02x07 - The Rival/Hats Off

[bunniefuu]

( Clock chiming, thunderclap )

( Creaking )

( Owl hooting )

( Shrieking )

( Crying )

( Gasps )

( Screaming )

Call me crazy?!

( Needle scratching record )

( Chuckles )

Leaky...

( Gasping )

Hairy...

And my dear disappointing krumm.

( Gulping )

I would like to congratulate

Each and every one of you.

But I can't!

Those are
the most pathetic scares

That have ever
embarrassed a teacher

In the history of monsterdom.

Now, who's next?

Oblina?

Dear, sweet monster.

You have a scare that
will make your old gromble proud

Don't you?

( Proudly ):
well, i...

Of course you do.

Quickly,
go to the viewfinder

And give me a reason

To go on living.

( Applauding )

( Women chatting )

( Snarling )

Hello.

( Screaming )

Thank you, oblina.

Once again,
I have the will to carry on.

Which is not such a good thing
for the rest of you slackers!

Isn't there one amongst you

Besides oblina

Who has a halfway decent scare?

I do, I do.

Oh, please.

Hmm?

Oh, yes.

Smeldra.

Come here.

Class, I almost forgot.

This is smeldra, she's new.

Her family's just moved here

From the el segundo
waste treatment facility.

Please put
your hands together

And make her
feel welcome.

( Clapping and cheering )

Hey, chief,
check this out.

( Yelling )

( Screaming )

( Cheering )

( Laughing uncontrollably )

Beautiful.

None of you weaklings

Has had the guts
to scare firemen before.

Simply beautiful.

Bravo, smeldra.

Students:
yay! Great!

( Snarling )

Look at her.

What a show-off!

Pull!

She looks okay to me.

Are you going to eat that?

I didn't think so.

Pull!

( Cheering )

That is it!

I do not have to take
any more of this.

I have my pride.

( Panting )

Was it something I said?

( Panting )

( Grunting )

Whoa!

( Grunting )

( Crowd gasping )

( Diving board creaking )

( Growling )

( Cheering )

( Growling )

( Groaning )

Oh!

Ah, isn't it lovely, oblina?

Thank you, sir.

It's such
a perfect likeness of me.

And I've never seen myself
represented

On such a huge scale.

It's breathtaking.

( Hammer clanking )

Oh!

( Growling )

The humiliation!

She goes out of her way
to embarrass me.

You got to admit

She does know her way
around a scare.

If you ever say anything
like that again

I will have you for dinner.

Got that, rabbit boy?

Got it.

Ooh!

Hi, smeldra.

( Coughing ):
hi, smeldra.

Smeldra.

Whatever brings you
to our neck of the dump?

Would you like to go
scaring with me tomorrow?

Scaring? With you?

Why, that would be...

Delightful.

Yes, of course I would, I would.

Okay, see you tomorrow.

( Evil cackling )

( Shrieking with laughter )

I think I missed something.

Yes. Isn't it obvious?

What are you
talking about?

This so-called invitation
to go scaring.

It is a challenge.

She's calling me out.

Okay.

( Snarling )

( Taking deep breath )

Give it to me.

Oblina, dear?

Don't you think you're
going a little overboard?

No! I have met the enemy
and she is smeldra.

Oh, why am I
the only one

Who can see monsters
as they really are?

Who's she talking to?

Who is the best monster
in the world?

You are.

Who has the most
hideous transformations

Of all time? You do!

Are you the ugliest?

Yes, you are.

Yes, you are.

( Clearing her throat )

Hi, oblina.

Are you ready?

Smeldra!

I was just, you see,
i, I was...

Never mind.

Yes, I'm ready.

I don't know
what you had in mind

But I thought that
maybe we could scare

At the supermarket
or the mall.

You must be kidding.

I did those
years ago-- boring.

How about something fun?

Something challenging?

Like what?

Smeldra:
I'm not so sure about this.

Astronauts are about
as brave as they come.

What if they catch us?

What's the matter,
smeldra? Afraid?

No, I'm not afraid.

Huh, just careful.

Ooh.

Found a penny. Yippee.

Are you sure about this?

I'm sure.

Every monster for herself.

( Yawning )

( Oblina screaming )

( Squeaking )

( Alarm blaring )

( Oblina yelling )

Whoa!

( Gargling and gulping )

Eww, what has
he been eating?

Looks like a licorice candy cane

And some of them
big wax lips-- eww.

Oblina, I don't think
you should go in there.

Watch and learn, smeldra.

Oblina, don't go!

You ever lose the thrill

Of taking these
into space?

Yeah.

Me, too.

Space?

Man:
launch sequence is initiated.

T minus seconds.

, , ...

What are you doing here?

This is my scare.

Your scare
is about to get us both

Launched into outer space.

Outer space?

None of this
would have happened

If you had not challenged me
to a scaring contest.

Scaring contest?

Well, that is
why you asked me

To go scaring,
is it not?

You just wanted
to humiliate me some more.

Oblina, I asked you
to go scaring with me

Because I wanted
to be your friend.

My... My friend?

Yeah, that's all.

Oh...

Oh, well, i, i,
I guess I thought--

Oh, my.

I have made
a terrible mistake.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, that's okay.

But right now, we got
to get out of here.

How?

How?

We're monsters, aren't we?

( Beeping )

Hey, molly, what does
that look like to you?

Well, if I didn't
know any better

I'd say an empty space suit
is walking around the cargo bay.

Have the boys check it out.

Roger that, margie.

Hmm.

Look at that.

( Snarling )

Both:
mommy!

( Screaming )

Hey, what does
that look like to you?

Well, if I didn't
know any better

I'd say it looks
like two astronauts

Running away and screaming

Like babies.

Roger that, molly.

We did it.

No, you did it.

Thank you.

Hello, I'm sandy candy

And I'm here with astronauts
gus reed and dirk malloy.

Could you tell us why the launch

Has been delayed yet again?

Technical difficulties.
Bad weather.

Bad weather.
Technical
difficulties.

Oh...

( Giggling )

And then the best part

Was seeing
the looks on their faces

When we came out
of the space suit.

They were terrified!

Wow! That's got to be
one of the best scares ever.

Yup. It rates.

Smeldra, I just...
I want to say how sorry I am

For misjudging you

And I would like to give you
a little gift

As a token of our friendship.

( Giggling )

A gift basket.

How nice.

I have something for you, too.

Ooh.

( Growling and snarling )

What was I thinking?

Both:
oh, brother.

( Screaming )

Well, that was easy.

Announcer:
ladies and gentlemen,
lapin perdido!

( Applause )

Audience:
wow!

Audience:
ooh!

Announcer:
now, with the help

Of the beautiful tiffany...

( Cheering and applause )

Ickis, your fascination
with humans is embarrassing.

I swear, you are going
to rot your brain.

They love this guy.

They're humans,
they love tv.

Ickis, we should be going.

( Roaring )

( Audience cheering )

( Cheering and applause )

It's not the human,
it's the hat!

It is a bore. That's what it is.

Sure, that's what you think

Miss "everybody's
favorite monster."

Me? ( Giggling )

I can tell you this:
whatever I am

If I had a hat like that

I'd be the one
everybody would love.

Ickis?

Ickis!

We are leaving.

Oblina, maybe
we should go back.

Nonsense, krumm.

People-watching
is a nasty habit.

I will do nothing
to encourage it.

Hi, guys.

Ickis, I cannot believe

You stole
that human's hat.

I did not steal it.

When he wasn't looking

I grabbed it and ran.

Do I look human?

You look ridiculous.

Same thing.

Wait till I pull
stuff out of it.

You'll pull stuff
out of the hat?

And make things disappear.

Wow, I'd love
to see that.

Yeah! Everybody's
going to love me

When they see what I can do.

Ickis, really.

( All chattering )

You got me out of bed for this?

No!
( Shatters )

You are here to see magic.

And now, with the help

Of my beautiful assistant,
tiffany...

Without the help of
my beautiful assistant, tiffany

I present feats unseen

In the monster world.

This is dumb.

No! It's magic.

And only I control it.

Only I can reach into
this seemingly empty hat

And pull out...

My hand!

( Monsters groaning )

Thank you, ickis,
for a monumental waste of time.

I'm going back to bed.

Forget about it,
buddy.

Yeah, okay.

Good night, guys.

( Snoring )

( Sniffing )

( Giggling )

Oh!

( Yelling )

( Wings flapping )

( Squealing ):
yikes!

Look at me! Look at me!

( Laughing ):
I can fly!

I can fly!

Who am I talking to?

Who cares! I can fly!

Ooh... Oh...

I think this may
have been a mistake.

( Squealing ):
I want to go home.

( Screaming )

( Huffing and puffing )

( Panting )

( Squealing )

( Panting )

( Animal howling )

( Crying )

( Panting )

( Animal squeaking )

Hello?

Is someone there?

( Growling )

Before you come any closer,
you should know

( Voice cracking ):
that I am not scared of you.

I'm a big scary monster?

With big sharp teeth.

See?

( Squeaks )

( Squeaks )

For me?

Oh, well... ( Giggling )

Oh, I just couldn't.

Well, all right.

( Ickis yells )

( Babbling )

( Screeches )

What is it?

Wait! Come back!

( Horn honking )

( Engine roaring )

( Screaming )

( Honking )

( Shouting ):
oblina!

Help me!

( Screaming )

( Jazz music
playing on radio )

( Tires squealing )

Okay.

Hi!

( Shrieks )

What is it?

What happened to you?

Oh, I lost my legs.

You haven't seen a pair
kicking around?

Oh, yeah, yeah,
they went that way.

Thanks.

If I keep walking
on my hands

I'll break a nail.

Oh, y-y-yeah, b-b-be careful

There's a really big
striped cat out there

That is
really unhappy.

That's mittens.

The bunnies want you

To get rid of him.

Me?!

( Crying ):
why me?

Aren't you
the bunny king?

( Laughing hysterically )

Bunny king?

What made you think that...

Ow!

That I was
the bunny king?

( Fanfare )

( Gasps )

Wow!

( Horn honking )

Oh! That bully!

You've got to do something.

Of course
I've got to do something.

I'm the bunny king!

( Groans )

( Dove coos )

Okay, everyone-- places.

( Horn honking )

( Music playing on radio )

( Tires screech )

( Total silence )

( Cooing )

( Ickis laughing )

Good catch.

Hey, rabbits,
come on out!

I saved you.

( Rabbits cheering )

Friends, rabbits, uh...

And assorted body parts.

Lend me your ears.

Today you are free.

Free to live your lives
without fear.

( Bunnies cheering )

( Grunts )
ickis:
all right!

So, each of you hop

Where you want
to hop.

Be all you can be.

Now I got
to go home, bye.

You can't.

You're the bunny king!

But all my friends...

No buts!

No, but I want
to go home.

( Yelps )

( Growling )

( Shouting ):
krumm!

Help me!

Oblina, wake up

Ickis is in trouble.

( Rabbits growling )

You don't understand!

( Wailing ):
I'm not a king

I'm just a little monster.

But they all love you.

Isn't that what you want?

Love! Love!

( Cackling )

They love you.

Announcer:
ladies and gentlemen

The man, the music, the magic--

Lapin perdido!

( Applause )

( Wailing ):
no! It's too much!

Here is your king.

Over here!

( Cackling )

I found this in a taxi.

My hat,
it has to be my hat.

A black top hat.

Just start the show,
I'll find it.

( Drum roll )

( Applause )

( Screaming )

( Audience booing )

( All cheering )

We don't like you!

You... You don't understand.

( Booing )

I don't want to be king.

I want to be ickis.

( Booing )

But they all love you.

( Booing )

Andre... My music.

I don't care,
I just, I want to go.

I want to go home!

( Whooshing, ickis yells )

( Both screaming )

( Applause )

( Screaming )

( Rasping )

( Spitting )

Finally, ickis, you are awake.

( Panting ):
I'm, uh... I'm awake?

Was i...?

Where's the hat?

I took that
wretched thing back.

Stealing, ickis,
honestly.

Oh! I had this dream!

I, I fell into this hat
full of bunnies and...

And they, and they...

They made you king?

Yes, yes,
they made me king.

How did you know?

I ate a book
on dreams once.

Come on, we'll
be late for class.

( Sighs )

( Giggling )

Oh, wow, what a re...

Oh, can you imag...

It just seemed so real!

( Laughing nervously )

Ickis:
( gasps ) oh...

( Giggling ) oh.