04x11 - The Big Frog/Dag Con Carny

[bunniefuu]

[Lively dance music playing]

♪ A-a-a-angry beavers ♪

♪ Beavers. ♪

Great party, bunny.

Yeah, delicious punch.

[Belching]

Can I have another?

You said you wanted
another punch.

[Giggling
and snorting]

Keep it down.

I'm watching tv.

Huh?

[Baby crying]

[Dog whimpering]

[Bell dinging]

Huh?

[Peaceful music playing]

[Romantic music playing]

[Pop music playing]

[Shuddering]

[Romantic music playing]

[Coughing and yelling]

[Bell dinging]

[Hypnotic music playing]

[Cheerful music playing]

♪ Bunny sardines are good ♪

♪ Crunchy like a piece
of wood ♪

♪ Bunny sardines. ♪

Aah!

That's the stupidest
thing I ever saw.

Hey, norb, come play
funny bunnies.

No, thanks.

I don't play with immature,
dumb baby toys.

Did you hear that, guys?

Sounds like
norbie poopy is
a party pooper.

Get those spooty, kiddy dolls
away from my manly self.

Duh! Come on, norbie,
party pooper.

Put on your party hat
and play with us.

Do you want our friends
seeing us

With these spootya,
embarrassing...

[Vomits]

Spootya baby-a toys?

[Belching]

It's time to lose
the stupid

Spooty, not funny
funny bunnies and grow up.

[Belches]

Do you hear me?

Grow up and lose 'em.

[Belches]

Okay.

Huh?

[Coughing
and gagging]

Dag?

Hey, what is going on?

[Grunts]

Make yourself useful, sonny.

Hold it! Hold it!

Oh... I get it.

I gave you grief
about the baby-a toys

So now you're a grown-up.

Right there, sonny.
That's perfect.

[Growling]

[Chuckling]
hey, what do you think
you're doing?

You'll spoil your dinner.

Got a nice stew fermenting.

Give me those chips.

You don't want to mess
with the big frog.

Don't you mean big dog?

And don't sass me, sonny.

Give me back those chips
right now.

Daggett!

Aah! Aah!!

Aah! Okay, that's it.

[Screams]

Five!

What a swing! Three!

Hey, cut it out!

[Whimpers]

Out of my
way, sonny.

I swing wild.

Big frog will golf
his way to work

And bring home the bacon.

[Panting]

Oh!

Guh!

Uh... Aah!

Guh!

Two!

[Panting]

Good riddance, spoot-head.

Aah!

[Groans]
I'm back!

One!

[Groans]

Yuck! What is this?

Brought home the bacon,
sonny.

Ooh, yuck!

[Groaning]

Aah!

[Screams]

[Coughing]

What the...?

Got to get the sprinkler system
installed

While there's daylight.

Get this junk out of here!

[Screeches]

[Groaning]

Hand me that
spackle crescent chisel.

Get...

Get it yoursel...

Now pull up
on the multi-wrench bracket.

[Groaning]

Give me the solid
vice grip drill.

I'll take that.
Hey!

Don't talk to strangers
without looking both ways

Or you could poke out an eye.

[Panting]

Hello? Hello?

Is anybody there?

And another thing,
mr. Hippie--

I think it's time
for a haircut.

[Screams]

My hair!

How dare you!

This is my hair,
not yours!

Everything in this nest
belongs to the big frog!

[Norbert]
it's not a dam.

No, wait a minute--
it is a dam, not a nest!

And this is my hair,
you big dumb dag frog.

I wear my hair
anywhere I please

And any way I please.

I'll grow it to my feet
if I want, frog.

That does it, sonny.

No candy for six months.

No candy?

How about I eat candy
for six months straight?

All day long!

Give me that.

You-you asked for it, sonny.

No stereo privileges
for a year.

[Salsa music playing]
did you say something, dag?
I can't hear you.

[Music continues]

[Music stops]
aah! Uh...

Oh, you're going
to your room.

You can't tell me
where to go.

You're not the boss
of me!

I'll go anywhere I want.

I'll go out all night.

I'll-i'll run away
if I want.

As long as you live
under my dam...

Get back here, sonny!

You are grounded!

I'll show him.

Stupid, dag.

Who does he think he is?
He's...

Wait a minute.

That's just dopey dag
in there, my stu-pide brother

And it's my dam!

Why am I leaving
my dam?!

Yeah, baby!

Knock off
the spooty grown-up thing, dag.

This is my dam.

Whatever you say, sonny.

Glad you're back.
Give me four.

Huh?
I did some thinking
while you were away.

I was only gone a minute.

I realized I've lost touch
with today's generation

But, hey, I can swing.

I can be a cool,
best-friend dad,

A mellow, not sputty, guy.

It's "spooty,"
not "sputty"

And you're my
spooty brother,
not my dad.

Come on, bro,

Let's groove
to the way funky polka b*at.

[Polka music playing]

Stop! You know I'm allergic
to polka.

Give the hip music
a chance to groove you.

Turn that off!
It gives me the creeps!

Stop!

Aah! Stop!

Aah! Stop it!

Rap on me-- I can relate.

Tell me what's
bumming you up.
No! No!

Get away.
Don't touch me.

Ooh!

Somebody needs a nap.

No! I don't need a nap!

Somebody needs
a time-out and a nap.

No! No time-out.
I won't do it.

I won't do anything
you say, you big dumb...

Dumb person!

Be a good boy, sonny,
and open the closet.
No.

At the count of ten, I want
this closet opened, sonny.

One...

[Cricket chirping]

Oh, open the closet, sonny!

Go away. Go away.
Go away!

Norb's not going to open
the closet

To talk to some dumb spooty dad,
so leave.

Yeah, get lost.

Well, if norb's going to be
a baby and stay in the closet,

I guess he won't be going
to our party.

Norb isn't a baby.

He just doesn't like
bossy, spooty grown-ups.

I don't see any grown-ups here.

Just somebody who told dag
to grow up.

I think that somebody
also told dag

Not to play with us bunnies.

Maybe that somebody always
liked playing with funny bunnies

But he worried what his
friends would think.

Hey, how about
that stupid show, huh?

Ain't that something?

[Sniffs]

I smell suckers.

[Giggles] norbie,
it's here! It's here!

Smelly jim's
carnival of mirthyness

Is finally here.
Did I say it was here?

I'll try to contain myself.

Where else can I get
one of these babies?

Dag, that cheap

Plastic parachute army
man cost you $75...

Don't listen, ranger.

The last time the
carnival rolled around.

Right. A bargain
at twice the price.

Let's go.

[Loud boom]

Mmm.

Fried dough on a stick--
my favorite-y!

Hey, beavers, I see
you got the eats.

Now how about
some ride tickets?

One spool, please.

That-a-boy!
Spoken like a true sport.

Pinhead.

[Loud crashing]

Smell that, norb?

Smells like fun, baby!

Ugh!

Smells like old sweat
and gasoline to me.

Come to think of it, smelly jim
was a little ripe himself.

He's so busy bringing us
carnival magic

He doesn't have time
to bathe or change his socks.

Ooh! The spinal cr*cker!

I wonder why they call it that.

[People screaming]

[Thud]

[Voice] my... Spine
is cracked.

Never mind.

Norbie, norbie,
the tunnel of fumes!

Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go!

No way, dag-gey.
Ee!

[Flushing]

[Laughing]
[groaning]

Disgusting!

I smell like gristle
and burning tires.

Hey, look! Whirley hurl!

[All screaming]

[Gagging]

I'll take the old
pass-adena.

You're right. The spanker
is so much betterer.

Come on, norb, my treat.

[Groans]

Wow, spools fly when
you're having fun.

[Over loudspeaker]
prepare to meet your doom.

Again! Again! Again, I say!

This place is the great-iest!

Looks like you mooks
could use some more tickets.

[Daggett] smelly jim.
[Coughing] [nasally]
smelly jim,

This is the bestest carnival
in the whole wide world.

Can I please join you
and travel this great land,

Taking in
wondrous sights

And living the carefree
life of a carny... Vore?

Running away to join the
carnival, eh? How original.

Thank you.

Hey, why not?

I could use
a sap, er...

Hardworking
employee like you.

Yippee!

Isn't this great, norbie?

I'm carny folk.

Sure, it's great.

Joining the carnival's
a super idea.

Your best yet.

Why don't you become
the freak show?

[Mooing]

[Neighing]

Hurry! Hurry!

Step right up, folks!

Fresh from a tour of some
countries near europe

You don't want to miss
the next performance by...

Glombus the buck-toothed
hairy freak boy!

Who wants a ticket?

Folks, I was just kidding.

Don't worry, folks.

The glombus show will start
in just a minute.

Be right back.

You pack of brain-dead mutants.

[Muttering]

Kid, you're great.

You remind me of me--
full of raw talent.

A natural born barker...

Just like a dog.

What was that last
thing you said?

Aw, nothing. Look,
you're a little rough
around the edges.

For example,
I would have said

He was just back from
a country in europe.

But I think
you've got potential.

You could be an impresario.

Impresario?

Sounds impressive.

Here's the deal--
you come work for me.

I'll take you
under my wing

And make you--
dare I say it--

My protege.

What do you say?

A protege?

Never been
a protege before.

I wouldn't literally
have to spend any more
time under your--

Your wing, would i?

You cr*ck me up.

Now get to work, protege.

Or should I say prote-jerk?

Come on, dag, let's get
ready for your show.

But norb, I thought you
didn't want me

To have anything to do
with the carnival.

That was until smelly jim
made me his protege.

Ooh, did that hurt?

No! Just means
I'm an impresario
in training.

Oh, does that hurt?

Time for some geeking
and freaking, dag-imodo.

[Screaming]

Don't be alarmed, folks.

The disgustingly-hideous-
to look at

Glombus the buck-toothed
hairy freak boy

Has the gentle demeanor
of a newborn babe.

Observe.

Ga-ga-ga-poopy.

Huh?

But be warn-ed. All I have
to do to do is step on his tail

And this mild-mannered
accident of nature
becomes

Glombus the buck-toothed
hairy beast!

[Crowd screaming]

Morons.

You were great,prote-guy.

No, you were great,
glombus!

Give me a hug.
No, don't.

You boys were
great and all that.

Big future in
show business,
etc. Etc.

But for now you've
got to pay your dues.

Lead on, boss man.
Yeah.

Lemmings.

[Maniacal laughter]

Ow! Thank you.

Ow! Thank you.

Ooh! Thank you.

Hey prote-guy, isn't it cool
that in between shows

We get to test the new rides?

I guess so. What's
this one called again?

The simp smasher.

[Both scream]

40, 50, 60...
[Screaming]

Hey there, protege,
how's things?

Being a protege
kinda hurts.

Right. Here's a quarter.
Call somebody who cares.

Huh?

I said never be afraid to
come to me with your problems.

I really care.

Thanks, smelly jim.

'Cause I've been rethinking
this whole protege thing.

Hold it right there.

I know where you're going.

And I'm going
to stop the train.

You can't quit.

Oh, boy. Whew. Is
your side as bad as mine?

Yeah, look
at the color.

When I was an impresario
protege in training

I wanted to quit every
minute of every day.

But my mentor, itchy pete
the human rash,

Wouldn't let me.

That's why I'm the success
I am today. Tough luck.

I mean, tough love, beavers.

Now get back to work.

Mouth breathers.

♪ Bury my scoop in debris
with a shove ♪

♪ It's the job for me
'cause the people love ♪

♪ Fried dough on a stick
from smelly jim ♪

♪ My name is dag and
I'm scooping for him. ♪

Ouchie baba.
Folksy work songs?

What have we come to?

Dag, stop! Don't you see?
No.

This carnival lifestyle
isn't as glamorous

As we thought it would be.
You're being used and abused

And you don't even know it.

Norb, your other head's
falling apart.

I can't straighten
another straw.

Now see here, smelly jim.

This has gone on
long enough.

Unchain us immediately.

We quit.

Yeah. See? Yeah.

We're unjoining the carnival.

Where's your glombus now?

Nobody unjoins smelly jim.

There are two kinds of people
in the world--

Losers and me.

Guess what? You ain't me.

Now get back to work or I'll
make you sleep on the whirly
hurl!

Now you wait a garn
darsh minute!

Why you waiter
girda monit--

Hold on, smelly guy!

[Police siren wails]
holy smokes! The cops!

The carnival cops!

So you thought you
lost us back there,
didn't you?

Smelly jim, I arrest you
in the name of all that
is honest and decent

About circuses, carnivals,
and roadside amusements.

You are a carbuncle
on the tip

Of our industry's
funny red nose.

Wacka wacka.

It's not my fault!
I turned bad!

I blame television!

Cable, to be specific.

Ladies and gentlemen,
don't be alarmed

By freakin' smelly jim's
rank and hideous odor.

For in reality, he is
as gentle and affectionate

As a baby polecat.

Hyah!

Ow!
Ow, ow, ow.

Oh! Ow!

Hyah!
Ow..!

[Theme music playing]

[Music ends]