[ Lively dance music playing]
♪ A-a-a-angry beavers
♪ Beavers.
[ Laughter]
[ Humming]
[ Evil laughter]
[ Yelling]
Yeow!
[ Screaming]
[ Groaning]
There you have it:
An emergency splenectomy in just ten minutes
Using only a melon baller and rubber adhesive.
Next time, we'll show you how to perform a full spinal transplant
From a genetically engineered pig
Using only pinking shears and a putty Kn*fe
Right here on the home surgery channel.
Bye-bye.
Oh, piece of cake!
He'll never miss that nasty old spleen.
Ow!
[ Sobbing]
Norbie! Norbie! Norbie! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
I got an ouchie! Owie, owie, owie! Owie, owie!
Calm yourself, my little dagsel in distress
And I will... Examine the problem.
Don't touch it. You're going to hurt it.
Give it to me straight, doc-- will I
Be able to play the violin?
I don't see why not.
Funny, I've never been able to play before.
[ Imitates rim sh*t]
Fortunately, you and I have advanced...
Sorry, let me try that again.
Yeah? Okay, go.
Fortunately for you
I have advanced
Medical training: johns hopkins, harvard med...
Various swedish clinics.
Really?
All right, I'm lying
But I've seen a lot of doctoring on the tv.
What a doctor does is order everyone around
'Cause you're just so darned important.
Get on the table!
[ Screaming]
Nurse! I want this patient prepped and shaved!
Shave him good. Stat!
Give me an i.v. Drip
A lower g.i., A big p.u. Stat! Stat! Stat!
[ Elevator music playing]
Now, lay down perfectly still while I scrub up.
Stay!
Spooty old fishing lure...
You really hurt me
You spooty old lure.
[ Lips smacking]
Huh? You're sorry for what you did?
You're not like all those other lures, are you?
I can see it in your... Eyes.
I know this sounds ooky
But I feel as if I've known you forever.
Well, maybe not forever-- a couple of hours, but...
Do you feel the same way, too?
You do? You do!
You do! I knew it!
I can't even say "you do?"
Because that's a question as if you answered
So let me try that again.
You do, you do. I knew it!
This is just so wonderful, my little... Angel eyes.
I've considered the options
And normal surgical procedures just won't do.
Our only chance is a radical tail-offa-me.
Of course, beforehand, there'll be many painful
Embarrassing and expensive tests to perform.
Hello! What's this? Huh?
Ohh! What's happening to me?
I'm both thrilled and frightened.
I can't help myself. Can't fight it.
Angel eyes, you're just so darn...
Oh, can this be love?
[ Birds squawking]
Gosh, don't you, gosh, wish we were
Gosh, old enough to, gosh, get married?
[ Giggling]
I'm tired of being, gosh, patient.
I ache inside, gosh.
Oh, why, gosh, does, gosh
Summer vacation, gosh, ever have to, gosh, end, angel eyes?
What's wrong, angel eyes?
Was it something I said?
Talk to me. Talk to me!
[ Sobbing]
Oh, gosh, we're having our first fight!
I can't stand it!
Oh, angel eyes!
You still love me!
My heart soars! Gosh.
Norbert: fore!
Eh, bit of a slice.
You know, it seems like I've forgotten something
But I just can't put my finger on it.
Probably just a matter of life and death.
Anyway, nothing's more important
To a doctor than his golf game. Fore!
[ Glass breaking, cat meowing]
I think it's time for that titanium driver.
[ Laughing]
Psst! Psst!
[ Reading]
Hmm... Lurid snapshots.
[ Gasping]
[ Southern accent]: daggett in a tawdry love affair!
My brother needs me!
This is no time for golf!
What am I saying?
Fore!
[ Scottish accent]: oh, cruel, cruel fate
That I should be of noble birth and you just a common lure
But I can't help loving you, angel eyes
Any more than I can help...
[ Inhaling deeply]: breathing.
My lands, my titles
Those suits of metal clothes
In my big, large, giant brick house
Mean nothing without you.
My course is clear.
I know what I must do!
I will give it all up
For the sake of the wooden thingy I love.
Dag, have you gone absolutely freakin' mental?
What's the meaning of this intrusion?
I just kept you from putting a rusty hook in your lip.
Arggh! How dare you say such a thing
About my angel eyes, you blackguard!
Dag, it's a fishing lure-- a fishing lure!
Your point?
It's an inanimate object...
Your point?
Incapable of ever returning the love
You're lavishing on it so deludedly.
Again, your point?
How dare you?!
[ French accent]: I challenge you to a duel.
Parry, thrust, lunge, parry, lunge, parry, lunge, lunge...
[ Both screaming]
Now, what are you going to do now, senor silly?
Challenge you to another duel.
Huh?
[ Birds chirping]
[ Grunting]
Uh, you can stop now.
Not yet.
Really, I've snapped out of it.
All right.ah, just a few more.
There, done.
I think we need to examine where
This anger is coming from... Or not.
I know I haven't been myself, but I can't help it!
Of all beavers, you should understand.
You were in love with-- yuck-- treeflower!
Pathetic as it was.
Love isn't always pretty.
It isn't always what we want it to be.
I know my current relationship is rather unique.
The word is psychotic.
I know I'll-i'll...
What do you know?
I know that all I'll get out of it
Is heartbreak and lockjaw
But I can't help myself.
Angel eyes really has... Really has...
Her hooks in you?
You said it; I didn't.
Yeah...
[ Yells]
Listen to yourself, man.
I am.
[ Crickets chirping, wind howling]
The sooner we get that thing off you, the better!
[ Motor whirring]
No! No!
Yes.
[ Tail snaps]
Oh!
[ Yelling]
I'll never give up, angel eyes!
Do you hear me? Never!
Get away from me, you spooty fish!
Aah!
Okay, I'm ready to give up, angel eyes.
[ Grunting]
Spooty lure, spooty lure...
Spooty lure!
[ Daggett gasping]
[ Studio audience laughing]
[ Groaning]
There you have it: the effects of spicy food
On a person from a non-spicy culture.
Next time: coming of age in samoa
Right here on the home anthropology channel.
Bye-bye.
[ Sighing]
That's it, norbie, I am through with love.
Yeah, sure, right.i've learned my lesson.
Let me write that down; make a note of that:
"Daggett through with love."
I've learned my lesson the hard way. Love hurts.
Ooh, ooh, love hurts!
Especially with a hook.
I am done, done, done-- finito, completo, senor-o.
Over and out.
[ Distant laughter]
Hey! Pipe down, I'm trying to watch some t and v here.
[ Laughter continues]
[ Gasping]
Looks like your angel eyes isn't such an angel!
[ Gasping]
You will watch what you say about her!
I'm just calling it like I see it.
We may not be officially dating
But there's still a bond between us.
But she's a bit of a floozy, dag.
Ooh, how dare you!
Do you know what that is-- a floozy?
She put the "floo" in floozy.
I should have operated.
You're dragging like luggage!
I can shake her anytime I want.
[ Laughter]
Face it, one way or the other
The tail's gone.
My way, you got your freedom.
Your way, you get a sushi bar following you around.
Your point?
It'd wreck your social life if you had one.
You want to talk about a social life?
You spend most of your time with me!
Think about that, loser!
Floozy chaser.
You are floozy fodder.
En garde! En garde!
Parry, thrust, parry, parry, parry, thrust!
From now on, people aren't going
To call you "daggett" anymore.
They'll go, "oh, there goes mrs. Floozy."
... , , , , ...
[ Laughing]
Go, horsey, go.
Go right.
No, go left.
Go right.
Ah, doom-trotters--
Post-apocalyptic australian action
Without any pesky v*olence, rated pg.
Eight-nine-ten-do games are the ginchiest.
Righto, righto, norbie.
The bad guy chases us around
But nothing ever happens
No matter how much I move this stick-joy-thingy.
That's because doom-trotters is
Good, clean, kid-friendly fun, thunder-dag
And I disconnected your stick-joy-thingy hours ago.
Ahh!
Huh?
Say, I gots a kooky notion.
What do you say we have
A little party one of these days?
Excellent idea, pin-the-tail-on-the-daggett.
After all, I am the party-meister.
[ Shouting and hooting]
Glad you feel that way, norboto.
Everyone will be here in about an hour.
I do.
I feel it.
In an hour?!
Yes, minutes, to be exact.
We have to dust.
We have to preen.
We have to make horse-dervishes.
[ Panting]
[ Panicked shrieking]
Why are we getting our undies in a bunch?
A part-ya is just having some friends over and goofing around.
No time for your pithy assessments, dagmund freud.
We must divide up the workload.
I'll check on the snacking situation
And you clean up the joint.
B-b-b-b-b-but cleaning means cleanliness
Which is next to dogly-ness.
Now, now, donner daggy, nothing to be afeard of.
Now get cracking.
Go, go, go.
Oui, mon norbie.
A chore no more--
Cleaning is now an easy-peasy piney-scented breezy
With the fabulous new daggett slap-soap cleaning system.
How does it work? The secret is in the natural chamois action
On his beaver tail.
While dag slaps away the mess--
Slap, slap, and an extra slap-- his tail cleans.
[ Sniffing]
Eee!
[ Grumbling]
Cleans and polishes all in one easy step.
[ Cha-cha playing]
Hmm, pancake mix, pickled beets, three licorice whips
And a can of lima beans.
Ah, the lima bean: so rich in fiber and riboflavin
But not rich enough for a norbertian bacchanalia.
[ Cha-cha playing]
Uh, excuse me, captain conga?
Dag! Zip down
To the mini-mart and pick me up some more snacks, chop-chop.
Ja wohl, kommandment.
[ Door closing]
[ Gasping]
Hey, what the...?
[ Stammering]
Daggett, what did you do here?
[ Screaming]
[ Crashing and clanging]
♪ Lock the door
♪ Got myself some munchies, and a whole lot more ♪
[ Scatting]
[ Groaning and growling]
[ Laughing and shrieking]
Daggett! Don't...
Don't what, norbie?
Hey, look what I got, norb-ya.
The mini-mart was closed for a polish holiday, so I went
To the gas station next door.
Pretty smart, huh?
Spicy beef sticks, a candy necklace
Peanut butter crackers...
Ooh, yep, and they're all good and stale.
Rubber combs?
Pre-haired from the factory.
Oil filters?
-Weight. Party favors.
Let me think a second. No!
[ Crashing]
How about those floors, there, mano, huh?
Shut your bark-hole.
Maybe I should have bought those toenail clippers, too.
Viola!
Five minutes left to spare.
How do I do it? How do I do it?
Okay, dag-a-lagga lib-a-long-day
How we coming with those...
[ Metallic clicking]
De... Co... Ra... Tions?
Hey, norby, look. I can almost hit
The ceiling with this staple g*n thingy.
[ Imitates g*nshots]
Dag!
[ Stammering]
[ Crashing]
What are you doing?
You're supposed to be putting up decorations.
Our guests are going to be here any minute.
Ah, looks good enough to me.
[ Gasps]
Just wait till I get out of this...
Spoot!
[ Yelling]
[ Whimpering]
[ Glass breaking]
[ Squeaking]
Help me, will you?
Sure, brother.
[ Mexican hat dance]
[ Bell dings]
Well, I guess that's it.
Our friends will be here any minute
Nope. And we're not ready.
What are they going to think?
What are they going to say?
Well, bing's probably going to say something like
"Ow. A party! "Cooly-cool-cool. Skeek!
"Look, I broke my dumb tail off.
"I'm running all over the place
And talking like an idjit..."
[ Talking fast]
Skeek!
[ Both laughing]
And barry's probably
Going to say...
[ Ala barry white]: norbert, daggett, my man
Let the first melody begin in the beaver brothers' crib.
The wizard of funk
And the king of amore had made the righteous scene.
Boogaloo, boogie down and shimmy-sham-shimmy.
We goin' pitch one tonight.
Oh, yeah, babies, slap me some.
Yeah, baby.
Respect.
Respect.
And this is...
This-this, th-this is what stump's going to say...
[ Raucous laughter]
Oh, oh, oh!
And I'm truckee, the truck-driving shrew
And I don't like anything
That doesn't have something to do with trucks
But I came to the party anyway!
What's it to you?
[ Laughter]
Hey, who shut out
The light?
Hey, dr. Dugamento.
As long as this
Is as ready as we're going to get
What do you say we throw on a little party music?
Yeah.
Okay, okay, okay!
First guy to the eight-tracks gets to pick.
Whoo. Whoo!
Hey, no fair.
[ Yells]
I win, I win, I win, I win...
[ Snorting]
Let me see, let me see, w-what do I want to hear?
[ Crackling sound]
[ Squeaking]
Ah, mitch shower at his mighty theater organ--
The perfect mix of keyboard sophistication
And boyish insouciance.
[ Grunts]
[ Gasps]
[ Stammering]
[ Grunts]
[ Squeaking and whooshing]
[ Ping]
Looks like I get to choose the tuneage.
[ Groaning]
Yo, hey, ha!
Victory is mine!
[ Crashing]
[ Squeaking]
Hmm.
That's convenient.
[ Heavy metal music playing]
Oh, good choice, norbie-norb!
I love this tune.
♪ Um, uh-uh, oh, a-um, um, uh-um ♪
♪ Uh, back in ' and before the team, - , ... ♪
But I still get my tape in.
Ah, that's what you think, squeegee boy.
Cowabunga, geronimo and ole!
I'm coming to get you, wayne dagsky.
[ Playful laughter]
Norbert: come to papa.
Oh, no, you don't.
Daggett: ouch!
[ Maniacal laughter]
Eww!lima beans and a comb.
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
[ Slurping sounds]
Fabulous!
Perhaps just a petit...
[ Bell dings]
Hey, norbie, we're having some fun.
Ooh, you got it, nor bro.
[ Scatting]
Hello? Hey, guys?
Hey... Hello?
Ooh, it looks like fun.
Hey, can we come in, too?
They're having a party.
[ Laughter and crashing]
Hello? We're still out here.
Hello?
Did anyone...? Did anyone bring any snacks?
[ Laughter and crashing continue]
03x22 - Strange Allure/Partying Is Such Sweet Sorrow
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Revolves around the zany hijinks of Norbert and Daggett Beaver, two young beaver brothers who have moved out of their parents' home to become bachelors in the forest near the fictional Wayouttatown, Oregon.
Revolves around the zany hijinks of Norbert and Daggett Beaver, two young beaver brothers who have moved out of their parents' home to become bachelors in the forest near the fictional Wayouttatown, Oregon.