01x06 - Monsters Don't Dance / Gone Shopping

[bunniefuu]

( Clock chiming, thunderclap )

( Creaking )

( Owl hooting )

( Shrieking )

( Crying )

( Gasps )

( Screaming )

You blowhards!

[Captioning sponsored

By nickelodeon

And the u.s. Departmen

Of education]

( Needle scratching record )

( Chuckles )

Man:

No, no, no,

Not the lizards.

How many times

Do I have to tell you?

Lizard out, murray in.

Murray's coming

And he puts out lizards.

Why did I hire you?

Sorry, dad.

Ugly.

Quite sad,

Actually.

This is what human girls

Choose to look like?

Why would anyone

Want smooth skin

And all their

Fingers and toes?

Krumm:

Well, let's go

Outside and scare 'em.

( Cackling )

( Growling )

Ah

Announcer:

Ladies and gentlemen

Boys and girls, the moment

You've all been waiting for.

It's murray!

( Kissing )

( Crowd cheering )

( Laughing )

( Cooing )

Shocking!

I can't believe

They're making him do this.

He's like a puppet on a string.

He's not even

Trying to scare them.

They like him.

I know.

He's making them

Happy-- ooh.

Captured by humans

And forced to do

These humiliating tricks.

Boy, I couldn't do that.

Could you do that?

No!

( Screaming )

All:

Whee!

This is outrageous.

I know.

No chewy center.

Be serious, krumm.

They have made

This pathetic unfortunate

Into a laughingstock, a buffoon

A mere plaything

For their amusement.

Hey!

( Growling )

( Laughing )

Look, mommy.

He glows when you squeeze him.

Can I have him?

Didn't I just buy you

A murray the monster doll?

But I want him!

Man:

Hey, kids, what does

Murray the monster say?

Monsters are people, too!

That's right.

Monsters are people, too.

Hey, are monsters scary?

No!

But you know what?

Murray is a little sad.

( Crying )

Why? Because little

Baby murray monsters

Are trapped

Somewhere in this store.

They want to get out

And find a good home.

Do you know how

You can save them?

How?

By telling your mommy and daddy

To buy you a murray doll.

And if they don't, cry

Really loud until they do.

( Cheering )

We have got to save him.

Oh, sure.

Us against all of them.

We can't just leave him.

He could die up here.

Besides, think of

What heroes we would be.

Why, they'll give us medals.

Medals?

Mmm I love lead.

Ah, kids.

Why are they always so

Short?

The things I do for money.

I like big cars.

It's quiet and comfortable.

Elegantly understated.

Krumm:

Popular guy.

This is serious.

He has been

Photographed.

At least they

Got his bad side.

We've got to do something.

If humans are not afraid of him

They could lose

Their fear of all monsters.

Then where would we be?

( Cameras clicking )

( Kids cheering )

( Kids cheering )

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you, boys and girls.

Hope you're ready

For a good time

Because on today's show

We're going to learn how to

Shop.

Uh-huh, uh-huh

Yeah.

But first, a new monster tune

Called "even though

You've got flaky skin

You're a-peeling to me."

Yeah, uh-huh, uh-huh.

( Giggling )

And now, it's lunch with murray.

So get out your

Murray plates, murray cups

And put on your murray hats

Your murray buttons,

Your murray shoes

Your underwear,

Your murray underwear.

Uh-huh, uh-huh

( Laughing )

Don't be scared

Don't be blue

If you see

A monster, just say

All:

"Coochie-coochie coo."

Remember, kids.

Monsters are people, too.

Blasphemy!

He's a traitor.

He needs a good snorching.

Maybe he has been brainwashed.

Maybe he's told

Them where we live.

Maybe we should panic.

Okay, here is what we have.

Two principal points of entry:

The heating duct, the toilet.

The toilet is a problem

Because the main intake valve is

In the boiler room, so I say--

Man:

Hey! You kids

Must be the winners

Of the costume contest.

Murray wanted you

To wait inside.

( Whistling )

Okay, murray, it's over.

You're coming with us.

Hey, who let you kids--

( Groaning )

( All grunting )

They did feed this fellow.

Push!

Stuff him in.

Maybe if we flush his head firs

The rest will follow.

Quick, help me.

He shed his head.

No, he's changing into a human.

( Shrieking )

He is a human!

( Screams )

Ooh, I touched him.

At least we

Can get out of here.

You must be joking.

This imposter is spreading

Love and happiness everywhere

And he must be stopped!

You thinking what I'm thinking?

Allow me.

Krumm:

A nightmare.

( Giggling )

Aren't you supposed

To use two fingers?

That is exactly why you

Give inferior nightmares.

Oh

( Moaning ):

Oh, oh

Krumm.

Oh.

I love my work.

( Sloshing )

Hey, kids, bet you can'

Wait to get a murray doll.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

I hate those things.

They're stupid.

Girl:

I hate him, too.

I want a refund.

( Chanting ):

Refund, refund, refund

Refund, refund

Refund, refund,

Refund, refund

( Shrieking )

( Gasping )

( Sighing )

( Screaming )

Who, who who are you?

We are monsters.

And we're not people, too.

You have been

Giving monsters a bad name.

There will no longer be

A murray the monster.

You're quitting the show.

But what about all my kids?

And all my money?

It's over, mur.

Yeah, mur.

So, remember, I'll be

Keeping an eye on you.

( Giggling )

( Screaming )

( Screaming )

Whoa, what happened?

Boy, what a nightmare.

How did I get here?

( Cheering )

Mommy, I wan

Lips like that.

Excuse me, but where

Did you buy your ugly lips?

Darling, you do

Not buy ugly.

You inherit it.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Don't be scared

Don't be blue

If you see

A monster, just say

All:

"Coochie-coochie coo."

Uh-huh.

So, boys and girls

Have a heart and give

A baby murray doll a home.

And while you're at I

Make your baby murray doll happy

By buying him a murray hat,

A murray t-shir

A murray lunch pail,

A murray thermos.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

We must do something.

The nightmares did not work.

I told you to use two fingers.

Don't start.

( Squeaking )

Hey, kids, it's time

To look under the bed.

Uh-huh

Uh-huh.

( Growling )

( Kids cheering )

( Laughing )

Look who I found.

And I think he

Wants to sing a song.

( Gasping )

( Shrieking )

Run! Run for your lives!

There are monsters

On the stage!

Horrible, scary,

Smelly, real monsters!

( Murray screaming )

( Giggling )

Store owner:

No, no, no, not murray.

That guy's washed up.

How many times

Do I have to tell you?

Murray out, frogs in.

Why did I hire you?

Sorry, mr. Meyers.

Uh-huh.

( Beeps)

Man over loudspeaker:

Attention, shoppers

Valley view mall

Will close in five minutes.

Please, the store

Is closing.

Do you wan

The crystal or not?

Mm, gee, I don't know.

Why is it so expensive?

It's very special.

Look into the crystal

And you'll see

The depths of your very soul.

Oh.

( Screaming )

Monsters!

( Chuckles )

That was fun.

Monsters!

Hey! No running in the mall!

Man:

Hello

Could I have your

Attention over here?

Yeah.

Anyway, the new security system

Is totally state-of-the-art.

So try no

To get in its way.

State-of-the-art?

State-of-the-art?

( Scoffs )

Can your state-of-the-ar

Security system

Put an immediate stop

To horseplay on the escalators?

Just keep your eyes open.

The security system is good

But I don't wan

To take any chances.

Three burglaries

In a month is enough.

Don't you worry.

I've got it covered.

There's not a man

Alive who's going

To get by this

Rent-a-cop.

There's our way out.

Come on.

( Gasps )

It's wondrous.

Oblina, come on.

What's she doing?

I don't know.

Will you come on?

We just can't--

It's

Wo

What?

Wondrous.

Wow.

Make sure you activate

The system after I leave.

Oh, and let the dogs go, too.

Oh, yeah, sure.

After I leave, you moron!

Oh.

Hey! No running in the mall!

Darn dogs.

( Snoring )

Ickis:

The lava lamp 2000.

It's

It's

It's

There are no words.

It is beyond our comprehension.

It reminds me

Of my mother.

I feel warm all over.

( Growling )

Dogs!

( Growling )

( Panting )

( Screaming )

( Gasping )

Here, use me.

( Squealing )

Oh.

That was close.

Tell me about it.

Where are we?

Far away from

The lahmp.

The "lahmp"?

The lamp.

Oh

The lamp.

But how do we get past them?

We canno

Leave without it.

( Barking )

( Snarling )

( Hissing )

Do something!

I just did!

They're getting closer.

( Growling )

Why are

We stopping?

This is bad.

Real bad.

That's it, I've had it.

( Yelling )

Well, it's been

Great knowing you guys.

Guys?

( Screams )

( Snarling )

Oblina:

Come on!

Let's find

The lahmp.

( Dogs whimpering )

How'd you know how to do that?

Well, I once ate

A spaghetti western.

Yes.

Get along, little doggies.

( Chuckles )

Krumm, wha

Are you doing?

This ought to fix their wagon.

Here you go, little doggies.

They'll never get it now.

( Laughing )

( Jingle bells ringing )

Krumm!

Get me down, I hate heights.

What are we going to do?

He's all the way up there

And we're all

The way down here--

Ickis, get a grip.

Sorry.

Do not move,

We will get you down.

Unless monsters

Have learned to fly

We are in big trouble.

( Screams )

Don't be such a baby, just jump.

I'm not having fun here.

( Whimpering )

Yike!

( Screaming )

No running in the mall.

( Snorting )

Thanks.

Not at all.

You know, I could have

Been severely bruised.

Don't be ridiculous.

You're in more jeopardy

Standing here than up there.

Oh, really?

Well, I just don't think--

Ouch.

Bummer.

I'm telling you, I have

No feeling in my right claw.

I will be

You'd feel better

If you were near the lahmp.

I bet I would.

( Gasping )

That human is taking our lahmp!

Well, he can't have it.

What say we scare him

So he'll sleep with the lights

On for the rest of his life?

( Chuckling ):

Yeah.

( Squeaking and snorting )

( Snarling )

( Screaming )

( Gasps )

The lahmp.

The lamp.

The lamp.

Monsters.

Monsters.

Hey.

Please, please,

You got to take me in.

Lock me up where it's safe.

( Siren blaring )

What the--

Great job, hal

You caught the burglar.

Burglar?

We've been after

This guy for months.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Burglar.

I caught the burglar.

Monsters!

I'm telling you,

They were here.

Yeah.

We all struggle

With our own monsters.

Don't you worry, son.

A few years in one of our fine

Maximum security prisons

And you'll feel much better.

( Bells jingling )

What the--

Hey! No running in the mall!

Darn dogs.

Hal, as manager

Of this mall

I couldn't be prouder.

Well, bob, I

How'd you catch him?

Ah, it was no big deal.

And so I'd like to present you

With this token of appreciation

For your fine work.

Thank you.

What a fine

Thing this is.

Yeesh.

All:

Ah

Mm

( Chuckles )

Mom.