02x06 - The Monster Who Came in from the Cold/Puppy Ciao

[bunniefuu]

( Clock chiming, thunderclap )

( Creaking )

( Owl hooting )

( Shrieking )

( Crying )

( Gasps )

( Screaming )

Look human to me!

( Needle scratching record )

( Chuckles )

( Belches )

Good morning,
my little pus-pilots.

We have a very
special guest today.

All the way from our sister dump
at cape canaveral

Dr. Buzz cut!

Gromble, students

I work at masa

The monster aboveground
suit administration.

All:
ooh!

( All gasp )

This is not a real human.

It's merely a simulation,
a vehicle, if you will.

It will allow monsters to spy
on the human world undetected;

Enhance our
fright technology

And create
mutual parity

In our fight against human
plans for world domination.

Eh, heh, heh...

And I have been asked
to choose my very best student

To be the first
to test the human suit.

The winner is...

Oblina.

Oh, me!

( Monsters cheering )

Thank you!

Come, come, oblina.

It's training time.

( Screaming )

( Sighs )

You're positive this
is your best student?

( Gagging )

Don't worry.

The suit's monster-age
insular polymer bonding

Will protect you

From human vitamins
and minerals.

Blech!

We're still working

On taste.

Don't!

That's... Soap.

Okay, oblina.

Now, open your eyes.

No, no, no, no!

No matter
how disgusting humans seem

You must suppress
your natural urge to scare.

Alas, I've taught her too well.

Pinky up.
( Slurping )

( All sigh in relief )

Here, oblina.

In case
you get hungry.

Why, thank you, krumm.

Icky, are you all right?

Me? I'm fine.

Buzz cut ( over loudspeaker ):
ten...

No, don't go!
Nine...

I'm never gonna see you again!
Eight...

What am I gonna do
without you?

( Sobbing )
seven...

Please, bleenie
six...

Get out while you can!
Five...

Four...

Ickis, let go of me!

Three...

Two...

Ickis!

One...

Blast-off!

( Oblina screaming )

( Quietly ):
wow.

( Screaming )

( Grunts )

Dump control,
oblina has landed.

( Monsters cheering )

Yes, yes, yes!

Excellent.

Proceed to

The yellow mover coordinate
as planned.

Seat's taken.

Saved.

Hi, you must be new.
I'm frieda.

Oblina.

That's a strange name.

Where are you from?

Uh... Down.

Down... Town.

Downtown.

( Monsters sighing )

Hey!

That was utterly
uncalled for.

That's stan.

He must really
like you.

Take note how humans
express love

By administering pain.

( Bell ringing )

Aren't you going
to eat your lunch?

Oh!

Yum.

( Slurping )

Ow, you guys!

Come on, ow!

Leave him alone, mick and rick.

That means they like him,
does it not?

Hey, you talk funny.

What are you,
a foreigner?

You guys,
that's not very nice.

What are you going
to do about it

Stan the man?

Pick on someone
your own species.

( Growling )

( Siren blaring )

( All growling )

Negative,
do not engage in scaring.

I repeat,
do not scare.

Food fight!

( All yelling )

Humans behaving
just like monsters.

Oblina, take evasive action.

What?

All:
duck!

( Bell ringing )

( Children laughing )

You have just completed
a full day at school.

What exactly
do you do next?

Both:
we're going
to wacky world!

Here.

I love this ride.
It's so scary.

( Frieda and stan yelling )

Tell me, frieda, do you
find this enjoyable?

( Screaming )

Uh, that's a yes.

Oh, that was great.

I thought I was
going to die.

( Weakly ):
I feel sick.

Stan and frieda:
let's do it again!

Under certain conditions

Humans apparently like
being scared and sickened.

Nausea equals fun,
just as love equals pain.

Monsters:
"love equals pain.

Nausea equals fun."

Come on, I have you, I have you!

( Machines beeping )

( Grunting )

She's becoming overstimulated.

I'm getting
a little dizzy.

Aren't we
having fun yet?

Oblina, want some?

Ooh, fiberglass insulation!

My favorite!

( Cries out )

( Stan and frieda screaming )

( Chuckling )

Dr. Cut, I hope

You don't think me presumptuous
if I ask

( Shouting ):
what is going on?

We've lost contact
with the subject!

"Subject," I see.

Just a point of information
if I may, doctor.

That's no subject,
that's my monster!

( With altered voice ):
ickis... Krumm...

Welcome to my world.

Come on, oblina.
It's time to go home.

Home?

Why, ickis, I am home.

( Buzzing )

( Cries out )

This has to be
the wackiest place on earth.

Quickly, cut,
get her out of
that thing!

It requires a delicate touch.

It could take days.

( Fabric ripping )

Or... Maybe seconds.

( Sobbing ):
oblina, speak to me!

What a dump.

Oblina, you're not human,
you're a monster--

That's basic.

I tried to make that very clear
the first day of class.

It's no use, gromble.

There's only one alternative:

Deprogramming.

( Both gasp )

( Whistling )

( Shouts )

Narrator:
monster versus human:

The age-old struggle.

A struggle the monster
always wins.

( Roaring )

( Screaming )

Stop!

Lies, lies, all lies!

( Groaning )

( Grunting )

Get away from me!

I must have pure, refined sugar.

Sorry, boys

But you left me
no choice.

Oblina, untie us!

I hope one day
you'll understand.

I realize now I have
always been a human

Trapped in a monster's body!

I must be free--

Free to be
with my own kind

In my natural habitat.

( Gasping ):
oblina.

If I wasn't in this chair...

Ah, but you are
in the chair, ickis.

You are
in the chair.

Ha!

( Crying ):
oblina, oblina, come back!

Come back!

Little oblina.

Oblina:
fellow humans,
please do not be afraid.

I know I may look a bit odd
but really, I am one of you.

Really I am.

Leave him alone

Mick and rick.

Seat's taken.

Saved.

Hey, you talk funny.

Negative,
do not engage in scaring.

Food fight!

We're going to wacky world!

You're not human,
you're a monster.

Do not engage in scaring.

You're a monster.

Monster.

Monster.

I'm never gonna see you again.

What am I gonna do without you?

( Crying )

Boy ( taunting ):
* nah-nah, na-na-nah

* Nah-nah, na-na-nah

* Nah-nah,
na-na-nah *

Stan:
give it back!

I'd like
to see you make me.

Oblina:
where I come from
we have an expression

For humans like you.

We call it "gutless."

( Boys screaming )

Uh, thanks.

( Both screaming )

Psst!

Icky! Krummy!

Did you see that scare?

Yes, oblina.

Yes, yes, you are
still the best.

I've never felt more monstrous.

Oblina, do you like
my stench?

( Sniffing )

Hmm, seems a bit weak today.

Both:
she's back!

Oh, mmm...

( Smacking )

Oblina:
this way.

( All gasp )

( Fearfully ):
okay, everything
will be just fine

As long as nobody
makes any sudden moves.

( Barks )

( Screaming )

( Barks )

( Panting )

( Barking )

Looky, we can escape
through there.

( Panting )

Come on, ickis.

No!

I can't do it, krumm.

I can't!

I'm holding you back.

Go ahead without me.

( Barking )

Hurry up.

Just follow me.

No, no!

Where is ickis?

Uh, he's right behind me.

( Whining )

( Horn honking )

( Mumbling )

( Giggling )

( Laughing )

Stop it, stop it!

I hate to break up
this tender moment, ickis

But we should be on our way.

I want to take him back with us.

Can I keep him?

You mean
take him back to school?

Come now, ickis.

He is a very dangerous
"bark and bite."

Dangerous? He saved my life.

( Buzzing )hmm.

Mmm.

Good fleas.

No, it is simply
out of the question.

Ickis, krumm,
I want it made perfectly clear

This is your idea.

I want absolutely
nothing to do with it.

Here, fungus, here, fungus.

Fungus?

You are calling it fungus?

What sort of a sickly
sweet name is fungus?

How about pustule?

Now, there is a name
you can say with pride.

Pustule.

I like fungus.

I like pustule.

Fungus.

Pustule!

Fungus.

Pustule.

Fungus.

Pustule!

Fungus.

Good morning,
my little slime-slurpers.

Take out
your monster manuals

And turn to chapter --

"Making emotional trauma
work for you."

Oblina:
pustule.

Ickis:
fungus.

( Sighs )

Excuse me, ickis, oblina.

I'm so sorry.

( Yelling ):
was I talking

While you were talking?

Where are my manners?!

How could I be so rude
as to interrupt

Your undoubtedly
meaningless drivel?

That's quite all right,
your grombleness.

Your apology is accepted.

No hard feeling...

Ickis,
your monster manual.

( Whimpering )

How inspiring, class.

If only we could be

More like ickis, hmm?

He has not only
committed the manual to memory

But also to his digestive tract!

( Gagging )

Delicious.

( Gulps )

( Buzzing )

And what have we here, krumm?

Fleas.

Do you have enough

For the whole class?

I think so.

( Gobbling )

Sit down!

( Howling in distance )

What is that?!

( Imitates howling )

Oh, sometimes
I just cannot help myself

I simply have to sing.

( Howling in distance )

( Imitates howling )

Fungus.

Krumm:
* ickis and fungus,
he's not a virus *

* Don't call him pustule

( Chuckles )

* Fungus and ickis

* Barks 'cause he likes us

* Don't call him piddle

* Come here, boy, come here

* He's drooling bacteria

* A slobbering
factory of fleas *

* Hey, what's the crime

* Playin' in puddles of slime,
what the hey *

* It's okay
by me and my fungus *

* He's not a virus

* Don't call him pustule

* Monsters and dogs rule, yeah

* 'Cause they're smelly.

Come on, fungus, give it back.

( Chuckling ):
lovely.

( Laughs )

What to wear, what to wear.

That's not a toy, fungus.

( Grunting )

( Crying out )

( Crashing and banging )

I just love what the two of you
have done

With the place.

Ickis, tell him

To give me back my eye.

( Giggling )

( Needle scratches )

( Music playing )

Oh, there's nothing
like a shiny new pair of shoes

To awaken the blithe spirit
in this old gromble.

Ickis, we got to do something.

Fungus is out of control.

Oblina thinks so, too.

Where is oblina?

You got me.

Fungus, have you seen oblina?

( Barking )

What is it you say, fungus?

( Barking )

Oblina's trapped in a well?

That is quite enough!

I have had it up to here
with this game.

I readily admit
the first times were fun.

But now I must say

It is getting
a tad tedious.

( Whining )

I better take him out.

No, not now-- later,
when the gromble is asleep.

( Shrieks )

Have a nice walk.

( Oblina yelling )

( Clanking )

( Ickis yelling )

Oblina:
pustule!

Oh, at long last.

Every single volume
is in its proper place.

Rats.

( Fungus barking )

( Screaming )

( Screaming )

( Yelling ):
ickis!

Ickis:
hungry?

Gromble:
ickis!

So does this mean

We can't keep him?

My dear ickis

It's not that
I don't like pets--

I myself bred cockroaches
as a lad--

I simply have
an aversion to anything

That might destroy everything

I have my worked
my entire life to build!

( Yelling ):
I'm funny that way!

( Giggles )

You're lucky
I'm in a good mood.

Now I suggest you locate
that bark and bite

And take him back
above ground

Before I get perturbed!

( Barks )

( Yelling ):
ickis!

( All grunting )

( Panting )

( Whimpers )

Well, here we are, fungus.

( Giggling nervously )

Welcome to you new old home.

( Rings doorbell )

Daffodil!

( Barks )

Hey, everybody,
daffy came back.

All:
daffy?

( Sighs )

And this is where
we played catch.

And this is where
we gave each other a bath.

And this... This is where
we chased our tails.

You don't have a tail.

( Gasping )

Krumm!

Well, he doesn't.

And this is where

He took me and oblina skiing...

Oh, those were good times.

Oh, but the gromble
was right, ickis.

Bark and bites

Belong with humans.

I know, I know, but...

It sure didn't take him long
to forget all about...

M-m-m-me!

( Sobbing )

( Sobs )

There, there, icky.

Let it all out.

Yes.

( Sobs )

Here, ickis, maybe you can
have this as a pet.

Thanks, krumm.

What should I name him?

Wait a minute, you two.

First things first.

( Knocking )

This better be good.

We don't mean to disturb you,
merciful gromble

But we wanted
to check with you

Before we brought in
another pet.

I see.

Apparently I've taken
to mumbling.

Otherwise, why else would
you have not understood me

When I said

( Yelling ):
no more pets!

Well, um... I mean...

( Mumbling )

Little gromble?

Little gromble, eh?

Hmm, well, it has
a bit of a ring to it.

Well, maybe I could
make an exception.

Oh, look, this appears
to be a perfectly harmless...

Ow, oh, ow!

( Yelling )

( All gasping )

* Don't call him pustule

( Chuckles )

* Fungus and ickis

* Barks 'cause he likes us

* Don't call him piddle

* Come here, boy, come here

* He's drooling bacteria

* A slobbering
factory of fleas *

* Hey, what's the crime

* Playin' in puddles of slime

* Me and my fungus

* He's not a virus

* Don't call him pustule

* Monsters and dogs rule,
yeah, 'cause they're smelly. *