03x05 - To Catch a Thief

[bunniefuu]

Oh, here it goes.

♪ Everybody out there
go run and tell ♪

♪ Your homeboys
and homegirls ♪

♪ It's time for
kenan and kel ♪

♪ They'll keep you laughing
in the afternoon ♪

♪ So don't touch that dial,
don't leave the room ♪

♪ Because they're always
into some more fun ♪

♪ And you don't
want to miss it ♪

♪ It's double k
like do the good way ♪

♪ It's kenan and kel,
or should I say kel and kenan? ♪

♪ Then you gotta
watch kenan ♪

♪ 'Cause kenan be scheming
with a plan or a plot ♪

♪ To make it to the top ♪

♪ But they're kinda
in the middle ♪

♪ 'Cause they're always
getting caught ♪

♪ This ain't the hardy boys
or nancy drew mystery ♪

♪ It's just kenan and kel
in your vicinity ♪

♪ Like zigfried and roy
or abbott and costello ♪

♪ Magic and kareem
or penn and teller ♪

♪ Somebody's in trouble?
Oh, here it go ♪

♪ On nick nick nick nick
nick nick nick nick ♪♪

Captioning made possible by
nickelodeon
and u.s. Department of education

Thank you all for coming

To check us out.

My name is kenan.

I love you.

That's great.

And it would be

My personal pleasure

To welcome
the hardest-working

Youngster in
show business, kel!

Go ahead, boy.
Thank you. Thank you.

[Cheers and applause]

Thank you all.

How are
all you all doing?

Whoo!

Did--did you really
mean that

About me being
the hardest-working
youngster in show business?

No. I lied.

But, you know,
that brings up
the very point

Of today's episode--
honesty.

Now, I wasn't honest
with kel a moment ago.

As far as youngsters go,
I do work pretty hard.

Yeah, whatever.

Now, as I was saying,

Friends should
always be honest
with each other.

For example...kel,
that nasty shirt makes
your face look puffy.

You don't like it?
I mean, it was a gift
from my grandma.

You know, I also think
that I should tell kel

That at this moment,
his breath stinks.

Does today's show have
to be about honesty?

Actually, no. I lied.

Whoo!

But I can honestly say

That it will be
a different show.

Now, come on, sultan.

Kenan, what you mean
by "different"?

Kenan! Kenan, i--i--brushed
my teeth this morning, see?

Gleam.

Kenan, kenan!

Aw, here it goes!

[Laughter]

And that's how I became idaho's
youngest spelling champion.

Wow. That's very
impressive, mark.

I've always been
a pretty good
speller myself.

Go on, try me.

Give me a word
to spell.

How about "boring"?

Aw, come on, kenan.
You know that's too easy.

Hey, I've got one.

Can you spell
"chronometer"?

I better go
into the kitchen.

[Clears throat]

Pop, the dictionary's
upstairs.

You know, chronometer's
the word mark had to spell

To win the spelling
championship.

Isn't that right, son?

Yeah. How lucky
was that?

Real lucky?

You see, a chronometer
is a watch,

And mark's hobby
is collecting watches.

Oh, that's right.
I keep forgetting
that we just met.

I feel like I've known
you guys forever.

Funny how one night
can seem like forever.

Thank you again
for inviting us over

For dinner, mrs. Rockmore.

I especially enjoyed
the p-i-e.

Peas? We didn't
have peas.

Pie, kel. He was
spelling pie.

Well, listen. It's just so nice
to finally have new neighbors.

Can I give you a hand
with these dishes,
mrs. R.?

Did you hear that,
kenan?

He offers to help
in the kitchen.

Oh. Well, I guess you got
plenty of help then.

Well, it was nice
meeting you folks.

Kel and I are just gonna
retire to my room now.
Come along, kel.

Hey, kenan. Why don't you
show mark your room?

Hey, that'd be great!

G-r-e-a-t.

Oh, yeah, great.

[Giggling]

Chronometer.

C...h...r...

Damn!

Hey, check it out!

My bedroom window faces
your bedroom window!

Oh, you know that's cool.

You see, when you guys
wanna talk to one another,

You can tape a message
right to this phone right here

And throw it back and forth
to each other.

There's so much wrong
with that, I don't even
know where to start.

Wow! A chronics
time keeper deluxe!

This is a classic!

Oh, yeah. That was
my daddy's watch.

He gave it to me.

I don't wear it
'cause the band
is broken.

You gotta get
the band fixed.

This is one
of the coolest watches
ever made.

Did you know this was
the first watch

To include the date function
as a standard feature?

Ummmm!

Wow. No, I didn't
know that, man. Wow.

You really know way
too much about watches,
man.

I collect them, remember?

It's so great to have
new friends.

Hey....

Group hug.

Ooh, I like those.

I don't
know about...

Ow!ow!

Oh, my spinal cord!

[Beeping]

Hey, wait a second.

Wh--

Where's my watch?

Where's my--

I could have sworn I left that
watch right there on the shelf.

Naw. I don't know.

Why, that little thief!

No way.

I don't
believe that.

He must have swiped it
last night when I
wasn't looking.

How do you know it was mark
who stole your watch?

Yeah, maybe you lost it.

I didn't lose it, nosy.

Maybe it was
an escaped super-
intelligent lab rat

That stole
your watch.

It wasn't super rats.
It was mark, kel.

You saw how he was looking
at my watch.

Yeah. It was like this.

No, actually
it was more like this.

I'm a person that
has more watches than
a regular person ought to.

I really am.
Oh, and I'm a big old geek.

Hey, guys.

Oh!

Mark! Hey, what are you
doing here?

I just stopped by to get
some stuff for my mom.

Oh, that reminds me.

I have to go pick up
my mother from
the tattoo parlor.

Remember, kenan,
you shouldn't jump
to conclusions.

Thief!

Look at him.
I'll bet you he's wearing
my watch right now.

But I can't ask him,
'cause then he'll think
I'm on to him,

And he'll just hide
the watch.

So I'll ask him!

Wait, wait, wait, kel!

I don't want you
to ask him!

All right,
where's the watch?!

Oh...um...we...

Actually,
we wanna know
what time it is.

Well, there's a clock
right behind you.

Oh, yeah.

Well, look at that, kel.

There's a clock
on the wall here.

Well, why don't we
just see

What time this
clock says, huh?

Oh!!!!!

I accidentally broke
the clock. Oh!

Now who's gonna
tell me the time?

Oh, it's, uh, : .

Thank you, kel.
Thank you so much.

Now I have no reason
to see mark'swatch,
thanks to you.

No problem.

Boy, let me see
your watch!

Let me...oh, yeah!

Oh, that's
a lovely watch

That I've never seen
before in my life
is what that is.

Would you mind
letting go of my arm?

Oh, sorry.
Is that the time?

Oh, it's time for me
to go over there.
Sorry.

Ooh, ooh! Maybe it was ninjas
that took your watch.

Yes, it makes
perfect sense.

I know, because ninjas
are shadow warriors,

And they can
sneak in anywhere like...

♪ I'm a ninja,
I'm a ninja ♪

Stop that, man!

I ain't talking
about no ninja!

I was saying it
makes perfect sense

That he wouldn't wear
the watch that he
just stole from me

To the place
where I work.

If it isn't super rats
and ninjas then...

Oh, I don't know!
I give up.

That boy is a thief,

And I can prove it!

You go hide out there
by the front door.

Keep an eye
on this register,

And I'm gonna hide
in the back.

When mark takes
the money,

You yell,
and I'm gonna come
out and grab him.

Ha ha ha ha! Gotcha.

Boy, am I hungry!

Well, I tell you,

I'm just gonna
go get myself
something to eat.

So here I go...
Leaving the store.

Stop!

Hey, hey!

Aaaaaggggghhhhhh!

No, no! Let him go!

He didn't take
the money.

He didn't?

No.

Get off of me!
What are you doing?

Oh, i--i'm sorry, man.

I thought you were
someone else.

Who'd you think he was?

I thought he was
someone else!

I can't feel
my right hand.

Oh, I can.

I better go put
some ice on this.

Don't worry. I'll be o.k.

Sorry I wasn't who
you thought I was.

See you, fellas.

He--he really is
a nice guy.

He's a thief!

Where's the money?

Oh, yeah.
An old lady took it.

Wh--

An old lady took it?
Kel, why didn't you
do something?

You told me to yell only
if mark took the money.

Whyyyyyy?!

Aw, man! Chris is
gonna k*ll me.

How am I supposed to get
the money back, man?!

Well, at least you know
mark's not a thief.

No, I don't! Maybe he
just steals watches.

Hey, hey, hey.
You mark my words.

If it's the last thing I do,

I'm gonna expose mark graham
for the thief that he is,

And I will get my watch back!

How?

I have no idea, man.

Come on, kel.
We got some planning to do.

What are you two
still doing here?

Aren't you supposed
to be at the movies
with the grahams?

Yes, we are, as soon
as your father

Finishes writing
"chronometer"
on his arm.

Here you go.
Take it with you.

Come on, let's go.

You gotta find
a new method
of cheating.

Start the car up.

Buckle up for safety.

Enjoy your evening
with the grahams now.

Kenan, are trying
to get rid of us?

Oh, no!
Why would you
say that?

[Thump]

Oh, good. You brought
the paint.

Yeah. I brought
orangepaint.

Oh, wonderful.

Now, come on, man.
Look. I've already got
the drawer rigged. See?

So all you gotta do
is hang this paint
on the thingy there,

And I'll prove
he's a thief yet.

How's this gonna prove
he's a thief?

Well, kel,
when he sees me

Put this watch
in the drawer,

He'll try
to steal it.

Then when he opens
the drawer,

He'll be covered
in orange paint.

[Doorbell rings]

Whoo! That must
be him. Hurry!

Oh, oh, and k-k-kel!
Be careful, man.

Hey, hey! Kel.

Don't break my mom's
porcelain monkey.

Mark! So nice
to see you.

Yeah. Thanks
for inviting me over.

Oh! You know.

Wow! Wow! Wow!

Whoa! Is that a new watch?

Oh, what,
this old thing?

Oh, no. It's nothing.

Oh, well, I guess it is
expensive and cool,

But I don't like
to brag, you know.

Can I see it?

Maybe later.

For now, I'll just put
this little watch

In the drawer
over here, huh?

[Humming]

What do you guys wanna do?

First why don't
kel and I

Get you a little drink
from the kitchen?

Come on, kel, let's you
and I leave our guest
entirely alone

While we fetch him
a tasty beverage

From the other room!
Come on, kel.

Walk in the door.

Now, this is it, kel.

O.k.

Now all we gotta do

Is wait on the sound
of the spilling paint.

Mm-hmm. Mm-mmm.
That's all we do.

O.k.

Yeah. Anytime now.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Here we are waiting.

Guys?

Everything o.k.?

Shh! Don't speak.
He's trying to see

If the coast is clear,
no doubt.

You guys
still in there?

Oh, he's coming in!
Oh! Hide!

If he thinks we're gone,
he'll surely take the watch!

Guys?

Hello.

Uh-huh. This is it, kel.
He's making his move.

[Door shuts]

That's funny.

I thought paint
would make more

Of a splooshy sound.

That wasn't paint, man.
Come on.

He's gone!

Aw, man! He didn't even
touch the drawer.

Well, maybe he's not
a thief after all.

Yeah. Maybe he's a crook.

Kel, a crook and a thief
are the same thing, man.

Wha--

My mom's porcelain monkey!

What about it?

It's gone!

He took my mama's
porcelain monkey!

Oh, that's it!
You can take my watch,

But nobody--ha ha ha ha ha--

I say nobodyyyyy

Takes my mama's
porcelain...monkey!

Come on, kel.

Where are we going?

To get my stuff back.
Come on, boy.

We're going in.

Yeah.

Hello?

Hello.

Not you, man! Never mind.

Just help me find my stuff
before someone comes home.

Hey, I'm gonna check
in the kitchen.

Don't bother
with the kitchen, kel.

It's not gonna be--
aw, man!

[Crash]

Man, what the--

Kel? Kel, you all right?

It's not in
the chocolate syrup.

It's not
in the peanut
butter either.

Oh, man, never mind.

You know, kenan,
I was thinking, man.

I doubt that.

Kel, get your hands
off the couch!

Do you always have
to invent new ways
to make a mess?

[Footsteps]

Did you hear that?

Get your peanut buttery
hands off of me!

[Stomping]

Someone's coming.
Quick, hide!

Come on, brother!
Come on.

Phew! Aw, man,
that was close.

Well, come on, kel.
Let's go check up
in mark's room.

Let's go. Come on.
Come on, kel.
Let's go.

Wait, kel!

Ne-never mind, man.

Just help me find
the monkey and
the watch.

Euw!

Well...come on, kel.
Start looking.

Oh, and try not
to mess anything up.

Gotcha.

Kel, kel!

Kel! Man...

What are you doing?!

Looking for your watch.

Would you wipe that stuff
off your hands before you
make an even bigger mess?

If that's even possible.

Hey! What's this?

[Rattling]

A jewelry box!

And it's locked too.
I'll betcha this
is where he keeps
those watches.

Uh-huh. Hey, kel, I think
I found where...

Hmmmmmmmm!

Come on, kel, man.
Let's just get this baby
back to my house

And try to break it open.
I think we got 'em now.
Come on.

Hit it again.

O.k., Here it goes.

Aaaagggghhhhh!

Give me
the hammer, man!

Ah! Ah!

There we go.

Mm-hmm.

Ooh, look at all
those watches.

What an awful movie.

Are you kidding?
That was great!
Yeah!

Aaggghhh! What happened
to my coffee table?!

And what happened
to you?

Forget about all that.

I got some big news
to tell.

We've been robbed!

What?

Somebody broke in,
and they trashed
everything!

They unmade my bed,
and they got peanut butter
all over my underwear! And...

Why do you have
my jewelry box?

Because I took
your jewelry box,
mark,

If that is
your realname.

Yeah!

That's right,
you weren't robbed.

That was me and kel.

Yeah!

Mark here stole my watch,

So we went over there
and stole it back,

Ain't that right?
Give it to me!

I'm sorry.

Yeah, yeah.
See, he is a thief,

And I have proof of it
right here.

My watchis in
hisjewelry box!

Yeah!

Uh-huh. Now what you
got to say, huh?

How're you gonna
spill your way out
of this one, mr. Thief?

Mister t-h-e-a-f-e!

That is not your watch.

And you spelled
thief wrong!

This is your watch.

I took it to have
a new band put
on it.

It was supposed
to be a surprise.

Yeah!

♪ Surprise! ♪

Ha ha ha ha! Oh, look
at you, look at you!
You look surprised!

Ha ha ha ha!
♪ We got you,
we got you ♪

Ha ha ha ha ha!

What do you mean "surprise"?

I helped your daddy
take the watch,

So you wouldn't know.
Ha ha! Yeah!

You knew that my daddy
took the watch?!

Yeah.

And you didn't
say anything?!

Well, your daddy
told me not to.

It's a surprise.
You don't tell
a surprise!

Surprise!

Whyyyyy?!

I am so a-n-g-r-y.

You're hungry?

All: angry!!!!!!

You are the worst neighbors
in the entire world!

Wait! Wait!

I...i...

Listen. Kenan will
be at your house
every weekend

Until it's cleaned up.

And I'll pay for
all the damages.

Just let me get
to my checkbook,

And everything
will be all right.

Aaaaaggggghhhhhh!

Kenan!!!!!!!!!!