03x08 - Tony! Toni! Toné!

[bunniefuu]

Hey, hey, guys, has anybody seen...

[Hiccup!]

Oh, man. I'm sorry. Anyway...

[Hiccup!]

Oh, I think josh has the hiccups.

Ya think?

Hey, I know the best way

To get rid of the hiccups.

Toss me a paper bag.

Now josh, hold your breath.

O.k.

Now I put this paper bag over your head...

All right.

I take this safety pin and...

Ow!

Oh!

You see, your hiccups are gone.

Amanda, why'd you have to go

And stick me with a giant...

[Hiccup!]

Oh, well.

I know a much better way to get rid of the hiccups.

Anybody got a fish?

I got a halibut.

Oh, that'll work.

Alisa, what are you gonna do with the fish?

My grandmother always said

That the best way to help someone

Get rid of the hiccups is to fish slap 'em!

Excuse me? Did you say "fish slap" 'em?"

Yeah. Hold your breath and close your eyes.

If you say so.

Ready?

--!

Well?

[Hiccup!]

Oh, whatever.

Man, none of you know the first thing

About curing hiccups.

First of all, you've got to take

A big old giant bucket of molasses

And pour it over his head, like this.

Oh, I wish you wouldn't.

Yeah.

And then you take a big old bag of birdseed...

Thank you, sugar.

And you pour that over his head, too, like this.

There you go.

I'm feeling weird.

Now all I need is a big old bowl of ice.

Anybody got a bowl of ice?

I do.

Um--keenan...

Now you just pour the ice down his pants

And it's bye-bye hiccups.

Uh--keenan, can't we discuss this?

No, ain't gonna be no discussion.

Just let the ice go down the pants.

[In high voice] cold.

Oh, it's cold.

Oh!

Ah! Yah!

Oh!

Oh!

That was pretty funny.

He was like--oh!

And then he was...

Oh, man.

[Hiccup!]

Let's get him!

Fresh out the box.

Stop, look, and watch.

Ready yet? Get set.

It'sall that.

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪

♪ Check it, check it

♪ Now, this is just an introduction ♪

♪ Before we blow your mind ♪

♪ The show is all of that ♪

♪ And yes, we do it all the time ♪

♪ So sit your booty on the floor ♪

♪ Or in a chair

♪ On the ground or in the air ♪

♪ Just don't go nowhere

♪ 'Cause everything we do

♪ Is all of that

♪ We're entertaining you

♪ We're all of that

♪ My posse and my crew

♪ It's all of that

♪ So sit still

♪ 'Cause we're comin' right back ♪

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪

♪ Check it out

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪♪

[Loud cheering]

Captioning made possible by nickelodeon

And u.s. Department of education

Hello! I'm okra winfrey.

Today's topic, self-defense.

As you all know,

We all live in a crazy, topsy-turvy world.

There's a lot of bullies and other evil people out there.

And it's up to each and every one of us

To be prepared to defend ourselves at all times.

And to help teach us about self-defense,

Please welcome police officer duncan!

[Loud cheering and applause]

Thank you, okra.

It's great to be here.

Ooh.

Oh.

Got a cramp.

Now, can you teach us a little about self-defense?

[Wheezing]

Uh--yes.

Yes, I can, okra.

Now, what should we as citizens

Know about self-defense?

Well, say some kid is walking to school...

Mm-hmm?

And then some punk comes up to him

And tries to snatch his lunch meal away.

Dah! Oh, my!

Exactly.

Ooh, okra, it's hot in here.

Oh, I know.

Turn on the a.c. Oh.

All right.

Anyway,

If that kid doesn't want to end up lunch-less,

Then he might have to defend himself from that bully punk.

How can a child go about defending himself?

Oh, there's lots of ways, really.

I myself, I use karate.

[Audience cheers]

Oh, karate.

Well, could you show us some karate

Right here, right now?

Why sure, okra.

[Audience cheers]

All right, okra.

Now why don't you come at me and demand my lunch.

Oh, me?

Well, let me get ready.

All right. Hold on.

O.k.

O.k.

All right.

Hey, you!

Give me your tuna fish sandwich, right now!

That's good.

Now, why don't you thrust at me.

O.k., Here I thrust.

Karate!

Good heavens!

That was very effective.

I noticed you hit me in my right shoulder.

Would it work on my left shoulder, also?

Oh, why sure. Watch. Karate!

Oh!

[Audience cheers]

Oh!

Um...

I...

I feel the hurt.

Our next guest used to be a musician,

But now she teaches self-defense

In her hometown of montclair, new jersey.

Please welcome brenda shate.

Hi, okra! I'm brenda.

Hi. I see you brought your violin.

What do you know about self-defense?

Well, okra, I spent tedious years

Learning how to play the violin.

Then when a bully picked on me at school,

I discovered that music could be used as self-defense.

Oh, well, how?

Whoo!

Oh!

Oh.

Oh, well.

Thank you for that music interlude.

Um--oh...

Look at that. I'm bleeding!

Well, our next guest is a mean, vicious woman

From dallas, texas.

Please welcome francine smith.

Ow!

How you doin', ok?

Well, I'm a little bit dizzy, but...

Tell us about your self-defense strategy.

Well, ok, every halloween

A bunch of bratty kids egg my house.

Yeah, and I got sick of it.

So to defend myself,

I invented this thing I call...

Brat-away.

Wow. And how does brat-away work?

I'm trying to tell you!

So say you're a bratty kid

Who's been egging houses all night

And you come to egg my house,

But then you see this comfortable-looking lounge chair

Sitting in the middle of my lawn.

So you decide to sit down and take a load off.

Sit!

Well, I do feel a little fatigued.

Like I care!

Oh!

Well, ooh, it is comfortable.

Um--but-- why do you call it brat-away?

You'll figure it out.

I--i feel the hurt.

Join us next time

When our next topic will be

Hospitals.

And now, lori beth denberg

With more vital information

For your everyday life.

If you accidentally flush your friend down the toilet,

You've either got a huge toilet

Or a teeny little friend!

The early bird gets the worm.

Fine! I don't want the worm!

Eenie-meenie-miney-mo.

Catch a tiger by his toe.

If he hollers,

Let go of his toe before the tiger kills you.

This has been lori beth denberg

With vital information.

♪ This is all that

♪ This is all that

And then, the mad magician

Says to the micro physicist,

He says,

"It's not a quadratic equation,

It's an improper fraction!"

Whoa! Improper fraction!

[Lisping] hello, geeks!

Hello, noreen!

I'd like to start this meeting of the geek club...

Geek! Geek! Geek!

Geek! Geek! Geek!

O.k., Calm down.

Now, I'd like to start this meeting of the geek club...

Geek!

By handing out a few geek ribbons.

First off, let's have a hand for wanda ferber,

Who managed to throw up in the cafeteria yesterday

In front of the entire student body.

Yay!

Wanda!

Thanks. I always throw up my egg salad.

Good for you, wanda.

That's very geek-like behavior.

Uh-oh.

Show off!

[Geeky laugh]

[Wheezing]

That was close.

Anyhow, our next geek ribbon

Goes to...

Wally snottinghead.

Days ago, wally set a new record

By getting b*at up on the playground

An amazing days in a row.

Geek-geek-geek!

Thank you, noreen.

Thank you, fellow geeks.

Um...

Ow!

By the way,

If anyone wants to come see tomorrow after lunch,

I'm gonna be beaten up

By the entire french club.

Qui qui, monsieur!

O.k.

Um--time for a few...

Mm, looks like we have a visitor.

Who are you?

Oh, uh--hey, how are you all doing?

I'm tre.

Trevon williams.

Um--what are you doing here?

Well, um-- I'm a geek.

Geek, geek.

You don't look like a geek.

He do not smell like no geek!

You do not have a retainer

Or any other kind of corrective apparatus attached to your head.

You don't even have glasses, do you, eyes?!

[All shouting]

Come on, y'all, I'm a geek.

I'm one of you all.

No. Uh-uh.

If you're really a geek,

Then...

I knew it! You're a jock!

Jock!

Jock! Jock!

J-j-j-jock!

W-what I do?

Well, if you were really a geek,

Then you would have done this.

[Wheezing]

Um--um...

Why don't you just come out and admit who you are?

Admit it! Admit it!

Just say it.

O.k.

I mean, if you want me to say it, I'll say it.

Y'all ain't gotta be pushing me.

I--um...

I'm a jock!

I'm coordinated, o.k.?

I'm the quarterback of the football team.

Jock!

What's football?

Shh!

I mean, I'm popular.

I've even kissed a girl.

Oh!

You know, um...

Weeping like a sissy

In front of a bunch of people

Is about as geeky as it gets.

Maybe we can let you in the geek club after all.

Thanks.

Everybody, let's welcome trevon into the geek club

With a group wedgie!

Yeah!

A wedgie, yeah!

One...

...

!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Oh!

There's a letter in my mailbox!

Ah! Ah!

Geeks dismissed!

O.k.

♪ This is all that ♪♪

And now,all that presents

A semi-educational moment.

"Everyday french" with pierre escargot.

[Speaking made up french]

Oh! Ho ho!

Oh!

Wow!

Que un elephant drink a lot.

Ho ho ho!

Ho ho!

Hi, everyone.

It's time for "ask ashley."

That's me!

I'm ashley,

And I'm back to answer more of your letters.

Our first letter comes from

Claudia thomas of clearlake, iowa.

Claudia writes...

"Dear ashley."

That's me!

"Dear ashley,

"I live in a -story house

"And my room's upstairs.

"Every morning when it's time to go to school,

"I jump out the window.

"So far, I've broken my leg times.

Do you have any helpful suggestions for me?"

Well, claudia,

I do have a little suggestion for you.

Use the stinking stairs!

The stairs, einstein!

I'm claudia,

And I jump out the window

Because bladee-bladee bla!

Just use the stinking stairs!

Man!

Are you sure you broke your leg?

'Cause it sounds like you fell on your head

And broke your stinking brain!

Our next letter comes from...

Mary schmidt of butler, pennsylvania.

Mary writes,

"Dear ashley."

That's me!

"Dear ashley,

"For some reason,

"People never pay any attention to me.

"No one seems to care about me

"Or anything I have to say.

How come everyone always ignores me?"

Our next letter comes from...

Eugene blain, milwaukee, wisconsin.

Eugene writes,

"Dear ashley--"

That's me!

"Dear ashley,

"I smell bad.

"Every day I seem to smell worse and worse,

"And I get dirtier and dirtier.

"Even my own grandmother says I stink like bad ham.

What should I do?"

Eugene, come here.

Closer. Closer.

A little bit closer.

[Slapping sound]

Take a stinking bath!

For crying out loud,

Just wash yourself before you make me

And everyone else sick!

Better yet,

Why don't you just take a trip to clearlake, iowa,

Go over to claudia thomas' house,

Stand outside under her second story window.

That way, when she jumps down,

She'll have something soft and stupid to land on!

Well, that's all the advice I have for you today.

Bye-bye, everybody.

All that proudly presents

Life with peter & flem.

After doing his homework,

Peter relaxes by watching public television.

Flem watches underwear!

After dinner,

Peter enjoys a fresh piece of fruit for dessert,

Like an apple.

Flem eats a bag of sugar!

Hey, clavis! Wake up.

The show's over.

Oh, yeah. Kick it!