta.
Good night.
Good night, madame.
It might have been.
The robber wasn't really
short and fat, was he?
He was short and fat.
For the police, yes,
but between ourselves,
- what was he like?
- Marianne!
- What was he like?
- Marianne, no, no, no.
What was he like?
Oh, what was he like?
Charming.
Very attractive?
Beyond your dreams.
Distinguished?
He robbed that shop
like an emperor bestowing
a cross of honor.
Marvelous!
And so gay,
so well poised.
As I watched him
go about his work so simply,
I realized
what a high civilization
we have
in Europe today.
What a shame to meet a man
like that in a shop.
Why a shame?
He's the sort of robber
one should meet in a Pullman.
What do you mean?
- Didn't you see it in the paper?
- No.
Last week, an American woman
was robbed
in the Simplon Express,
stripped right down
to her teddies.
No!
What would you do if you found
yourself in your teddies?
What would you do?
Let the train go on!
Lost soul!
When I'm traveling at the rate
of 80 Miles an hour,
I'm not responsible
for my actions.
Oh!
Shh. Listen.
What's the matter?
- Someone's walking in the garden.
- Nonsense.
Someone's walking in the garden,
I tell you.
I can hear
the gravel crunching.
I can hear it, too.
Oh, look quickly,
Marianne.
I'm afraid.
No, no. No, no, go.
Go on quickly, quickly.
Wait.
Someone is walking
in the garden.
Who is it?
A man!
A man?
Quickly, quickly!
Let me see!
Where?
- There.
- Where?
There, just stepping
into the light.
Oh, my heart.
Ohh.
My chauffeur.
How stupid.
Aah!
I'm going to
get out of here.
It's giving me
the creeps.
Marianne!
The balcony door's unlatched.
Someone has been here.
I knew it.
What is it?
My jewelry.
My jewelry's in this room.
Where?
In the safe, over there
behind that panel.
The safe is open.
This is the end.
He's taken everything.
Why are such men
allowed to live?
Oh, my poor darling.
I hope they catch him
and k*ll him!
- Making a fool of me, sending me flowers, flowers, flowers!
- Oh, Teri.
All my beautiful things!
My beautiful things.
What?
It's all here.
There's not a thing
missing.
Then, why in heaven
did he --
unless...
What?
The ring! The ring
he stole from me today.
How could it be?
Oh, the sweet thing.
He's made me a gift of my ring.
That would happen to you.
He's marvelous!
Teri, it's immoral.
And now that I have the ring,
what am I going to do with it?
You must telephone the police
at once.
- And let them know that I have it?
- Of course.
Impossible. If they know
that I have the ring --
then it would come out
that there was something
- between you and the robber.
- Yes.
Ah, you admit, then,
that you did let him get away.
Yes.
Even though
he's a robber to us,
he stormed that shop
like a hero.
Yes, I did let him go.
How will you ever
get out of this affair?
I wish I knew.
And the worst of it is,
I can't keep the ring.
- It's sure to be discovered.
- Of course.
I'll have to give it
back to him.
- Are you crazy?
- Maybe.
How will you
ever find him?
He'll find me.
Oh.
Please order the car
for me at once.
Marianne, you're not gonna
desert me in this crisis?
Oh, I don't mind
a little flirtation,
but this is
going too far.
Oh, please, please.
Just stay the night.
I should say not.
There will be a scandal, and
I'm going to protect myself.
How ashamed you'll be in the
morning for having deserted me.
- Did you ring, madame?
- Yes, Berta.
Tell the chauffeur that madame
horn is leaving immediately.
- Yes, madame.
- I hope you're disgusted with yourself.
There, now.
You can go.
Well, be displeased with me.
I can't help it.
I'm a respectable woman,
and I'm afraid.
Don't you think I'm afraid?
I shan't close my eyes
all night.
Well, this is one night
I shall be very glad
to be with my husband.
What do you want?
If it's possible,
a cup of tea.
Oh.
Oh, were you thinking
of going to bed?
Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
Why, then,
let's talk.
- Talk?
- Yes.
The conditions
are so perfect --
no one at home,
the servants asleep,
complete stillness outside,
and so much to talk about.
Help.
That's adorable.
Please do it again.
- Oh, this is awful.
- Why?
I'm having a very good time.
Won't you sit down?
You behave exactly as though
you were paying a call.
I am.
After a very brief
and informal introduction,
I am now making
a formal call.
Through the window.
But only to preserve
your reputation.
I came very discreetly,
by way of the drainpipe.
That's not legal! Oh.
Oh. Permit me.
You know they've caught
one of your men?
Oh, he'll go free.
We shall produce
12 witnesses who will swear
that he spent the entire
afternoon with them
at his aunt's house,
15 Miles away.
That's not true.
Well, certainly not.
Neither am I short and fat,
as you told the police.
How do you know that?
I, uh, overheard your
conversation in the bedroom.
While I was undressing?
You were everything
I anticipated.
Cognac?
Thank you.
Well, I'm glad.
Yes, I'm very glad
that you're here.
- You excite me.
- If you hadn't come,
I should have had to go
and look for you.
You are making me
divinely happy.
How dare do you present me
with this ring.
Oh, forgive me, but the ring
was yours originally.
Yes.
Yes, that's true.
But don't you understand
that if I --
the only way
that I can get the ring back
is to have the police
return it to me,
following your arrest.
I'm sorry, but, uh, that method
of returning it to you
doesn't intrigue me.
Then take it back,
at once.
No, I'm not in the habit
of taking back gifts.
If you don't want it,
give it to the police.
But that's just what I can't do.
Don't you see?
No,
I won't take it back.
If I keep the ring,
it makes me your accomplice.
It binds me to you.
A consummation devoutly
to be wished.
Be careful.
If you drive me too far,
I'll scream for help!
I will not take back
the ring.
So, you will not
take back the ring?
No.
Well, then, hands up.
Are you sure
that's loaded?
If you don't steal back
that ring immediately,
I'll sh**t you.
You want to make a pool
of blood, huh?
Yes.
Well...
If you insist.
Ohh.
Did I hurt you?
D-do be a bit more careful,
won't you?
Now...
Let's try it again.
I don't know what to do.
Why did you come here tonight?
A philanderer would say
because he loved you.
So I can't say it.
But I do.
I can't believe that.
Why?
Because --
how old are you?
- 15.
- Huh?
Oh, I've lived 15 years.
The rest doesn't count.
Your conscience?
Uh,
beautifully clear.
Your past?
Fortunate.
Your future?
Doesn't exist.
I live only
for the present.
And the present is you.
I beg your pardon!
No one knows
I'm in the house.
Night is before us,
and, if you wish,
at dawn we shall have
a secret behind us.
That's not possible.
A man like you
doesn't climb a drainpipe
just to make love
to a woman.
- True, alas.
- Ah.
I'm being sought in every
quarter of the city.
An army of detectives
is searching for me.
The last place anyone would
think of looking for me
is your bedroom.
Oh. So you expect to stay here
until morning?
Oh, I'm forced to.
Tomorrow the chase
starts all over again.
I must have
a peaceful night.
A peaceful night
in my bedroom?
Tomorrow I'll disappear
and take my loot with me.
What loot?
Forgive me.
I forgot to tell you.
I've deposited
the stolen jewels with you.
What?!
In the rear compartment
of your safe.
Uh, the police will never think
of looking for them there.
You mean Hollanders
whole shop's in there?
No, uh,
only the diamonds.
Take it
right out of there!
In that small, brown,
leather bag.
Take it away at once.
But honestly,
it's the best place for them.
I shall
go out of my mind.
- Who's there?
- Berta!
There's a detective here
from police headquarters!
A detective?
He wants to speak to you,
madame!
What'll I say?
We're already in bed.
We're already --
I'm already in bed.
Tell him he'll have to wait
till I dress.
- The drainpipe. The drainpipe.
- One moment.
I'll have a look first.
They mustn't
find you here.
No luck.
Two policemen below.
Quickly, hide.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
not there --
my husband's bedroom.
Oh, if he should
come back?
The detective says he
can't wait any longer, madame!
Don't be nervous. If there's
any danger, depend on me.
Yes, yes! I'm coming!
Good evening, madame.
I am from the police department.
Oh, please,
won't you sit down?
I'm sorry to disturb you
so late,
but I'm here
on an important matter
in connection with the jewel
robbery of this evening.
Yes?
The examination has taken
a suspicious turn.
It involves you
more than ever.
Me?
And in one
of our best hotels,
we seem to have found
a valuable clue.
Really?
A distinguished young man of
fashionable appearance.
Yes?
Two hours
after the robbery,
this young man returned
to his hotel,
and most significant,
he carried in his hand
a small leather bag,
an ordinary, harmless-looking,
brown, leather bag.
Why should I be interested
in anything of this kind?
I beg your pardon.
I merely mentioned it that you
might have a complete picture.
When the gentleman
left the hotel,
he again carried with him
the brown, leather bag.
He climbed into a taxi,
the detective
directly behind him.
Must you go
into all these details?
Wait a minute. The taxi
proceeded along the ring,
past the Karls church, and turned
into the Argentinierstrasse.
Into my street?
And there it stopped.
The gentleman left the taxi
and went the rest of the way
on foot.
Presently, he stopped
in front of your house.
Ohh!
Your house, madame.
And that is why
I permitted myself
to disturb you
at so late an hour.
Oh, but I-I still
don't understand why --
it is my opinion
that this man
has somehow managed to hide
himself in this house.
Impossible!
What are you
going to do?
- Search the house.
- Search the house?!
Why are you so frightened,
now that you are safe?
Oh, yes, yes, of course.
Search the house.
Search thoroughly, from roof to cellar.
Begin at the cellar.
Perhaps
you will be so kind
as to leave the method
of search to me.
First of all, I should like
to look at your jewelry,
to make sure
that nothing is missing.
That won't be necessary.
I've just looked myself.
It's all there.
- And this ring?
- What?
There's a description
of this ring with the police.
This is
the excelsior diamond.
Oh, no.
No, you must be mistaken.
Madame, how did this ring
come into your possession?
Well, this evening,
when I opened my safe,
I found it there.
Really?
That must be
a most interesting safe.
We will examine it
a little more closely.
Ohh!
Oh. Oh. No.
Well,
this is delightful --
a leather bag,
a harmless-looking,
brown, leather bag.
I swear I'm innocent.
And in it, the stolen jewels
from the Ringstrasse.
Oh, surely, surely
you don't believe that --
you may have
a plausible explanation
for this terrible situation,
madame.
But as a police official,
I must unfortunately
do my duty.
Oh, what are you doing?
I'm ringing
for the maid.
- Yes, madame?
- Madame's bag --
- and pack what may be necessary for a night.
- A night?!
It may not be necessary
after all,
with your
husband's influence,
but first of all
we shall have to go
- to the house of the police president...
- No.
...and after,
if he thinks it's necessary,
- to the police station.
- No. No, it's incredible.
I can't go.
I won't go, I tell you.
Think of the scandal.
The police aren't afraid
of scandals.
Baroness Horhenfels
at a police station?
It's unthinkable.
I won't stand for it.
One moment.
- Ohh.
- I need that bag.
Adieu, dear lady.
Forgive me if I've
inconvenienced you too much.
Beware of the law!
What a pity.
I congratulate you, sir.
You've won the round.
Take him away.
You mean you're
going to arrest him?
Help! Help!
Yes, madame?
Now you're calling for help.
You should have done that
at the jewelry shop.
- Oh, what shall I do?
- Come along.
All right,
I'll go with you.
But you'll see.
You'll be sorry.
Wait till
my husband comes --
oh. Oh.
Don't you worry, madame!
I'll tell the baron about it!
He'll take care
of those brutes!
Oh, madame!
Here we are.
Get along, now.
Don't hang back.
Why not be a bit polite?
We can move without
being growled at.
Shut up.
I'm frightened.
The president
will be here in a moment.
Do they examine you
here in this room?
Examine
and cross-examine.
You get to like it
after a while.
Like it?
The police president's
apartment?
Oh, no.
My apartment.
Your apartment?
Allow me to present Fritz,
an old associate of mine --
very trustworthy
on these occasions.
He's not a detective?
Oh, indeed, no,
madame.
Oh, I never was so happy
to meet a robber.
Forgive me, madame,
if I have caused you
a few
unpleasant moments.
So, this was all part of
an elaborate plot to kidnap me.
What other means
were open to me?
You wouldn't have accepted
an invitation, would you?
I should hope not.
You remember my offer?
Well, here we are --
set down in the suburbs,
untouched.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Supper first.
Oh, no. No, it isn't true,
any of it.
I'm at home, dreaming.
And I am with you.
Good night,
and good appetite.
Good night, Fritz.
Alone with a robber
in his den.
Are you unhappy?
I don't know.
At the present moment,
I'm in the grip of an
overwhelming passion.
Yes?
Yes. I'm hungry.
Oh.
That's because
you were frightened.
There's nothing like a little
fear to whet one's appetite.
Now, will you be so kind
as to introduce me to you?
Which one of me?
Oh.
Is there more than one?
Oh, dozens.
That's another requirement
of my trade.
Let me see, now --
which name to take?
Usually it's so easy.
You give me a name.
I don't want to,
really.
The nicest part
of this whole affair
is that
you're the unknown,
a figure
out of a fairy tale,
the robber
in seven-league boots.
No, this isn't the time
for me to give you a name,
but to forget my own.
Much the better way.
Merely man.
Merely woman.
And to whatever
joins them.
You're not drinking.
You are my wine tonight.
Oh, now, please.
Can't you do better
than that?
That was a bit shopworn,
I confess.
But what would you have me do,
invite you immediately to --
you can't invite me
to do anything.
Whatever you do
must be done by force.
Well, then...
Ooh!
Ooh!
What are you doing?
Using force.
Oh, please, let's not be
in such a hurry.
There are so many pleasant
intervening steps.
For instance?
Well, I think I should
know more about you.
You don't want to hear
the story of my life.
Why not?
I'm curious to know
how you were led astray.
Well, I began life
as a little boy.
I'm glad to hear that you kept
to the same sex.
Yes.
It's a family tradition.
But very soon
I began to want things,
beautiful things.
And one day in Paris,
I stopped to admire
a display of jewelry
in a shop window,
miraculously
beautiful gems
behind a thin pane
of glass.
Suddenly,
the glass was gone.
I had broken it.
My career had begun.
And you've broken windows
ever since?
No.
My technique improved
as my collection grew.
Show me your jewels,
will you?
Of course.
There -- there must be some
gorgeous things among them.
There are. Of course, I don't
keep everything right on tap.
Even a robber has to
look out for burglars.
Exhibit "a" --
compliments of Mr. Hollander
and Teri Horhenfels.
Oh, no, not those.
I want to see what you stole
in Paris, Rome, London.
Paris, Rome, London.
Oh!
I want to play with these
the way a child plays with sand,
try them all on...
Pour them
all over me...
Bury myself in them.
Oh, they're too heavenly.
This necklace --
where did you get it?
At a charity ball.
What courage!
No, merely
nimble fingers.
The lady stood beside me.
The prince of wales
was announced.
I could have removed
her dress.
And these emeralds?
I owe to the invention
of the airship.
When a zeppelin arrives,
everybody looks up.
I look down.
This lovely stone with the
rose cast -- where's it from?
Somewhere between
Lyon and Marseilles.
Was she pretty?
Suppose she was.
I'm jealous.
Jealous?
Does that mean
you love me?
It must mean
something like that.
It's my only excuse.
Will you come away
with me?
I leave Vienna tonight.
We'll fly together.
Flight? Oh, no.
Abduction, perhaps.
Anything you like.
Where do we go?
To eternity.
Oh, that sounds far.
I'm afraid.
Stay close to me,
and you won't be afraid.
Come with me to nice.
We'll be Miles from Vienna.
The season is on.
The casinos are gay.
We'll bathe ourselves
in music,
drown ourselves
in champagne.
I'll make love to you as
I've dreamed of making love.
That sounds divine.
Perhaps there by the sea,
away from everything --
don't say "perhaps."
Dance with me in nice
on Thursday.
Oh, wait.
I feel now that
I don't dare go with you.
How will I feel
tomorrow
when I've realized
that I've let you go?
I know how I'll feel.
I'll dance with you
Thursday.
- The hotel Negresco.
- For tea.
Darling.
I'll follow on the first
possible train.
Now I'll rush home
and pack.
I warn you, if you fail me,
I'll be right back.
Infant. I'm already
on my way to you.
Goodbye till day
after tomorrow.
You promise you won't let
the police catch you.
I promise.
Charles? Charles.
- Yes, sir?
- I'm off.
- I'm going to nice.
- But you can't do that.
- Every railway station's being watched.
- Pooh to them.
I'll be in nice
the day after tomorrow.
Oh, what an adventure
this is going to be.
We'll start packing
at once.
Bring me that jewel case
from the library table.
There's no jewel case
here!
I left it there
on the library table.
You couldn't have,
unless somebody's taken it.
Don't be funny.
Why, I...
Did...
Good heaven,
it isn't possible.
What's that?
- That woman -- she got away with it.
- I don't believe it.
A thing like that
couldn't happen to you.
Couldn't it?
Well, it has.
I've always warned you
about those society women.
This is ridiculous.
She won't get away with it.
- Call the police at once.
- The police?!
Oh, of course
we can't do that.
This is what I get for being
such a sentimentalist,
for believing in the fundamental
honesty of people.
Well, I'll be.
Oh, no.
No, I can't do it.
Police!
Cover the rear! You take the right!
You take the left!
One of the best jobs
we've ever pulled off,
and not a stone
to show for it.
Police! Police!
The streets are swarming
with them.
- Is everything set?
- Yes.
- The doors all barred?
- Solid.
Then clear out quickly.
I'll join you in half an hour.
Giddyap.
You robbed me.
The jewelry
was safer with me.
You told me so yourself when
you brought it to my house.
Am I to believe that that
was the reason you took it?
Oh, don't think about that now.
The police are here.
Oh, don't worry about me.
I'll get away.
What are you
going to do?
What can I do?
- Come with me.
- Where?
- Over the roofs and away.
- I don't dare.
Romance, adventure, gaiety,
excitement, a chance to live.
No, no, I can't, I tell you.
It's insane.
I must have time
to think.
Well, then...
What are you doing?
This is the only way
to return you to respectability
and to give you
a chance to think.
They'll know now that
you fought for virtue's sake.
If you come to nice,
I'll be waiting.
If not, this is goodbye.
Auf Wiedersehen, dear.
I love you.
Help. Help. Help!
Here she is!
Here she is!
Teri!
Oh, you poor thing,
trussed up like a chicken!
Get me out of here
quickly.
Which way did he go?
- Through the window.
- Through the window!
Can you give me
a description?
Yes. Yes, of course.
He wore a brown,
leather coat,
red scarf,
and green spectacles.
- And short and fat!
- Yes.
Thank you.
We'll have him in no time!
Oh, dear, I'm sorry.
Don't worry, baroness.
I'll get him!
Leave it to Lenz.
There he is!
I'll get him!
There he is!
Now go ahead!
- They've got him!
- Where? Where?
In the courtyard!
Teri, he got away again.
But we'll get him.
I hope it's been
a lesson to you.
Oh, it has been.
My nerves are shattered,
simply shattered.
I must get away
for a long rest at once.
I think I'll go to nice.
Yes, nice.
Nice.
On the first possible train.
Jewel Robbery (1932)
Moderator: Maskath3