05x20 - New Radicals

[bunniefuu]

All right. I'll see your artichokes

And I'll raise you this sour carton of milk!

Oh, not with the milk.

Aw, that's too rich for my blood.

Hey, mark. Whatcha doin'?

Oh, I found this old treasure map.

Treasure map? Oooh.

Yeah, I started reading the instructions and it led me here.

You mean to tell me there's some kind of treasure

Hidden around here somewhere?

Yeah, it's in a secret hiding place.oh, yeah.

We have to follow the instructions to find it.

Let me see that.

Wow. It says, "first kiss the big ear of corn."

[All kissing]

Now it says, "take one giant step to the left...

"One giant step forward...

"One giant step to the right...

And one giant step back."

Well, that was interesting.

Let me check it out.

Now it says, uh, "hurt danny."

Huh? What?

Ow!

Man, it really didn't say "hurt danny." I was just joking.

You got me good.

Aw, you're a good sport, man.

Pretty good one.

What's it say next?

Ah, well, now it says, "to uncover the secret of the treasure,

Look under the cushion with the big red x on it."

Hey.

I never noticed that big red x before.

Look under the cushion, danny.

Yeah, it's gonna be great, man.

But--but--

Di-di-di--

No, wait a minute. This doesn't say "treasure map".

It says, "trouser map".

Well, let's say we go do the show, huh?

All right.

Fresh out the box.

Stop, look, and watch.

Ready yet? Get set.

It's all that.

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪

♪ Check it, check it

♪ Now, this is just an introduction ♪

♪ Before we blow your mind ♪

♪ The show is all of that ♪

♪ And yes, we do it all the time ♪

♪ So sit your booty on the floor ♪

♪ Or in a chair

♪ On the ground or in the air ♪

♪ Just don't go nowhere

♪ 'Cause everything we do

♪ Is all of that

♪ When entertaining you

♪ We're all of that

♪ My posse and my crew

♪ Is all of that

♪ So sit still

♪ 'Cause we're comin' right back ♪

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪

♪ Check it out

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪♪

Captioning made possible by nickelodeon and u.s. Department of education

[In french accent] bon jour,art class!

Is everybody excited to paint?

No. No. No. No.

Great!

So I have hired a professional model

To come here and pose for you today,

But he accidentally swallowed his car keys,

So I will be your model. I will stand here and you will paint me

Exactly as I am, down to the last detail.

Ready? Begin!

Ok! Let's see how you are doing.

Hey! How are we supposed to paint you

If you're moving around?

[Yelling] I'm billy fuco!

Models are supposed to stand still!

Oh, you are right.

I am so sorry, little fuco.

But that--that's not the same pose you were doing before.

Oh, you are right. Was it this?

How about this?

What about this?

Wait--wait. Fine--fine.

Just stand still so we can paint you.

Man, being a model is tough work.

You know, this is boring.

I think this is a good time to catch up on a little exercise.

Some yumping yacks, maybe?

Ah! A-deux, a-trois...

Hey, you're moving again!

Oh, little fuco, I suggest you do a little more painting

And a little less talking.

If you expect to get a good grade on the assign-a-ment.

Fine, but just stand still!

Oh...whew. That was a good workout.

I think I'm going to change my sweaty shirt.

Hey, you can't do that. I'm painting you in your other shirt.

Yes, but this one is so much more interesting,

Do you not think so?

Don't forget to paint the back.

Man, that's the mona lisa.

It took leonardo dicaprio years to paint that, fool.

Not leonardo dicaprio.

Leonardo da vinci!

Oh.

Oh, come on, class.

Am I really that hard to paint?

Great, now you have arms!

Oh! So I do.

I better go talk to the nurse about this.

Keep painting, students!

What in the name of fudge

Are we supposed to paint now?

Instructor: me, of course!

Ok, I took care of that third arm thing.

Ok, so finish your projects so I can grade them.

Nice 'fro. Who your barber is?

Are you almost done?

Hurry it up!

Man, I give up.

You ain't even the same person!

Yeah, you changed to an old lady!

Shut your yappers and paint!

We're trying to.

That's more like it.

Oh. Well, g*ng,

Let's see what you have got.

How about you, famish?

Uh, this is the best I could do.

Aw, "d" minus.

Bingo?

Man, what was up with them arms?

"D" minus.

What about you?

Impressive!

Oh, this is terrible!

Oh, yes, this looks nothing like me.

It is definitely the worst painting I have ever seen.

You get an "f" minus.

What? I managed to paint a perfect portrait of you

As an old lady in less than seconds

And you give me an "f" minus?

Yes, because I did not ask you to paint an old lady.

None of you students followed my instructions!

I want you to paint me. Paint me!

If you say so. Let's paint him.

Yeah. Ha ha!

What? Oh, that's a good brushstroke.

Ok, good job, billy fuco.

Paint me, students.

Yes, yes, paint me.

And now, danny tamberelli

With vital information for your everyday life.

If your name is oliver,

And you have a scoop of ice cream on your head,

Then congratulations!

You're oliver a la mode!

If you wanna ask a girl out on a date,

Ask 'em on life television. It'll really impress 'em.

Hey. You.

Third row.

You, uh...you wanna go out with me?

No.

[Exhales]

[Clears throat]

When it rains, it pours.

When it rains golf balls, it hurts.

This has been danny tamberelli with vital information.

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ This is all that ♪

And now, all thatpresents

Seymour reacts to stuff.

Today, seymour is watching a marching band...

[Marching music plays]

...march off a cliff.

[Screams]

You've just seen seymour react to stuff.

And now, channel b presents....

What-ever-r-r-r-r-r-r-r!

With gina and jessica.

Like, hello.

Like, hi.

Like, my name is gina.

And, like, my name is jessica.

And, like, welcome to

Whateverrr! Whateverrr!

With gina...and jessica-a-a-a-a!

Ok? Ok.

Ok? Ok.

Ok? Ok.

Ok! Ok!

Ok, like today on whatever!

We have, like, our very first...

Yeah. Contestants are gonna compete in categories

For the title of mister whatever!

The first category is fashion.

Yeah, and our first contestant to come out is

Francis the caveman.

[Dance music plays]

Ok. The pelt francis is wearing

Is a blend of woolly mammoth

And saber- t-t-t-toothed tiger.

And check out that club, fresh from the fall line

Of, like, designer clubwear.

Thank you, francis.

Yeah.

Ok, and our next contestant is

The principal of dullmont junior high school,

Principal william baines pimpel.

Now principal pimpel is, like,

Wearing a suit he bought years ago at a garage sale

Yeah, and he's worn it ever since.

Thank you. Bye.thank you, principal pimpel.

And our last, but by no means least

Mister whatever contestant is bernie kibbitz.

[Groans]

What? What do you want from me?

Bernie is wearing, like, brown polyester pants

Pulled up to his armpits.

Yeah. And the cologne he's wearing is

Scent of old people.

Ok. That's enough with the walking.

I'm shvitzing here!

Ok. Ok.

Ok.

Ok! Ok!

Ok, now it's time for our talent competition!

Yeah. Francis, you're first.

Uh...me...me draw on cave wall.

There. Pretty pictures of gina and jessica.

Ugh!

Like I'd really be caught dead

Wearing a skirt like that!

That is so-o-o-o last week. I know.

Oh, my gosh. Ok.

Principal pimpel, you're up next. What's your talent?

Well, i, myself, have no talent to speak of,

But, uh, my pimple can dance. Watch me!

[Funk music plays]

Ewwwwwwwww! Ewwwwwwwww!

Ok, that was just sick.

Ok, so bernie kibbitz, like, what can you do?

Well, in my day, I was quite skilled at the art of gymnastics.

[Groans]

Are you, like, sure you want to do that?

You might hurt yourself.

Hurt, shmurt! Now get out of my way!

Here bernie goes!

Oy!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Bernie broke his tookus.

Bernie broke his tookus.

Ok, well, the contestants

Are totally, like, neck and neck.

And now we're entering the final round.

Both: the question round!

Ok? Ok.

Ok? Ok.

Ok. Ok.

Ok! Ok!

Now the final question is...

If you were stranded on, like, a desert island,

Like, who would you want with you,

And, like, what would you use for, like, your nail polish?

Uh, well, i--i--i would wanna have a...

Pet dinosaur with me, uh, uh, and I would use, uh,

Nail polish from the root of...pink coppolo plant.

Sassy...not trashy.

Ok, um... Ok, um...

Principal pimpel?

Uh, you know, I would like to have my pimple

Along with me on a desert island,

As it is a faithful companion

And a rugged outdoorsman.

But as far as that nail polish part of the question,

Since neither I nor my pimple wears it,

I find it irrelevant and moot.

Ewww, ok. Ewww.

Ok, bernie kibbitz?

[Snores]

Bernie?

Ewwww. Ok!

So, like, that's the end of our competition.

And now we're gonna decide

Who gets to be mister whatever.

[Cheering]

So, like, who do you think it should be?

Like, I don't know. That caveman is so hairy.

And that old guy is, like, totally old.

I know.

[Whispering]

Ok? Ok.

Ok? Ok.

[Groans]

Ok, so, like, our new mister whatever,

And our very first mister whatever is..

Both: principal pimpel!

Oh, thank you, thank you.

[Mumbles in choked voice]

Thank you very much.

I am mister whatever. Mr. Principal william--

Wai-ai-ai-ai-ait!wait, wait, wait wait, wait, wait.

We have a late entry into the competition.

Yeah. He's, like, a life-size cardboard cutout of...

Both: leonardo dicaprio!

Sorry, pimpel.

Obviously, the cardboard cutout

Is our new mister whatever.

This is an outrage!

I mean, this is a miscarriage of justice!

Gimme that club. I don't need this.

You think you're fresh?

[Screaming]

No!no!

Um...

S-see you next time on...

Whateverrr!

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ This is all that ♪

When you're taking a test,

Never look on another student's paper...

Especially if that student is

Reinhardt, the dancing monkey boy.

[Music plays]

♪♪♪

This has been...

And now, all thatpresents a semi-educational moment,

Everyday french with pierre escargot.

[Speaking in french]

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

[Speaking in french]

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

[Speaking in french]

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

.

Oh, yeah. Kick it.