03x05 - In Search of Big Byoo-Tox/Moronathon Man

[bunniefuu]

( Lively dance music playing )


* A-a-a-angry beavers

* Beavers.

Daggett: elusive big byoo-tox seen in campsite...

Ooh! Ah!

Wow!

Big byoo-tox seen on route eight.

Ooh! Ah!

Big byoo-tox seen wearing mrs. Howell's sunday best.

Cool.

This could only happen in our great country

And maybe moscow.

( Norbert chuckling )

( Panting )

What's in the box, norbie?

Not that I really care or would spend hours

Obsessively trying to take it from you.

I'm just honestly curious. Honest!

The duck and cover duck.

After a daring stunt

You'll think he's broken.

But no, just snap him back together, bingo.

All american parts made in hoboken.

The duck and cover duck

By notell, where fun is nobody's business.

Ooh, ah!

Ooh!

Bombs away!

Hmm, that doesn't appear to sting.

Let me try.

( Panting ): no!

Why, why, why?

Listen, demolition dag-a-lag-a-ding-dong.

I'm afraid your roughhousing is just a wee bit too rough.

From now on, the duck and cover duck is...

( Imitating echo ): off, off, off, off, off...

Limits-ts-ts-ts...

Off, off, off, off, off...

Limits-mits-mits-mits?

We'll just see about that, norbert b. Butt beaver.

( Quacking mechanically )

Heads up.

Incoming soft and harmless marshmallow alert.

( Quacking )

( Humming )

When he's not looking, I'll just sneak up and take that duck.

He'll never see me, as I blend seamlessly with my surroundings.

Heh?

Nice camouflage, dag.

( Yelps )

I'll show you, nor-butt!

You haven't seen the last of me!

I mean, you have seen the last of me!

But will nonetheless experience the effects of my unseen presence.

Just as soon as I can figure out how to make myself unseen.

As dog is my witness

I'll have that duck if it's the last thing--

( Deep laughter )

You really blew that, man.

Wow!

I know who you are.

Oh, yeah?

You're big byoo-tox, that big, hairy

Elusive sneaky thing that's always in the newspaper.

Oh, yeah.

Big byoo-tox.

Never heard of him.

Name's harrington, man.

Harring...

Oh...

I get it. Oh.

Whatever you say, "harrington."

Your sneaky secret is safe with me.

In fact, I'm pretty sneaky myself.

I just keep getting caught, that's all.

Oh, oh, yeah.

Well, man, you know, if, if you put your head to it

Huh? You can do, uh...

Anything?

Yeah, yeah.

You can do anything.

Now clear your mind of all those negative waves.

Yeah, hey, whatever.

Listen, I bet you can teach me

All of your legendary secrets of being elusive and sneaky

So I can steal his duck.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah.

Uh, okay, whatever, I guess.

Come on, stay in my time zone.

What?

( Humming )

( Panting )

Okay, do your stuff.

( Chuckles ) uh, sure, man, whatever.

Dag-a-lag-a-loco.

Don't think I don't see you.

Wow!

You are the sneakiest, harry.

And all you did was cover your eyes

And norb didn't even notice you.

This will be easy-peasy.

That duck is mine!

Possessions are a prison, man.

( Quacking... )

( Thud, crash )

( Crashes ) ( chuckling )

Okay, now is our chance.

Show me how it's done, o large, hairy one.

Hey, I made a rhyme.

( Quacking )

Cool!

I'm hiding, I'm hiding.

No one can see me 'cause...

( Humming )

I'm hiding, no one can see me

'Cause I've got my hands over me and I'm invisible.

( Humming )

What was that?

Who cares? 'Cause I'm hiding.

No one can see me.

( Humming )

Ooh! Uh!

( Humming )

Didn't see a cliff, didn't see a cliff.

'Cause I'm hiding.

There it is again.

Who cares again? 'Cause I'm hiding.

( Humming... )

I'm hiding, I'm hiding.

( Yelps )

Spooty couch.

Dag-a-diggle.

Will you please stop

With all this bad sneaking around?

I am the master of observation.

My senses are like a cat's.

Don't test me.

( Duck quacking )

You are a genius.

You did it again.

( Chuckles ) I just go with the flow, baby.

Huh?

Ah, yes.

Go with the flow.

I, I don't get it.

Must find way out...

In about ten minutes.

Don't you think -d is the bestest, buddy?

( Imitates quacking )

Course you do!

( Heavy footsteps )

( Woman screaming on tv )

Cool.

It seems so real.

( Imitates duck )

( Barking )

( More barking )

Shh!

( Quiets )

Wow!

You were right out in plain sight.

Uh, yeah... Sure...

Sometimes that's the best place to hide, man.

I guess.

I'll write that down.

( Loud gobbling )

( Duck quacking )

( Loud crash )

Nice try, sir sneaky.

Not!

Oh, yeah?

Well, that's what you think, norbert.

But I'll get your duck.

You know why?

You want to know why, huh? You don't know

That I have a special secret friend helping me

The great, elusive, big byoo-tox!

He's teaching me all of his secret tricks

For being super sneaky!

( Imitating duck )

Yeah, sure.

Me and my duck have a secret friend, too.

His name is skeezmo

And he's sitting right over there

Wearing a stovepipe hat and knitting a macrame owl.

Wow, a macrame owl?

How does he do that?

Hey...

Hey!

I don't see no stinking skeezmo.

( Imitates duck )

Norbert: I know, little pal.

For a mere mortal, that treacherous stunt track

Would be a gruesome, horrible, tragic nightmare!

( Quacks ) but not for you!

You're the duck and cover crash duck!

( Quacks )

Right, buddy?

You're almost indestructible!

( Quacks )

You know, those are pretty negative waves, baby.

Remember... Huh?

Positive waves equal... Um...

What, what?

Positive waves equal...

What?

( Chews loudly )

Positive waves, positive waves, positive waves.

Positive waves, positive waves, positive waves.

Posive waves, positive waves.

Positive waves, positive waves.

Positive waves, positive waves!

( Daggett yelps )

Positive wave mistake!

( Screeches )

If it weren't so wrong, it would be beautiful.

( Shrieks )

( Thud, crash )

( Howls )

There you go, little fellow.

Daggett ( tremulously ): big byoo-tox.

( Norbert chuckling )

Just admit it, even with big byoo-tox

Your imaginary, secret, sneaky coach

You still can't sneak up on me.

Hey, little dude.

Wow.

Hey, you know, you guys are out of ho humms

So, uh, I'm gone, man.

Pretty scary, dag, but he isn't big byoo-tox.

( Chuckling ): no, baby, I ain't.

Oh, yeah? Well, who was it then?

I don't know. Just some big, hairy guy, I guess.

Sounds canadian, eh?

So, uh...

You mean to tell me...

That I've been alone...

( Quacks ) with a big, hairy...

Naked... ( Quacks )

Canadian?

Eww!

Hey, wait a minute.

How do you know that's not big byoo-tox?

Because that's big byoo-tox!

( Frog croaks )

Aha, mosquito.

Careful, pete.

There are bugs in this forest.

Bug, bugs, bugs... Some nice bugs.

( Slurps )

Of course, no bug sprays.

Just this giant beaker of stupidity potion .

Why, this causes overwhelming stupidity

In nine out of ten creatures who drink it. ( Laughing )

Better get rid of this before someone gets it.

( Snoring )

( Bell rings )

( Motor whirring )

( Snoring... )

( Croaking )

( Slurps )

( Burps loudly )

( Grunts )

( Crashing, glass breaking )

( Grumbles )

( Crashing... )

Hey, what the...?

Ladies and gentle guys, convenience has a new name

The lazy susan living room.

You can now be anywhere without ever going there!

The lazy susan brings it to you.

Hey, I'd like to watch tv.

Whoa-a-boga, baby.

( Sizzling, creaking... )

Pretty cool, huh?

Well, dag, let me put it this way...

Duh, I'm dag.

I think it's a good idea

To rip up the living room

And balance it on a record player.

Ah, you saw the record player.

That's the best part.

( Wood creaking )

Okay, dag.

You've had your fun.

( Grunts )

( Yells ): now stop this thing!

Eek!

( Howling )

( Grunting )

( Loud thud, grunt )

( Burps )

( Groans )

( Glass breaking )

( Laughing stupidly )

( Babbling, gurgling )

Daggett: hey, are you making fun of me again?

Come on, I'm not that stupid.

( Laughs, grunts )

What have I done? ( Laughs madly )

That pointy weasel must have drank stupidity potion .

Vaccinate him, pete.

Ow!

( Yelps )

Poor fool. Dumb as ever.

Our antidote is...

No antidote. ( Guffaws )

Quick! Let's make sure the other animals

Don't drink from this pond or they'll all be stupid.

( Giggling )

( All groan idiotically )

Duh...

( Silly giggling ) duh...

Duh... Hey... Duh...

Papa's going to milk his cow.

( Bull bellows )

( All giggle stupidly )

( Blithering foolishly )

Everyone's acting kind of stupid.

( Laughing, yelling outdoors )

Hey, move that sign.

I'm trying to figure out what's going on here.

( Burps )

Ooh...

Aha! I've got it.

That sign is making everyone stupid.

It's not the sign, it's the water.

Like I said

The water is making everyone stupid.

( Loud, goofy bellowing )

( Braying )

As the smartest guy around

I should really do something about this.

Hey, wait a minute-- I'm the smartest guy around.

The supreme smarty-pants, smartest guy.

( Both laugh )

Laugh all you want, no-brain beaver.

You'll all do my bidding soon enough

You mindless poopy-heads.

Poopy.

Poopy.

Poopy.

Hey!

Listen up!

I'm the supreme smarty-pants

Smartest guy around, smart.

So you dummies better do what I say and, uh...

Bow before me and stuff.

Hey, hey... ( Yelps )

( Chuckling idiotically )

( Grumbling )

( Chuckling )

( Fish giggles )

( Chuckling )

Poopy.

( Grunts )

( Laughing )

It's stupid being smart.

And not much fun.

I'm never going to be smart again.

( Slurps loudly )

Funny, I don't feel any different.

( Burps )

Whoa, baby.

You got the breath

That'll make a dumb bear smart.

Hmm, plot contrivance!

We were just observing from behind those cardboard bushes.

You must be the one out of ten creatures

Unaffected by our stupidity potion.

Not only are you immune

But your body generates a powerful antidote.

Don't ask us to explain; it's...

( Guffaws ) science.

( Laughing )

( Resonating burp )

( Laughing goofily )

( Resonating burp )

( Rapid, repeating burps )

( Trees crashing, boom )

Drats! That dummy is playing us for fools.

After him.

You can't see me.

You can't see me.

Hey, he's right there.

Come on!

After him.

( Giggling )

Now...

Make...

Him...

Smart.

( Cackling madly )

( Burps )

Holy expletive!

Drinking stupidity potion is one thing

But swimming in it ( cackles )

Is quite another.

That weasel is either going to be times dumber

Or times smarter.

Probably times dumber.

Right, pete, or he may just drown.

( Guffawing )

We should have known that weasel can't get any dumber.

( Loud rumbling... )

Daggett: you incognizant fools!

When will you learn it's stimulus-response?

Stimulus-response.

( Howls ) that smarts!

Not even college hurt that much.

Mmm, sugar water.

Me do good on tests.

( With english accent ): ooh.

With my super brilliance

It appears I have now solved every problem

In the known universe...

Except for one.

Ooh... Whatever happened to norb?

( Men chanting )

( Laughs idiotically )

Poopy.

Poopy.

Men ( chanting ): poopy, poopy, poopy.

And nickelodeon]