04x13 - Beavemaster/Deck Poops

[bunniefuu]

( Lively dance music playing )

♪ A-a-angry beavers ♪

♪ Beavers. ♪

( Birds chirping... )

( Deep voice ):
tor, prince
of the hanna-barberians

In order to become
king of your people

Ye must travel
through time and space to...

( Dramatically ):
♪ duh-duh-dum ♪

The gates of the bad place.

Once there, ye shall do battle
with two evil, furry demons

Which guard...
♪ Duh-duh-dum! ♪
Again

The gates of the bad place.

Prepare ye for battle!

Marco!

Polo.

Marco!

Polo.

Marco!

Polo!

Marco?

Polo.
Gotcha!

Notcha!

( Grunting vigorously... )

Take ye this, the w*r hammer
whacky-whacky-smacky

Carved eons ago from the tree
of woe by the surly dwarf requa.

Use it to heartily smite
the furry demons, tor.

Where am furry demons?

( Grunts )

( Gurgling ):
marco.

Polo.

Marco.

Polo, you doofus!

Marco.

Po... Yee!

Marco.

Polo...

Hey, I can't hear you,
you cheater.

Marco!

Tor:
polo!

( Echoing ):
marco polo... Yee!

Uhh...! Furry demons.

( Both shriek )

What was
that horrible thing?

I don't know and
I don't want to know!

Hello! No can hide,
furry demons.

Tor am here to smash you.

( Both screaming... )

Fire in the hole!

Yum, yum, food for tor to chew.

I'm out of a*mo!

Go, go, go!

( Snoring )

Uh, what happened?

It was the power
of chemistry, dag!

These poppin' toasties
have enough chemicals in them
to hibernate a rhino.

Ooh... It feels like bruised
fruit in here.

Hey, how long is he supposed
to be asleep, anyway?

Ah, tubby here
should be

Unconscious for a week.

Hello!

Eee...

N-n-n-norbie!

Perhaps I was tempting fate
when I said that.

Where am furry demons, where?

( Groaning... )

Hold on, daggie!

( Grunting )

( Burps loudly )

( Muffled cries )

( Sniffs )

Ee-pa!

( Grunting, crashing... )

Eww, I'm all linty.

Now tor smash!

Then tor go eat beans.

Why tor want smash nice beavers
do tor want?

You speak his language?

Yes, I speak halting english
fluently.

Shiny-head man tell prince tor
to smash furry demons

So tor can go home
and be some king.

Oh, it all becomes so clear.

Do you have dandruff?

Sure, we all do!

That's why i...

( Groaning )

Shiny magic box lie!

( Grunting )

Now's our chance, dag!

Run!

Tor smash furry demons.

Tor smash.

Tor smash if on land.

Tor smash tor, I guess.

Yes!

Dag!

I guess that's the last
we'll see of him.

Why do I feel like you
shouldn't haven't said...

What?

That.

Hello!

Both:
eee!

( "Waltz of the flowers"
playing... )

( Both scream )

( Music continues... )

Furry demons tickle
tor's toesies.

( Tor laughing... )

Oh-oh.

Big rocks.

( Grunting... )

( Both laughing )

He was pretty stupid, huh?

He's miles away by now.

Yeah, this time i,
I really think that's
the last we'll see of him.

Hello!

This time was definitely
your fault.

I freely admit that.

Look out!

Tor smash!

Where am furry demons, huh?

( Both groaning )

Both:
yee...!

( Grunting )

Now what?

I've got an idea.

It's amazing that we
could build this
in just 30 seconds.

We're beavers!

Okay, dag,
say the magic words.

Okay...
( Clear throat )

All right, come on,
bring it, bring it.

Ooh... That's the last
we'll see of him!

( Rumbling )

Hello!

( Both screaming... )

Tor smash!

Buh-bye!

All righty.
We will see you around.

Good luck.

Buh-bye.

Well, norb...

I definitely think
that's the last...

Don't... You... Say it.

Don't say a word.

What? All I was
going to say

Was that's the last
we'll see of him.

Hello!

What kind of
a gummed-up brain

Do you have?

The best kind.

( Both screaming )

Furry demons make tor
go fly-fly like pretty bird.

Now tor smash!

Oh-oh.

( Grunts )

I can't believe
he fell for that.

It was my plan and even I
didn't think he'd fall for it.

Poor dumb tor.

( Clears throat )

Ahem... Mmm.

Here lies tor.

A big, blubbery doofus
who tried to smash us

Yea, though he tried
to smash us

And got crushed
for his troubleth.

Anything you'd like
to add, norb?

You know,
there is one thing.

What's that?

Both:
that's the last
we'll ever see of him.

Hello!

( Both scream )

No worry, furry demons.

This not hurt too much.

It like going to sleep
with hammer on you head.

Oh, well, if it's not
going to hurt then...

Tor smash you quick
with magic hammer
carved from tree of woe!

Wait a sec.

Tree of woe?

That thing's made of wood.

Tor give you good look.

Hey, what's up?

Hi, guy.

( Grunts )

( Grunting )

More tree of woe?

No, thank you, kind sir.

I'm full of woe.

Shiny head man!

Tor am to be needing you now.

Shiny head man come.

Him fix you wagon.

Tor, have you defeated
the evil, furry demons?

Furry demons have beaten
prince tor good and plenty.

Demons eated tor's hammer!

( Grunts )

( High-pitched voice ):
tor, these aren't
evil, furry demons.

They're...
They're pointy weasel thingies.

We are beavers.

You see, tor?

Those are the evil,
furry demons

You must defeat
in order to become king!

Them look tough.

Tor not in mood to be king
no more.

Moods are a thing for cattle...

And lovebirds.

Moods are not
for warrior kings.

Get ye them to that there
gates of the bad place
and fight those demons!

No. You hurt tor's feelings.

You go fight furry demons.

No! ( Screams )

Ahh!

( Screaming... )

Ooh.

( Screaming continues, fades )

Wow, that's a deep hole.

I'm not finished,
I just ran out of breath!

( Screaming continues, fades )

( Sighs )

Holy mackerel.

You done?

( Short scream )

( Grunting and gasping )

Aw, no worry,
tor know you not furry demons.

You soft water bunnies.

You so soft.

Tor love you and hug you
and be your best friend.

What about
your old best friend?

You could probably
still catch him.

Who, shiny head man?

That's last
we ever see of him.

Both:
no!

( Whirring )

Tor not supposed to
say that, huh?

( Howl, snarling )

( All grunting and yelling... )

( Crashing, dag screaming )

Dag? Daggie-waggie?

Come on, brotherkins.

I didn't mean for the bad
old bug to get on you.

Calm down, stop spitting.

It's over now.

Unlock the doorsie-woorsie
and let me innie-winnie.

No.

Come on.

Not until you get rid of that,
that, that thing!

Dag, it's just an eensy-beensy
pookeepsy little bug.

Yeah, right.

Okay, all right, dag.

I'll let the little guy go.

I'm going now to let
the little guy go.

I'm letting him go now!

He's let go!

I'm free, I'm...

Happy now, dag?

Can I come back in now?

Dag?

Just because I accidentally let
a stupid bug get on you

You have to move away?

With everything?

( Grumbles )

( Sighs )

Well...

At least he's an easy brother
to follow.

( Applause )

Look! It's rikki devermin!

Hi, rikki, honey!

( Sinatra voice ):
♪ I'm a rat, ho, ho ♪

♪ As they say, that is that ♪

♪ But it's a natural fact ♪

♪ I'm a river rat-ta... Ho! ♪

♪ I take things... ♪
Indeed I do.

♪ On a dare and a fling ♪

♪ What I find appealing ♪

♪ Is mine for the stealing ♪

♪ Oh, those smart
scholar types ♪

♪ Say what you want and need ♪

♪ Two ideas ♪

♪ That never meet... ♪

Oh, they say they don't meet
and, eh, they're the scholars.

♪ But I tell you, ho! ♪

♪ I'm here to say ♪

♪ No matter want or need ♪

♪ I gotta be the way. ♪

Hey, manicotti,
paisan, come on.

( Dean martin voice ):
who's calling?

Dismount and
join the elite
in the cheap seats.

I'll be there thursday.

♪ I got what you got... ♪

Oh, do you now?

♪ And I have
what you have not... ♪

You got what I don't?

♪ You don't have
what I have got ♪

♪ That's why I get,
I got, you had ♪

♪ You have not... ♪

Ooh, go, baby, go.

♪ Ooh, you have,
has, had... ♪

Huh?

♪ You had a lot... ♪

Now I'm confusticated.

♪ You get, got, give... ♪

Who... They... Got?

♪ You gave what you got ♪

Oh, that's sweet.

♪ I got you by the seat
of your pants. ♪

( Cheering and applause )

Well, if it isn't
our old pally ratatatat.

Rikki:
hey, ratatinkle.

Look at the work.

Hurt me.

Yeah, he's hurting.

Ooh.

Oh, that's dangerous.

( Sammy davis, jr.,
Voice ):
dig it.

What gives with the crazy
woodland structure, man?

It's worth zero.

Rikki:
I was nostalgic
for the old days.

Kicky, man.
What gives?

Our newly acquired
wooden structure

Came with a few
unexpected accessories.

( Dag humming )

Ratatatat:
I thought
prisoner cats

Were supposed
to hate rowing.

Manicotti:
maybe something's
wrong with him.

Could be a dislocated
medulla oblongata.

Norbert:
ahoy! There on
the big bo-at!

My... My name is norbert.

I'm... I'm a beaver.

( Snaps fingers )

I notice you have something
that belongs to me... My house.

You have my house.

( Cannon fires )

Oof...

( Rats laughing )

Oh, geez.

Norbert:
ahoy again.

Oh, g... Oh, what?

Norbert:
i, uh...

I guess there was some, uh...

Some sort of misunderstanding.

Is there another beaver
on board?

Yes, he's our prisoner.

He's down below
and happily rowing.

( Thinking ):
a prisoner and happily rowing.

It's daggett, all right.

Manicotti:
is there something wrong
with him?

Norbert:
yes.

Poo-poo heads!

So, um, what say

I take my house
and idiot brother

Off your hands?

( Cannon fires )

Gah...

( Cannon continues f*ring )

Hmm... Rowing for ding-bats.

( Chuckles )

( Norbert cries out )

( Laughter and music... )

( Grunts )

Eee.

Eee.

Eee.

Norbert:
raise the oar.

Raise... The... Oar!

Right-o.

Eee.

Daggett!

Gah!

What... Do you think
you're doing?

Eee.

Rowing.
( Chuckles )

Do you realize
you're a prisoner

And our dam's been stolen
by a bunch of germ-carrying
vermine?

Wow.

I was blown up repeatedly
trying to save you.

Well, that's what you get
for putting bugs on me.

As I look back, i...

Forget about the bugs
already!

Now, we're going to ecscape
and get our dam back!

What do you say?

Hey, what are your
thoughts on rowing?

It changed my life.

Here... Feel that.

Ooh...!

( Rooster crows )

( Hiccup, belch )

Ratatatat:
hey, you crazy cats.

The lame one
is splitsville, baby.

Made tracks,
vamoosed, man.

Gee, who, uh...
Hey, rat, cool down,
several times.

Yeah, at ease, my friend.

We still got
the g... G... Stuff.

He's gassy.

But he's right.

What do a couple
of weak-kneed beavers

Mean to us, huh, huh?

Beavers:
oh, rat guys!

Ahoyez-vous!

Dag, before it's all over,
i, I wanted you to have this.

It's not
a daddy longlegs,
is it?

Dag, at a time
like this?

Oh, you're right.

I'm sorry.

Come on...

Ahh...
( Shrieking )

Youse guys
is about to find out

What it means to mess
with beavers! Ba-bum.

( Dag shrieking
and jabbering... )

Hey, man, maybe we're about
to find all the way out.

Youse two take care
of that maniac!

( Grunting and yelling )

You!

We both know
this will only end

When it's finished.

( Laughs )

Please, please, I prefer
a gentleman's w*apon.

( Dag shrieking... )

Crazy, man.

Yeah, there be
no doubt about it.

( Shrieking continues... )

Well, I'll be
seeing you, pallies.

Dig it, man.

Both:
yee...

Yeah, baby.

( Grunting )

Do you surrender,
viley vermin?

( Grunting and panting )

Yes, yes, yes, I surrender.

Too late!

Oh! Ouch! Ow!

Should have
given up faster.

Oh!

Enough of this.

Now we'll fight my way.

Like a rat.

Eee!

Gulp.

( Shrieking )

Huh? Who the...?

Oh, boy... That's bad...

Ow... That's hurting.

Oh, geez.

( Panting )

I... Hate... Daddy... Longlegs.

( Gasps )

Norbert:
row well and live it up,
gentlemen.

We should be home
by morning.

And youse guys can put
our dam right back

From whence you stoled it,
dig?

Isn't that right, captain?

Aye-aye, guy.

Right, guys?

Hit it!

♪ We're going home ♪

♪ We're going home ♪

♪ Back to the pond ♪

♪ Back where we belong ♪

♪ Down the river ♪

♪ Cross the sea ♪

♪ Wait, too far! ♪

♪ Back across the sea ♪

♪ The beavers return, return ♪

♪ Their dam in tow ♪

♪ With insect friends ♪

♪ Chained rats below ♪

♪ Yo-ho, yo-ho,
back to the pond ♪

♪ Back where we belong... ♪

Daggett:
♪ long... ♪

Norbert:
dag.

Dag, it's over!

Eee.

Rikki:
oh, I hate that cuckoo,
nutsy long-haired music.