05x14 - Joey McIntyre

[bunniefuu]

So, he says, "I don't know what that was in the cereal."

Oh, my goodness.

Hey, mark.

[Wordlessly mouthing]

What's wrong, amanda? What are you trying to say?

[Mouthing]

What? A kangaroo stole your pocketbook? What?

I understand. You want me to throw you through that wall?

Come on, girl, come on.

No, wait. I think she's trying to tell us she lost her voice.

Ohh!ohh!

Well, let's help her find it. Come on.

Hey, hey, guys. I think I found something.

It feels like amanda's voice.

No. It's just a giant poisonous tarantula.

I think I found something back here.

Oh...

Oh, it's not amanda's voice at all.

It's just a hockey player.

Hey, guys. I love your show.

Oh, thanks, hockey player.

I got to get back to the rink.

I got a big game tonight.

Hope you find your voice.

Whoa! Hey, look, guys, I found it. It's in the fridge,

Right behind the chinese food.

Amanda's voice.

[From jar] yep, I'm in here.

Tha-a-a-at's me!

[Coughs]

[Clears throat]

Ahhhhhh.

That's better. Thanks, guys.

[Yelling] now I'm going to do bad things,

Like take over the world and litter!

Yaaaaaah!

[Screaming]

Wait a minute! This doesn't say "amanda's voice."

It says...

Evilamanda's voice!

Ohh! What are we going to do?!

Let's go do the show.

Ok.all right. Yay!

Fresh out the box.

Stop, look, and watch.

Ready yet? Get set.

It'sall that.

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ Check it, check it

♪ Now, this is just an introduction ♪

♪ Before we blow your mind ♪

♪ The show is all of that ♪

♪ And yes, we do it all the time ♪

♪ So sit your booty on the floor ♪

♪ Or in a chair

♪ On the ground or in the air ♪

♪ Just don't go nowhere

♪ 'Cause everything we do

♪ Is all of that

♪ When entertaining you

♪ We're all of that

♪ My posse and my crew

♪ Is all of that

♪ So sit still

♪ 'Cause we're comin' right back ♪

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ Check it out

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ This is all that ♪

Captioning made possible by nickelodeon and u.s. Department of education

Man! The first day of summer vacation.

Yeah. I'm just going to kick back, relax,

And enjoy our day at the beach.

This is so much better than going to school.

♪ Doo-doo-doo, doo doo, dee-doo-doo, dee-doo ♪

Well, hello there, my little sun-worshipin'...

An-gellllls.

Miss piddlin, what are you doing at the beach?

Well, as the cafeteria lady,

It is my responsibility

To travel to even the most dangerous corners of the earth

To make sure that my children are properly nourished.

What's so dangerous about the beach?

Well, for starters,

You are exposed to all these harmful sun rays.

Yeah. That's why I brought my sunblock.

Oh, sunblock. Isn't that cute?

Can I see your sunblock? Oh, thank you, baby.

Look at the little sun--

[Splash]

Whoop! Miss piddlin accidentally dropped your sunblock.

But never fear. I have what you need.

Hold on.

Yeah...

Pea block. Yeah.

♪ Let me show ya

Ahh...oh...

Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. Ah, yeah.

Whooo!

♪ Here we go

Here we go. Don't move! Here, come on.

That's right. Yeah, there you go.

Yeah! Yeah!

Now you're all protected from the sun's harmful rays.

Aw. Now I smell like stinky peas!

I'm sorry,

But I thought I heard you say "stinky peas."

I think all this heat is making you delirious.

Oh, no. It was no mistake.

I did say stinky peas!

Just checkin'.

Now you got peas all in your face!

All in your face, huh? How they smell to you now,

Mr. Peas up your nose? How they smell to you now?

Miss piddlin, calm down!

Whoop! Miss piddlin almost let her maniacal rage

Get the best of her.

You guys, look. I built a sand castle.

Pretty neat, huh?

Yeah.yeah, cool.

Oh, why, yes, baby, that is very neat,

But let me ask you a question.

Why build a sand castle out of sand

When you can use peas?

Let me show you.

[Humming]

Oh. Yeah...

There. Isn't it pretty?

I guess, but what kind of psycho

Builds a sand castle out of peas?

Well-l-l-l-l, mr. Psycho-logist.

Maybe you should pay less attention to

My delicate mental condition

And more attention to the weather.

The weather? Why the weather?

Because, hurricane piddlin's a-coming,

And I'm going to do some damage. Yeah!

[Growling and hollering]

Whoop!

Careful, miss piddlin.

You don't want that nasty rumor getting out

That you're a menace to society.

Man: help! Someone help me!

Oh, no! That guy's drowning!

Yeah. We better do something.

Well, never fear, children.

Miss piddlin will save the young lad.

Julio!

I'm coming, miss piddlin. Here you go.

Hey, good luck with your lifesaving, ok?

Please don't hurt me. Aaaahh!

Oh, my, a life preserver.

Thank you very much, julio.

Aaahh!

Help! Help me! Hel-l-l-lp!

Don't worry, baby.

Miss piddlin is a-comin'.

[Baywatchstyle music plays]

I got you, boy.

Oh, no! He's unconscious.

Don't worry, children. I know c. Pea.r.

Get up.

Ah, he's ok.

[All sigh with relief]

Man, what's going on here?

What's all this green stuff on my face?

You were drowning,

So I saved your life with the peas.

I can't stand peas. Peas is icky!

Icky?!

Boy, I saved your life with these peas,

And you have the nerve to call them icky?!

All right. I didn't mean to offend the peas.

What was that?

Oh, I'm sorry. Your apology was not accepted.

You're going back in the water, boy.

Aaaaah!

Stop!

You don't have to be upset.

You should be happy.

You just saved somebody's life.

You're a hero.

I'm a--what? I am a hero, aren't i?

Well, me and the peas are heroes.

Let's celebrate by singing a song about peas.

Julio!

[Plays off-key]

♪ Did you ever know

♪ That you're my pea-ro?

♪ You're everything I wish I could pea ♪

♪ I say--i say, I could fly higher ♪

♪ Than a pea-gle

♪ 'Cause you are the plate beneath my peas ♪

Sing it!

♪ Did you ever know

♪ That you're my pea-ro?

♪ You're everything I wish I could pea... ♪

And now, danny tamberelli

With vital information for your everyday life.

It's rude to walk into a forest and yell out,

"Hey, you trees are a bunch of morons!

"And you know what? If you want to do something about it,

Just come over here and get me!"

"Danny, get out of the way.

A bowling ball is about to fall on your head."

What's so funny about that?

Oh...oh...

If someone hands you a note

That says a bowling ball is about to fall on your head,

Get out of the way.

This has been vital information for your everyday life.

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ This is all that ♪

And now all thatpresents

Seymour reacts to stuff.

Today, seymour's watching a chicken cross the road...

[Clucking]

In heavy traffic.

[Tires screech]

[Car horn honks]

[Crash]

You've just seen seymour react to stuff.

Yaaaaaaaah!

I'm coach kreeton, and coach kreeton doesn't want to be here,

Because coach kreeton hates

Every one of you little wicked children!

Where am I again?

You're substitute-teaching science class.

Yeah, and today we brought in our science projects.

Huh? Well, that's cool. I'll just sit back

And watch you do your little science projects.

Aaaaaahhh!

Who's first?

[Whispers] I am.

Come on up. Heh heh.

For my science project,

I brought in this cinder block here,

To demonstrate a basic principle of physics--

What goes up must come down.

[Mutters]

Aaaaahhhh!

Oh, my head! It's in a lot of misery!

Hey, benny. Does the same principle of physics

Apply to larger objects like that computer monitor?

There's only one way to find out.

Aaaaahhh!

Coach kreeton is on the internet!

W-w dot dot dot dot com! Aaaahh!

I would get all of you little miserable martian spawn

If coach kreeton wasn't feelin' so much hurt pain!

Grrrrr!

Benny? I'm feelin' a lot of dislike for you, benny.

You know what-- aaaahh!

Who's next?

Um, I'm going to demonstrate conservation of momentum.

Observe how each ball transfers its momentum to the next ball.

Move--aaaah!

Ow! Coach kreeton would appreciate it

If you didn't do that again.

Do what again? This?

What? Owwwwwwww!

Ow! Ow! Turn the--

Turn your little machine off!

Sorry, coach kreeton.

I'm giving you an "h"

For all that hate that I have for you.

Now, sit down.

Let's get back on with the pain!

That is my life. Next.

Um, i--i have a project.

Um, for my science project,

I'm going to demonstrate how...

A direct blow to the head causes pain.

Observe. Ok.

Owwwwwwwwwww!

My nose! My sniffin' nose!

Ow! What does that have to do with science?

Nothing. You got me, coach kreeton.

I didn't really do my homework.

I just made that up just then.

I'm about to make up somethin'.

I'm about to make up somethin'.

I'm next!

I see you. Come on.

Ok, well, for my science project,

I made a real, lifelike volcano

With real boiling-hot lava,

And when I press this red button here,

It's going to erupt.

Ooooh.

Ok, you press--oh!

Ha ha ha! Oh, it doesn't work.

Aw, junky toy! Junky toy!

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Well, you're not the sad son of a man that I've become now, woman--

[Hollers]

All right! Ow!

Don't worry, coach kreeton. I'll help you with my science project.

It's a high-powered laser beam.

What? [Buzzing]

Aaaahh! Stop it!

Turn it off!

Oh, it hurts! The pain! The pain!

Aaahh! Turn it off, you freak!

Ahhhhhhh! The life I live, it's sad.

Awwwwww.

And now, all thatpresents a semieducational moment--

Everyday french with pierre escargot.

[Speaking french phonetically]

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh!

[Speaking french phonetically]

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

[Speaking french phonetically]

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

♪ This is all that ♪

Man: hi-i-i-i, everyone.

It's time for a-a-a-sk ash-le-e-ey.

Tha-a-a-a-a-at's me!

Hi. I'm ashley, and I'm here to answer more of your letters.

Our first letter comes from

Jason mercadini of newton, new jersey.

Jason writes, "dear ashley..."

Tha-a-a-a-a-at's me!

"Dear ashley, at dinner last night,

"I ate this weird food that was sitting next to my plate.

"It was long and shiny and had prongs.

"It tasted like metal, and it was kind of hard to chew.

Ashley, what kind of food did I eat?"

Well, jason, I don't think you ate food.

I think...

[Hollers] you ate a stinking fork!

A fork, you utensil-chomping stooge!

At least there's something in your stomach,

Because there's obviously nothing in your head!

Aaaahh! Aaahh!

Our next letter comes from...

Jacqueline vedera of australia.

Jacqueline writes, "dear ashley..."

Tha-a-a-a-a-at's me!

"Dear ashley, I feel like I'm different from everyone else.

"I'm furry, I hop from place to place,

"And I have a pouch in my stomach that I carry my baby around in.

"I used to live in the wild, but now I live in a zoo.

Ashley, why am I so different from other people?"

Hmm, jacqueline, maybe it's because...

You're a stinkin' kangaroo!

A very special kangaroo who can write letters,

But a kangaroo nonetheless!

It's a shame that you're the only kangaroo in the world who can write,

Because everything you have to say is so stinking stupid!

Aaaahhh!

[Gasping]

Our next letter comes from...

Tyler sacklad, from somewhere off the coast of south america.

Tyler writes, "dear ashley..."

Tha-a-a-a-a-at's me!

"Dear ashley, ever since my boat sank,

"I've been vacationing on this island.

"There are no other people, no buildings,

"Not even a phone.

"I'm extremely sunburned,

"And I haven't eaten anything in over a year.

"Ashley, why is this vacation so terrible?

P.s. I love your show."

Well, tyler, maybe it's because you're not on a bad vacation...

You're stranded on a stinking desert island,

You marooned moron!

[In stupid voice] my name is tyler,

And I think I'm on a bad vacation,

And blah-dee blah-dee blah-dee blah-dee blah!

Tell you what, if you can get off that island,

You should go to australia and visit that stupid letter-writing kangaroo!

Maybe if you get in her pouch,

She'll hop you on over to jason mercadini's house,

And if you're still starving,

I'm sure he'll cook you up a nice fork!

Aaaaahhh!

[Gasping]

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Well, that's all the advice I have for you today.

Bye-bye, everybody.

And now, all thatpresents...

When at school, don't speak unless the teacher calls you,

And when the teacher does call on you,

Don't ever say this...

Hey, teacher, I dare you to give me an "f", you big, smelly doofus.

This has been...

The show's over.

Oh, yeah. Kick it!