01x11 - H-2 Whoa/Fancy Prance

[bunniefuu]

♪ A-a-a-angry beavers ♪

♪ Beavers. ♪

Yow!

( Can-can music playing )

Sacre bleu!

( French accent ):
this is the worstest haircut
I have had in all my life.

Mon-sewer!

Please vait.

I still must apply
this styling mousse-ay.

Ooh, norb.

I'm hanging up my smock
on being a poodle groomer.

There goes my lifelong dream.

Au contraire, mon frere.

It wasn't just your
lifelong dream

It was your 1,000th
lifelong dream this week.

I may have a new lifelong dream

Every couple seconds

But at least I have one.

You're nothing but a pathetic,
dreamless rodent.

For your informacion,
poodle boy

I have a lifelong dream, too.

A big dream!

Really?
What is it?

I've never told anybody,
and I'm not telling you.

Fine, I'll just wheedle it
out of you.

Fat chance.

Oh, yeah?

Wheedle, wheedle,
wheedle, wheedle

Wheedle, wheedle.

Wheedle, wheedle

Wheedle, wheedle,
wheedle.

Wheedle, wheedle.

Wheedle.

Wheedle.

Wheedle, wheedle,
wheedle

Wheedle, wheedle,
wheedle, wheedle

Wheedle, wheedle, wheedle
wheedle, wheedle

( While snoring ):
wheedle, wheedle

Wheedle, wheedle

Wheedle, wheedle,
wheedle, wheedle...

All right! I'll tell you!

( Giggling )

My lifelong dream
is to become...

A lipizzaner stallion.

Silly, huh?

No, it's the coolest thing

I've ever heard.

What is it?

The lipizzaner stallions

Are the famous
viennese leaping showhorses.

( Doors creaking )

( Regal march music )

What the...

Where did this
come from?

At their exclusive school
in vienna, austria

The lipizzaners
keep alive

A centuries-old tradition
of fancy riding.

Oh, and the way
they prance!

( "William tell overture"
plays )

Oh...

( Grunts )

I think you should
go for it.

( Gruffly ):
all aboard.

Will's bus ine
forpawhuska

Milwaukee and vienna.

I'll do it!

Wish me luck,
you big goof.

I'll do better than that.

I'm coming along with you.

I have a new lifelong dream.

To be the crusty
but lovable trainer

For the little guy who's going
for his lifelong dream.

Yeah, see?

( Bells tolling )

( Weakly ):
that was nuts.

Norbert:
"lipizzaner stallion school.

Try-outs this week."

Man:
I am horsery sergeant goonther.

So, you want to be lipizzaners?

You don't look
like lipizzaners to me.

You look like a bunch
of lollygaggers.

This is what
lipizzaners look like.

( Horse neighs )

Goonther:
if you can handle that

Here's one more thing
to think about:

To become a lipizzaner

You will have to do
the leap of the goat

With a big-boned tuba player
on your back.

( Horse blows )

( Horse whinnies )

Oh, what kind of dillydallying
sillysallying lollygagger

Do we have here?

I'm norbert, a beaver, sir.

What makes you think a beaver

Can join my beloved
lipizzaners?

Just going after
my lifelong dream, sir.

Okay, beaver,
show us what you've got.

( Nickers )

( All neigh )

Halt!

Not bad

But how are you
with a rider?

( Moans )

Now, let's see
the leap of the goat.

You got spunk,
but that's not enough.

Why don't you give up

And admit you'll never be
anything but a lollygagger?

Scratch one lifelong dream.

Let's go home.

You ain't going nowhere.

In the old days

We had special training
techniques.

We'll show them
a thing or two, see?

What old days?

Daggett:
okay, boys.

And a one and a two and...

( Singing )

Sing it, boys.
La-da-da, la-da-da.

( Music stops )

( Grunting )

Move!

Move!

( Bell rings )

Aw, jeez, that had to hurt.

Listen up,
palooka.

The old-time way
we built strength

Was rhino wrestling.

( Bell rings )

Take down the head

And the body will follow, see?

( Booms and crashes )

Okay, pug.

Probably the hardest

Of the old-time
training techniques

Was learning grace, see?

We do an interpretive dance

And drink soup without tripping,
slurping or belching, see?

Hit it, sister.

( Plays mid-tempo melody )

You're a tree.

You're an amoeba.

You're injustice.

( Slurping )

( Belches )

Let's try it again.

Move it, horsie boy,
go faster.

Go faster, go faster.

( Grunting )

Move it, horsie boy,
move it, move it, faster.

( Moaning )

( Booms and crashes )

Move it,
it's called running.

( Booms and crashes )

That's it,
horsie boy, faster.

Goonther:
this is it!

The big test.

You've worked six long weeks
to get here.

Some of you lollygaggers
will not make it.

Pass your test,
and you become

One of the few, the proud,
the lipizzaner.

( Crowd cheers )

Who wants to go first?

I will, sir.

You? You are
the most useless

Sad, sorry, maggoty
lollygagger

Ever to prance
into this riding hall.

Why don't you
just quit

And save us
a lot of time?

Sorry, sir.

Can't do that.

Got to go
after my lifelong dream.

Then stop lollygagging
and move it.

Move, move, move.

Get with the program.

( Crowd cheers )

( Crowd applauds )

And now the moment

That separates the lipizzaners
from the lollygaggers.

The leap of the goat.

Let's see what you've got.

( Laughing )

You've got ten seconds
to get up and try again.

But I guess maybe you don't have
what it takes, do you?

You lollygagger.

Ten, nine, eight...

Well, get on your feet,
sweetheart.

Seven, six, five...

Just take your time.

We've got all day.

Four, three, two, one.

Listen, pug, I've got
one thing to say
to you, see?

Keep fighting, horsie boy?

No, give up.

No sense being
a darn fool.

Oh, you're using
a little psychology on me.

You're just telling me to quit

So I'll anticipate
the bitter sting of defeat

And find it unacceptable and
strive even harder to succeed.

Of course, eh?

Thanks, brother.

You're an inspiration.

( Tuba player grunting )

( Norbert laughing )

Man:
and so, one little beaver
named norbert

Went on to become

One of the most beloved
lipizzaners of all history.

His double kick in the leap of
the goat has never been equaled.

Meanwhile, his brother daggett

Went on to become
a target holder

A weasel polisher

A steeplejack

A roller skate
repair technician...

I tell you, dag

Nothing like an afternoon of
sun-drenched relaxification

In your own private pond.

Yeah, well, you better batten
down the old hatches, norbie

Because a tubby tidal wave
is on the way.

As daggy takes the board
for his final attempt

The fans go wild...

( Imitating cheering crowd )

Et cetera...

( Groans )

You beaver flopped us
high and dry, belly boy!

Oh, wow, did I do that?

Dag, somebody's sucking
our water!

Stop!
You spooty water!

Must...

Hang...

On!

( Clanging )

( Groaning )

Fort waterland aquatic
theme park.

Check out all the cool rides,
dag.

This place is huge!

It's... It's gigantamous!

They wrecked our
perfectly good pond

For some spooty old
water park?

( Growls )

Come on, norbie,
let's go find

The wienie-heads
who ripped off our rapids.

Uh, yeah,
right behind you, dag.

Mr. Fort spoot-face water
what's-his-butt

Is about to find out
what happens to you

When you steal beaver water
without asking.

Right, norbie?

Norbie?

Whee!

Stop! Cut it out!

Look at me, daggy

I'm a rocking logeteer!

Norbert beaver,
stop that log!

( Daggett shrieking )

Whoo!

( Laughing... )

That was splash-tabulous!

( Snorting angrily )

How could you?

We are here to get back
our pilfer-ed pond water

Not to go on rides!

No matter how fun...

And cool...

And fast...

Or exciting?

Or exciting...
And neato...

And totally way cool
big-time fun they may be!

( Giggling, screaming... )

Norbert:
yeah!

( Both shrieking in joy )

Let's go again.

Nah, that's it for me.

Let's get our water
and head home.

Go home?

Now?

But norbie,
the rides are so cool.

The first 50 times.

Now they're
just boring.

You can stay
if you want

But I'm out
of here.

Bu... Bu... Bu... But wait!

What if someone could
take the boringness

Out of the coolness
the rides used to have?

Then he would just have
the... Coolness.

Precisely, brother.

And when you add
some biggerness to it...

( Laughing goofily )

And s-some scarierness...

And fasterness...

And more scarierness...

And more scarierness...

( Both laugh )

You get a bigger, faster,
scarier, mondo cool ride

With no boringness
whatsoever!

( Both laughing )

( Saw buzzing... )

( Saw buzzing... )

( Coughing and wheezing )

( Grunting angrily )

( Crunch, grunt )

( Sighs )

Both:
the beaver brothers'
flash flood of mayhem!

Ready, co-pilot daggy?

Roger, righty, ready-o,
fellow co-pilot norbert.

On my mark.

Five, four, three, two...

This is the one!

Blast off!

( Rumbling... )

( Screaming and yelling... )

Oh, god...!

( Screaming and yelling... )

( Laughing and yelling... )

( Panting and laughing... )

Ah...

I tell you...

We have created

A certified
mavelicious masterpiece.

( Panting and snorting )

Too bad we have to
wreck it

By taking our water
and going home, huh?

I been doing a little
thunking on the subject.

This is our water, right?

Right.

It just happens to be in
a different place, right?

Duh. Hence the problem.

Well, correct me if I'm wrong

But this place seems to be
a lot better than our place.

Hmm...

Hmm...

Hey, norb!

I just got a great idea!

Let's live here!

You mean here?

In fort waterland?

I think that's
a great idea!

Come on.

Big hug.

Come on.

( Laughing )

Waterland, waterland,
water, water...

Whoo, whoo, whoo...

♪ La-la-la-la-la... ♪

( Both singing merrily )

Daggett:
hey, hey, look at me!

Ladies and gentlemens!

Daggett will now demonstrate
his latest invention:

The amazing elastico
hypo-flopomatic!

( Screaming )

Ker-splash.

And the crowd goes wild!

( Imitating crowd yelling )

Whoo.

( Crowd cheering )

Wow! A real crowd
and they're going wild for me.

Man on loudspeaker:
ladies and gentlemen,
fort waterland is now open!

( Cheering and yelling )

What the...

( Crowd yelling )

( Gibbering )

( Yelling and screaming... )

( Panting )

I thought you said
this was

Our own
private water park.

Look at all
these spoot-heads

Riding our rides and
wrecking our water.

Hey, you're the one
that wanted to stay.

( Panting )

Me?!

I?!

You!

Let's just admit it.

We got carried away.

We don't belong here.

It's not our home.

It's just
some spooty old water park

Full of a bunch of geekoids.

That's exactly what
I was trying to say.

What do you say we just
get our water and go home?

And how do you propose
we do that?

Mm-hmm!

( Grunting... )

( Belch )

( Screaming )

Eeh... Ow... Ow... Ow!

Boy, it sure is great
to be back in our own water

At our real home, eh, daggy?

That's easy for you to say.

You're not doing
six shows a day.

Well, it's the least
you could do, dag.

You did kind of wreck
their park.

( Panting )

Me?!

I?!

You!

Come on, splash monster.

Give the people what they want.

Beaver flop!

( Drum b*ating... )
Beaver flop! Beaver flop!

Beaver flop! Beaver flop!

Whoo, let's get it on!

( Gibbering... )

( Crowd chanting )

Yee!

( Screaming... )

( Crowd cheering... )